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20
Man Jokingly Analyzes Bible Stories As Non-Religious Literature And Finds It “Just Objectively Hilarious”
Interview With Author
“Is the Bible true?” – a question everyone has thought about at some point in their lives – doesn’t matter if you’re an ardent skeptic, a generational believer, or someone who recently began to wonder about the whole deity subject.
There’re nearly 8 billion people residing on Earth right now, and all of us have or will have our own opinions regarding the whole creation of the universe thing.
Some might think that it’s self-evident that God is real; perhaps it’s the fear of unknowingness or the dread that comes with our unavoidable departure from life, or maybe folks require a support system and relying on a divine being is what gets them through life – whatever it is, it’s a personal choice.
However, we can all probably agree that some Bible stories are peculiar, at the very least, and this TikToker pointed it out in his now-viral video.
More info: TikTok
Man lays out some popular Bible stories, says reading them outside of religious texts is “just objectively hilarious”
Image credits: @bennyvelour
“The Bible, kind of” – Micah or Benny Velour is a 27-year-old musician who recently took over TikTok with his hilarious take on Bible stories. The video has managed to get over 10M views, 2.4M likes, and 35.7K comments praising the man for his storytelling skills.
Many ponder whether the Bible should be interpreted literally – well, maybe this video will be able to give you some answers
Image credits: Fried Dough
The man began his video by pointing out that looking at some of the Bible’s classic stories through an objective lens could be pretty amusing.
Throughout the viral TikTok, Micah has touched on the tales of David and King Saul, the “Binding of Isaac,” and Jesus being both God and God’s son.
Image credits: @bennyvelour
Bored Panda managed to reach out to the creator of the video, and he kindly agreed to answer a couple of our questions.
The man is from Seattle, Washington. He makes TikToks in his free time because he likes to make people laugh, and the platform is a great outlet for him to do so.
“I grew up in a non-denominational, Christian family and went to church for the first 17 years of my life. I’ve always thought that the Bible had interesting stories in it, so I thought it would be funny to tell people them in the way that I talk, which really seems to resonate with millennials and Gen-Z,” Micah said when we asked him about the inspiration behind the video.
Image credits: @bennyvelour
We’ve also wondered whether the musician is a believer himself, to which he replied with: “I’ve purposely painted myself as ‘religiously ambiguous’ during my lives as to not divide the crowd I’ve created, sort of as a peace measure. So I don’t talk about faith publicly on a platform that big typically, but I would say if I am anything, it’s agnostic.”
Image credits: @bennyvelour
Since the video got a ton of positive feedback, BP was curious about the most memorable reactions the author has received so far: “I would have to say my co-workers and family who now seem to think I’m on the brink of being ‘famous’ and don’t want me to forget about them are the most memorable reactions. Besides that, I don’t really pay attention to reactions. A lot of people think it’s funny, a lot of people think it’s not. I just turned 27, I’m too old to care about what the internet thinks, I’m just having fun!”
Image credits: @bennyvelour
And lastly, Micah added: “I make these videos for fun, oftentimes people take them the wrong way. I just want everyone to understand that I’m just a man making funny videos. There’s no depth beyond that. Also, this has been great for my music. An increase of 55,000 in listeners compared to a month ago is incredible. I appreciate everybody that watches these videos and supports me, whether it’s through the videos or the music. I never expected this to happen, but here we are. I can’t wait to see what happens next.”
Don’t hesitate to give the man a follow, and let us know what you think about his humorous video and Bible stories in general in the comments section down below!
You can watch the video here:
@bennyvelour The Bible, kind of #foryoupage #fyp ♬ original sound – Benny Velour
Fellow TikTok users shared their amusing reactions
What do you think ?
Humanoid Panda 2 years ago
I actually think it is sad to know that so many people actually believe the sciptures.
Ozacoter 2 years ago
It is really sad thinking how many people in 2022 still follows mythology from thousands of years ago.
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TheDivineMsM 2 years ago
The bible reminds me of the game telephone.... where you pass a story on so many times it gets lost in translation and ends up being totally ridiculous in the end. So many people interpret it differently.
Elea Bell 2 years ago
I just want to point out that King Saul was paranoid about the possibility of David replacing him, especially as the people loved David more than Saul. He wanted David dead, and felt like sending him into enemy territory to not only kill 100 of their men, but collect their foreskins as well, would be a good way to have David killed without actually committing murder. A direct order to do something like that would be indirect murder, but setting it as a bridal price made it entirely on David if he went out to do that and got killed.
Miss Kat O 2 years ago
I'd also hazard a guess that what we call foreskins wouldn't be the intended meaning of the word, language from myth and legend gets lost over time in translation. And how many legends are subject to hyperbole...like Rganor Lothbrok and the pit of snakes, or The horse or Troy
Load More Replies...
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
I was trained from birth, like Christians are, to not question anything about the bible. Not to question the pastors, men, God, any of it. Just accept and have faith. Because it turns out, all of this s**t falls apart the SECOND you question it. Why did Jesus have to die? God could have forgiven us without that. Who did Adam and Eve's children have children with? Why are the women in the bible, Leah, Ruth, Dinah, even Eve and Mary, treated so abysmally, while cruel men like Saul and David become heroes? It's almost like it's promoting an archaic and problematic world view that harms more than it hurts. If anyone tells you to "have faith" and not question something, RUN. Once it clicked for me that everything I'd been told was essential in a "loving relationship with Jesus" was also a list of red flag warnings for an abusive partner, I was out. (No, this is not your invitation to counter with your personal stories about Jesus and prayer, being sooo awesome, you self-centered assholes.)
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
Red flags: He tells you he loves you, but he doesn't show it. He tells you he's there for you, but you can never see him or feel him, you just have to believe that he is, even when you feel more alone than ever. You have to "explain" what everything he says/does "means" for it to make sense, rationalize everything. Don't question him AT ALL. He is your authority, submit to him, and submit to men acting in his name. PROVE THAT YOU LOVE HIM! No, not like that, do more! Ah, it's not enough, therefore PUNISHMENT! No, wait, he's just testing you to make sure you REALLY love him and are faithful to him and- No. It turns out, "God" is an insecure, abusive twat, and I hope any of you struggling with a lifetime of these f****d up beliefs can find some reprieve. I'm here for you if you do.
Load More Replies...
Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago
I was required to go to Sunday school and church as a kid. Since my family was always talking about the Bible (which they had not read), I read it, starting with the Gospels and then branching out. One of the first things I saw was Matthew 6:5-6, which says, "And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others... But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret." So yeah. My family made me go pray in public every week so that I could learn about a guy who told everyone not to pray in public. I actually like Jesus, the historical figure (yeah, love your neighbor! throw those moneychangers out!), but I don't see how his teachings overlap with how Christianity is often currently practiced.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
It's amazing to me how Christians so deliberately go against what Jesus taught, and then get really mad when we remind them what Jesus taught. It's like how I LOVE treating Christians how they treat us. I've been screamed at for decades, called every name in the book, all of it, because I'm not a Christian. So why is it okay for them to constantly scream I'm going to hell, but I can't scream back that their religion is b******t? Why is it okay for them to show up here on atheist-related discussions and proselytize, but we don't go to their churches and interrupt the sermons to explain that Christianity is abusive? No, they whine and cry that people are "so meeeeeean!" to them, all while remaining completely oblivious to the fact that they brought this s**t on themselves for being assholes. Yeah, we aren't "mean" to Christians because they're so good and kind and nice, you know.
Load More Replies...
Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)
"It's like a fever dream written by a mad man." -Roger the Alien from American Dad, while laughing hysterically
Den Ver 2 years ago (edited)
While driving home from church with my parents when I was 10? years old, a formative moment in my life occurred when they asked what I learned in Sunday school. I haltingly told them about God commanding Abraham to kill his son. They could tell I had questions and was unsettled. This brought about a good discussion which ended with my father asking, "Do you think I'd do that to you, if God said to"? I didn't answer right away, since I was analyzing the possible reasons for 'yes' and 'no' in my head, and I remember my dad interrupting my thoughts saying, "No". "No, I would not do that. You don't need to worry". It seemed he was almost about to laugh at the absurdity of the concept. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I started questioning things a lot more after that and realized this "church stuff" needed to be taken with a giant grain of salt. Ideally, I think this is a discussion every kid should have with their parents. Would mom or dad kill me (or physically/emotionally harm me) if commanded. If this was done, there would be a lot more skepticism and less ego associated with religion -- which causes a lot of the world's problems.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
This is exactly how we know the church/God is not "pro-life" by any stretch of the imagination. God LOVES killing babies and children. Abortion? Not nearly traumatic enough, let's torture to death a few kids who called a bald man bald. I should probably not use the word "abortion," but rather, talk about celebrating God's love via Passover instead. That Christians think abortion is horrible but are a-okay with the bible demonstrates their foolishness. Christianity's effed up belief system has destroyed America.
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Josh Patterson 2 years ago
I just had one of these moments in the car picking up my kids. I told them I was stung by a horse and they laughed, I told them it had the tail of a scorpion and the head of a man. They laughed harder. When I googled it and showed them it was in the bible they got quiet. Its hard to mentally handle half the population (and our whole family) believing these poorly-written fairy tales.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
Give them the tools to question and interrogate these things early, and hard. "Why would it say that?" "Why would a religion want people to not question things?" "Why do so many people think this is okay? What do YOU think?" "What does it make you feel to read this?" Then make sure they are well versed in the history of ancient texts in general. Most don't realize that the bible is just a whole bunch of others' religious stuff with new wording. Let your kids know that it's a text to be questioned constantly.
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LeeBreezy 2 years ago
there is nothing wrong with religion. believe what you want, i dont think it matters. what is the problem is the people. making religion your whole personality is wrong. forcing other people to get into it is wrong. just being an absolute s**t person "in the name of god" is wrong. obviously, read the bible with a pinch of salt. whether or not these stories did or did not happen is irrelevant when youre a s**t person. believe what you want, but dont forget to be a good person first.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
Gosh, all of the abuse and war in the name of religion might suggest otherwise. F**k religion, and cue the whiny downvotes from people who don't like it when everyone doesn't believe in the same imaginary b.s. they do.
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Metanoia 2 years ago
In case if Twitter, Reddit and Tiktok goes down, idk how people who run BoredPanda would make a living.
Michelle A 2 years ago
Ths is probably how its going to be from now on. Its not going to end. I see Yahoo articles, Newsweek, Washington post, NY post all pull viral bits from TT, FB, and Reddit.
Load More Replies...
StormWolf 2 years ago
As a weird (therefore lonely) teen, I had plenty of free time so one boring summer holiday, I decided to read the bible cover to cover, both testaments. I was 14 and had recently gone from apathetic christian to atheist (agnostic now) so I read it as a work of fiction and realised that, excluding the mind-numbing "this one begat that one who begat the other..." stuff, it's a pretty interesting story. With some surprisingly humorous parts too!
chiizu !! 2 years ago
Exactly! I was thinking about it recently. The bible is a hell of a story, with so many plot twists and oracles and betrayals. It's just unfortunate that some people believe in it enough to hurt others over it.
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Moxitron Jazz 2 years ago
what a shocker, dogma written by morons two millenia ago does not make sense now?!?!? stop the presses, this Tik-knobber should run for office!!!
KombatBunni 2 years ago (edited)
Had a mate of mine tell me once that the blank pages of a soft cover bible made great emergency rolling papers for cigarettes..
Bookaday 2 years ago
If you think about it, the Bible really doesn’t make any sense. The last time I read it (kids version) I was 10, and I think I almost laughed a few times. If you handed someone a book without telling them it was a paraphrased version of the Bible, safe to say a lot of people would be confused. I know I’m rambling at this point, but my favorite thing poking fun at the Bible said: God said let there be light, and there was still nothing but now everyone could see it.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
God created light on the first day, but created light and dark on the fourth day, or... something? The bible contradicts itself constantly. I first saw it when I read the gospels, which purport to be four eyewitness accounts, but none are actually eyewitness accounts and all are contradictory. That's before we get into all of the earlier texts it's taken from, too.
Load More Replies...
Brenda 2 years ago
The Bible has been translated so many times, it couldn't possibly be like the original. It was the apostles that wrote it, every part different. I never thought it was meant to be literal interpretations, more stories about the past and guidance for people. You take it literally since every translation was different and every language translated it differently and not all words translate correctly into other languages.
Elizabeth Molloy 2 years ago
The censorship on FB is seriously pissing me off ... oh sorry, I mean p*ssing me off.
Mikey Kliss 2 years ago
I grew up Catholic and was forced to read the Bible growing up. Even reading these stories in context was crazy. I got in a lot of trouble saying things similar to this post.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
Ah, Sunday School. I was nine. "But why did God put the tree in the garden in the first place?" The circular logic didn't help. "But that's just mean!" I protested, and then was lectured that God is not "mean." Life experiences taught me otherwise.
Load More Replies...
Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
"Jesus Was An Airborne Ranger: Find Your Purpose Following the Warrior Christ" written by John McDougall, Chaplain, U.S. Army Rangers, Foreword by Stu Weber; Copyright 2015, Trade Paperback ISBN 978-1-60142-692-5, eBook ISBN 978-1-60142-693-2.
Juan Pablo Soto Jeria 2 years ago
The bible is the greatest fantasy of all time, well at least it´s my favorite movie from the Silve Era of Cinema.
BasedWang12.2 2 years ago
yooooo... This is the bible I needed as a kid to get me into any of this b******t. This dude needs to re-write
Sarah Garza-Karlin 2 years ago
I am a Bible student and he's right. The stories are crazy and you know what's even crazier, there are so many puns in the Bible... God is the author of humor... so don't ever underestimate what you read in that book. It literally can change your life.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago (edited)
You can also read older texts with the same stories, because the bible is just retellings of already-existing mythologies. Flood? Savior? Plagues? Commandments? Virgin birth? God on the mountain? Sacrificing your child? It's all in countless other texts that are thousands of years older and more directly translated than the bible. The Epic of Gilgamesh, Rig Veda, the Ebla tablets, even the Greek epics all predate the bible by centuries, even millenia, and contain all of the same lessons in different cultural iterations. So pick up some Aristotle or Lao Tse, read up on Gil and Enkidu. It can literally change your life.
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Mihai Mara 2 years ago
Yo! So this dude just assumed the pronouns of the dudes from the Bible? :)))) Jk
Tamra 2 years ago
You speak of arrogance on the part of those who do not believe as you do, Bill. Ironic, that the selfsame arrogance on the part of Christians throughout history, and in present day, has caused untold suffering by those who judge, abuse and subjugate those who don't believe as they do. When Christians stop forcing their beliefs and judgments upon others, they will be less judged.
Load More Replies... Humanoid Panda 2 years ago
I actually think it is sad to know that so many people actually believe the sciptures.
Ozacoter 2 years ago
It is really sad thinking how many people in 2022 still follows mythology from thousands of years ago.
Load More Replies... TheDivineMsM 2 years ago
The bible reminds me of the game telephone.... where you pass a story on so many times it gets lost in translation and ends up being totally ridiculous in the end. So many people interpret it differently.
Elea Bell 2 years ago
I just want to point out that King Saul was paranoid about the possibility of David replacing him, especially as the people loved David more than Saul. He wanted David dead, and felt like sending him into enemy territory to not only kill 100 of their men, but collect their foreskins as well, would be a good way to have David killed without actually committing murder. A direct order to do something like that would be indirect murder, but setting it as a bridal price made it entirely on David if he went out to do that and got killed.
Miss Kat O 2 years ago
I'd also hazard a guess that what we call foreskins wouldn't be the intended meaning of the word, language from myth and legend gets lost over time in translation. And how many legends are subject to hyperbole...like Rganor Lothbrok and the pit of snakes, or The horse or Troy
Load More Replies... Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
I was trained from birth, like Christians are, to not question anything about the bible. Not to question the pastors, men, God, any of it. Just accept and have faith. Because it turns out, all of this s**t falls apart the SECOND you question it. Why did Jesus have to die? God could have forgiven us without that. Who did Adam and Eve's children have children with? Why are the women in the bible, Leah, Ruth, Dinah, even Eve and Mary, treated so abysmally, while cruel men like Saul and David become heroes? It's almost like it's promoting an archaic and problematic world view that harms more than it hurts. If anyone tells you to "have faith" and not question something, RUN. Once it clicked for me that everything I'd been told was essential in a "loving relationship with Jesus" was also a list of red flag warnings for an abusive partner, I was out. (No, this is not your invitation to counter with your personal stories about Jesus and prayer, being sooo awesome, you self-centered assholes.)
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
Red flags: He tells you he loves you, but he doesn't show it. He tells you he's there for you, but you can never see him or feel him, you just have to believe that he is, even when you feel more alone than ever. You have to "explain" what everything he says/does "means" for it to make sense, rationalize everything. Don't question him AT ALL. He is your authority, submit to him, and submit to men acting in his name. PROVE THAT YOU LOVE HIM! No, not like that, do more! Ah, it's not enough, therefore PUNISHMENT! No, wait, he's just testing you to make sure you REALLY love him and are faithful to him and- No. It turns out, "God" is an insecure, abusive twat, and I hope any of you struggling with a lifetime of these f****d up beliefs can find some reprieve. I'm here for you if you do.
Load More Replies... Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago
I was required to go to Sunday school and church as a kid. Since my family was always talking about the Bible (which they had not read), I read it, starting with the Gospels and then branching out. One of the first things I saw was Matthew 6:5-6, which says, "And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others... But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret." So yeah. My family made me go pray in public every week so that I could learn about a guy who told everyone not to pray in public. I actually like Jesus, the historical figure (yeah, love your neighbor! throw those moneychangers out!), but I don't see how his teachings overlap with how Christianity is often currently practiced.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
It's amazing to me how Christians so deliberately go against what Jesus taught, and then get really mad when we remind them what Jesus taught. It's like how I LOVE treating Christians how they treat us. I've been screamed at for decades, called every name in the book, all of it, because I'm not a Christian. So why is it okay for them to constantly scream I'm going to hell, but I can't scream back that their religion is b******t? Why is it okay for them to show up here on atheist-related discussions and proselytize, but we don't go to their churches and interrupt the sermons to explain that Christianity is abusive? No, they whine and cry that people are "so meeeeeean!" to them, all while remaining completely oblivious to the fact that they brought this s**t on themselves for being assholes. Yeah, we aren't "mean" to Christians because they're so good and kind and nice, you know.
Load More Replies... Izzy Curer 2 years ago (edited)
"It's like a fever dream written by a mad man." -Roger the Alien from American Dad, while laughing hysterically
Den Ver 2 years ago (edited)
While driving home from church with my parents when I was 10? years old, a formative moment in my life occurred when they asked what I learned in Sunday school. I haltingly told them about God commanding Abraham to kill his son. They could tell I had questions and was unsettled. This brought about a good discussion which ended with my father asking, "Do you think I'd do that to you, if God said to"? I didn't answer right away, since I was analyzing the possible reasons for 'yes' and 'no' in my head, and I remember my dad interrupting my thoughts saying, "No". "No, I would not do that. You don't need to worry". It seemed he was almost about to laugh at the absurdity of the concept. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I started questioning things a lot more after that and realized this "church stuff" needed to be taken with a giant grain of salt. Ideally, I think this is a discussion every kid should have with their parents. Would mom or dad kill me (or physically/emotionally harm me) if commanded. If this was done, there would be a lot more skepticism and less ego associated with religion -- which causes a lot of the world's problems.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
This is exactly how we know the church/God is not "pro-life" by any stretch of the imagination. God LOVES killing babies and children. Abortion? Not nearly traumatic enough, let's torture to death a few kids who called a bald man bald. I should probably not use the word "abortion," but rather, talk about celebrating God's love via Passover instead. That Christians think abortion is horrible but are a-okay with the bible demonstrates their foolishness. Christianity's effed up belief system has destroyed America.
Load More Replies... Josh Patterson 2 years ago
I just had one of these moments in the car picking up my kids. I told them I was stung by a horse and they laughed, I told them it had the tail of a scorpion and the head of a man. They laughed harder. When I googled it and showed them it was in the bible they got quiet. Its hard to mentally handle half the population (and our whole family) believing these poorly-written fairy tales.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
Give them the tools to question and interrogate these things early, and hard. "Why would it say that?" "Why would a religion want people to not question things?" "Why do so many people think this is okay? What do YOU think?" "What does it make you feel to read this?" Then make sure they are well versed in the history of ancient texts in general. Most don't realize that the bible is just a whole bunch of others' religious stuff with new wording. Let your kids know that it's a text to be questioned constantly.
Load More Replies... LeeBreezy 2 years ago
there is nothing wrong with religion. believe what you want, i dont think it matters. what is the problem is the people. making religion your whole personality is wrong. forcing other people to get into it is wrong. just being an absolute s**t person "in the name of god" is wrong. obviously, read the bible with a pinch of salt. whether or not these stories did or did not happen is irrelevant when youre a s**t person. believe what you want, but dont forget to be a good person first.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
Gosh, all of the abuse and war in the name of religion might suggest otherwise. F**k religion, and cue the whiny downvotes from people who don't like it when everyone doesn't believe in the same imaginary b.s. they do.
Load More Replies... Metanoia 2 years ago
In case if Twitter, Reddit and Tiktok goes down, idk how people who run BoredPanda would make a living.
Michelle A 2 years ago
Ths is probably how its going to be from now on. Its not going to end. I see Yahoo articles, Newsweek, Washington post, NY post all pull viral bits from TT, FB, and Reddit.
Load More Replies... StormWolf 2 years ago
As a weird (therefore lonely) teen, I had plenty of free time so one boring summer holiday, I decided to read the bible cover to cover, both testaments. I was 14 and had recently gone from apathetic christian to atheist (agnostic now) so I read it as a work of fiction and realised that, excluding the mind-numbing "this one begat that one who begat the other..." stuff, it's a pretty interesting story. With some surprisingly humorous parts too!
chiizu !! 2 years ago
Exactly! I was thinking about it recently. The bible is a hell of a story, with so many plot twists and oracles and betrayals. It's just unfortunate that some people believe in it enough to hurt others over it.
Load More Replies... Moxitron Jazz 2 years ago
what a shocker, dogma written by morons two millenia ago does not make sense now?!?!? stop the presses, this Tik-knobber should run for office!!!
KombatBunni 2 years ago (edited)
Had a mate of mine tell me once that the blank pages of a soft cover bible made great emergency rolling papers for cigarettes..
Bookaday 2 years ago
If you think about it, the Bible really doesn’t make any sense. The last time I read it (kids version) I was 10, and I think I almost laughed a few times. If you handed someone a book without telling them it was a paraphrased version of the Bible, safe to say a lot of people would be confused. I know I’m rambling at this point, but my favorite thing poking fun at the Bible said: God said let there be light, and there was still nothing but now everyone could see it.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
God created light on the first day, but created light and dark on the fourth day, or... something? The bible contradicts itself constantly. I first saw it when I read the gospels, which purport to be four eyewitness accounts, but none are actually eyewitness accounts and all are contradictory. That's before we get into all of the earlier texts it's taken from, too.
Load More Replies... Brenda 2 years ago
The Bible has been translated so many times, it couldn't possibly be like the original. It was the apostles that wrote it, every part different. I never thought it was meant to be literal interpretations, more stories about the past and guidance for people. You take it literally since every translation was different and every language translated it differently and not all words translate correctly into other languages.
Elizabeth Molloy 2 years ago
The censorship on FB is seriously pissing me off ... oh sorry, I mean p*ssing me off.
Mikey Kliss 2 years ago
I grew up Catholic and was forced to read the Bible growing up. Even reading these stories in context was crazy. I got in a lot of trouble saying things similar to this post.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
Ah, Sunday School. I was nine. "But why did God put the tree in the garden in the first place?" The circular logic didn't help. "But that's just mean!" I protested, and then was lectured that God is not "mean." Life experiences taught me otherwise.
Load More Replies... Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
"Jesus Was An Airborne Ranger: Find Your Purpose Following the Warrior Christ" written by John McDougall, Chaplain, U.S. Army Rangers, Foreword by Stu Weber; Copyright 2015, Trade Paperback ISBN 978-1-60142-692-5, eBook ISBN 978-1-60142-693-2.
Juan Pablo Soto Jeria 2 years ago
The bible is the greatest fantasy of all time, well at least it´s my favorite movie from the Silve Era of Cinema.
BasedWang12.2 2 years ago
yooooo... This is the bible I needed as a kid to get me into any of this b******t. This dude needs to re-write
Sarah Garza-Karlin 2 years ago
I am a Bible student and he's right. The stories are crazy and you know what's even crazier, there are so many puns in the Bible... God is the author of humor... so don't ever underestimate what you read in that book. It literally can change your life.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago (edited)
You can also read older texts with the same stories, because the bible is just retellings of already-existing mythologies. Flood? Savior? Plagues? Commandments? Virgin birth? God on the mountain? Sacrificing your child? It's all in countless other texts that are thousands of years older and more directly translated than the bible. The Epic of Gilgamesh, Rig Veda, the Ebla tablets, even the Greek epics all predate the bible by centuries, even millenia, and contain all of the same lessons in different cultural iterations. So pick up some Aristotle or Lao Tse, read up on Gil and Enkidu. It can literally change your life.
Load More Replies... Mihai Mara 2 years ago
Yo! So this dude just assumed the pronouns of the dudes from the Bible? :)))) Jk
Tamra 2 years ago
You speak of arrogance on the part of those who do not believe as you do, Bill. Ironic, that the selfsame arrogance on the part of Christians throughout history, and in present day, has caused untold suffering by those who judge, abuse and subjugate those who don't believe as they do. When Christians stop forcing their beliefs and judgments upon others, they will be less judged.
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