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Someone Asked Men To Open Up About The Last Time They Cried, 30 Gave Honest Answers
Crying is a healthy way to process your emotions, and it can have a range of emotional and physical benefits. It activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which, in turn, puts us in a “rest and digest” mode, helping our body relax after a time of stress. Crying releases oxytocin and endorphins, hormones that can soothe pain and lift our mood, helping us feel better.
Still, many find it difficult to do. Especially men. Yes, they have significantly lower levels of prolactin (another hormone, only this one is found in emotional tears) compared to women, but societal stereotypes and expectations discourage them from displaying emotional tears. However, suppressing your feelings can make it harder to cope with life and seek support.
In an attempt to encourage folks to open up, Redditor u/xeowa made a post on the platform, asking men when was the last time they cried and why. Luckily, many stepped up and shared their answers.
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#1
Crying in my car right now.
My wife has cancer. It scares me to death. I have to be brave at home. My car has become my place to escape to cry and release my fear and sorrow
Brittania Kelli 1 year ago
If you are in a similar situation please find a support group. As a cancer survivor I can say it is sometimes harder on the patient's family and there is no shame in seeking help.
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#2
When I had to put my cat to sleep in December. We had 18 years with her.
#3
Last night sent my girlfriend the basic Good night message. She replied back with “I love you”. Sat there and started crying over the fact that she is the most important person in my life and that I'm so lucky that this woman loves me.
#4
Last September.
There was a recent shooting here. While it was happening, my kids were getting texts on who it was and all of their internet postings.
His intentions were to shoot up their high school on the first day of class. He got impatient, and instead shot up our local grocery store a week before.
My daughter asked me if she could skip the first day of school. It was that moment that I realized our society had completely failed our children. We talked about it and she mentioned that everybody thinks it is pathetic that older people have completely given up on them.
That is when I realized that they are just as intelligent as we are...and they realize that all of us adults are "Pathetic". We just let people kill them and they recognize that.
#5
A couple of years ago I had a dream about my mom. I was just talking, catching up, then I remembered she passed away. I just hugged her and started crying, yelling 'I miss you!' She hugged me back and said 'I miss you too.'
Then I woke up and cried for 30 minutes.
Thomas Lourenço 1 year ago
The same thing happened to me las month, same situation same words. It's been a year, love you mom.
#6
January 4th. On January 1st, I got a message from my dad that the family dog had a stroke and passed away in the front yard.
During the time before I stood at his grave just before I left to head back to my home, I just didn’t cry, I was questioning why I wasn’t.
Then standing at his grave, just a rush of emotions came in and just sobbed my heart out, then got in the car with my girlfriend and had to drive home.
His name was Snitchel and he was a good 14 year old pupper.
I’m 21, so he was a part of my life for about 70% of it. Was hard to say goodbye, especially because I wasn’t able to see him on Christmas because I got Covid, and I didn’t get to see him open his Christmas gifts like he usually does, during Christmas and in general during his final days.
freakingbee is going offline 1 year ago
i'm so sorry. losing a dog is one of the hardest things in the world.
#7
Two weeks ago. When it really hit me how much I let my managers abuse me. I quit a few days later and I start my new job on the 27th.
#8
December last year, my wife shared with me that we are pregnant.
It’s something we have both wanted for such a long time, when she showed me the test I was so happy I just burst into tears right in front of her.
#10
3 weeks ago. My best friend took his own life and left behind his wife and 2 kids.
That One Cat 1 year ago
In Christmas of 2021 my dad’s best friend took his own life, probably due to the isolation of the pandemic and that was the first time I had seen my dad cry. Suicide is awful and sadly seems to be the escape from life. Especially in men.
#11
May 2021. My wife had a cerebral stroke. I thought that I will lose her, by death or by being a vegetable/incapable of communication.
I felt like a log at the sea, purposeless, aimless. We have a daughter and I knew that I should remain strong for her, but my wife give me purpose... Without her, I'm incomplete. I'm less.
Just for God's grace she survived with almost no side effects.
StitchIsCuteAndFluffy 1 year ago
I’m so happy for you that everything worked out for the better! I would be scared to death if I lost my mom like that.
#12
Today, I am freshly 18, homeless, 0 contact with my family and in deep s**t :)
ambiguous Fox 1 year ago
OMG, I hope you find a place to live immediately. I hope you have friends that can support you. I hope your luck starts to turn. I wish you ALL the best! <3 <3 <3
#13
Few weeks ago. Friend died. Cried myself to sleep for a few nights.
#14
Tonight. My best friend told me that I don't make her happy, and that she doesn't want me in her life anymore.
I'm in love with her.
Despite the username, I'm a man, not a lesbian.
#15
5 minutes ago, my dad died of cancer recently.
devotedtodreams 1 year ago
I feel you, OP. Cancer sucks so hard, there are no words for it. Lost my Dad to it almost 4 years ago, and there have been many tears because of it.
#16
At the hospital with my 2 year old daughter. She just had a seizure in the waiting room. I felt so lost and useless...
But it cut the wait time down to seconds!
B 1 year ago
As someone who cares for a person with medicine resistant Epliepsy. It's ok to feel helpless you stand there thinking I wish I could fix this, but it's an electrical storm inside their brain. Go to every Dr appt ask the questions even if they seem dumb. Keep a notebook record of the seizures to show the Dr. Be diligent about them taking their meds & don't make a big deal of the seizures. The thing I learned from taking care of my husband is just be the face they see when they come to. They need reassurance they are ok. We have been through a fractured spine from a bad seizure, teeth knocked out , multiple head injuires etc but the one constant is he knows I will be there at every Dr appt & when he wakes up I will sit with him
#17
Earlier today. Reading a story about a 6 year old kid that was gunned down by his s**t step-father.
His gap-toothed smile in the photo set me off. I cannot comprehend the capacity to harm children like that.
#18
I don't remember. I feel so sad and lonely sometimes but I still can't cry. I wish I could cry like a kid again.
#19
Hey man, let me tell you, it's been a while since I last cried. But, that's not because I'm trying to be tough or anything. I just haven't been in a situation where I felt like crying. I think it's important for guys to recognize that it's okay to cry and show emotions. The last time I cried was when my grandpa passed away a few years ago. It was really tough to say goodbye to him and I couldn't hold back the tears. It felt good to let it all out though, and I think it helped me to process my emotions and come to terms with his passing. So, guys, don't be afraid to cry when you need to. It's a sign of strength, not weakness.
kansasmagic 1 year ago
Well said - several of these posts are variations on the theme of "being brave/strong," which is really just a way of saying "do not show emotion." It's not healthy. I increasingly think that it is important for adult men to have adult male friendships that allow for openness and vulnerability, and for men to support each other. Some men rely only on their girlfriend/wife for emotional support and it can be too much for one person to bear.
#20
My wife died.
Rwby Couch 1 year ago
Stupid Onion ninjas... these posts are so sad. Why is this world so effing terrible?!
#21
December 9th, my twin brother (26) passed away.
#22
I have a cat, one day he got sick and when the vet checked on him he said he needed to go to surgery right away, the chances of survival were low. Came back home that day bawling my eyes out thinking it was all over, he was so happy and normal one day and the next he was at risk of dying. Luckily the two surgeries went great and he survived.
#25
I've been posting this a lot lately: several weeks ago my former best friend and neighbor either broke into my house or had someone else do it for him and stole money from me. When I confronted him about this he physically assaulted me. The punches and the throwing me into the hedges cracking my ribs didn't make me cry, I took it, but later on when I realized he was in only using me and our friendship was completely a sham and was permanently severed is when I broke down.
I still haven't gotten over it. My ribs are finally healed and the bruises are gone (I do have a nasty scar on my eyebrow though that might never go away), but even today I still feel sad over losing what I thought was a good friend.
shawna Reich 1 year ago
no dont get even be a man and walk away from it...thats terrible that happened to you, im so sorry
#26
Recently, some cats on Reddit are just that damn cute.
#27
Last night, a picture of me and my buddy who took his life couple years popped up.
#28
A few months ago as I picked my dog up from the side of the highway. She was a prolific digger and liked to wander.
freakingbee is going offline 1 year ago
i'm guessing from the past tense that it didn't work out well :(
#29
3 years ago...
At my father's funeral.
The Sassy Wife 1 year ago
My husband and I have been together for 23 years. I had never before seen my husband shed a tear or heard that emotional voice crackle until the day of his mom's funeral. The moment his eyes welled up, myself and our five children lost it. It was such a heartbreaking moment to see him so fragile and lost. This was a piece of him that none of us had ever seen before. My MIL was an absolute angel of a woman and the extraordinary bond they shared showed that day.
#30
About 2 years ago, was dealing with a lot of work an personal s**t, was at my limit of s**t I can handle. I get a phone call that a childhood friend that I've known since we were 4 died in a car accident.
What do you think ?
3 Trash Pandas (She/They) 1 year ago
How do these people go years without crying? I cried just this morning because it's my last day of school. So many damn memories crammed into one room got me choked up.
crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago
A few days after my first boyfriend broke up with me. He came out as aromantic and since I'm hopeless in general I was absolutely crushed. I'm very stupid so I had thought it was a forever thing (everyone does when they fall in love for the first time I think) and i was having mental breakdowns every night blaming myself for f*****g up something perfect. It's been a bit and I still miss him, but we're staying friends and I'm more mentally alright now. I can definitely see why he broke up with me tho I'm overwhelming even for me. That was the first time I cried in like three years tho (not counting the time I tore my arm open and was awake for the stitches cause I barely cried then)
Evan not Hansen 1 year ago
Hey if he's aromantic he didn't break up because you're 'overwhelming', he broke up with you because he realized who he is, and that true self isn't one that romantically dates people. Don't put yourself down because of this, I know it's hard but you will find someone someday. <3
Load More Replies... devotedtodreams 1 year ago
On Monday, my Mom and I went to see Hans Zimmer live in concert. At the very end, there was a medley of Lion King songs, and the tears came. No sobbing, but just tears, both of happiness and sadness, all these emotions I felt due to the music. Aside from that, I've been high-strung for years now, so tears of frustration and/or rage are not too uncommon with me. And of course, missing my Dad (passed in 2019), and when I get scared of losing my Mom, who is my only anchor.
3 Trash Pandas (She/They) 1 year ago
How do these people go years without crying? I cried just this morning because it's my last day of school. So many damn memories crammed into one room got me choked up.
crowspectre (he/they) 1 year ago
A few days after my first boyfriend broke up with me. He came out as aromantic and since I'm hopeless in general I was absolutely crushed. I'm very stupid so I had thought it was a forever thing (everyone does when they fall in love for the first time I think) and i was having mental breakdowns every night blaming myself for f*****g up something perfect. It's been a bit and I still miss him, but we're staying friends and I'm more mentally alright now. I can definitely see why he broke up with me tho I'm overwhelming even for me. That was the first time I cried in like three years tho (not counting the time I tore my arm open and was awake for the stitches cause I barely cried then)
Evan not Hansen 1 year ago
Hey if he's aromantic he didn't break up because you're 'overwhelming', he broke up with you because he realized who he is, and that true self isn't one that romantically dates people. Don't put yourself down because of this, I know it's hard but you will find someone someday. <3
Load More Replies... devotedtodreams 1 year ago
On Monday, my Mom and I went to see Hans Zimmer live in concert. At the very end, there was a medley of Lion King songs, and the tears came. No sobbing, but just tears, both of happiness and sadness, all these emotions I felt due to the music. Aside from that, I've been high-strung for years now, so tears of frustration and/or rage are not too uncommon with me. And of course, missing my Dad (passed in 2019), and when I get scared of losing my Mom, who is my only anchor.
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