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Telling a person you’re not romantically into them should be enough to stop them from making any further move. It, in fact, should stop the conversation altogether.
But ask any woman and they'll tell you it’s not always the case. In fact, many claim that nice guys, a term used in dating culture to refer to an insecure man who expects his kindness to be rewarded with physical affection, are notorious for not taking their hints.
And that’s how women end up in extremely uncomfortable situations where not only are their wishes not respected, but their private space is denied significance.
“What’s your most uncomfortable experience with someone who 'can’t take a hint?'” someone asked on the Ask Women subreddit and the thread turned into a hell of a read with women sharing their worst encounters.
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#1
Had older man smile at me in the street and said something like "aren't you a darling" I didn't smile back and kept on moving I went to a shop and he followed me in there and kept winking and smiling at me.. following me from aisle to aisle.
I didn't give any eye contact and just tried to make it look like I was busy shopping.
He walked past me nudging into me and said "you could at least smile you effin b***h"
It was only a short event but made me feel so uncomfortable.
Mary Hunt Peret 3 years ago
I find it disgusting how some men believe they are entitled to a woman's attention just because they look at her, smile at her or speak to her, and then get angry when she doesn't respond.
VodkaInMySweetTea 3 years ago
This is where you shout NO THANK YOU and the top of your lungs and then stare until they walk away.
Just me, myself, and I 3 years ago
If someone tells you to smile, give a vampire-like hiss and matching smile. Scares 'em away faster than a police car with flashing lights!
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Those men aren't used to women standing up to them. Should it happen again, first make sure you are surrounded by people and if they do talk to you, just give them a deadstare, not engage in communication.... Just stare. And at least have some bugs pray in your purse, works better then hairspray and is not considered a hidden weapon. Make sure when you're outside you have the wind in your back though ;)
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 years ago
Reply: You could at least taken a hint and buzzed off the first time, you old wanker!!! *Out loud*
RELATED:
#2
Me and two friends brought our kids to the zoo. It was the dead of summer and Audubon has a cool zoo which is a lazy river, some slides for smaller kids, splash pads, you know the layout. I’m in a bikini top with shorts, nothing revealing, literally an average cut top. This f*****g guy decided to sit directly next to us when there was a myriad of empty places to sit, as time goes he chimes in on conversations, and asks me if I wanted anything from the snack/drink stand. I made it clear I was married, showed the ring and said I don’t want you to get the wrong idea here. He downplayed it, still bought me a $5 lemonade which I refused because that made me super uncomfortable.
He overheard my name and then proceeded to call me by my name which then infuriated me so we picked up our stuff and moved. This f*****g guy follows us to the other side where the slides and stuff are so one of my friends let him have it. He tried the whole “I was just being nice” rebuttal. Huge red flag. I told him if he sat next to us again I’d empty my bottle of pepper spray into his eyes.
Yeah, nothing weird about a random guy sitting in the kids area by himself overtly flirting with women who clearly have kids and are more than likely in a relationship because of said kids.
Jessica Kaufman 3 years ago
Obnoxious? This is borderline criminal stalker behavior. More than a red flag. Dude is more than a creeper.
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Natalie Bohrteller 3 years ago
Even if you had been naked - what a difference would that have made?
Craig Becker 3 years ago (edited)
I once used a female avatar to play an online MMO game, and I would occasionally get hit on by various guys. And it annoyed the living hell out of me how they would frequently completely ignore things I said (like “I’m not interested in in cybersex” etc). I’m actually pretty okay with boys and girls expressing an attraction for someone they just met. But when there’s an obvious lack of interest, it’s time to back off.
Fat Harry 3 years ago
Blimey. "Signals" is generous! She flat-out told him she wasn't interested and was married. If this guy is that bad at reading signals he'd better not try crossing the street.
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#3
I'm not flirting, I'm being polite and friendly during my shift as a receptionist. Please, don't invite me to your party/room/country every single time.
That's every day.
farbenzirkel 3 years ago
There is this German song "Thekenmädchen" by Versengold: "Never, never, never fall in love With the girl behind the bar No matter how beautiful she is No matter how thirsty you are It's her job to like you!"
Laura Mende (Human) 3 years ago
Yeah. I like the band and the song especially. Beste Band!
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FakeOptimist 3 years ago
I used to dislike the fake smiles I got at a hotel, until I met a rmale receptionist in the smoking area and had a decent conversation with him. Now I know why and understand.
Dana Ondráčková 3 years ago
My niece was asked in a threesome. I stepped out saying she is my niece, then her mom, my sister, stepped up And then her partner, outraged, we all work together. We also mentioned her dear daddy is a cop👍the creeps quickly backed away
Mary Hunt Peret 3 years ago
My daughter works at a gas station/market and the number of men that hit on her/harass her/ask for her number/criticize her looks in the course of a single day would absolutely stagger anyone who doesn't work retail.
Alexandra Nara 3 years ago
Every guy always- I'm trained to become an arrogant b***h- if every " fine thx and how are you?" is flirting and instantely crushing on them. There is no sexual tension in being polite.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
Obnoxiously drunk guy on a work cruise I was hosting. Kept asking me if I wanted to come to Birmingham (Alabama) and see his horses. Apparently he was some rich horse breeder. Big, fat, about 25 years older than me and thought he was God's gift. I waited until the group of sycophants around him were paying attention and said, "You know darlin' my Grandmother used to always wonder: why is it there are always so many more horse's a$$es than there are horses?" Smiled politely and walked away.
rodger coghlan 3 years ago
As a social misfit who can't predict other people's interactions, l learned to try not to read too much into others behavior
#4
I was at a con one time. It was late night, everyone was drinking. I had to grab a charger from my car before walking over to the hotel to sleep. This random dude who had flirted with me throughout the night here and there saw me and followed me. He kept saying he was protecting me and didn't want me to drive drunk.
I explained I wasn't driving anywhere and asked him to please leave me alone but he followed me anyways. I was like okay, no big deal. I thought he'd go after he saw I wasn't getting in the car but he just kinda lingered there. I asked him to leave but nothing happened. It was like 3am and I wanted to sleep. So I started walking over to my room which was like 50ft away on the ground level.
This mf followed me just monologuing about protecting me and when I went to close the door between us he stopped it with his hand and wouldn't budge. I got behind it and was shoving it trying to close it. Luckily my friend who was staying separately saw me struggling and yanked the guy away from the door. I've never felt so helpless in my life and it flashes through my mind any time someone flirts with me in an environment with alcohol.
DKS 001 3 years ago
if a guy is following you, you do not lead him to where you are going (home, hotel room, etc). Should've lead him to the front desk and asked for security or called the police back at the con
Yeah, okay. 3 years ago
Came to say this exact thing. Security is there for guys like this.
Load More Replies... Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
You must have been so scared, but please, doubt let this mf change you when going on with your life and the parties you go to. Unfortunately women (and men too) have to be mentally prepared how to handle in situations like this. If you let this event take over your mind, you'll be scared the rest of your life, he doesn't deserve to have they controle over you. So, prepare.... Have the address where you park your car on a note in your phone. Make sure friends/family know where you are. If someone doesn't go away and you got a bad feeling about it, call the police and tell them where you are (hence the note in your phone) and if possible, look at the person who is bothering you and talk loud enough for them to hear you're calling the police. Also, when leaving a party, have a hunters whistle acme 2/11 with you on a lanyard around your neck so ready to take if needed. Blow that thing, you will be heard and if any dog is nearby, they will take their owners to where the sound comes from.
Nadine Debard 3 years ago
That's sadly and disturbingly very useful. One night on a business trip, after diner at a restaurant a guy followed me and explained in very crude and explicit words and gestures what he wanted to do to me in a manner like he was 'saving me from boredom because my man was certainly not as good as him' or something like this. He insisted until I shouted at his face to stop talking and stop following me or I call the police. I was very firm so he backed up. I then called my husband and explained him where I was, just in case, and began to head toward my hotel, checking regularly if I wasn't followed. No way I would have gone in a less busy place or to my hotel with that creep following me.
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Mariët 3 years ago
Never continue with a guy following you. Stand your ground; go back to the party or scream at him or look him deep in the eye, pick your nose and eat it. Ask for help, call a friend, take his picture, anything. But never continue. You lost controle right there. Goodluck next time! 😊
Sagegreen 3 years ago
I read once peeing yourself will gross them out so much they will leave you alone.
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Shellv 3 years ago
Glad your friend was there! I was walking to my car from a bar and had a guy follow me, I got in the car and it automatically locked. He then tried to break the window and I laid on the horn. Thankfully that startled him enough to leave me alone. I found out a few hours later that he stayed in that parking lot and r@ped and murdered another woman that walked out the same bar. 20 something years later and I still have survivors guilt even though I told the security guards/police around after I calmed down enough.
deanna woods 3 years ago
You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty. He was going to kill someone and there was nothing that you could have done to change that. People this demented can't be stopped from doing horrible things. Also, you told security so you did your part.
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HighNMightyBigshot 1 year ago
It was the last night of a cruise snd one of my table mates and I were chatting on deck, I was so tired that I was falling asleep mid sentence. This guy was all into me, telling me how attractive I was, interesting convo etc. I told him I had to get going bc TIRED, he came to my cabin to tell me once again how attractive he thought I was. Thanked him again and shut the door. Do these guys really think that is a panty dropper?
#5
When I was around 18, a guy who I had met earlier in the day (while shopping at his workplace) showed up at my workplace (a restaurant), sat at the bar and got drunk, and proceeded to follow me out to my car when I left for the evening. I was as clear as I could be as an "unexperienced with creepy guy situations" that I was not interested in him and I really needed to get home. I didn't feel comfortable trying to get into my car because he was moving in closer and closer to me, trying to kiss me. Thankfully, the bartender, who I barely knew, saw out the window what was going on and came out to the parking lot, saying my dad was on the phone looking for me. I ran back inside the building, and the bartender proceeded to have "words" with the guy in the parking lot. Never saw the guy again, and I will be forever grateful to the bartender for stepping in.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
It's just amazing that people still drink too much when they must know they do stupid shite when drunk... Good thing you didn't get into your car and good thing that bartender knew to listen to his gut feeling.
the Return of Bruno 3 years ago
They drink to give themselves an excuse. The Romans say "In vinum veritas" (in wine theire is truth), meaning that drinking only brings out your true self.
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#6
A former neighbor who took an interest from nothing more than a "hello" in the lift. Started knocking on my door for random chats so I made it clear I wasn't interested. One night he knocked 7 times in one hour, he left notes asking if I wanted to go here and there, he found my FB and in my spam folder was over a 100 messages. He knocked one morning at 7am so I opened the door and basically told him to p**s off, he goes "you could have told me you weren't interested".
He then kept knocking because he wanted to take me out to apologize, ended up reporting him to our landlady who threatened to evict him for breaking the no antisocial behaviour part of his tenancy agreement and he left me alone.
Debby Keir 3 years ago
No they don't - they behaved like a normal human bean. Why does it rock if someone behaves properly? A thankyou to them, but they were doing exactly what they should do.
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Bender Bending Rodríguez 3 years ago
I thought that was the norm. All my leases I had so far had clauses that not only held me responsible for my bad behavior but also my guests bad behavior, if such behavior were to occur on the premise.
Load More Replies... Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
That was a stalker if I ever saw one. Good thing he backed of after the eviction threat... Some guys just don't take no for an answer :(
#7
Guy I'd been friends with for 6 years decided one night that I must have been interested in him all along. I was coming out of the bathroom at a party and he shoved me back in and kissed me. I shoved him away. He tried again while trying to lock the door.
I managed to dodge and asked what the f**k he was doing, told him I wasn't interested and leave me alone and then went to hide out with another guy friend. I told the other guy what the first one had done and that I needed him to help me ward off the attention. He agreed. And then invited me to a 3way with his girlfriend.
So I grabbed my s**t and started to leave. The first guy approached me again. I shouted at him in full view of everyone to leave me alone and flat out referred to the s**t in the bathroom as an attempted assault. Marched out the door to my car and he followed me. He apologized and "explained" that he thought I had a crush on him. I'd known him so long, I tried to be understanding. I told him if he'd asked me out I probably would have said yes but this s**t wasn't the way to do things. I said if he did want to try it out he could call me in the morning and actually ask.
Instead he pinned me to the hood of my car and tried to kiss me again.
I ducked away and got in the car. Drove away. He did not call me the next morning and in fact we never spoke or saw each other again. I in fact lost all of my male friends in one night since they were all friends with him.
Mystery Egg 3 years ago
They were never your friends in the first place, if they didn't call out his sh**ty behaviour
Anon Ymous 3 years ago
Too many men protect their friends by simply not even speaking out, we need to do more and not allow other men to get away with this kind of c r a p.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 3 years ago
And this is what infuriates me the most! Some dude behaves really shitty, the woman tells other men and they don't believe her or think she is exaggerating. Most men will believe other men before they believe a women, like women can't be trusted on principle or the "well, I as a man would never do that, so no other man would, therefore she is lying".
athornedrose 3 years ago
i had a similar issue with a childhood male friend. they really do feel entitled for being around so long. terrifying. i hope you know you're better and safer without him.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Good grief, that was good reaction from your part but those so called friends.... Some men just didn't get raised properly by their parents and women are to pay for that, so so sad.
Courtney Christelle 3 years ago
"He tried to assault you in the bathroom? That's terrible! Want to have a threesome?" What the actual f*ck?
Wendy Herman 3 years ago
You lost nothing but Fake "friends", a few of whom may have been actual rapists. I'm sure it hurt a lot. I'm sorry that happened to you. It sucks to find out that people you believed cared about you, at least a little bit, actually only ever saw you as a thing, not as another human being. A thing to be possessed, even taken by force. People like that tend to break their "things". Glad you escaped. I hope you were able to find Much Better friends.
#8
A stranger talking to me at a bus stop. It was 06:00 in the morning and I needed to go to Uni. It was cold, I was wearing headphones and reading a book.
A short mumbled answer to a good morning made him try to talk to me. I went from nonverbal grunts to completely ignoring him. And when that didn't stop him, I told him "Sorry, I'm not in the mood for talking, it's way too early.". Didn't work. Next thing I told him straight "Dude, I don't want to talk to you. Shut up and p**s off!"
And guess what...it didn't really work too, he continued.
So I had to be more blunt and rude and told him I would give him a beating if he didn't stop right away.
That finally did the trick. Even though he still wanted to sit next to me in the nearly empty bus with plenty of other options. I stared him down with a raised fist and didn't move, so he didn't try that.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
This! I just love how you handled this, not showing fear or discomfort, but telling it clear and simple and not backing down. Good job well done!
Katie Andrews 3 years ago
Power, control, and dominance. That's the only language these cavemen speak. Well done. Do whatever it takes, including the threat of violence, for them to back off and back down.
The Doom Song 3 years ago
What part of wearing headphones and head in a book says to people "yes please come talk to me" This happens to me all the time so now I ride my bike to work
deanna woods 3 years ago
How many times do women have to say that they are not interested for these guys to get it. If someone tells me to stop talking to them, I stop talking to them.
El Dee 3 years ago
These are the extreme lengths you have to go to to make men understand you're not going to be talking to a random stranger. Even on a train, headphones on and nearly asleep someone sat next to me and nudged me awake to start a conversation. What about this situation are they not getting..
#9
My sister’s roommate really liked me, but he was her boss and her roommate, so I was polite but nothing else.
After me frequently telling him that I was not interested in him, he left a golden box on my front step, and in it: a picture of my mom from college that he stole from my sister and a pair of my panties that he had also stolen from my house.
What made it extra creepy? He didn’t drive or have a car, *so he took an Uber* to leave a box with an adolescent picture of my mom and my underwear on my porch.
Tobias Reaper 3 years ago
what exactly was he trying to accomplish here this guy needs mental help
Deidre Lippnik 3 years ago
No....he NEEDS TO BE ARRESTED and deemed a sex offender
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
Sorry for your sister, not only having to work for this creep, but also being his roommate(?!). She really should find another job, and another place to live, ASAP. In the meantime, I hope she has a lock on her bedroom door, and checks the lock on the bathroom door.
Alexandra Nara 3 years ago
Maybe every adult film should get a disclaimer that the scenes are fictional non- usual ( family) behaviour and where to get help, if you can't tell the different anymore.. This kind of behaviour crosses every border of a healthy mental state
Kipper 3 years ago
Adult films have messed up so many people it's a wonder they don't have disclaimers already! ):
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Shyla Bouche 3 years ago
This one makes me feel sick to my stomach. The ones that are flat out assaults aren't bad enough? Urg!
Fat Harry 3 years ago
Assault is one thing, but this sort of stuff is psychologically creepy because you wonder how far they're going to take things.
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the Return of Bruno 3 years ago
He was her boss and her roommate? That's about as kosher as bacon-wrapped shrimp with cheese.
#10
Roger the Finger Sucker. I got cornered by him at a party and he started to recite sonnets to me. And as I was trying to figure out how to extricate myself from his body-blockage, while basically contorting myself as far as physically possible from him in the confined space I was now in, he took my hand and started sucking on my index finger. I can’t remember if it was outright WTF revulsion or laughing so hard that made him step back enough to let me skedaddle outta there. But Holy C**p
Jude Bennett 3 years ago
Tell him you have just picked something out of your butt with that finger
FakeOptimist 3 years ago
Nah, that would be encouragement to a réal freak.
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Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
If there's any space at all left, knee his nuts! His sonnet will go up an octave our two.
Shyla Bouche 3 years ago
I thought he would be sucking his own finger. This was even more disturbing than that. Just yikes!
Just me, myself, and I 3 years ago
No more Ms Nice Girl behavior ladies. At the first sign of assault, knee to groin.
Craig Becker 3 years ago
I once had my teeth cleaned by a dental hygienist who had had a client who was prone to sucking on her fingers. Like many conversations while seated in the chair, it was rather one-sided, alas, and I never got a chance to follow up on how she handled it.
#11
I was on my first ever solo trip and headed to Europe. Had my headphones in and a movie on my kindle fire and this guy has the audacity to keep touching my shoulder and talking to me! I’d covered myself with my blanket and was using the s******g airline pillow to create more of a barrier and also had my body angled away from him. But he kept going and one time tugged my damn headphone out! I finally just turned up my movie and anytime he tried to get ky attention held my tablet closer to my face. Unfortunately another young woman was on his other side and he then turned his attention towards her and her child. It took her nearly as long to get him to leave her alone. She finally had to tell him to shut up so her child could sleep as we’d been flying for hours at that point. That man had the f*****g audacity to complain the female flight attendant we weren’t being nice to him when they served drinks for the evening. She just looked at him and asked him if we knew him, he said no, and she said then we had no reason to humor him and to leave us alone
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Next time please call the flight attendant way sooner. Guys liked that don't take hints...
Seabeast 3 years ago
Even better if it's a male flight attendant. Guys like this often don't listen to any woman, even one in uniform.
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Mabelbabel 3 years ago
You had no reason to humour him even if you did know him. Being a work colleague or family friend still doesn't give him permission to touch you without consent, try and remove headphones from you, or force you into a conversation you clearly don't want.
Debby Keir 3 years ago
Was on a flight from US to Mecca, via UK (my stop). Filled with Haj pilgrims. Was seated next to an 80+ year old (Iwas about 60 at the time) He kept talking loudly to me and grabbing my thigh. I complained and was told the flight was full, so I couldn't be moved. Later they came round with visas (not needed for me) and he clearly wanted me to fill his in. Impossible as I couldn't read Urdu, and he knew no English. Very irate at me - called the steward again - was told they were busy and I'd have to do the best I can as the guy said I was his daughter! Just said NO loudly, but was very uncomfortable. So stewards did F* all.
bibbitybobbityboop 3 years ago
It’s honestly hard to think or be smart in this sort of situation. Like if your in shock
Load More Replies... Craig Becker 3 years ago
I’m a guy. I used to do a lot of business travel. And for some reason I seemed to attract these guys who were non-stop motormouths: for some reason they’d latch onto me despite my non-responsiveness and obvious “go away” vibes. I’m retired now so it’s not much of an issue - but I’m still not sure about the best way to handle this kind of thing. Shouting “Stop talking to me!” might work, but I don’t like making a scene.
Courtney Christelle 3 years ago
I'd have called the flight attendant right away and if something wasn't done immediately that AH would need an ambulance by the time we got to the ground.
#12
I went on a date with someone I met on an app. We ate dinner and I was really forcing myself to be nice and be present when in reality I was pissed! The guy lied in all of his pictures and we literally had nothing to talk about. At the end of the night, I was walking back to my car when he pushed me against a wall and forced kissed me!!! I was literally turning my head side to side. And then he has the audacity to say “wow that was a great date and kiss. Let’s meet again.” I just said sure to get the heck away. I blocked him as soon as I got in my car and sped away super fast
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
If someone lies to you, don't stay, just leave. If they don't have the courtesy to be honest with you, then you don't need to take their lies. I'm sorry you got as assaulted by that creep, you didn't deserve that happening to you.
Seabeast 3 years ago
Yup. Early childhood training to be "nice" and "polite" just means that pushy people walk all over you.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
Could’ve done the thing where you have a friend call you with an “emergency” you have to leave right away to deal with. Then RUN!
Katie Andrews 3 years ago
Just because he pays for the dinner does NOT EVER mean you have to stay! Use those first 15 minutes to evaluate everything he said on his profile and his looks. If the pictures don't match, and if he lies, use the first available opportunity to "use the bathroom" then ghost, and block him everywhere. You owe a first date nothing.
ObsidianAce_ 3 years ago
My mom recently got catfished. Didn’t know until just a day before going to meet him (thank god she didn’t go). The guy was then texting her “once you’ve calmed down and are ready to talk about it, call me.” Excuse me?!?
#13
I went to a really bad school so I'm not really surprised this happened, but one time I was "asked out" by a guy, I say "asked out" cause he didn't really ask, he more so demanded. He said something along the lines of "You're my girl from now on." which is just creepy in an of itself, and when I said no, he got super pissed saying stuff like "Tf, I didn't ask, so how about you just accept it." so I booked it outta there.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
The fact that you're not even surprised it happened, saddens me. I never get how parents fail to raise their sons to treat a woman like they would want their sister treated... Then again, for a number of parents, what you wrote is exactly how they were raised. You did good, proud of you!
Deidre Lippnik 3 years ago
Lets be honest...his father is probably worse. Who do you think he learned it from?
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Incel trying to make his sick fantasy come true. Glad you knocked his conceit right off its foundation.
#14
Was at a party and met a fedora wearing guy who was absolutely obsessed with anime, he told me "By the end of the night you'll know 101 new things about anime!"
He then followed me and my friends around the party telling us random anime facts, it was super awkward and he wouldn't take the hint to leave us alone and I had never been so uncomfortable in my life, a friend even straight up told him "Leave us alone" and he would just snort and stick around.
Anon Ymous 3 years ago
Liking anime isn't the red flag here fyi, plenty of normal people love it and don't act like this lol sorry squid guy
Charlene McMiller 3 years ago
On behalf of all squids, don’t call this man a squid 🦑
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Mabelbabel 3 years ago
I gave the eulogy at my father's funeral, and mentioned something about his hobbies and favourite author (which was Terry Pratchett). Afterwards, at the wake, I was getting everyone's glass topped up to make a toast in dad's memory (he'd wanted everyone to toast him in his favourite whisky) so i was going around the hall talking to everyone. This man started following me around and kept asking about Terry Pratchett. He wanted to know if I had I read any of his books, and he'd be happy to lend me some and then we could meet up and talk about them, and started quoting extensively from various ones, and telling me what his favourites were, and I just couldn't shake him off, even though i was completely ignoring him and not answering any of his questions. It was so inappropriate-my uncle intervened and the man (who only knew dad because they drank in the same bar) got really angry at being asked to stop, he was only trying to be friendly. Totally oblivious to normal behaviour.
harpling 3 years ago
Terry Pratchett would have been ashamed of that guy, making your already horrible experience even more horrible.
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Ritchat 3 years ago
Maybe the guy was autistic? Extreme interest in a particular topic and obvious difficulties knowing in how to behave and react in social situations.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 3 years ago
I’m autistic (technically ‘high functioning’ but that term is BS) and as soon as I was outright told to go away, I would immediately go away, possibly just go home so I didn’t die of embarrassment.
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Courtney Christelle 3 years ago
First thing I learned in martial arts is to scream Back Off until they leave you alone. Gets everyone's attention, embarrasses the hell out of them and gets the point across.
Carla Phillips 3 years ago
I met a guy on the internet. It was like 1999 so it was probably AOL or yahoo messenger. He said he had been in the marines and wanted to introduce me to anime. at the time I lived in a duplex and my best friend and her husband lived on the other side. I made them aware I had a date coming over so my safety bases were covered. Dude comes over. I don't know what he had done to the picture he sent me, but it didn't look like him at all. He was also only slightly taller than me and I that is a turnoff for me. But I figured, hey, nothing wrong with making a friend and maybe I'll get into anime. Cue us sitting in my living room and he stands up out of no where and starts talking about sucking his penis. I was like dude, in not into you like that, let's just chill and watch TV. He moves to stand right in front of me and says I quote "I could make you suck it" and before my brain kicked in my mouth said and you could leave without it. Luckily that was enough to get him to leave.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Hints of "Leave us alone" doesn't always help with guys like that. Straight out tell them you're not interested. They still don't get it? Then just completely ignore. Still don't get it? Find the one who organized there party and inform them you're being harassed.
JustJackie 3 years ago (edited)
I'm sorry, but how is 'leave us alone,' a hint. How can you be more clear than that? I Shouldnt have to tell someone I'm not interested after asking them to leave me alone. It's none of their business, if I'm in a relationship or not. I shouldn't need a 'legit' reason, saying no is enough.
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#15
Every time I’ve had weird men confessing their feelings for me. Like we spoke 2 or 3 times John, you cannot possibly be « in love » with me. They thought they were being romantic too.
Jasam Nitko 3 years ago
I really don't get this. We've talked 2-3 times, just polite everyday stuff about our hobby, and then the guy is madly in love? Even worse, in my case, he knew I'm married and I made it clear I love my husband. It still took years to get rid of the"nice guy".
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Because they believe works of fiction, and are trying to make them come true. Because, for generations, they’ve been fed male fantasy works of fiction, in print, on TV, in the movies—-including porn—-that included stalking, catcalling, being rough, talking dirty, cornering women, and other red flag behavior as not only being absolutely normal, but also being totally acceptable to the women they target, because in those stories, they proceed to fall madly in love with their stalker “admirers”. Nothing but total male fantasy, absolutely not grounded in the kind of real life women have to navigate way more carefully than we should have to—-mostly because of misguided men trying to make fantasy become reality.
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Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Yup, had this with a guy. Knew I was with my SO for years, and all of a sudden I got this love declaration in my messenger... Told him that I did not appreciate that and he apologized. Okay, we're adults so I figured that was that. I figured wrong... Some time later he send a message with just a simple question so I answered with a short simple answer. Got a message telling me he expected more from me. What the actual F? He did get more from me, a whole lot more from me, just not the way he expected it. Then I blocked him. Later found out that he plastered his Facebook with so stories about how "his princess" left him and he didn't understand... I never responded to any of it, it works just give him new fuel to pursue again.
Alexandra Nara 3 years ago (edited)
I always tell them that they just fell in love with an idea of an available canvas to paint their dreams and needs on. And I am not blank canvas and not available as an substitute for love
deanna woods 3 years ago
Real life is nothing like a rom com and needs to stop being treated as such.
#16
My ex-housemate couldn't take a hint to save his life. No matter how many times I slammed my bedroom door in his face, ignored him when he talked, or actively avoided him, he would still keep trying to talk/flirt with me. This was all after I had already rejected his romantic proposal. It went on for ~3 months until my lease was up and I moved out.
Also, he was 33 and I had just turned 20.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Good grief, the manchild never learned how to take no for answer. Good thing nothing more happened...
Katie Andrews 3 years ago
Tell me he was on a power trip as a groomer without saying he was on a power trip as a wanna-be groomer.
#17
When I was 21, I worked at a casino as a cage cashier. It was the overnight shift, and I had so many creeps acting like I was flirting with them when I was just doing my job! One guy —who had to be 45–50 years old — just kept staring and smiling at me throughout his transaction. It sounds innocent but it was incredibly creepy and uncomfortable. He finally left (because a line started to form behind him) and a few hours later, at about two or three in the morning, the phone rang and it was him! He asked me if I remembered him, that he was in earlier and 'WE' couldn't stop smiling at each other! (I said I didn't remember him.) Then he asked me if I 'wanted to go party.' Seriously, ew
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Kindness is a valuable thing, some people confuse it with more. What concerns me more in this case however, is how he got your number. I made it a point to never ever give someones cellphone number to anyone, even if both people know eachother. I'll tell them I'll contact the person myself to contact the one who's asking. People can be really careless sometimes by just hanging over someone else's information.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
I think he called the phone in the cashier cage she was working. But more on topic, I may be 61 and married now, but when I was young and single, I have personally had coworkers give my phone number out to men without my permission—-for no other reason than they asked for it, FFS! Believe me, I. Was. Pissed. Off! Each time, I laid into the coworkers who did it, and chewed them all a new a*****e, for purposely putting me in that kind of position with some random creep. I also changed my number afterward. Pain in the a*s to then have to change it everywhere the old number was on file (for bills, etc), but worth it to not have to put up with the creeps’ calls. WTF possesses people to give out a single woman’s phone number to some random creep—-without even calling her first to see if she even wants him to have it—-just because he asks for it?
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Ghaniyah Verma 3 years ago
The age difference could practically make him as old are your parent, goddammit!
Captain Spaulding 3 years ago
Working at a casino is the worst when it comes to perverts. I'm not even attractive, and guys would be trying to hug me, rub against me, or invite me to three ways. One Guy came in smelling like cow c**p and flirted with me. I hated it.
#18
I was 15 and working at a local ice cream shop in the downtown area. I was in the back, making waffle cones, when I heard a knock on the window. This 60-some year old guy is waving to me, so I wave back and go back to paying attention to my cones. 20 minutes later, he’s still there watching me. I got nervous and went to the hallway, which is when he came in the shop. He asked my coworker how old I was, and she was kind enough to lie for me and said I was 13. He left after that.
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
Even if she was 15, 20, or 40, he had no right to do something like that.
PinkFloofyUnicorns 3 years ago (edited)
that guy is probably obsessive, and maybe drunk or whatever, doesn't excuse his behaviour tho
#19
One of my former roommates. He was a 28 year old man and I was 18. He tried to sleep with me because I was "18 now". I had to keep rejecting his advances and it was so uncomfortable but eventually he got kicked out by the landlord (I don't know if it was because I told the landlord he was being creepy towards me or other reasons. I guess he had issues with cocaine as well). When my landlord confronted him about him making unwanted sexual advances towards me I heard him saying I should have lost my virginity as 15 "like everybody else".
Anyways the weird part is years later I actually ran into him and he started hitting on me aggressively AGAIN but he had no recollection of who I was! I remembered him but he seemed to not have a clue who I was and tried to lure me back to his home when I was waiting for a greyhound bus en route to another city and I was sitting with my luggage. This maniac was trying to convince me to go to his home and I was trying to get him to understand that I can't leave because if I do I will miss my bus and get stranded in some random city. Then he took it upon himself to keep me company while I waited for my greyhound 😅🥲. He stayed with me until I boarded. He was also eating a mango and cutting it with a pocket knife. I was so uncomfortable that he had a knife and kept asking me to go back to his place with the knife in hand (even if he was only using it to cut fruit). I ended up stealing his knife when he wasn't paying attention. The dude was eccentric and was plucking public flowers and giving them to me.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Good thing nothing more happened... good thing you got hold of that knife when you did. You've got guts, keep that, it works for you.
April Stephens 3 years ago
In my city, no. You can get a fine for picking them.
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#20
Had some random guy sit down and join a friend and I at lunch. We were sooo clearly annoyed and just wanted to catch up as we hadn’t seen each other in awhile. He just kept asking where we were from, what we were doing after etc. His friend who was standing nearby actually got embarrassed and started trying to get him to leave.
We finally started to get up because we were so irritated. He then gets up to leave but he watched us for the rest of our lunch. Completely ruined our time because we were so uncomfortable.
Kate Malcom 3 years ago
He's not oblivious, he's arrogant and rude. He's a creep. What more is there to say?
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
English is not my first language, so it might have been misinterpreted... It sounded right in my head ;)
Load More Replies... Katie Andrews 3 years ago
Flag the waiter over, move your entire meal to another table. Keep the waiter and tip well.
Artistic Panda (he him) 3 years ago
People, downvoting gets others banned.
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GFSTaylor 3 years ago
A public situation in a restaurant is where you get loud. Keep telling the intruder that you don't know them and don't want their company. Say it loud enough to draw attention to his bad behaviour. Make it clear to everyone that he is harrassing you. Don't be quietly awkward and polite.
tHeBoRdEsTpAnDa 3 years ago
I mean, at least the friend realised what an idiot the first guy was being
#21
A former friend's room mate took a liking to me when he found out I was a "gamer girl" and started off pretty strong. He tried to buy me a gaming pc rig for my birthday after only hanging out twice in a group setting (where he barely spoke), showed up at my work wanting to hang out even though I never told him when or where.
Eventually he asked me out, I said no, and he just.....kept it up. I would keep telling him to stop because it made me uncomfortable but he'd keep at it saying it's "how he treats all his friends". Spoiler, it wasn't. I had never seen him treat his room mate like this. It was just me.
Eventually he started spam calling me at 2am while he was obviously plastered. I had to block him and then he showed up at my work and said he wouldn't leave until I talked to him. Cops got called. My friend moved out and we never saw him again.
#22
I was waiting for a bus at 10:30 AM on a Saturday morning. Some guy pulls up next to the stop in a white, windowless van (I'm not kidding, you can't make this up). He tells me that he was driving the other direction and thought I was so beautiful and he just had to turn around and talk to me. He asked for my number and I said no. Then he asked if he could take me out to dinner later. I told him no, I was on my way to meet a friend and was busy. He proceeded to tell me about his job and when he would be off work and asked for my number again. Then he insisted on me taking his card for his number. And he just sat there and kept talking from his van even though I had started ignoring him. Dude would not leave and just sat there in the street in his windowless van trying to talk to me even though I told him no and that I wasn't interested multiple times.
When he offered me his card, I seriously thought he was trying to get me close to his van to kidnap me or something.
Caryle 3 years ago
Oh I have a van storey too! windowless dark van in Arizona 112 out this guy pulls up in front of the bus stop I’m sitting at walks up to me and says it’s too hot to be sitting at a bus stop then can he give me a ride.He’s dressed in black pants and a purple shirt and carrying a Bible and says he’s a minister. This was over 15 years ago I still think of him And how unlikely it would’ve been that I’d made it to my destination if I had taken that ride.
LJ Robinson 3 years ago
I've had this happen. What I did is walk around his vehicle while taking photos. Plates, ding marks, anything that could identify the van. When he STILL didn't leave, I started filming him. THEN he left. I had told him repeatedly to leave me alone. No excuses, no I'm not interested, just flat out told him to leave me alone. Do we have to start punching these guys to make them listen?
Shayda 3 years ago
That's what I'm thinking?! Like I know, "violence is never the answer", but I'm starting to think that putting their safety at risk (exactly like they're doing to others) is the only way.
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El Dee 3 years ago
This reminds me of other articles talking about toxic male behaviour, in this case persisting beyond when you are told NO, being fuelled by films, culture and upbringing telling young men that being persistent is normal and is what women want. It's up to every man to behave in a way that he'd want his sister treated but it's also up to us when we raise boys to instil good behaviours in them and disabuse them of this horrible nonsense..
Shayda 3 years ago
These "roofing" guys pulled into my yard after I had just gotten home. They asked about the roof (it needed work but my parents were already on that). There was two of them standing outside their car. I told them I couldn't talk to them about it, that's my Dad's area. The main guy (the other stood by the car silently) kept moving towards be and I'd move backwards towards the door. He offered his care (just like this story, to get me close) and I told him he could leave it in the mailbox. I managed to get back inside and bolted the door. I called and stayed on the phone with my mom until they left, they did not leave a card.
MushroomHead22 3 years ago
when they ask for your number, just give them the local police hotline number, that way when he calls he'll be in for a nice surprise
#23
When I was in 6th grade, I stood up for a boy who was being made fun of. That afternoon, he slid me a note asking me to be his girlfriend and I said no. Throughout school, he would constantly confess his feelings for me, which I kept declining. He even told me he was in love with me after he moved states and was with another girl.
Fast forward 10+ years and I still get message requests from him lmao. Nothing ever incredibly aggressive, but dude just won’t take a hint.
GlitterQueen541 3 years ago
Had a guy from school do this until we were well into our 30s. Then he got married and blocked me on everything... I never once reached out to him, yet he blocked me. Good riddance.
JoJo Anisko 3 years ago
If you never reached out, how do you know? Just asking, is there some sort of notification?
Load More Replies... Dana Ondráčková 3 years ago
Elementary-two years younger boy like me. I didnt liked him. Years pass, I was around 20,left my abusive bf And the minute I changed my fb profile to "single" There he was, asking me out.. Nope
#24
He was my university dorm neighbour and we got along well. A year and a half ago he reached out to reconnect. I met up with him and his wife (his girlfriend from uni) to catch up. All seemed great. They were planning a cottage weekend and invited my now ex and I to join them, and then he started pressuring me to commit right then to skinny dipping in the lake with them (the trip was months away) and it got weird so I just stopped responding. He still messages me and acts weird and sad about me ghosting him.
Xenon 3 years ago
Sounds like he did it in front of his wife. Little swinger action maybe?
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#25
I had a friend. Well he was my brother's friend but he was a tenant in my house for years. Anyhow, he got married, moved away with his wife, had a kid, etc etc.
One day, out of the blue, I got a call from him asking me if a friend of him could spend the night at my house, that's standard in my religious circle so I said it was ok. He came along with the friend to introduce her, and that's when I got told he is getting a divorce because his wife cheated.
We started talking and he tells me all about the cheating situation.
After that weekend, he kept texting and calling, telling me about his day, and asking me to go to places with him (gym, movies, a coffee). I kept telling him I was busy. Then he tells me that I shouldnt be dating my bf because of reasons, so I told him he needed to mind his business.
The last time I spoke to him, I told him he had gotten married, never visited again, never called again, didn't even introduce us to his kid (who was 7 at the time of the divorce), and that I was too old to be stupid enough to not know he was trying to find a shoulder to cry on and a person to make him feel less lonely. Then I told him that if he needed friends, he had plenty of male friends to talk to. He was mad. He told me I was delusional and that my mom wouldn’t like me treating him like that. I hung up and blocked him in everything. A few days after, I got a call from my cousin's wife telling me that this guy had been talking sh*t about me.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
That your mom wouldn't like you treating him like that... That guy better be delusional, you handled it perfectly!
Katie Andrews 3 years ago
When a total stranger trauma-dumps, be wary. They are trying to elicit pity and sympathy to then take advantage. No normal person just dumps their trauma on a total stranger. You did the right thing by making him have his own life and not depend on you or some other woman.
marianne eliza 3 years ago
Inquiring minds want to know. I really keyed in on the mom thing. The creep spoke as if something about mom would disapprove of daughter turning down this man's orders.
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René Sauer 3 years ago
Asking if a friend could stay? Hell no, if I don´t know that person that´s not gonna happen. what happens next? You wake up to find her snooping in your drawers or something?
#26
Haha I've got this one. Went on one date with a guy, was kind of mediocre but I figured I'd go on one more in case it was just nerves or something getting in the way.
Valentine's day happened the day after our second date, and this man took it upon himself to use my phone number to look me up on LinkedIn and find my job, then stand outside of it for hours until I got off work. THEN in front of literally all of my coworkers and a cafe full of people, whipped out his guitar and sang "can't help falling in love with you" with my *name* substituted into it.
I cried out of sheer humiliation, meanwhile he seemed so pleased with himself. He asked if i would be his valentine at the end and I said no and straight up ran away from him to my car. I think I probably sat there for an hour or more experiencing sheer existential dread about that situation and also having to face my coworkers the next day
It was one of the worst possible things he could have done lol. Needless to say there was no second date
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Good grief, he went through a lot of trouble to bother you... I'd have walked away, not even waiting for the song to finish ;)
Fat Harry 3 years ago
I thought she had literally already said this took place after their second date?
Finnish Ewok 3 years ago
This was the day after their second date but after this there was no second date...?
Mario Strada 3 years ago
Wow, as a musician this makes my skin crawl. The interesting part is that at one point (and in a vastly different situation) doing that would be kind of sweet. Not in this case though. In fact, I can think of very few instances where something like that would fly today. For instance, amongst people that are already in a relationship, a new love, a summer love. Instances where you are 100% positive your feelings are reciprocated. I blame RomComs. In many of them, the same behavior that looks charming on screen would get you a restraining order at the very least.
Rhonda Wandler 3 years ago
You said V day was day after your second date. Then at the end you say 'needless to say there was no second date'. Did you make this whole thing up?
Michelle Carlson 3 years ago
This is why you ALWAYS have your phone password or PIN protected.
#27
He skated across the city to my place at 11PM to give me a bouquet of roses on HIS birthday. That was after we had only one date and I had told him I don't think we're a good match.
Fat Harry 3 years ago
For some reason I'm picturing rollerskates, but I expect it was a skateboard. Rollerskates is funnier though.
OnAFreakingRollercoaster 3 years ago
Or maybe ice skating down a frozen river? (Is totally possible where I grew up 😉)
Load More Replies... the Return of Bruno 3 years ago
Misguided. Slightly creepy. But less than evil incarnate like a lot of these guys.
rodger coghlan 3 years ago
When I was a youth one of my nightmares was being chased by grizzly bears (beat, beat) roller-skating backwards
#28
Oh, and then there was this one time when we met someone while clubbing. He was really awkward, and neither me nor the friend I was with knew with whom he actually flirted, but we weren't interested anyway. His friends were really embarrassed by him and his behaviour and we communicated directly that we weren't looking for a hookup. And once we wanted to leave, he wanted to "bring us home safely". lol As if I would let a stranger know where I live or as if I would trust a stranger walking with me through the industrial area where the club was back to our shared flat. Maybe 1-2 km, not far. But he didn't take No for an answer. So I told him to say goodbye to his friends so they know where he is. And while he did so, we left in a hurry and put as much distance between the club and us as possible. Walked home, sang dirty songs, woke up our roommates (they eventually forgave us for that). And never saw that guy again.
#29
Was at wedding a few months ago, had a guy follow me around the entire night. I don’t think I even said more than two words to him. I ignored him when talking in a group, I actively moved further away from him when he got closer and I made a point to not even look at him. Towards the end of the night, after more alcohol, I turned around one more time to him standing next to me and staring and I cracked and told him to get away from me.
Mystery Egg 3 years ago
I had a guy from another office do this at a work's party once. He kept trying to get me to 'go for a walk' with him. No attempt to even cover up the wedding ring he was wearing either.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Artículo brings out the stupid in people, so glad nothing more happened to you.
NetworkMan 3 years ago
Isn't that one of the Legendary Birds from Pokemon?
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Oskar vanZandt 3 years ago
Another example of a woman playing "hard to get"... in the eyes of entitled, self-absorbed @sshats at least.
#30
I have some weird talent of attracting my coworkers and they’re all so strange. one cornered me in his car and said he could tell by my body language that i was interested and how we should make out ( we literally never talked and i left the car after)
another i was close friends w but found out he was telling ppl we had sex, and kept inviting me out to expensive dinners that i kept turning down and saying were too much to spend on a friend. even since he finally got “the hint” he still is always talking ab me to my friends/coworkers and saying he “could’ve gotten me” he just didn’t feel like it
Jay TheSaltLord 3 years ago
If a guy tells people that you've had sex, start telling those same people that he cries during the act, called you "mummy dearest", can't c*m without wearing a clown nose + wig and that he begged you to stuff a cauliflower up his rear end. Or something similar. Ruin him socially.
Fat Harry 3 years ago
Cruel, but not quite cruel enough. Add that with the "mummy dearest" stuff he also likes to wear nappies/diapers and regularly wets himself at work because he likes the feeling.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Pisses me off that people won’t believe these guys are creeps and liars, but will totally believe than an innocent woman would have sex with them, and when she denies it, accuse HER of lying!
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Some men have certain talents that they think are great, like storytelling... They live in a world of maker believe, probably because they lacked something growing up. You, don't change girl, you did nothing wrong.
Ghaniyah Verma 3 years ago
Not a body language expert, I can tell for the first one. The second, why are you friends with him?
#31
I brought a guy over to my house to break up with him. I would have gone to his but I was 19 and didn't have a car. He wouldn't leave after I did it. Saying that because I had the decency to do it in person there must be a way to fix it. After a long time (hours) of me telling him to leave I just got ready for bed while he kept trying to convince me to take him back. I eventually turned off all the lights and went to bed. He sat in the dark of my living room in silence for another 40 minutes before finally giving up. We only went on like 5 dates over the course of like a month.
Katie Andrews 3 years ago
Sorry, no: you don't go private to break up. That's far better done in public face to face, or over text or phone if you suspect there might be ANY chance of violence. Breakups are the most volatile time, but I get it, you were 19, and trying to do the right thing. You're also lucky he didn't come into your bedroom! Live and learn.
Della Bean 3 years ago
I'm sorry, you got ready for bed, turned out the lights and left some Rando sitting in your house!! Are you Crazy??? You got lucky that he left!! Call police and get him gone at that point.
What do you think ?
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
Why is it that every woman knows someone (or has been someone) affected by sexual harassment or assault, but it seems like 0 men know a harasser or predator? These stories don't come out of the blue, gentlemen.
the Return of Bruno 3 years ago (edited)
I've known guys I suspect of being a harasser or predator. (I've even known some misguided guys who actually were trying to be nice.) But when Roman Polanski, Bill Clinton, Harvey Weinstein, etc., are all adored and fawned over by the mainstream media and Hollywood movies endlessly tell guys that persistence is the key to a woman's heart, what do you do, except keep your eyes peeled for when you can help someone out? But, Tracy, you are dead-on when you say predators don't come out of the blue. Odds are that they are terrible people who routinely display terrible attitudes, which is why I hate that BP always calls them "nice guys." (But OTOH, I do hope some guys see themselves in some of these stories and learn the difference between being romantic and being creepy.)
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ItsJess 3 years ago (edited)
I was in the horror DVD section at Best Buy (clearly this was some time ago), minding my business and texting my bf, when a guy commented on the DVDs I was holding. I made a comment about the one he was looking at and did the "ok bye" stranger nod and started to walk away. He followed me and proceeded to gatekeep my knowledge of horror while also fawning over my body. I checked out and said "bye" but he followed me down the escalator to Target where he not only watched me choose another DVD but made a comment about how much money I was spending. I was scared and embarrassed and didn't know how to get rid of him. Saying I had a boyfriend didn't help, he just told me to "break up with that loser". I finally told him I had an appointment and ran into the threading salon, told the older ladies in there, and they made him leave.
Dude 3 years ago
Hate that the term Nice Guy has been twisted into this awful new definition. Why not call these guys what they are? Asssholes!!
Powerful Katrinka 3 years ago
These were so hard to read, in part because I identified with every single one. Each and every story called up a memory of something similar that happened to me. The finger sucker, the backing me into a corner, the middle aged men propositioning me at my first job when I was 14, the old "friend" who suddenly announces that I have wanted sex with them all along... on and on and on. I'm now 63, and the last episode happened only 2 years ago. It's exhausting, and I'm so fücking tired of it.
Jasam Nitko 3 years ago
I keep meeting "nice guys" at stores. They need to find something and I politely point the way. That's all, from my side. They on the other hand keep talking, following me around, and in the creepiest cases touching me, hugging me, or touching my arm. I've spent decades wondering why I'm a target. I also thought it would stop when I get older, but it still happens.
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
Most, if not all of these, are guys who got the hint but are just ignoring it. Guys act like this because they feel entitled to women's time, attention and bodies.
Hotdogking 3 years ago (edited)
I would like to formally apologise to all women on behalf of these cockheads. These kind of people make me ashamed of my own gender. Edit: Well, it turns out I don't share a gender with these cockheads, so that's something
Yettichild 3 years ago
We know most of the guys out there aren't like this. Unfortunately, it's enough of them that it's safer to act cold to all to not encourage such behavior. If you see someone acting like this, call them out, distract them or pretend to know the person being harassed. It's not going to get better until these guys learn it's unacceptable, and as you can see, they don't believe women who tell them that. I've been harassed and assaulted. One guy tried to follow me home from a store. Now I'm having to teach my 14 year old niece what to do in these situations since they will happen to her too. That makes me more angry than what was done to me. The fact that we have to teach the young girls we know how to stay safe from not just the strangers out there, but the men they know as well.
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Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
Why is it that every woman knows someone (or has been someone) affected by sexual harassment or assault, but it seems like 0 men know a harasser or predator? These stories don't come out of the blue, gentlemen.
the Return of Bruno 3 years ago (edited)
I've known guys I suspect of being a harasser or predator. (I've even known some misguided guys who actually were trying to be nice.) But when Roman Polanski, Bill Clinton, Harvey Weinstein, etc., are all adored and fawned over by the mainstream media and Hollywood movies endlessly tell guys that persistence is the key to a woman's heart, what do you do, except keep your eyes peeled for when you can help someone out? But, Tracy, you are dead-on when you say predators don't come out of the blue. Odds are that they are terrible people who routinely display terrible attitudes, which is why I hate that BP always calls them "nice guys." (But OTOH, I do hope some guys see themselves in some of these stories and learn the difference between being romantic and being creepy.)
Load More Replies... ItsJess 3 years ago (edited)
I was in the horror DVD section at Best Buy (clearly this was some time ago), minding my business and texting my bf, when a guy commented on the DVDs I was holding. I made a comment about the one he was looking at and did the "ok bye" stranger nod and started to walk away. He followed me and proceeded to gatekeep my knowledge of horror while also fawning over my body. I checked out and said "bye" but he followed me down the escalator to Target where he not only watched me choose another DVD but made a comment about how much money I was spending. I was scared and embarrassed and didn't know how to get rid of him. Saying I had a boyfriend didn't help, he just told me to "break up with that loser". I finally told him I had an appointment and ran into the threading salon, told the older ladies in there, and they made him leave.
Dude 3 years ago
Hate that the term Nice Guy has been twisted into this awful new definition. Why not call these guys what they are? Asssholes!!
Powerful Katrinka 3 years ago
These were so hard to read, in part because I identified with every single one. Each and every story called up a memory of something similar that happened to me. The finger sucker, the backing me into a corner, the middle aged men propositioning me at my first job when I was 14, the old "friend" who suddenly announces that I have wanted sex with them all along... on and on and on. I'm now 63, and the last episode happened only 2 years ago. It's exhausting, and I'm so fücking tired of it.
Jasam Nitko 3 years ago
I keep meeting "nice guys" at stores. They need to find something and I politely point the way. That's all, from my side. They on the other hand keep talking, following me around, and in the creepiest cases touching me, hugging me, or touching my arm. I've spent decades wondering why I'm a target. I also thought it would stop when I get older, but it still happens.
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
Most, if not all of these, are guys who got the hint but are just ignoring it. Guys act like this because they feel entitled to women's time, attention and bodies.
Hotdogking 3 years ago (edited)
I would like to formally apologise to all women on behalf of these cockheads. These kind of people make me ashamed of my own gender. Edit: Well, it turns out I don't share a gender with these cockheads, so that's something
Yettichild 3 years ago
We know most of the guys out there aren't like this. Unfortunately, it's enough of them that it's safer to act cold to all to not encourage such behavior. If you see someone acting like this, call them out, distract them or pretend to know the person being harassed. It's not going to get better until these guys learn it's unacceptable, and as you can see, they don't believe women who tell them that. I've been harassed and assaulted. One guy tried to follow me home from a store. Now I'm having to teach my 14 year old niece what to do in these situations since they will happen to her too. That makes me more angry than what was done to me. The fact that we have to teach the young girls we know how to stay safe from not just the strangers out there, but the men they know as well.
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