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“My New Wife Changed The Second I Said ‘I Do’”: 30 Reasons Why People Filed For Divorce In Less Than A Year, As Shared Online
It’s no big secret that happily-ever-after takes a lot of work – however, the problem is that sometimes you get so blinded by the whole idea of marriage that you fail to see its true colors.
“People whose marriages lasted less than a year, months, weeks, days, or even hours, when did you realize you’d made a mistake and why?” – this netizen took to Reddit to query others on their failed wedlock. The post garnered over 25K upvotes as well as 4.6K comments containing some bizarre stories.
More info: Reddit | Matt and Sarah Davies
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Two months in he told me I was too fat and will no longer be [making love] with me. I lost 75lbs in three months (by doing it the wrong way) and he told me he was already seeing someone else. He seemed surprised my parents would no longer pay his bills, and was kicked off their property 30 days later (per laws of my state).
Dana Dickinson Scott 2 years ago
You lost 75 pounds PLUS whatever that jerk weighed. Live your life and be happy. 🎉
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
The fact OP's parents were paying his bills should have been the first red flag
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
You are perfect. He can't change being an a*s hole, but you can be whomever you want to be .... and as my 11th grade teacher said in class "Fat feels better in bed".
Rachel Smith 2 years ago
I would have left him once he said I was too fat and he was withholding sex. That's super controlling.
Dana Dickinson Scott 2 years ago
Kicked off the property? I think a catapult would’ve been better.
To get a more professional outlook on wedlock and why it sometimes fails, Bored Panda reached out to Matt and Sarah Davies. First things first, let’s start with a little introduction: Matt and Sarah Davies are co-authors of the self-help book “You, Me and the Space Between Us: How to (Re)Build Your Relationship.” It was published in February 2023 and includes stories from their own journey through relationship therapy as well as vignettes from the clients they have worked with.
Matt Davies is a marriage counselor and psycho-sexual and relationship therapist, while Sarah Davies is a movement and somatic coach, trainer and a founding member of Open Floor movement practice. Together they blend therapeutic techniques with movement in workshops on sexuality and relationships and see clients in therapy sessions, as well as in their individual practices in London and South East in the UK.
Now, BP asked the experts why relationships fail, and they replied as follows: “Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Relationship difficulties are normal. Yet, when indifference sets in, when you or your partner don’t care about the relationship anymore, that’s trouble. An inability to manage conflict can lead to this or a breach of trust or ongoing long-term disappointment.”
RELATED:
#2
When my (former) buddy called me to tell me he got herpes from my wife.
I was in Afghanistan.
Edit: I did not contract it. My buddy called to *warn* me.
Edit II: that was years ago. I'm retired now and remarried happily to an amazing woman that somehow tolerates me.
Edit III: I am thankful he told me.
Ryan-James O'Driscoll 2 years ago
Oh wow. I'm glad that whatever remained of his former friend's wafer-thin integrity stood up enough to give that warning. But that hardly comes close to excusing his behaviour.
Bonesko 2 years ago
No, but telling him was the right thing to do, which he did. We all make mistakes, some worse than others.
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Christine Watson 2 years ago
How do you know he didn't give it to her then get in first to tell you to be the "good guy."
Carlo La Porta 5 months ago
I am wondering how his friend got to do the deed with her in the first place. I would most likely be calling him my ex-friend or former friend.
liyanee 2 years ago
Huh? He slept with his wife and probably only told him, because he was frustrated about getting herpes. He clearly put the ho before his bro.
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We also wondered if a marriage can be saved: “Yes, together, you can save your marriage, rebuild trust, rekindle the passion and manifest love. Inevitably it will take both people to be willing for this to happen and a willingness to tolerate the vulnerability that this will require. The openness to learn to communicate, to talk and listen, and to listen not only to what is being said verbally but also non-verbally. With that will come an understanding of each other’s emotional and physical needs, and by validating that, emotional and psychological intimacy can be built.”
“Only you can know if it’s worth staying in this relationship. Suppose the problems are not about this relationship but how you are in the relationship. In that case, there is a probability that you will recreate this same relationship dynamic in your next relationship. At some point, you might feel ready or interested to stay and work through that.
There’s an 80/20 guideline. If 80% of this relationship is good enough, then it’s good enough. If the remaining 20% is a bit lacklustre, irritating or some distance from your ideal, you might find ways to forgive. If there is emotional abuse or physical violence, then leave the relationship,” Matt and Sarah added when we asked if saving a relationship is worthwhile.
#3
On our honeymoon she didn’t want to do anything but fight, so I left 2 days early to be with my dog lol. Then she stopped wearing her ring and refused to tell people she was married, referring to me as her boyfriend instead. The final straw was when my grandpa was dying and she said “I wish he’d just hurry up and die already. I’m tired of this apartment being so depressing all the time”
Made it 4 months in all before filing for divorce
Edit: I want to thank you all for the support and the interest in my little story here. I’ve been getting a lot of repeat questions, so I’ll put a little FAQ here.
How long were we together?: We were together about a year, give or take a little.
Did I not notice the red flags?: The relationship seemed relatively normal until we got married. She had her share of issues (bad childhood, severe anxiety, bulemia) but I was dumb and thought I could fix them.
If there were red flags, why did I marry her?: I had just had a really bad breakup with my girlfriend of 4 years a few months before meeting my first wife. We had made plans for our future (marriage, kids, the works) and the breakup really messed me up. I was insecure and afraid of being alone, so I probably would have married anyone. Young, dumb, and unoccustomed to heartbreak.
Did I keep the dog?: of course. I may have gotten rid of the wife, but no chance in hell was I getting rid of the dog. We took her and moved her far away and now she’s got lots of people around all the time to spoil her and fatten her with treats. She recently got a little brother who tolerates haha.
Are things better now?: very much so. I took a few years being single and just learning who I was and wanted to me. I’m happily remarried, and this time it’s stuck. And I’m stuck. My wife won’t let me leave, send help /s
Mr.G86 2 years ago
It's over as soon as you try and "fix" someone else. Just let people crash and burn and learn from the experience.
Legendbird 2 years ago
Yeah. People are like electronics via eBay. If you have to fix them, you aren't going to be able to, unless you REALLY know what you are doing.
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Elvira 2 years ago
On my honeymoon in Disney, my husband kept leaving to find a staff member who would buy him Mountain Dew since Disney doesn't carry Pepsi products. Okay, not a huge deal, people are weird about their drinks like that. 9 months later when I was delivering our son in the OB department and he left to buy that baby crib he said he bought a week ago but confessed he didn't.....I finally learned all those times he left to buy things he never came back with but the money was gone anyway.....he was buying meth. My divorce took 8 minutes with a judge who gave me everything, and allowed me to appear by phone from out of state as I was in medical school by then.
Elvira 2 years ago (edited)
Funny now that I am remembering....my wedding ceremony took exactly 12 minutes (got married under a clocktower so I know). So my divorce literally took 33% less time than marrying him did. :)
Load More Replies... Robin Roper 2 years ago
Sorry, it "bad childhood" isn't an (as in 1) issue, it's a whole bakers dozen of issues.
Amanda Porter 2 years ago
It's never your job to "fix" someone unless your a doctor of some kind. You just offer support, and bolster their emotions. Some people don't want to be "fixed". "Don't save her! She don't wanna be saved! Don't save her!"
Nancy Austin 1 month ago
It's not the one you can live with-it's the one that you cannot live without!
Laura Smith 4 months ago
People always ignore the red flags vuz their in love. Or they think that red flag behavior is cute in the beginning, which is completely ignorant
Panda-sized Potato 2 years ago
"When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags." ~Lisa Kudrow as Wanda Pierce (Bojack Horseman)
Christine Watson 2 years ago
Having experienced childhood trauma doesn't make you an a*****e, if anything its more likely to make you a people pleaser. I'd say she was just an a*****e anyways
#4
To be honest I didn't really want to be married to her; however she was determined to get married by age 24 regardless, and at the time I had significant difficulties saying "No", I was working 60+ odd hours a week in a kitchen to help pay for everything and I was struggling with my mental health at the time and we grew further and further apart emotionally.
I found out less than 5 months into the marriage that she had been unfaithful to me for at least a year - so 6/7 months before the wedding, whilst she had been planning it she had been sleeping with other people. Whilst she had been putting serious pressure on me to provide £££ for her dream wedding she had also had an abortion because she didn't know whether I would have been the father or not.
When I found this all out I basically had a breakdown and tried taking my own life, I also spent a few years after this blaming myself for the breakdown of my marriage and her behaviour.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
just curious .. why you? Was she pressuring the other person for marriage? Or did she just want to plan a wedding (some girls are like that)?
Jp@nda 2 years ago
You really sound like a misogynist. It's not"some girls are like that" I've met plenty of men too that don't care who fills the position, they just want someone pretty on their arm so they can have the trophy wife that stays at home and raises his kids and keeps the house nice. Doesn't give a c**p about the relationship, just the appearance.
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Crystal Spencer 2 years ago
I hope you are in a better mental space now. If not, please reach out to someone...anyone. I lost my first husband after his 3rd wife (I was 2nd) did something similar. He was my best friend and father of my children and I miss him everyday despite being happily remarried. If we had only paid closer attention....or he spoke up about where he was mentally... I'm available anytime to anyone reading this in need of an ear. I know I make smart a*s comments and stuff on here and am silly a lot but I'm here for anyone who is lonely or needs help. Seriously.
We then invited our experts to share some go-to tips that might help you mend the relationship:
- “Increase your self-care. In times of relationship stress or crisis, ensure you take care of yourself. Find ways to support yourself that help you to feel resilient and grounded. To navigate the bumpy terrain, it helps to feel as safe and at home in yourself as you can be.
- Keep talking about what’s difficult. Please don’t ignore it or push it away. Admit to negative feelings or aspects of your relationship that you find challenging. If you can’t talk to your partner about it, find a therapist or someone else you can trust.
- Eliminate criticism. Behind that criticism will be something you need; find non-confrontational ways to express what you need instead of moaning, blaming or criticising. You might not get your needs met, but at least you practice saying what they are.
- Keep appreciating, even those tiny little things you’ve taken for granted, and verbalise your gratitude. Say thank you for anything you can muster some appreciation of; don’t underestimate the power of positivity!
- Maintain physical touch; if you’re not sexually intimate, don’t give up on the cuddles, hand-holding or other opportunities to be in sensual contact.”
#5
Cliffs: My new wife changed the second I said "I do." She instantly became controlling, manipulative, and would lie about anything to get her way (and double down when caught). The marriage lasted about 10 months.
Before we got married, she was considerate, kind, and sweet. Apparently all for show.
Featherking 2 years ago
And psychopaths. Or, in updated terms, people with antisocial personality disorder. They’re good at it too, as a rule. Very good.
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WiggleJiggle the Emo Penguin 2 years ago
OP’s wife either thinks that you can’t leave after you were married (🙄) or she’s a sociopath
Mary Pigott 2 years ago (edited)
This happened in the 1920s. My grandmother married a man(before she met my grandfather after he returned from WW1). The day after the wedding he basically told her the rules. He would do whatever he wanted, drink, cuss, fool around etc. My grandmother left in the first week and got an annulment.
BoredMe 2 years ago
Good for her. A lot of women back then would have just eaten it
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Callie Ge 2 years ago
Same with my Ex husband, the day after we got married, it was like someone had flipped a switch, gone was the generous , funny, kind man I married, in came the controlling, manipulative, abuser. Discovered in hind sight that he had Borderline personality disorder, was a narcissist & borderline psychopath. He hid it so well, but they all do, my dad said the same thing about my mother, day after the I dos she was like a different person, took a long time for it to emerge just how crazy she was. She Stopped taking her antipsychotic meds.
Diana Sheeks 2 years ago
Same with my ex husband.. night of honeymoon switch went on. Completely different person. A decade after that divorce, same thing happened the day of moving in with boyfriend of 2 years.. I moved out in 6 months. Everyone thought he was great, but I didn't recognize him from move in day on and he refused counseling, so...bye, bye!
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marianne eliza 2 years ago
Had a husband like that. We lived together for 2 years before we got married. All the household chores were divided on an A list and a B list and we traded each week. Worked great. After the I do's it suddenly all became women's work even though I worked full time too. But, as he actually told our counselor, he stacked 3 cords of firewood twice a year.
BoredMe 2 years ago
Someone who does this was deliberately planning to do this. They *knew* the difference between how they were behaving and how they really were. This, IMO, makes everything all the worse.
Dora Vee 2 years ago
Yea, but most such people aren’t that good at hiding things. That’s why the red flag list exists.
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Angie Heno 2 years ago (edited)
This happened to a well loved family member. Their partner showed their true colors in route to their honeymoon destination, but it was the seventies and they were devoutly Catholic. Marriage didn't end until about 3 years ago when the family member passed away. I never knew how bad things were until they passed (but I had a feeling). I always think about how much better their life would've been if they divorced. :(
Elora Danan 2 years ago (edited)
I know someone who is with someone like this. Sadly, he is chosing to stay with her, despite how terrible she is to him. I can't help but wonder if it's because she has everyone brainwashed into taking her side and, since she claims all of his stuff is hers, he fears he will lose everything if he divorces her. I have told him that, while divorce is a pain in the a*s, doing it will be far better in the end than throwing his life away on someone who makes his life hell.
Dora Vee 2 years ago
He’ll lose everything anyway, only if he stays, he’s stuck with her.
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Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Ugh, my ex husband! I'll freely admit he was a rebound from the guy I was madly in love with who decided he didn't want a committed relationship. The ex was like a puppy - really cute, always excited to see me and completely stupid. As soon as we got married he decided that I was not allowed to hug men who were not family members (half of my friend group), I laughed too loud (WTF?) and that he KNEW I had slept with his best man, a guy young enough to be my son and in no way someone I found desirable. Turns out he was bi-polar, which I didn't know. When he was upset with me he wouldn't take his meds to "teach me a lesson", he stalked & harassed his ex (and spent time in jail for it) which no one thought to mention. Just a sh*t load of stuff. I'd finally had enough after he trashed MY house. I called his Dad and said "You've got 15 minutes to get this psycho out of my house before I make him hit me and he goes to jail". Filed for divorce the next day. Didn't last a year.
#6
When she cheated on me for the third time in 10 months. Because for some reason the first two didn't convince me....
Allen Packard 2 years ago
One time. Even a "just" texts or conversations. Bounce. It is not an "accident".
Brady Rhoads 2 years ago
I'm so sorry people do this s**t. I was never married to her but still wasted 10 years of my life on and off with the same cheating woman. Thought it was always my fault for not being the movie star model dude she always cheated on me with (she did one s****y D rated movie and some nude modeling) and kept forgiving her. I even forgave her the night my roommate had a party and walked out onto the porch to find her sitting on another guy's lap. She kept dissappearing with him throughout the night and once we argued about it, she left with hum and I didn't see her for months. That was the beginning of my full blown alcoholism. I tried to drink myself to death for weeks. Years later, I got over myself and sought help. Now I'm in a healthy relationship of almost 3 years and I'm so happy I could cry. Sometimes, we need to look inward for the issue.
Amberlie Mikelsen 2 years ago
Third time's the charm? Or three strikes and you're out... Technically, either one is applicable, and appropriate, but it still sux brass
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
Better than the 10th time finally convinced you ... You will find someone wonderful who is a non-cheater.
Last but certainly not least, Matt and Sarah Davies said: “A relationship can be a safe container through which to grow, be seen, develop an ability to enjoy intimacy and reach our potential. Having a loving partner on this life journey is immensely rewarding because of the challenges, not despite them. Relationships are the hub of families, communities, and societies. If we are to find ways to improve our world and create meaningful lives for ourselves, loving relationships are at the centre of this.”
#7
I had 2 good friends who were brothers. They were party animals. Out drinking at bars all the time, sleeping with different women every weekend, recreational [illegal substances]. Their idols were the whole "Jackass" crew back in the day. They just loved that whole bachelor lifestyle, and to be honest, I was a bit jealous of the fun they were having. I was in a longer term relationship for many years. Eventually the younger brother settled down and got engaged to a really nice girl. Something broke in the older brothers mind and he suddenly was in some sort of "race" to get married before his younger brother. He kept living the bachelor life style, but then one day annouced to us all he was engaged to be married and with his fiancé they'd set a wedding date to be married 6 months before his younger brother. None of us ever met this girl before we found out he was engaged. When we did meet her, it was clear he'd not been open with her about his lifestyle. She was a very prim and proper lady. Very shy, quiet. They worked together, so she only knew the professional side of him. Over the months leading to the wedding, his partying kept going. He was cheating on her with one night stands but she was oblivious. Our group of friends told him he needed to tell her what he was doing, but he refused. I was nominated to be the one to tell her before it was too late. I met her for coffee and told her how he was cheating on her and the drugs he was using. She was generally taken aback, but she told me to my face, she was still going to marry him and that she could change him. I left with a clear conscience after that. Fast forward to their wedding day and it is an absolute mess. He is drunk before the reception even starts and passes out in a corner sometime after dinner. As I am leaving, I say goodbye to his bride, and I can see it in her eyes. The definition of regret. They ended up being together for exactly one year. Her final straw was when she really wanted to go out for a special brunch for their one year anniversary. She made plans at a fancy place. He told her he was going out to party the night before but would be home in time to get some sleep before their anniversary started. He ended up hooking up with some chick he picked up at the bar, and when he finally made it home the next afternoon, his wife had packed her bags and left.
I felt bad for her at first, but then I remembered how I laid everything on the table with her and she still did it. I've never seen or spoken to her again. My friend ended up repeating his pattern. He is on his 4th marriage now, but does seem to have finally settled down this time.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
[illegal substances]?? REALLY? This is getting just idiotic.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
Next thing you know, bp will censor “stupid” with [unsmart]
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Fabian Bernard 2 years ago
I really don't judge lifestyle, but if you are a stray man don't get married. Have fun but please do not hurt anyone. My father is like that. Three divorces, five ( known) children ( as none of us would be surprised having a brother/ sister in a closest), nearly 70 and still on the cheating/ dumped/losing everything/ getting along with someone again shema. I told him once, be free to be what you are, but you're not set to get married or having kids
LangiStudios 2 years ago (edited)
I hope no children were born in those messy marriages. Yeesh. "She was generally taken aback, but she told me to my face, she was still going to marry him and that she could change him." - I literally murmured, "Oh, honey, no".
Carlos Philano 2 years ago
He's on his fourth marriage and probably couldn't trust you for the fourth time... Hope he gets rid of you if he sobers up himself..
watitduful 2 years ago
You played it right. Some choose to let adversity teach them. Glad she was able to still get out.
Nahkaparturi X 2 years ago
Oddly specific knowledge of details for someone at the third person view
Jp@nda 2 years ago
No, not really, not if you're a tight group of friends that have been friends since kids. I know more than I want to about friends personal lives
Load More Replies... #8
I had a friend who married one of the most horrible people I’ve ever met. So charming at first, but within the first 3 months of them being together, we all started to notice a few things and we decided none of us liked him. One day we saw hand shaped bruises on her arms, and literally the next day they were at the courthouse getting married. We had a small gathering shortly after, which he ended up turning into their wedding celebration, bachelor party, whatever he could to make it all about him. He got extremely drunk, and basically tried to [take her life] in front of all of us. She told us they didn’t have their rings yet, but they would get them soon, and he walked over to her and started strangling her for embarrassing him. She ended up breaking down, and realizing that for the entire four months of their relationship, and nine days of their marriage, he had progressively gotten more and more abusive, and she made a mistake.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
Abuse never gets better without help ... unfortunately, not everyone see's that and hopes it will change.
Bonesko 2 years ago
No it does not. It gets worse, and even worse yet, normalized. I hope she's doing better now.
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Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
Hey, Bored Panda, there is a shorter way to say “take her life”; that word is kill. Kill is an actual, legitimate word with an actual definition, and it is not a cuss word, a bad word, or a word that triggers people into hiding in a closet. It is absurd the words you refuse to print. Kill, murder, dead, suicide, drugs, rape, mental illness…all words with meanings that don’t send people spiraling off the deep end. Get a grip.
Featherking 2 years ago (edited)
I know. It’s downright insulting. It would seem they firmly believe our minds are made out of spun glass that’ll just tinkle and crash into utter psychosis if we at any point get subjected to the fact that people die at the end of their lives. And that there’s a word for it. Which is “die”. A potentially homicidal psychosis, even, if their censoring panic is anything to go by. Come on now, BP.
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Amberlie Mikelsen 2 years ago
This woman would definitely benefit from reading the poem "He sent me flowers today". I don't know who wrote it, if it's not just one of those "anonymous" authors, but it's about the rationalization mindset of an abuse victim; "But it's okay cuz he sent me flowers today"... Right up until the flowers are for her grave.
Dana Dickinson Scott 2 years ago
If she was my daughter and I saw bruises on her…Dude would be missing shortly there after.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
God I hope they literally called the police on the spot. But I'm guessing not.
Vira 2 years ago
This is a good thought, but I also think calling the police often doesn't do anything but make it worse. The victim would have to agree there's a problem, and the abuser will say they are the actual victim.
Load More Replies... Christine Watson 2 years ago
Narcissistic abuser at their best sadly - love bombs their way in or back in everytime
#9
Not me but a friend. Their marriage didn’t last through the reception. Groom got absolutely s**t face drunk and slaps the brides child from a previous relationship and then hits the bride in the face. She filed for an annulment the next morning.
EDIT
Just wanted to update on the fallout a little since this comment has a lot of traction.
Groom was a truck driver (long and short haul) so he and the bride didn’t spend a ton of time together over their relationship so I guess she didn’t know he was like that. The actual assault happened behind closed doors and was kept pretty hush hush until the next morning to save face.
I don’t know enough about marriage law to comment on the legality of their marriage but I was told she would be filling for an annulment so that’s what I wrote.
This all happened about 10 years ago and I’m no longe in contact with the bride but last I heard she was doing better and had moved on. The groom had racked up several thousands of dollars in debt in the brides name during the relationship that wasn’t discovered unTIL things started falling apart. I think he’s in jail now.
Featherking 2 years ago (edited)
It’s where people who do that where I live end up. Beating kids - no matter if you call it something cutesey wutesey like “spanking” - is illegal here. Completely. All across the board. Since 1979. (Sounds late, I know; and yet we were the first. In the world. It’s crazy.)
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Con O Cuinn 2 years ago
Not the same everywhere, but generally an annulment can be granted if there was coercion, abuse, fraud and/or the marriage was never consummated
Richard Willis 2 years ago
In the UK, at least, if the couple haven't consummated the marriage, even if they have previously been intimate, you can get the marriage annulled on the grounds of non-consumation.
Darwin87 2 years ago
So strange and archaic. Kind of funny that that is still grounds for an annulment. "Did you guys f**k? No? Good. This should be easy then..." Really funny actually. I say annulments on the basis of f*****g/non-f*****g should be standard cause it's funny.
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Charles Williams 2 years ago
No matter how you look at it, this was on her. Either she knew how he was and married him anyway or, she didn't spend much time with him because he was a truck driver so she didn't know much about him, and she married him anyway. Either way you look at it, she shouldn't have married him. We need to stop with not holding women accountable for their actions. Should he be hitting people? No. Should she have married him at all? No. You're holding him accountable by calling out his bad actions but not holding her accountable by calling out her bad actions.
marianne eliza 2 years ago
For my 2nd marriage, I put the signed license through the shredder instead of mailing it in to the county. Became like it never happened. No legal records to prove it did.
You’ve heard it a million times, but it bears repeating: what’s meant to be will always be. Every relationship goes through its struggles, but is it really worth mending something that cannot be repaired?
Bored Panda hopes that you’ve enjoyed the list and the commentary provided by our experts. Let us know which story stuck out to you the most!
#10
My story is closely related, even if we weren't officially married.
I was planning a wedding with my ex-fiance. I did most of the planning. I work as a nurse, and my father was dying of cancer on the other side of the USA. Between work, PTO taken to care for him, I wasnt in the house much for a few months as my dad had taken a turn for the worst. Found out that she had been f*****g her ex boyfriend both when I was working night shift and when I was in Cali caring for my dying dad. Broke it off 2 months before the wedding and lost a lot of money in the process. I still can't believe that evil witch cheated on me while my dad was dying.
JM 2 years ago
I can’t believe it either, especially given the circumstances. Maybe OP dodged a bullet, though.
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
Yeah, that’s lowbrow. Cheating is bad. Cheating on a pregnant wife is worse. Cheating with SO’s best friend is worse. Cheating while your partner is going through some horrible, life-changing event like the loss of a parent is even worse. What kind of soulless AH does that??
Kyla Eisler 2 years ago
Happened to my uncle when my grandma was dying. Wife slept with a mutual friend because uncle wasn't around to provide attention. And then two years later, that guy she cheated with started sleeping with her 16-year-old daughter. It was considered legal in the state they were in but uncle was more than willing to drive over with a loaded gun when he found out.
Dana Dickinson Scott 2 years ago
He would’ve lost a lot more if he went through with the wedding.
Thot Waffle 2 years ago
Through anecdotal evidence it seems not uncommon for people to cheat while their partner either has major health issues or is caregiving for someone with major health issues.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
I'm guessing it's something to do with having a narcissistic personality. They're not getting enough attention so feel justified getting attention elsewhere.
Load More Replies... #11
The guy I married went instantly from being fun and adventurous to an absolute psycho. He stopped using my name and would just call me wife even after I asked him to stop. He started insisting that I didn't need other friends and " aren't you done with that" when I would want to meet up with people. If I hung out with a guy then I was cheating in his mind. I caught him going through my phone to find "proof" there was none. There were two incidents that lead to the bitter end. And then at a concert he FREAKED OUT and had to be dragged off of me because I talked to an old male acquaintance for five minutes. That one left bruises, and I left him. F******d.
Uncle Jessie 2 years ago
My XW was also super jealous and suspicious like that. It really wore me down.
Rissi 2 years ago
Not sure why you're getting down voted. Take an upvote to counteract!
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#12
Not my story, but a fraternity brother of my husband had a marriage that lasted maybe 100 days before they split. Apparently she didn't internalize that marrying a military person would mean moving around, and he just assumed she knew and was good with it.
guyx23 2 years ago
They're both idiots. Who marries someone without discussing future plans for their shared lives in reasonable detail? This isn't something you just "assume" the other person understands
Bonesko 2 years ago
True. That's something that needs to be discussed. Honestly, I'm not sure if I could handle being the spouse of someone in the military, and that's OK. Then again, I'd think I'd already have a vague idea, but whatever.
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Chrissyfox 2 years ago
My son joined the Navy after a bad breakup. Thirteen weeks after basic training we as a family attended his passing out parade. Enter old flame (and her 8 year old daughter) who suddenly is madly in love with him again. Following a brief engagement the get married. Super happy wedding and everyone is delighted. Then she suffers two miscarriages. My son ships off to America for three months. On his return his marriage is on the rocks. She couldn't cope. Our son is beyond devastated. What got me was SHE KNEW he was in the navy and still she married him. Lasted less than seven months. Post script: He is now in a relationship with a lovey girl and they have two great kids of 16 and 11. So happy ending.
#13
Not myself but my oldest sister. She has been married 5 times. The first one was at 19, they divorced because they were young and not ready to be married. The second marriage she wasn't sure if she wanted to be married and despite my mom advising her to walk away, got married anyway. He cheated, she left. 3rd Marriage lasted 10 years, but they fought a lot (he was a Dr, she's a nurse, 2 intelligent people who couldn't talk to each other about their problems). The 4th Husband was my favourite, he was kind hearted, and the most loving and supportive spouse you could ever hope for. I think she got bored and met someone while she was on a work trip and met another Dr. She sent us an email saying that her and 4th spouse were starting to feel like they were just "friends" and she was moving to New Zealand to start a new life (she wasn't fooling us, we knew there was a new dude). About 6 months later she announced she had a new boyfriend and a year after that we saw that they had been married.
The kicker in all of this is, during my wedding, my very sweet English grandmother said to her "Oh, i do hope that your marriage to (4th) works out". She got upset by this, but I dont blame my grandma for pointing out her revolving door of husbands.
I wish I could invite 4th Husband back into our family, we really miss him and his family.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
Honestly, I think I would give up after 2. Wedding planning is exhausting and I'm not a teenager. I can live in sin and be ok with it. Unless of course, she is having an affair with the divorce attorney and needs a reason to see him.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
Why would it be "living in sin" to not get married? THAT notion seems like a good way to force people into GETTING married when they shouldn't.
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Jesus Ortiz 2 years ago
Reminds me of a cousin in my wife's extended family. He was a ripe bastard, he just became an abusive tyrant, seemingly out of nowhere. So his wife divorced him. The family essentially disowned him, and took her in. She comes to all family events, and even to the funeral of my wife's grandfather back in Dec 2022. We love her.
#14
I supported us working full time with a one hour commute (each way) via vanpool. She complained about having to pick me up at the vanpool stop after work because, “it was happy hour” at the bars. She also seemed to have trouble keeping other guys’ d***s out of her p***y.
Bonesko 2 years ago
Yeah. But I do love the way they worded that. 'She had trouble keeping other guys d**ks out of her p***y' 😳
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Will Cable 2 years ago
Forget vanpool, she was doing an impersonation of public transport by letting so many ride her.
Connie Martin 2 years ago
We had two cars but gas was expensive (or we thought so at the time -- this was the late '70s) so he told me I couldn't drive to my retail job and had to take the bus. Almost an hour one way for a distance that would have taken me 20 minutes to drive. When I had to work late I'd get off the bus at 10 p.m. downtown but he'd complain about having to pick me up to drive me the 3 miles home. I was young (23) and STUPID WITH A CAPITAL STUPID. We did marry eventually but divorced after 15 years.
#15
We got married by mail, a double proxy, only available from one US state. We’re both military. I actually knew before we got our marriage certificate that it wasn’t working, because he became insanely controlling after we moved to Germany together. He would scream at me when I’d ask him to go on road trips on the weekends to see the adorable little German towns. He would scream at me in front of all of his friends (my friends were never invited over), he did not allow me to have access to my own money, which went into our joint account. And when I would buy something I felt I needed on Amazon, he’d scream at me (this would usually be soaps, I have very sensitive skin and can’t use the shampoo/body wash combos that are made for men). He would scream at me over the littlest things like how I folded our towels after they dried. The final straw was when we went on our “honeymoon” to Greece. He brought two guy friends along. He refused to have s*x with me, and even told me he really didn’t want to have s*x at all anymore, and then he publicly humiliated me by screaming at me in a very public venue around a lot of strangers. He of course was cool to his friends and they went swimming, I sat in a beach chair and cried. I just knew it. We made it about 4 months before I moved out.
Susie Elle 2 years ago
His friends are a******s too for not speaking up. If I had a friend who treated their partner like this, they wouldn't be my friend anymore.
patricia patricia 2 years ago
Perhaps the friends have similar behaviour and think it's normal. Birds of a feather...
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starsailor (they/he) 2 years ago
double proxy marriage is where neither part of the marriage can attend so both are represented by a proxy
Teresa Yeates 2 years ago
Sounds like you married a don't ask don't tell so he could appear 'right'. Just never told you.
LangiStudios 2 years ago
I had no idea that proxy marriages were still available and legal. I first learned about them from period pieces and Euro history (all those royal marriages via representative).
patricia patricia 2 years ago
One if my mom's cousins married this way, because he had emigrated and the bride wasn't allowed to leave their homeland unless she was married. That was in the 1950s for the rest of the world, but Spain was still in the Middle Ages.
Load More Replies... ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
that is some super hero courage .. .proxy marriage ... I'm not sure I could do that.
Nancy Austin 1 month ago (edited)
Your first mistake was "allowing him tell you" that you did not have access to your own money. I would have agreed, then been at the bank when it opened to pull my money out and reopen in another bank. My next move would have been out that night or the next day and I would have converted any credit cards of his/mine into solo accounts that he could not access and I would have cancelled every credit card that had my name on it right after I got new ones. It would have been a busy day at the bank for me. Never let a man tell you "how it's going to be" because that leaves you vulnerable to a bad man. You need to agree on this before you get married and if you cannot then your finances stay separate.
#16
Not me but a family member:
She was married after a quick relationship. His family had money, and I think she wanted a nice life. A few months later, she was in a horrific car crash which took her 9-year-old sister’s life, their grandmother, and left her with severe injuries - shattered 3/4 of her face, and she may have broken a hip, and her back too if memory serves. She was in a medically induced coma when her sister’s funeral occurred.
Less than a month or two after she gets out of the hospital, her husband (married about 6 months at this point), says to her, “You need to get over the accident.”
Edit: I should mention that the “money” her husband’s family had was small town money. Thousands, not millions.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
You need to get over me ... hitting you over the head ... with a chair. Don't tell me what to get over you jerk!
James McLeod 2 years ago
Yeah, well, I might be over the accident - I am not, however, over the loss of 2 of my family members and I'm still suffering physically from the injuries I sustained during the accident. I think I might also be over you, you inconsiderate prick.
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
The second he told her to “get over” an accident that took the lives of two people she loved, put her into a coma, and left her with months or more of physical therapy and who knows what else to recover, I hope she kicked him to the curb. That marriage was over. A few thousand dollars, and he’s too entitled to even be allowed to sleep on the couch.
Charles Williams 2 years ago
Wait, again, not holding the woman accountable for her actions. She married him for his money (small town money but more money than she had) but when it turns out that he's a prick, she acts surprised. She no better than he is. She married him for his money, not because she loved him. He may be a piece of c**p but at least he loved her. He married her for her, she married him for his money.
Dana Dickinson Scott 2 years ago
“You need to get over the accident.” What a charming dip s**t.
Eric Smith 2 years ago
Unless he followed up with and it's going to take time a long time I know and you may never actually get over it but I just want you to know I'm there for you no matter what.
Featherking 2 years ago
Oh dear. The strange thing is that he must have been adult and normally gifted - I mean how else did they get married? What a freak. I’d have dropped him like a hot stone; BAM! Straight in the concrete, αss first.
#17
Mine lasted two years(I know over the year limit for the post). The last 6 months of the marriage I deployed to Iraq. I was a happier person while being deployed than I was living at home. That's when I realized I had a toxic home life. I was sacrificing my own happiness to do everything I could to keep my ex happy and just thought thats how its supposed to be. I didn't want to come home from deployment because I knew I would be miserable. I moved out a month after I got back and life has been much better since. Currently in Afghanistan and cannot wait to get home!
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
I think as people, it's easier to be at work or busy instead of dealing with an unpleasant situation. We just hope it gets better or they make the decision for us .. Unfortunately, it always come back. Welcome home!
Cyndi Hafele 2 years ago
Lol. Living in a war zone is better than being home with the wifey.
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Easily Excitable Panda 2 years ago
When you're happier in a war zone than at home... yeah, definitely time to get out.
AnonymousApple 2 years ago
Best part of my first marriage was when my ex was deployed. Things unraveled fast after he got back, though obviously they hadn't been good before.
Magpie 2 years ago
Same. My life was fun, happy, and peaceful when he was deployed, even though I had to toddlers. I hated when he was home because the house was just uncomfortable. Took me a couple of years to get myself into a place where I could leave. Skipped out of there with the kids and never regretted it.
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Tommy DePaul 5 months ago
I knew a guy who continued to re-up and get sent to Afghanistan rather than live with his wife and children. All the time she's having phone s*x with a HS classmate. They're Catholic and don't believe in divorce. When the 2 children go to college, she divorced him, takes 1/2 his Army pension, and marries a different classmate. Phone s*x continues.
Featherking 2 years ago
Completely unrelated, but what on earth does the guy in the picture have on his helmet? Rear view mirrors? Is he unsure about his capacity to navigate backwards?
#18
Not me but my ex-gf a few years ago. Before we met she was dating a guy for about 7 years or so. Due to family pressures, tradition, etc she went and got married to the guy....they went home in separate cars because she said they both realized it was a mistake. Lived with her cousins for 6 months because she was scared to tell her parents.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
why does pressure ... for anyone to get married ... solve any kind of problem?
Bonesko 2 years ago
I'd think that would be a thing of the past. Who cares if you're not married by 30?! Are you supposed to settle?!
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#19
He casually invited his parents along on our honeymoon, and told them we’d pay for it. AND they not only accepted, they were SO EXCITED and immediately wanted to take over planning it. Obviously that wasn’t the only s****y thing he did. Eventually found out he was cheating on me and I fast tracked divorce before there were any kids or assets involved.
Bonesko 2 years ago
Nothing screams romance more than having your parents on your honeymoon while you're trying to get your weird on. 🙄. That's weird for so many reasons!
Christine Watson 2 years ago
Ummmm, you have a say. Why did you let him continue with the parent honeymoon plan?! Put your foot down girl.
#20
Mine lasted less than a year, he was an incredibly abusive f******d that burdened me with tons of s**t we couldn't afford then refused to work his damn self. So I used to pull 16 hr days back to back to back. Turns out instead of working and helping me take care of the house he was out cheating. In all reality, he was the one who left me but once I got out of the situation I realized how awful it was and didn't go back.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
I'm so very sorry. You should be very proud of yourself for getting out of that situation. You will find the right person.
Pandroid Rebellion 2 years ago
Or she won't. Normalize just being happy without a relationship defining us. Best wishes.
Load More Replies... Charles Williams 2 years ago
Why would you marry a man that's not working, and apparently has no income, them get mad that he's not working? Did she assume that he'd start working after they got married? Why is no one holding these women accountable for their actions? She married someone that didn't have a job and then acts surprised that he doesn't have a job.
Tori K 4 months ago
You’d be surprised… My Ex husband said he had a job and right before we got married he was ‘fired’ I was the sole breadwinner and if I didn’t pay bills before he woke up he’d spend every cent on alcohol. He also cheated and accused me of it even though I was working a s**t ton of overtime. Started asking for a separation after 3 months.. finally got that separation after he decided to put his hands on me again.
Load More Replies... #21
When i found out on my sons 1st birthday that she cheated again.
Allen Packard 2 years ago
Again? Nope. Should've bounced. Kids or not. DNA test I hope as well.
Bonesko 2 years ago
After a year though, regardless of the results, that kid is theirs. I'm not sure I'd want to know at that point.
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Anya 2 years ago
ahm... how does someone have time to cheat, again, while looking after a baby?... I barely have the energy to shower. What is she on?
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
You're assuming that she looked after the baby. That may not have been the case.
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Phoebe Bean 2 years ago
Sad story featuring the cutest pic. Teddy bear, bunny and friends having a blast at that party!
#22
Wasn't my marriage, but I am involved in the story.
Basically, my ex-girlfriend's boss left his wife ON THEIR HONEYMOON, because she and him were having an affair.
They had the wedding and flew off to Bali, but he was sneaking off into the bathroom to send my then girlfriend d**k pics from his honeymoon. I saw one of the pictures and confronted her. She admitted to it and messaged him back to tell him that I had found out. My understanding is that he basically came out of the bathroom, told his wife "I think this was a mistake. We shouldn't have gotten married', got on a plane and flew home. Left her there on her own. On her f*****g honeymoon. With no explanation.
In the end, I had to be the one to go over to her place and tell her what had really happened because he wouldn't own up to it.
So I think the marriage lasted all of about 3 days.
EDIT:
This all happend like 10 years ago. She was my first girlfriend from highschool and we had been together for 10 years (so I was 24 at the time). I'm actually fine about it now because we were unhappy and it really wasn't meant to be, and I'm happily married.
The husband and my ex were having a full blown affair and had been sleeping together for several months before the wedding.
It wasn't just d**k pics being sent. He was also sending her just generally sexual and lovey-dovey messages about how much he missed her and how much he wished it was her there with him instead of his wife. However, the message which I happened to see, which blew the whole thing wide open, did include a d**k pic, as well as a sexual picture she had sent him in return.
He walked out on his new wife because he knew he had been busted, but didn't tell her why. So she was sat around thinking she had done something wrong.
A couple of weeks later my friend called me with a message. You see, I had told him what happened and he had told someone, who had told someone who actually ended up knowing her and had told her. This is how she learned the truth. Then, through that same chain of people she got the message back to me requesting that I call her so we could talk (along with her number). I had actually met her a couple of times before through my ex and her work but I barely knew her.
So, I called her. She invited me over and we had a long talk. I told her everything I knew from my side. She hadn't learned any of this until she had heard it through that friend so it was pretty rough.
I moved on quickly, but they had a really rough and messy divorce (Australian law says you must first try a one year separation before you can divorce).
However, I did run into her a few years ago and she was remarried and seemed very happy.
As for the two offending parties. They did start dating publicly, which I think caused a lot of dramas and friction in their personal lives. Hugely so at their work with the other employees, as you can imagine. I heard they broke up after a few years together.
My ex was invited to the wedding, but I wasn't (she said it was because they were trying to do it on a budget).
I found out later that at the wedding she got really drunk and upset (obviously because her new-found fella was marrying someone else) and sort of started causing a scene. It was apparently bad enough that the best man had to get her in the back of his car and leave the wedding early to take her home as it looked like she was about to spill the beans in front of everyone.
Crouching hippo hidden panda 2 years ago
I can’t make sense of the last two paragraphs… whose wedding?
Stephanie Chubbuck 2 years ago
Op cleary lost track of their storyline and completely.blew it at the end with a bunch of contradictions. So lame
Christine Watson 2 years ago
Wow the groom sounds like a real piece of s**t human. Who does that to someone?
$ergi0 2 years ago
So did he and the ex-wife had revenge sex or not? Why al those unneeded details?
Magpie 2 years ago
Because people on Reddit asked him questions, which he answered, and BP just pasted the whole thing here even though they could have edited out the extra details.
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#23
Happened to my friends- husband suggests an open marriage, girl for some reason agrees. Fast forward 3 months into being married...he gets jealous cuz they find a hot guy and the girl likes the guy better then her husband. They lasted 6 months.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
When does an open marriage work? I don't understand the reasoning .. unless it's health care benefits ...
ginny weasley 2 years ago
I've known people it's worked for. A friend of mine who just passed a way had a wife and a girlfriend for 20 years. They knew each other, lived separately but the wife had visited the girlfriend's country and they planned the funeral together. It was unconventional but worked, likely because everyone knew what was going on
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Enlee Jones 2 years ago
I see a lot of posts about husbands pressuring their wives for open relationships then regretting it when the wives are getting laid daily while they can’t get another woman to glance in their general direction.
sabbatha 2 years ago
i think in most of the cases it's opening relationship to another woman, not man. I don't think I've heard ever about the opening in opposite direction, so yeah. Like in many other life cases, all goes in advantage of man desires...
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barn owls ️ 2 years ago
so as a polyamorous person i feel a need to clarify here. not all poly relationships or open relationships are like this. healthy poly relationships would talk about jealousy and what to do about it. this was not a healthy poly relationship!
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
Open marriages CAN work but everyone must be on equal ground, fully communicative, and go about it in a healthy manner. Unfortunately, there's always one person who gets greedy, only wants it to benefit themselves and not the others involved, or lies for their advantage. In a lot of cases, one of the spouses aren't entirely into it and one just goes along with it because they're afraid the other might do it anyway whether they agree or not.
Brent Echols 2 years ago
Right?! How can this ever work if everyone involved isn't independently wealthy? Coercion
Load More Replies... Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
Girl? He’s “husband,” she’s “girl”? What kind of sexist story is this? Also, if the husband is married to an actual girl, they’ve got bigger problems than an open marriage. Legal ones.
Kyla Eisler 2 years ago
Open marriage/open relationships can and have worked. It's about setting trust and boundaries and knowing your partner well. If a man says they want an open and then get jealous that the wife is also getting action, his intentions were selfish and distrusting, and without question the relationship fails.
Audrey Malone 2 years ago
Seems like the wife always finds someone better when the hubby suggests an open marriage.
#24
Right during the wedding ceremony I've been sent a private homemade video of my bride with another man
Bonesko 2 years ago
Not so sure. Yeah, better before the vows but even better before everyone got dressed up. Hope they're better off now
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Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Guess it depends how you define the ceremony. Maybe if the guy is stand at the altar waiting I could see him checking it. Heck, maybe they consider it just being at the church getting ready. I do wonder about the video though, as in who sent it and why?
Load More Replies... ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
I guess better late than never. Hopefully, you and your friends got to go on a honeymoon.
#25
First one, she left me for a guy she met in her furry group. Second claimed to be poly, moved her bf in while I was living there, cut all intimacy with me, mentally abused me and kicked me out when she overheard me talking about the possibility of divorce.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
thinking out loud ... if your significant other is in a "furry group" and you are not ... there could be a problem in the future (using my best Dr. Phil voice).
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
Most furries DON'T become furries for the sexual aspects. Not all furry groups are "yiff" groups. It's no more or less than being in a board game group. Cheaters will cheat, regardless of whether they're furries or not.
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Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
Oh yeah, because "furry" automatically means you're a terrible person and are going to cheat, right? Because no one who ISN'T a furry cheats, right? /s
Load More Replies... #26
My brother experienced this.
He had a cop wedding, on the beach - in flip flops - everyone drunk as s**t. And part of the 'joke' of the wedding was that when the officiant asked if anyone had any objections, *everyone* had an objection. They yelled drunken terrible s**t at the two of them for a good two or three minutes before he yelled something back like, "F**k it and f**k all of you, I'm marrying this woman regardless".
It was crazy cringe to witness, but he told me after, "You know, I had half a mind to call it off right then as I listened to what they were saying and realized everyone was probably right."
Landithy 2 years ago
Stuff like this makes me understand why the celebrant at my wedding (in Australia) went to great pains to point out that he wouldn't marry us if either one showed up to the ceremony drunk.
brandyy17 2 years ago
usually wen the cops the bride or groom work with r all invited and do salutes, cop themed wedding photos etc. its common among the younger generation of cops. u can plan jokes and party hard more easily since its all planned ahead of time.
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Ken Beattie 2 years ago
I think the whole *everyone* objecting thing could be fun if both the bride and groom are in on it. But at the same time, if they're in on it what's the point. It'd be kinda like a joke where you already know the punchline.
#27
My male cousin went to a very conservative Church of Christ university where the women who attend there are infamous for trying to get their MRS degree. The girl he was dating was no different. They got married 6 months after they graduated with a HUGE southern wedding: 10 bridesmaids, 250 guests, at least 7 different wedding showers, a band and open bar AT THE REHEARSAL DINNER, etc. They get married and are divorced 4 months later because she was cheating on him the entirety of their relationship. They [made love] once on their honeymoon and less than 3 times after that.
Some people want a wedding and not a marriage. Of course that b***h kept ALL the wedding gifts they received, even the ones from his family.
Bonesko 2 years ago
OK, so there are a few things here. But WTF us a 'Mrs class'? Sounds like something In going to hate
Katie Ford 2 years ago (edited)
Oh it is something you'll hate (or at least I do), but basically "MRS degree" is a tongue-in-cheek way of saying getting married, like "Mrs. [insert last name here]". E.g. "You can go to college and get a BA, a BS, a PhD, an MRS..." Edit to add: this is incredibly sexist, obviously :(
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Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
Not again. She is NOT a girl. She graduated from college & was getting married. She was clearly in her 20s. NOT A GIRL. She’s a woman. FFS.
David Shaw 2 years ago
Oh, I don't know. Sounds as though she was mentally still fairly immature. It takes more than age and puberty to make the transition from being a child to being an adult
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sari swick 1 year ago
There just had to be some red flags somewhere along the line. This is ridiculous.
Bird's My Bird 2 years ago
For the love of everything, please don't say "MRS" degree ever again
#28
We married legally when we found out I was pregnant(after trying for 3 years). The plan was to marry at the court house then get some tests done to see why I wasn’t getting pregnant. Well it happened backwards. By the time I gave birth we were already married legally but not in front of a priest and we planned to have our wedding and to baptize our son. So a 2 in 1 ceremony and when our son was 5 months old I went to our home country to prepare everything that needed to be prepared for the big event and my husband stayed in the country where we were living and working. This was roughly 3 weeks before the event. The time I spent away from my husband felt like a breath of fresh air. Like I was spending my days underwater and I was finally free to just breathe. I reverted to my old happy self. Smiling and joking all day long with family and friends. I realized it but I decided to go on with the wedding as we already had a kid and I really thought after everything my husband will be les manipulative and less controlling and he would realize what truly matters. But no. He came home 1 week before the wedding and we fought and I cried almost daily. The wedding did happen and everything was somehow perfect and 2 days after the wedding we got into a huge fight about some missing money(in my country the bride and the groom receive money from everyone invited to the wedding), and he ended up leaving me and our son. We divorced 4 months later. I realized a lot of stuff being away from him but I lied to myself that he would care about me and our son but he only ever cared about himself.
Andrei Caldararu 2 years ago
There's a very downvoted comment on this post that reads like it's been written by a defective a.i.
PinkPeppered Squid 2 years ago
I think this is written by someone where English is their second language.
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#29
I had some friends that got married and divorced within a year. It turns out she had major doubts but went through with it anyway, then cried for the whole honeymoon and told him she had made a huge mistake. They posted all these normal pictures of them looking happy in Hawaii, but it came out later what a miserable nightmare the trip was.
Ash 2 years ago
My aunt said to my grandma on the morning of the wedding, "Why am I doing this? Should I be doing this?" Grandma encouraged her to call it off if she had doubts, but my aunt went through with it. They're divorced now, but the guy was emotionally abusive and has really messed up their kid psychologically. If you're having serious doubts on your wedding day: DON'T GO THROUGH WITH IT. Yes, it's embarrassing and a lot of money down the drain, but it's better than the agony and money down the drain of a divorce a couple years down the road.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
While you're absolutely right about the serious doubts, I really think that examination of the relationship should happen before it even gets to the wedding day. I'd think if you had *any* concerns you should be talking them over with a trusted friend or family member (for the outside perspective) way before that. And of course talking with your partner too.
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LangiStudios 2 years ago
To paraphrase Cher from "Clueless", "I'm picky about my shoes and they only go on my feet." I'd have to be triple sure before I think of marrying anyone, and these stories so far are big reasons why.
Amberlie Mikelsen 2 years ago (edited)
If the doubts are the morning of, or worse in the prep room, your best bet for not losing out on the money is call it off but still use all of the venues, vendors, whatnot to have the absolute BEST "bullet dodging party" any of the attendees has ever seen. (That way you're still getting the party everyone paid for, even if the reason is different.) Even if you both decide later that it was simply the timing that was wrong, going in or getting out with a clear conscience is really important.
#30
Sitting across from the court house waiting to go in. I thought “you are going to look back on this moment and remember that you KNEW it was the wrong thing to do”.
I certainly did. We only got married because I was living with him and my whole family wouldn’t speak to us as we were “living in sin”.
Well we showed them. 😳😳😳
Bonesko 2 years ago
Oh, I'm sorry and I hope you're better off now. My boyfriends mother is extremely conservative and religious and would harp on us for 'living in sin'. Respectfully lady, your son was a nasty b***before we met, so I didn't do anything there.
Skimommy 2 years ago
That nasty old b is loving in sin herself, Jesus says not to judge others. Is she a fat glutton or a lazy sloth? Does she lie? Get angry at people (murder). Maybe she should take the plank out of her own eye before b1tching about the speck in yours.
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Michael Largey 2 years ago
Conservative religious people tell us "People who lived together before they got married have a divorce rate of 70%." Which really means - "If you're living together and are happy, don't screw it up by getting married."
Charles Williams 2 years ago
Finally, someone holds the woman accountable for her actions. That is a good question. He may be a bad person but why is she loving with him and going so far as to marry him if he's so bad? This is on her. She shouldn't have even been living with him. Obviously, he gave he something that she wanted (money, status) so she was willing to deal with his bad ways but not as a wife.
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Richard Anderson 2 years ago
A good fried of mine got married in Nashville and they were driving to Mexico for their honeymoon. The air conditioning went out in Texas, he refused to get it fixed. They pulled over for dinner and she got a taxi to the airport. Filed for divorce and never set eyes on him again.
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
Was this in 1959? What kind of a family stops speaking to one of their family members because they are “living in sin” with their SO?? Who even calls it “living in sin” anymore? I find this story wildly implausible.
Niamh Gallagher Kerr 2 years ago (edited)
Good Irish Catholic girl here I lived in sin and my family didn't speak to me for 6 months when I moved in with my now husband. I was 21 and he was 31. What they didn't realise is that we'd been living together for 6 months. 18 years later we're still happily married and my parents do speak to me 🤣🤣 Unfortunately the story is not implausible.
Load More Replies... #31
My ex was manipulative and found every excuse not to meet my friends or limit my time away from my family. Long story short, we ran into one of good friends into the mall and they seemed to hit it off really well. I was happy because I was like, yes, I could finally have a double date, because that’s what my friend suggested. But when we got home, she mentioned that she didn’t like his job. Even though he was one of the nicest and funniest guys in the world, that was it. I saw that she just purposely kept me away from *everyone*! And that made me angry
She ended up cheating on me with some guy out of the country and we got divorced months later because nobody took anything from each other.
#32
One week after being married, exactly 7 seven days. I heard him in the bathroom with the shower on, but he was talking on the phone. As if the shower was loud enough so that I couldn't hear him. Anyway, i grabed the phone and ran... I mean RAN out the back door to the other side of the pool, so no matter which way he came towards me, I would move the opposite direction. No surprise it was a girl, she told me he never mentioned he had a wife or was seeing anyone. They apparently had been dating for months. He told me a bs story of how he kept trying to end it with her but SHE was possessive and wouldn't leave him alone and kept calling. I was 19 and stupid so I stayed with him, but I knew at that moment I had made a mistake in marrying him. Thank GOD we didn't have children. But, we stayed together for 4 years and I endured more than any woman ever should. 15 years later, he's now in prison, no surprise.
Crouching hippo hidden panda 2 years ago
Or marry a repeat offender cheater and then be shocked that they continue to cheat
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#33
Not me, but my brother. He got his first serious girlfriend during his senior year of college. He was doing a lot of different stuff with her and told me that he was really happy. I told him that I thought that was great, but that he needed to remember to take things slow. A week later he bought a ring.
Everyone in my family attempted to talk him out of it. Everyone. But I knew my brother was going to do whatever he wanted, so I just said "Sure." They rented a house, bought furniture, moved in, got married, and after a month, they got divorced. I think it was soon enough to get an annulment, but I'm not sure.
Main thing was that my brother wanted to move out of our hometown when he was finished with college. His wife was completely fine never leaving (I don't even think she was going to school, she would just sit at home all day). So, that was that.
Good times.
crowspectre (he/they) 2 years ago
This stuff is insane you should wait like at least a year or two to get married
Bonesko 2 years ago
I've been with my boyfriend for 11 years, and even though I knew I loved him pretty quickly, you still need a minute to make sure you're compatibile.
Load More Replies... Nancy Austin 1 month ago
I married by spouse at 19, After knowing him about six weeks, we agree we were good together-it was easy and fun. He was 22. Met him in Sept. and married him in November. The only reason we waited that long was that I was going to the Police Academy for the next six weeks. So I graduated from the Academy on November 16th and married him on the 18th. Yesterday was our 46th wedding anniversary and nothing we say to each other can't be conveyed with a knowing look. He just has to be "the one you cannot live without" and not the "one you can live with".
#34
When I came home from the honeymoon and there was a Foreclosure notice posted on the house door. His response: "Now it's your problem too."
#35
His brother asked to move in with us and I said no (brother ended up moving in anyway) and during subsequent argument he said “no wonder people get divorced all the time”. We had been married for about 6 months at that point. Went very downhill from there.
brandyy17 2 years ago
theres more to the story here. i only say this bc my in laws built a basment apartment for me and my husband in their house. not even a year into being married the basement flooded and we had to move into his old bedroom upstairs while everything we owned was moved and packed into the guest bedroom. fast forward to apartment is redone in time for our 1st anniversary. 2 months later my brother in law moves in and begins living in my husbands old bedroom. he came down all to our apartment all the time, he ate with us bc my in laws were doing a plan, etc. me and my husband never got the honeymoon phase of the marriage bc of the flood and my brother in law moving in yet we r still going strong. this october will b 3 years. it may not feel like we r married completely bc of everything going on but wen his brother moves out and we can go back to just us again i think ill miss having his brother around. my brother in law always talks about the most interesting things and is a gamer like us so we get along really well. me and my husband also never got a honeymoon bc of covid but it didnt bother us we r stay at home and chill playing video game ppl anyways. our honeymoon was basically 4 days at a hotel after the wedding in a very nice town in the state we live in. if we werent walking around to get food or candy and stuff we were in our room watching anime. thats y im saying there is more to the story. having ur brother move in with u shouldnt b a reason for things to go downhill. me and my husband were upset we never really got the pure alone time we wanted and adult time is hard bc my brother in law is in the room right above us so we cant have the level of fun we want during that time. i also need to stay slightly quiet. we also gained some weight from eating out all the time bc i dont really have enough food to make a meal for 3. only meals for 2. even with all of that not only do me and my husband still act like wen we were dating but wed also miss his brother wen he gets his own place. there has to b something already going on. a simple comment from the OP's brother in law shouldnt have made thing go downhill that badly.
#36
I attended a wedding a few years ago that wasn’t over the top extravagant, but is what I want if I could ever save up enough money - beautiful venue, open bar with local beers, great food, and tastefully decorated. A couple months after, we heard through our friends that it came out that he’d been cheating with one of the bridesmaids in the year or two leading up to the wedding. And that he had this concept that nothing he did had repercussions or harmed anyone (the bad kind of philosophy major) so he didn’t see the big deal
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
I'm wondering why the friends told now ... after so many years. He must have been doing something immoral.
#37
My ex was with a woman for five years, and married for 2-3 months. She had cheated on him and got caught before the wedding but they somehow managed to work it out. She had also pressured him into marriage by giving him money and saying "if you don't come back with a ring, it's over." So two to three months into the marriage, he had noticed that she was acting shady again. Excusing herself to the bedroom randomly with her iPad, and going to her girlfriend's house (she's straight) at any given hour to have sleepovers and hangout. One day she left to her girlfriend's as usual, and he found she had left her iPad this time which she usually keeps close guarded. He found exchanges between her and at least three different men, one message from her to the man that bags their groceries saying that she was pregnant. My ex cannot have children. The other two men she had cheated with was a coworker and the security guard at the local mall.
#38
I found out that I was pregnant, and he stopped talking to me for several days. He then pressured me into having an abortion, then we divorced.
#39
Not the person married, but the BIL of the groom / brother of the bride. Lasted less than a year married (several dating). He treated my sister like sun-baked horses**t, and while honestly she *is* a pile of sun-baked horses**t, you shouldn't treat your damn wife like it. Nearly got the cops called on him several times while they were together, and they ended up breaking it off because my sister finally got fed up with his s**t. For those interested in how they're doing: Last I heard the dumbf**k she called a husband got a job but nothing else, and my sister went through another marriage that lasted less than a year because they got married almost as soon as they started dating, which ended well (full sarcasm; she cheated on him "at least twelve times" according to her estimation). She also apparently has goo-goo eyes for someone who went to jail for aggravated assault and is going back to jail.. also for aggravated assault. She's well aware that her attraction to s**t men exists (she admits it herself that she wants an abusive relationship despite it being, you know. abusive. and horrible), and nothing I've said helps. I've since cut contact with all parties due to some long-standing family b******t that's nearly as old as I am, but damn if her last two marriages weren't a giant mistake.
Nay Wilson 2 years ago
Your sister needs psychiatric help. Anyone who wants an abusive relationship is not right in the head
#40
Not me but I worked at a company where two employees were engaged. After they married she sent out an all users email advising her name change and then almost exactly a year later sent another one changing it back. Apparently right up to the wedding she was seeing someone else. It’s seems that both her and her fiancé knew it was mistake but it was one of those enormous weddings and her father was paying out a s**t load of money. They were even having dance lessons for when the bride and groom have the first dance, that kind of deal. The whole thing was like a supertanker that couldn’t be stopped so they had their day and split up soon after.
Anne Thomas 2 years ago
Can always stop these extravaganzas. Even if the cost in embarrassment seems high at the time, it's better than the cost in pain later.
#41
We got married just to get on an ep of Divorce Court but realized too late it would impact my friend’s access to food stamps.
Terry Tobias 2 years ago
They wanted to be on tv for the show 'Divorce Court' so they got married. However, receiving food stamps is dependent on your income and since they were married both of their incomes were used. The spouse lost them because they made too much money.
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SofiaB 2 years ago
My marriage lasted only 2 years. We'd only dated for 9 months (became engaged after 6 months). Everyone told me we were moving too fast, but unfortunately I didn't listen. He was so charming and caring while we were dating & engaged. I have a chronic illness and he seemed to genuinely care about me and said that he would "take care" of me (another red flag I didnt notice). When we got married (at the courthouse), it was like a switch flipped. He became extremely controlling and emotionally abusive. I could never do anything right and he had no sympathy for my illness. In fact, he accused me of faking my illness, saying it was just an excuse to be lazy. He controlled everything in my life...from who I could be with, money and what I could spend that money on, and even what I did and how I did it at home. At the same time, he was in an emotional relationship with another woman and sent her & her child thousands of dollars every month, whole I would get screamed at for simply buying a Starbucks coffee once in awhile. Towards the end of our marriage his abuse became escalated and he started throwing things at me, cornering me up against a wall and punching the wall next to my head. I clearly saw the signs that it was only a matter of time before he started physically abusing me. Finally, he went on a "business trip" and I found out that he was actually meeting the other lady. So I knew that eas my one chance to get away safely while he was with her. It was the worst 2 years of my life!
Doctor Strange 2 years ago
My best friend never actually got through the enagement to be married. But in college he got engaged to a girl. Problem is, she was actually dating me first. We broke up because she was cheating on me with another guy. (She told me this herself, as well as explicitly telling me how much better he was than me). She was cheating on that guy with with my best friend. Unsurprisingly, the engagement was broken off when he found out she was cheating on him. With yet another guy. That was my first girlfriend, and second worst relationship.
Alicia G 2 years ago (edited)
I had my doubts about our relationship but shortly after we got engaged I found out I was pregnant and thought I would be better off with him than as a single parent. Got married, had the baby and quickly realised I had two babies to look after, a newborn and a 30 year old. Thought his wants and needs should come before the baby's. Emotionally abusive. Lost his job and refused to look for another one until after the football World Cup was finished so he could watch all the games. Then he told me he had some regular casual work. The straw that broke the camels back was finding out the "casual work" was defrauding the government claiming an unemployment benefit as a single person. Dobbed him in and left with our baby.
Catherine Spencer-Mills 2 years ago
1. Married 9 months. Courthouse wedding, but no big deal. He had to have a pistol "for protection." He would get it out, load it in front of me, then point it at me, my infant son, himself, and then I would be sorry. When I found myself wishing he would just shoot himself, I knew I had to get us out of that. It may be a surprise, but I refuse to have a weapon in the house. 2. Marriage lasted 11 years. He was military and was on temporary duty overseas. Called and told me he was getting a divorce and having an affair. I was blindsided and devastated. I'm now glad he dumped me. 3. Married for 36 years and counting. Finally got it right and found the perfect man for me. Neither of us are willing to give up our old friend and partner.
Jenny 5 months ago (edited)
My marriage lasted 8 days from the wedding until I left his cheating áss. 4 days after the ceremony, he went out to celebrate NYE. I couldn't go because I was pregnant and suffering from a bit of nausea. He came home in the early hours of the next day with an entire necklace of lovebites/hickies (he hooked up with an ex), the idiot even tried to hide them from me by popping his collar 😂 I had to wait another 4 days before I could get enough money together to book into a bed and breakfast and get the héll away from the cheating scúmbag.
Ricarda Sams 2 years ago
Wow reading these I can finally appreciate my long term single life 😬✌️
marianne eliza 2 years ago (edited)
My brother married a B**** who actually said it was worth getting married just for the honeymoon her parents were paying for. Didn't last long. She required daily doses of drama and trauma so she had something different to regale everyone with. Every. Single. Day. And her drama and trauma had to be bigger than anyone else's.
SofiaB 2 years ago
My marriage lasted only 2 years. We'd only dated for 9 months (became engaged after 6 months). Everyone told me we were moving too fast, but unfortunately I didn't listen. He was so charming and caring while we were dating & engaged. I have a chronic illness and he seemed to genuinely care about me and said that he would "take care" of me (another red flag I didnt notice). When we got married (at the courthouse), it was like a switch flipped. He became extremely controlling and emotionally abusive. I could never do anything right and he had no sympathy for my illness. In fact, he accused me of faking my illness, saying it was just an excuse to be lazy. He controlled everything in my life...from who I could be with, money and what I could spend that money on, and even what I did and how I did it at home. At the same time, he was in an emotional relationship with another woman and sent her & her child thousands of dollars every month, whole I would get screamed at for simply buying a Starbucks coffee once in awhile. Towards the end of our marriage his abuse became escalated and he started throwing things at me, cornering me up against a wall and punching the wall next to my head. I clearly saw the signs that it was only a matter of time before he started physically abusing me. Finally, he went on a "business trip" and I found out that he was actually meeting the other lady. So I knew that eas my one chance to get away safely while he was with her. It was the worst 2 years of my life!
Doctor Strange 2 years ago
My best friend never actually got through the enagement to be married. But in college he got engaged to a girl. Problem is, she was actually dating me first. We broke up because she was cheating on me with another guy. (She told me this herself, as well as explicitly telling me how much better he was than me). She was cheating on that guy with with my best friend. Unsurprisingly, the engagement was broken off when he found out she was cheating on him. With yet another guy. That was my first girlfriend, and second worst relationship.
Alicia G 2 years ago (edited)
I had my doubts about our relationship but shortly after we got engaged I found out I was pregnant and thought I would be better off with him than as a single parent. Got married, had the baby and quickly realised I had two babies to look after, a newborn and a 30 year old. Thought his wants and needs should come before the baby's. Emotionally abusive. Lost his job and refused to look for another one until after the football World Cup was finished so he could watch all the games. Then he told me he had some regular casual work. The straw that broke the camels back was finding out the "casual work" was defrauding the government claiming an unemployment benefit as a single person. Dobbed him in and left with our baby.
Catherine Spencer-Mills 2 years ago
1. Married 9 months. Courthouse wedding, but no big deal. He had to have a pistol "for protection." He would get it out, load it in front of me, then point it at me, my infant son, himself, and then I would be sorry. When I found myself wishing he would just shoot himself, I knew I had to get us out of that. It may be a surprise, but I refuse to have a weapon in the house. 2. Marriage lasted 11 years. He was military and was on temporary duty overseas. Called and told me he was getting a divorce and having an affair. I was blindsided and devastated. I'm now glad he dumped me. 3. Married for 36 years and counting. Finally got it right and found the perfect man for me. Neither of us are willing to give up our old friend and partner.
Jenny 5 months ago (edited)
My marriage lasted 8 days from the wedding until I left his cheating áss. 4 days after the ceremony, he went out to celebrate NYE. I couldn't go because I was pregnant and suffering from a bit of nausea. He came home in the early hours of the next day with an entire necklace of lovebites/hickies (he hooked up with an ex), the idiot even tried to hide them from me by popping his collar 😂 I had to wait another 4 days before I could get enough money together to book into a bed and breakfast and get the héll away from the cheating scúmbag.
Ricarda Sams 2 years ago
Wow reading these I can finally appreciate my long term single life 😬✌️
marianne eliza 2 years ago (edited)
My brother married a B**** who actually said it was worth getting married just for the honeymoon her parents were paying for. Didn't last long. She required daily doses of drama and trauma so she had something different to regale everyone with. Every. Single. Day. And her drama and trauma had to be bigger than anyone else's.
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