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Newborn’s Resemblance To Mom Sparks Doubt In MIL And Husband’s Mind, They Ask For Paternity Test
You meet the love of your life, marry him, and after years of trying you finally have a baby that completes your family. Life is going incredibly well when out of the blue, you are accused of cheating by the people that you love the most! Sounds heartbreaking, doesn’t it?
That’s what happened to Reddit user Strict-Mine-1326, whose mother-in-law told her husband that their newborn looked “too much” like the mom. The original poster’s (OP) life came crashing down when they demanded a paternity test for the baby, accusing her of cheating on her husband!
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Kids look like their parents—sometimes, more like one parent who has the dominant traits
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster and her husband, Mark, are new parents and it happened after a lot of struggle where her mother-in-law was very supportive of her
Image credits: Strict-Mine-1326
Image credits:Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The couple was happy and enjoying parenthood when the poster noticed that her husband had started acting distant
Image credits: Strict-Mine-1326
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One day, he came home and said that his mother had told him that the baby looked too much like the poster, and they both asked to do a paternity test
Image credits: Strict-Mine-1326
The shocked poster agreed, but when the test revealed her husband to be the father, she went no-contact with her mother-in-law
In today’s story, we dive into a family drama that arose all because of how the poster’s newborn looks. OP tells us that she had miscarried before, and after a long struggle of two years, she and her husband, Mark, were finally blessed with a healthy baby girl, Sophia.
Throughout the miscarriages and the birth, her mother-in-law was very supportive and even came to help OP with the new baby. While things were going smoothly, the poster noticed that her husband had started acting distant from her and even spent more time at his mother’s house.
Although the poor poster was burdened with childcare and exhaustion, she didn’t complain about it, as she had received so much help from her mother-in-law. However, OP’s world turned upside down when Sophia turned 3 months old and her husband said that his mother had expressed that the baby looked too much like OP and she might’ve cheated on him.
Well, the mother-in-law and husband demanded a paternity test, leaving the poster completely heartbroken. After the results came out and he was indeed revealed to be the father, the poster decided to go no-contact with her mother-in-law, and so did Mark.
The woman then accused OP of “taking away her family,” and the couple ended up blocking her, which drew ire from their extended family. This backlash made the poster question whether she did the right thing, so she vented online and sought advice from Redditors.
Image credits: Liza Summers / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Netizens were flabbergasted by the atrocious accusation that the mother-in-law put on the poster just because the baby had her dominant features. However, most of them pointed out that her husband was equally to blame for the ordeal and backing up his mother in the first place.
It has been observed that after giving birth, women can experience a range of mental and physical symptoms, including baby blues, postnatal depression, and postpartum psychosis. Folks highlighted that the poster might be suffering from something after her delivery, and on top of it, her husband’s absence put more strain on her.
They couldn’t believe that he let her suffer for so long and then dumped a massive blame on her. The poster justified his behavior by stating that he had been in a toxic relationship in the past where he was cheated on and that’s why he reacted the way he did.
Research suggests that a person who has been cheated on may experience relationship anxiety that might make them feel insecure and worry that they’ll be cheated on again. However, folks online said that he could’ve had an honest conversation with his wife and gone to therapy rather than accuse her of cheating on him.
The poster mentioned that they were indeed going for couple’s counseling now and his past relationship was the only reason why she didn’t divorce him right there. She mentioned that even her mother-in-law was cheated on, but that didn’t give the two the right to treat her the way they did.
Do you think she did the right thing or do you agree with the Redditors who said that the husband held equal blame as the mother-in-law? What would you do if you were in her shoes? Let us know in the comments!
Folks online were baffled by the mother-in-law’s assumption that the poster had cheated, but they equally blamed her husband for agreeing to it all
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What do you think ?
mandy the capibara 11 months ago
You can't undo cheating, but neither can you undo accusing your partner of cheating.
Trillian 11 months ago
God forbid a child (and jeez, 3 months old babies basically look like ... BABIES) should favor its mother. I would never have agreed to a paternity test. If you don't trust me we have no future.
XenoMurph 11 months ago
My daughter looks acts and thinks so much like me that we used to joke my wife should have a maternity test to make sure she was hers.
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 11 months ago
OP was way too forgiving to her hubs. If my hubs did this to me, all his s**t would be on the curb, in black garbage bags, *possibly* on trash day. :)
person (i think) 11 months ago
Knowing it came from a place of trauma and his willingness to cut off his mom and do therapy, etc, I think it’s okay to give him another chance
Load More Replies...
Kate Johnson 11 months ago
What a profoundly stupid MIL. I bet she's sorry for her idiocy now that she's lost this part of her family. I'd certainly never forget this if I was the DIL.
BrownEyedPanda 11 months ago
Accusing your partner of cheating is a bell that cannot be unrung. OP'S husband had better get on his knees every morning and night, thanking God for a second chance that isn't afforded to everyone. He also had better follow through with marital counseling, as well as cutting off his mother. What a numbskull!
ArchangelLoki 11 months ago
God I would have to leave that husband. Not necessarily forever, but a serious break. That is such a serious accusation to level and he needs to learn.
Wang Zhuang 11 months ago
OP is better than me, because I definitely would have split not only with MIL, but the husband as well. Trust is the foundation of all relationships, and the moment he agreed with his MIL on the paternity test, he demonstrated that he didn't trust his wife. I read her excuse about his past trust issues, but that's not good enough for me. If he has trust issues, he has no business trying to be in a committed relationship until he receives some sort of therapy to resolve them. If I were OP, I would have agreed to the test, but on the condition that once the test proves the baby is his, he has to agree to sign divorce papers.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 11 months ago (edited)
When my baby cousin was born, she looked JUST like my uncle. And I mean a carbon copy. She’s two now and looks more like a blend of them. What I’m saying is babies look weird. It doesn’t mean anything. I apparently look just like my nana, but think like my mum.
Susie Elle 11 months ago
My nephew looks a lot like me, especially when he laughs
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painttheyellowsubgreen 11 months ago
Personally, not sure if I could get over it. The paternity test is a smack to the face. But the biggest issue I have in all of this is he abandoned them for months. He believed his mother enough from the moment she started whispering in his ear that he only went home to sleep. He didn't just break her trust asking for the DNA test. He lied to her repeatedly. He was awfully comfortable with the good old "working late" routine.
Upstaged75 11 months ago
Agreed. I wouldn't be able to forgive him for that. I'd have packed up the kid and left at the accusation - and then mailed him the results.
Load More Replies...
Captive 11 months ago
Accusing a woman of cheating while she is innocent is one of the worst things you can do to her mentally. Shame on MIl for thinking that for such a stupid reason, shame on the guy for even considering it for a second. OP reacted well and wanted to fix things instead of ending it there, which I wouldn't have blamed her for
bookbuddy 11 months ago
The husband is TA. MILs can always try to start something, but it means nothing if he doesn't believe her. Also, I do kind of agree that a child should be tested for paternity at birth, ONLY for legal reasons for support, without any implication of cheating. In my family, each child looks wildly different.
Jenna Kay 11 months ago
My sister and I look completely different. She is very tall, thin, milk white skin and pale grey eyes, thick blond hair - looks just like a runway model, while I am of average height, medium build, with olive skin, mouse brown hair, and brown eyes. I also tan to a beautiful American Indian brown thanks to my grandfather (one of my best traits), while my sister burns after 5 minutes of sun. Genetics are weird!
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Ginger ninja 11 months ago
OP is very forgiving, that man had better GROVEL at her feet for the rest of their lives
FlamingRed 11 months ago
Should have accompanied the paternity test results with divorce papers. Wait 'till he does this with the next child.
Surly Scot 11 months ago (edited)
Relationship over. Don't care about mental issues or past partners cheating, you don't drag your baggage from prior relationships into your new one. MIL needs cut off completely for life, no recovering from that. I'd dump husband too because his mothers words still matter more than his wife's, no coming back from that, little mama's boy. If he could believe his wife cheated after 10yrs together just from something his mother mentioned, there's no true foundation of trust or relationship between OP and him. Also husband is stupid enough to believe mother's rantings about strong genes and baby looking too much like OP, then I'd dump the guy just for being that big of a moron - i wouldn't want that stupidity infecting my kid. Toss the family away and go it alone with the kid.
Lousha 11 months ago
As for looks, I looked like my mom from day one. As I grew, I turned more and more like her, to the point that when she had her 25 year high school reunion, at first I entered the room instead of her, and people just got confused for a second, because she can't be that young... But by then (I was 18 at the time) you could also see a few traits from my dad, and as I got older, some of these sort of "took over" . I also have one bio brother that looks very similar to me, and another that looks zero percent like anyone in our whole extended family. Looks mean nothing.
Lousha 11 months ago
Trust on the other hand means a whole lot, and throwing that away so nonchalantly was a huge mistake from the husband. That is not something you can really come back from. Like actual cheating. Your partner might decide to get over it, but you'll never have the relationship you had before.
Load More Replies...
ॐBoyGanesh 11 months ago (edited)
Her MIL basically called her an adulterer which, in certain cultures, is akin to calling her an amoral slút. That’s the implication. That her husband decided to think the same of her and basically tell her the same speaks volumes about these people. A coworker has a similar thing happen. She told her husband that if the baby wasn’t his, she expected him to serve her with divorce papers. It it was his, she’d serve him for the allegations. She went to legal help, got her papers and served him right before the paternity test. She told him that even tho he thinks she cheated, she never even considered an affair & 100% knew the kid was his. Of course, she was right, got physical custody with limited visitation & gets a tiny amount of child support. She’s been dating a great guy who’s secure in their relationship & they buillt a beautiful life based on love & trust.
adobe blue 11 months ago
Everyone jumping to divorce is typical for bored panda. people have salvaged relationships where one partner did cheat. Many relationships have survived much worse. So everyone including the commenters needs to take a deep breath, let the LW bring her husband to counseling, and fix the family. As to the MIL, that is more counseling and the MIL making many sacred promises she will never interfere in their family again especially if they have another kid. Maybe grandma can see her own shrink,
Luiza NP 11 months ago
Yes, I agree with you, but still rhe husband is a coward and unfair tô both OP and his mother. He is blaming his mother for something that HE did and acting like she is the villain , when in truth he is.
Load More Replies...
Laserleader 11 months ago
The biggest red flag wasn't the cheating accusation, that is a normal part of reality and evey relationship deals with it sometime. The red flag was how the MIL claimed that her family was stolen, and then proceeded to go to all her family members with her victim tale. That shows manipulation and control, and I've experienced that pain, and it only gets worse as she builds further claims and rights over the OP's life. Husband has already shown remorse and taken steps, but can he hold out fo the rest of their lives?
ArchangelLoki 11 months ago
Not every relationship has a cheating accusation, and it isn't normal to expect one.
Load More Replies...
Schmebulock 11 months ago
Hey, only the second time I have seen this reposted and the first time this year. Wonder how many more times it will happen.
Nils Skirnir 11 months ago
Another case where a little knowledge is dangerous. In this case MIL has a complete misunderstanding of how genetics work.
adobe blue 11 months ago
JUst note both the husband and his mom do not have a history of being shady or toxic. they seem like social people. social people make mistakes and should be allowed a do-over, at least one, if only for the beautiful new baby,
Melinda Landis 11 months ago
Babies don’t much look like any humans when first born. No teeth, no definition…I’ve never seen a baby I’d look at and say that must be so and so’s kid.
Lousha 11 months ago
Literally when they are born, no, they don't look like anyone other than Gollam, most of the time. But at 1-3 days old, they usually recover and "fill up" enough that their unique features can be seen. Absolutley anyone who have ever seen me would be able to pick my one-day-old baby picture out of a hundred others.
Load More Replies...
Angie Falzarano 4 months ago
How many times does this have to keep happening. I didnt look like either of my parents till about the age of 2. There are so many times that babies or even kids dont look like a parent but look like grandparents or great grandparents. At 65 I look just like my mother but when you look at my dads sisters when they were much younger look just like them and also just like my great great grandmother. But not at all like my dad. But I have his personality.
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 10 months ago
For those interested, here's the update. It's a doozy. https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1imlv71/update_aitah_for_going_nc_with_mil_after_she/
Sami-Jo Ross 11 months ago
I look nearly identical to my birth unit. I have all of three traits from my dad (his wavy hair, his bubble nose, and his hazel eyes), the rest is her. But clearly that means he's not my dad. /s
Beth Wheeler 11 months ago
I would have cut contact with that b***h as soon as he told me about it. His other relatives that are bugging them about it can also jump up a rope and mind their own damn business. She has really screwed up their marriage and there is no telling what else she has said about her DIL.
Scott Rackley 11 months ago (edited)
Your relationship is over. Get your s**t together and get a lawyer. She was basically called a whore by her MIL and husband.
Kyra Noelle 11 months ago (edited)
My sister had two boys, one looks just like his father and the other looks just like his mom. Come on people, genes can also be regressive genes. SMH
Debby Keir 11 months ago
I laughed at the idea that mother and son should take a test, because maybe she cheated - son and father perhaps, but unless he was adopted, sure, it proves she had a baby.
mandy the capibara 11 months ago
You can't undo cheating, but neither can you undo accusing your partner of cheating.
Trillian 11 months ago
God forbid a child (and jeez, 3 months old babies basically look like ... BABIES) should favor its mother. I would never have agreed to a paternity test. If you don't trust me we have no future.
XenoMurph 11 months ago
My daughter looks acts and thinks so much like me that we used to joke my wife should have a maternity test to make sure she was hers.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 11 months ago
OP was way too forgiving to her hubs. If my hubs did this to me, all his s**t would be on the curb, in black garbage bags, *possibly* on trash day. :)
person (i think) 11 months ago
Knowing it came from a place of trauma and his willingness to cut off his mom and do therapy, etc, I think it’s okay to give him another chance
Load More Replies... Kate Johnson 11 months ago
What a profoundly stupid MIL. I bet she's sorry for her idiocy now that she's lost this part of her family. I'd certainly never forget this if I was the DIL.
BrownEyedPanda 11 months ago
Accusing your partner of cheating is a bell that cannot be unrung. OP'S husband had better get on his knees every morning and night, thanking God for a second chance that isn't afforded to everyone. He also had better follow through with marital counseling, as well as cutting off his mother. What a numbskull!
ArchangelLoki 11 months ago
God I would have to leave that husband. Not necessarily forever, but a serious break. That is such a serious accusation to level and he needs to learn.
Wang Zhuang 11 months ago
OP is better than me, because I definitely would have split not only with MIL, but the husband as well. Trust is the foundation of all relationships, and the moment he agreed with his MIL on the paternity test, he demonstrated that he didn't trust his wife. I read her excuse about his past trust issues, but that's not good enough for me. If he has trust issues, he has no business trying to be in a committed relationship until he receives some sort of therapy to resolve them. If I were OP, I would have agreed to the test, but on the condition that once the test proves the baby is his, he has to agree to sign divorce papers.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 11 months ago (edited)
When my baby cousin was born, she looked JUST like my uncle. And I mean a carbon copy. She’s two now and looks more like a blend of them. What I’m saying is babies look weird. It doesn’t mean anything. I apparently look just like my nana, but think like my mum.
Susie Elle 11 months ago
My nephew looks a lot like me, especially when he laughs
Load More Replies... painttheyellowsubgreen 11 months ago
Personally, not sure if I could get over it. The paternity test is a smack to the face. But the biggest issue I have in all of this is he abandoned them for months. He believed his mother enough from the moment she started whispering in his ear that he only went home to sleep. He didn't just break her trust asking for the DNA test. He lied to her repeatedly. He was awfully comfortable with the good old "working late" routine.
Upstaged75 11 months ago
Agreed. I wouldn't be able to forgive him for that. I'd have packed up the kid and left at the accusation - and then mailed him the results.
Load More Replies... Captive 11 months ago
Accusing a woman of cheating while she is innocent is one of the worst things you can do to her mentally. Shame on MIl for thinking that for such a stupid reason, shame on the guy for even considering it for a second. OP reacted well and wanted to fix things instead of ending it there, which I wouldn't have blamed her for
bookbuddy 11 months ago
The husband is TA. MILs can always try to start something, but it means nothing if he doesn't believe her. Also, I do kind of agree that a child should be tested for paternity at birth, ONLY for legal reasons for support, without any implication of cheating. In my family, each child looks wildly different.
Jenna Kay 11 months ago
My sister and I look completely different. She is very tall, thin, milk white skin and pale grey eyes, thick blond hair - looks just like a runway model, while I am of average height, medium build, with olive skin, mouse brown hair, and brown eyes. I also tan to a beautiful American Indian brown thanks to my grandfather (one of my best traits), while my sister burns after 5 minutes of sun. Genetics are weird!
Load More Replies... Ginger ninja 11 months ago
OP is very forgiving, that man had better GROVEL at her feet for the rest of their lives
FlamingRed 11 months ago
Should have accompanied the paternity test results with divorce papers. Wait 'till he does this with the next child.
Surly Scot 11 months ago (edited)
Relationship over. Don't care about mental issues or past partners cheating, you don't drag your baggage from prior relationships into your new one. MIL needs cut off completely for life, no recovering from that. I'd dump husband too because his mothers words still matter more than his wife's, no coming back from that, little mama's boy. If he could believe his wife cheated after 10yrs together just from something his mother mentioned, there's no true foundation of trust or relationship between OP and him. Also husband is stupid enough to believe mother's rantings about strong genes and baby looking too much like OP, then I'd dump the guy just for being that big of a moron - i wouldn't want that stupidity infecting my kid. Toss the family away and go it alone with the kid.
Lousha 11 months ago
As for looks, I looked like my mom from day one. As I grew, I turned more and more like her, to the point that when she had her 25 year high school reunion, at first I entered the room instead of her, and people just got confused for a second, because she can't be that young... But by then (I was 18 at the time) you could also see a few traits from my dad, and as I got older, some of these sort of "took over" . I also have one bio brother that looks very similar to me, and another that looks zero percent like anyone in our whole extended family. Looks mean nothing.
Lousha 11 months ago
Trust on the other hand means a whole lot, and throwing that away so nonchalantly was a huge mistake from the husband. That is not something you can really come back from. Like actual cheating. Your partner might decide to get over it, but you'll never have the relationship you had before.
Load More Replies... ॐBoyGanesh 11 months ago (edited)
Her MIL basically called her an adulterer which, in certain cultures, is akin to calling her an amoral slút. That’s the implication. That her husband decided to think the same of her and basically tell her the same speaks volumes about these people. A coworker has a similar thing happen. She told her husband that if the baby wasn’t his, she expected him to serve her with divorce papers. It it was his, she’d serve him for the allegations. She went to legal help, got her papers and served him right before the paternity test. She told him that even tho he thinks she cheated, she never even considered an affair & 100% knew the kid was his. Of course, she was right, got physical custody with limited visitation & gets a tiny amount of child support. She’s been dating a great guy who’s secure in their relationship & they buillt a beautiful life based on love & trust.
adobe blue 11 months ago
Everyone jumping to divorce is typical for bored panda. people have salvaged relationships where one partner did cheat. Many relationships have survived much worse. So everyone including the commenters needs to take a deep breath, let the LW bring her husband to counseling, and fix the family. As to the MIL, that is more counseling and the MIL making many sacred promises she will never interfere in their family again especially if they have another kid. Maybe grandma can see her own shrink,
Luiza NP 11 months ago
Yes, I agree with you, but still rhe husband is a coward and unfair tô both OP and his mother. He is blaming his mother for something that HE did and acting like she is the villain , when in truth he is.
Load More Replies... Laserleader 11 months ago
The biggest red flag wasn't the cheating accusation, that is a normal part of reality and evey relationship deals with it sometime. The red flag was how the MIL claimed that her family was stolen, and then proceeded to go to all her family members with her victim tale. That shows manipulation and control, and I've experienced that pain, and it only gets worse as she builds further claims and rights over the OP's life. Husband has already shown remorse and taken steps, but can he hold out fo the rest of their lives?
ArchangelLoki 11 months ago
Not every relationship has a cheating accusation, and it isn't normal to expect one.
Load More Replies... Schmebulock 11 months ago
Hey, only the second time I have seen this reposted and the first time this year. Wonder how many more times it will happen.
Nils Skirnir 11 months ago
Another case where a little knowledge is dangerous. In this case MIL has a complete misunderstanding of how genetics work.
adobe blue 11 months ago
JUst note both the husband and his mom do not have a history of being shady or toxic. they seem like social people. social people make mistakes and should be allowed a do-over, at least one, if only for the beautiful new baby,
Melinda Landis 11 months ago
Babies don’t much look like any humans when first born. No teeth, no definition…I’ve never seen a baby I’d look at and say that must be so and so’s kid.
Lousha 11 months ago
Literally when they are born, no, they don't look like anyone other than Gollam, most of the time. But at 1-3 days old, they usually recover and "fill up" enough that their unique features can be seen. Absolutley anyone who have ever seen me would be able to pick my one-day-old baby picture out of a hundred others.
Load More Replies... Angie Falzarano 4 months ago
How many times does this have to keep happening. I didnt look like either of my parents till about the age of 2. There are so many times that babies or even kids dont look like a parent but look like grandparents or great grandparents. At 65 I look just like my mother but when you look at my dads sisters when they were much younger look just like them and also just like my great great grandmother. But not at all like my dad. But I have his personality.
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 10 months ago
For those interested, here's the update. It's a doozy. https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1imlv71/update_aitah_for_going_nc_with_mil_after_she/
Sami-Jo Ross 11 months ago
I look nearly identical to my birth unit. I have all of three traits from my dad (his wavy hair, his bubble nose, and his hazel eyes), the rest is her. But clearly that means he's not my dad. /s
Beth Wheeler 11 months ago
I would have cut contact with that b***h as soon as he told me about it. His other relatives that are bugging them about it can also jump up a rope and mind their own damn business. She has really screwed up their marriage and there is no telling what else she has said about her DIL.
Scott Rackley 11 months ago (edited)
Your relationship is over. Get your s**t together and get a lawyer. She was basically called a whore by her MIL and husband.
Kyra Noelle 11 months ago (edited)
My sister had two boys, one looks just like his father and the other looks just like his mom. Come on people, genes can also be regressive genes. SMH
Debby Keir 11 months ago
I laughed at the idea that mother and son should take a test, because maybe she cheated - son and father perhaps, but unless he was adopted, sure, it proves she had a baby.
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