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Writing a captivating piece takes way more than putting pen to paper. The author spends countless hours developing the plot, writing and rewriting it, crossing out hundreds of unnecessary lines, and doing the research—lots and lots of it. Some writers could work more on the two, wiping out some of the information or researching it better. Otherwise, they might end up being shamed for some of their inaccurate, unrealistic, or plain foolish lines. As these male writers depicting female characters did.

The subreddit “Men Writing Women” is dedicated, as the description suggests, to “how men who create films, books, TV, and graphic novels characterize women”. Members of the community clearly don’t shy away from sharing their finds, and we have gathered some of their best examples into this list today. If you feel like it’s too short, check out our previous pieces about “Men Writing Women” here and here.

#1

Who Doesn't Love To Bleed And Writhe In Pain Once A Month?

Who Doesn't Love To Bleed And Writhe In Pain Once A Month?

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Firstname Lastname
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If anything, I look forward to celebrating that I'm not pregnant, and then hate the other 99% of it.

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#2

Jane Goodall Should Just Go Ape S*it

Jane Goodall Should Just Go Ape S*it

Faenix_Wright Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can show you something motherly and nurturing *starts regurgitating what was food once*

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#3

“Let Them Puppies Free!”

“Let Them Puppies Free!”

ThorinSmokenshield Report

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

as a woman, me writing: "These stupid irritating blobs on my chest that swell every 28 days, hurt for 3-5, mean I need two whole different sets of bras, that do nothing all day..."

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A Jack of all trades is a master of none, they say. That rings true, as there’s hardly a person who knows the ins and outs of every subject out there. And writers are no exception; no matter how well-read they are, writing about specific topics usually requires specific knowledge, which they might not have.

Similarly, writing about certain groups of people calls for knowing what they might be like. Or the basics of their anatomy, at least, if that’s what’s important for the story. Otherwise, you might end up sounding ludicrous to those who have a better understanding of the topic, not to mention the experts.

#4

[clans Of The Alphane Moon By Philip K. Dick] How To Assert Your Dominance Over Other Women: Scare Their Nipples Off

[clans Of The Alphane Moon By Philip K. Dick] How To Assert Your Dominance Over Other Women: Scare Their Nipples Off

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Groundcontroltomajortom
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is so much wrong with this I can't even begin to.... but deburgeoned....I.... what??? You're certainly not Shakespeare mate, you can't just put a "de" in front of something to make a new word.

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#5

What Else Could A Woman Want After Coming Out Of A Coma? Beyond The Darkness (1979)

What Else Could A Woman Want After Coming Out Of A Coma? Beyond The Darkness (1979)

FreudsteinLives Report

Grammar Factory suggested a rule of thumb for doing enough research for your writing. According to them, you should analyze it enough to be able to write your first draft with no holes, without it becoming a reason to put off the writing process itself.

In his book, ‘On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft’, Steven King pointed out that even though the research shouldn’t outshine the story itself (well, unless it’s a research paper you’re working on), it’s crucial for fixing any possible errors in the story and adding some credible details.

#6

Scientology, A New Slant On Life - By L. Ron Hubbard (1965)

Scientology, A New Slant On Life - By L. Ron Hubbard (1965)

friends-waffles-work Report

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Sue From Michigan
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As if Scientology is the only misogynistic religion out there. Every major religion on this planet is male based, that's a big problem by itself.

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#7

Til That I, A Virgin, Have At Least One Kid. (Once Gone, By Blake Pierce)

Til That I, A Virgin, Have At Least One Kid. (Once Gone, By Blake Pierce)

schrodingers_cat42 Report

#8

I’d Like To Imagine This Was Done For The Male Characters As Well

I’d Like To Imagine This Was Done For The Male Characters As Well

Lwannagothere Report

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starsailor (they/he)
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Annabelle...brown eyes, E cup... Lauren...blue eyes, S cup... Katherine... hazel eyes, Z cup-OKAY WHY IS THIS GUY SO F*****G HORNY"

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In order to avoid sounding foolish, you can always turn for help to experts or outside sources that are brimming with factual information. Grammar Factory emphasized just that by suggesting using books, the internet, or expert interviews as ways of researching information for your book.

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#9

In Death, I Hope All My Friends Remember Me For My Great Rack [1q84, Haruki Murakami]

In Death, I Hope All My Friends Remember Me For My Great Rack [1q84, Haruki Murakami]

mustardleaves Report

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TheElderNom
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friend did die, I'm ashamed to admit I never mourned the loss of her breasts. But seriously what kind of garbage is this?

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#10

I’m Surprised No One Has Posted This Guy Yet?? From Jpod By Douglas Coupland

I’m Surprised No One Has Posted This Guy Yet?? From Jpod By Douglas Coupland

Picklebaby626 Report

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Rider
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I prefer my a*s kicking boots on my non makeup days, so every day.

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Unless it’s total fiction you’re writing about, fact-checking is important. Certain claims made by authors can raise disputes, or have consequences bigger than being cited in a certain subreddit. The author Lisa Bickmore pointed out that when a writer wants to use factual material, it’s also crucial they find good, quality information. Not only that, it’s vital to present it in a way that’s understandable to the reader.

#12

Women Have Useless Faces (A Happy Death By Camus)

Women Have Useless Faces (A Happy Death By Camus)

2460_one Report

#13

(Tw: Physical Violence) [nana By Zola] Zola's Nana, Or How To Stop Worrying And Learn To Love Physical Abuse

(Tw: Physical Violence) [nana By Zola] Zola's Nana, Or How To Stop Worrying And Learn To Love Physical Abuse

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#14

The Amount Misogyny In This One Was A Bit Shocking. The Lake Of The Dead By André Bjerke

The Amount Misogyny In This One Was A Bit Shocking. The Lake Of The Dead By André Bjerke

crucified_cat Report

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Michael Largey
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Misogynists are in fact more popular among the weaker sex. Women, on the other hand, don't care for them at all.

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Despite being important to the integrity of the piece, facts can be too much for some readers. Unless it’s a manual—in which case, you know what you’re getting yourself into as a reader—having to deal with an abundance of detailed information can get tiresome or even boring for the regular bookworm.

#15

Hell's Angels By Hunter S Thompson. Men In The 1960s Just Understood Women, You Know?

Hell's Angels By Hunter S Thompson. Men In The 1960s Just Understood Women, You Know?

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#16

There Are Many Different Types Of Arm Folds, I'm Glad Robert Cleared That Up For Me

There Are Many Different Types Of Arm Folds, I'm Glad Robert Cleared That Up For Me

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XenoMurph
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After a certain age, that might not be possible without a hoist. Oh c**p, did I type that out loud?

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#17

Liana Finck, Women In Literature, 2022

Liana Finck, Women In Literature, 2022

beroemd Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine a woman writing a story were male characters are minor characters only, whose pert testicles can be seen through their filmy underwear

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In order to prevent the prospect of tiring out the reader, writers often turn to a more detailed, exciting way of writing. That in itself is not a bad idea at all; however, it’s important not to go overboard with such embellishments.

Some of the examples on this list, for instance, describe certain characters in a detailed way, which is simply incorrect. That’s when facts can turn against the writer, and make them the butt of the joke at times.

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#18

Ah Yes, The Kind Of Giggles That Spill From Your Breasts. Of Course The Girl Is “Just Turned 16” As Well. (Hospital By Han Song)

Ah Yes, The Kind Of Giggles That Spill From Your Breasts. Of Course The Girl Is “Just Turned 16” As Well. (Hospital By Han Song)

Doing_Ok_Tomorrow Report

#19

That Natural Womanly Instinct To Love Cooking (Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? By Philip K Dick)

That Natural Womanly Instinct To Love Cooking (Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? By Philip K Dick)

cacti-pie Report

Other examples in the “Men Write Women” collection portray women in a way that is not factually correct, nor amusing. They are often based on stereotypes, which can be offensive to some female representatives, or emphasize certain “truths” that not a lot of them would agree to, such as the “magnificent uselessness of a woman’s face”, for instance.

#21

Lake Of The Dead By André Bjerke

Lake Of The Dead By André Bjerke

BreadstickBitch9868 Report

#22

Lots To Unpack Here [the Road Back By Erich Maria Remarque]

Lots To Unpack Here [the Road Back By Erich Maria Remarque]

LegerDomain Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, misogyny and bodyshaming all in one! And something about children being pathetic as well

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#23

I’m Sorry, What?!? The Body Keeps The Score By Bessel Van Der Kolk

I’m Sorry, What?!? The Body Keeps The Score By Bessel Van Der Kolk

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Certain views towards women in these snippets are not only displeasing but outdated as well. They often sound like something from the 19th century—the time when gender bias was so strong, some women authors chose to write under male pseudonyms. (George Eliot, who was actually Mary Ann Evans, or George Sand, a.k.a. Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin, just to name a couple.)

#24

Breast Roll By "It's Kind Of A Funny Story" By Ned Vizzini

Breast Roll By "It's Kind Of A Funny Story" By Ned Vizzini

maramara18 Report

#26

"A Fine Porch Door"... From The Stand By Stephen King

"A Fine Porch Door"... From The Stand By Stephen King

guitarguy12341 Report

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Lily Robertson
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Post Apocalyptic theme...old "God fearing woman" is definitely going to be assessing baby making potential in young women. I give this one a pass.

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#27

I Feel Christopher Pike’s Spellbound Could Fit

I Feel Christopher Pike’s Spellbound Could Fit

ravioliriveroli Report

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Abrufal
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another out of context blurb. Cindy is one of two main characters in the novel. This blurb was taken from a longer section were Cindy is flirting with a guy she thinks murdered his friend to get info. Pike is actually praised for his accurate portrayal of teenagers and writing female characters (he was a YA author from the mid 80s)

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#28

Coast To Coast Murders, James Patterson

Coast To Coast Murders, James Patterson

arrow1500 Report

#29

The Immortalists By Chloe Benjamin. A Genuinely Good Book With The Worst First Paragraph!

The Immortalists By Chloe Benjamin. A Genuinely Good Book With The Worst First Paragraph!

womanadrift Report

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#30

Go Home Everyone About To Post Stephen King. Alizee Yeezy Has Trumped All Of You

Go Home Everyone About To Post Stephen King. Alizee Yeezy Has Trumped All Of You

PrincessTutubella Report

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Lakota Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m sorry, he’s horrible simply because he MENTIONS boobs? I’m female and I’ve read every one of his books and I’ve never felt offended or that he’s sexist.

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#32

From The Pictorial 1952

From The Pictorial 1952

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#33

Because This Is What A Female Psychologist Would Think When Dealing With A Paranoid Schizophrenic Violent Patient. Domain, Steve Alten

Because This Is What A Female Psychologist Would Think When Dealing With A Paranoid Schizophrenic Violent Patient. Domain, Steve Alten

lazuethepirate Report

#34

The River Between By Ngugi Wa Thiong'o

The River Between By Ngugi Wa Thiong'o

honeypebble Report

#35

“Her Breasts Quivered With Excitement” Really??? (Sales Pitch By Philip K. Dick)

“Her Breasts Quivered With Excitement” Really??? (Sales Pitch By Philip K. Dick)

maddiroo Report

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Tina Girard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a weird tic - quivering boobs? Some kind of neurologic disorder?

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#36

Nietzsche Going At It (Beyond Good And Evil)

Nietzsche Going At It (Beyond Good And Evil)

CzLawMayer Report

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Libstak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eff of Neitzche, always knew this douche was just another overrated mysogonist like Freud.

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#37

I Hate It When I Am Unfemininely Crisp And Therefore Less Attractive Than I Could Be To My Male Coworkers. (Brain Wave, Poul Anderson)

I Hate It When I Am Unfemininely Crisp And Therefore Less Attractive Than I Could Be To My Male Coworkers. (Brain Wave, Poul Anderson)

theaveragemaryjanie Report

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#38

Many Thanks To Kobo Abe For Explaining The Female Condition In His Classic Novel ‘The Woman In The Dunes’

Many Thanks To Kobo Abe For Explaining The Female Condition In His Classic Novel ‘The Woman In The Dunes’

snuff_film Report

#39

Women As Baby Producers... (Slaughterhouse Five By Kurt Vonnegut)

Women As Baby Producers... (Slaughterhouse Five By Kurt Vonnegut)

VoldeThor Report

#40

My Friend Sent This To Me: It Starts Out Awful And Only Gets Worse. [zadie Smith, White Teeth]

My Friend Sent This To Me: It Starts Out Awful And Only Gets Worse. [zadie Smith, White Teeth]

Facetious_ly Report

#41

Chuck Palahnuik- The Invention Of Sound

Chuck Palahnuik- The Invention Of Sound

tuckedintanktops Report

#42

The High Auction By Misba (Literally The 2nd Page)

The High Auction By Misba (Literally The 2nd Page)

kwibu Report

#43

Second Reference To Her Oversized Bazungas In As Many Paragraphs - Paternus By Dyrk Ashton

Second Reference To Her Oversized Bazungas In As Many Paragraphs - Paternus By Dyrk Ashton

DrVenkman85 Report

#44

Arthur C Clarke - Rendezvous With Rama (1973). What Norton Says Here Is Really Stupid, But It Seems Like Clarke Knows This

Arthur C Clarke - Rendezvous With Rama (1973). What Norton Says Here Is Really Stupid, But It Seems Like Clarke Knows This

syntaxGarden Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I give this one a pass because it isn't really ripping on women. It is basically saying some men are idiots.

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#45

This Makes Me Prefer Men Writing About Women's Breasts (Bellevue Square By Michael Redhill)

This Makes Me Prefer Men Writing About Women's Breasts (Bellevue Square By Michael Redhill)

snufflespoop Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The slang "camel toe" I at least understand the comparison. But if your bits resemble a "tarantula" you may want to schedule a visit to your OBGYN.

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#46

Asked A Text Ai (Link In Comments) To Write A Women Written By A Man

Asked A Text Ai (Link In Comments) To Write A Women Written By A Man

WingsOfFireGeek Report

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KOTLC_Fan 🇺🇦
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

nah im concerned about two things: where all the snacks went, and HOW DOES SPIDERMAN END

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#47

"All Women Are Deeply Ashamed Of Their Periods." - Ross Anderson (Book Is Security Engineering, 2010)

"All Women Are Deeply Ashamed Of Their Periods." - Ross Anderson (Book Is Security Engineering, 2010)

fey_belle Report

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Tucker Cahooter
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course the author's actual evidence of this is non-existent. Maybe he is just projecting his embarrassment at once having to buy them on someone else's behalf

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#49

We Can Remember It For You Wholesale (Total Recall) - Philip K. Dick. Aka: Sometimes Even Your Favourite Authors Fail

We Can Remember It For You Wholesale (Total Recall) - Philip K. Dick. Aka: Sometimes Even Your Favourite Authors Fail

babalishka Report

#50

From "Carolina Moonset" By Matt Goldman. Where Did The Firehose Come From?

From "Carolina Moonset" By Matt Goldman. Where Did The Firehose Come From?

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like this one does not meet the thread subject of 'men barely understand women". This is just an author lampooning a particular type of woman who is overtly 'fake'. I've seen them IRL. Women with fake hair, fake nails, fake breast, fake tan and such to the point you wonder if you hosed off Mrs. Doubtfire you'd find Robin Williams underneath. It obviously is not describing most women but the creature being described does exist IRl.

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#51

The Waste Lands (Dark Tower III) By Stephen King

The Waste Lands (Dark Tower III) By Stephen King

AratheDyith Report

#52

It’s Not Like I Expect Much From Certain Erotic Genres, But This Was Such Classic R/Menwritingwomen It Made Me Laugh. Mahoushi Teria To Tiken Na Iraisho By Mtd

It’s Not Like I Expect Much From Certain Erotic Genres, But This Was Such Classic R/Menwritingwomen It Made Me Laugh. Mahoushi Teria To Tiken Na Iraisho By Mtd

ShreddieKirin Report

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David
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It reminds me of my youth. Long hikes in the mountains, being one with nature, shaking my 'banana' with every step.

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#53

“Cell” By Stephen King. You’re In A Zombie Apocalypse But You’re Worried About…what?

“Cell” By Stephen King. You’re In A Zombie Apocalypse But You’re Worried About…what?

VividEntrepreneur949 Report

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Susie Elle
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Again, this could be indicative of the character in the book, not the author.

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#54

Oh The Humanity! From House Of Leaves, By Mark Danielewski

Oh The Humanity! From House Of Leaves, By Mark Danielewski

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Indigocat
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How come her lips are stuffed with toilet paper from a cadaver's a*s or did I read that wrong?

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#56

‘Twitching By Numbers’ By Garry Bagnell, A Memoir Of His Anecdotes About Birdwatching, Published In This Very Year 2022. Insert Joke About Tits Here, But Seriously This Is Why Women Still Feel So Unwelcome In The Birding Community

‘Twitching By Numbers’ By Garry Bagnell, A Memoir Of His Anecdotes About Birdwatching, Published In This Very Year 2022. Insert Joke About Tits Here, But Seriously This Is Why Women Still Feel So Unwelcome In The Birding Community

ginger_lucy Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ya'll should be kinder to bird watchers. If they were any good with women they wouldn't be hiding in the bushes with binoculars. More to be pitied... and all that.

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#57

I Love This Series And I Am A Fan Of King, But 🙄🙄🙄 [the Waste Lands (Book III Of The Dark Tower Series), Stephen King]

I Love This Series And I Am A Fan Of King, But 🙄🙄🙄 [the Waste Lands (Book III Of The Dark Tower Series), Stephen King]

iamrosey Report

#58

Catch And Cradle By Katia Rose. Written By A Woman, But I Still Thought This Line Would Find A Place Here

Catch And Cradle By Katia Rose. Written By A Woman, But I Still Thought This Line Would Find A Place Here

Broadbi Report

#59

One Mention Of “Undulating Breasts” In A Book Is One Too Many [satan: His Psychotherapy And Cure By The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.s.p.s. By Jeremy Leven]

One Mention Of “Undulating Breasts” In A Book Is One Too Many [satan: His Psychotherapy And Cure By The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.s.p.s. By Jeremy Leven]

aragorn-son-of Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I looked up the definition and TBH I have seen undulating breasts many times. Though I can't say I was "disquieted by their turbulence" DEF: "having a smoothly rising and falling form or outline."

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#60

This Is How I Plan To Introduce Myself From Now On

This Is How I Plan To Introduce Myself From Now On

bababanana20123 Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Context matters for this one. It's been a long time since I read the book but IIRC she was a goddess with three forms - the young maiden, the middle age, the old lady. Zane had met her before but called her by the wrong name and she was explaining that ATM she was not that persona, she was the middle aged one. In the context of the book it made sense. "(Greek mythology) One of the three Fates (Moirae), daughter of Zeus and Themis; the measurer of each thread of life. Her Roman equivalent is Decima. "

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#61

Apparently The Protagonist Got All Of Her Talent From Her Dad, But Her Mother Gave Her Was 'Pluck' And "Tangerine Breast," From Tom Robbins' Skinny Legs And All

Apparently The Protagonist Got All Of Her Talent From Her Dad, But Her Mother Gave Her Was 'Pluck' And "Tangerine Breast," From Tom Robbins' Skinny Legs And All

Prosymnos Report

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#62

“They Are Overwhelmed With Thinking And Doing…”

“They Are Overwhelmed With Thinking And Doing…”

EastPersonality6 Report

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Tucker Cahooter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another Andrew Tate disciple by the sounds of it. He runs a dating workshop too. I had a look at it and it has things like this (actual quotes): "This is for the woman that YEARNS to feel chosen, protected, safe, and cherished by a strong masculine man." and "This is for the man who wants to claim a woman who is soft, sensual, playful, and receptive to his gifts."

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#63

Coma By Robin Cook

Coma By Robin Cook

CrypticC62 Report

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Awkward lady
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, I m always staring at my naked body in any mirror, I could have been a (clog) dancer...

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#64

Boobs Ahoy! The Heart Of Man-Jin Kalman Stefansson

Boobs Ahoy! The Heart Of Man-Jin Kalman Stefansson

Mapi_Birthday Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Arrrr! Ye matey! You need a fast ship indeed to outrun those pursuing breasts. A faithful parrot on your shoulder to peck at them will only slow them down a bit and probably just p**s them off.

#65

[heretics Of Dune By Frank Herbert] I Wonder How One Would Master The Three Hundred Steps Of Orgasmic Amplification

[heretics Of Dune By Frank Herbert] I Wonder How One Would Master The Three Hundred Steps Of Orgasmic Amplification

aoi4eg Report

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Abrufal
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This isn't fair if you actually know dune This is a conversion with an Imprinter. They were agents of a faction known as The Sisterhood. Imprinters were genetically altered women that used sex as a way to make men absolutely devoted to them (imprinting) so they could control them and further their own interest. Could be viewed as misogynistic or empowerment I suppose.

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#66

Thomas Jefferson To William Fleming, March 20, 1764, "11. O’clock At Night," Papers, 1:16

Thomas Jefferson To William Fleming, March 20, 1764, "11. O’clock At Night," Papers, 1:16

HumbleCamel9022 Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

SO true! No woman ever wore a ribbon or bracelet for her own pleasure. The only possible reason is their desire to please men. /S

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#67

From “A Cornucopia Of Dunderheads” By John Kennedy Toole, Jr

From “A Cornucopia Of Dunderheads” By John Kennedy Toole, Jr

PhantomDMR Report

#68

Her Breasts Did What? The Cloud Sculptor Of Coral -D, By J.g.ballard

Her Breasts Did What? The Cloud Sculptor Of Coral -D, By J.g.ballard

healta Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girl 1 "MELONS!" Girl 2 "Tangerines!" Girl 3 "Coconuts!" Girl 4 "Torpedoes!" Girl 5 "EAGER SNAKES!" Girls 1-4 "Say WHAT?!"

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#69

I Know This Is More Men Designing Women, But The Costume For The First Female Version Of Spider-Man Is… Something

I Know This Is More Men Designing Women, But The Costume For The First Female Version Of Spider-Man Is… Something

Aden-Wrked Report

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EJBWritesBooks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How does the hood work? Is it attached to her cleavage? Or is she wearing a skinsuit over a spider-man outfit?

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#70

[six Feet Under Par By Brent Norwalk/The Good Place By Micheal Schur] Found This Gem On The Wiki

[six Feet Under Par By Brent Norwalk/The Good Place By Micheal Schur] Found This Gem On The Wiki

La_knavo4 Report

#71

From The Rising Tide By Sam Lloyd. Anyone Got That Seal Skin Routine?

From The Rising Tide By Sam Lloyd. Anyone Got That Seal Skin Routine?

coralie_ann Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stop associating stretch marks with pregnancy! Many people have them without ever being pregnant. I was pregnant once and have no stretch marks to show for it (the only reminder being that huge c-section scar). It all depends on your genes and how weak or strong your connective tissue is

#72

What's That Going By? Just A Pair Of Legs. [the Bat By Jo Nesbø]

What's That Going By? Just A Pair Of Legs. [the Bat By Jo Nesbø]

Optimet Report

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ColorEd
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just read the sentence after the higlighted one to make some sense. This is very nitpicky.

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#73

“Something Wicked This Way Comes” By Ray Bradbury. This Is A Lot Less Sinister Than Some Other Posts Here But Still! I Guess Only Men Get Existential Dread At 3 Am

“Something Wicked This Way Comes” By Ray Bradbury. This Is A Lot Less Sinister Than Some Other Posts Here But Still! I Guess Only Men Get Existential Dread At 3 Am

lespirite Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear Charles, the trains run at 3 AM because those hours have the least amount of vehicle traffic to be held up waiting for trains to go past crossings. It's a logistics thing. The women and babes are asleep at 3 AM because they were up at 11 PM, 2 AM and will be up again around 5 or 6 AM. Let them try to get some sleep.

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#74

Stephen King - The Shining

Stephen King - The Shining

taisynn Report

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Susie Elle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest, he's describing a walking corpse, and I can imagine how undead breasts could look like ancient punching bags.

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#75

Because Daughters Flirt With Their Fathers From Birth (Last Orders By Graham Swift)

Because Daughters Flirt With Their Fathers From Birth (Last Orders By Graham Swift)

sweetladymary Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is at least the second entry with 'flirt'. TBF, flirting is not always sexual. In fact deinition it is not serious. I knew a little girl (she is a grandmother now) who absolutely did flirt with her dad even though she had no idea what sex was. Or another way to say it might be 'turning on the charm'. But when she wanted dad to say yes to something she would act all nice and bat her eyes and such. It was so obvious it was comical. I have known the family since before she was born and there was absolutely never anything sexual between them. In fact the dad is rather straight laced / shy / introvert. We laugh about it now and she admits she did it. I have no idea where she picked it up. EDIT: She reminded me a bit of Flower in the Bambi movie.

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#76

Is This Really The Best Description He Could Come Up With? (The Crimson Petal And The White By Michael Farber)

Is This Really The Best Description He Could Come Up With? (The Crimson Petal And The White By Michael Farber)

meegsbear Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL "Honey, what do you think of my new lipstick?" "It makes your mouth look like a tiny pink vulva." "Sooo... vertical and rather like an alien mouth?" "Yeah".

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#77

Will Haunt You By Brian Kirk. It Will Haunt You 🤢

Will Haunt You By Brian Kirk. It Will Haunt You 🤢

gufflyr Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now I'm imagining a cat batting at them to watch them "sproing" some more.

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#78

Absolute Fanasty (American Gods - Neil Gaiman)

Absolute Fanasty (American Gods - Neil Gaiman)

District_Dan Report

#79

From The Duel, A Short Story By Kaiko Takeshi

From The Duel, A Short Story By Kaiko Takeshi

lockemerigold Report

#80

Interesting… (Feed, M.t Anderson)

Interesting… (Feed, M.t Anderson)

_One_In_Lemillion_ Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Slightly better than that slapping dude who expected his woman to be spineless.

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#81

Men Writing… String Orchestra Instruments? (Setup And Repair Of The Double Bass For Optimum Sound By Chuck Traeger)

Men Writing… String Orchestra Instruments? (Setup And Repair Of The Double Bass For Optimum Sound By Chuck Traeger)

WarmBean22 Report

#82

Prodigious Jugs [dreamcatcher By Stephen King]

Prodigious Jugs [dreamcatcher By Stephen King]

pinballwitch420 Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Describing the suspect to the detective - "What about her hair?" "Oh, I have no idea. But I do recall she had huge gazongas. And a coat, I think. There was a coat blocking my view of her watermelons."

#83

Describing A Woman That Looks Good For “Breeding”, And Another Woman That Looks Like A Pastry, In The Same Paragraph - “Darkfall” By Dean Koontz

Describing A Woman That Looks Good For “Breeding”, And Another Woman That Looks Like A Pastry, In The Same Paragraph - “Darkfall” By Dean Koontz

tresdelache Report

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BatPhace
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the "breeding" in this case is actually referencing the person's own genetics, not "breeding her". That's only a little better, if at all though

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#84

Considering How Many Girls Fall In Love With Horses At Age 6-8, This Creeps Me Out Bigly (The Diana Chronicles By Tina Brown)

Considering How Many Girls Fall In Love With Horses At Age 6-8, This Creeps Me Out Bigly (The Diana Chronicles By Tina Brown)

wingthing666 Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another take - the onset of puberty is roughly the age when you are old enough to go ride a horse by yourself.

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#85

Male Author Who Doesn't Understand Women Assumes Men Are Just Incapable Of Understanding Women [fulgrim, Graham Mcneill]

Male Author Who Doesn't Understand Women Assumes Men Are Just Incapable Of Understanding Women [fulgrim, Graham Mcneill]

May_nerdd Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am so tired of the cliches about men can't understand women or babies. And only TV chefs and master wizards can walk into a kitchen and cook food.

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#86

Investigator Arrives At The Crime Scene Where A Woman Has Been Murdered And Begins To Imagine Her With Her Killer [i Am Pilgrim By Terry Hayes]

Investigator Arrives At The Crime Scene Where A Woman Has Been Murdered And Begins To Imagine Her With Her Killer [i Am Pilgrim By Terry Hayes]

Cats_of_Freya Report

#87

The Shape Of Water - Andrea Camilleri

The Shape Of Water - Andrea Camilleri

Cevinkrayon Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That made me remember that scene in Star Wars in the trash compactor where that eye stalk pops up out of the water and looks around. Except now it's a nipple apparently. I'm pretty sure "miniscule panties" is what you call thongs when you are getting paid by the word.

#88

I Wonder If The Author Ever Actually Talked To A Woman

I Wonder If The Author Ever Actually Talked To A Woman

Eviajenkins Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've seen similar things in a lot of trashy manga. Incel Otaku cliché ✅️check

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#89

This Man Need His Book Publishing Rights Taken Away

This Man Need His Book Publishing Rights Taken Away

CalicoKaleDragon Report

#90

For The Lactose Intolerant Reader

For The Lactose Intolerant Reader

zaccharybird Report

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Tucker Cahooter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He authors vegan cookbooks so I don't know if he is just taking the p*ss or if he really is obsessed with vegan cheese

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#91

Dear Juliet: Letters From The Lovestruck And Lovelorn To Shakespeare's Juliet In Verona - Giulio Tamassia

Dear Juliet: Letters From The Lovestruck And Lovelorn To Shakespeare's Juliet In Verona - Giulio Tamassia

iHateCatelynTully Report

#92

She’s Exhausted After Work, But Because She Senses Hubby Wants Sex, She Does Too. The Consultant By Bentley Little

She’s Exhausted After Work, But Because She Senses Hubby Wants Sex, She Does Too. The Consultant By Bentley Little

RangerWinter9719 Report

#93

To Contrast The Other Post About Nausicaa, Here's Hayao Miyazaki Discussing His Thoughts About Her Chest

To Contrast The Other Post About Nausicaa, Here's Hayao Miyazaki Discussing His Thoughts About Her Chest

Rodbe Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have seen the movie several times. Never thought of her breasts as large. Just googled still pics and there are a few where she looks a bit like a woman with larger breasts who dresses to minimize. In other scenes she does not look large at all IMO. But if you have never seen the movie, she is perhaps 'large' for Japanese but in no way is she a "Jessica Rabbit" kind of figure. For the most part, the only large breasts in Ghibli movies are the "old lady" characters. Granny/witch in Spirited Away and so on. Ghibli movies are about empowering women, not sexualizing them.

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#94

All Of This About Someone Else’s Wife 💀 (The Sympathizer By Viet Thanh Nguyen)

All Of This About Someone Else’s Wife 💀 (The Sympathizer By Viet Thanh Nguyen)

gugam99 Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'He had a mind like a To-Do list, the spine of a daycare worker and the body of a high-school quarterback even after fathering 5 children.' Yeah, sounds ridiculous all right

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#95

The Croaning By Laird Barron. Ps: Anthropologists Dont Cry

The Croaning By Laird Barron. Ps: Anthropologists Dont Cry

aschwann Report

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Shyla Bouche
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, that's not true. Take an anthropologist to see a really sad movie, they're going to cry-- especially if the dog dies. Everybody cries at a really sad movie if the dog dies.

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#96

[the Warlock In Spite Of Himself -- Christopher Stasheff] The 28 Year Old Mc's "Dream" Girl. Her Age Is Unclear But She's Been Described As Child-Like More Than Once. Eesh

[the Warlock In Spite Of Himself -- Christopher Stasheff] The 28 Year Old Mc's "Dream" Girl. Her Age Is Unclear But She's Been Described As Child-Like More Than Once. Eesh

dazzling_penguin Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stereotype dudes sitting around drinking beer, describing their perfect woman. "Melons!" "Legs up to here!" "Kitten hips!"

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#97

I Burst Out Laughing At "Inching Breastward" [the Boatman's Daughter By Andy Davidson]

I Burst Out Laughing At "Inching Breastward" [the Boatman's Daughter By Andy Davidson]

lady___eve Report

#98

"Childlike" -James Herbert, The Survivor. 😭🤮

"Childlike" -James Herbert, The Survivor. 😭🤮

EnthusiasmFuture Report

#99

Good Eve, Fair Females! After Reading That Sesquipedalianism Is Arousing, I Ask That You Please Form An Orderly Queue Instead Of Throwing Yourselves At Me. Perchance. (*a Dark Matter* By Peter Straub)

Good Eve, Fair Females! After Reading That Sesquipedalianism Is Arousing, I Ask That You Please Form An Orderly Queue Instead Of Throwing Yourselves At Me. Perchance. (*a Dark Matter* By Peter Straub)

actibus_consequatur Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hi, my name is Hootie and these are my Blowfish. Would you like to hear us say some big words?

#100

Absolute Power By David Baldacci

Absolute Power By David Baldacci

pastychan24 Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah damn, I accidentally released my breasts again and poured them on the street

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#101

Always About The Breasts. Home By Harlan Coben

Always About The Breasts. Home By Harlan Coben

simmertoreduce Report

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#102

Sister Talks About Her Brother’s Physique For Way Too Many Sentences, Arthur C Clarke In Songs Of Distant Earth

Sister Talks About Her Brother’s Physique For Way Too Many Sentences, Arthur C Clarke In Songs Of Distant Earth

snarkylinguist Report

#103

Wow Sounds Pretty Accurate (Naked By David Sedaris)

Wow Sounds Pretty Accurate (Naked By David Sedaris)

chimirhye Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is actually very accurate for some women of a certain age. My step mom was visiting my grandmother (pa-ma) in the rest home. She noticed something in her lap. She finally realized grandma didn't have a bra on and the something was the end of her breast protruding out under the bottom of her shirt. So yeah... orange in a windsock about nailed it.

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#104

Possession By A. S. Byatt - Watch Out, The Mean Feminists Boo Women With Nice Hair!

Possession By A. S. Byatt - Watch Out, The Mean Feminists Boo Women With Nice Hair!

ohioana Report

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#105

Almost Black By Vijay Chokalingam😟

Almost Black By Vijay Chokalingam😟

rvnlx789 Report

#106

Men Emojiing Women

Men Emojiing Women

aknomnoms Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, I always invite my three gay friends to party and celebrate I'm finally rid of an a*****e 🍾🍻

#107

Ok I've Been Really Enjoying Finally Reading Initial D But What The F**k Is This

Ok I've Been Really Enjoying Finally Reading Initial D But What The F**k Is This

Orion-- Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Typical manga plot. Kind of like 'why's there hay laying on the ground?'

#108

I Think She Could've Grabbed The Fallen Soldier's Camo Or Vest. Cold Wouldn't Bother Her, But Bullets Would, Regardless How Durable She Is. [project Hyperion, Jeremy Robinson]

I Think She Could've Grabbed The Fallen Soldier's Camo Or Vest. Cold Wouldn't Bother Her, But Bullets Would, Regardless How Durable She Is. [project Hyperion, Jeremy Robinson]

Cryogisdead Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Going out in all but your bra and panties in Russia seems like a good idea

#109

Totally Normal Assumption To Make... [gauss: Titan Of Science By G. Waldo Dunnington]

Totally Normal Assumption To Make... [gauss: Titan Of Science By G. Waldo Dunnington]

NewYorkMetsalhead Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't know I could cure my introversion by 'adjusting' myself sexually. Cool

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#110

Philip K. Dick Posthumously Published Work Gather Yourselves Together

Philip K. Dick Posthumously Published Work Gather Yourselves Together

onzie9 Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uncertain of my own swimming ability I cautiously stepped part way into the pool, the water humping my leg like an untrained dog. Come on in she said. Once you get used to it the water is more like horny cats.

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#111

[mating Males An Evolutionary Perspective On Mammalian Reproduction By Tim Glover] From What He Has Heard From Many Ladies

[mating Males An Evolutionary Perspective On Mammalian Reproduction By Tim Glover] From What He Has Heard From Many Ladies

gamerlololdude Report

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C.M.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly I would call this men writing men. Muscular, well-shaped buttocks?

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#112

The Stepford Wives, Ira Levin

The Stepford Wives, Ira Levin

Dull_Title_3902 Report

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#113

A Necessary Detail (Peach Blossom Paradise By Ge Fei)

A Necessary Detail (Peach Blossom Paradise By Ge Fei)

apollo_____ Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate it when that happens *sighs and proceeds to collect the breasts from all directions again*

#114

Sightseeing By Rattawut Lapcharoensap

Sightseeing By Rattawut Lapcharoensap

Uselesscrabb Report

#115

Paulo Coelho's 'The Alchemist' - Half Way Through And I'm Not Sure It'll Pass The Bechdel Test

Paulo Coelho's 'The Alchemist' - Half Way Through And I'm Not Sure It'll Pass The Bechdel Test

chickles88 Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I must ride my camel to go get a pack of smokes but like Arnold I'll be back

#116

"Sturdy Nipples" In The Erstwhile By B. Catling

"Sturdy Nipples" In The Erstwhile By B. Catling

cosmicmangobear Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amish men chatting by the fire: "She's a good woman then? Your Martha?" "Oh yeah, she's got real sturdy nipples and she keeps them covered with layers of wool."

#117

Just As I Suspected- No Woman Came Up With “Lovely Lady Lumps”

Just As I Suspected- No Woman Came Up With “Lovely Lady Lumps”

PhoneJazz Report

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#118

Exerpt From Champion Of Luck By Charles Kirkman: A Harem Comedy Based On Japanese Mythology, Anime, And Videogames

Exerpt From Champion Of Luck By Charles Kirkman: A Harem Comedy Based On Japanese Mythology, Anime, And Videogames

GrapefruitFew3802 Report

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#119

This Is The Main Character Mitchell Talking About His Nine Year Old Daughter. I'm Concerned. (Me And Mrs. Jones By Linda Cajio)

This Is The Main Character Mitchell Talking About His Nine Year Old Daughter. I'm Concerned. (Me And Mrs. Jones By Linda Cajio)

AdelaideTheBunn Report

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David
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pro tip from a grandparent: If your child's arms are not becoming defined until they hit puberty, you waited too long to take them to a specialist.

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#120

I Don't Think That's Quite What "Glowing" Means... From "Little Bee" By Chris Cleave

I Don't Think That's Quite What "Glowing" Means... From "Little Bee" By Chris Cleave

Taylorenokson Report

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Feathered Dinosaur
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No woman in her right mind would try to conceal her glowing skin with foundation. Hell, I'd be skipping with joy if my skin did something like that

#121

*sigh* She Even Repeats It (Super Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair)

*sigh* She Even Repeats It (Super Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair)

RohansEarings Report

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Jennifer .S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For context, this is only one frame of a full conversation. The full conversation continues: girl: I wonder if that's possible. Two of us are girls. *door opens after they push it* boy: it opened! girl: yeah, even with two girls here.

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#122

Killing Commendatore By Murakami Again… 12yos Do Not Ask Older Men About This…

Killing Commendatore By Murakami Again… 12yos Do Not Ask Older Men About This…

Careless-Detective79 Report

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#123

Too Horny To Think About The Aftermath Of 9/11 (Iain Banks - Dead Air)

Too Horny To Think About The Aftermath Of 9/11 (Iain Banks - Dead Air)

bowlerhatbear Report

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#124

[angels & Demons By Dan Brown] He Almost Got Through The Whole Descriptor Paragraph Without Mentioning Breasts

[angels & Demons By Dan Brown] He Almost Got Through The Whole Descriptor Paragraph Without Mentioning Breasts

NocaedKralc Report

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#125

The Ice Twins By S. K. Tremayne. Did Not Realize The Author Was A Man Until I Made It To The End Of The First Page

The Ice Twins By S. K. Tremayne. Did Not Realize The Author Was A Man Until I Made It To The End Of The First Page

CatchYouInTheRye Report

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#126

If Any Of You Women Are Having Trouble Measuring Your Womanly Feelings

If Any Of You Women Are Having Trouble Measuring Your Womanly Feelings

cantspellrestaraunt Report

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