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“I Went Silent For A Minute After Reading This”: 45 Times People Realized Their SO Is An Idiot
Interview With Expert
We all have our moments, and some are less fortunate than others. However, Reddit user Careless-Reach1722 wanted to cut through the surface level and asked everyone on the platform to describe the moment they realized their partner was an absolute fool.
The discussion quickly went viral, and the stories range from innocent and funny to confusing and borderline alarming. If there's a common thread, though, it's that whenever you idealize someone, just spend more time with them, and you should be eventually reminded that nobody's perfect.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My wife recently told me she shouldn’t have gotten a speeding ticket because she was in “the fast lane”. I asked her why that matters, and she looked at me like I’m an idiot and said… “Because there’s no speed limit! That’s why it’s called the fast lane!”
She pays for her own auto insurance now.
"It's incredibly common for people to put their romantic partner on a pedestal, especially in the early phases of a relationship," Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University in New York City, told Bored Panda.
"This makes sense because we often make great investments into our romantic partners, in the context of the time, energy, money, and [other] resources we devote to them."
"In turn, we tend to over-index on their level of excellence as a way to validate our 'investment' decision, not only to others but also ourselves. Your choice of a romantic partner is one of the biggest decisions you’ll make in life, and it’s not only understandable, but evolutionarily essential to survival to want acceptance from the tribe," Dr. Romanoff, who also posts interesting psychology-related content on her Instagram account, explained.
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#2
When I tried to explain that “just because you have never experienced racism it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”.
#3
I didn’t consider her a f*****g idiot for it, but my last GF before meeting my wife randomly dropped in conversation she didn’t believe in dinosaurs. It was something like:
Me: it’s crazy people think that, it’s like not believing in dinosaurs.
Her: Well dinosaurs didn’t exist.
Me: ……what should we do for dinner.
I was flabbergasted for a week, couldn’t wrap my head around it. When she finally asked “you’ve been different what’s wrong” I basically exploded with “seriously?!? F*****g dinosaurs are fakes????” And we parted ways.
The first date with my now wife, I asked “do you believe in dinosaurs?” And she responded with something like “are you an idiot? It’s not a belief…they did, it’s science” and I breathed a sigh of relief.
According to the psychologist, people also tend to have sky-high expectations for love. "They often believe being in a relationship will be the ultimate key to happiness, which simply isn’t true. Real relationships take work. True love means really seeing and accepting the flaws and imperfections in your partner."
Dr. Romanoff said our society feeds us the fantasy that life will be incredible when we find our life partner, so when you finally form a relationship with someone, you may try to pump them up into an ideal partner to maintain that illusion.
"When you realize another person can never be responsible for your happiness, and every individual comes with ... flaws, disillusionment is inevitable," she added. "Many transmute that disillusionment into idealization, as they move into a sheltered fantasy world."
#4
I was dating a girl, an engineer of all things, we got along pretty well but she was a far right enthusiast and I'm more of a left person, but ok, fair enough.
Then one day we were talking about stuff that we diverged a lot like guns, abortion etc.
Then when I talked about global warming she was like "well but you know global warming is fiction created by the USA to control the poorer nations and prevent them from growing right?"
And then I was like "sure. Now next you'll tell me the earth is flat"
And she did just that.
#5
I think a lot of us found we were living with anti-science anti-vaxxers. Didn't see that coming.
You and your partner don't have to be perfect for each other in order to have a shot at the happily ever after. But you do need to share a vision.
"Compatibility is essential to stable, long-lasting relationships," Dr. Romanoff said. "The most important factors are shared values, communication styles, beliefs, and interests. No two people are identical in these realms, and all couples go through growing pains of learning about each other and how they can compromise when their styles diverge."
"Life is hard and filled with many unexpected challenges, and while love can sustain a strong spark in the beginning, compatibility and working together as a team are what will determine the quality and longevity of your relationship."
#6
Everything she doesn't understand is just "f*****g stupid".
Home loans and mortgage rates? "Well that's the point in a down payment if you pay it off over 30 years, what even is escrow, it's just f*****g stupid, why can't they just get us a house?".
Flight times. "Why the f**k are we flying at 12.45? Wouldn't it make more sense to go at 10? It's f*****g stupid".
Documentary of any kind "What, no that's f*****g stupid. No way that's real".
Not to mention she could not, or refused to figure out what bills are, how much they are, and when they were due. She f****d up our savings, multiple times because she couldn't figure out how to write down s**t on a calendar and I'd have to back pay it all with late fees.
Don't dare ask to set up a direct deposit. "That's f*****g stupid, what if I need the money for something else that day?".
She was so f*****g exhausting. Not gonna lie, the day I found out she cheated on me was the best day of my life at that point lmao. Ya boy was gooooone.
#7
My ex-husband had a 40th birthday party for me. He only invited his parents, his brother and his best friend. He didn't invite anyone for me.
#8
He came round the house with a burn mark on his neck. Had tried to iron a crease out of his tshirt... while he was wearing it.
3 months later did the exact same thing.
A 2023 study published in Personality and Individual Differences supports this notion.
Researchers asked participants to rank 153 characteristics (for example, morals, humor, intelligence, etc.) in terms of which they would like to share similarity with their romantic partner the most. (This question was asked regarding both long- and short-term relationships.)
The results produced a list of 24 compatibility dimensions that ended up considerably higher than others. They were: lifestyle, opinions, emotions, origins, sociality, romanticism, morals, family, food, sensation, class, religion, conformity, leisure, appearance, job, conflict, empathy, humor, residence, speech, intellect, enthusiasm, and activity.
#9
I once dated a woman who was a lawyer. I'm also a woman and she argued against gay marriage.
Big surprise that one didn't work out.
#10
My husband at the time admitted to me that he had intentionally fed our toddler something he knew he was allergic to. Thankfully our toddler didn’t have a reaction to it, but I was livid when he admitted he did it on purpose. Then he told me I was overreacting to his “legitimate parenting choice.”
When I showed him where in the doctor’s notes it said we were to avoid exposing him to ANY form of the allergen (which was also told to both of us in person at the last appointment) he insisted he didn’t know it was supposed to be complete avoidance, and since he didn’t know I couldn’t get mad at him for it. When I pointed out that our child could have died from it he insisted that because our child didn’t die it was obviously an okay decision.
This was the moment I knew I had to leave him before he k**led one of us.
Child of the Stars 2 weeks ago
Omg. That's way beyond "you're an idiot," that's grounds for a CPS visit and child abuse charges.
#11
When he yelled at me and said “you’re supposed to mop before you sweep”.
Careless-Reach1722:
I went silent for a minute after reading this.
The data revealed that the most important compatibility characteristic was having similar viewpoints on important issues such as sexism, abortion, the death penalty, and gender roles — generally speaking, participants wanted increased similarity on characteristics important for raising children.
Men preferred having similar activities and emotions, whereas women were more inclined towards partners with similar lifestyles, opinions, morals, levels of conformity, appearance, and empathy.
#12
He thought the movie Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was a documentary.
#13
When he told me our son with a lung condition wasn’t really that sick. That he just had a cold. No I can’t bring him to the er. I’m being dramatic. 24hrs later I called an ambulance. ICU for 9 days. Still tries to tell me it was all in my head. That he really wasn’t all that sick. Also not the first time he’s done this and my son ended up in the icu. There’s been thousands of other things but this is one I will never forgive. Hoping he will be my ex this year.
#14
When he asked me if he could use dish dishwashing soap in the dishwasher I said no and told him what would happen. Guess who came home to a kitchen bubble bath?
Went out to lunch with my cousin and aunt. She had moved to England from Canada a few years back. He asked her if it was difficult learning the language.
When he told his friends I was his trophy wife. I didn’t want to embarrass him, so I just laughed. Later in the car, he told me I embarrassed him, and I told him he embarrassed himself. He asked me why, and I had to define what a trophy wife was and why I am not. I am much higher educated and make more money than him, I’m older than him, I spent very little time on my outward appearance and definitely he doesn’t pay for any of it.
We are divorced.
So when you think about it, the occasional slip-up, even when it makes you doubt if your partner is the sharpest tool in the shed, isn't necessarily something to worry about. It's the trajectory of your relationship that matters.
But if there is something they do that annoys you and you want to address it, don't rush. Pick your battles. Dr. Romanoff said, try to identify if this is worth bringing up or if you’re influenced by situational factors, like your tiredness, hunger, or frustration.
"If this is an important topic that you want to bring up, then determine a safe time to discuss it—not in the heat of an argument or when in public around friends or loved ones," she suggested. "Wait until you both feel safe, calm, and at ease to politely use 'I' statements to share how you feel about their behavior."
"Avoid any statement that starts with 'you' as this will trigger a defensive stance and result in a game of 'find the bad guy.' Instead, share your more tender and vulnerable feelings of how their behavior made you feel, so they understand your hurt, and then suggest a realistic, actionable step for them to work on in the future."
#15
I definitely was not in a relationship with this girl, just seeing each other, but she did tell me that she didn’t believe in dolphins. Reasoning? She has never seen one in person.
#16
He told me some women's cl*ts are on their necks. He thought erogenous zone and clit were interchangeable.
KatSaidWhat 2 weeks ago
That's it, I'm getting eyebrow tattoos because lord knows when these ones will come back down from that launch into space.
#17
I dated a girl who dropped a few gems, one was:
"Why do we say words instead of just spelling them?"
I stared blankly, asked her to repeat herself, hoping I didn't hear correctly. I did. I replied;
"B-E-C-A-U-S-E-I-T-W-O-U-L..."
Around this point she got a really confused look on her face and said "Whaaaaat?"
And I said, "that's why."
Another time a friend of mine mentioned his dog had a litter of puppies. The girl I was seeing said:
"What if human moms could have more than one baby?"
"...You mean like, siblings? Don't you have an older brother?"
"No, I mean like, at the same time!"
"You've never heard of twins?"
Then she got angry and didn't talk for a while.
The relationship didn't last long.
#18
He told me that he didn't have to talk to me anymore. 3 days after the wedding. I left 100 days after that. F*****g idiot.
#19
We were no longer married, but when he said he didn’t know what the parenting agreement said because he hadn’t read it. He went to law school. Still signed a binding document about his children without reading it.
#20
I walked in on a debate between my gf at the time and my brother. She was arguing that the human brain is located outside of the skull. Like on top of it, I guess? Oof.
#21
My ex wife was overpaying the cable bill. For years. By a lot. Because it's smart to pay more than you owe on bills. If they're loans. Not subscriptions. The cable company wound up owing us so much that they had to get clearance from accounting to pay us back. It was over a grand.
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
I had people doing that when I was working for an energy supplier. I tried to explain to them that the monthly rates are calculated to cover their annual usage, so there was no need to "pay extra for the winter". And that all they did was giving us an interest-free loan. But hey, what did I know, I was just the customer service lady....
#22
After 2 years together she decided she was bi and wanted to explore her sexuality. I was uncomfortable with having an open relationship but I really liked her and wanted it to work. We agreed that we could sleep with other people but she became extremely volatile when she realized that if I was going to sleep with someone else it would be a woman and not a man. She figured that since she would be having s*x with another woman it made sense for me to have s*x with another man. I'm not bi. I have no attraction to men. She eventually decided against the whole open relationship thing.
This relationship did not last.
#23
When he blocked the toilet by putting thick paper towel down there and after trying to unblock it for a total of 2 minutes, he had a tantrum, yelled at me and stormed out to the pub for an hour. Whilst he was gone I managed to unblock it in less than 30 seconds. When he got back, he had another tantrum and went back to the pub for what I believe was emasculating him. Good times 😒.
#24
I'm sharing this on behalf of my father, who must have thought this when he saw my mother do this.
So our family was playing Pictionary with another family, and it was my mother's turn to draw. The category was "Difficult" so we all expected a challenge.
My mother starts drawing and ends up with a very poor attempt at a Chinese person's face and head. None of us are able to get even close to it and we are perplexed as to what she is trying to draw.
Time runs out, and she exclaims "It's Mao!!"
I'm like, what?! Mao Zedong?! "Yes, the Chinese leader!" she says
I say, "There is NO WAY a Pictionary card would expect players to draw a portrait of Chairman Mao freestyle, show me the card!"
Mom hands me the card, and I look at the word under difficult, and I collapse on the floor in hysterical laughter.
The card read "Mow" as in "mowing the lawn".
My mother will never live that down.
#25
Dated someone a long time ago that thought the government was spraying pesticides on his 20ftx15ft garden every night.
#26
A boy I dated in college visited my house for the first time. I grew up on a dairy farm. He turned into the laneway and looked at me dead in the eye and was like “wow your dad seriously needs to cut the grass” … It was a huge field of hay. My parent’s laneway is about a quarter mile long of field on both sides. It’s quite obvious that was it was not a patch of grass.
#27
Not me. But over the holidays my brothers wife "( a Maga moron) started talking about the" lights in the sky "and apparently how the gvt of course is covering it all up. At one point she asked" and why do you think we can only see the lights at night "?! That's when I tried to reply without sounding like an a*****e" because it's dark out? ". Of course everyone thought I was being a d**k...
Ariom Dahl 2 weeks ago
Hmm. Logic does not appear to be her strong point. (or that of the 'everyone' you mentioned.) :)
#28
When I told him you don’t catch colds by being cold and he said “I don’t care about your ‘scientific facts’” and yes he air quoted “scientific facts”.
#29
My normally quite intelligent spouse licked a vanilla frosting scented candle to see if it tasted as good as it smelled.
It did not taste good at all.
#30
Not really in a relationship but about a third date and the girl I was dating noticed I had "gamer callouses" and declared she was deeply concerned because "the only way she could think of that someone could get callouses on their hands like that was from hitting people.
I took stock of the situation, pondered my blue collar family that has calloused hands a dozen different ways, and decided it was better to not go on another date rather than untangle whatever was going on there.
zububonsai 2 weeks ago (edited)
Looking furtively at my gnarly, calloused hands. 😬 Must have hit a lot of people then. (middle aged F here)... Okay, I totally get if this blue collar person runs far away.
#31
I was told “don’t be stupid, a tape measure won’t tell you the length”. By my husband. Who is a builder.
Panda McPandaface 2 weeks ago
Of course he didn't want her near him with a tape measure - he'd been lying for all those years...
#32
About ten minutes ago he began washing his hands over the strainer filled with cooked food. (:.
#33
When I told her how a vaccine was made and she said I didn't know what I was talking about and insulted my education. When I googled it and showed her proof, she refused to believe it and told me you can't believe everything you read on the internet.
#34
He couldn’t figure out what was better value; $15 for a pack of 12, or $1 each.
#35
Girl I was dating in high school told me she thought that girls/women who get r***d actually wanted it. I asked her to elaborate and she explained that she thought they could just fight off any man who assaulted them. She was about 5 ft tall and 100 lbs and just would not budge on the notion that no man on earth could possibly overpower her.
#36
Not my relationship but a relative. She poured the melted wax from her warmer into the disposal side of the sink….good thing her husband was capable of replacing the drain and disposal. We still bring that up.
#37
When he admitted to me that he thought the absorbency level of tampons was determined by the size of a woman’s vaginal hole. Basically, super tampons meant you had a wider hole. Married man with five kids.
Lost Panda 2 weeks ago
Just because he is married w/ 5 children does not mean he would know this. If no one had educated him on it, then how would he know? Sure, you could claim "common sense", but sometimes brains don't function this way. (Reference: I'm married w/ 3 daughters myself. No one told me until I started asking what they needed)
#38
I dated a doctor in medicine. And she was far from being an idiot but this was a funny ”idiot moment”. She was scared that she would one day crack open an egg and there would be an embryo in it.
I told her that I believed that to be highly unlikely since I don’t think they have any roosters around the hens where we get our eggs from. She questioned why that would matter.
I even asked her again if she meant that she didn’t think the lack of a male would be worth factoring in.
It took her a while to see the point and joked that her Ph.D would be revoked if told anyone.
Ace 2 weeks ago (edited)
Not as stupid as you think, and indeed the poster is displaying their own ignorance. Some species of poultry are in fact capable of reproducing by parthenogenesis. If it's possible for turkeys why wouldn't she also be open to the ideas that it might also be possible for chickens? https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet-earth/turkeys-are-capable-of-virgin-birth
#39
My ex wife once asked if I wanted to take a 3 day trip and drive around the entire Pacific Ocean. We lived in Missouri at the time.
RedHairedDragon 2 weeks ago
When I'm writing this, there's a picture of the Atlantic ocean for this post
#40
He insisted on “opting out” of the x-ray scanners at airports because he didn’t want them having his image. The man was a professional Internet personality, his face and info aren’t hard to find lol.
Child of the Stars 2 weeks ago
This is like when people argue against facial recognition to unlock your phone or computer because "now they have your face." As if government issued photo IDs haven't been a thing for decades.
#41
I asked him to clean the toilet. Came back to him having unscrewed the toilet seat and asking for further instruction.
#42
I knew it was bad when his phone notified him that his charging port was dusty and needed a cleaning, so he stuck it under the tap and rinsed it with water to clean it out. Then this 30 year old man wondered why his phone wasn't charging at all anymore.
#43
When she thought Alaska was an island. She lived in the PNW so there was no reason for not knowing the geography.
#44
"I was in my thirties when I saw you fixing a toilet and realized they don't use electricity to flush."
"That's hilarious! That's like thinking bath taps use electricity!"
"Wait, what?"
Edit: she's not really an idiot. She has a PhD. But talking about anything plumbing related is white noise to her and she thinks there are people in wellies who can deal with that sort of thing so she doesn't need to ever learn it.
KatSaidWhat 2 weeks ago
We have people in this building that can look at a DNA helix and unravel it for you but everything else is complex. Including timed password reset links.
#45
Not me but a friend.
Her ex-husband had a doctor’s appointment and the office told him to bring in a stool sample.
He asked my friend what kind of lousy doctor doesn’t have a stool for him to sit on when we went to the visit.
Poll Question
How do you usually react when your partner does something foolish?
Laugh it off
Get annoyed
Feel embarrassed
Talk it out
What do you think ?
Pamelot 2 weeks ago
My husband started to leave to play golf on Easter Sunday. I said "Whoa -- you're playing golf on Easter Sunday?!" He replied, "Oh, is Easter on a Sunday this year?".
HelyerT 2 weeks ago
My husband wanted a sundial. Went to garden centre seen one. It had a label. Made in China. He said I like this one. I said it’s nice but you have to set it to UK time, he’s goes how’d you do that lol
Pamelot 2 weeks ago
My husband started to leave to play golf on Easter Sunday. I said "Whoa -- you're playing golf on Easter Sunday?!" He replied, "Oh, is Easter on a Sunday this year?".
HelyerT 2 weeks ago
My husband wanted a sundial. Went to garden centre seen one. It had a label. Made in China. He said I like this one. I said it’s nice but you have to set it to UK time, he’s goes how’d you do that lol
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