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Shouty_Dibnah , Susan Flores / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

We asked the author of the thread for their thoughts about some of the red flags that someone is probably not ready to be a parent yet. From their perspective, one sign is that the grownup believes that their wants come before their child's needs.

"When you bring a child into the world and you decide to raise it, it’s your responsibility to provide for that child. The same goes for adopted children, you made a decision to raise that kid, so making sure they have what they need is the top priority. Also, if you are in an unstable relationship before your child is born, chances are it won’t improve because you had a child," u/NeitherEntrepreneur3 shared their thoughts with Bored Panda.

The author of the thread pointed out that they don't believe that it's ever possible to be fully ready to be a parent. That being said, "You can at least look at your circumstances objectively and think about how your priorities in life will drastically change with a child in the mix."

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal My dad used to like to go hunt for antiques in abandoned houses. He took me with him a couple of times. Turns out the houses were only abandoned between 8-5pm M-F.

EDIT: my top comment ever is about being a 4th grade B&E man!

Final score:

284points

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Chicken Nugget 2 months ago

poor kid

60points

Correct-Feed4893 , Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal Not showing physical affection to your children. I don't remember being hugged, kissed, or told "I love you". I probably needed it. I make sure to do that with my daughter every day. I don't care if we've had a bad day, that kid is going to know how loved she is.

Final score:

284points

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Alexia 2 months ago

Same here. Even worse, I received some crumbles of so-called affection only when I "obeyed", or when I had very good results at school. I never heard "I love you". I did, however, hear countless time that I was stupid, unworthy, lazy b***h etc.

95points

innit2winnit , MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

On the flip side, for u/NeitherEntrepreneur3, some of the biggest parenting green flags include a sense of personal responsibility, honesty, and good communication. Being involved in their lives is a must! "Go to their games, school open houses, plays, recitals. If you can’t be there, communicate to your children why. If you have limited resources financially, consider your child’s needs, as in absolutely need this, before you consider your own wants and desires," they said.

"Tell your kids you are proud of them, build them up instead of tearing them down. Do this from a young age. I say this all from personal experience. Finally, be honest with your children. From a young age all the way to adulthood, kids are smarter than you might think. They can figure out if you’re lying because they likely know you better than you know yourself. If you lie to them, and they find out, they’ll keep that in their minds and it can create distrust in your relationship."

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal My dad once took me into downtown LA to make me sit next to some homeless guys while berating me for getting a bad grade. He said I was gonna grow up to be just like them, lazy, poor, and stupid. A random guy in a business suit had to pull him to the side to tell him that what he was doing was abusive and would not give him the result he was looking for.

Final score:

279points

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Sue Denham 2 months ago

Hooray for random guy in business suit.

301points

AnybodySeeMyKeys , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal My mother would forget to pick me up from school. They would sit down at the dinner table and realize they had forgotten.

My father never had an actual conversation with me until I was about to graduate from college. Yes, he would get on me about stuff. Yes, he would tell me what to do. But have an actual conversation? Nope.

When I was in the high school play, on stage delivering lines, they got up and left to meet friends for dinner.

I have three happy, well-adjusted children in their twenties. They all have jobs, places to live, and health care. Just as importantly, they like coming by and hanging out with the folks. Part of it is because their mother is an amazing woman. But part of it is because, in any given situation while raising them, I'd ask myself, "What would my parents do here?" And then I'd do the opposite.

Final score:

267points

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Tina Girard 2 months ago

Just because your reproductive organs work doesn't mean you should put them to practice

161points

DragonsStrong , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal Anti-vax. I seriously had my 8yo foot impaled by a 4 inch rusty nail and didn’t even go to the doctor. Bitten by spiders, fallen from roofs, gotten various infections, no doctors. Ever. Colloidal Silver was a cure all tonic, I gargled vinegar, and ate “fortifying foods”… veggies. A lot of them. That’s not medicine. As an adult I’m missing all but 5 shots, but no one knows which because my medical records are all kinds of f****d and I don’t remember what I got. I got four childhood vaccines when I was 17 and had run away from home, and one later on as an adult because I was getting my kid vaccinated and they offered me a jab. Yes, my kids have regular doctor visits, a PcP, are completely vaccinated, and healthy. I’m on a mission to be a better dad.

Final score:

238points

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DennyS (denzoren) 2 months ago

Vaccinate your kids people, please.

144points

musicallyours01 , Emily Garland / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

We asked u/NeitherEntrepreneur3 what advice they'd give someone who has suffered a traumatic childhood, to help them heal, recover, and move on. They were kind enough to share their thoughts on this. "Things that happened to you in childhood might leave both physical and mental wounds. Wounds can heal, but sometimes they leave scars. You are not the same person as you were before you got scarred. And just like physically, some mental wounds never fully heal," they said.

"You may suffer from these issues for the rest of your life. There may not be such a thing as 'closure' or resolution. Some things just go on. But you have to realize that you survived something traumatic and have to celebrate the battles you win when you can. It’s a harsh truth to realize, but some things will never get easier over time. You simply have to accept it, live with it, and endure."

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal My mom using me as a confidant/therapist from the age of 12 to 21. When I told her at 13 that I was depressed, all I got in response was "what do you want me to do about it?" Then proceeded to scream at me and call me lazy whenever I was having a depressive episode. Even now as an adult, I feel guilty for sitting around and not doing anything. I constantly feel like I have to do or clean something in order to feel productive. Took me years to let my brain and body rest when it needs it.

Final score:

230points

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David Fox 2 months ago

Somethings you can complain to a kid that irk you: Messy room, homework, that tap that won't stop leaking. Things you can't complain about to a kid: Money, relationships, housing needs/problems.....

62points

Stetson_Bennett , Dmitry Egorov / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal As a teenager my family had a cat that loved me but was hesitant with everyone else. My parents put him down while I was on vacation with a friend. I had no idea. I never got a chance to say goodbye.

Worst part is that I was called a disappointment when I got furious at them for what they did.

Final score:

216points

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TribbleThinking 2 months ago

Cat was right about them. I am truly very sorry for your loss.

179points

_gotrice , Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal My parents were always pretty abusive. Mentally and physically. One particular instance sticks out in my head.

My dad beating my a*s when I was in grade 2 or 3 (i said 4 originally but that was a different a*s whooping also with a hockey stick). Made me kneel on tile for hrs and beat me with an aluminum hockey stick for close to 2hrs (i only know the time interval because of my friends). I screamed so loud, my friends all sat outside the side of my house crying.

After my dad went to bed, he told me to not move so I stayed kneeling on the hard tile floors all night crying. No sleep that night.

The next day, both my legs from my hips to my ankles were completely black and blue. I couldn't walk for several days after.

It was just normal for me and I didn't realize the extent of all the a*s whoopings until I was a teenager.

I tell my wife some of them and she cries every time lol I only laugh because man, to be raised where child abuse wasn't normal is literally unbelievable.

Final score:

204points

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Captive 2 months ago

What the hell man. So sorry for you

123points

shrtnylove , Tolga Ahmetler / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Children naturally look to the authority figures in their lives to get a sense of what’s right or wrong. However, someone who grows up in a dysfunctional household might not fully be aligned with societal and cultural values. In other words, what they think is completely ‘normal’ at home would shock others if they ever found out.

Both over-involvement and under-involvement can have very negative consequences. Helicopter parents who never let their kids off their (metaphorical) leash can hurt their confidence and independence in the future. On the other hand, absent parents can make their munchkins feel isolated, unsupported, and as though they are worth less than others.

#10

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal Well, there’s a lot but when I was 6 I got hit by a man speeding in a Firebird. Thankfully I was okay physically (got tossed to the other side of the road and hurt my wrists/knees.) A nice man in a work truck saw what happened and took me home. My mom opened the door, said thank you to the man and that was it. No visit to a doctor, no hugs, no comforting. It wasn’t a big deal to her so it wasn’t a big deal to me. It was like, yeah I got hit by a car. who hasn’t?

I’m 43 now and I’m healing my traumas one by one. I processed this event in trauma therapy (emdr) late last year. The entire week after felt like I got hit by a bus. My body finally released the trauma of that event. I’m living my best life now. Without her.

Final score:

200points

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DennyS (denzoren) 2 months ago

Glad you're doing better!

62points

dieloganberries , Jessica West / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#11

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal That's it's not normal for moms to leave on vacation for 2 weeks and leave their 12 year old in charge of their 9 year old at home alone.

Final score:

177points

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Alexandra 2 months ago

Those are not mothers; those are women who had children. In this case, the children survived. In other cases, children just starved to death because the women who gave birth to them thought having a holiday is more important than taking care of their child. For my part, any parent who lets their child starve and rot in their cradle should be incarcerated for life on an island with similar offenders.

94points

Pushbrown , Andrew Patrick Photography / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#12

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal The drinking. I remember them telling me so many times how they wanted me to get my license to be the DD. I remember my dad being drunk and talking bad about me. I remember the time my mom was drunk as f**k and fell into a pile of trash bags. I remember my dad taking me golfing and always stopping by the gas station on the way to get a soda cup and a beer and drink it on the drive to the golf course and continue to drink there(then obviously drive me home. I remember thinking it was normal, but thinking back... pretty sure that is how I became and alcoholic. But oh well, I'm 17 days sober now, hopefully for good.

Edit: Thanks for the support guys. If anyone is struggling with alcohol or questioning its role in your life, take a look at the subreddit "stopdrinking" (on mobile and forgot how to link it). If you have any questions or need someone to talk to about it, or anything really, my DMs are always open. Alcohol doesn't have to run your life.

Final score:

167points

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Con O Cuinn 2 months ago

Yep, had to call ambulances twice for my dad before the age of 8. Both times he was hammered and tried to walk upstairs with his hands in his pockets then fell, going backwards headfirst through our front window. Chap is dying of cirrhosis of the liver, still can't admit he's an alcoholic.

54points

Obibrucekenobi , Allan Mas / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Healthline warns that parents who provide no discipline at home leave their kids to fend for themselves. This, in turn, eventually creates adults who don’t understand boundaries.

On the flip side, parents who are overly enthusiastic about discipline at home can make their children feel fearful or rebellious.

Something that no parent should ever do is withdraw their affection or attention. It’s harmful for kids if they believe that their parents’ love is conditional.

#13

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal Being punished with isolation for having negative emotions.

Final score:

151points

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BoredPossum 2 months ago

Cruel.

50points

CrippledRage , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#14

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal I was born with cerebral palsy and used a walker as a child, this required me to hold on the walker to stand up and walk. All the way up till the 7th grade, they made me play all the sports in gym class (basketball, volleyball, badminton, etc). I was never told of wheelchair sports, nor was I ever offered an alternative to the sport we were practicing that week. As a consequence I have hated most sports until I became an adult and found that I could just watch on the sidelines far away from the ball and most harm that could befall me and enjoy the spectical. As an adult, I've come to realize that this means multiple gym teachers over the span of 6 years set me up to fail over and over and over again.

Final score:

149points

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TribbleThinking 2 months ago (edited)

That's sick. And they dare call themselves human, let alone educators.

88points

CaptainReynoldshere1 Report

#15

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal When I was about 7, my mom didn’t let me in the apartment one day after school. She just opened the door a few inches and stuck her head out. She had me give her my violin and book sack and told me to go play. She shut the door and I went and played.

I always thought it was weird, but I never gave it more than two thoughts. One day, my much older brother casually said “don’t you remember when Mom was a prostitute?”

Yeah, that was a little bit of a shock. Almost up there with her wanting me to take a nude photo of her with my birthday present, the newly released Polaroid One Step camera.

I guess you could say there were signs.

Final score:

148points

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C W 2 months ago

I guess you could say there were signs!

45points

HighlightOk8695 , Emma Bauso / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Parenting is a huge responsibility. The adults in kids’ lives set the example for what is and isn’t acceptable. If done wrong, your kids can grow up anxious, depressed, aggressive, struggling at school and work, facing problems connecting with others, and dealing with serious self-esteem issues.

That’s why authoritative parenting is so powerful. Parents who communicate clearly, take their kids’ feelings into account, are emotionally available, and provide clear consequences for misbehavior are doing things right.

When your children have a good balance of support and structure in their lives, they grow up to be confident, independent adults who excel in their studies, build strong relationships, and are healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally.

#16

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal Apparently the naked tickle game my aunt liked to play when she baby sat me wasn't something that was that common with other folks.

Final score:

129points

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madeleine f 2 months ago

Creepy.

69points

1nc0gn1toe , Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#17

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal Apparently, when my parents would make me stay in extremely uncomfortable/painful positions for hours on end, that is called “stress positions” and was a torture technique utilized by the CIA on terrorists after 9/11.

Final score:

128points

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Con O Cuinn 2 months ago (edited)

Kneeling on rice. Edit: uncooked rice to be clear.

55points

SPWatts87 , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#18

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal My Dad left shortly after I was born. I’d sometimes see him at weekends if he was sober enough to turn up. When I was 11 he told me he didn’t want to come see me anymore as that means driving and that means being sober (or not getting caught drink driving) He told me he would pay for train tickets and I could go to see him. So from age 11 I used to catch the train on a Friday afternoon from Nottingham into London then get the under ground then another train out to Essex. Where my dad would encourage me to drink and send me home drunk on a Sunday evening. At the time I just thought I was cool and independent.

Final score:

120points

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Susan Raskin 2 months ago

sad. Your dad is a pig

0points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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The author of the thread revealed to us that they never expected their question to leave such a huge impact online. They were very surprised by how quickly it got popular.

"I watch a lot of AskReddit videos on YouTube, and most of them lean towards horror or weird things people have seen. It got me thinking about if I’d ever witnessed anything creepy or messed up, and I realized that some of my childhood memories are a bit 'traumatic' as some people have told me! This example was just one of those things that I had completely forgotten about until watching those videos on YouTube," u/NeitherEntrepreneur3 explained how they got the inspiration to create the thread in the first place.

#19

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal In October 2001, my fam and I went to Disneyworld. I was 6 years old, my brother was 1. One night, we’re at some restaurant in the park, and I get chicken fingers and fries. For whatever reason, I didn’t finish my dinner. My dad was b*tching to my mom about how I wasn’t finishing the expensive chicken fingers (I have no idea how much the chicken fingers and fries cost on the kids menu, but it can’t be more than $30 in 2001 I’m guessing).

Anyway, my dad leaves the table for about 5 minutes, comes back and whispers to me “hey [name], I just saw a little boy sitting outside the kitchen missing his fingers. They were all bloody. I asked him what happened, and he said the chef cut’s off little boy’s fingers if they don’t eat their chicken fingers.” He then said that the chef told him that they turn little boy’s fingers into chicken fingers.

I was absolutely terrified. I didn’t want to have my fingers cut off. We left the restaurant, and I wouldn’t let go of my last chicken finger. I held onto that damn thing during the nightly fireworks over the castle, it was all I could think about. I refused to let my mom take the chicken finger out of my hand, I thought if I threw it away that the chef was gonna come cut off my fingers in the night.

Finally I had to go to the bathroom that night and my mom threw away the chicken tender. I completely forgot about that until last week and it just hit me with that feeling of “wtf.”

P.S., my brother and I haven’t had a relationship with our dad for several years (not because of the chicken tenders lol) but because he wasn’t really that great of a dad and has a 2nd family. Is it any wonder I’ve had chronic anxiety since I was around 5?

NeitherEntrepreneur3 , Nadin Sh / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

117points

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BoredPossum 2 months ago

What a horrible man.

58points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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#20

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal Having an older brother that emotionally and physically abused me. My family was very much ‘all siblings fight it’s normal’ about all of the things he would do. He’s now 23 and recently diagnosed as having antisocial personality disorder.

lezemt , Kindel Media / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

113points

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27RatsStackedInATrenchcoat 2 months ago

This was my younger brother, can still remember my parents going "that's just how sibling love works"

34points

yeetgodmcnechass , Denniz Futalan / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#21

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal Apparently most parents don't just have a stick lying around somewhere on every floor that they primarily use to beat their kids with.

Final score:

107points

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Nikki Gross 2 months ago (edited)

My Dad had a leather belt that he ALWAYS wore no matter what. We all knew that any little thing could set him off and off came the belt. One of the first things we did after he was killed was tear it up and throw it into the trash. If setting on fire was an option, we would have burned that damn thing up. I had an incredibly complicated relationship with my Dad and learning after I had grown up about his life, I realized he NEVER stood a chance. It in no way justified his actions, but at least I understand what led him to being the person that he turned out to be as an Adult.

3points

EnvironmentalLife762 , Meruyert Gonullu / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Which of the stories shared in this list left the biggest impact on you, dear Pandas? What are some childhood experiences that left a deeply negative effect on you? Were there any experiences that you saw with fresh eyes once you grew up?

There's absolutely no pressure, but if you have a moment and want to open up, feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments.

#22

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal That I was expected to care for my little brother who was 8 years younger than me and my grandma with dementia. My dad worked long hours and my mom worked in the basement all day. During the summer I cooked, cleaned and took care of everything while they worked. Even gave my grandma insulin shots and changed her adult diapers. This started at age 12 and went until I was 15. That’s f****d up.

Final score:

107points

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LB 2 months ago

That is, indeed, royally f****d up.

46points

Beak Hookage 2 months ago

Adultification of a minor. Yeah, that's abuse.

11points

Jan Feline 2 months ago

My mom was treated like that by her mother. She swore she'd never treat her own kids like that, and I am lucky, my mom is a wonderful person, and even better mom

7points

Nikole 2 months ago

Same. My mom was the oldest of seven and never wanted me to have the experience she did.

3points

BitchinintheBurgh' 2 months ago

This sounds awful. Did your parents do it out of spite or laziness or was it "just the way life was"? I don't mean to sound callused, but sometimes, parents have to do whatever it takes to keep a roof over their head and food on the table.

4points

Alpha 1 Solace 2 months ago

These days will see more of this as both parents need to work a lot to survive as a family. Ive seen large families where the eldest siblings end up being babysitters. It happens a lot, but i do believe as much qs possible, kids need to be kids and enjoy few responsibilities. At least this person learnt a lot of real life stuff, i suppose. Society loves lazy rich people getting a free pass but hard working families dont even get to see their kids.

2points

Never Snarky 2 months ago

What was mom doing in the basement all day, every day?

1point

Nykky 2 months ago

Why...were they not getting nurse aids? There's some programs with the government where you can get help. Just sounds like they were a******s.

0points

Zann 2 months ago

Being the unpaid slave in the house is par for the course of parental abuse..

0points

Ursula Mehlmann 2 months ago

anyway, you did a great job, sometimes families are dependent on the weakest members.

0points

Csaba Horvath 2 months ago

That sounds hard :(

0points

natalie cohen 2 months ago

When I was 12 I was running a house with 5 kids, 3 still in diapers. My Dad would drive me to the market with the 3 little ones and a blank check. I wasn’t being abused, my Mom had developed Tetanus and almost died. Her recovery was long and slow. By the time she was pretty much back I had become the third parent. Tragedies happen in families, sometimes hard things are necessary.

0points

laura lee 2 months ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Kangaroo 2 months ago (edited)

Overwhelming a young child with adult responsibilities and not giving them any help, and not letting them just be a kid and enjoy their summer because they have a toddler and an elderly lady with special needs to take care of all day and meals to cook and a house to keep clean is kind of unfair tbh.

9points

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#23

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal Does being a teen count as being part of my childhood? Being 14 and men in their 20s driving slowly behind me and asking me out or waiting outside my school and following me after school. I was so flattered back then. I know how gross it is now. Or when I was 16 and we were in a community picnic of hundreds of people and a group of guys in their early 20s thinking it was funny when they waited outside the bathroom for me and my friend and one of them hugging me from behind and grabbing my breasts while the the rest of the group laughed. Some of these guys I’ve known for a while too. And honestly I didn’t realize how much sexual abuse I went through until I was an adult. Some of the abuse was as early as maybe 3 or 4 years old.

Greedy-pineapple3292 , Truman Rexti / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

105points

POST

DennyS (denzoren) 2 months ago

That's f****d up.

38points

SubieBrina , Luis Poletti / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#24

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal Apparently, not everyone was babysat by bar staff every night. My mother used to distract me by giving my quarters to play on the touch screen bar top games. Staff used to give me free cherry cokes. While she drank and danced and talked to guys.

Final score:

103points

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The Big Bad 2 months ago

Jeez... My first thought was that the mom needed to work and maybe had no other option then to bring her kid. But at the end it becomes clear that she just wanted to party... :(

54points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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#25

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal That every time I left the house I smelled like an ashtray because my parents were such heavy smokers. I’m 75 and never smoked. They died at 55/70 from emphysema. Don’t smoke! Or at the very least, not around your kids.

MissHibernia , 大其王 / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

96points

POST

Roger9er 2 months ago

I quit smoking when I wanted to have children, 19 years ago. I thought it was a no-go combination. Smoked for about 20 years though, a pack a day. Although I quit, I regret I ever started.

40points

1998Sunshine , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#26

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal It took me until I was 37 to understand how unhealthy my relationship was with my mother. My whole life she treated me as a friend not her child. My counselor called it parental emotional molestation. The woman is an alcoholic. I feel like I was never a kid. I became a mother at 15.

Final score:

92points

POST

Amity 2 months ago

I'm sorry. Every kid deserves a childhood.

31points

excusetheblood , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#27

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal My parents fighting all the time. Like yelling-level fighting.

My parents thinking it was super normal to raise me in a cult. They showed me pictures of Armageddon with fireballs coming down from the sky and killing everyone that wasn’t in our specific, tiny meaningless religion. Even all my friends from school.

My dad having no interest in spending time with us. He would purposefully work as much as possible so he didn’t have to be home. We tried getting into mustangs and Led Zeppelin just so we’d have something to talk to him about.

Final score:

84points

POST

Alexia 2 months ago (edited)

Yelling and insulting each other all the time, slamming doors at 6 A.M., then involving the child in their fights: "You are a lazy b***h, like your father!" "This idiotic behavior is something you learn from your b****y mother!" I used to think this was normal. Later I spent a few days at some friends' house and I thought "they must be fighting and yelling like everybody else, but now they are just pretending all is good".

38points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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#28

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal I had no idea it's not normal to bring your mom to bed, who was crying uncontrollaby the whole day, when I was 14. Threatening with suicide. At the same time my dad was making extra money with dealing and he had a stash in my rooms ceiling..I would lie awake, acting like I was sleeping and watch him sneak around in my room.

Objective-Gap-2433 , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

84points

POST

Roger9er 2 months ago

That is, to put it very mildly, not ok.

41points

iamalext , Vika Glitter / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#29

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal My father making me choose if I would stay with him or my mom. When I was 5. I normally stayed with him and would visit my mom on the weekends. This is after our place burned down and I was sent to live with my grandparents for a while. When my dad came back to pick me up, he and my mom were no longer together and I got no explanation, just a statement of fact.

I’m a father myself, and both my parents died last year. I’ve gotten more details over the years and the realization that I chose the wrong parent so many years ago is one of those things that can just make you think….

Final score:

80points

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Con O Cuinn 2 months ago

I wouldn't say 5 year olds are even capable of making that choice.

82points

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#30

30 Things That People Grew Up With And Now Realize Were Far From Normal I don’t think mine is as messed up as others but when my parents got divorced my parents split me and my siblings up. Dad got my older siblings and my mom got me and my brother. My mom moved to a state over and I didn’t really meet my dad until I was 5? I always thought my stepdad was my dad lol (we aren’t the same ethnicity either) I always thought all divorced parents split their kids up and couldn’t live in the same state lol.

General_Eye_9603 , Samer Daboul / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

77points

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Luke Branwen 2 months ago

Parent Trap IRL isn't that cute.

31points

Note: this post originally had 49 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

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What's a childhood memory you realized was messed up as an adult?

POST

Livingwithcfs 2 months ago

What I'm getting from these is abuse is way more common than we are willing to admit. This should be part of the school curriculum, to help kids work out if abuse is happening in their home and what they should do if something is happening and support systems are there and strong enough to help those kids. It's hard for kids to recognize abuse at home, it's a case of nit seeing the wood for all the trees

38points

similarly 2 months ago

I think that's really important. I was whipped with a belt as a kid, but it was the 70s, and pretty much every boy I knew was spanked, paddled, whipped or switched, and quite a few got slaps. We knew punching and kicking was crossing a line, but we also knew it happened. I knew kids who blamed themselves: "Well, he wouldn't have done it if I hadn't ..." And other kinds of abuse were just too shameful to talk about. We knew it was wrong, but I felt I couldn't talk to anyone about it. It would help a lot of kids if adults started the conversation.

13points

similarly 2 months ago

I think the people who can share their stories are strong and brave. I'm old now, and all those things are decades behind me, but I just can't talk about it, even now.

30points

Tiny Dancer 2 months ago

I'm 60. Went to my first therapy session last week. It's never too late!

25points

Lydsylou (she/her) 2 months ago

I have nothing that compares to any of this. This is all absolutely awful and vile behaviour from who are supposed to be these children's role models and caregivers

24points

Lilc 2 months ago

It's disgusting!!!

1point

Camie Allen 2 months ago

Please please please do not diminish the pain and suffering you've experienced because someone "had it worse" your pain is valid your suffering is valid and you are valid. Hear me again, I said You are valid. Your pain and suffering is valid. And your determination to keep on moving forward despite your experiences is worthy of acknowledgment celebration.

0points

Camie Allen 2 months ago

Trauma is trauma. It doesn't matter if it lasts a long time or is only a one time thing. It doesn't matter what you went through, you had to endure the pain. So do not minimize your own trauma. Your pain is just as valid as mine and mine is just as valid as the next person and so on. Trauma can not be measured because we all handle things differently. I went through 21 years of physical, psycological and emotional abuse and of being r*ped at least 3x a week for 5 years by 2 people is not more or less of a trauma than a person who was only r*ped once or a person who only experienced emotional or physical or psychological abuse for a shirt period of time

0points

Camie Allen 2 months ago

Everyone has a different level of what they can handle. I went through more than I care to admit, even to myself, and I know what I went through was extreme and should have me drooling from being so medicated because it should have broken me. I still think "it's not as bad as if I had gone through xyz as well." But the truth is this

0points

Thom Serveaux 2 months ago

Mine is positive, or at least my memories of it are. My mom and I would often "sleepover" at her female friends' homes, sometimes for weeks at a time. They were all neat ladies and I actually loved it. Looking back, we were homeless--but my mom and her friends made sure I always had a safe place to stay. Many parts of my childhood were awful but I always 100% knew my parents loved me and wanted to take care of me.

12points

laura lee 2 months ago

That's the difference between an unfortunate situation and good parents vs same situation and having bad parents. Thankfully you got a good one 😊

10points

Susie Elle 2 months ago

That everyone in my family was so busy with themselves that they didn't notice their youngest daughter battling depression, an eating disorder and severe anxiety for years from a very early age on.

6points

Nikole 2 months ago (edited)

Yeah, my depression and anxiety pretty much got ignored, because I was “usually fine” and I got great grades. Then I discovered self-medicating with alcohol and suddenly I was in the center ring of the circus.

1point

salena258 2 months ago (edited)

Not my story. My husband. I noticed he acted like a 10 year old around his mom. That was the first red flag. He was also very low contact. Then, after we were married I discovered he would grab leftovers from the fridge and quickly eat them standing up. In the beginning I never saw him sit to eat leftover food. I eventually asked him about this behavior. He explained that he learned as a kids if his mom saw him sitting at the table she would beat him. So he learned to grab the food and leave or would hide under the table to eat. She would beat him with a fly swatter when he was trying to take a shower. He later learned to jump into the middle of their backyard pool to escape her. Even when the water was only 40 degrees F. He would make his bed look like someone was sleeping on it then sleep under his bed, because she would occasionally come in and start beating him. He could not mess up the vacuum lines without getting another beating. Now we are NC with her, and she says it is our fault. LOL

4points

Kristel Pugh 2 months ago

Making the deaf 6 year old kid play instruments in music class. :( This went on until 5th grade.

4points

laura lee 2 months ago

I hate I can read most of these and think, naw I'm still in the running for gold here and my "family" still tries the gaslight tf out of me it's crazy. I'm not NC for nothing, guess that's why I check up here, give me perspective so I can go, oh no I'm 100% right on this...

4points

ZuriLovesYou 2 months ago (edited)

Well, that was more depressing than I expected.

4points

Jessica SpeLangm 2 months ago

As f'd up as I consider my childhood because of lack of affection from my parents, they were perfect parents based on these stories. I feel for all of these kids and hope that they are healing and working through the trauma of those f'd up childhoods.

4points

Insomniac 2 months ago

Yelling at and insulting someone and calling it a "joke." Allowing other adults to berate and insult your daughter for being fat, for crying too much, for being clumsy, to the point where the child cries, then tell the child it's their own fault for reacting. My mother still claims that the problem isn't that my dad is emotionally abusive; my problem is that I react to it. That's what's wrong.

3points

Mike m 2 months ago

I thought this was going to be something else. I only made it to number 10 but it's all child abuse.

3points

justagirl 2 months ago

What did I just read.

2points

Schnitzel 2 months ago

I made it to #10. And I really don't have any words.

2points

Kim Kermes 2 months ago

I hope these creatures end in the nastiest nursing homes available, and these people tell the staff what they did.

1point

J W 2 months ago

When I was a younger teen my mother was really ill. She had to stay for a year at a hospital 10 hours drive away. We could afford to visit her every month or so. My father didn't handle it well and was a narcissist to begin with, and would look for any small reason to give us trouble (example: dinner isn't cooked yet when he was the one who drove us home). But the worst thing that still haunts me to this day was he would threaten not to let us go and see our Mum. In this situation we didn't know if each trip would be the last time we saw her. He'd threaten that alongside telling us we "obviously didn't care about her" and he should just "abandon" her every time we did something he didn't like

1point

Jack Sonol 2 months ago

My dad refused to punish my brother, almost four years older, for anything he did to me because my dad was punished for everything he did (and some things he didn't do) to his younger brother growing up. I was an oops baby, never seemed like I was important and I could never go with my siblings to do things because "I was too young" no matter what age. My sister got pregnant at 17 and gave birth at 18. Had another very quickly, different fathers. From 12-15 I was forced to watch my sister's children for 10+ hours a day except on school days, then it was only four or six hours. She often stopped by her boyfriend's for hours after work. I was refused any payment even when I begged for just five dollars a week for my (asked during summer) more than fifty hours of childcare. I am close with my sister's children because they practically see me as their father, but otherwise I hate all children and can't be around them. Because of my brother, I don't trust men AT ALL.

1point

WFH Forever 2 months ago

My earliest childhood memory was finding my mom in her closet with a plastic bag over her head after another day of drinking. According to my older siblings there was much more of that. I really don't have any memory of my life until I was around 8.

1point

Nykky 2 months ago

This post just totally reaffirms my beliefs. Nearly no one should be a parent.

0points

Jude Laskowski 2 months ago

I think people should have to pass a bunch of tests before they're allowed to have kids.

0points

Julie Richards 2 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

DogsAreLife 2 months ago (edited)

Imagine being that awful person who said "Mom's don't r#p* their daughters." They literally could have saved that little girl from so many more years of torture and they could have started her on the path to getting into a safe and loving home. (Edit: grammar).

0points

Gwen 2 months ago

When being horrifically bullied at school & having to fight constantly as a result, being told by my dad to toughen up, quit complaining & win. Or when my parents did nothing about the learning disability they were informed I had. The best though (sarcasm) they did not say a word in response when I told them I was being molested by my grandfather. They just acted like I didn't even say a word.

0points

IDRIS 2 months ago

My very, very first memeory was being a toddler running around playing. I lived wiht my grandparents. My grandmother checked my diaper and I needed to be changed. she put me on a table, opened my diaper and then took the feces and smashed it in my face, just like training a dog. As I got older and leanred to speak better, I talked with my older sister (1 year older and Grafathers favorite). She said it never happened to her. My grandmother also used to slap me in the face for looking in the mirror. she slapped me HARD each time and said, "you're not pretty so stop pretnending like you are." These are only a few things. I was pretty happy when the old bat died.

0points

Jude Laskowski 2 months ago

I hope you don't smash feces in your dog's face when you're house training them! They don't understand what you're doing, except that you're being mean to them.

0points

Tobias Reaper 2 months ago

i was an orphan and spent most of my childhood in an orphanage but they kicked me out because i asked for more food. So i joined a gang of pick pockets in london.

0points

CardboardWarrior88 2 months ago

Thinking that ALL famillys did the same s**t that my parents did. They indeed did not.

0points

deletemyaccount 2 months ago

My father wasn't physically abusive but he provided no emotional support whatsoever and all but refused Hto interact with us. I remember begging him to play with me all hew wanted to do was watch TV. He was a pitcher in HS and I can count on one hand the number of times we played catch. He tried to bond with me in my late 20's but by then I had no interest

0points

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Livingwithcfs 2 months ago

38points

similarly 2 months ago

13points

similarly 2 months ago

I think the people who can share their stories are strong and brave. I'm old now, and all those things are decades behind me, but I just can't talk about it, even now.

30points

Tiny Dancer 2 months ago

I'm 60. Went to my first therapy session last week. It's never too late!

25points

Lydsylou (she/her) 2 months ago

I have nothing that compares to any of this. This is all absolutely awful and vile behaviour from who are supposed to be these children's role models and caregivers

24points

Lilc 2 months ago

It's disgusting!!!

1point

Camie Allen 2 months ago

0points

Camie Allen 2 months ago

0points

Camie Allen 2 months ago

0points

Thom Serveaux 2 months ago

12points

laura lee 2 months ago

That's the difference between an unfortunate situation and good parents vs same situation and having bad parents. Thankfully you got a good one 😊

10points

Susie Elle 2 months ago

That everyone in my family was so busy with themselves that they didn't notice their youngest daughter battling depression, an eating disorder and severe anxiety for years from a very early age on.

6points

Nikole 2 months ago (edited)

1point

salena258 2 months ago (edited)

4points

Kristel Pugh 2 months ago

Making the deaf 6 year old kid play instruments in music class. :( This went on until 5th grade.

4points

laura lee 2 months ago

4points

ZuriLovesYou 2 months ago (edited)

Well, that was more depressing than I expected.

4points

Jessica SpeLangm 2 months ago

4points

Insomniac 2 months ago

3points

Mike m 2 months ago

I thought this was going to be something else. I only made it to number 10 but it's all child abuse.

3points

justagirl 2 months ago

What did I just read.

2points

Schnitzel 2 months ago

I made it to #10. And I really don't have any words.

2points

Kim Kermes 2 months ago

I hope these creatures end in the nastiest nursing homes available, and these people tell the staff what they did.

1point

J W 2 months ago

1point

Jack Sonol 2 months ago

1point

WFH Forever 2 months ago

1point

Nykky 2 months ago

This post just totally reaffirms my beliefs. Nearly no one should be a parent.

0points

Jude Laskowski 2 months ago

I think people should have to pass a bunch of tests before they're allowed to have kids.

0points

Julie Richards 2 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

DogsAreLife 2 months ago (edited)

0points

Gwen 2 months ago

0points

IDRIS 2 months ago

0points

Jude Laskowski 2 months ago

I hope you don't smash feces in your dog's face when you're house training them! They don't understand what you're doing, except that you're being mean to them.

0points