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Men Share ‘What Did You Not Know Or Realize Until After Living With A Woman?’: And Here’re 40 Of The Top Answers
We're learning all our lives. But some things and experiences teach us more than others.
A month ago, Reddit user Artudetan posted a question on r/AskMen that read, "What did you not know or realize until after living with a woman?" Turns out, a lot!
From "the good bra" to doing the dishes, the post has already received over 14,000 answers and judging from them, getting a roommate can be quite educational!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Fine, I'll say it.
I always thought that pads operated like Band-aids and they'd just slap em over their vaginas and absorb everything. It wasn't until I was... 27? When my girlfriend at the time had some as a backup in case she ran out of tampons and I opened it and looked. The adhesive was on the wrong side for my version of how they worked, and it dawned on me that they're supposed to be stuck to their panties, not their vaginas. I only regret telling her of that revelation, because she laughed until she cried and then called her mom to tell her about it.
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#2
When you’re having a really tough day, she unexpectedly comes home and surprises you with a bottle of your favorite drink, homemade cookies and a dinner you love. And then she cuddles with you while you vent about your now not so crappy day. And you realize what it’s like to actually have someone support you.
And you find yourself wanting to make sure the toilet seat is down, smiling when you can never find anything in the kitchen, rolling with it when the living room turns into a 12 stage laundry OCD deployment zone, and you laugh when you trip over her shoes that are now tangled in a knot of hair bigger than the dog.
Because your house/apartment is no longer a place you live at, it’s now your home. And it’s safe to be the real you, not the show you put on when you were dating.
#3
That she owns only one truly GOOD BRA. There is only one and part of your duty as a man is to protect The Good Bra. If you are doing laundry, you must take the greatest of precautions to make sure it is properly cleaned, dried, and stored. God forbid The Good Bra ever turn up missing or in the wrong drawer.
Ladies, why is there only one GOOD BRA?
Daria B 3 years ago (edited)
Yes. Yes, there is. The one and only! ♡ Because, a product, to be mass-produced, it needs to be built within certain norms and patterns, but each woman has different breasts. As a result, it's difficult to find the perfect one, but once you do find it, it becomes precioussssss. Not to mention, these things aren't cheap either. (Waiting for replies of the ladies whose boobs need no support. Respect to you, sisters, but see... just because I don't need braces, I'm not protesting against the dentist industry.)
#4
I was raised by a woman, so none of it was new to me, except:
Period Panties.
I wasn't shocked or disgusted by it because I wasn't a 12-year-old; it was just like, "Huh. Yeah, I guess I'd have a separate selection of underwear to use when I'm menstruating, too. Why the Hell would I ruin all of my sexy underwear?".
#5
I learned that bathroom can smell like soap and flowers and coconut instead of like pee.
#6
Apparently showering and washing your hair are separate events.
#7
If you leave something on the kitchen counter, it will get put/thrown away. If she leaves something on the kitchen counter, that's where it goes now.
#9
Pockets are very rare for women's pants. Several years married and still shocked by this.
Thomas Price 3 years ago
I didn’t realise this until my now wife showed me the pockets she had in her wedding dress. She was so excited.
#10
What home feels like.
#11
When you’re done showering, you’re supposed to stay on the bath mat while you dry off, not walk around the apartment
#13
Apparently, cleaning the toilet on the regular is much, much more important than I'd previously thought.
#15
How nice house plants are. Now I have all kinds of plants and my place feels so much more nice and relaxing.
#17
If they leave stuff at the bottom of the stairs, that means you’re supposed to bring it up. If it’s at the top of the stairs, you should bring it down. Also, the correct place for objects in the kitchen is where they currently reside. Stuff is gonna move around constantly, just roll with it.
Linda van der Pal 3 years ago
I do leave stuff on the stairs, but that's for whoever goes up first to bring along (and yes, that definitely includes myself)
#18
They have a really weird obsession with glass containers or jars.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago
Mine obsession can be any kind of storage including shoe boxes, takeaway containers etc.
#19
Hair ties actually disappear faster than MIA socks. Until you find 20 in a kitchen drawer.
#20
No matter how many bobby pins are in the house, there is always a need for more.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
And hairties.buy a pack and you'll have heaps for a few weeks, then back to one somehow.
#21
Women are both simultaneously messier and cleaner than men. It’s bizarre how messy rooms can get with them and how quickly they can turn it around and make it clean!
#22
One corner of the shower will become a "graveyard" for bottles of shampoo, conditioner, all sorts of stuff.
#23
An innocent cleaning excursion in the right circumstances will lead to a full-on reorganization of all the dang furniture in the house, if you're not careful.
#24
The hair that gets stuck in the shower drain. OMG.
#25
You find out the amount of food that a refrigerator can really hold.
#28
I never realised that she'd start wearing my clothes. T-shirts, sweaters, not even my damn underwear is mine any more!
#30
I load the dishwasher so inefficiently, I'm no longer allowed to load it at all.
Sophie Greeff 3 years ago
Girl here I'm not allowed to load the dishwasher as i do it wrong husband is in charge
#31
I have freaked out too many times at what I thought was a 52-legged spider clinging to my bathroom wall.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
You do this so you don't need to unclog your shower weekly. But you don't leave it on the wall, it should be binned before you leave the bathroom
Charlie Anderson 3 years ago
Are you a girl? Hair gets stuck in the drain, if you don't want it to get stuck, put it on the wall and clean it off after. If you forget, you forget.
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GFSTaylor 3 years ago
I got out of the shower, put my glasses on, and freaked at the long-legged spider in the corner of the stall. Then realised that of course it was a clump of hair that looked like a spider. Then looked again and realised it really was a spider that had been sharing the shower with me. Now dead.
Bama Belle 3 years ago
Maybe it's because I have a hair catch on my drain, but I'm a woman and I didn't know sticking hair to shower walls was a thing. I have put hair on the edge of the tub but I always throw it away as soon as I get out.
Mama Panda 3 years ago
I have super long hair and do this every time I shower. When I am done in the shower, I swirl it all up and toss in the trash can. I would be so embarrassed to leave it like this as that is not only scary looking, it's unsanitary too. Leaving it is just as bad as when men leave their shaven whiskers/stubble all over the bathroom sink!
Mean Red B 3 years ago
Whats with that? I have waist long hair and I use a drain strainer. How hard can that be? Pick your hair and throw away? Geez.
Madadh Sweeney 3 years ago
F*** me, I'm the one that does this in my house. My wife is always in my -ish for the hair on the wall "every goddamned morning!"
Katelyn 3 years ago
Mmhnm same then while in the shower you trace it through the lines on the wall and make a maze (no...just me??)
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Shelli Aderman 3 years ago
I have long hair, and I’d NEVER leave that nastiness about for ANYONE to see! 🙄
Clearly sunny 3 years ago
My son used to ask me if I'm stressed because my hair was falling out!!🤣🤣🤣
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Make sure you have a shower head that’s detachable, plus a hair catcher on your shower drain. That way, you can both rinse the shower stall—-including the walls—-after using it, let everything flow to the drain, then clean the hair catcher. Problem so.bed
SuperChicken 3 years ago
Why not put the trash bin just outside of the shower to put the hair in? That's what I do, that way it's already in the trash even before I'm done.
Debbie Burton 2 years ago
I do this.... single now so no rush to get rid of it straight away ...hahahahaha
Randy Klefbeck 3 years ago
Squeegee to the newly invented Insinkerator in the shower drain (patent pending).
Gabunya Matata 3 years ago
who leaves them *on the wall* wow... it takes so little to wash them to the drain and then pick them up from it and throw them in the toilet
Christina Landers 3 years ago
The hair catcher in my drain is always empty. My hairbrush, on the other hand, gets so much hair i sometimes check for a bald spot
pamela nichols 3 years ago
that's a lot of hair to be shedding. She needs to see about that. I always clean my drains when I'm done.
Jaybird3939 3 years ago
Sarcasm font: It's all the fault of the guys. Don't they all love women with long hair?
Violet Smith 3 years ago
You think that's gross? (It is) I had a female roommate who would hawk a green loogie into the hair-catcher drain thing whilst showering, and just leave it there....
Violet Smith 3 years ago
That is disgusting and not normal. How the hell does it even get onto the WALL.? Is she leaning up against it just relaxing?
Margot Artner 3 years ago
Not even during my chemo did I lose that many. I did afterwards, for the last 15 years, even clogged up the whole piping in the wall. I now have protection in both the bathtub and basin. Only a few months ago, my persistence paid off: I have acquired a side-effect of the interferon that changes your whole DNA. Hope I´m spared of the side-effects of my present medication! Domino effect ....
Cheri Aline Sydney 3 years ago
This is why I have always said "the key to a happy marriage/relationship is never share a closet or a bathroom"...
Michelle Brandt 3 years ago
I clean off whatever hair has accumulated after my shower every time. I don't just let it sit there, that's gross.
Oskar vanZandt 3 years ago
I'd appreciate the person leaving the tresses behind taking a moment or two to collect them and put them in the bin...
#32
That there can never be enough throws/blankets/cushions.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago
Yes there can. I am not a fan of throws and cushions. Not my thing.
#33
That moisturizer goes on the body too.
Dark Pigeon 3 years ago
Well yes, the lotion or moisturizer goes on the skin. Or you get the hoze again
#34
Strange new foods will appear in the cupboard and the fridge. This is actually good, you will get to try new things.
#35
The wardrobe in your bedroom that you agreed to share 50/50? Just like the bathroom, in a few years it will be 90/10.
#36
There is an incorrect place for hand soap on the sink.
#37
No matter how much you vacuum or sweep the floor, there will ALWAYS be hair in the floor.
#38
To get rid of bangs you don't just cut them off.
#39
When long, loose head hairs wash off in the shower, it's common practice to stick them to the wall rather than let them collect in the drain.
If she forgets to remove them afterwards, it can be very confusing for the next person in the shower. Why are there a bunch of individual strands of hair deliberately stuck to the wall?
#40
They're not nearly as neat and tidy as they want you to believe.
What do you think ?
Veronica Mars 3 years ago
Some of these are kinda gender stereotypes... Not all women wear inches of makeup or are clean freaks... Also some of these are just usual relationship things not specifically female. I know plenty of guys who use more products than me everyone has their own ways of doing things regardless of gender.
Mimi M 3 years ago
Just came to say the same. A lot of this was not male-female, but just people stuff.
Load More Replies...
Brendan 3 years ago
I must confess that, before I moved in with my wife (then- girlfriend), I thought that women wore matching bras and nickers (panties), like in the lingerie ads. But, thinking about it, I don't match my socks with my boxer shorts.
Jessica Aubé 3 years ago
The generalized sexist remarks here about woman are gross .. do better bored panda .. woman do not fit in a box .. we are unique people
K O 3 years ago
It is not sexist for people to relate their experiences in life. Try understanding the article next time
Load More Replies...
Aahzmandus Pervect 3 years ago
As a man with long hair, I just laugh at all the comments about hairs everywhere, because they are usually mine. Or I just notice them because they are gray and my wife's are not. I really don't know.
Sleazy Weaver 3 years ago
Aww, that's so sweet of her! Your wife is definitely a keeper. What a kind person!
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blugeagua 3 years ago
Just a reminder that just because you live with a woman that doesn't mean that's an indication of what all women do. We're still not a monolith. We're individual humans just like men are and no two women will be the same.
Bob Bobbins 3 years ago
Yeah, but the thing is that most stereotypes have a basis in truth. Enough women do these things that a large number of men have noticed them on a large scale. Therefore while there are exceptions, these are true in general.
Load More Replies...
Marianne 3 years ago
Judging from many of these posts, there are so many women who rule that their partners do stuff "wrong" just because they do it differently. Please be considerate! Often, there is more than one good way to do something.
Sleazy Weaver 3 years ago
As long as the task gets done, there's no right or wrong way. Some ways may be more efficient, but if the end result is the same it doesn't really matter how you get there! :)
Load More Replies... ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago
In the articles where men are idiots everyone agrees.In articles where women do something different everyone rants about stereotypes
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Aside from the "women are all like this" implication, what about the "men apparently never know anything about women" implication? Maybe "neat freaks vs slobs", but not really gender. You should see how my hubby gets about his concert t-shirts! Forget the "good bra"! Do not touch his concert t-shirts! See? It's just people being people.
Cupcake168 3 years ago (edited)
I really love this thread! I’m living on my own (is that said right when you live alone?) and I almost forgot how lovely it was sharing a home. So heartwarming, even the discussions!
The Chosen One 3 years ago
All the hair-related ones are true for anyone with long hair, not just girls
Totally legit 3 years ago
Very relatable, I've lived with men and women and there are definitely some things that differ. But preferences regarding cleaning etc are individual...
Amanda Simmons 10 months ago
As a wife of 20 years....yesssss I definately do all these things😁....I laughed at almost all of them...
Paul Claxton 2 years ago
I I have 1 wife 3 daughters all with long hair, cleaning the shower trap every month was a must. Fortunately they didn't stick hair to the shower wall which is a bit gross, weirdly enough.
Sam Chopra 3 years ago
I don't really understand #12, I'm pretty sure we're humans too. What'd you expect, we suppress farts? Unless this is satire, in which case please don't get mad at me lol
Elizabeth Chandler 3 years ago
To the gentleman who asked why women only own one good bra is because a good bra that is well made, fits properly and is comfortable is EXPENSIVE and they only get more so the bigger a woman's boobs are. Another reason is the life expectancy of a bra. A cheap bra will only last anywhere from 2-6 months with regular wear(depending on bra size, brand/style, how often its washed); whereas a good bra will last anywhere from 12-18 months with the same amount of wear(though the life expectancy of a good bra is nothing compared to a good quality corset which can last anywhere from 5-10 YEARS with proper care).
Treessimontrees 3 years ago
I put everything I can snack size in old candle jars. I can't seem to handle throwing them away, and it looks nice.
steven 3 years ago
my wife is the queen of the dishwasher. I have given up any attempt of trying to load it correctly. My sons have inherited the dishwasher loading gene. Sometimes family dinners degenerate into mockery of us lesser types missing the dishwasher loading gene. Apparently proper placement of cutlery is important.
Rens 3 years ago
My hair gets EVERYWHERE, I have Fibromyalgia so my hair constantly falls out. I always have a massive ball of hair after I wash it. I do my best not to leave it all over the shower. However, I can't do much about what gets on the carpets. Regular vacuuming still yields masses of my hair.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Dunno why you were downvoted, I too shed hair like mad, it seems impossible that I can produce so much!
Load More Replies...
Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 3 years ago
I think I'm meeting the wrong women... I've never had a tidy GF; I'm always the one being a**l about keeping everything tidy XD
Jon S. 3 years ago
Three things that surprised me: 1) How shitty women's shoes are. Honestly if my shoes give me blisters after the first day I wear them, they are defective and I'm getting my money back. My wife (and pretty much every woman I know) accepts this as normal. 2&3) That apparently smell and colour matter. I'm happy living in a beige home with no artificial smells, but that's just not civilized anymore (I don't mind the colour, but I find all the fragrances in women's products actually offensive to my nose).
Veronica Mars 3 years ago
Some of these are kinda gender stereotypes... Not all women wear inches of makeup or are clean freaks... Also some of these are just usual relationship things not specifically female. I know plenty of guys who use more products than me everyone has their own ways of doing things regardless of gender.
Mimi M 3 years ago
Just came to say the same. A lot of this was not male-female, but just people stuff.
Load More Replies... Brendan 3 years ago
I must confess that, before I moved in with my wife (then- girlfriend), I thought that women wore matching bras and nickers (panties), like in the lingerie ads. But, thinking about it, I don't match my socks with my boxer shorts.
Jessica Aubé 3 years ago
The generalized sexist remarks here about woman are gross .. do better bored panda .. woman do not fit in a box .. we are unique people
K O 3 years ago
It is not sexist for people to relate their experiences in life. Try understanding the article next time
Load More Replies... Aahzmandus Pervect 3 years ago
As a man with long hair, I just laugh at all the comments about hairs everywhere, because they are usually mine. Or I just notice them because they are gray and my wife's are not. I really don't know.
Sleazy Weaver 3 years ago
Aww, that's so sweet of her! Your wife is definitely a keeper. What a kind person!
Load More Replies... blugeagua 3 years ago
Just a reminder that just because you live with a woman that doesn't mean that's an indication of what all women do. We're still not a monolith. We're individual humans just like men are and no two women will be the same.
Bob Bobbins 3 years ago
Yeah, but the thing is that most stereotypes have a basis in truth. Enough women do these things that a large number of men have noticed them on a large scale. Therefore while there are exceptions, these are true in general.
Load More Replies... Marianne 3 years ago
Judging from many of these posts, there are so many women who rule that their partners do stuff "wrong" just because they do it differently. Please be considerate! Often, there is more than one good way to do something.
Sleazy Weaver 3 years ago
As long as the task gets done, there's no right or wrong way. Some ways may be more efficient, but if the end result is the same it doesn't really matter how you get there! :)
Load More Replies... ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago
In the articles where men are idiots everyone agrees.In articles where women do something different everyone rants about stereotypes
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Aside from the "women are all like this" implication, what about the "men apparently never know anything about women" implication? Maybe "neat freaks vs slobs", but not really gender. You should see how my hubby gets about his concert t-shirts! Forget the "good bra"! Do not touch his concert t-shirts! See? It's just people being people.
Cupcake168 3 years ago (edited)
I really love this thread! I’m living on my own (is that said right when you live alone?) and I almost forgot how lovely it was sharing a home. So heartwarming, even the discussions!
The Chosen One 3 years ago
All the hair-related ones are true for anyone with long hair, not just girls
Totally legit 3 years ago
Very relatable, I've lived with men and women and there are definitely some things that differ. But preferences regarding cleaning etc are individual...
Amanda Simmons 10 months ago
As a wife of 20 years....yesssss I definately do all these things😁....I laughed at almost all of them...
Paul Claxton 2 years ago
I I have 1 wife 3 daughters all with long hair, cleaning the shower trap every month was a must. Fortunately they didn't stick hair to the shower wall which is a bit gross, weirdly enough.
Sam Chopra 3 years ago
I don't really understand #12, I'm pretty sure we're humans too. What'd you expect, we suppress farts? Unless this is satire, in which case please don't get mad at me lol
Elizabeth Chandler 3 years ago
To the gentleman who asked why women only own one good bra is because a good bra that is well made, fits properly and is comfortable is EXPENSIVE and they only get more so the bigger a woman's boobs are. Another reason is the life expectancy of a bra. A cheap bra will only last anywhere from 2-6 months with regular wear(depending on bra size, brand/style, how often its washed); whereas a good bra will last anywhere from 12-18 months with the same amount of wear(though the life expectancy of a good bra is nothing compared to a good quality corset which can last anywhere from 5-10 YEARS with proper care).
Treessimontrees 3 years ago
I put everything I can snack size in old candle jars. I can't seem to handle throwing them away, and it looks nice.
steven 3 years ago
my wife is the queen of the dishwasher. I have given up any attempt of trying to load it correctly. My sons have inherited the dishwasher loading gene. Sometimes family dinners degenerate into mockery of us lesser types missing the dishwasher loading gene. Apparently proper placement of cutlery is important.
Rens 3 years ago
My hair gets EVERYWHERE, I have Fibromyalgia so my hair constantly falls out. I always have a massive ball of hair after I wash it. I do my best not to leave it all over the shower. However, I can't do much about what gets on the carpets. Regular vacuuming still yields masses of my hair.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Dunno why you were downvoted, I too shed hair like mad, it seems impossible that I can produce so much!
Load More Replies... Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 3 years ago
I think I'm meeting the wrong women... I've never had a tidy GF; I'm always the one being a**l about keeping everything tidy XD
Jon S. 3 years ago
Three things that surprised me: 1) How shitty women's shoes are. Honestly if my shoes give me blisters after the first day I wear them, they are defective and I'm getting my money back. My wife (and pretty much every woman I know) accepts this as normal. 2&3) That apparently smell and colour matter. I'm happy living in a beige home with no artificial smells, but that's just not civilized anymore (I don't mind the colour, but I find all the fragrances in women's products actually offensive to my nose).
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