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6 Simple Tips On How Men Can Help Women Feel Safer In Public And Other Situations Shared By A Twitter User
Societies have evolved, people have embraced new ways of life, but there are still plenty of issues we have to deal with collectively. One of the prominent ones is the treatment of women: from differences in wages to blocks in career paths to, worst of all, the harassment they face on a daily basis. Of course, not every woman suffers from such mistreatment, but since it’s a problem that’s been around for a long time, it’s well worth a discussion. That’s exactly what Twitter user bekah (@spvcecadets) did: she started a thread on how men can help women feel more secure in vulnerable situations, and it deservedly went viral. Best thing is that it goes both ways – think of it as general rules of putting people at ease during a stressful situation.
More info: twitter.com
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Women are one of the main demographics that often face harassment
Image credits: Susanne Nilsson (not the actual photo)
This Twitter user started a discussion on how men can help women in vulnerable situations
Image credits: spvcecadets
Image credits: spvcecadets
“If you hear a woman being bothered, walk over and support her,” said the post. It provided a natural way someone might interject into a conversation that was making a woman uncomfortable, with one of the methods being a claim to be a family member or a significant other. This would help take the pressure off, as well as provide security for the woman to easily leave the situation.
Cross the road at night, stand up for the woman who’s being harassed, or simply speak up about a situation
Image credits: spvcecadets
Image credits: spvcecadets
There are many ways a man (or anyone, really) can help women feel more secure. You can do a simple thing like cross the road if you walk behind a woman at night; that way, you don’t have to wonder why she’s constantly looking over her shoulder and the woman would also appreciate the gesture as she won’t have to count your footsteps behind her. Other advice includes speaking up about the issue, especially if you hear someone in your social circles use derogatory terms to speak about women—don’t be afraid to correct them!
These tips, such as not to engage in victim blaming, are helpful to both women and men
Image credits: spvcecadets
While the list of advice can be considered aimed towards women, it’s actually very helpful to men too. It provides enough information for men that they can be preemptive, instead of reactionary, meaning they won’t have to apologize or console a woman if they don’t do anything to startle or intimidate her in the first place.
The pandemic is not time to be lax on making sure you are respectful to women
Image credits: spvcecadets
Image credits: spvcecadets
As a modern nod towards the current pandemic, the user advised men not to wear masks whenever possible—while you have to comply with the rules and regulations of safety (which we wholeheartedly support!) whenever possible, it’s a good idea to take the mask off as it’ll put women at ease. Keeping the face visible is extendable to post-pandemic society too, as it’ll make you seem less intimidating, especially in poorly lit areas.
People jumped into the discussion with their own insights
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Stille20 4 years ago
As a woman who has lived in cities and traveled alone, I find this list excessive. It is the kind of overly cautions behavior that conservative men are afraid is expected of them. It's good to respect that when alone or at night a woman is on high alert and perceive you as a potential threat... but dictating that men need to announce their presence?
Shmoopaloop 4 years ago
I agree, I am a man and I honestly feel awkward doing any of these and I feel bad that a woman might think I will try to do something awful. But if you are uncomfortable and nervous just be honest on both sides.
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mac 4 years ago
Someone else's fears and paranoia are just that, someone else's! I am not going out of my way to prove to a complete stranger I am not a threat. All I CAN do is NOT assault women just like I have been doing my entire life.
Monika Nagyova 4 years ago
Just keep in mind It's most likely that the women that are fearful and paranoid have been harassed or assaulted before. I know I definitely became paranoid after a guy followed me and flashed me and offered me to suck his díck in the middle of the night on my 2 minute lone walk home. Luckily a man from the other side of the street (I saw him unlock his front door to get in his house) saw the creep following me and decided to make sure I'm all right and scared the pervert away. That was almost at my front door, without him the creep would know where I lived. Shít is scary.
Load More Replies...
Matt Tyson 4 years ago
Great post, but I have noticed that as a shorter, unattractive, chunky guy, that women are more likely to act creeped out if I look over there way once or twice instead of the tall good looking guy who has been staring/leering at them all night.
prov dawg 4 years ago
@Aunt Messy and @Mewton's Third Paw - "then don't look". This is exactly why people like Matt here don't save some women who may need it. You're teaching him to keep to himself and one day it will cost someone's life because someone LIKE Matt will "just not look" and miss the signs of a girl in lots of trouble. He's actively trying to f*****g help by giving his experiences and you f*******s do that.
Load More Replies...
Pazuzu 4 years ago
i rem seeing two guys outside a nightclub clearly following a really drunk girl up the road.stopping everytime she did,etc etc---i approached the girl and didnt get a chance to tell her because she started screaming at me--was very uncomfortable. so i decided to go back to the two lads and say my sister was pissed at me. they turned and left---its not easy to approach a situation like this as a man as i feel like i,m going to be thought a creep too
furbadger 4 years ago
That was a brilliant thing to do. And it worked. So on behalf of that girl, thank you
Load More Replies...
Duncan Ash 4 years ago
Most of these seem great, but telling us not to use our phones when we're around a woman at night just seems a bit excessive tbh
Monika Nagyova 4 years ago
I thought loudly using your phone is preferable as it means you're not creeping around or trying to hide from being seen. Body language is the most important part of making women feel safe, if you look non-threatning, they don't feel threatened.
Load More Replies...
ProfessionalTimeWaster 4 years ago
This 'pretend to be family' seems like a bad idea. 2 people maybe in it together....the guy may act friendly and turn on victim later after acting friendly. And this seems way too focused on Stranger Danger when it is much more likely to be hurt by someone you know. Infact, you should be very vary of people who seem extraordinarily friendly. Don't take dark lanes and don't help if you are alone, no matter how helpless they seem. Don't give lifts to strangers....if you feel like helping, give them cash to take a cab. Here's a site that has some great tips - https://www.crime-safety-security.com/
Rita Shapiro 4 years ago
So many comments about it not being all men, so can we just stipulate that victims can't tell who is a good guy and who isn't? And can we also agree to look out for one another regardless of our gender? It's not "too much effort" to reduce someone's anxiety or fear, nor should we feel it's a burden to avoid acting creepy. Staring at someone is rude, invading their personal space or touching them without permission is an affront, feeling entitled to say something inappropriate or denigrating to random women without getting called out on it is just toxic. OK, It's not YOU but sadly it's ubiquitous enough that virtually all women have had bad experiences. So maybe you should have some empathy, and do a couple of small things to make it better for everyone. When I got attacked the first responders wondered why I was out after dark and the doctor thought he was being helpful by admonishing me to stop walking alone from my bus stop. I can't stop bad men from doing bad things by myself.
Franc Esca 4 years ago
The late at night thing is naive. terrible stuff happens all day every day.
Stille20 4 years ago
As a woman who has lived in cities and traveled alone, I find this list excessive. It is the kind of overly cautions behavior that conservative men are afraid is expected of them. It's good to respect that when alone or at night a woman is on high alert and perceive you as a potential threat... but dictating that men need to announce their presence?
Shmoopaloop 4 years ago
I agree, I am a man and I honestly feel awkward doing any of these and I feel bad that a woman might think I will try to do something awful. But if you are uncomfortable and nervous just be honest on both sides.
Load More Replies... mac 4 years ago
Someone else's fears and paranoia are just that, someone else's! I am not going out of my way to prove to a complete stranger I am not a threat. All I CAN do is NOT assault women just like I have been doing my entire life.
Monika Nagyova 4 years ago
Just keep in mind It's most likely that the women that are fearful and paranoid have been harassed or assaulted before. I know I definitely became paranoid after a guy followed me and flashed me and offered me to suck his díck in the middle of the night on my 2 minute lone walk home. Luckily a man from the other side of the street (I saw him unlock his front door to get in his house) saw the creep following me and decided to make sure I'm all right and scared the pervert away. That was almost at my front door, without him the creep would know where I lived. Shít is scary.
Load More Replies... Matt Tyson 4 years ago
Great post, but I have noticed that as a shorter, unattractive, chunky guy, that women are more likely to act creeped out if I look over there way once or twice instead of the tall good looking guy who has been staring/leering at them all night.
prov dawg 4 years ago
@Aunt Messy and @Mewton's Third Paw - "then don't look". This is exactly why people like Matt here don't save some women who may need it. You're teaching him to keep to himself and one day it will cost someone's life because someone LIKE Matt will "just not look" and miss the signs of a girl in lots of trouble. He's actively trying to f*****g help by giving his experiences and you f*******s do that.
Load More Replies... Pazuzu 4 years ago
i rem seeing two guys outside a nightclub clearly following a really drunk girl up the road.stopping everytime she did,etc etc---i approached the girl and didnt get a chance to tell her because she started screaming at me--was very uncomfortable. so i decided to go back to the two lads and say my sister was pissed at me. they turned and left---its not easy to approach a situation like this as a man as i feel like i,m going to be thought a creep too
furbadger 4 years ago
That was a brilliant thing to do. And it worked. So on behalf of that girl, thank you
Load More Replies... Duncan Ash 4 years ago
Most of these seem great, but telling us not to use our phones when we're around a woman at night just seems a bit excessive tbh
Monika Nagyova 4 years ago
I thought loudly using your phone is preferable as it means you're not creeping around or trying to hide from being seen. Body language is the most important part of making women feel safe, if you look non-threatning, they don't feel threatened.
Load More Replies... ProfessionalTimeWaster 4 years ago
This 'pretend to be family' seems like a bad idea. 2 people maybe in it together....the guy may act friendly and turn on victim later after acting friendly. And this seems way too focused on Stranger Danger when it is much more likely to be hurt by someone you know. Infact, you should be very vary of people who seem extraordinarily friendly. Don't take dark lanes and don't help if you are alone, no matter how helpless they seem. Don't give lifts to strangers....if you feel like helping, give them cash to take a cab. Here's a site that has some great tips - https://www.crime-safety-security.com/
Rita Shapiro 4 years ago
So many comments about it not being all men, so can we just stipulate that victims can't tell who is a good guy and who isn't? And can we also agree to look out for one another regardless of our gender? It's not "too much effort" to reduce someone's anxiety or fear, nor should we feel it's a burden to avoid acting creepy. Staring at someone is rude, invading their personal space or touching them without permission is an affront, feeling entitled to say something inappropriate or denigrating to random women without getting called out on it is just toxic. OK, It's not YOU but sadly it's ubiquitous enough that virtually all women have had bad experiences. So maybe you should have some empathy, and do a couple of small things to make it better for everyone. When I got attacked the first responders wondered why I was out after dark and the doctor thought he was being helpful by admonishing me to stop walking alone from my bus stop. I can't stop bad men from doing bad things by myself.
Franc Esca 4 years ago
The late at night thing is naive. terrible stuff happens all day every day.
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