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"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating Trust me, men do NOT like it when women (like those your husband is friends with) play “hard to get.” It’s degrading, dehumanizing, and makes us feel like creeps. Women who act this way are really not worth our time and effort, anyway.

ArmariumEspata , Vera Arsic Report

Final score:

96points

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justanotherweirdo 7 months ago

What do they mean by “those your husband is friends with”?

56points

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating A lot of my gal pals are in relationships that they're absolutely miserable in (example: she has to lie to her boyfriend to hang out with literally anyone because "she's bi and she could cheat on him with anyone"), but won't leave because it's "better than nothing and they're waiting for someone better to come along". I almost died from the looks alone when I asked if "someone better" was the type of person who went after a woman in a committed relationship...

As for chasing a woman after she turns me down, absolutely not. You all spent the last 10 years drilling into our heads that No Means No and if you say No that's that.

A woman put it best: "Guys don't want to chase, they want to play Tag. You need to chase them too".

Slarg232 , Josh Willink Report

Final score:

83points

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A pug with bananas 7 months ago

That, is exactly what I think too.

12points

To learn more about the difficulties that men encounter when dating today, we reached out to dating and relationships coach Rachel New, who was kind enough to share her thoughts with Bored Panda.

First, Rachel noted that not knowing what the “rules” are is a common frustration for not only heterosexual men, but heterosexual women as well. "These men complain that they don’t know whether to take it slow (at both the messaging stage and moving the dates along to intimacy) and that women expect them to read their minds," the expert explained.

"And some of these women worry that they will come across as too keen if they want to meet up rather than message a lot, or that the man will think they aren’t interested if they take longer to be ready to meet or don’t want to kiss on a first date," Rachel says.

"Men are also expected to take the initiative to arrange the date, but can be criticized for 'taking over' or being too controlling or assertive," she continued. "And when they arrange the date, often the woman will not like what he has planned, particularly if it involves food."

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating Girls think that I am supposed to chase them. Jump through hoops to gain their approval. Nope. I match your energy and if you don't reciprocate I have zero patience for it. If they were genuinely interested they would put in tons more effort.

habbo311 , Klaus Nielsen Report

Final score:

83points

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similarly 7 months ago

I see nothing wrong with this. A relationship needs to feel equal, and if it doesn't, maybe the couple are not really compatible.

50points

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating From my perspective as a man, it is extremely difficult to know what a woman wants. So the chase is off the table because it is an extreme gamble of either successful getting a date or being labelled a creep. The chase should not be a thing because, as a guy, I will play it better safe than sorry. Communication is necessary. Don't make it harder by expecting me to understand vague hints. Direct communication is the best way to get what you want.

My gripe with dating apps is that a majority of women's profiles just have their snapchat or Instagram handle, and they expect me to text them on those apps. Why the heck should I have to use another app's texting feature when one exists on the dating app?

Zurg0Thrax , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

63points

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censorshipsucks 7 months ago

No if a woman has an instagram handle and doesn't want to communicate via the Tinder app, it means she is an influencer looking for followers, nothing more. Really. "Influencers" post pix on Tinder to get thirsty guys to follow them on the 'gram.

42points

DontTakePeopleSrsly , Budgeron Bach Report

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating I learned to avoid women that want a guy to chase them like the plague in middle school. This type of woman isn’t chasing love, she’s chasing anxiety.

It’s really the most toxic and unattractive thing a woman can do. Especially in a world of “no means no” and #metoo.

Final score:

61points

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Lotekguy 7 months ago

No matter who's sending them, mixed messages can keep a potential match from solidifying, or waste time by prolonging an inevitable split. If both can't be honest, they're either not emotionally ready, or with the wrong person, or both.

1point

The dating expert also noted that finding a partner today might be even harder than it was in the past. "These expectations for men to have a good income, take the lead, and be physically attractive have been around for centuries, but now there is an added desire for men to be confident and strong and comfortable with emotions and being vulnerable!" Rachel shared.

While there are some men that get a lot of attention on dating apps without much effort, that's not the case for everyone. "There is another subset of men that never get any matches or messages, partly because of the superficial nature of dating apps that are so focused on appearance," Rachel noted. "Research shows that men that have more to offer (skills of emotional connection, humor, empathy, listening skills, ability to take advice and change their views or behavior, and so on) will do better meeting people in real life."

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating How often women ghost. I don't much care about getting rejected, sure it sucks but it's an expectation we have going into dating, it's going to happen quite a lot. But for the love of god, reject me in any way except for ghosting.

At least if I get blocked, or insulted, or politely put down, I know the other person's intentions and can move on with my life. If I'm ghosted out of the blue, I have no way of knowing if the other person has moved on, or is just too busy to contact me, or is playing hard to get. I'd take getting directly rejected 100 times over the ambiguity of getting ghosted by someone I was interested in.

Edit: obviously ghosting is acceptable if the other person doesn't take no for an answer or otherwise makes you uncomfortable.

Splaaaty , Klaus Nielsen Report

Final score:

50points

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Amanda W 7 months ago

Sometimes it's out of an abundance of caution because some people don't handle rejection well. Or just to avoid conflict

29points

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating I have a playstation if I want to play games. If I'm into you, I'll tell you.

Screambloodyleprosy , Ron Lach Report

Final score:

40points

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Dawn Thomas-Cameron 7 months ago

"Come over to my house," or "Can I come to your house," is not an appropriate way to tell a woman you're into them. Especially on the first encounter.

13points

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating That women want you to approach them but are unapproachable at the same time.

___shadow_wolf__ , Keira Burton Report

Final score:

38points

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similarly 7 months ago

Get to know them first. Easier to tell if they want to be friends or more.

9points

WakeoftheStorm , Leeloo The First Report

But not everything about modern dating has made men's lives more difficult. "On the other hand, dating apps do make it easier for men to approach women without having to worry that they’re harassing them," Rachel says. "If you’re at the gym, at work or in a bar or café, it’s difficult to know whether talking to a woman is appropriate or an invasion of privacy, and of course, you don’t know if the woman is open to dating. (This applies to all genders and orientations, of course – but for heterosexual men, there is another layer of concern about safety and privilege.)"

#10

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating Only issue I've had is in gauging how quickly to escalate. Some women seem to lose interest if you move too slow, others get turned off if you push too quickly. Online dating really exaggerates this because you can't get feedback from body language during the conversation.

Final score:

33points

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similarly 7 months ago

One word: communication. Talk to your partner. If a person is not able to talk about intimacy, they're not ready for it.

35points

#11

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating The god-awful grueling scrutiny. Whatever happened to just two people having fun? Instead, you turn a date into a job interview nightmare with a bunch of gotcha questions and a 5-year plan.

anon , Mikhail Nilov Report

Final score:

31points

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Adrian 7 months ago

Really? How often does this happen?

20points

#12

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating I spent a week talking to you and asked if you’d like to meet and talk more. You went silent.

I moved on to another match. You came back a week later and asked how I was doing.

Are you dumb? Or are men that desperate to talk to a woman online and will forgive ghosting and making me wait on you hand and foot on your “precious” time as if my time isn’t valuable at all.

If you wonder why men don’t respond to you after you’ve made us wait a few days for a simple response, it’s because those are the good ones. We didn’t respond because you made us wait for a f*****g sentence.

AaronParan , Hannah Busing Report

Final score:

28points

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jellybean 7 months ago

eh makes sense, she should know that too

5points

A-Red-Guitar-Pick , cottonbro studio Report

The dating expert also shared some of the best advice she has for men dating in this modern world. "It’s helpful to understand that we can all be too judgmental about small things because they remind us of something that happened in a previous dating experience or relationship," Rachel says.

"We are vigilant because we want to protect ourselves from getting hurt or from disappointment. So when women say 'Don’t bother messaging me if …' on dating profiles, it sounds very intolerant but actually comes from a place of protection and empowerment: I deserve to be treated well and I’m not taking any risks," she explained.

#13

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating Modern dating is the most frustrating thing I've come across in modern dating.

Specifically how most people my age (20's) simply aren't trying to engage romantically outside of the s****y dating apps... and even if they do, the expectations are already so inflated by said apps it just becomes a frustrating ordeal for both parties.

Final score:

25points

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Zedrapazia 7 months ago

You can actually still get lucky just doing a hobby where people come together. I got my fiance through Discord because we both like the same videogames, a friend of mine found someone by playing DND and another had a relationship that came to be because they both liked anime and somehow got together because she told a store clerk she wanted to build a Gundam and he had experience and overheard this.

20points

#14

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating Thank God I'm not dating anymore. My problem was the ridiculous double standards out there and the cherry picking of feminist ideals when it was convenient. If you wanted something, you're misogynistic. If you didn't give something they wanted, you weren't chivalrous. If you want sex, you're a f**k boy. If she wanted money, she's just someone who knows her worth, not a gold digger. She is worth everything just because. You gotta prove what you bring for her.

anon , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

21points

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Ricardo Ferreira 7 months ago

I knew tons of women that behaved like that. They're all out of my life, thankyouverymuch.

10points

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#15

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating A lot of young women in my generation glorify cheating and have high expectations in what they want in a man but they don't meet those expectations themselves. That's why some of them get an older sugar daddy.

I worked at a predominantly woman dominated workplace for a number of years and some of these younger women will say s**t like they want a man that makes good money however they work a min wage job.

SirGanjaSpliffington , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

20points

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DC and S 7 months ago

As a woman in the same boat: a lot of this is universal; match but never responds, no effort, ghosting, lies/misleading, catfishing, Rejection frustration. The rest seems to be misconceptions. Most women don't want to be chased or set double standards. This is a reflection of an immature individual, as is any form of game and is the red flag you need to see. "you can't even talk to women anymore!" If you're coming across creepy, you're doing something wrong. Talk to us like we're humans with value outside of your physical interest. Like you, we want to be seen and heard. Of all the people you have ever known, how many would YOU date? Maybe 5%? Fact is most people you meet/match won't be interested in dating you (regardless of your gender). Looks may make a first impression but they are far from all that matters. Mutual interest and compatibility are rare. So sorting through all the weeds is par.for the course.

7points

Rachel also says that talking openly is the healthiest way to avoid these common misunderstandings and frustrations. "If you’re not sure whether you’re going too fast or slow, just ask 'What pace works best for you? I’ve found in the past that people vary in what they feel comfortable with, so it would be helpful for you to tell me if I’m going too slowly or quickly,'" the expert suggests. "It’s important that this is two-way: a woman who is in a good place for healthy dating will ask you back: 'What works best for you?'"

#16

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating The more I play into the f**kboy/player archetype, the better things go for me and while I do *like* when things go well for me, I don't like that it's because I embrace behaviors that I've been taught are counterproductive.

festival-papi , Budgeron Bach Report

Final score:

18points

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similarly 7 months ago

I think when you're older, with women who are more mature and more settled, you may find this attitude very different.

38points

Educational_Fig_2213 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

#17

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating If we approach it's "not appropriate and being creep even for something as small as Hi".

If we don't approach then "how are you supposed to get into relationship if you don't approach".

If we approach a women we know then they don't put the equal efforts and love the runner chaser dynamic.

If a women is interested in me then she won't put any efforts other than eye contact and later complain I don't get hints

and most of the women around me can't even hold conversations, others are just committed and not available.

Final score:

18points

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V. M. 7 months ago (edited)

Regardless of gender approaching someone isn't inapproproate per se, it really depends on the situation. Are you going to approach them at a bar, a hobby, or another place where social interaction with strangers is generally accepted and will you leave them the fcku alone if they say they're not interested? Totally fine, go for it, rooting for you 🤞 Or are you going to approach them at their job or in a situation where it's very clear that they don't want interaction (e.g. wearing earphones). Then please just don't. It's really not that hard and I've never heard anyone complain about the former.

13points

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#18

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating Generally I feel like the bad guy and that I'm under the microscope being judged under the umbrella of "ugh, men". It's so assumed that I'm like that that I cannot do anything right. In general my goals with dating are to find a person I like, connect with and get into a long term commitment. I don't do ONS, I don't like people coming into my home really. But here's the experience, you meet a girl, you invite her out quickly. That's too quick and you're a man so you're just trying to get her into bed. So you slow down try to be a bit longer, leave it up to her. Nope that's indecisive, you need to be clear and know what you want. So you go down the middle and take it at a pace you're comfortable with. Nope wrong again you've got to do it at her pace which if faster than your pace is wrong again. You're just expected to get everything right first time. Combine this with actually trying to get a date and especially with online dating you'll never be good enough, ever. It's always going to be "your photos aren't good enough, your bio isn't quite right" so putting the effort in after the 4th or 5th redo is just incredibly frustrating. Generally the standards you're expected to meet vary so rapidly but are hyperspecific, so you cannot meet them.

JPK12794 , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

16points

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Cosmikid 7 months ago

You need to get used to the fact that women who really WANT to be in a tight committed relationship - most likely ARE. The ones who are still "available" - ... may not sure they really want it - "The good ones are all taken" is a wail heard from all genders- and is not entirely untrue.

3points

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Rachel shared that she often discusses with her straight male clients the need to understand what might be driving the expectations of the other person. "Expecting someone to read your mind is unrealistic and often comes from an unmet need for a responsive caregiver," she noted.

"As very young infants, we need our caregivers to know when we’re hungry, tired, too hot or cold or distressed, and to respond appropriately. We can only cry at that stage, so we need them to read our minds. If we experience that responsiveness and attunement as young infants, we can move onto more emotionally mature developmental stages where we can simply request what we need and not feel wounded when people don’t always 'get' us immediately," Rachel explained.

#19

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating Dinner-view culture and expectations.

Honestly, the ROI isn’t there. The issue is not the price. It’s the return. It’s emptying to watch someone pic over an expensive dish and making small talk.

I would rather pay for a ticketed event, go to a museum, or hike, bike, kayak, golf, volunteer, run a race, etc. I know that I’m going to enjoy those things. I see a lot of women doing those things happily as well. Unfortunately, I have felt and been told (in a round about way and directly) that companionship is earned.

A genuine connection is rare and you’re less likely to find it over a “dinner-view” (talking about divorces, dating broken divorcees, finances, time with children, etc). Being in my late 40s, it’s important to enjoy my time. I date less frequently and usually it’s a female friend who has “got this really nice friend” when I do.

Wide-Expression5880 , Jep Gambardella Report

Final score:

15points

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Dawn Thomas-Cameron 7 months ago

I'd rather go out and do an activity other than f===ing, which is what the majority of guys, I find, want. Not that I'm a prude by any means but let's meet in public a couple times. Honestly.

25points

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#20

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating Gotta say the most frustrating thing we've seen lately is the judgement and worrying about what others think. Whether it be family, friends, etc. Whatever happened to just being happy.

Tokedout01 , Diva Plavalaguna Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Bec 7 months ago

Being judged for? Needs more context.

5points

#21

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating Women who show romantic interest and we grow closer together, but then when I try and take things to the next level, they pull back and say that they’re not emotionally ready to be in a relationship only to turn around and date someone else.

anon , SHVETS production Report

Final score:

12points

POST

SCP 4666 7 months ago

Like the guy in the previous post said "I have my playstation if I want to play games"

19points

Fragrant-Mousse-6613 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

"Recognizing when someone needs something (mindreading) from us that we can’t give helps us to decide when to move on from a dating experience or relationship," Rachel added. "Sometimes having an open discussion about their relationship template and expectations can be enough to help them see they need to change, but this needs to be done without criticism, blame or defensiveness."

"Ultimately, good relationship skills such as being able to discussing difficult emotional issues without it escalating are absolutely vital to navigating those early stages of dating, which is why I do a lot of work on those skills with people so they are ready when the right person comes along!" the expert shared.

If you'd like to gain insight into your own relationships or check out Rachel's dating workbook, be sure to visit her website!

#22

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating I tend to feel like I’m in a psych ward. You know how talking too much = anxiety, taking not enough = depression? Everything you do is the wrong thing to do.

If I chase when it’s not wanted, I’m seen as obsessed. If I don’t chase when it’s wanted, I’m seen as uninterested. But I am completely unable to tell who wants to be chased and doesn’t want to and asking for clarification is kinda taboo. So it’s kind of a guessing game but if I f**k up, the gossip could spread to future potential partners. So a lot of us lean toward “Better safe than sorry” meaning we don’t ask. But then women think we don’t like them or care about them or whatever. Idk if you can understand how this would drive someone crazy trying to navigate this. I’ve had the most success being detached and only pursuing women who express enough interest in me that it’s distinguishable from friendliness because that takes the guess work out of it.

Final score:

11points

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LB 7 months ago

I feel like this is a really sensible approach: I’ve had the most success [...] only pursuing women who express enough interest in me that it’s distinguishable from friendliness because that takes the guess work out of it. I don't know why that has to be labelled as 'detached'.

5points

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#23

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating I’ll tackle the older end of things, as I am in my 50s.

That saying that women control access to sex and men control access to relationships is absolutely true as you get older. He’s looking for someone to f**k who he might eventually like a relationship with. She’s looking for a relationship with someone who she might eventually f**k.

First dates with women my age turn into financial and relationship history colonoscopies. They want to know details of your financial prospects so they know if you can either keep up or provide and they want to know what they are getting into because they are looking for the guy they hope to be buried next to someday. ON A FIRST DATE. They want to know the deepest and most painful details of why your first marriage failed that only your closest two friends in the world know…ON A FIRST DATE.

Meanwhile, most guys have been there and done that. And we just don’t understand why anyone would want to go through that hell again. We want someone we can laugh with, watch movies with, talk with, snuggle, and f**k. Why ruin that with a serious relationship? We aren’t thinking about long-term relationships yet. If it leads to that, great. But that’s off the table for now and may never be on the table.

It makes for a lot of frustrating first date fails on both sides.

RickKassidy , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

8points

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Dawn Thomas-Cameron 7 months ago

How about something in between? Maybe a bit of the relationship before the f---ing. Maybe meeting in public a couple times versus inviting a stranger into your house (or vice versa).

22points

Ken Beattie 7 months ago

And that's exactly what he was talking about. Meet up, hang out, have some fun. No need to jump immediately to the forensic examination of past relationships and personal wealth and no need to immediately jump in the sack. I wouldn't expect to immediately wind up in bed with someone on a first date, but at the same time I don't expect to be grilled about my ex's, my finances, whether I have/want kids, etc.

1point

Ephemera Image 7 months ago

Translation, guy in his fifties wants to date younger women who will f**k on the first date and aren't savvy enough to ask the questions they will ask when they get older, after having gone through a few failed relationships.

10points

🦄 Unicorn Princess 7 months ago

F*****g seems to be what this person wants.

10points

Jess 7 months ago

and he isn't ready for a long-term relationships.. YET. Dude is in his 50s :D

8points

Tara L. 7 months ago

You sound terrible. You're also probably projecting your insecurities on women. I once went on a date with this guy & during our convo he asked what I did for work, I told him then asked what he did.... he blew up! Started ranting about how women only care about how much money men make, how women just want to be lazy & taken care of, etc. I got up & left. Like dude, am I not allowed to ask you the same questions you ask me? Fk that, you sound just like that creep. I bet you only hit on women who are inappropriately younger than you then whine that no one wants to fk your worthless a*s.

7points

Pittsburgh rare 7 months ago

That's a lot of words for "l'm only looking for sex"

6points

Cherry Lane 7 months ago

So in other words you are just a 50 yo f*ckboy. Very mature and not avoidant at all. (most of the men in the dating apps are just looking for someone to use and f*ck).

6points

Cosmikid 7 months ago

"financial and relationship history colonoscopies" LOL!!! brilliant.

3points

Karl 7 months ago

I’m in my 50s (& happily married) but still get propositioned every now and again (v.flattering). Were I available, I find the candidness of this refreshing from when I was younger. I suppose this is down to all parties having been round the block several times, having a certain degree of financial independence, emotional maturity, knowing exactly what you want from a relationship and the confidence to ask for it without wasting time.

3points

MurderMittens 7 months ago

Can men understand that sex implies an exclusive relationship unless otherwise specified?

1point

Sven Horlemann 7 months ago

I can relate to that (though being happily married 33 years).

1point

Alexandra Nara 7 months ago

Well , 50s and single too I get some of his points.. I don't search a relationship,don't need this to be happy or provided. I just like to know you and have a good time. If we vibe , we will both put easily effort to collect some more good times. This may slowly slide into a friendship,relationship or maybe just a shortterm memory, but there is nothing that can be forced. I ve got men, that didn't want relationships at the first day- and stayed many years as boyfriends.And I've got some searched for relationships but left the morning after. I've got some first dates ended good friends..So you never know what happens, just trust in the process and your gut.

1point

Charles McChristy 7 months ago

Gee, I wonder why you are single, lmao

0points

Ricardo Ferreira 7 months ago

If a first date sounds like a job interview - RUN.

-3points

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#24

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating Honestly some men have it way easier on the dating front while others like me struggle. Only thing I'd say is that it's a pain to chat with a wall, so much so that I just straight up give up.

If you're not participating in the conversation or even trying to have one, then I have no reason to be on the date.

Side note, dating apps are something there to ruin my mental health, confidence and any self image I've built for myself. Weeks of no matches into straight up ghosting from first hello whenever I do get one. Or then it's a scammer.

I guess in a nutshell, good date would be win-win for both participants, not just one person doing everything and getting "a reward". Going to a bar and getting one night stand or just straight up hiring hooker is easier, if you just wanna get off.

anon , Good Faces Agency Report

Final score:

4points

POST

censorshipsucks 7 months ago

It's easy to tell if she's a scammer. 1. She's attractive. 2. She uses funny english. 3. Photos show a foreign city behind her. 4. If you ask her local-specific stuff she can't answer, e.g. ask her which local restaurant she likes. 5. She asks you for cellphone data/airtime/petrol.

3points

#25

"It Makes Us Feel Like Creeps": 25 Men Share Their Issues With Modern Dating Barrier to entry is quite high, but also 'the bar is on the floor'. It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me, if the minimum standards are so low, but I still can't get a date.

MikeArrow , Andrew Neel Report

Final score:

3points

POST

E M 7 months ago

50% of the answers were the same. Men don't like women who want them to chase. Got it.

4points

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Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

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Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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What do you think ?

POST

Zedrapazia 7 months ago

A lot of these seem to be frustrated opinions of people that spent too much time on dating apps. Because these are exactly the strange, weirdly high double standard things you find there. People (no, it's obviously not only women!) that can't get out of the mindset that there could be someone "better" right around the corner so they are afraid to keep what they have. People that rather ghost than talk things out when it turns out it's not the right partner, causing both parties to have a longer grieving process. People that set standards way too high because Tinder and Bumble have so many people on that rationally the perfect match should exist - until it doesn't. Plus, the general shift of culture from women as little house keepers to independent people is still a shift in the making.

21points

Zedrapazia 7 months ago

So occasionally neither gender knows what to do now with things changing. Which all leads to frustrations on both sides because they feel as if they were surrounded by jackasses.

10points

kansasmagic 7 months ago

I stopped reading after 10: Are these just 25 variations on the same theme?

14points

MrsFettesVette 7 months ago

Basically, yes. And boy am I glad I don't date anymore. All these things the men are complaining about are things I've experienced FROM the guys I've dated.

5points

Helena 7 months ago (edited)

Where exactly are all these women who want to be chased? I've never met one. It isn't rocket science. Is it an event or place where a woman can reasonably expect to be approached? Then do so. Have a conversation, ask her out, whatever, but if she says no, take the no. If she wants to play games, just make sure it isn't with you. If they randomly stop talking to you, chances are they were scared to just outright tell you for whatever reason. Just know that most of what we do is for our safety, not your comfort. We have to.

11points

John Harrison 7 months ago

"I've never met one" ... Honest question, do you date women?

4points

MurderMittens 7 months ago

I want my husband to chase me. Why do i ALWAYS have to be the one to initiate sex, dates, conversations...???

2points

Szzone 7 months ago

I have met multiple women like that. Of course that's probably not how tuey will tell the story to their girlfriends, just like guys aren't d1cks in their own stories when they tell it to their friends.

2points

Guess Undheit 7 months ago

To all of them I would say: Stop looking for dates and romance. Build up a circle of platonic friends with women where you treat and act towards them the same as men. Will any of them pick you? Maybe, maybe not. But maybe you'll start seeing how other people and couples interact while you're out socially. Above all, stop coming in with expectations and goals.

5points

sofacushionfort 7 months ago

Don’t value yourself as just a commodity, and don’t treat anyone else as just a commodity; and avoid those who do. Allow yourself to be disappointed, because it’s going to happen sometimes anyway. Accept that you can be disappointed in yourself and in the eyes of others. Every era in history has its unique challenges, and yours is its placing of resentment at a premium. Your challenge is to find happiness in resisting resentment, not in nursing it.

4points

John Harrison 7 months ago

A lot of bitter men in this article. These guys need to ask their fathers and grandfathers how to socialize with women.

4points

Cosmikid 7 months ago (edited)

I like the thought- but I'm wondering what segment of society you're from? Mine - would be clueless. 100% of fathers and grandfathers were long married, and no "socializing" between sexes ever happened - at parties, men went that way, women the other, and all parties seemed to prefer it that way. A very different world. Young men and women certainly had their own world, but we never heard about it. You are right though that looking at "History" would be a good idea- not one of these problems is "new" since 1,000 years ago.

0points

ADZ 7 months ago

God I can't imagine dating in the age of smart phones and apps. No thank you.

4points

Kylie 7 months ago

I've seen some of the photo filtered AI profiles on tinder etc. (mainly female but I'm sure there's males who do the same) and thanks but no thanks.

0points

Cosmikid 7 months ago

I can put my finger on one major problem - which will not be easy to "fix". Both men- and women - are incredibly "Defensive!" right now about their own positions, thoughts, "rights" etc. At least that's the gist of what's on social media. And often, what is being defended is a "Half-truth" at best. People have experienced "This" - therefore it is true. Except in reality it's only true sometimes - leaving people locked out of other experiences. Incidentally, my own saying: "A half-truth; is the most durable of lies." We're adamant that "I know!" - and we don't, really, and don't know we don't know. How to fix? Ha. 20 years of therapy? Or- try to train yourself to NOT judge. Let this person; and this world; show you what they are, and don't think you understand it all from a few hints. And- good luck. You need it.

3points

Bec 7 months ago

Dating now does sound pretty awful, but really it always was. For the young folks, just proclaim that you've given up on trying to meet someone, start living for yourself, then BAM you'll meet the person of your dreams

2points

Sweet Fanny Adams 7 months ago

Life is confusing enough. Get a dog. a838c6e145...25-png.jpg

2points

DB 7 months ago

I married my first wife at 30 and we divorced 3 years later sharing custody of our 2-year-old son. Most women I met my age had older children. When they found out I was the parent of a toddler they would turn tail and run. A woman I became friends with at the time told me she had the same experience. I eventually met and married a woman who had children the same age as my son.

2points

Pittsburgh rare 7 months ago

When my daughter was little l was often turned down as a single mother. Now that she's in college l find a lot of older men who have children in middle school or even primary, and sorry not sorry, I'm not up for it. It works better for me when both parties are at the same stage in life.

1point

Scott Wilkins 7 months ago

Well that certainly gives me hope for our species...

0points

MagNat 7 months ago

Cut the variations of "women should stop expecting to be chased!", and there are maybe 3 examples left...

0points

R Dennis 7 months ago

In my 50s, been with the same person since I was 19... I can't imagine trying to date in your 20s and 30s these days.

0points

Nicholas Yu 7 months ago

I have a coworker who I find attractive and never flirt with. She's sometimes within earshot of conversations I have with other people and I know I can make her laugh until she cries because...I've seen it. Around other coworkers, she's always smiling and laughing. But as soon as she approaches me, serious as all hell. Which is fine. That said, anytime she enters the room and she is talking to someone else...her subconscious gets the best of her and one of her feet is always pointed towards me. Some of you may think I'm crazy...so here's the kicker: She stalks my instagram stories. When I post stories to my instagram, I can see who's seen them, even if we don't follow each other. And there she in my list of viewers, clear as day.

-2points

John Harrison 7 months ago

... and?

0points

MedusaWasBeautiful 7 months ago

I don't date since it is impossible for someone to make me happy.

-2points

Zedrapazia 7 months ago

That either sounds like depression or narcissism. I hope you're okay

4points

censorshipsucks 7 months ago

Then you need mental health support/therapy.

2points

Cherry Lane 7 months ago

You have to make yourself happy.

0points

censorshipsucks 7 months ago

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POST

Zedrapazia 7 months ago

21points

Zedrapazia 7 months ago

So occasionally neither gender knows what to do now with things changing. Which all leads to frustrations on both sides because they feel as if they were surrounded by jackasses.

10points

kansasmagic 7 months ago

I stopped reading after 10: Are these just 25 variations on the same theme?

14points

MrsFettesVette 7 months ago

Basically, yes. And boy am I glad I don't date anymore. All these things the men are complaining about are things I've experienced FROM the guys I've dated.

5points

Helena 7 months ago (edited)

11points

John Harrison 7 months ago

"I've never met one" ... Honest question, do you date women?

4points

MurderMittens 7 months ago

I want my husband to chase me. Why do i ALWAYS have to be the one to initiate sex, dates, conversations...???

2points

Szzone 7 months ago

2points

Guess Undheit 7 months ago

5points

sofacushionfort 7 months ago

4points

John Harrison 7 months ago

A lot of bitter men in this article. These guys need to ask their fathers and grandfathers how to socialize with women.

4points

Cosmikid 7 months ago (edited)

0points

ADZ 7 months ago

God I can't imagine dating in the age of smart phones and apps. No thank you.

4points

Kylie 7 months ago

I've seen some of the photo filtered AI profiles on tinder etc. (mainly female but I'm sure there's males who do the same) and thanks but no thanks.

0points

Cosmikid 7 months ago

3points

Bec 7 months ago

2points

Sweet Fanny Adams 7 months ago

Life is confusing enough. Get a dog. a838c6e145...25-png.jpg

2points

DB 7 months ago

2points

Pittsburgh rare 7 months ago

1point

Scott Wilkins 7 months ago

Well that certainly gives me hope for our species...

0points

MagNat 7 months ago

Cut the variations of "women should stop expecting to be chased!", and there are maybe 3 examples left...

0points

R Dennis 7 months ago

In my 50s, been with the same person since I was 19... I can't imagine trying to date in your 20s and 30s these days.

0points

Nicholas Yu 7 months ago

-2points

John Harrison 7 months ago

... and?

0points

MedusaWasBeautiful 7 months ago

I don't date since it is impossible for someone to make me happy.

-2points

Zedrapazia 7 months ago

That either sounds like depression or narcissism. I hope you're okay

4points