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Dan, the mastermind behind The Modern Man and an expert in dating and relationships, told Bored Panda that there are some exceptions to introducing your girlfriend to your social circle. "There can be times when he won’t introduce her to them for much longer, even though he is serious about the relationship and loves her." Context is important.

He gave some examples:

"There is drama in his family that he doesn’t want her to be aware of.
His family doesn’t respect him, or treat him well and he doesn’t want to be embarrassed in front of them.
He’s not close to his family and doesn’t see them as important in his life.
His ex-girlfriend caused a lot of problems for him and his family, so he wants to spend more time with his new girlfriend before introducing her.
He has a personal belief that a woman should only be introduced to his family if he intends to marry her and he’s not quite sure about marrying her yet."

There's also no set time, when we 'should' introduce our partners to the people we care about most. "It’s more of a gut instinct. If it feels right, do it. If it doesn’t, then delay it," Dan said to trust our gut.

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships If he’s cheating on someone else with you, he will absolutely cheat on you with someone else.

anthropocon , Dương Nhân Report

Final score:

569points

POST

2 years ago

i dont get how so many people dont understand this one

318points

signalstonoise88 , Bruno Salvadori Report

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships If he claims all his exes were “crazy” or similar. Think for a second about what was the common factor in all those relationships: him.

Final score:

523points

POST

Ansi 2 years ago

My first experience with a "nice guy" was exactly this. I didn't know guys could be that way and found it romantic that I quickly became "the one" after many crazy ex. I blame me reading"Romantic books" as they are really bad for young girls, they introduce a lot of toxic behaviour as normal and acceptable and even romantic. I learned really quick that books are not real life...

183points

Meanwhile, we really wanted to get to grips with the fact that some guys blame everyone else but themselves when something goes wrong. Bored Panda was interested to get the dating expert's thoughts on victimhood and confidence.

"Unfortunately, some people never get past that level of personal development and as a result, ruin relationships their entire life. It really takes a lot of motivation and follow-through to overcome that kind of behavior, which a lot of people simply don’t have," Dan, from The Modern Man, was candid that this level of change takes massive amounts of effort and time.

"However, if a man were to have that kind of motivation and willingness to follow through, he should set goals for himself and work towards achieving them no matter what. When he does that, he will begin to realize the amount of personal control and influence he has over his life," he said.

"A man like that will rarely overcome his victim mentality the first time he achieves a goal though. In almost all cases, he’ll need to keep achieving goals and will then gradually become a man who feels totally accountable for his life and doesn’t need to play the victim and blame others for his problems, or lack of success," dating expert Dan noted that it's a long process and deep change won't happen overnight. However, that still sounds motivational and optimistic to us.

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships Avoid people who are very polite and charming when they *want* something from those 'above' them, but are arrogant and demanding when they think they can *take* something from those 'below' them.

People who 'smile up' and 'kick down' are the worst.

CiderDrinker , krakenimages Report

Final score:

454points

POST

Chicken Nugget 2 years ago

That’s very manipulative

84points

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships Tried to find a less common one.

For people looking for a long term partner:

Beware when someone complains about everything and is seemingly the victim in every situation.

This is the type of person that will very quickly blame you if anything goes wrong, and is likely s******g on you to other people already. Secondly, it means you will be perpetually drained by the negativity over the long haul.

Kurupt-FM-1089 , Keira Burton Report

Final score:

449points

POST

Elijah Morningwood 2 years ago

Excuse me how did an internet stranger perfectly describe my father??? 🤔😂

183points

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships One saying I've always lived by is: Pay attention to how they treat waitresses. How they treat waitresses today is how they will treat you in 6 months.

b-monster666 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

445points

POST

I I 2 years ago

yeah service staff and animals , if their mean to those walk away

219points

Some guys have a very hard time admitting when they’re wrong and taking responsibility for their actions. They’re always the victim. They’re super defensive. And they’re always right—it’s everyone else who’s wrong. It’s really no way to live because you’re smothering your potential, existing in fear, and lashing out at the people closest to you.

Previously, fitness expert and entrepreneur Jack Bly, from the US, shared his thoughts with Bored Panda on the importance of self-reflection, improvement, confidence, and moving past a victim mentality.

"Do one thing and progress at it to prove you’re not a victim. Lift weights. Help someone. Advance your career. Have a successful relationship. When you’re successful in one area, you build confidence in yourself and that will translate to all of your life," he explained to us that building confidence starts with small steps. That’s the way to stop being a victim, according to him.

Fitness expert Jack noted that we all need time to adjust to the positive changes we’re making in life. "Your brain needs proof around your new identity,” he said.

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships Inability to clean up after themselves or do common household tasks

Wudchuck , Gary Barnes Report

Final score:

425points

POST

I I 2 years ago

man children never grow up , they want a mummy not a wife

176points

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships Holes in the drywall.

RUN

BMG1976 , Kim Siever Report

Final score:

387points

POST

Miocha 2 years ago

At this point I'm afraid to ask why.

102points

MusicalNerDnD , SHVETS production Report

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships Pushing small boundaries that aren’t a “big deal.” Then, once called out on it, backpedaling, apologizing for it and then DOING IT AGAIN.

Final score:

356points

POST

Ariel Strong 2 years ago

My mother does this

97points

According to him, real confidence is a skill that anyone can learn. However, it’s something that will take persistence, patience, and time. It won’t happen overnight.

"Confidence comes from repetition and mastery. The more you do ANYTHING, the more confident you become. The good news about this is everyone is capable of earning confidence," he told Bored Panda.

Self-reflection, for the fitness expert, is a vital component of improving one’s life. "Responding to failure is all about the story we tell ourselves. Do you tell yourself that you are a failure? Or do you tell yourself you failed, have now gotten feedback, and know how to get better? It’s all our perspective," he stressed that how we think, how we see ourselves, shapes who we are and how we act.

Embracing failure and seeing our mistakes as learning opportunities is the mature way of responding to what life might throw at us. Instead of throwing a temper tantrum or blaming ourselves for being ‘failures,’ we ought to realize that everything’s a temporary setback that we can definitely overcome.

#10

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships I defer to Chris Rock: If you have been dating a guy for four months and you haven’t met any of his friends, you are not his girlfriend.

GotMoFans , Helena Lopes Report

Final score:

354points

POST

Paul Pienkowski 2 years ago

My girlfriend legit has zero desire to meet my friends. We've been together for four years. I keep offering, she just isn't very social and takes forever to get comfortable with others.

109points

#11

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships A man that blames everyone else for his problems, lack of job, lack of friends, money, etc.

Somene that is unwilling to take personal responsibility for improving his situation in life.

dheffe01 , Kampus Production Report

Final score:

318points

POST

CHRIS DOMRES 2 years ago

Kind of like unemployable white men who blame Mexican laborers for stealing the work?

205points

#12

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships Inability to say sorry when they do something wrong.

Mandaface , Timur Weber Report

Final score:

305points

POST

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

This is a red flag both ways.

86points

#13

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships Sexual pressure after you directly reject an advance. Healthy people with your interests in mind only need to hear no one time and are respectful of boundaries if they bring it up again in the future.

freemason777 , cottonbro Report

Final score:

302points

POST

propgamer XL 2 years ago

Those exist? Amazing.

50points

#14

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships Refusing to admit that they could possibly be wrong. I have seen many men get super frustrated and aggressive over the idea that they could be possibly wrong about something.

To add onto this, many of these same men when presented with the proof of them being wrong they will either deflect or make it seem like it doesn't matter and that *you* were "making such a big deal about this".

We are all humans and we all make mistakes. I feel for many of these men they feel stupid and less "manly" if they are wrong about something. Being able to accept your mistakes and move on is a healthy trait.

Jomanderisreal , Alex Green Report

Final score:

287points

POST

Saico Hipe 2 years ago

Many men seem to (erroneously) believe that to admit to being wrong is a sign of weakness, as with many forms of vulnerability. A truly strong man is able to maintain a sense of humility, and to realize/embrace their mistakes as a way to grow and learn. No one is infallible, and one who tries to pretend they are is in fact displaying an extremely weak character.

107points

#15

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships If he checks your phone without permission, that to me is a huge red flag.

Mydogisphotogenic , Adrienn Report

Final score:

286points

POST

I I 2 years ago

35 years never checked my wife's phone once , just like her FB , it's HERS not mine , if she wants a private friend list so be it

122points

#16

These apply to everyone not just men.

Report

Final score:

278points

Circa

POST

Bored Retsuko 2 years ago (edited)

Most of them, yes. Edit: I'd like to elaborate a bit... The crucial thing is whether or not there is a power gap within the relationship. I've seen several pandas comment that their parents had such toxic traits (and so did mine). Clearly, between a parent (male or female) and a child, there's a power gap. Also, traditionally (and physically) there is a power gap in heterosexual relationships; that's why pointing out such red flags to women is a good thing, and if a man's knee jerk reaction is "but applies to women, too!", it may be a case of downplaying and minimizing this fact, as someone pointed out in the comments. But of course it is COMPLETELY possible to end up in a dependent relationship with a toxic female person; it's just much more frequent in heterosexual relationships to be on the woman's expense. Hope I got my point across... I didn't mean to offend or downplay anyone's experience. 🏳

133points

#17

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships Suddenly flying off the handle at a minor inconvenience. It's one thing to stub your toe at the end of a bad day and give the table a whack. It's another if every moment of stress or misfortune triggers rage.

thesaga , Vera Arsic Report

Final score:

261points

POST

I I 2 years ago

I had to learn to lower my tone , i'm short and grew up in a rough area so i was LOUD and swore a lot , not violent , i just had to act like i was

72points

#18

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships ALCOHOLISM.

gladtoknow , Tembela Bohle Report

Final score:

246points

POST

Dani M 2 years ago

Dropped my partner off at Rehab yesterday. 2-3 months.... let´s hope for the best.

165points

jl_theprofessor , Bahaa A. Shawqi Report

#19

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships Does he talk about always being ready to fight if necessary? Then he's a lunatic. Well adjusted people in things like MMA don't want to fight randomly and don't seek it out outside of the sport of it. Half the point is to have a place for your aggression in a controlled setting.

Final score:

227points

POST

OhForSmegSake 2 years ago (edited)

This can come from a place of trauma. People who've grown up or spent a long time being a victim of violence can feel like if they don't seem like they're always ready to defend themselves against physical attack they're automatically vulnerable.

14points

#20

If he is overtly angry when you talk to other people, (specifically other men) that's a major red flag and he's probably gonna start to be possessive over you by not letting you talk to anyone else.

daddytoelicker Report

Final score:

227points

POST

Chicken Nugget 2 years ago

Very paranoid

31points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#21

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships If he talks about his ex too much. As someone who was in love with an ex for way too long, I was not ready for a relationship with anyone else.

swervin87 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

Final score:

220points

POST

Alicia M 2 years ago

No one should go into a new relationship talking about their ex. I don't care if your ex was wonderful. They are an ex. You are only hurting yourself, and possibly your romantic interest, by carrying on about your previous relationships.

52points

#22

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships Only talks about themselves

PaleRhinos , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

208points

POST

Beeps 2 years ago

Or just generally talking nonstop and not letting you speak. I once got that at a first date, but made excuses for him, thinking he was just nervous, but nope, when we were in a relationship, he was still constantly just talking at me and interrupting me the minute I spoke.

78points

#23

I’ll die on this hill: every man I’ve ever known who was an *outspoken* feminist was horrible to women behind the scenes.

tenaciousDaniel Report

Final score:

207points

POST

Tim Pateman 2 years ago

Much better to be a feminist by action - get on with raising the kids, cooking the meals, or just going down on a woman.

135points

Quality-vs-Quantity Report

#24

Emotional manipulation, trying to guilt trap you

Final score:

195points

POST

Saico Hipe 2 years ago

The pedant in me wanted to say, "I think you mean guilt *trip,*" but after thinking about it a moment, 'guilt trap' also works. Perhaps even better 🤔

91points

Josh Gilland 2 years ago

Agreed sounded wrong but more accurate

3points

Jestinna Welch 2 years ago

Played out in my brain the exact same way 😅

2points

Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago

HAHAHA! Grammar Nazi myself thought the same thing. Nice save.

0points

Adam Zad 2 years ago

Pack your bags, we're goin' on a guilt trip!

4points

Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago

Gas lighting! Horrible!

3points

M Paxton 2 years ago

Also watch for gaslighting. If you start standing up for yourself, he starts accusing and asking what is wrong with YOU, or blaming your reactions on the full moon or pms.

2points

Terri Martin 2 years ago

My ex threatened and actually attempted suicide the one time I actually did leave. He trapped me for 8 years before I escaped his emotional blackmail.

1point

Robert Giese 2 years ago (edited)

Yeah, again, anyone who does this is just trash. Lightly teasing each other when your partnership and relationship are built up is one this, but to hold things against a person is garbage.

1point

Pamela Blue 2 years ago

I got that a lot from my ex. Emotional abuse at its worst.

1point

Monica G 2 months ago

Narcissists push their partners to cheat in order to get moral high ground, among other advantages.

0points

Ambry Petersen 2 years ago

Your children will try doing this to you alot, small wonder mothers develop a thick skin lol.

0points

Elisabeth Middleton 2 years ago

A lot of women. Do this too.

0points

Sonnovab Kegeles 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#25

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships If a guy tells you he's no good, listen.

JackPoe , Nik Shuliahin Report

Final score:

182points

POST

Bored Retsuko 2 years ago (edited)

I disagree. Someone who says this might simply suffer from low self-esteem. Not great but not necessarily a horrible thing... The idea is to lower the other person's expectations because one is afraid to be seen as a disappointment lateron... typical coping mechanism if you were never good enough when you grew up. Source: been there, done that.

133points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#26

His hyper focus on money. While this might be a plus in some women's opinion, this can also be a HUGE red flag.

I knew some men that was so focused on money they tried to put a price on everything, even a woman, her actions, her respect and what he is allowed to do simply because he pays for it.
This has serious ramifications due to him keeping track of everything he does for a woman and coming up with some weird idea that you owe him when things start to fall apart in the relationship.
Just keep an eye out.🚩🚩🚩

Brown_bear82 Report

Final score:

182points

POST

Chicken Nugget 2 years ago

Too money centered is not a good thing!

47points

Positive_Balance620 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

#27

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships If he doesn't put in an effort to make you happy. It doesn't have to make you happy whatever he does but the fact he's putting in the effort means he truly cares about you enough that he cares about your mental health as well. Goes both ways.

Final score:

177points

POST

Chicken Nugget 2 years ago

A good SO always thinks about their lover!

37points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#28

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships If they wear sunglasses at night. You should never masquerade with the guy in the shades

ZonkedTheBoy , Phil Nguyen Report

Final score:

177points

POST

Jihana 2 years ago

Well, I sometimes wear sunglasses at night. I suffer from migraines and light just hurts.

162points

#29

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships Calls himself a feminist and apologizes on behalf of men. Political nice guy red flag. Bonus points if he apologize for being a man himself. He's trying to get in someone's pants.

This is not a call out of men who are feminist but those that wear the label but only engage in call out hot takes ie feels good in the moment but does the opposite of helping anything.

firekstk , RODNAE Productions Report

Final score:

169points

POST

I I 2 years ago

you guys know some right creeps

55points

#30

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships Goes for both sexes... If the person has no hobbies. Now you are their new hobby.

blueboy664 Report

Final score:

148points

POST

Gabriel Vonadler 2 years ago (edited)

Not everybody need or want a hobby 🤷‍♂️ My "hobby "is the same like the carton bull 's Ferdinand...smell the roses 😂

66points

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#31

If his first reaction to any type of minor conflict is anger. Here, when I mean conflicts I mean little things - disagreeing with a fact stated, where to have dinner, minor customer service issues.

If the first tool they reach for is anger for minor things, that is the tool they will always reach for first. People change, but this is a pretty fundamental personality aspect and unlikely outside of intervention.

crazyrich Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Ariel Strong 2 years ago

My husband's reaction to minor (or major) conflicts is silence. He's very good at keeping his cool for other people's sake

5points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#32

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don't Want To End Up In Awful Relationships If he agrees with everything you say, it's likely that he's not being himself and that he's telling you what he thinks you want to hear which he thinks may help him get what he wants

GranTorin0 , Helena Lopes Report

Final score:

27points

POST

Chicken Nugget 2 years ago

THhis might not be true since most of the time you find your so because of shared opinions

6points

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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What do you think ?

POST

jonathan rasco 2 years ago

How are these exclusive to men though? As if it's okay when women show the same red flags.

25points

Vera1 2 years ago (edited)

It’s is not. However, unfortunately, the vast majority of domestic abusers are men. And the vast majority of victims of those men are women. Therefore, it’s even more imperative that we educate women about red flags in men that often escalate into abuse.

31points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

Correct. But not a vast majority. It's actually 1:5 (women) vs 1:7 (men). https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/images/ipv/how-big-is-the-problem-ipv-large.PNG?_=80316

10points

Skeeter 2 years ago

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don’t Want To End Up In Awful Relationships. That's why. Start a new list of WOMEN sharing red flags.

3points

Charles Williams 2 years ago

It's sad how they always bash men not realizing that women do the same bad things. Sometimes, women will do them more often and more harshly.

1point

Austin Axley 2 years ago

I feel like they should add as a red flag anyone who reads these and their first response is "BuT dA waHmENs CaN hAvE tHeSe TOo!"

1point

Brian Stanton 2 years ago

Number 17

0points

Megan Maisano 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Becca Hauck 2 years ago

Who said it was okay for women to do these things? Why are you so defensive? I thought it was women that are supposed to be too emotional?

-3points

guyx23 Premium 2 years ago

Ok but like 80% of what's listed here are generic toxic behaviors, that aren't exclusive to men.

21points

Penguin2224 2 years ago

Or dating/marriage style relationships

4points

pelemele 2 years ago

As said above, the vast majority of these examples can apply to both women and men.

17points

cathy hurd 2 years ago

If he's 'too' good to mommy. I've spent 36 years competing with his mother. She treats me like dirt, unless she needs something and he continually makes excuses for her or blames me. Now I know why his brother and family live so far away.

16points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Oh yeah. If mommy is always going to be the first woman/love in his life, don't even start. You'll end up sitting on the sidelines watching him have a mother-son dance at your wedding with your new MiL in a beaded, floor-length white gown.

3points

Dirk Daring 2 years ago (edited)

Any guy who refers to himself as an "Alpha Male" is *severely* insecure on the inside, so they have to be outwardly obnoxious to compensate for it.

15points

Egg 2 years ago

Any guy who refers to himself as an alpha male is in fact a beta male, and by that I mean a small d**k piece of s**t

1point

Helen Waight 2 years ago

One sadly learned from experience: if he at any point says you can’t leave the relationship without agreement from BOTH sides - run. Or if he uses the ‘we’re in a relationship that means you can’t say no to anything I want to do in bed’

10points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

"I have a say in this, too!" No, you don't.

1point

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago (edited)

I learned a few others the hard way, too. 1) He "tests" you with little lies/jokes to see your reaction. 2) Calls himself "a nice guy" or brags about how "responsible" he is. 3) Shows up places where you are to "surprise" you. 4) Lovebombing/rushing things/saying "I love you" right away. 5) You are always the butt of the joke, and/or when you're with friends, he's always mocking you and putting you down, but telling you privately that it's "just a joke." 6) They want you with them ALL. THE. TIME.

9points

marianne eliza 2 years ago

Aggressive driving.

7points

Redemption Happens 2 years ago

True. This needs to be upvoted more.

2points

Becca Hauck 2 years ago

My fiancee took me to meet his family and extended family. When he left to smoke, they all jumped on me about what a loser he was. I yelled at them about how horrible they all were. I was so mad. The next time he went to smoke, I went with him and so did one of his uncles. His uncle told me that you don't marry single moms, you just sleep with them. On and on about how worthless single moms are. I look at my fiancee with wide eyes (Uncle didn't know I was a single mother) and he shakes his head no to let me know I shouldn't say anything... And he didn't either. He was ready to fight anyone and everyone over anything but when it counted, he did nothing. Red flag.

7points

The Starsong Princess 2 years ago

Guys who never give gifts or celebrate holidays because they think it’s too commercial. It’s just a mask for lack of generosity.

6points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

And they don't want to have to remember things and make an effort.

5points

Redemption Happens 2 years ago

For men and women I’d like to add - Small acts of disrespect including speaking over you when you’re talking, interrupting, physically leaning on you when you don’t want it or jabbing you with a finger for emphasis. Disrespect.

5points

Dave Hinckley 2 years ago

My wife and I are ridiculously lucky to have found each other 21 years ago next week.

5points

Anjelika 2 years ago

Red flag if he follows or likes Andrew Tate 💀

5points

Egg 2 years ago

Who?

7points

Laura Elizabeth 2 years ago

If he comes down to the comments section of an article like this and does some version of “this applies to everyone though”. Of course it does, but we’re not talking about everyone here. Defensive at a perceived slight- red flag.

4points

RandomCitizen 2 years ago

There are a lot of people, male and female pointing out the same thing.

0points

LucyGoosey 2 years ago

If he's an older guy and you're a younger woman...

4points

Steve Kenney 2 years ago

Why can't we get some articles caled "Guys, 22 examples of toxic behaviour in women" or "Guys share examples of terrible dates" I get it men are the statistically more often the abusers but women are not all innocent and pure, some of them are downright terrible.

4points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

You know you can write and publish articles here yourself, right? Go ahead and do it! Or make one that's gender neutral.

13points

Becca Hauck 2 years ago

Why are y'all so defensive?

1point

Klara Lorinczi 2 years ago

When I was younger, I thought all the really bad people were always men. Then in my 30’s I became friends with a strange girl I met at work. Turned out she’s narcissistic. She not only believes she’s better than everyone else, she’s unable to separate her fantasies from reality. She treats all the men in her life like c**p. Now I know women can be monsters too.

0points

propgamer XL 2 years ago

I'll make one. I can't go away here. They refuse to remove my account. This may be a great way to get downvoted and banned. Lets start about gold diggers and dominant women. Fun idea.

0points

Laura Elizabeth 2 years ago

If he ever refers to himself as a “nice guy”. You shouldn’t have say that, it should be obvious. Run.

3points

Diolla 2 years ago (edited)

Another big one: if he doesn't have any, or very strained, contact with all of his family members. Am not talking about ppl who were raised in a foster system, or have a past of being abused (= having legitimate reasons). This is about ppl who just act like they have no family even though they are there and/ or dismiss their entire family as idiots/ bad people. Often this type of person does not have any real or long-time friends either. Their family probably does not want anything to do with THEM, not the other way around. And that's for a reason. Not exclusive to men of course.

2points

anarkzie 2 years ago

Most people that have strained contact with their family members is due to some kind of abuse or neglect in their past. It may not be apparent on the surface but people don't just turn away from their support network without some kind of catalyst. Often what you're seeing is the result of a maladaptive copying mechanism that served them in their developing years but is not working in their adult years.

2points

Mirei Mikagura 2 years ago

Most of these can apply to anyone regardless of gender. Toxic is toxic, full stop. In my experience, #23 is dangerous. It could just be that the person has low self esteem (which I can understand and be supportive and encouraging for) but sometimes it's also a way for manipulative people to avoid responsibility. To me, this one is hard to spot unless it's happened enough for a pattern to be visible. The rest are plain as day, easy to spot, for me, especially anything related to a tendency towards violence and rage (two of the most unattractive qualities a partner can have, besides dishonesty).

2points

B B 2 years ago

This sounds very much like a few women I know.

1point

ellesarah spalding 2 years ago

The drywall sign COULD SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE FROM DV. THIS NEEDS TO BE #1 not #8. I read this reddit post a few days ago. This was mentioned so many times and was THE NUMBER ONE sign/red flag by number up upvotes. EDITOR & WRITER: please put this FIRST. This to protect against violence

1point

Sam 2 years ago

Love all the comments that are "not just men though". A HUGE sign of someone who still has not looked through a woman's perspective. As pointed out before, it's power dynamics. When men get into relationships with toxic women showcasing these traits, they do not typically end up dead, abused, raped, or trapped in a marriage/living situation with said person. While women trapped in this relationship dynamic very, very, VERY often do. It costs them their friends and family and safety and mental health, and sometimes lives. And very often (especially with the Roe v Wade horror reality we live in now), their children get trapped with these abusive men too (as shown by EVERY commenter saying "literally my dad").

1point

Ebony E. 2 years ago

26 and 30 remind me of Twilight I can't even 🤦🏾‍♀️

1point

Rose 2 years ago

I wanted to add that some of these “toxic” traits are signs of unchecked mental and emotional illnesses or trauma. These things can improve with therapy and long term effort! Sometimes it seems like these “red flag” discussions encourage people to drop anyone with any problems.. but seriously, I think everyone including me and you have some red-flag behaviors that we need to work on.

1point

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago (edited)

This is an important point. There may be a few things to flag in the initial stages, but it doesn't always end up being a deal-breaker. My depression is absolutely a red flag, but the fact that I'm committed to continually managing it mitigates that. Still, if I were single and dating, it's something that others would and should note, and I get that many wouldn't want to even start a relationship because of the potential problems. Sure, that hole in the drywall might be innocent, but it's always contextual. If there are holes in the drywall, he drives like an a*****e, and he is a jerk to baristas, that shows a bigger picture.

0points

Aaron Matye 2 years ago

Here's one. If they still hold emotional pain from past experiences. And I mean, in a not so normal/healthy way. I learned this the hard way, as my ex held on to every little thing (and also had communication issues), so it piled up over the years. This generally stems from childhood issues (same with communication issues).

1point

Shane S 1 month ago

Someone who doesn’t know how to adult. Do they make doctor appointments? Do they know how to pay their bills? Are they at least somewhat thinking about the future when it comes to finances or security? If not, you don’t have a new partner; you have a new child.

0points

Stephen Duff 2 years ago (edited)

I know this won't be a popular opinion. But the reason woman date and even stay with the jerks, big mouths, cheaters, abusers, etc. is because woman especially young woman have very primitive minds when it comes to picking a mate. I know a woman in her late 50s and she still pines after a man that treated her like c**p.

0points

Tran Samerica 2 years ago

Some of these may be pretty close to spot on advice but quite a few are absolutely over generalizations and a couple are pure bullsh*^😎

0points

Annie Bieber 2 years ago (edited)

Fifteen Minutes...a wise friend told me eons ago a person will tell you all about themselves, if you look and listen in 15mins. My perfect example: 1st date on the way to dine it's silent, asked the guy to tell me 5 things about himself; favorite color...ANYTHING...he sputtered a bit & launched into "My Ex..blah blah blah..." 🚩Numero Uno. At dinner he seated me w/my back to the room facing the wall. 🚩Part Deux. I make eye contact Always...I having nothing but the wall and his eyes to look at promted a "Why do you keep Staring at me" tesponse...We're 🚩🚩🚩for three. Did I listen...Hell no, cuz I'm an idiot...did I lose my self esteem, money and anything else I valued? Hell yes...cuz I'm an idiot.🙄 Have I ever dated in the nine years since, or will I again? Hell No cuz I did not listen to my own advise, can't trust my instincts and...I'm an Idiot. 😱 For ALL genders, no matter how you Identify...if you see/hear the First 🚩 Flag, take it from a bitter born again-vergin...Run...just Run...Please🙏

0points

Brian Stanton 2 years ago

These def cut across genders, #17

0points

Ryan Oliver Tan 2 years ago

Name one person Man or Woman who does not poses any of those traits, just one. seems like an impossible task, like finding the most perfect human that ever existed.

0points

JustinTime 2 years ago

Crying after he masturbates

0points

anarkzie 2 years ago

Lol, What????

1point

Whitefox 2 years ago

If you really want to see someone's true colors, take em to play pool. You will learn really quick what type of temperament they have.

0points

Wicked Moon216 2 years ago

I'd say, "I'm happy to go play pool, but I'm warning you, I completely SUCK at it, lol". I've only played a couple of times in my life. I do think it's fun though!!

0points

Eb 2 years ago

Sends flowers or gifts to your workplace, or finds you on social media so you're always visible to him. Stalker.

0points

General Anaesthesia 2 years ago

Keeping a hat on indoors is not classy.

0points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

Not at all. If you are jewish you are required to wear your hat (yarmulke) at all times. If you are hassidic as a woman you must wear your shawl at all times. So no. Furthermore, in a cold country, I found as an african that it was too cold unless I always wore a hat. (Bald). So no.

2points

A falz 2 years ago (edited)

Red flag: being a great cook but he tells you everytime you cook something new he tells you to not make it again. Or that he doesn't eat sweets but a family member sends you a speciality candy found only in a certain place and you go to get a piece and it's gone and he tells you he ate because he didn't want it to go bad. Oh btw I didn't get a single piece of the candy. Or tells you not to join the conversation and to talk to the wife who doesn't say 2 words to you. And isn't saying anything. Goes back to college and refuses to give a copy of his scheduled classes (medical emergencies and elderly parents only living sibling). Won't spend a holiday with your family only his. Honeymoon just driving never stopping or enjoying any sightseeing in different towns just driving in freeways that are flat lands and nothing to look at and your board out of your mind

-2points

POST

jonathan rasco 2 years ago

How are these exclusive to men though? As if it's okay when women show the same red flags.

25points

Vera1 2 years ago (edited)

31points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

Correct. But not a vast majority. It's actually 1:5 (women) vs 1:7 (men). https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/images/ipv/how-big-is-the-problem-ipv-large.PNG?_=80316

10points

Skeeter 2 years ago

Men Are Sharing 30 Red Flags That Women Should Look Out For If They Don’t Want To End Up In Awful Relationships. That's why. Start a new list of WOMEN sharing red flags.

3points

Charles Williams 2 years ago

It's sad how they always bash men not realizing that women do the same bad things. Sometimes, women will do them more often and more harshly.

1point

Austin Axley 2 years ago

I feel like they should add as a red flag anyone who reads these and their first response is "BuT dA waHmENs CaN hAvE tHeSe TOo!"

1point

Brian Stanton 2 years ago

Number 17

0points

Megan Maisano 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Becca Hauck 2 years ago

Who said it was okay for women to do these things? Why are you so defensive? I thought it was women that are supposed to be too emotional?

-3points

guyx23 Premium 2 years ago

Ok but like 80% of what's listed here are generic toxic behaviors, that aren't exclusive to men.

21points

Penguin2224 2 years ago

Or dating/marriage style relationships

4points

pelemele 2 years ago

As said above, the vast majority of these examples can apply to both women and men.

17points

cathy hurd 2 years ago

16points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

3points

Dirk Daring 2 years ago (edited)

Any guy who refers to himself as an "Alpha Male" is *severely* insecure on the inside, so they have to be outwardly obnoxious to compensate for it.

15points

Egg 2 years ago

Any guy who refers to himself as an alpha male is in fact a beta male, and by that I mean a small d**k piece of s**t

1point

Helen Waight 2 years ago

10points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

"I have a say in this, too!" No, you don't.

1point

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago (edited)

9points

marianne eliza 2 years ago

Aggressive driving.

7points

Redemption Happens 2 years ago

True. This needs to be upvoted more.

2points

Becca Hauck 2 years ago

7points

The Starsong Princess 2 years ago

Guys who never give gifts or celebrate holidays because they think it’s too commercial. It’s just a mask for lack of generosity.

6points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

And they don't want to have to remember things and make an effort.

5points

Redemption Happens 2 years ago

5points

Dave Hinckley 2 years ago

My wife and I are ridiculously lucky to have found each other 21 years ago next week.

5points

Anjelika 2 years ago

Red flag if he follows or likes Andrew Tate 💀

5points

Egg 2 years ago

Who?

7points

Laura Elizabeth 2 years ago

4points

RandomCitizen 2 years ago

There are a lot of people, male and female pointing out the same thing.

0points

LucyGoosey 2 years ago

If he's an older guy and you're a younger woman...

4points

Steve Kenney 2 years ago

4points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

You know you can write and publish articles here yourself, right? Go ahead and do it! Or make one that's gender neutral.

13points

Becca Hauck 2 years ago

Why are y'all so defensive?

1point

Klara Lorinczi 2 years ago

0points

propgamer XL 2 years ago

I'll make one. I can't go away here. They refuse to remove my account. This may be a great way to get downvoted and banned. Lets start about gold diggers and dominant women. Fun idea.

0points

Laura Elizabeth 2 years ago

If he ever refers to himself as a “nice guy”. You shouldn’t have say that, it should be obvious. Run.

3points

Diolla 2 years ago (edited)

2points

anarkzie 2 years ago

2points

Mirei Mikagura 2 years ago

2points

B B 2 years ago

This sounds very much like a few women I know.

1point

ellesarah spalding 2 years ago

1point

Sam 2 years ago

1point

Ebony E. 2 years ago

26 and 30 remind me of Twilight I can't even 🤦🏾‍♀️

1point

Rose 2 years ago

1point

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago (edited)

0points

Aaron Matye 2 years ago

1point

Shane S 1 month ago

0points

Stephen Duff 2 years ago (edited)

0points

Tran Samerica 2 years ago

Some of these may be pretty close to spot on advice but quite a few are absolutely over generalizations and a couple are pure bullsh*^😎

0points

Annie Bieber 2 years ago (edited)

0points

Brian Stanton 2 years ago

These def cut across genders, #17

0points

Ryan Oliver Tan 2 years ago

Name one person Man or Woman who does not poses any of those traits, just one. seems like an impossible task, like finding the most perfect human that ever existed.

0points

JustinTime 2 years ago

Crying after he masturbates

0points

anarkzie 2 years ago

Lol, What????

1point

Whitefox 2 years ago

If you really want to see someone's true colors, take em to play pool. You will learn really quick what type of temperament they have.

0points

Wicked Moon216 2 years ago

I'd say, "I'm happy to go play pool, but I'm warning you, I completely SUCK at it, lol". I've only played a couple of times in my life. I do think it's fun though!!

0points

Eb 2 years ago

Sends flowers or gifts to your workplace, or finds you on social media so you're always visible to him. Stalker.

0points

General Anaesthesia 2 years ago

Keeping a hat on indoors is not classy.

0points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

2points