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Men Share 30 Things They Believe Women Will Never Understand About Being A Man
Depending on one’s life experience, it can be easy to overlook all the little and not-so-little things one goes through on a daily basis. This can range from the logistics of standing versus sitting when going to the bathroom, all the way to how societal pressures manifest and how different people deal with it.
A netizen asked men to share struggles and difficulties that they believe women could simply never understand. From comical to deeply personal, men across the internet shared their thoughts and emotions. So be sure to upvote your favorites and comment your thoughts below.
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#1
I was the victim of domestic violence, and was laughed out of the police station when I attempted to report it.
Con O Cuinn 1 year ago
It's worse if you try report it while it's happening. Good chance you'll be the one who gets arrested
RELATED:
#2
If you don't open up about your feelings you're a toxic man. If you do, you're either being rude or being a pu**y. We're only supposed to have the CORRECT feelings, at the correct time, at everyone else's convenience.
️Crystal️ 1 year ago
Thank you for sharing this frustration. The women who put you down for being emotionally vulnerable are contributing to toxic masculinity and you're better off without them. Being comfortable talking about your feelings is a healthy HUMAN trait - be healthy, and go find healthy😘
#3
Talking/interacting with a child and instantly getting seen as a [predator]. Once headed out with my 3 year old niece to a playground . . . half an hour later the police were involved. Needed my sister to clear things up.
The factors that have led to men and women having often quite different life experiences, particularly through history, are pretty varied. While those forces in many cases still exist, there are a myriad of smaller, day-to-day things one gender might not even think about until a member from the other points it out.
For example, while its effects are basically omnipresent in many parts of the world, many women have not considered the abject terror brought on by male-pattern baldness. Roughly 30-50% of US men will encounter some amount of hair loss by the time they are fifty, creating a booming industry in toupees and hair transplants, as perhaps too much importance is placed on this objectively smallish tuft of hair.
#4
Older single guy here. We're on our own. Nobody wants to touch us. No platonic affection. Nobody wants to help us. We need to figure it out for ourselves. Nobody will be there for you. You have to accept that. Crippling loneliness is a given. I know I will die alone. I just want to know, why the hell is it taking so long?
️Crystal️ 1 year ago
I am so, so sorry you're experiencing this 😥 I am a 35 year old lesbian who is disabled and women immediately ghost me as soon as they find out I am disabled. I've been single for over a decade, and my frustration has had me recently thinking of how much harder it must be for men who are in a similar boat of not meeting the shallow ideals so many women have. This might seem like a weird suggestion, but I've found groups that do platonic cuddle meets - strict boundaries, absolutely nothing sexual - and it helps with that need for closeness, if nothing else. You deserve healthy connection as much as anyone 💜
#5
Not being believed when it comes to sexual harassment
I was sexually harassed by a girl in my class a really long time ago and when I told it to the school they didn’t do anything
Both of my parents got involved and they still refused to do anything to the girl who was harassing me
#6
The level of depresion men face while basically having no support system and forever being told to just be tough and push on..
JK 1 year ago
On the flip side, i have begged my husband to look in to therapy to help him deal with his traumas, but he won't go because he's been convinced to think it's "unmanly" or "weak" or "waste of time". I asked him if I was weak or wasting my time by seeking therapy myself, he basically told me that it was fine for *me* to go, just "wasnt for him". Men - therapy is NOT bad/weak/girly. Good mental health is incredibly important, please do not feel like it's not for you just because you're a man.
This fear leads to a large number of myths and alternative “remedies” for hair loss that, for the most part, have little to no bearing on reality. Because testosterone levels play some part in how hair works, some have speculated that weight training might lead to male-pattern baldness, despite the fact that most cases are just hereditary. While there does seem to be a connection between excess testosterone and hair loss, many balding men also report low testosterone levels.
#7
my brother got physically abused by his ex and somehow a ton of people still assume he did something to deserve it?... Imagine if the reverse happened! Like a woman talks about how her ex boyfriend punched her because he is an abusive piece of s**t and i would go "yea but what did you do to deserve such a reaction?". if i did that everyone would agree that i am the a*****e but for some reason multiple people have said this to my brother and no one bats an eye.
#8
Expected to be the protector at all times. I mean I’ll do my best but damn, can we call the cops first.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 1 year ago
Definitely! I want a partner who is still in one piece please!
#9
Trying to ask out women with little to no signals to go on. Having to approach and initiate every romantic interaction without coming on too strong and not seem like a creep.
Some studies indicate that women have a stronger sense of smell than men, which is both a blessing and a curse, as many a young man learns a bit too late that if he can smell himself, everyone around him can as well. While there was no doubt a time when ancient humans needed every sense to be as sharp as possible, these days most aggressive aromas, from hot garbage to people who apply perfume with a hose, are more annoying than anything.
#10
Being accused of kidnapping my kids while taking them to the playground. That was fun.
Women going out of their way to avoid me when walking on a street (crossing the street). I get it, but wow does it hurt.
Feeling crushing anxiety and not being able to show it to basically anyone. My wife interprets it as me being unstable/unable to be the provider, even my therapist assumed I was just not wanting to face my demons and that I need to get over it. Gotta keep it in.
Being really sick and told it’s manflu.
Having me sense of self worth basically pinned to my ability to earn money
Very specific, but illustrates the point: I once was at a conference and I saw two ladies walking ahead of me. One was carrying a purse by its handle and it was hanging down. The purse was unzipped and stuff was starting to fall out as she was walking. I ran up and interrupted and pointed out the purse was open and stuff was about to fall out. They both looked at me and asked why I would be looking at her purse and called me a creep and walked away.
️Crystal️ 1 year ago
I am so sorry you've experienced these things. As a woman who has had a lot of uncomfortable encounters with men, it can be easy to become paranoid but I am trying so hard to give every man the benefit of the doubt or just politely excuse myself from an interaction rather than be cold & make assumptions. You do not deserve to be called a creep for being a gentleman, or arrested for being an involved father, ugh!! Kidnappers & thieves are quite often women, not just men. I hope you can keep going to therapy - with a better therapist - because men bravely embracing their emotions is the only way things will change 💜
#11
Middle age loneliness, particularly for married guys with kids. If you're not a middle age bro douche, you probably have no friends. None. Maybe you're amiable with work colleagues, maybe you have a game night with some neighbors, but they're barely more than acquaintances. Your last friend was 10, maybe 20 years ago in the before times. Seems like It's almost a societal expectation at this point.
#12
I have a terrible issue with crying, even when I'm at my worst and feel a constant urge to cry for weeks straight, I won't and can't. Sometimes I think I can't cry without permission. I am well aware that I don't need permission, but my body doesn't care.
Socially, men are in many ways more at risk of loneliness. Male friendships, as opposed to female friendships, are more often based on shared activities than personal connections. This can endanger friendships if the activity has to end and also limits the “scope” of the relationship. Emotional disclosure can be harder if your friend is more of a tennis buddy than a true confidant.
#13
Being expected to be able to step up in scary situations when you are scared sh**less yourself and don't want to either.
#14
You can shake it, you can thump it, you can beat it on the wall, but until you zip the zipper, the last drop will never fall.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago
That's why I pee in a cubicle and use toilet paper to soak up that 'last drop'
#15
Just how f*****g lonely it is. You are expected at all times to be a simultaneous combination of guardian, emotional caregiver, leader, and provider, on TOP of being relatively successful and 100% independent.
And you have to ALWAYS be these things, 100% of the time. It's emotionally exhausting.
I know that readers may see this and list any number of the various advantages our unfair society affords men, and I won't argue that they aren't there. But I will state that I feel, and probably many other men would agree with this, that society doesn't really care about the emotional, mental, or social health of men.
Chris Rock famously said that only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally; men are loved under the condition of what they can provide. I agree with that statement. It's incredibly dehumanizing and dispiriting to constantly be told what society expects from you and wants you to be, as if all you are is a paycheck to support a family or a fearless leader who exudes strength and never falters.
In the 21st century, given that most of us no longer work jobs where peak physique is required, some of the “evolutionary” advantages of the male body fall away. However, the image, or at least personal belief in that image of masculinity is still around, creating a psychological gap that many men don’t know how to overcome. Even worse, many men don’t even know how to ask for help.
#16
Trying to figure out if I should pay:
I should pay on the date to be polite but I also should also have us split because we're equal but there's a gender pay gap so I should pay because I'm a man but gender roles are meant to be cast aside? I...I....I AHHH
#17
Being looked at as a pervert or weirdo for taking your kids to the park or store or anywhere. Any age too! Newborn all the way to teenager!
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago
Never had that issue with bringing up my two kids. Also now as a grandad taking my grand daugher out- no issues and not feeling like there ever would be here.
#19
it's not okay to be a stereotype who tells a woman to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, but it's acceptable if not downright encouraged for a woman to knock me for not being able to lift something heavy saying "you're a man, you're supposed to be able to do this!"
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago (edited)
I kind of chuckled at this, but you're right & it's something I never realized. There are no gender stereotypes in this household, my partner knows that if there's a creepy noise in the house, he can wake me up and I'll grab my baseball bat & be like "I got this baby!" but also he does all the laundry & bakes like an angel...so yeah, laundry & cake, manly af!
#20
When a woman expresses her feelings and/or problems, everyone can't get enough. When a man does, he is either ignored or told "man up dude". And this is something that'll go on forever.
#21
Trying to talk to others about mental health (both mine and other's). As a child, my mother struggled with mental health but she was wise enough to get help and through that became determined to break the cycle in our family. She gave me the tools to deal with these struggles myself (and for others).
So now, well into my 50's I'm an empathic, caring man, father, husband that can listen well (typically offering the advice of...you should get some professional help but I'm here for you).
The problem is, any men in today's society judge my help as being "soft" or, "nosey " or being a "wash woman". Personally, I don't give AF but it is a sad statement in our society.
#22
Women have no idea what it's like to go your whole life with no one ever thinking to give you flowers.
#23
Trying to find the balance of being emotionally vulnerable and masculine in such a way that maintains attraction. This leaks into communication, sex, outward behavior, and damn near everything in a relationship.
️Crystal️ 1 year ago
I feel like that balance is nearly impossible in American culture, and I wish it were different 😞 vulnerability is a healthy trait for all relationships - women who say otherwise are contributing to toxic masculinity and are not worth your time, as they likely are not capable of healthy vulnerability themselves. Thank you for sharing this.
#24
The ever lasting circle women put us in where they want us to communicate openly and honestly and then when we do, we have to justify what we said and spend a half hour explaining how what we said wasn't an attack on them but rather a logical statement. Gets annoying to the point I don't care to have an opinion anymore.
R.A. Haley 1 year ago
Married for 43 years and I still get this a lot. One learns to give one-word replies, or none at all.
#25
My wife and I are very affectionate with our young son. Tons of hugs and kisses. I know that there will be a point where he will no longer want that from me specifically but will be okay with her still showing that kind of love.
#26
If we don’t express our emotions in a way that matches expectations, usually through actions and body language, they generally aren’t received or taken seriously, even when communicated clearly. It typically doesn’t matter how we *say* we feel.
Then if we go so far as to have an outburst like yelling or crying, the emotions are finally understood and taken seriously, but they change people’s opinions of us, and usually in a negative way.
There is no “I was just upset” excuse for us. We have to remain in control at all times because we’ll either be considered too scary or too weak, but in doing so, we’re constantly told that we don’t open up enough.
#27
Talking about your mental health. In recent years I've become more open about it but a lot of the men around me just won't open up about it. There are people I know who have ended their life because of mental health issues.
I think it's a difficult conversation no matter your gender, but a lot of men are told to "suck it up" or told that "men don't cry" so they have to keep it all inside.
#28
I had a situation in that I overheard my fiance's mother once say to her in very different words that men have only two emotions. Rage and horny. Basically sounded to me like she thought all men with emotions were just con-men lying to get sex.
#29
Trying to figure out if she’s into you, or just being nice.
#30
The absolute certainty that society doesn't give a flying f**k about you unless you can offer something. There's no net for men, you're on your own.
What do you think ?
lenka 1 year ago
This post actually serves to highlight that a lot of the issues suffered by women as a result of toxic masculinity also have repercussions for men too. Women have been encouraging men to feel, communicate, express, ask for help and engage emotionally - not only for our own benefit but for yours too. Gender roles don't serve anyone well. You don't need to be tough, brave, male, alpha, stoic, lonely or otherwise emotionally void. Please share.
Marcos Valencia 1 year ago
Indeed. Feminism means liberation for men, too.
Load More Replies...
Soyexfox 1 year ago
Took my 13 year old daughter to her first concert earlier this year and had to book a hotel room for the weekend. My first thing to pack was my ID and my daughter's birth certificate. Why?.....so I had proof that she was my daughter and I wasn't a sexual predator if I was called out. Also having to explain to my daughter why have to do such things. It still makes me really upset to think that I have to prove my innocence before I have to enjoy something with my kids. By the way, we had a fantastic weekend and she got to see r favourite artist, Yungblud.
vvv 1 year ago
OK but what is the root of the problem...why do you have to do that ?
Load More Replies...
R Dennis 1 year ago
I don't know if I should be more surprised or saddened by the lack of empathy from people in the comments. "Until all suffering is equal, yours has no value" is a terrible standard... I guess it's just disappointing...
Cydney Golden 1 year ago
I think what most are saying is that the rules of suffering need to change for everyone.
Load More Replies... lenka 1 year ago
This post actually serves to highlight that a lot of the issues suffered by women as a result of toxic masculinity also have repercussions for men too. Women have been encouraging men to feel, communicate, express, ask for help and engage emotionally - not only for our own benefit but for yours too. Gender roles don't serve anyone well. You don't need to be tough, brave, male, alpha, stoic, lonely or otherwise emotionally void. Please share.
Marcos Valencia 1 year ago
Indeed. Feminism means liberation for men, too.
Load More Replies... Soyexfox 1 year ago
Took my 13 year old daughter to her first concert earlier this year and had to book a hotel room for the weekend. My first thing to pack was my ID and my daughter's birth certificate. Why?.....so I had proof that she was my daughter and I wasn't a sexual predator if I was called out. Also having to explain to my daughter why have to do such things. It still makes me really upset to think that I have to prove my innocence before I have to enjoy something with my kids. By the way, we had a fantastic weekend and she got to see r favourite artist, Yungblud.
vvv 1 year ago
OK but what is the root of the problem...why do you have to do that ?
Load More Replies... R Dennis 1 year ago
I don't know if I should be more surprised or saddened by the lack of empathy from people in the comments. "Until all suffering is equal, yours has no value" is a terrible standard... I guess it's just disappointing...
Cydney Golden 1 year ago
I think what most are saying is that the rules of suffering need to change for everyone.
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