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Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were “Gay” (50 Answers)

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If you're a guy, chances are someone said you should "man up" or "boys don't cry" at some point in your life. The phrase that inspired this article is right up there among these classics.

A few months ago, Reddit user The_WereArcticFox submitted a question to the platform, where they asked: "Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'" Sadly, it has received plenty of replies.

As of this article, there are over 38.5K comments under the post, proving that our society is still pretty messed up when it comes to masculinity and homosexuality.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Not straight but bi, but large parts of my family don't know that.

Anyway this was a few years ago. I was helping my dad repair a hay bailer and I was standing around looking at my dad under the machine greasing something. I had my hands on my hips.

My uncle pulls up in his truck and rolls down the window. He shouts out to me, "Take your hands off your hips. It makes you look queer."

My dad gets out from under the bailer and starts yelling back at my uncle.

"I'd rather have a queer helping me than a lazy ass like you."

My uncle shut up and drove off.

Byrdman216 , pexels Report

Final score:

300points

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#2

Cry. I used to cry a lot as a child and would get bullied for it. The adults in my life all agreed that crying made me weak, but one in particular (secretary at my elementary school) thought it also made me seem gay and feminine and told me that was why I was being bullied.

The reality is that I was probably depressed from having recently moved across the country from my family and often found myself lonely so I couldn't handle the smallest amount of rejection or teasing from others.

Please don't tell children not to cry. Talk to them about their feelings so that the source of their sadness can be tackled, not the symptom. I still struggle with processing basic emotions because i spent so much time repressing them over stupid reasons like this.

BuffNuwaPLS , pexels Report

Final score:

240points

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Cultural pressures for men to behave in a certain way (toxic masculinity) often claim that 'real men' have to perpetuate domination, homophobia, and aggression.

To learn more about them, we contacted Dr. Stephen Whitehead, an internationally recognized author, consultant, and researcher on gender, sexuality, identity management, and relationships. "Since modern humans first evolved some 300,000 years ago, one half of the species has used its physical strength to dominate the other half. It's not used its intelligence or sought to develop its emotional depths, it has dominated by virtue of brute force or the threat of it – which has been easy for men to do because biologically, most men are physically stronger than most women," the author of 'Toxic Masculinity, curing the virus: making men smarter, healthier, safer' told Bored Panda.

Whitehead added that reinforced by the biological imperative (women are the ones who bear children), this immediately created a gender binary which then created patriarchal conditions that position women as 'natural' carers, nurturers, with men as 'natural' warriors, leaders, providers, hunters, etc. "We shouldn't, therefore, be surprised that 300,000 years of such social conditioning has resulted in one half of the species believing it is naturally superior to the other half."

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#3

I was at a party with my gf and my siblings, minding my own business while drinking sparkling water.

My BIL: “Dude, are you drinking sparkling water? That’s so gay.”

Me: points at my gf

BIL: “...”

Me: “Look I’m sorry, but you’re not my type... and with my sister.”

Several months prior I was at a gay bar ordering a sparkling water.

The bartender, smug af: “Really? Sparkling water? You must be straight.”

What is it with me drinking sparkling water and my perceived sexuality?

J-J-Ricebot , unsplash Report

Final score:

218points

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#4

My granddad once told me not to brush my hair because "looking pretty is for women and the gays".

Screw you, buddy. I want to look nice and not like I'm chasing hedgehogs through a freakin bush, you unwashed heathen.

RudyRhythmface , pexels Report

Final score:

198points

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#5

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) As a helicopter pilot I have a checklist. We ALL have a checklist. Even though I have the slimmer version, its still a lot of pages, so I bought some page markers and labeled the important pages like start up, shutdown, refuel, emergencies, whatevs, good idea right?

I misplaced said checklist in an aircraft I hadn't seen in a while and asked some of the more senior guys if they had seen it and one of them responded:

"Oh, the one with all the gay little page markers?"

And all the others laughed.

If being convenient is gay, then I'm flamboyant.

ApacheOc3lot , unsplash Report

Final score:

174points

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In reality, however, Whitehead thinks it is an illusion. "It's a myth, based on a history mostly written by men which purports to reduce women and females to a secondary sex which requires protecting and is inherently weak and vulnerable," he said. "As Simon de Beauvoir put it, women are reduced to being 'the Other.' By having women as the other, men then get to put themselves at the centre."

Males have been convinced that the idea of masculinity consists of violence, aggression, conquest, dominance, selfishness, competitiveness, combined with repression of their deepest emotions.

"As I say in my book, this myth was sold to your father, my father, and all their fathers before them. Its consequences are all around us, from religious fanaticism to denial of global warming, from corrupt capitalism to the extinction of species, from rampant weaponization to misogyny, from racism to homophobia, from empire building to genocide, and from domestic violence to male suicide. We have built a world on toxic masculinity, and humanity has paid the price. Humanity continues to pay the price," Whitehead explained.

According to him, the toxification of males starts from the moment they are born. "It takes root in the language and in practice, and feeds into men's expectations, self-perceptions, and how they relate to women. We know this, but still we seem unable or unwilling to stop it."

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It's all around us, too. We may not notice all the evidence of toxic masculinity, but we're just so accustomed to it, some nuances are bound to slip our mind if we're not paying attention.

#6

Apparently going out for Mexican and margaritas with your pal. No one said it directly, but the waitress gave us a complimentary dessert for 2 and said happy anniversary... free dessert is free dessert, I guess.

IronCorvus , unsplash Report

Final score:

173points

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#7

One time a girl thought I was gay because I was attentive during sex. I'm not even joking

mybustersword , pexels Report

Final score:

169points

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#8

Putting on sunscreen.

justinduderino , flickr Report

Final score:

166points

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Whitehead himself cannot remember the last time he was physically threatened by a man. It may have been all the way back in the 1970s when he was a pub landlord in Leeds, Yorkshire, UK, but that doesn't mean he's not experiencing it. "I live a quiet, reflective life in Chiang Mai, northern Thailand, with my wife and step-daughter... I'm 71 [and] like everyone else these past 18 months, I've been living with the consequences of Covid-19. Thailand was barely affected up until early this year when infections suddenly went from a few hundred to over 50,000 rising at 4,000 a day, with hundreds of deaths. The Thai government immediately locked down infected areas and ruled that if you went out of your house, you had to wear a face mask. Pretty much every Thai person followed that ruling. In fact, Thais have been wearing face masks since early last year. No problem. Who hasn't been wearing face masks in Thailand? A lot of Western male expats – with many Thai press reports about this problem."

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#9

I said I like it when it rains.

TheDeadGunslinger , pexels Report

Final score:

161points

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#10

2 of my friends from high school died in a car accident a week before the graduation

Everyone from the classroom went to the funeral and some lf my classmates were crying a lot

I decided to hug one of them and comfort him. One of my closest friends..

And this guy (a fat one, part of the "popular cool group wich are always doing stupid stuff to get attention") came into me, touched my back and yelled "Dude i didn't know you liked d**k hahaha"

He was kicked from the funeral and lost probably 90% of his friends

fedexhh , unsplash Report

Final score:

161points

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#11

Painting my daughter's nails. (She's 3)

mrdr_fest , pexels Report

Final score:

160points

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Two weeks ago, Whitehead was at the local ATM, getting some cash out. Suddenly, a white male, around 35, walks up with his young son. He was not wearing a face mask, nor was his child. "I politely asked him not to come close to me because he's not wearing a mask. He looked at me incredulously, demanded I repeat myself (which I did) and he then stormed past me to the ATM and started ranting about how 'people like you are the reason why we have this fucking problem. I should smack you in the mouth. Give you a good thumping! You miserable piece of shit!’ etc," Whitehead recalled.

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"Emotionally, he has gone from zero to 100 in a matter of seconds. I am shocked and genuinely scared that he may attack me so I say nothing more, simply get my money out of the ATM and leave. Though I had every right to call the police not only over his threatening behavior but because he was breaking the law by not wearing a mask. The point is, he could barely control his anger – he was on the edge of violence – and that was in a very public place, broad daylight, accompanied by his son... As a psychologist/sociologist, I know toxic masculinity when I see it and this was it, full-frontal, stark, vicious, senseless, selfish, aggressive and very dangerous. As the American Psychological Association recently pointed out, toxic masculinity is a mental health issue which needs dealing with urgently."

#12

Eating bananas, hot dogs, popsicles, string cheese, using a straw, hugging other men, touching feminine hygiene products,

This is the one that kills me; letting your 3yo daughter do your hair, makeup and nails.

Yogisogoth , flickr Report

Final score:

155points

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#13

Washing my as**ole. Friend of mine once said "everyone knows that's gay, you can miss me with that."

Apparently you are only allowed to wash your cheeks and let's suds run down your crack. Any direct contact with your own as**ole and u will catch the gay.

TheDreadPirateElwes , unsplash Report

Final score:

150points

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#14

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Having a child with my wife is gay. Taking care of my kid, and making being a good father and enjoying time with my child as the main goals of my life is somehow gay.

Changing diapers is apparently gay now. Having heterosexual sex and dealing with the consequences is also gay. Loving your kids and being a good dad is gay.

It doesn’t make any sense at all.

NotAnotherLibrarian , pexels Report

Final score:

143points

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The first way to address a problem, according to the author, is to name it. And while he thinks we as a society haven't contained toxic masculinity, Whitehead believes it is now on the defensive. "MeToo, BLM, all the media discussion about the behavior of men are pushing back at TM. However, there is a rump of male society which is now going to kick hard against any critical discussion about masculine identity (and against anti-sexism, gun control, anti-racism, LGBT+ rights) but these men (and some women) are increasingly on the fringe," he said. "They do not represent the future, they represent the past. But that doesn't mean they won't be a problem going forward. We need to educate them."

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But can we educate the fella who threatened to punch Whitehead in the head? Can we really educate him and the millions of men like him? "We cannot. We have to therefore educate his young son. And that can only happen in schools because there is a big danger that boy will become infected by the toxic masculinity virus also – he'll catch it from his dad."

#15

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) When I was in high school, everyone thought I was gay because I wore a scarf to school one day.

A) Scarves aren't gay.

B) It was a gift from my great grandmother.

C) It was during the winter in Pennsylvania. IT. WAS. COLD.

CrossENT , pexels Report

Final score:

140points

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#16

The strangest one I've heard is "Two guys can't drive around in a convertible with the top down."

FalseAlarmEveryone , unsplash Report

Final score:

138points

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#17

When I was in 8th grade, i got a solid beat down for wearing a plain purple t-shirt. Apparently only gay guys do that.

YEARS later i found out I was gay for liking d**ks, turns out it had nothing to do with my shirt. Who woulda think?

TheWingest Report

Final score:

134points

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Whitehead thinks there are many ways to be a man. And toxic masculinity is just one of them. Interestingly, in his book, the author also mentions what he describes as the other two dominant forms of masculinity now circulating in the world: progressive and collapsed. "The progressive is probably going to overtake toxic masculinity eventually (if human society is lucky), while collapsed will take us very likely into an age of androgyny – we are already seeing signs of this in Japan, South Korea, China and it is emerging globally in men," he explained.

"New and dominant ways of being a male are emerging in cultures and societies. Hopefully, as this evolution takes place, the toxic version will disappear or become confined to a few dangerous places," Whitehead concluded.

#18

My mom told me to stop complaining about my migraine cause “thats not very straight of you”

_Andro_ , pexels Report

Final score:

126points

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#19

Cross my legs when sitting. After a student brought that up to me one time too many, I asked him why he was staring at my legs. That shut him up.

LotusPrince Report

Final score:

122points

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#20

I have a friend who is bi, she married a man. Before her wedding, her mom reminded her that some of her family were Jehovah's Witnesses and less tolerant of homosexuality, and she asked her not to "act gay". I'm not sure how you can act gay at your wedding when you're marrying someone of the opposite gender.

But in the end, her maid of honor was a lesbian and my husband and I (both men) came so her shitty, bigoted aunts had to put up with our existence anyway.

Gneissisnice Report

Final score:

121points

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#21

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) "can't come mate, I'm spending the weekend camping with my girlfriend"

"Pffft, what are you, gay? You're missing a party dude"

I'm pretty sure both of us lost braincells in the moment of silence after he said that.

Chev_Chellios , pexels Report

Final score:

120points

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#22

I hugged my best friend. We don't do that handshake-hug-over-one-shoulder-and-pat-on-the-back bull**it, we f**king embrace. Some people think that's "gay" but we don't care. We enjoy each other.

The other day we went white water rafting and at one point we laid on our backs and floated down a calm part of the river while holding hands. I can't argue with that one, it's a little gay. Still don't care. Had a good day.

HeyHoLetsGo615 Report

Final score:

116points

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#23

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Pedicures. When I was in the military a female friend of mine convinced me to get one by paying for both of us. I've been getting them regularly now for the last 15 years and still some men think it is "gay or feminine"

Guys your missing out! It feels amazing!

fanatiqual Report

Final score:

115points

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#24

Wear pink or similar colours, although it definitely is my colour

SkilledHater , unsplash Report

Final score:

101points

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#25

80s kid here. Anything involving showing emotion is gay. Wearing any clothing that isn't muted is gay. Stating that something is cute is gay. Getting excited about hobbies is gay. Calling your guy friends to talk is gay. Crying is gay. Airing grievances of everyday life is gay. Washing your butthole is gay. Using lotion other than jacking off is gay. Shaving anything other than your face and neck is gay.

Collucin , unsplash Report

Final score:

98points

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#26

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) If an alcoholic drink doesn't taste really bitter or doesn't burn your throat, apparently it's penis in a glass...

robertofontiglia , pexels Report

Final score:

96points

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#27

Not from my folks, but just society made me believe that guys shouldn't hug their friends. .

20 years later, my 6'3" biker friend is big on hugs.

Catlenfell Report

Final score:

94points

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#28

Growing my hair and taking care of it

999hennesy , unsplash Report

Final score:

92points

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#29

My girlfriend once seriously asked me if I was gay because I said that I liked her body. Safe to say she had some issues.

yee_mon , pexels Report

Final score:

86points

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#30

A nightly/daily skin care regimen.

sexapotamus , pexels Report

Final score:

83points

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#31

Two guys can't sit next to each other in a movie theater if it's not crowded

FalseAlarmEveryone , pexels Report

Final score:

82points

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#32

Eating at a sushi restaurant with another guy

random_username_94 , unsplash Report

Final score:

82points

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#33

I have this casual button down shirt that's...pinkish? Coral? Salmon? More of a Salmon...which is what I said in the story.

Anyway, I really like the shirt based on its fit and its material. And I never have anyone say anything bad about it (I've had like two compliments on it over the 8 years I've had it).

But one day some guy started making fun of me for wearing a pink shirt. And I thought he was joking so I started joking and went "Actually it's a lovely salmon, possibly with a lemon or honey glaze"

And he then called me a homosexual for knowing about salmon as a color and describing cooking in such a way. I don't even know how to cook lol, I ordered that at a restaurant once and loved it.

F**k 'em though. One of the girls I dated loved the shirt.

CaedustheBaedus Report

Final score:

82points

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#34

Playing the saxophone

Honestly what in the world?

umpalumpamonkey , unsplash Report

Final score:

81points

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#35

I was engaged, and my co-workers knew I was engaged to a woman.

I was at some sort of work thing, and started talking to a guy who was obviously gay. We started talking about philosophy, and I thought he was a cool guy. I was just like hey, if I ever read "x book" that we were talking about, I'd love to discuss it with you over coffee or something, but I might not read it anytime soon.

I'd just graduated college, where getting coffee with someone didn't mean anything, and you just did it if you wanted to have a conversation with them.

Apparently everyone thought I asked the dude out. I guess I see where they're coming from, but I just wanted to talk about Wittgenstein with someone who'd read him should I ever read him.

kiinexify34 Report

Final score:

78points

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#36

I've been told wearing a mask, or PPE in general, is "gay".

NeoNirvana Report

Final score:

77points

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#37

Loving my fiancee. Apparently having feelings for someone of the opposite sex was gay. These were older men who are always saying "I hate my wife" or "once you're married you'll hate her". I truly don't understand how people get like that. If loving my fiancee is gay then I'm the biggest queer in the world.

TooGayToPayCash Report

Final score:

76points

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#38

Play as a female video game character.

CertifiedNinja297 , ubisoft Report

Final score:

75points

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#39

Calling out a family member who catcalled a woman that was jogging

mrdr_fest Report

Final score:

71points

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#40

Carry an umbrella.

Anxious-Market , pexels Report

Final score:

69points

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#41

At the age of 22, during Obama’s re-election, my dad told me voting for him was gay and would turn me into a homosexual.

Plot Twist: Dad is white, mom is black.

CptSaveaCat Report

Final score:

68points

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#42

A friend told me I'm holding my fork in a gay kind of way.

kasaaxxg59 , flickr Report

Final score:

66points

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#43

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) At work I once complimented another man on his outfit. My male co-workers looked at me as if I had asked if he had naked photos of himself I could see.

irishamerican , pexels Report

Final score:

65points

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#44

The time my female friend was wildly drunk and I wouldn't have sex with her. Both her and my male friends were all calling me gay that night!

this-isthe-way Report

Final score:

65points

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#45

Rollerskating was gay all of the sudden.

_DrSpliff , unsplash Report

Final score:

63points

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#46

Hugging a friend that had lost his father, sad to see caring about others is also being hit by toxic masculinity.

ObesiusPlays Report

Final score:

63points

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#47

Work at Victoria's Secret for a summer. I was trynna speed up the girlfriend-getting process and decided to work at a female-rich environment but apparently that was gay.

Definitely_Not_Frodo Report

Final score:

62points

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#48

I was taking prescription strength pain killers after surgery. My friend had come over to check on me. Her boyfriend (ex) thought it was gay to take pain killers and told me to be a man.

unicornwithoutapoint Report

Final score:

60points

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#49

Anything dance related.

_DrSpliff , pexels Report

Final score:

58points

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#50

Using a loofah. Like bruh I can feel it's making me cleaner than just a bar of soap how TF is cleanliness gay.

mrdr_fest Report

Final score:

58points

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#51

Not exactly "that's gay" but a guy talked down to me once for using the word "craving" because "Cravings are something only women get!"

GothamInGray , pexels Report

Final score:

33points

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#52

Not that I've been told not to do it, but I know a guy who refuses to eat p**sy because he says it's gay.

Final score:

33points

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#53

Gay guy here, I enjoy playing piano and used to get told "it's gay af" back in middle school. Now when I see the amount of straight guys getting chicks because they can play an instrument, ha.

throwaway549846548 Report

Final score:

33points

#54

I had a friend tell me once when we were 18 (around 2005) that I "smoked cigarettes like a queer." I asked what the f*ck that was supposed to mean. He had no explanation, just kept repeating the same line, until I reminded him that he taught me about cigarettes, how to hold and smoke them. Everyone in the group turned to him and laughed him out of the room.

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Final score:

33points

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#55

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) My cousin described his shoes as “comfy”. My dad suspected him of being gay for several years later.

MITexan28 , pexels Report

Final score:

33points

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#56

Rent a cottage with my gf instead of going camping with the boys.

copewithlifebyliving Report

Final score:

32points

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#57

Broke a guy’s jaw in high school, sent him a get well card while he was in the hospital. He called me gay for sending the card

Grumpel-Stiltskin , flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

28points

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#58

Me and a friend of mine used to be like Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels from dumb and dumber . Always getting in trouble , bunking class on my scooter , going out to eat , buy groceries , a long ride out of the city coz the air is so fresh where people don't live . My friend later told me he heard a rumor that we both were always together so we were gay . We laughed it off and went to have our hot pockets .

piscary_perry_troll Report

Final score:

28points

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#59

Not me but a friend was seen as effeminate because he was into sewing. I'm sorry, but the manliest man trait on the planet is practicality, and sewing is one of the most practical skills to have at literally any point in history.

ProxyCare Report

Final score:

28points

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#60

My father said it was gay to play an instrument...

...but he pretty much called anything he didn't like or couldn't do gay...

...now that I think about it he thought a lot was gay. There were gay ways to eat donuts, gay ways to sit, it was gay to take a bath, it was gay to want your friend over to play videogames because it was two guys in a closed room...

And his explanations were really detailed as to why it was all gay...my father thought really deeply about why things were gay or hetero.

Oh well, it's not like I talk to him anymore.

thematgreen Report

Final score:

28points

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#61

Eating a salad or a god forbid a BANANA

mrdr_fest Report

Final score:

28points

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#62

Not cheating on my then-girlfriend, now-wife with another girl

rubbleone Report

Final score:

27points

#63

My brother-in-law thinks recycling is gay.

mycatsadie Report

Final score:

27points

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#64

I enjoyed acting in community theater growing up. Apparently that made me gayer than a handbag full of rainbows

PoogeMuffin Report

Final score:

26points

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#65

Back in high school my friend was called gay for liking the smell of a women's perfume. He shot back "well, women use it to attract men, so it's only logical I like it"

TheOneWithWen Report

Final score:

24points

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#66

I had a girlfriend that started laughing when I crossed my legs because that’s hella gay.

And it was like the full straight guy spread out T leg cross.

rockrnger Report

Final score:

23points

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#67

not a guy, but i used to be in chorus in high school. guys would comment that the guys in chorus were gay. they weren't and most of them had amazing voices.

so i would ask them who their favorite band was - it was always a male dominated group, and then watch their brains implode when i asked them if the lead singer was gay.

bunnyrut Report

Final score:

23points

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#68

Doing anything about my appearance/well-being is perceived as "gay" by under-sexed macho jacka**es. When I started dressing well, I got called metrosexual. Telling the wrong people I got a pedicure or massage gets me gay comments. Bruh I just wanna look pretty get off my case.

Dyl-thuzad Report

Final score:

23points

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

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#69

Being unable to lift more than a girl.... i was 7 and she was like 30

icecoldvegies Report

Final score:

22points

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#70

Sharing your feelings as a male. Christ.

braggouk Report

Final score:

22points

#71

An old man told me I was gay because I wore shorts. His exact words were "you want people to see your legs like some f****t"

Brockhoist Report

Final score:

22points

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#72

My husband was told he was gay because he was reading Sunstone, an adult comic series based around a kinky lesbian relationship.

Foxclaws42 Report

Final score:

21points

#73

Brazilian living in the US. Speedo is a gay thing. I don't get it.

Kenji182 Report

Final score:

21points

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

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#74

So I was about to go on a date with a girl and my (didn't know he was) gay friend said that I shouldn't because it's gay.

santah1tler Report

Final score:

20points

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#75

Join theater at highschool. Joinna frat in college....smh

Persiankobra Report

Final score:

19points

#76

Liking female vocalists or rappers

mrdr_fest Report

Final score:

19points

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#77

When I was young, I couple of friends refused to be seen with me if I wore a red t-shirt because wearing red is gay!

FleanNCresh Report

Final score:

18points

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#78

I'll admit that I was the perpetrator in this case. When I was veeery young, like 8 or 9, I was convinced eating strawberries was kinda gay

Valestr , unsplash Report

Final score:

17points

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#79

I worked with a guy from Somalia who had strange ideas about a lot of things who told me I was gay for putting on chapstick. And brought it up at least once a week for months

itzsp3ll3dwrong Report

Final score:

17points

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#80

Knew a guy in college who was disgusted at the idea of going down on a woman. He said it was gay, and we all just kinda stared at him like "A guy... eating out a girl... is gay?" He insisted only girls and gay men go down on their partners. It was really weird. Not sure if it was a cultural thing; he's Jamaican, but I've never had the opportunity to discuss the topic with another Jamaican.

AurelianoTampa Report

Final score:

17points

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#81

My mom walked in on my shaving my arm pits, and promptly went to tell my dad all about how gay it is.

Gildedtyrant Report

Final score:

17points

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#82

If you had a piercing in the right ear you were gay.

_DrSpliff Report

Final score:

16points

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#83

I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet alot.

Information-Ok Report

Final score:

16points

#84

Go to cheer camp. I was the mascot at my school and thought it would be awesome be a straight guy where the girls are all barely clothed. I pointed this out to people and they had to seriously reconsider what they thought was gay.

Also, when I used to look at porn, apparently wanting the guy to be younger and somewhat attractive was gay.

Being a theater tech was kinda day (only if it was musicals).

Getting real excited about hobbies is gay. This is the one I'm most upset about. I didn't think it was gay, I just lost interest because of all the stupid comments. It's not till now that I'm almost 30 that I'm finally loving having some great hobbies

herman-the-vermin Report

Final score:

16points

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#85

Peeing while sitting down.

Final score:

16points

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#86

I ordered champagne for breakfast and one person I know and two staff members asked if I was gay.

40ozSmasher Report

Final score:

16points

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#87

Drink any beverage out of a bottle, rather than a cup.

Final score:

15points

#88

A buddy of mine once complained that no one looked manly drinking from a straw.

AukwardOtter Report

Final score:

15points

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#89

Have girls as friends in primary school. Many of my male friends told me that was 'Gay'. Now whos laughing when I am the only guy invited to girls slumber parties.

And I'm Bisexual

The_WereArcticFox Report

Final score:

14points

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#90

When our Physical Education Teacher examines if we cut our nails boys would show with their palms upward and bent at knuckles whereas girls would simply show palms facing downward. Now if you did the other thing you're gay. Our teacher sensed something off and made everyone show with their palms down.

ignoringusernames Report

Final score:

13points

#91

Told this guy I liked his wrist watch and he completely flipped out calling me gay. Then he goes storming out of the bathroom without even flushing his urinal.

fokkerhawker Report

Final score:

11points

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#92

When I was little somebody told me to check my nails and apparently if you make a half fist and turn your hand so you can look at them it means you're straight. If you hold your hand up like you are about to give someone a high five it means you're gay.... Kids are weird...

MatisJohnhu Report

Final score:

11points

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#93

I shouldn't compete in wrestling because its hot, sweaty men grabbing onto eachother. And yet girls can make-out with eachother, full-on have sex and still claim to be straight.

IHadSexWithMyFriend Report

Final score:

10points

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#94

“You like pink ! That’s gay !“
”O, You run like a girl !”

Yet, nobody gives a damn If a girl wears blue, and If a woman runs fast, she‘s an athlete.

EddyDemoIcan Report

Final score:

10points

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#95

Being a flight attendant. I’m straight and became a FA for the travel and earn a little money. Most people I met on crews would assume I was gay until they talked to me and figured out I wasn’t. I screwed several female FAs btw

CajunCanadian_YT Report

Final score:

9points

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

What do you think ?

Hans 3 years ago

While mit is easy to condemn those who made these ridiculous comments about what constitutes being gay, I pity them. Not only because they consider being gay something "wrong" or at least undesirable, but because they are so insecure in their very being. It must be so hard to build a life around not behaving "gay", leaving out the chance to show emotion, doing what is healthy for you, and enjoying life with others (gender and age without any relevance).

22points

Al Christensen 3 years ago

"...they are so insecure in their very being." Exactly.

10points

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fuggnuggins 3 years ago (edited)

After walking away and returning I just want to give another example of just how wrong you are in your oversimplfiying, reductionist mischaractarisation of a phenomenon that is global and therefore human and perhaps even somehow, in nature's way and so not necessarily surface-level apparent, logical. The word f****t: I use this word from time to time. Generally it's, like I stated previously, just gentle, non-malicious mockery. Though, occasionally I might say it with a more visceral feeling: like people do with the word "f**k" - sometimes it's casual, sometimes playful, sometimes it's a forceful release. When I say it in frustration you might be inclined to CHOOSE to hear "you engage in sexual acts with another of the same sex and that is the worst thing possible". However, that could not be further from the truth. YOU drew that analogy, not me. My interpretation of the word is the historical, original meaning of the word: it means a bundle of sticks, something heavy, something that must be carried, a burden - and in such it refers to a "burdensome woman". And obviously, a certain subset of gay men who have taken it upon themselves to be the representation of what it is to be gay are suitably associated with that characterisation. Obviously not all gay men do, but that subset is so ingrained in the public mind, common enough to have been encountered by just about everyone at some point, and so f*****g noticable - they create their attention, they cultivate it - that it can hardly be blamed on anyone else that that stereotype exists. And though people might not realise this history, the intended use still, to this day, matches that meaning. I've known that gay man, many times. I've also known others. I don't necessarily dislike them, but I very much dislike the behaviour and often the attitude that accompanies it. On the other hand, there are gay men that act nothing like that who I very much appreciate: a couple that come to mind are authors Clive Barker and Michael Moorcock, and also Andy Ngo, the journalist (surprisingly, they do still exist, mostly in the shadows) who has done and suffered so much in exposing Antifa for the degenerates that they are. So, when I use that word it is in very much the same sense as this site and it's audience frequently uses the word "Karen". It is almost identical in meaning. So, where's the difference? Here's the opportunity to learn about yourself and to maybe see what I already very clearly see: why do you so frequently criticise things such as you have here yet give those using the word "Karen" a free pass? I don't see you use the word, but you agree with them, don't you? So, then, you actually agree with the people using the word f****t, also. So, why are you so dishonest about the fact? How have you fooled yourself? And to what end? For what purpose? For what reward?

-2points

fuggnuggins 3 years ago

It must be so hard to build a life around clinging to distorted misrepresentations that attempt to invalidate innocent, normal every day things as somehow wrong as a form of self-validation, leaving out the chance to -actually- live and let live and to -actually- feel comfortable with oneself.

-2points

fuggnuggins 3 years ago (edited)

Articles: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201809/stereotype-accuracy-displeasing-truth ; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200804/all-stereotypes-are-true-except-i-what-are-stereotypes ; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199805/where-bias-begins-the-truth-about-stereotypes

-2points

fuggnuggins 3 years ago (edited)

You always make the gayest comments. What you are responding to is true in a vanishing minority of situations. That's not insight, it's a strawman. Mostly, people are mocking in a not too serious way. However, the mockery, the stereotype, is based in truth. As stereotypes are - and I'll refer you to several articles below on that topic. But, how do you see criticising people for criticising, essentially, being wishy-washy, dramatic or maybe displaying overt, showy effeminity or other behaviour that makes people uncomfortable or is needlessly disruptive as any different other than that one has a basis that is supported somewhat by psychology and is socially adaptive and the other being psuedo-psychological molly-coddling drivel? Can you imagine what kind of world where a psychologist said "Drama: it's fine.", Dr Hans? What about "You are very sensitive, and that's OK and you definitely should not aclimatise yourself to a world populated by people, differing opinions and difficult situations." Do you think that people, collectively, are generally organised enough that they might develop, over thousands of years, the ability to recognise what behaviours and attitudes lend themselves to well-adujsted adults and healthy societies?

-2points

Henrik Lukas 3 years ago

It should of course go without saying, but being percieved as being gay .. is not something to really get hung up on. Being gay is fine. Not being gay is fine.

21points

Helen Haley 3 years ago

I get a few people assuming I'm a lesbian. It shouldn't bother me, but people making such inaccurate base assumptions about me always does. I also am uncomfortable when they assume I'm a christian.

2points

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Irma 1 year ago

I get mistaken for a lesbian often. I simply tell them i am married to a man. No harm done ofcourse. Why would i get mad about about that

0points

fuggnuggins 3 years ago (edited)

You do realise, of course, that the word literally means "happy/carefree"? And that it doesn't "mean" homosexual? You do also realise that it is common to assocate walking around with a smile plastered permanently on one's face with idiocy? And so, you do also see the connection with a certain subset of homosexuals? Can we stop pretending that words don't mean what they mean and can we stop pretending that commonplace things don't occur? You take adulthood and reduce it to children in the playground pitting their make-believe giant robots against each others' - ever-changing impossible images that never conform to reality and seek only to outdo the other. You make life seem like a MCU fan forum - endlessly arguing about the facts of fictions.

-3points

Okiedokie 3 years ago (edited)

I’m pansexual so I can’t comment, but the amount of stigma when it comes to gender and how one should act in order to fit into one category or another is ridiculous. Where did this crap even come from?

21points

Anne 3 years ago

History. We are changing it, but some people are slow to catch on that a whole lot of stuff that was normal just a few decades ago, was only normal because it was the norm. Not because it should have been normal. So. Slowly. We are getting there. Racism, sexism, equality for all, inclusion. we are working on it.

3points

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Samuel Zhao 3 years ago

I don’t want to sound like a d***, but what does pansexual mean?

1point

Dale 3 years ago

Ummmm it came from there being 2 biological genders which generally have very different characteristics, but now there is a "spectrum" that noone can explain truly, there are infinite genders? It is so convoluted now that we confuse gender identity and biological gender.

1point

Toujin C'Thlu 3 years ago

According to these posts, 'real men' are supposed to be filthy, unkempt, feel nothing but anger or lust, and do nothing other than run around having sex or beating people up. Shows how fragile masculinity has become for some.

11points

N G 3 years ago

But only penetrative sex with the penis - no cunnilingus (at least two posts say that's gay too). So more or less barely evolved cavemen.

5points

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Vermillion Ace #443 3 years ago

O . o; Most of this is just plain rotten, proof that masculinity is nothing more than a sham. I can't say I've really experienced any of this (other than being confused for a female, which doesn't irk me too much), but I feel sorry for anyone who has to put up with this kind of harassment. Be kind to each other, express yourself how you feel fit and don't give into their hatred and jealousy.

8points

Helena Houzarová 3 years ago

So gay now means cool? Okay, got it, gay! This language evolves so fast...

7points

Rakjell Hanwell 3 years ago

This also goes the other way around- I am gay and the things I am apparently supposed to do and like just because I am gay are ridiculous. And even worse, the things I am apparently not 'allowed' to do, because it doesn't fit someones idea of a gay man (especially young white women seem to have a lot of unwritten rules for us). Sexuality and personality are not determined by whom you go to bed with. My best friend (who is straight) often got told by his family that his hobbies are 'gay' and that he should be more like me. Turned awkward quickly when people realized that I am the gay one (and that I support my friend in all of his hobbies).

6points

Brendan 3 years ago (edited)

My ex gf thought I was gay (before we got together) because I was really nice. Says a lot about people's perception of straight guys.

5points

Something 3 years ago

If these were all true, it would make nearly all men gay.

4points

htbq 3 years ago

in middle school had a girl tell me to look at the bottom of my shoe. so i lifted my foot in front of me sideways to look under. girl said that i was straight. i asked what the hell is going on. she said that if you lift your shoe from the back and looked behind you then thats gay. told her whatever and moved on with my life.

3points

Mark LaHoud 3 years ago

When I was about 30 I had way more male admirers than female (I was/am married & straight). One in particular starting stalking the restaurant I ran and couldn't believe that. I called a friend who is gay and very open - "tell me, do I seem gay?" he said yes. Details please? So here's how I learned I must be gay: 1. I'm always groomed 2. I'm sociable 3. I make eye contact a lot 4. I'm stylish (so he says) 5. I like musicals 6. I go to piano bars 7. I like Queen 8. I can spell 9. I sleep in a queen-size bed 10. I sleep on a queen size mattress So there's the list in case I'm confused. I'm a f@#$%t and don't know it! (Damn, that was supposed to rhyme.)

2points

Sergio Bicerra 3 years ago

A friend from work outed to me, cause he thought I would understand. I thought it was because I am very aproachable to people, but no, he thought I was gay too, for some of the reasons you have posted. Not into musicals, and don't think i'm stylish.

0points

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Black Pug Puppy 3 years ago

All the comments I made on this post were sarcastic

2points

Sergio Bicerra 3 years ago

Even this one? I'm confused now ! XD

0points

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Susan Stead 3 years ago

My family thought I was gay because I lived in San Francisco. I guess once you step foot there, it's like "POOF!"

2points

Benjamin Thor Collier V 3 years ago

Easy....performing CPR on a male coworker. He recovered. We were both 'gay' after that. Even though we're both hetero. People are idiots...

2points

Anita Pickle 3 years ago

What I got from this is: homophobic = lazy, stinky, unorganized, doesn't respect women/children/animals/themselves, poor hygiene, wears clothes not appropriate for the weather, illiterate, jealous of people in relationships, and really the one we all know flat out ignorant

1point

Jill Bussey 3 years ago

Gay is not a problem. Homophobia is a problem. Skin of different colour is not a problem. Racism is a problem. Why is it so difficult to just be yourself? And so sad.

1point

El Dee 3 years ago

Toxic masculinity is everywhere but it looks like it's particularly in the US. These are AWFUL. My grandchildren won't, I hope, be growing up to face this (as much)

1point

Sam Yobado 3 years ago

I hope things are better, but a lot of these hit home. Liking the color purple, using an umbrella, crying after breaking my nose, being polite. It used to be a catchall for perceived femininity or weakness.

1point

Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago

So apparently in order to be straight a guy has to... be smelly and unhygienic, unmusical, unable to dance, an emotionless robot, not spend time with his girlfriend, definitely not marry a girl, be a bad father, a bad friend, unable to cook, unable to repair anything made of cloth, and never ever put his hands on his hips. Sounds bloody awful.

1point

Dynein 3 years ago

You know what's gayer than anything mentioned in the posts? Being so concerned about the difference. If you need to find any other definition than "not being attracted to men" to define yourself (and others) as straight, the definition must not be working for you...

1point

Gene Perry 9 months ago

Manscaping!

0points

Irma 1 year ago

First. And if they were actually gay, why would that hurt you. Second.. its not always about being gay or not. Sometimes here its just that people assume that the person you are with is your SO. Which happens with straight people too cause woman cant have male friends or someting. That kinda stuff

0points

Samuel Zhao 3 years ago

#14 If being a great dad is gay, then my dad is hella gay

0points

Ade Sidabutar 3 years ago

I'd rather be a gentleman even being told as gay than to be a jerk just because afraid of being told as gay.. What definition of 'gay' exactly anyway, it's so subjective in this articles

0points

Barbara Baldwin 3 years ago

Oh sweet baby cheeses! We're all gay!

0points

Hugo Raible 3 years ago

Reddit: Here are some things men struggle with. Bored Panda: Let's interview an "expert" to insult men with their feminist propaganda.

0points

fuggnuggins 3 years ago

This article is gay.

0points

Vanta Black 3 years ago

In college, I was helping a female classmate with her coursework, as she didn't understand some of the material. Another classmate said I was flirting with her, and when I denied it he said I "must be gay". She wasn't even my type. I've also been called gay because I can cook (common I know), being able to speak French, and wearing a baseball cap.

0points

Alejandro I. 3 years ago

For everyone out there: Be happy the way you are. The stories in this article make "gay" seem like an insult. I like purple, you like green. I like men (I am a woman), you like men and you are a man, what is the matter?

0points

Sky Render 3 years ago

Most of what I see in this article is how much of homophobic culture is built around using homophobia as a means of controlling behavior on a case-by-case basis. It would seem to me that it's less about fearing being "gay" as it is about conforming to expectations of what it means at that specific moment to be "straight", and thus any behavior that is undesirable by the party uttering the word "gay" is fair game, even if there is no logical reason for it. Fascinating.

0points

TmKhr 3 years ago

I've never done anything that someone would call "gay", but at one school a female friend asked if I was gay because I didn't have a girlfriend at the age of 23 :D I told her no, and she said she's always wanted a male gay friend. Well too bad it wasn't me.

0points

Renate Stargardt 3 years ago

(It was in the 80's) We were asked at school, what we would like to do for a living ... we were around 15. A male schoolmate said he would become a farmer and later run the family - farm with his mother. Some of his classmates laughed at him and said it was totally gay to want to work with your own mother. His mother ran one of the largest farms in the area, which she had inherited from her parents ... they grew fruits, vegetables and flowers. His father was a vet ... which, by the way, was also gay ?! One of the most ridiculous statements on the subject of "gay" I have ever heard ... till now!

0points

Bacony Cakes 3 years ago

tbh homosexuality is kinda gay

0points

Indigojinn 3 years ago

Not scoring a goal in football. Then not getting naked in the communal showers. Life in a 1980's London boys school.

0points

Ivy la Sangrienta 3 years ago

And this is why I taught my son early on that "gay" isn't an insult, and shouldn't be used as such. One of the few rules that I have.

0points

Gabriel 3 years ago

I can't get why people care about oter people's sexuality, it's not hard to mind your own business

0points

Tracy Wallick 3 years ago

I don't know where to begin, the homophobia of using 'gay' as an insult, or the fact that men are insulted for doing anything even distantly associated with femininity (and the face that being feminine is so terrible that it's used as an insult).

0points

Earl Grey 3 years ago

I had no earthly idea that there was so much fertile ground for this phobia. Umm, did that sound gay? 🤭

0points

Sean Harrison 3 years ago

I've had long hair since I was in High School, people (mostly other guys) frequently assume I'm gay just because of that.

0points

Sergio Bicerra 3 years ago

I have one: watching Sex & The City with my gf, and enjoying it. But the series, the movies were crap imo.

0points

Person #1,051 3 years ago (edited)

So: being safe, caring, hygenical, and having fun is gay. Why does gay sound like a complement now?

0points

Jackie Porter 3 years ago

I can't understand how calling someone 'gay' is an insult? Who the hell cares? Enjoy your life, do what you enjoy, where what you like etc. If others call you gay then it's their problem.

0points

Unidentified Individual 3 years ago

Once you hit a certain age you just stop caring. It’s extremely liberating!

0points

Seabeast 3 years ago

What a restricted life that must lead to.

0points

Sleepy Panda 3 years ago

My teen nephew was once told he was gay when he got a summer job working at a daycare center.

0points

Helwin 3 years ago

So apparently straight men can't wear pink, purple, red, bright colors... damn, that's sad !

0points

Marianne 3 years ago

This thread makes me feel like there is a large group of people who will call everything gay if they can't have it themselves or if they want to avoid to do something themselves. Very convenient.

0points

jk nbt 3 years ago

This will get you the label: two guys going out for burgers or tacos after playing afternoon tennis is gay to those who are quick to slap down the label. I am surrounded by pharisaical, judgmental, hypocritical jerks all the time. It gets old...

0points

jk nbt 3 years ago (edited)

in TX, drinking a cup of hot tea for afternoon break instead of a carbonated beverage will get you slapped with the "label".... With the sexual revolution now in its sixth decade, men are very insecure about sexuality, especially when it comes to their own. The solution is to label and categorize everything. This gives a feeling of control and macho superiority. To which I reply, guilty dog barks first. Kind of pathetic, actually...

0points

Hans 3 years ago

While mit is easy to condemn those who made these ridiculous comments about what constitutes being gay, I pity them. Not only because they consider being gay something "wrong" or at least undesirable, but because they are so insecure in their very being. It must be so hard to build a life around not behaving "gay", leaving out the chance to show emotion, doing what is healthy for you, and enjoying life with others (gender and age without any relevance).

22points

Al Christensen 3 years ago

"...they are so insecure in their very being." Exactly.

10points

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fuggnuggins 3 years ago (edited)

After walking away and returning I just want to give another example of just how wrong you are in your oversimplfiying, reductionist mischaractarisation of a phenomenon that is global and therefore human and perhaps even somehow, in nature's way and so not necessarily surface-level apparent, logical. The word f****t: I use this word from time to time. Generally it's, like I stated previously, just gentle, non-malicious mockery. Though, occasionally I might say it with a more visceral feeling: like people do with the word "f**k" - sometimes it's casual, sometimes playful, sometimes it's a forceful release. When I say it in frustration you might be inclined to CHOOSE to hear "you engage in sexual acts with another of the same sex and that is the worst thing possible". However, that could not be further from the truth. YOU drew that analogy, not me. My interpretation of the word is the historical, original meaning of the word: it means a bundle of sticks, something heavy, something that must be carried, a burden - and in such it refers to a "burdensome woman". And obviously, a certain subset of gay men who have taken it upon themselves to be the representation of what it is to be gay are suitably associated with that characterisation. Obviously not all gay men do, but that subset is so ingrained in the public mind, common enough to have been encountered by just about everyone at some point, and so f*****g noticable - they create their attention, they cultivate it - that it can hardly be blamed on anyone else that that stereotype exists. And though people might not realise this history, the intended use still, to this day, matches that meaning. I've known that gay man, many times. I've also known others. I don't necessarily dislike them, but I very much dislike the behaviour and often the attitude that accompanies it. On the other hand, there are gay men that act nothing like that who I very much appreciate: a couple that come to mind are authors Clive Barker and Michael Moorcock, and also Andy Ngo, the journalist (surprisingly, they do still exist, mostly in the shadows) who has done and suffered so much in exposing Antifa for the degenerates that they are. So, when I use that word it is in very much the same sense as this site and it's audience frequently uses the word "Karen". It is almost identical in meaning. So, where's the difference? Here's the opportunity to learn about yourself and to maybe see what I already very clearly see: why do you so frequently criticise things such as you have here yet give those using the word "Karen" a free pass? I don't see you use the word, but you agree with them, don't you? So, then, you actually agree with the people using the word f****t, also. So, why are you so dishonest about the fact? How have you fooled yourself? And to what end? For what purpose? For what reward?

-2points

fuggnuggins 3 years ago

It must be so hard to build a life around clinging to distorted misrepresentations that attempt to invalidate innocent, normal every day things as somehow wrong as a form of self-validation, leaving out the chance to -actually- live and let live and to -actually- feel comfortable with oneself.

-2points

fuggnuggins 3 years ago (edited)

Articles: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201809/stereotype-accuracy-displeasing-truth ; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200804/all-stereotypes-are-true-except-i-what-are-stereotypes ; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199805/where-bias-begins-the-truth-about-stereotypes

-2points

fuggnuggins 3 years ago (edited)

You always make the gayest comments. What you are responding to is true in a vanishing minority of situations. That's not insight, it's a strawman. Mostly, people are mocking in a not too serious way. However, the mockery, the stereotype, is based in truth. As stereotypes are - and I'll refer you to several articles below on that topic. But, how do you see criticising people for criticising, essentially, being wishy-washy, dramatic or maybe displaying overt, showy effeminity or other behaviour that makes people uncomfortable or is needlessly disruptive as any different other than that one has a basis that is supported somewhat by psychology and is socially adaptive and the other being psuedo-psychological molly-coddling drivel? Can you imagine what kind of world where a psychologist said "Drama: it's fine.", Dr Hans? What about "You are very sensitive, and that's OK and you definitely should not aclimatise yourself to a world populated by people, differing opinions and difficult situations." Do you think that people, collectively, are generally organised enough that they might develop, over thousands of years, the ability to recognise what behaviours and attitudes lend themselves to well-adujsted adults and healthy societies?

-2points

Henrik Lukas 3 years ago

It should of course go without saying, but being percieved as being gay .. is not something to really get hung up on. Being gay is fine. Not being gay is fine.

21points

Helen Haley 3 years ago

I get a few people assuming I'm a lesbian. It shouldn't bother me, but people making such inaccurate base assumptions about me always does. I also am uncomfortable when they assume I'm a christian.

2points

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Irma 1 year ago

I get mistaken for a lesbian often. I simply tell them i am married to a man. No harm done ofcourse. Why would i get mad about about that

0points

fuggnuggins 3 years ago (edited)

You do realise, of course, that the word literally means "happy/carefree"? And that it doesn't "mean" homosexual? You do also realise that it is common to assocate walking around with a smile plastered permanently on one's face with idiocy? And so, you do also see the connection with a certain subset of homosexuals? Can we stop pretending that words don't mean what they mean and can we stop pretending that commonplace things don't occur? You take adulthood and reduce it to children in the playground pitting their make-believe giant robots against each others' - ever-changing impossible images that never conform to reality and seek only to outdo the other. You make life seem like a MCU fan forum - endlessly arguing about the facts of fictions.

-3points

Okiedokie 3 years ago (edited)

I’m pansexual so I can’t comment, but the amount of stigma when it comes to gender and how one should act in order to fit into one category or another is ridiculous. Where did this crap even come from?

21points

Anne 3 years ago

History. We are changing it, but some people are slow to catch on that a whole lot of stuff that was normal just a few decades ago, was only normal because it was the norm. Not because it should have been normal. So. Slowly. We are getting there. Racism, sexism, equality for all, inclusion. we are working on it.

3points

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Samuel Zhao 3 years ago

I don’t want to sound like a d***, but what does pansexual mean?

1point

Dale 3 years ago

Ummmm it came from there being 2 biological genders which generally have very different characteristics, but now there is a "spectrum" that noone can explain truly, there are infinite genders? It is so convoluted now that we confuse gender identity and biological gender.

1point

Toujin C'Thlu 3 years ago

According to these posts, 'real men' are supposed to be filthy, unkempt, feel nothing but anger or lust, and do nothing other than run around having sex or beating people up. Shows how fragile masculinity has become for some.

11points

N G 3 years ago

But only penetrative sex with the penis - no cunnilingus (at least two posts say that's gay too). So more or less barely evolved cavemen.

5points

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Vermillion Ace #443 3 years ago

O . o; Most of this is just plain rotten, proof that masculinity is nothing more than a sham. I can't say I've really experienced any of this (other than being confused for a female, which doesn't irk me too much), but I feel sorry for anyone who has to put up with this kind of harassment. Be kind to each other, express yourself how you feel fit and don't give into their hatred and jealousy.

8points

Helena Houzarová 3 years ago

So gay now means cool? Okay, got it, gay! This language evolves so fast...

7points

Rakjell Hanwell 3 years ago

This also goes the other way around- I am gay and the things I am apparently supposed to do and like just because I am gay are ridiculous. And even worse, the things I am apparently not 'allowed' to do, because it doesn't fit someones idea of a gay man (especially young white women seem to have a lot of unwritten rules for us). Sexuality and personality are not determined by whom you go to bed with. My best friend (who is straight) often got told by his family that his hobbies are 'gay' and that he should be more like me. Turned awkward quickly when people realized that I am the gay one (and that I support my friend in all of his hobbies).

6points

Brendan 3 years ago (edited)

My ex gf thought I was gay (before we got together) because I was really nice. Says a lot about people's perception of straight guys.

5points

Something 3 years ago

If these were all true, it would make nearly all men gay.

4points

htbq 3 years ago

in middle school had a girl tell me to look at the bottom of my shoe. so i lifted my foot in front of me sideways to look under. girl said that i was straight. i asked what the hell is going on. she said that if you lift your shoe from the back and looked behind you then thats gay. told her whatever and moved on with my life.

3points

Mark LaHoud 3 years ago

When I was about 30 I had way more male admirers than female (I was/am married & straight). One in particular starting stalking the restaurant I ran and couldn't believe that. I called a friend who is gay and very open - "tell me, do I seem gay?" he said yes. Details please? So here's how I learned I must be gay: 1. I'm always groomed 2. I'm sociable 3. I make eye contact a lot 4. I'm stylish (so he says) 5. I like musicals 6. I go to piano bars 7. I like Queen 8. I can spell 9. I sleep in a queen-size bed 10. I sleep on a queen size mattress So there's the list in case I'm confused. I'm a f@#$%t and don't know it! (Damn, that was supposed to rhyme.)

2points

Sergio Bicerra 3 years ago

A friend from work outed to me, cause he thought I would understand. I thought it was because I am very aproachable to people, but no, he thought I was gay too, for some of the reasons you have posted. Not into musicals, and don't think i'm stylish.

0points

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Black Pug Puppy 3 years ago

All the comments I made on this post were sarcastic

2points

Sergio Bicerra 3 years ago

Even this one? I'm confused now ! XD

0points

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Susan Stead 3 years ago

My family thought I was gay because I lived in San Francisco. I guess once you step foot there, it's like "POOF!"

2points

Benjamin Thor Collier V 3 years ago

Easy....performing CPR on a male coworker. He recovered. We were both 'gay' after that. Even though we're both hetero. People are idiots...

2points

Anita Pickle 3 years ago

What I got from this is: homophobic = lazy, stinky, unorganized, doesn't respect women/children/animals/themselves, poor hygiene, wears clothes not appropriate for the weather, illiterate, jealous of people in relationships, and really the one we all know flat out ignorant

1point

Jill Bussey 3 years ago

Gay is not a problem. Homophobia is a problem. Skin of different colour is not a problem. Racism is a problem. Why is it so difficult to just be yourself? And so sad.

1point

El Dee 3 years ago

Toxic masculinity is everywhere but it looks like it's particularly in the US. These are AWFUL. My grandchildren won't, I hope, be growing up to face this (as much)

1point

Sam Yobado 3 years ago

I hope things are better, but a lot of these hit home. Liking the color purple, using an umbrella, crying after breaking my nose, being polite. It used to be a catchall for perceived femininity or weakness.

1point

Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago

So apparently in order to be straight a guy has to... be smelly and unhygienic, unmusical, unable to dance, an emotionless robot, not spend time with his girlfriend, definitely not marry a girl, be a bad father, a bad friend, unable to cook, unable to repair anything made of cloth, and never ever put his hands on his hips. Sounds bloody awful.

1point

Dynein 3 years ago

You know what's gayer than anything mentioned in the posts? Being so concerned about the difference. If you need to find any other definition than "not being attracted to men" to define yourself (and others) as straight, the definition must not be working for you...

1point

Gene Perry 9 months ago

Manscaping!

0points

Irma 1 year ago

First. And if they were actually gay, why would that hurt you. Second.. its not always about being gay or not. Sometimes here its just that people assume that the person you are with is your SO. Which happens with straight people too cause woman cant have male friends or someting. That kinda stuff

0points

Samuel Zhao 3 years ago

#14 If being a great dad is gay, then my dad is hella gay

0points

Ade Sidabutar 3 years ago

I'd rather be a gentleman even being told as gay than to be a jerk just because afraid of being told as gay.. What definition of 'gay' exactly anyway, it's so subjective in this articles

0points

Barbara Baldwin 3 years ago

Oh sweet baby cheeses! We're all gay!

0points

Hugo Raible 3 years ago

Reddit: Here are some things men struggle with. Bored Panda: Let's interview an "expert" to insult men with their feminist propaganda.

0points

fuggnuggins 3 years ago

This article is gay.

0points

Vanta Black 3 years ago

In college, I was helping a female classmate with her coursework, as she didn't understand some of the material. Another classmate said I was flirting with her, and when I denied it he said I "must be gay". She wasn't even my type. I've also been called gay because I can cook (common I know), being able to speak French, and wearing a baseball cap.

0points

Alejandro I. 3 years ago

For everyone out there: Be happy the way you are. The stories in this article make "gay" seem like an insult. I like purple, you like green. I like men (I am a woman), you like men and you are a man, what is the matter?

0points

Sky Render 3 years ago

Most of what I see in this article is how much of homophobic culture is built around using homophobia as a means of controlling behavior on a case-by-case basis. It would seem to me that it's less about fearing being "gay" as it is about conforming to expectations of what it means at that specific moment to be "straight", and thus any behavior that is undesirable by the party uttering the word "gay" is fair game, even if there is no logical reason for it. Fascinating.

0points

TmKhr 3 years ago

I've never done anything that someone would call "gay", but at one school a female friend asked if I was gay because I didn't have a girlfriend at the age of 23 :D I told her no, and she said she's always wanted a male gay friend. Well too bad it wasn't me.

0points

Renate Stargardt 3 years ago

(It was in the 80's) We were asked at school, what we would like to do for a living ... we were around 15. A male schoolmate said he would become a farmer and later run the family - farm with his mother. Some of his classmates laughed at him and said it was totally gay to want to work with your own mother. His mother ran one of the largest farms in the area, which she had inherited from her parents ... they grew fruits, vegetables and flowers. His father was a vet ... which, by the way, was also gay ?! One of the most ridiculous statements on the subject of "gay" I have ever heard ... till now!

0points

Bacony Cakes 3 years ago

tbh homosexuality is kinda gay

0points

Indigojinn 3 years ago

Not scoring a goal in football. Then not getting naked in the communal showers. Life in a 1980's London boys school.

0points

Ivy la Sangrienta 3 years ago

And this is why I taught my son early on that "gay" isn't an insult, and shouldn't be used as such. One of the few rules that I have.

0points

Gabriel 3 years ago

I can't get why people care about oter people's sexuality, it's not hard to mind your own business

0points

Tracy Wallick 3 years ago

I don't know where to begin, the homophobia of using 'gay' as an insult, or the fact that men are insulted for doing anything even distantly associated with femininity (and the face that being feminine is so terrible that it's used as an insult).

0points

Earl Grey 3 years ago

I had no earthly idea that there was so much fertile ground for this phobia. Umm, did that sound gay? 🤭

0points

Sean Harrison 3 years ago

I've had long hair since I was in High School, people (mostly other guys) frequently assume I'm gay just because of that.

0points

Sergio Bicerra 3 years ago

I have one: watching Sex & The City with my gf, and enjoying it. But the series, the movies were crap imo.

0points

Person #1,051 3 years ago (edited)

So: being safe, caring, hygenical, and having fun is gay. Why does gay sound like a complement now?

0points

Jackie Porter 3 years ago

I can't understand how calling someone 'gay' is an insult? Who the hell cares? Enjoy your life, do what you enjoy, where what you like etc. If others call you gay then it's their problem.

0points

Unidentified Individual 3 years ago

Once you hit a certain age you just stop caring. It’s extremely liberating!

0points

Seabeast 3 years ago

What a restricted life that must lead to.

0points

Sleepy Panda 3 years ago

My teen nephew was once told he was gay when he got a summer job working at a daycare center.

0points

Helwin 3 years ago

So apparently straight men can't wear pink, purple, red, bright colors... damn, that's sad !

0points

Marianne 3 years ago

This thread makes me feel like there is a large group of people who will call everything gay if they can't have it themselves or if they want to avoid to do something themselves. Very convenient.

0points

jk nbt 3 years ago

This will get you the label: two guys going out for burgers or tacos after playing afternoon tennis is gay to those who are quick to slap down the label. I am surrounded by pharisaical, judgmental, hypocritical jerks all the time. It gets old...

0points

jk nbt 3 years ago (edited)

in TX, drinking a cup of hot tea for afternoon break instead of a carbonated beverage will get you slapped with the "label".... With the sexual revolution now in its sixth decade, men are very insecure about sexuality, especially when it comes to their own. The solution is to label and categorize everything. This gives a feeling of control and macho superiority. To which I reply, guilty dog barks first. Kind of pathetic, actually...

0points

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