Join the Fun!

If you don't open up about your feelings you're a toxic man. If you do, you're either being rude or being a pu**y. We're only supposed to have the CORRECT feelings, at the correct time, at everyone else's convenience.

Kiv____ , Ron Lach Report

Final score:

223points

POST

️Crystal️ 1 year ago

Thank you for sharing this frustration. The women who put you down for being emotionally vulnerable are contributing to toxic masculinity and you're better off without them. Being comfortable talking about your feelings is a healthy HUMAN trait - be healthy, and go find healthy😘

115points

Talking/interacting with a child and instantly getting seen as a [predator]. Once headed out with my 3 year old niece to a playground . . . half an hour later the police were involved. Needed my sister to clear things up.

GMSryBut , Pauline Loroy Report

Final score:

206points

POST

Roger9er 1 year ago

Simply because you are a man. No other reason.

88points

The factors that have led to men and women having often quite different life experiences, particularly through history, are pretty varied. While those forces in many cases still exist, there are a myriad of smaller, day-to-day things one gender might not even think about until a member from the other points it out.

For example, while its effects are basically omnipresent in many parts of the world, many women have not considered the abject terror brought on by male-pattern baldness. Roughly 30-50% of US men will encounter some amount of hair loss by the time they are fifty, creating a booming industry in toupees and hair transplants, as perhaps too much importance is placed on this objectively smallish tuft of hair.

Older single guy here. We're on our own. Nobody wants to touch us. No platonic affection. Nobody wants to help us. We need to figure it out for ourselves. Nobody will be there for you. You have to accept that. Crippling loneliness is a given. I know I will die alone. I just want to know, why the hell is it taking so long?

everylittlepiece , Kindel Media Report

Final score:

202points

POST

️Crystal️ 1 year ago

I am so, so sorry you're experiencing this 😥 I am a 35 year old lesbian who is disabled and women immediately ghost me as soon as they find out I am disabled. I've been single for over a decade, and my frustration has had me recently thinking of how much harder it must be for men who are in a similar boat of not meeting the shallow ideals so many women have. This might seem like a weird suggestion, but I've found groups that do platonic cuddle meets - strict boundaries, absolutely nothing sexual - and it helps with that need for closeness, if nothing else. You deserve healthy connection as much as anyone 💜

135points

Rens 1 year ago

I can relate too; I am 51, disabled and I also got ghosted and treat it like c**p on dating sites. I met a lovely man who lived in my building and we were together for almost three years until he passed away in January; he was also disabled and women were just as s****y towards him.

16points

Hamad§ 1 year ago

Omg Crystal I'm so sorry you are treated this way. You have dodged bullets. Hopefully one day you'll find someone who loves you for who you are

15points

María Hermida 1 year ago

I know it's not a big relief, but "better alone than in bad company". Those people who ghosted you because you are disabled are s****y people who would not have treated you the way you deserve. Sometimes, life just sucks, and people suck even more. I hope you can find somebody who accepts you and loves you.

10points

Tim Crowhurst 1 year ago

44, have a non-visible disability, and consistently and immediately get ghosted or friendzoned when a sex partner finds out. While it's nice when the trash takes itself out, it would be nicer if the world wasn't full of 7+ billion trash bags.

2points

Donna Drizin 1 year ago

Many women aren't shallow. Look for them.

2points

SeaJaySea 10 months ago

I am so sorry for all you guys- I hope it gets better

1point

censorshipsucks 1 year ago

sorry to be rude but what disability would make people not want to be with you? I can't think of one.

1point

Weasel Wise 1 year ago (edited)

Again, so real. 😞. My buddy, Grant, isn't even that old, only 45, but chronically single (and understandably due to his severe alcoholism). He mentioned having a really rough day mental health-wise and his shift was making it worse. I asked if he needed a hug and he eagerly accepted. I don't think I've received such a long hug in my entire life and I could feel him holding on and not wanting to let go as his breathing changed to hold back his tears. We stood in the way of all our coworkers during a busy dinner shift just hugging and I was so appreciative that nobody said a peep. They could all see him hurting and see how much he needed human contact. 😞😞

19points

Auntriarch 1 year ago

You are a very good person Weasel

5points

DarkViolet 1 year ago

I sure wish I had someone like you in my life. Having and recovering from cancer can be the loneliest time in a person's life.

2points

KLo 1 year ago

Weasel, what a kind soul you are. God bless you, and I hope your friend can find solace in your friendship. Sending Love and blessings to you and him.

0points

Michael Fernandez 1 year ago

On the one hand, I understand, as I recently had major surgery and had to face the fact that the hospital wouldn’t release me without a friend or family, but on the other hand, I called an old friend (a few weeks beforehand), and he drove two days down to take me to & from the hospital, and stayed a few extra days to ensure that I could function with a walker. People can surprise you (in a good way).

19points

Jennifer Ness 1 year ago

If platonic friendships are what all these guys need couldn't they make friends with other men? I see a ton of them hanging out having coffee at the fitness/rehab center I go to. This sounds like depression and I hope those dealing with it can get some help. Counselors don't just talk about feelings... they help you find solutions to get on a different track.

16points

Edison Lima 1 year ago

Making friends after a certain age is SUPER difficult if you don't have family! Most adults only make friends at work (and if you are retirei, that option is out), with other parents at their kids school, wirh friends of their relatives, friends of friends etc. Most people don't react all that nicely to a strange lone older man approaching them and trying to make small talk.

9points

Wendy Forrest 1 year ago

A senior dog or cat who needs your love and protection will complete you more than many humans.

15points

Doctor Strange 1 year ago

I'm there. Over thirty and unmarried? You are automatically damaged goods. I just turned 40. I spend every day alone. And its not for a lack of trying. I keep putting myself out there. But I'm just never good enough.

8points

Admiralu 1 year ago

You are good enough. Please stop caring what others think and make yourself happy. Do what you enjoy. I'll bet you meet that special person when you do.

1point

Andy Cran 1 year ago

in the UK we have a "men's shed" organisation where men can get together to combat loneliness....it's just involves chit chatting,fixing things (because us fellas like to be practical like that) etc....I don't know if similar things are available in other countries but it's worth checking out their website or atleast Google it

6points

LovingKnuckle 1 year ago

I am a 45 yr old divorced man in a fairly new town where I don’t know many people. The people I do know have spouses and kids. My best friends all live in other places. Normally go out alone, which doesn’t bother me too much because I am very outgoing, but makes it very hard to meet women. Most look at me like I am that creep at a bar. It sucks making new friends or by some miracle a new partner. The struggle is real.

6points

Mia Black 1 year ago (edited)

I think this is to blame on the patriarchy and machismo etc. In many Western cultures at least men tend to not touch other people than their family. It should be normalised that men, women, diverse are humans who need affection, also physical affection. Mostly men need to establish a healthy openness to feelings (physical and emotional). They need to begin to practice this from early on like many women do. Than it may stay part of their lifes like women do this. When you and your friends hug through your younger years, you may still do this as older persons which is healthy. I say this as a woman who has to learn and establish this too if I want physical and or emotional affection. I n still a little too shy but I practise (edit: autocorrect)

6points

Ka Se 1 year ago

That's depression you are talking about. Please get help. 🙏

6points

Sally Close 1 year ago

Oh honey that's so sad

3points

Tx jac 1 year ago

It hits us single older women too. Im genuinely a friendly person but seem to never cross paths with any age appropriate gentlemen that are alone. Not looking for much, friendship, someone to do dinner with (going dutch). Big hugs to you

3points

Dirk Daring 1 year ago

Can relate.

3points

Dennis Loo 1 year ago

i can relate. culture these days ghosting is done by many, & for them is normalcy. men are expected to pour out, bottling inside hurts. causes ppl to withdraw from society

2points

KJohn 1 year ago

Churches, libraries, city meetings, public events, museums, art shows, many many places to meet new people, so you don't end up being the creep at the bar. Do you really want to date a woman at the bar who thinks you are a creep? Go find someone with a little broader perspective. Good Luck!

2points

Dorothy Stovall 1 year ago

I'm so sorry to hear this. Makes me cry for you and all of the other men who feel as you do.

1point

Lyoness 1 year ago

Hug your friends, guys.

1point

Marnie 1 year ago

I could have written this as an older single woman.

1point

Max Fox 1 year ago

Not actually true. At that age women outnumber men, which means that there are more single women than single men. There, as a result, more women who are looking for relationships than men. The issue is that there are very few places where an older person can meet somebody new socially. There is also volunteering at museums, libraries, zoos, etc. You not only meet lots of people, but the other volunteers are also older men and women, who are also looking for connections.

1point

Calyx Teren 1 year ago

I’m so sorry. I hope someone knows and that you find some true friends.

1point

Nichole Harris 1 year ago

I'll be your friend!!!!! Come by have a drink listen to a game

1point

Jared Robinson 1 year ago

Phew, same boat. Couple tips: think about the exciting things tomorrow could bring. We are actually getting pretty close to flying cars that'll be cool, Government says there are aliens so that is going to be fun finding out what the hell all that is about, and mostly try being ridiculous. It's how I get through each day.

1point

Gabriela Cink 1 year ago (edited)

I understand partner probably covers more parts of struggles in life, but there are still friends, family and dogs :)

1point

Jude Corrigan 1 year ago (edited)

Sadly I believe that it is because a small minority of men are total creeps, women daren't interact with strangers for fear of finding one.

0points

Pillowarmidiloroku 1 year ago

bro its gonna be ok there is probably millions of other women your age thinking the same get yourself out there trust me your not gonna die alone

0points

Opie&Mary Heflin 1 year ago

I am so sorry for anyone experiencing this I am more than happy to be your friend please feel free to reach out to me anytime nobody should ever have to be alone if they don't want to be. Here's my email address and phone number should anyone want to reach out to me to talk or be friends opiemaryheflin@gmail.com 573-725-3364

0points

Chris D'Asta 1 year ago

Completely understand. No family to support me, A week away from eviction. Currently unemployed. Very little savings. I long for the sweet embrace of death.

0points

StarlightPanda! 1 year ago (edited)

This is really sad..I hope he sees a therapist and meets people who may become a part of his life.

0points

Lee Henderson 1 year ago

I am 63 and feel the same way as the OP. I dread trying to date, I am average looking at best. I have a*****e neighbors who brag about poisoning my cats but I have no proof to use against them.

0points

Mary Kelly 1 year ago

two things: consider an antidepressant, and consider volunteering or getting active in some hobby group, church, cards, VFW, etc.....you may be romantically alone, but you do not have to have crippling loneliness....good luck!

0points

Curt van Gompel 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Not being believed when it comes to sexual harassment

I was sexually harassed by a girl in my class a really long time ago and when I told it to the school they didn’t do anything

Both of my parents got involved and they still refused to do anything to the girl who was harassing me

TeaBags0614 , Ali Jouyandeh Report

Final score:

163points

POST

️Crystal️ 1 year ago

I am SO sorry. This is not fair 😭 thank you for sharing, I am sure many men will relate!

36points

The level of depresion men face while basically having no support system and forever being told to just be tough and push on..

Afraid_Purpose_8512 , Luke Jones Report

Final score:

157points

POST

JK 1 year ago

On the flip side, i have begged my husband to look in to therapy to help him deal with his traumas, but he won't go because he's been convinced to think it's "unmanly" or "weak" or "waste of time". I asked him if I was weak or wasting my time by seeking therapy myself, he basically told me that it was fine for *me* to go, just "wasnt for him". Men - therapy is NOT bad/weak/girly. Good mental health is incredibly important, please do not feel like it's not for you just because you're a man.

74points

for_sure_not_a_lama , Grace Madeline Report

This fear leads to a large number of myths and alternative “remedies” for hair loss that, for the most part, have little to no bearing on reality. Because testosterone levels play some part in how hair works, some have speculated that weight training might lead to male-pattern baldness, despite the fact that most cases are just hereditary. While there does seem to be a connection between excess testosterone and hair loss, many balding men also report low testosterone levels.

my brother got physically abused by his ex and somehow a ton of people still assume he did something to deserve it?... Imagine if the reverse happened! Like a woman talks about how her ex boyfriend punched her because he is an abusive piece of s**t and i would go "yea but what did you do to deserve such a reaction?". if i did that everyone would agree that i am the a*****e but for some reason multiple people have said this to my brother and no one bats an eye.

Final score:

146points

POST

️Crystal️ 1 year ago

I hate that this happens😖

37points

PearlJamDudeVoice , Dylan Ferreira Report

Expected to be the protector at all times. I mean I’ll do my best but damn, can we call the cops first.

Final score:

134points

POST

Blue Bunny of Happiness 1 year ago

Definitely! I want a partner who is still in one piece please!

41points

Trying to ask out women with little to no signals to go on. Having to approach and initiate every romantic interaction without coming on too strong and not seem like a creep.

2000dragon , Jed Villejo Report

Final score:

129points

POST

Roger9er 1 year ago

A lot is also screwed up by other men, who just push themselves upon women or girls and/or act like a creep and they don't care.

71points

Feeling_Nerve_7091 , Gerd Altmann Report

Some studies indicate that women have a stronger sense of smell than men, which is both a blessing and a curse, as many a young man learns a bit too late that if he can smell himself, everyone around him can as well. While there was no doubt a time when ancient humans needed every sense to be as sharp as possible, these days most aggressive aromas, from hot garbage to people who apply perfume with a hose, are more annoying than anything.

#10

Being accused of kidnapping my kids while taking them to the playground. That was fun.

Women going out of their way to avoid me when walking on a street (crossing the street). I get it, but wow does it hurt.

Feeling crushing anxiety and not being able to show it to basically anyone. My wife interprets it as me being unstable/unable to be the provider, even my therapist assumed I was just not wanting to face my demons and that I need to get over it. Gotta keep it in.

Being really sick and told it’s manflu.

Having me sense of self worth basically pinned to my ability to earn money

Very specific, but illustrates the point: I once was at a conference and I saw two ladies walking ahead of me. One was carrying a purse by its handle and it was hanging down. The purse was unzipped and stuff was starting to fall out as she was walking. I ran up and interrupted and pointed out the purse was open and stuff was about to fall out. They both looked at me and asked why I would be looking at her purse and called me a creep and walked away.

Final score:

124points

POST

️Crystal️ 1 year ago

I am so sorry you've experienced these things. As a woman who has had a lot of uncomfortable encounters with men, it can be easy to become paranoid but I am trying so hard to give every man the benefit of the doubt or just politely excuse myself from an interaction rather than be cold & make assumptions. You do not deserve to be called a creep for being a gentleman, or arrested for being an involved father, ugh!! Kidnappers & thieves are quite often women, not just men. I hope you can keep going to therapy - with a better therapist - because men bravely embracing their emotions is the only way things will change 💜

55points

#11

Middle age loneliness, particularly for married guys with kids. If you're not a middle age bro douche, you probably have no friends. None. Maybe you're amiable with work colleagues, maybe you have a game night with some neighbors, but they're barely more than acquaintances. Your last friend was 10, maybe 20 years ago in the before times. Seems like It's almost a societal expectation at this point.

spiderscan , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

121points

POST

Not Bored 1 year ago

I couldn't agree more

31points

#12

I have a terrible issue with crying, even when I'm at my worst and feel a constant urge to cry for weeks straight, I won't and can't. Sometimes I think I can't cry without permission. I am well aware that I don't need permission, but my body doesn't care.

TheEvelynn , Alena Darmel Report

Final score:

114points

POST

Owen 1 year ago

I am a 35yr old man, and I cannot cry in front of other people. Even at my Nan's funeral, Mum said I looked emotionless. But when I got home by myself I cried a bucket load. No one saw, so it was ok. This is what society puts on us.

59points

Socially, men are in many ways more at risk of loneliness. Male friendships, as opposed to female friendships, are more often based on shared activities than personal connections. This can endanger friendships if the activity has to end and also limits the “scope” of the relationship. Emotional disclosure can be harder if your friend is more of a tennis buddy than a true confidant.

#13

Being expected to be able to step up in scary situations when you are scared sh**less yourself and don't want to either.

Nolan- , Max Harlynking Report

Final score:

102points

POST

Xenon 1 year ago

Whoever is best equiped to handle it should be the one to step up.

47points

#14

You can shake it, you can thump it, you can beat it on the wall, but until you zip the zipper, the last drop will never fall.

AlphaMaelstrom , Help Stay Report

Final score:

96points

POST

Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago

That's why I pee in a cubicle and use toilet paper to soak up that 'last drop'

58points

#15

Just how f*****g lonely it is. You are expected at all times to be a simultaneous combination of guardian, emotional caregiver, leader, and provider, on TOP of being relatively successful and 100% independent.

And you have to ALWAYS be these things, 100% of the time. It's emotionally exhausting.

I know that readers may see this and list any number of the various advantages our unfair society affords men, and I won't argue that they aren't there. But I will state that I feel, and probably many other men would agree with this, that society doesn't really care about the emotional, mental, or social health of men.

Chris Rock famously said that only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally; men are loved under the condition of what they can provide. I agree with that statement. It's incredibly dehumanizing and dispiriting to constantly be told what society expects from you and wants you to be, as if all you are is a paycheck to support a family or a fearless leader who exudes strength and never falters.

Just_Plane952 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

95points

POST

Owen 1 year ago

This. 100% this. We must always demonstrate value. We must impress, or we are worthless.

31points

In the 21st century, given that most of us no longer work jobs where peak physique is required, some of the “evolutionary” advantages of the male body fall away. However, the image, or at least personal belief in that image of masculinity is still around, creating a psychological gap that many men don’t know how to overcome. Even worse, many men don’t even know how to ask for help.

#16

Trying to figure out if I should pay:

I should pay on the date to be polite but I also should also have us split because we're equal but there's a gender pay gap so I should pay because I'm a man but gender roles are meant to be cast aside? I...I....I AHHH

Bloody__Cosplay , Khoa Võ Report

Final score:

89points

POST

Sandra Morison 1 year ago

Easy solution .....ask beforehand

81points

#17

Being looked at as a pervert or weirdo for taking your kids to the park or store or anywhere. Any age too! Newborn all the way to teenager!

gigglemonkee , Derek Owens Report

Final score:

88points

POST

Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago

Never had that issue with bringing up my two kids. Also now as a grandad taking my grand daugher out- no issues and not feeling like there ever would be here.

2points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#18

Being shot down simply because you're a certain height

Bloody__Cosplay , sebastiaan stam Report

Final score:

86points

POST

Kristal 1 year ago

Mmmm I really think women can relate to being shot down due to a physical feature, both figuratively and literally.

77points

#19

it's not okay to be a stereotype who tells a woman to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, but it's acceptable if not downright encouraged for a woman to knock me for not being able to lift something heavy saying "you're a man, you're supposed to be able to do this!"

kbyyru , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

79points

POST

XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago (edited)

I kind of chuckled at this, but you're right & it's something I never realized. There are no gender stereotypes in this household, my partner knows that if there's a creepy noise in the house, he can wake me up and I'll grab my baseball bat & be like "I got this baby!" but also he does all the laundry & bakes like an angel...so yeah, laundry & cake, manly af!

37points

DeliciousDoorknob , RDNE Stock project Report

#20

When a woman expresses her feelings and/or problems, everyone can't get enough. When a man does, he is either ignored or told "man up dude". And this is something that'll go on forever.

Final score:

79points

POST

️Crystal️ 1 year ago

KEEP EXPRESSING YOUR FEELINGS PLEASE!!! it's the only way the norms will change, being vulnerable is so healthy & brave - even more so for men in western culture! thank you for sharing this here💜

44points

butkusny , Centre for Ageing Better Report

#21

Trying to talk to others about mental health (both mine and other's). As a child, my mother struggled with mental health but she was wise enough to get help and through that became determined to break the cycle in our family. She gave me the tools to deal with these struggles myself (and for others).
So now, well into my 50's I'm an empathic, caring man, father, husband that can listen well (typically offering the advice of...you should get some professional help but I'm here for you).
The problem is, any men in today's society judge my help as being "soft" or, "nosey " or being a "wash woman". Personally, I don't give AF but it is a sad statement in our society.

Final score:

79points

POST

️Crystal️ 1 year ago

Men like you will help change the societal norms, simply by opening people's eyes to the fact that openly caring men exist. Thank you!! 💜

34points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#22

Women have no idea what it's like to go your whole life with no one ever thinking to give you flowers.

gingimcghee , Angel Monsanto III Report

Final score:

72points

POST

Kristal 1 year ago

I'll be sure to give my guy friends flowers then. I grew some Dwarf Sunflowers, I'll give them those

12points

#23

Trying to find the balance of being emotionally vulnerable and masculine in such a way that maintains attraction. This leaks into communication, sex, outward behavior, and damn near everything in a relationship.

OatmealStew , Daniella Garcia Report

Final score:

71points

POST

️Crystal️ 1 year ago

I feel like that balance is nearly impossible in American culture, and I wish it were different 😞 vulnerability is a healthy trait for all relationships - women who say otherwise are contributing to toxic masculinity and are not worth your time, as they likely are not capable of healthy vulnerability themselves. Thank you for sharing this.

18points

#24

The ever lasting circle women put us in where they want us to communicate openly and honestly and then when we do, we have to justify what we said and spend a half hour explaining how what we said wasn't an attack on them but rather a logical statement. Gets annoying to the point I don't care to have an opinion anymore.

anon , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

67points

POST

R.A. Haley 1 year ago

Married for 43 years and I still get this a lot. One learns to give one-word replies, or none at all.

33points

#25

My wife and I are very affectionate with our young son. Tons of hugs and kisses. I know that there will be a point where he will no longer want that from me specifically but will be okay with her still showing that kind of love.

smcamp23 , Dominika Roseclay Report

Final score:

64points

POST

lenka 1 year ago

I hope not. My husband still hugs his father. My son is 12 and still wants hugs and kisses from my husband. I expect there will be a period during puberty where it will stop, but hope that on the other side they will continue to be physically affectionate with each other.

29points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#26

If we don’t express our emotions in a way that matches expectations, usually through actions and body language, they generally aren’t received or taken seriously, even when communicated clearly. It typically doesn’t matter how we *say* we feel.

Then if we go so far as to have an outburst like yelling or crying, the emotions are finally understood and taken seriously, but they change people’s opinions of us, and usually in a negative way.

There is no “I was just upset” excuse for us. We have to remain in control at all times because we’ll either be considered too scary or too weak, but in doing so, we’re constantly told that we don’t open up enough.

heyitsvonage , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

59points

POST

Kristal 1 year ago

Even though I am not male, I can relate to this, unfortunately. It really does mess a person up

22points

#27

Talking about your mental health. In recent years I've become more open about it but a lot of the men around me just won't open up about it. There are people I know who have ended their life because of mental health issues.

I think it's a difficult conversation no matter your gender, but a lot of men are told to "suck it up" or told that "men don't cry" so they have to keep it all inside.

alexlduffy , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

59points

POST

️Crystal️ 1 year ago

I have so much admiration for men who bravely rebel against this status quo of men needing to be tough and emotionless. Keep going, this is how we change society!! 💜

21points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#28

I had a situation in that I overheard my fiance's mother once say to her in very different words that men have only two emotions. Rage and horny. Basically sounded to me like she thought all men with emotions were just con-men lying to get sex.

Foodstuffs08 , PIX3L_PRODUCTION Report

Final score:

56points

POST

vvv 1 year ago

Unfortunately some generations of women didn't get a very good image of men.... I can recall my mother saying men only think about "that" thing ...very oddly her saying were confirmed by quite some men themselves...

26points

BibleButterSandwich , Toa Heftiba Report

#29

Trying to figure out if she’s into you, or just being nice.

Final score:

50points

POST

Rostit . 1 year ago

You got to ask. It'll save hassle

47points

Happy_goth_pirate , THABANG MADNSELA Report

#30

The absolute certainty that society doesn't give a flying f**k about you unless you can offer something. There's no net for men, you're on your own.

Final score:

46points

POST

Kristal 1 year ago (edited)

Could someone explain how this is a male only thing? To me, this seems true for any human being in society, I mean, look how people who are mentally ill or severely disabled are treated cause they can't "contribute to society"

54points

Note: this post originally had 35 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Read less »

Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

Read less »

What do you think ?

POST

lenka 1 year ago

This post actually serves to highlight that a lot of the issues suffered by women as a result of toxic masculinity also have repercussions for men too. Women have been encouraging men to feel, communicate, express, ask for help and engage emotionally - not only for our own benefit but for yours too. Gender roles don't serve anyone well. You don't need to be tough, brave, male, alpha, stoic, lonely or otherwise emotionally void. Please share.

34points

Marcos Valencia 1 year ago

Indeed. Feminism means liberation for men, too.

30points

Jill Rhodry 1 year ago

Exactly. 'Toxic' masculinity (perpetrated by men or women) is toxic to men, women and children.

10points

Brocken Blue 1 year ago

💯 Also, all the men hurting because society gives them the side eye for being around their own children… this is just the other side of the same misogynistic coin that insists “women are the natural child-carers.” I find it interesting that this post’s title claims women won’t understand these issues, because it was feminist writers who I first saw articulate these ideas. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6points

Rocky Wheelwright 1 year ago

Toxic feminist is also a huge problem. I see all the time in dating. Women telling me to “be a man…” or “you’re not tall enough…” or “don’t initiate anything with me…” the list goes on…

-1point

lenka 1 year ago

I am sorry you experience that Rocky. Its not OK. However that's not toxic feminism. That's not feminism AT ALL. That is toxic masculinity at its best. Unfortunately as a society, both women and men learn certain gendered behaviours and expectations that are patriarchal in nature. When those behaviours create unrealistic and unhealthy expectations regarding the role of men, it is toxic masculinity. And it is toxic precisely because it is both untrue and unhealthy for both men and women.

6points

Soyexfox 1 year ago

Took my 13 year old daughter to her first concert earlier this year and had to book a hotel room for the weekend. My first thing to pack was my ID and my daughter's birth certificate. Why?.....so I had proof that she was my daughter and I wasn't a sexual predator if I was called out. Also having to explain to my daughter why have to do such things. It still makes me really upset to think that I have to prove my innocence before I have to enjoy something with my kids. By the way, we had a fantastic weekend and she got to see r favourite artist, Yungblud.

20points

vvv 1 year ago

OK but what is the root of the problem...why do you have to do that ?

2points

R Dennis 1 year ago

I don't know if I should be more surprised or saddened by the lack of empathy from people in the comments. "Until all suffering is equal, yours has no value" is a terrible standard... I guess it's just disappointing...

14points

Cydney Golden 1 year ago

I think what most are saying is that the rules of suffering need to change for everyone.

0points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

This thread is so sad.

11points

Rens 1 year ago

Every time I read these posts, I want to stand up, wave my arms and shout "Here I am! I will listen, I will not judge, I don't care if you're tall or short or thin or fat, regardless of orientation etc, I am here; if you need someone to talk to, I'm here; if you need a hug, I'm here x

9points

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

One that's not really on here: I have two stepkids, but they're older. I came into their life when the youngest was just turning 4. I biologically cannot have my own children. I've always wanted to have a baby with my wife, but it isn't going to happen. Women are seemingly allowed to fawn over babies even if they're strangers. If I think a random baby is cute, I can't do the same, and it makes me sad. I haven't held a baby in a very long time, but I can't just ask to hold people's babies. I'm holding out hope for grandkids, but that's not something that's up to me.

9points

- 1 year ago

What if the parents were close friends or relatives? At one workplace, several of my male colleagues were fawning over a baby. Personally, I will not hold a baby unless I'm sitting down because I'm scared to drop them - so I'd gladly be the non-fawning woman and let you hold it. I hope you get your wish. Maybe you can say, "I'm looking forward to grandchildren and I need to practice holding babies."

2points

Christopher Denney 1 year ago

The one thing I didn't seen on this list is the fact that guys still seem to be expected to be the one to initiate any relationship. Guys are seen as weak if a girl asks them out, and the girls are seen as some slanderous word for sexworker.

8points

Harry Koppers 1 year ago

Fortunately I think this one is changing. Slooowly.

1point

️Crystal️ 1 year ago

I have so much admiration for all the men who shared their frustrations! Western society has such absolutely toxic standards/expectations for men. Some men happily feed into it, but I honestly think even more women do! We can't have a change without conversations, awareness, and men bravely embracing their emotions despite the repercussions. Be a rebel, feel your feels, and find healthy spaces where you're safe to express your emotions💜

8points

Dirk Daring 1 year ago

We're not ready for The Horizontal Mambo 100% of the time at the drop of a hat. If we're not In The Mood, it doesn't automatically mean we're cheating on you, no longer attracted to you, or secretly gay.

7points

sofacushionfort 1 year ago

What dark place have I taken as home, where my response to the cry of humanity is only dismissal and righteous condemnation because “my team” is the only worthy humanity?

5points

Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 1 year ago

Hey male/male identifying Pandas? ... Trolls, this excludes you. Anyway, I love you. I care about you. I'm glad you're here. I don't know if you can send messages on here, but if you can and you need someone... Reach out to me, okay? And if no one's told you today: you look handsome.

4points

Meh 1 year ago

I don't understand the men with their children comments. Where I live the parks, pools etc are full of men with their kids. Nobody gives a s**t ( apart from the occasional nut case I guess )

4points

anarkzie 1 year ago

These comments are scaring me because if I see a child I will say "Ah, he/she is cute", do people think I'm a pedo? :/

1point

freakingbee (any pronouns) 1 year ago

this is really sad

4points

Kat 1 year ago

I don’t understand why this post is title as “things women don’t understand” when most entries are obviously things women have been going through for centuries.

3points

HyperSocialCheeseFoe 1 year ago (edited)

I hate this. Everywhere you go, everything you do, every part of you will be hated. No matter your race, gender, personality, and no matter how hard you try to do the best you can you will be hated. But, at least some people share love. We need more love and hope in this world, not abuse, hate, and discrimination. But there is nothing I can do about it, no matter how hard I try.

3points

Pavlina G 1 year ago

Can we add, being married for 20 years, wife stops working at 7 to be a SAHM for a special needs kids, you travel 50% of the time for work, then proceed to have a 7 year affair before she wakes up and divorces. Then you complain about being lonely and depressed.

2points

similarly 1 year ago

Just reading through the comments here, it's really obvious that very few people care about men or care about men's issues. I see a lot of dismissing, minimizing, mocking, victim-shaming and victim-blaming, but precious little sympathy or understanding.

2points

Tracy Wallick 1 year ago (edited)

I think it's compassion fatigue; it's more than a little grating when the article is '--things women will never understand', when many of the entries on this list are things we not only understand, but go through ourselves. It shows an exhausting lack of awareness for the problems women face as well as men, and to be brutally honest for a moment, I personally have a harder time sympathizing with men when a number of the problems on this list are of their own making (not showing emotions, having to be the breadwinner, etc.). I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying they deserve to suffer. What I am saying is that, I feel like if some of these men paid even a little more attention to their female counterparts, they'd realize that many of their issues are not unique.

1point

Gozer LeGozerian 1 year ago

Men can thank the patriarchy for all of these. It was designed to oppress women, but damn, did it backfire on themselves

2points

Harry Koppers 1 year ago

No. Just no.

-3points

Daniela Lavanza 1 year ago

Very interesting posts, but how come so many are redundant? I read the same things twice. BP could clear up and keep the most interesting even if it means less posts, instead of trying to make a long list as a policy.

2points

Tracy Wallick 1 year ago (edited)

I feel for the men in these posts. I really do. But given the title of the article, a lot of the items on this list show an exhausting lack of awareness of women's problems; we absolutely understand a lot of the entries on this list, because we also live with them. Firstly, it means that because many of these entries are not unique, it means they are not alone in their struggles. Secondly, the change needs to come from men; patriarchy was made by men, for men, and to dismantle the parts of it that are harmful, it needs to be men who redefine what it means to be a man.

1point

Gary 1 year ago

Well just one or two posts of something fun would have been nice, PB is so F depressing most of the time.

1point

Bob La Capra 1 year ago

You are right, Gary. Some days the vast majority of posts are negative. I suppose BP has analytics that show the depressing ones get more views and comments which is what it's all about.

1point

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 1 year ago

Thank you for publishing this list.

0points

Chris D'Asta 1 year ago

Read through everything and I almost wish I hadn't. It's 5:30 am and I kinda wanna die.

0points

Sara Wilson 1 year ago

Sadly, women have lists like this too! What's needed is for people to start talking and LISTENING and trying to see things from the other side. Not just trying to get your side "winning". It's the only way this works! It's why the US is so f*cked up too

-1point

similarly 1 year ago

Honestly, Sara, I see lists for women on BP about once a week, but I agree: communication is absolutely essential.

0points

vvv 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Jonathan MacFarlane 1 year ago

So... men's struggles don't matter? In your push for equality, you've accidentally done the oppisite.

0points

The Idaho Potato 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Snow_White 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Janet Sparrow 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Harry Koppers 1 year ago

Deliberately being hurtful?

0points

The Idaho Potato 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

This is a toxic take. The idea that promoting attention on men's issues removes attention from women's issues is insane. Saying posts like this "detracts attention from real issues" is saying that men's issues aren't real, which only makes the actual men's issues worse. That's like saying raising awareness of prostate cancer detracts from awareness of ovarian cancer. Very bad take. It's all important, and this kind of thinking only makes matters worse for everyone.

14points

R Dennis 1 year ago (edited)

So men don't have real issues? I guess having a woman SA me at a party 25+ years ago isn't a real issue. The shame and embarrassment of it and the fact that I still think about it often must be my imagination. Suffering and struggle isn't a competition. Edit: This is the first time I have ever mentioned it because of people like you who devalue trauma experienced by men.

5points

Jill Rhodry 1 year ago

How are these issues not 'real'? (genuine question, would like to know your thoughts)

4points

anarkzie 1 year ago

This is an example of how feminism can be just as much a problem as the ideology of incels.

3points

POST

lenka 1 year ago

34points

Marcos Valencia 1 year ago

Indeed. Feminism means liberation for men, too.

30points

Jill Rhodry 1 year ago

Exactly. 'Toxic' masculinity (perpetrated by men or women) is toxic to men, women and children.

10points

Brocken Blue 1 year ago

6points

Rocky Wheelwright 1 year ago

-1point

lenka 1 year ago

6points

Soyexfox 1 year ago

20points

vvv 1 year ago

OK but what is the root of the problem...why do you have to do that ?

2points

R Dennis 1 year ago

14points

Cydney Golden 1 year ago

I think what most are saying is that the rules of suffering need to change for everyone.

0points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

This thread is so sad.

11points

Rens 1 year ago

9points

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

9points

- 1 year ago

2points

Christopher Denney 1 year ago

8points

Harry Koppers 1 year ago

Fortunately I think this one is changing. Slooowly.

1point

️Crystal️ 1 year ago

8points

Dirk Daring 1 year ago

7points

sofacushionfort 1 year ago

What dark place have I taken as home, where my response to the cry of humanity is only dismissal and righteous condemnation because “my team” is the only worthy humanity?

5points

Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 1 year ago

4points

Meh 1 year ago

I don't understand the men with their children comments. Where I live the parks, pools etc are full of men with their kids. Nobody gives a s**t ( apart from the occasional nut case I guess )

4points

anarkzie 1 year ago

These comments are scaring me because if I see a child I will say "Ah, he/she is cute", do people think I'm a pedo? :/

1point

freakingbee (any pronouns) 1 year ago

this is really sad

4points

Kat 1 year ago

I don’t understand why this post is title as “things women don’t understand” when most entries are obviously things women have been going through for centuries.

3points

HyperSocialCheeseFoe 1 year ago (edited)

3points

Pavlina G 1 year ago

2points

similarly 1 year ago

2points

Tracy Wallick 1 year ago (edited)

1point

Gozer LeGozerian 1 year ago

Men can thank the patriarchy for all of these. It was designed to oppress women, but damn, did it backfire on themselves

2points

Harry Koppers 1 year ago

No. Just no.

-3points

Daniela Lavanza 1 year ago

2points

Tracy Wallick 1 year ago (edited)

1point

Gary 1 year ago

Well just one or two posts of something fun would have been nice, PB is so F depressing most of the time.

1point

Bob La Capra 1 year ago

You are right, Gary. Some days the vast majority of posts are negative. I suppose BP has analytics that show the depressing ones get more views and comments which is what it's all about.

1point

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 1 year ago

Thank you for publishing this list.

0points

Chris D'Asta 1 year ago

Read through everything and I almost wish I hadn't. It's 5:30 am and I kinda wanna die.

0points

Sara Wilson 1 year ago

-1point

similarly 1 year ago

Honestly, Sara, I see lists for women on BP about once a week, but I agree: communication is absolutely essential.

0points

vvv 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Jonathan MacFarlane 1 year ago

So... men's struggles don't matter? In your push for equality, you've accidentally done the oppisite.

0points

The Idaho Potato 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Snow_White 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Janet Sparrow 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Harry Koppers 1 year ago

Deliberately being hurtful?

0points

The Idaho Potato 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

14points