Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

“She Is Not This Baby’s Mom”: Mom Desperate After MIL Starts Acting Unhinged Around Her Baby
4.1K

“She Is Not This Baby’s Mom”: Mom Desperate After MIL Starts Acting Unhinged Around Her Baby

“She Is Not This Baby’s Mom”: Mom Desperate After MIL Starts Acting Unhinged Around Her Baby“Mom, What Are You Doing?”: Woman Asks For Advice About MIL Acting Strange Towards Her Kid“Calling My Baby Girl By My Husband’s Name”: MIL’s Behavior Around Grandkid Freaks Out The Mom“Lost Her Mind”: The Internet Lists Concerns After Mom Describes MIL’s Behavior Around Her ChildMom Wonders If She’s Overreacting Over MIL’s Strange Treatment Of Her DaughterMom Says Her MIL Has Lost It, Shares How She Acts Around The Baby“My MIL Has Lost Her Mind”: Mom Can’t Stand The Way MIL Treats Her Baby“MIL Put Baby’s ENTIRE Foot In Her Mouth”: Mom At A Loss Over What To Do With Unhinged MIL“Lost Her Mind”: Concerned Mother Asks The Internet For Advice About Overbearing MIL
ADVERTISEMENT

The annoying mother-in-law is a trope so played out, the ancient Romans were making jokes about them. But far, far worse, is a mother-in-law who goes from annoying to downright intrusive particularly when they seem to have an unhealthy obsession with your child and have no regard at all for any boundaries.

A concerned mother turned to the internet for advice after sharing her MIL’s weird behavior around her kid, including her insistence on baptizing the child directly against the parent’s wishes.

RELATED:

    It can be hard to set and enforce effective boundaries with “family”

    Image credits: Kyle Nieber (not the actual photo)

    A mom described her concerns regarding a MIL that seemed way too interested in her child

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Jelleke Vanooteghem (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: Luvfallandpsl

    Jokes about mothers-in-law are thousands of years old

    The many, many negative cultural depictions of mothers-in-law (and parents-in-law in general,) seem to come from a real set of beliefs that many people hold. While it might not be clear which came first, the MIL-joke-eggs or the real, annoying MIL-chicken, jealousy, mistrust, and competition are commonly felt emotions between a person in a relationship and their partner’s parents. This situation is exacerbated when there are cultural or even economic differences between the parties. It’s not all doom and gloom, in some cases, the partner’s parents become a form of “found family,” particularly when the partner doesn’t have the best relationship with their own parents.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    As with so many situations in life, we adapt to this tension with humor. Unfortunately, mothers-in-law tend to be the butt of jokes more often than fathers, for a variety of reasons. First, many fathers simply do not take enough of a role to ever get to the point of being overbearing. Secondly, a father-in-law being joked about might respond with violence. Regardless of the reasons, mother-in-law humor has been around since the Classical era. The Roman poet Juvenal wrote in his Satire VI that married couples best “give up all hope of peace as long as your mother-in-law is still alive.”

    Despite this long history of mocking that exists in every sitcom since the invention of the television, some studies suggest that actual mothers-in-law are rarely offended by this humor. As usual with humans, we tend to always assume we aren’t the problem, so many surveyed MIL’s reported that the constant jokes in media do not bother them, as they are so exaggerated as to seem fantastical. However, in the same study, the mothers-in-law also reported not finding the jokes funny. Exaggerated or not, stories like OP’s show that every myth has some bearing on reality.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

    Having a bad relationship with in-laws doesn’t doom a marriage

    Solutions to the problem remain elusive. Going no-contact might work, but is also the “nuclear” option. Other couples attempt to set up effective boundaries, although this requires in-laws that both understand and respect boundaries, which is not a given. This can go as far as building separate domiciles for in-laws, sometimes referred to as a “mother-in-law house,” despite the fact that, presumably, the FIL would stay there as well. This can give the couple and their children some privacy while allowing many of the benefits of extended family assistance, like babysitting. However, in OP’s case, this simply would not work, as her MIL needs to be kept away from the child.

    Fortunately, OP has both identified the issue and has a partner that supports her, even if he doesn’t quite see all of his mother’s flaws. While a bad relationship with the in-laws as a catalyst for a bad marriage is a trope almost as old as the “evil MIL,” research shows that this is rarely the case. In OP’s story, for example, her marriage would no doubt suffer a lot more if her husband had a “better” relationship with his mother and if she was less willing to create strong boundaries. Sometimes issues arise when one partner overestimates or underestimates the strength of the other’s relationship with their parents. A bad in-law might just be a bad person, full stop and their kids will dislike them as well, thereby not caring if their own partner likes or dislikes them. To take it even further, if your parent was a downright bad person, it would almost be weird to marry or date a person who liked them.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)

    Netizens gave some suggestions and recommended OP not let the MIL sneak the kid away

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    OP also shared an update on the whole saga

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: Exergen Corporation (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Photography Maghradze PH (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: Luvfallandpsl

    Readers shared their shock at the MIL’s behavior

    ADVERTISEMENT

     

     

    Share on Facebook
    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Read less »
    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

    Read less »

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    Rostit .
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this MIL is downright nuts. She needs real actual mental help. She is using this grandchild has a replacement baby. Its not her kid at all. She has no rights to get between her and her mother. I hope OP shuts her down until she can get her head right. Nothing about this sounds reasonable or okay.

    Khall Khall
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I sorta wonder if she had a minor stroke or has a brain lesion. Weird behavior changes are symptoms.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Rostit .
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this MIL is downright nuts. She needs real actual mental help. She is using this grandchild has a replacement baby. Its not her kid at all. She has no rights to get between her and her mother. I hope OP shuts her down until she can get her head right. Nothing about this sounds reasonable or okay.

    Khall Khall
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I sorta wonder if she had a minor stroke or has a brain lesion. Weird behavior changes are symptoms.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Related on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda