Domestic abuse and violence against women are rightfully condemned, loudly and publicly, as utterly criminal and wrong under any circumstances. However abuse doesn’t stop there. There are countless forms of less obvious, insidious abuse that affects people of both genders, non-physical abuse that most of us are kinda expected to just put up with. Especially men.
The hashtag #maybeshedoesnthityou is trending on Twitter, and it’s a real eye-opener. Men are sharing their personal stories of manipulation and emotional abuse, and it’s highlighting all kinds of problematic behavior. Perhaps instead of being told to just “suck it up and take it like a man,” guys will be able to express their emotions more honestly, and learn that being treated like crap is not ‘normal.’
Scroll down to check out some examples below, and let us know what you think in the comments.
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Being told to 'man up' is very hurtful, especially when you're just trying to communicate.
This happened to my son. His girlfriend had him falsely arrested, came to my home and spinned me a story and when I stood by my son she kept my granddaughter away. When it got to court the judge asked questions that my sons lawyer hadn't asked and she admitted she lied. It absolutely broke my son. He's never been the same since. I hate her!
Because you aren't helping pay the bills or to take care of her? If the first, find a new job, the second - find a new girlfriend.
I've dealt with gaslighting from both (sic) genders, including a parent. I was told, in a rare moment of honesty, that if I could be made to doubt myself for one second, they then had complete control of the dialogue and me.
No one gets through life without being emotionally damaged in some way. It's part of "life experience".
Or subjected to weeks of guilt tripping, cold shoulder, and 'Nothings wrong, you should know why I'm upset' because you went out to coffee with a friend while they were at work.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Your heart is precious. I hope you have lots of friends who can help you--family? There are also many support groups. I also hope she is no longer in your life.
I promise you there are many people who will be kind and treat you with the respect you deserve. You never have to accept cruelty. You deserve to be happy. Being alone is better than this. I promise you.
And then later she'll complain that you're a bad father that does nothing and doesn't care about his kids... I've seen it happen.
See, but doing something like either of those suggestions would involve her losing control and him being allowed to interact with others that might notice the abuse and suggest he leave, people that he might actually listen to.
as soon as you stop lying to your self that you need her or even want her you will be fine that being said i know it is not easy just try to stay mentally sound till you gain the courage
Women don't hold a monopoly on emotions. It's so sad to see that many women are stuck in the middle ages when it comes to perceived gender norms.
Oh please leave, you deserve better than this. Always remember, dating is like a car test-drive. Not every car will be your best fit, but every car is someone's best fit. If you don't like the car for your life, it doesn't mean that the car isn't a good car or a valuable car, it's just not "your" car. Go find your Porsche.
A lot of mentaly ill People, rope in the People arround them like that. They maybe can not help it or just won`t, but just know, you are a free Person, everything you do is voluntarily done, you can leave in an instance, you can demand, you can lead the way, you can be strong, you can make your voice be heard.
If a friend of mine tried to commit suicide and blamed the SO I would NOT support them staying in the relationship. This whole situation is messed up.
It is beyond sad that she received no consequences for physically abusing you, and utterly sick that people laughed it off. The system needs to change, now.
Oh this is a big one I deal with on a constant basis especially when she throws out "You had all the free time after work to yourself and then you want to go out away from me on the weekend??" Mine you I get home real late and many times only have a few hours at most to get dinner and try relaxing before heading to bed to start another extremely stressful day of non stop work without a real lunch break sometimes (Walking around the office with a cup of noodles going to client desks to work on computer issues so they can go on lunch). Being part of a paintball team kind of requires some weekends that I have to be away and she has been invited, and showed interest, but has a hatred of a friend that has no real good reason behind it outside of he wouldn't let her become a roommate again because of tensions between the other roommates causing issues that would cause her PTSD issues to flare up.
My son is currently in a abusive marriage, though I'm not sure he sees it that way. My DIL has made certain that his family doesn't see their baby boy. Now they're moving. He'll never know how much we love our only grandchild. So sad. All to appease her fragile ego.
maybe it is not about still loving her? Maybe It is about you saying when- when it is finally enough to leave an unhealthy relationship, sometimes love just is not enough and sometimes that hurts the most. Still, better by yourself, than beeing constantly distanced from yourself for the sake of said relationship. Maybe you are worth more?
I hate people who make false accusations. They are so vastly out numbered by people making real accusations and often not receiving any justice but they draw all the attention and make it even harder for real victims to be believed.
She's not meant to say it but to be it...and then you tell it to her...
Been there, had it happen, council people who are now going through it after learning how to detect it.
Her relationship with me ended about 4 years ago. My relationship with her ended 6 months ago, when she told me she made an offer on a house.
Next time , you end it and walk away ... don’t make it a threat, make it a promise
The spelling is correct, they just missed the apostrophe, it should be "you're".
I am so sorry. Run. Run fast and far. Find people who celebrate you, not ignore your journey and struggles to get to a place where you can be you.
I think this is a common way of letting someone know you aren't interested in a romantic relationship anymore, and it sucks because it's not clear words presented with the respect of a face-to-face conversation. It's the coward's way out. Sorry this happened to you.
Who the f**k cares about the care? The car is a tool, not a measurement of "manliness".
I'm so glad they're speaking up about this. It goes both ways, and no one is excused for being abusive in any form. Ladies shouldn't think their partners are immune to abuse and manipulation just because (many of them) may be physically bigger. Both sides need to sacrifice, listen, and nurture.
No argument there. Sick of those women that make us all (the majority) look bad. Because most of us aren't.
Load More Replies...It's sad that it needs to be posted so people realize that SOME women are bitches too, just like SOME men are...hopefully it's not the majority, but we need to stop acting like we, girls, are all perfect and boys are mean...There are flaws on both sides...mental pain can be just as hard as physical.
Speak for yourself, girl. Because I, my sisters, my mom, my female friends, my working colleagues, and many other acquaintances definitely don't act like this. The ones you're talking about are a very common sight on the internet, though....
Load More Replies...I'm so glad they're speaking up about this. It goes both ways, and no one is excused for being abusive in any form. Ladies shouldn't think their partners are immune to abuse and manipulation just because (many of them) may be physically bigger. Both sides need to sacrifice, listen, and nurture.
No argument there. Sick of those women that make us all (the majority) look bad. Because most of us aren't.
Load More Replies...It's sad that it needs to be posted so people realize that SOME women are bitches too, just like SOME men are...hopefully it's not the majority, but we need to stop acting like we, girls, are all perfect and boys are mean...There are flaws on both sides...mental pain can be just as hard as physical.
Speak for yourself, girl. Because I, my sisters, my mom, my female friends, my working colleagues, and many other acquaintances definitely don't act like this. The ones you're talking about are a very common sight on the internet, though....
Load More Replies...