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Husband Keeps Introducing Woman As Aquarium Guide Instead Of Marine Biologist, She’s Had Enough
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Husband Keeps Introducing Woman As Aquarium Guide Instead Of Marine Biologist, She’s Had Enough

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Supporting each other’s dreams and careers should be a part of every healthy relationship, shouldn’t it? After all, if you’re in a relationship with someone, you should like that person enough to support them. Well, apparently this is not always the case.

In this story, a woman changed her profession from a nurse to a marine biologist. But her husband clearly didn’t like that, and ever since the change, he’s belittled her job title when introducing her. And, well, that caused quite a rift in their relationship.

More info: Reddit

While it seems sensible that people in a relationship should support each other, in reality, it’s not always the case

Image credits: yanalya / Freepik (not the actual photo)

A woman who once worked as a nurse now works as a marine biologist a job she actually likes

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Image credits: Benjamin Recinos / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

But her husband doesn’t seem to like her new profession, as he constantly introduces her as a mere aquarium worker instead of a professional

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Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

This caused the woman to feel underappreciated, so she called him out, but he said she was just overreacting

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Image credits: TropicalOctopuss

So, she came online to ask whether she was actually a jerk for not liking the way he belittled her

Back in the day, the OP studied nursing and later worked in this profession. But she wasn’t happy with her job. 

There are numerous reasons why people tend not to like their jobs. Maybe they’re bored of the repetitive tasks, or maybe they feel burnt out or underappreciated. Perhaps they’re underpaid or have simply lost their passion for the job. 

While the author didn’t directly explain the reason why she struggled in her previous job, the point was that she didn’t enjoy it enough to stay at it. So, she decided to go back to school. This allowed her to get a job she feels fulfilled by – working as a marine biologist. 

To be more specific, she started working in a turtle rehabilitation center. Typically, at these kinds of centers, specialists monitor and nurse back to health injured turtles before finally releasing them back into the ocean. 

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Yet, the main issue with her new job wasn’t the job itself, but the way her husband introduced it to other people. Apparently, he constantly dubs her as a tour guide in a local aquarium. While there’s no shame in being a tour guide, the woman worked too hard in school for her job title to be diminished so much. 

The man justifies that this way is just easier to explain to people what she does. He also thinks it’s funny. What infuriates his wife about it is that he knows how much she worked in school. A typical marine biology program takes around 4 years to finish, and she did it while working as a nurse. And still, the husband has no problem belittling it all. 

What is interesting is that when the OP used to nurse, her husband never had this issue. But now, when he introduces her as a mere aquarium worker, people look at her with pity – she used to be a nurse! 

Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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So, no wonder she started correcting him whenever he misspoke. Now he is mad – apparently, he feels like her corrections make him look like a fool. 

Since she couldn’t stand him belittling her title, one day she refused to go to an event with him. The only condition that would have made her agree to go was that he would agree to introduce her properly. But this didn’t seem fair to him – in his eyes, his wife was simply overreacting. So, she didn’t go. 

At the event, people wondered where the OP was, which made her husband uncomfortable. But, well, that’s his price to pay for not wanting to introduce his wife properly, isn’t it? 

Folks in the comments would agree with this kind of sentiment. They kept talking about the things we’ve already mentioned – the belittlement and so on. It seemed weird to them that he intentionally was undermining her success. 

The reasons a person might try to undermine their partner can be various. For instance, they might feel threatened by their success. Or perhaps jealous and insecure about their career and stuff. In this story, it isn’t entirely clear why this was happening. Either way, it isn’t something that should happen in a healthy relationship. 

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Some netizens even suggested to the OP that she should start introducing him improperly too. For example, as her roommate instead of her husband – something smaller than he actually is. It may not be the healthiest technique, but might be an effective one. 

So, we can only hope that ever since the post was written, the couple has been able to work it out and now they’re enjoying a relationship where they both appreciate each other’s careers.

People online agreed that she wasn’t wrong and told her that she deserved better than him

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Ugnė Bulotaitė

Ugnė Bulotaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

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Ugnė Bulotaitė

Ugnė Bulotaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

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Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

What do you think about the husband's behavior towards his wife's new job?
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Monica G
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it strange that he is answering over her. This shows intentionality. How about writing on his palm your title, as a reminder when he "forgets" next. Just joking.

Kyra Heiker
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He obviously feels threatened by her accomplishments, and feels as if he needs to denigrate her to make himself feel important. He's just a jerk though.

C.O. Shea
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cavemen have trouble with multi-syllabic words... ugh, me Grok.

Sunny Day
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When he jumps in to answer for you, just roll your eyes and say "Stop teasing them." *turn to other person* "I'm a marine biologist at Turtle Rehab. He thinks it's funny to make up job titles. He calls himself an engineer but he actually works for Train Company."

JB
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When OP was “just” a nurse he didn’t feel threatened. Now she has a degree and impressive job title he’s struggling to feel superior. Dumb really because the entire health system depends on nurses plus everyone else. They often know as much, if not more, than doctors. In my experience, they get to know you more than the doctors have time to. I want to express my deepest gratitude to everyone in healthcare who saw us through COVID. What you dealt with wasn’t unprecedented but it was the first time in nearly 100 years that the entire system was stretched to the limits (and beyond). We couldn’t have got through anywhere near as intact as a society without you.

Kimberley Dillon Chapman
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nurses also have degrees. From an 2 year degree through to a PhD. It's an amazing career

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Jacquie Carr
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What he doesn't realise is that people will think he's an idiot anyway; they'll either think he's not bright enough to remember a whole sentence or that he is deliberately undermining her because he's jealous & controlling which is the absolute truth

Aline
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If a someone speaks over you and for you, they don't respect you and they are definitely not worth your time.

Pandaodboredem22
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a POS (husband). My wife and I have jokes, but I can't imagine "joking" to strangers about anything that's hurtful outside the confines of our home.

Kare Deter
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine does this stupid c**p sometimes, but then he catches "the look" and immediately follows up with "I shouldn't have said that" 😂

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Schmebulock
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Introduce him as a janitor. It's way easier than explaining engineer.

Rebel Peewee
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a copywriter at an international ad agency and my husband used to tell people I'm a writer for a marketing company bc he thought ppl wouldn't understand my real title. I told him people don't understand his real one, either. Plus i'm extremely proud of the efforts I've taken to get here, I don't want it ignored. He took time to reflect and sincerely apologized, and he's never done it again bc he respects me, my career, and my request.

Super Beast
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

10 bucks say this isnt the first time he's undermining her. And she has TWO degrees, one she got while she was working. That's a tremendous achievement.

Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since OP's hubs is an engineer, she can introduce HIM to people by saying, "He plays with trains." :) If he doesn't cut this s**t out I would seriously consider separating + divorce if he refuses to go to counseling with me.

Insomniac
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And divorce in 5... 4... 3... 2... It's not just the career title. He must be belittling her in dozens of other ways, too. This behaviour doesn't stick to one thing. He gets off on feeling superior to his wife, and she's not taking it anymore. This will not end well.

Yu Pan
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's so hard to understand about marine biology/a marine biologist? And who's asking him to remember all the details about her job? If an engineer can't understand what a marine biologist does, I'd seriously question he's all there up there. I dreamt of becoming a marine biologist, if not for me can't swim and am afraid of the ocean. Op, I think you have the coolest job--a much better job than your husband's--and I would love to hear you talk about your work!

Paul C
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just tell people your husband washes cars for a living. He'll soon learn to get your job title right.

Vira
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not going to deny that insecurity plays a huge part in these behaviors, but I've experienced this differently. I think some people really diminish certain career choices as, "useless," or "not a real job." Weirdly, biology is one of them. If you're in medicine, that's seen as acceptable, even respectable, but anything else is not. Ecology, biology, entomology, mycology, or plant sciences, like botany, and even restoration or agricultural, are frequently met with bewilderment or condescension. "Just waters plants for a living," or, "sits on beaches all day." I've heard a lot of derogatory remarks from people about various sciences including "do you even make money doing that?" I feel that people's ignorance, and people imagining that people don't make any money in these careers, or that the jobs aren't important, plays a massive role in "Mr. Engineer's" behavior type. It's possible he sees her job as worthless.

Jessica Olson
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So not only is he undermining her and putting her down he's gaslighting her too. A joke is only a joke if all parties involved in the joke find it funny (especially a long running gag). Otherwise it's just bullying.

Pandroid Rebellion
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not allowing him to belittle her is undermining him? This kind of boolsheet is why I am blissfully unmarried. If there are no kids she should leave. He will find another way to make her LESS than him in his own eyes. Being a Marine Biologist is very interesting. He doesn't want her to be vital and interesting.

Nicole Weymann
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her husband is an engineer. I think I'd go on the offensive: "Hi, I'm Tropical Octopus. I'm a marine biologist. This is [husband]. He's a tinkerer" Really, what does an engineer do anyway? It's too complicated for people and a lot funnier this way. /S /JK

H. B. Nielsen
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"My husband is an engineer" yep, I get it now. Not meaning to disrespect the profession, but engeneers can be very socially unaware and big time a holes/ superiority complexes. There have been quite a few stories in the last couple of years very similar to this one where that was the husband's occupation. Very demeaning about whatever it is the wife does and can't be bothered. Personal experience although anecdotal has been the same.

Hphizzle
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kind of behavior from him is just the tip of the iceberg of issues in their relationship. Should probably start counseling soon or this is the beginning of the end of the relationship.

SpyderMoonBee
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He obviously feels threatened. She went from "lowly nurse" (in his eyes) to "real scientist". Uh oh. Now he feels the need to trash on her so she stays beneath him. I'd divorce his a*s quick.

Nikole
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup. I bet if she became a medical doctor instead he’d still introduce her as a nurse.

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scaldingstarfish
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I honestly only have to ask once if something like this happened in my relationship. If he is continuing to disrespect your request and find it 'funny and easier' maybe he needs a wife who finds that cute. You deserve someone who will listen and change behaviors when you feel hurt and bring it to them. Otherwise, why be in a relationship with him? What does he provide besides that? Something like this isn't usually an isolated incident. He needs to respect your boundaries for your title and if not, just let you explain since his delicate head can't handle it. Which I will point out is strange an engineer isn't smart enough to be able to explain his wife's job.

Momifer
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oof. I felt this to my core. Like OP, I have 2 very large degrees in scientific majors. My ex would tell people I was his retirement plan. I'd laugh and tell people that my day job was (insert what I was doing at the time)

Karina
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Oh, im sorry. My soon to be ex cant remember 8 stringed words togheter. Im a marine biologist working with turtle-rehabilitation".

Page intentially left blank
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The man has a fragile male ego. He needs to get over it and acknowledge his wife's accomplishments, instead of belittling her. Wife needs to call him out - in front of as many people as possible.

Lana Bowers
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her husband is an engineer, so she could cone up with some stupid way of referring to his work like "repairman" or something

Hannah
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This. This right here is why I'm still and likely always will be single. I've watched and heard one too many people waste their life on a person they thought was Mr/Mrs Right, only to be treated like sh*t. Not me. No siree. I'll gladly be lonely the rest of my life it it means never putting myself in this kind of position.

FM MD
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wwow an engineer that doesn't know how to say biologist, what a chump, you should toss him into the sea

Helena
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've met very few engineers with social skills and far fewer who aren't just super arrogant.

FlamingRed
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Start telling everyone your husband is a draftsman. When he freaks out, tell him it's just too much trouble to remember what he really does and that the fake job title is funny. Actually, I would seriously be considering divorce. He's doing this intentionally because he needs his woman to be "less than" him. I would not want to live with someone like that.

Nitka Tsar
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I see divorce in their future. He’s SO disrespecting her!

Orysha
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nope he is not an engineer at all, he's just a professionnal insecure as.shole. She should start introducng him this way. Of course, that might be the first step to divorce.

laura lee
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He thinks he has a hilarious "joke" that keeps failing that's why he's adamant to "prove" its hilarity to her by doing this over and over until he gets the right response and can go "seeeeee, funny" and he's insecure.

angela curry
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For whatever the reason, perhaps financial, this man is being a D***, probably won't change and should be divorced!

Hphizzle
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Repeat after me: Ma. ‘Ma’ reen. ‘reen’ biol. ‘biol’ ogist. ‘ogist’ marine biologist. ‘Aquarium tour guide’

Paula Wynn
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

DEFINITELY NTA!!! Hubby doesn't like your new career, for some reason. Did he want you to STAY in nursing? A GOOD husband would brag, "MY WIFE WAS A NURSE, BUT WENT BACK TO EARN ANOTHER DEGREE IN MARINE BIOLOGY. SHE'S SO SMART!" His refusal to properly state your position seems to be a power play at this point. I wonder how he'd feel if you told people that he fixed engines instead of saying he was an engineer. I'd seek professional help to get to the bottom of this. He's being EXTREMELY disrespectful to you and your accomplishments!!!

Denise McCaskill White
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Introduce him as a maintenance man instead of an engineer, see if he has problem with you giving an incorrect job title for him.

Weak Knees
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate the "you're overreacting" being leveled from someone who's acting like a horse's patoot. Are all the people you meet non-English speakers? I've lived in the desert all my life and don't care for the ocean, but I can figure out what a marine biologist is and does.

Jean Grey
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He knows precisely what he's doing and his lie that he 'can't remember' to introduce & address her correctly is simply a way of escaping consequences (it's called 'weaponized ignorance' and it's a manipulation tactic of domestic abusers). This toxic game he's playing with her is his passive-aggressive way of knocking her down a peg to take away her power from having made such a great achievement and loving the job she does - while he's done nothing equally as ambitious. And he will never stop doing this to her. This is his default, go-to tactic when dealing with women who make him feel 'less of a man'. Every time she outshines him from now on, he will make it his mission to knock her down. She needs to divorce him and never look back. He's poison to a partner and if she stays, he will diminish her until she's on her knees, making herself smaller to feed his overblown ego. He's a gross narcissist.

Clara Stallworth
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe OP should introduce her husband as "one who designs such-and-such", which would make him look like less than an engineer (yeah, I'm petty); that would give him a taste of his own medicine!

Susy Hammond
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It isn't difficult to say marine biologist. Maybe he's the guy that shovels the coal into the engine, or feeds the dalmatian at the local firehouse were he a firefighter. He's a monumental jerk. I'd have had it, too. "He belittles his wife's career because he thinks it's funny"--that's his job title.

Marian Moore
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He sounds very insecure and doesn't like the fact that his wife has a job that she loves. He is the one with the problem and if he wants the marriage to work, he needs to stop being an idiot.

tjames19701962
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Introduce him as a train conductor. It's funnier than engineer...

The Starsong Princess
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Embarrass him every time he does this and tell him it’s really funny when he protests. But the real problem is he is threatened by your career. It was ok when you were a nurse because that’s a pink collar job but his masculinity is threatened by your current job. This marriage is in trouble because there’s a lot of contempt here.

Lorrie Rothstein
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All I’m thinking of is George Costanza saying he was a marine biologist. The sea was angry that day. Why would marine biologist be so hard for the husband to remember?

Damned_Cat
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's definitely some jealousy about her having such a unique profession. Perhaps when she introduces him, she can just say he does "some kind of fabrication".

marianne eliza
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband is seriously insecure over his wife equaling and perhaps surpassing him intellectually. And he's showing it by his passive-aggressive behavior. Been there.

roddy
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try introducing him as a handyman. Then maybe he'll get the picture.

Kerry Fletcher
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hi I'm a marine biologist, this is my husband frank. He pokes around stuff.

Susan Schlee
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should tell people that he "plays with trains", when asked what her husband does. Or interject with this when someone is asking him what he does, just like he did to her!

Vicki Mathison
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would correct him and say aw he gets confused sometimes. That's should end that. If not get a divorce, why be with someone who wants to minimize you.

Suzie
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How hard is it to say "Meet my wife. She's a marine biologist."? He probably feels a inferior now with his engineering degree. I hope she starts introducing him as her first husband.

Charlie
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So he's an engineer and claims memory loss 🤔 he's definitely lying here. OP sayings he doesn't let her talk but takes control of the conversation so he's obviously upset and petty. He doesn't see ur work as important or life-saving as nursing. Which is untrue. He seems to not care about animals and probably finds u stupid going from human healthcare to animal advocate. OP this is ur life, ur say. People seems to think because ur in a, relationship they have a say in their partners life. They don't. We are unique individuals with unique personalities and tastes. U found your place and doing what u love. Keep going. Next he tries this just cut him off, laugh and U introduce ur own self

Don't even
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since engineering is a broad field make a joke with his job. "this is my husband, he drives trains or something"

Jay Curran
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There seems to be something more going on here. The article doesn’t say whether or not the wife took a large pay cut to start her new career and maybe the husband resents it. Nursing pays a lot more since Covid, over 100K to start in my area. It sounds like they didn’t discuss the consequences of starting a new career. I don’t think we know the whole story.

HUH?
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When he tells people he’s an engineer. You tell them yes he drive the kiddie train at the mall. Then walk off, get in the car, drive home, pack a bag, block his number, send text that you’ve had enough & check into a hotel for a few days. Anyone calls and gives you the “oh he didn’t mean it” ignore them too.

Brian Tarr
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, George Costanza was proud to pretend to be a marine biologist! (Though of course he would've preferred that Jerry had said he was an architect.)

Crystal Nordstrom
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Call him a mechanic the one that comes up with unnecessary ideas making a easy process harder oh yeah that's engineer my bad

Lily
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, I'd probably get all wiseass and correct him saying the big words stump him. And then day them slowly. He’s doing it to undermine you. He’s mocking and cruel and insulting. Give it back in doses he can’t take.

S C
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he's a jerk and he's very jealous of her new job. so he's belittling her to make himself feel more important.

Canadadreams
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I always wonder why can’t men show off their wives with their great achievements or accomplishments, proudly to others? It will make him look awesome. Rather they belittle their wives before others thinking tht they are showing off themselves in more value than the wives, but in reality they are embarrassing themselves disrespecting the wife. They are showing themselves in bad light. Can’t really help their egoistic minds and attitudes. Give respect and take respect idiom came into being seeing such a******s. U got to take charge and belittle him in reverse. And the excuse he is giving, saying he can’t remember the details… oh my god cant tell u how ridiculous that sounds. Is he really working as an engineer or he works as janitor or something and lying to u, as he is not able to remember simple 2 English words. U got to verify his job. Finally to tell u the fact, HE IS DOING IT ON PURPOSE AS IT GIVES HIM THE KICK BELITTLING YOU. He doesn’t want to remember those words period.

Comment Deleted
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

POST IS OVER A YEAR OLD. Complete waste of time reading this as it is no longer current .

Monica G
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it strange that he is answering over her. This shows intentionality. How about writing on his palm your title, as a reminder when he "forgets" next. Just joking.

Kyra Heiker
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He obviously feels threatened by her accomplishments, and feels as if he needs to denigrate her to make himself feel important. He's just a jerk though.

C.O. Shea
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cavemen have trouble with multi-syllabic words... ugh, me Grok.

Sunny Day
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When he jumps in to answer for you, just roll your eyes and say "Stop teasing them." *turn to other person* "I'm a marine biologist at Turtle Rehab. He thinks it's funny to make up job titles. He calls himself an engineer but he actually works for Train Company."

JB
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When OP was “just” a nurse he didn’t feel threatened. Now she has a degree and impressive job title he’s struggling to feel superior. Dumb really because the entire health system depends on nurses plus everyone else. They often know as much, if not more, than doctors. In my experience, they get to know you more than the doctors have time to. I want to express my deepest gratitude to everyone in healthcare who saw us through COVID. What you dealt with wasn’t unprecedented but it was the first time in nearly 100 years that the entire system was stretched to the limits (and beyond). We couldn’t have got through anywhere near as intact as a society without you.

Kimberley Dillon Chapman
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nurses also have degrees. From an 2 year degree through to a PhD. It's an amazing career

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Jacquie Carr
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What he doesn't realise is that people will think he's an idiot anyway; they'll either think he's not bright enough to remember a whole sentence or that he is deliberately undermining her because he's jealous & controlling which is the absolute truth

Aline
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If a someone speaks over you and for you, they don't respect you and they are definitely not worth your time.

Pandaodboredem22
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a POS (husband). My wife and I have jokes, but I can't imagine "joking" to strangers about anything that's hurtful outside the confines of our home.

Kare Deter
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine does this stupid c**p sometimes, but then he catches "the look" and immediately follows up with "I shouldn't have said that" 😂

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Schmebulock
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Introduce him as a janitor. It's way easier than explaining engineer.

Rebel Peewee
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a copywriter at an international ad agency and my husband used to tell people I'm a writer for a marketing company bc he thought ppl wouldn't understand my real title. I told him people don't understand his real one, either. Plus i'm extremely proud of the efforts I've taken to get here, I don't want it ignored. He took time to reflect and sincerely apologized, and he's never done it again bc he respects me, my career, and my request.

Super Beast
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

10 bucks say this isnt the first time he's undermining her. And she has TWO degrees, one she got while she was working. That's a tremendous achievement.

Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since OP's hubs is an engineer, she can introduce HIM to people by saying, "He plays with trains." :) If he doesn't cut this s**t out I would seriously consider separating + divorce if he refuses to go to counseling with me.

Insomniac
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And divorce in 5... 4... 3... 2... It's not just the career title. He must be belittling her in dozens of other ways, too. This behaviour doesn't stick to one thing. He gets off on feeling superior to his wife, and she's not taking it anymore. This will not end well.

Yu Pan
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's so hard to understand about marine biology/a marine biologist? And who's asking him to remember all the details about her job? If an engineer can't understand what a marine biologist does, I'd seriously question he's all there up there. I dreamt of becoming a marine biologist, if not for me can't swim and am afraid of the ocean. Op, I think you have the coolest job--a much better job than your husband's--and I would love to hear you talk about your work!

Paul C
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just tell people your husband washes cars for a living. He'll soon learn to get your job title right.

Vira
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not going to deny that insecurity plays a huge part in these behaviors, but I've experienced this differently. I think some people really diminish certain career choices as, "useless," or "not a real job." Weirdly, biology is one of them. If you're in medicine, that's seen as acceptable, even respectable, but anything else is not. Ecology, biology, entomology, mycology, or plant sciences, like botany, and even restoration or agricultural, are frequently met with bewilderment or condescension. "Just waters plants for a living," or, "sits on beaches all day." I've heard a lot of derogatory remarks from people about various sciences including "do you even make money doing that?" I feel that people's ignorance, and people imagining that people don't make any money in these careers, or that the jobs aren't important, plays a massive role in "Mr. Engineer's" behavior type. It's possible he sees her job as worthless.

Jessica Olson
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So not only is he undermining her and putting her down he's gaslighting her too. A joke is only a joke if all parties involved in the joke find it funny (especially a long running gag). Otherwise it's just bullying.

Pandroid Rebellion
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not allowing him to belittle her is undermining him? This kind of boolsheet is why I am blissfully unmarried. If there are no kids she should leave. He will find another way to make her LESS than him in his own eyes. Being a Marine Biologist is very interesting. He doesn't want her to be vital and interesting.

Nicole Weymann
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her husband is an engineer. I think I'd go on the offensive: "Hi, I'm Tropical Octopus. I'm a marine biologist. This is [husband]. He's a tinkerer" Really, what does an engineer do anyway? It's too complicated for people and a lot funnier this way. /S /JK

H. B. Nielsen
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"My husband is an engineer" yep, I get it now. Not meaning to disrespect the profession, but engeneers can be very socially unaware and big time a holes/ superiority complexes. There have been quite a few stories in the last couple of years very similar to this one where that was the husband's occupation. Very demeaning about whatever it is the wife does and can't be bothered. Personal experience although anecdotal has been the same.

Hphizzle
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kind of behavior from him is just the tip of the iceberg of issues in their relationship. Should probably start counseling soon or this is the beginning of the end of the relationship.

SpyderMoonBee
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He obviously feels threatened. She went from "lowly nurse" (in his eyes) to "real scientist". Uh oh. Now he feels the need to trash on her so she stays beneath him. I'd divorce his a*s quick.

Nikole
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup. I bet if she became a medical doctor instead he’d still introduce her as a nurse.

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scaldingstarfish
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I honestly only have to ask once if something like this happened in my relationship. If he is continuing to disrespect your request and find it 'funny and easier' maybe he needs a wife who finds that cute. You deserve someone who will listen and change behaviors when you feel hurt and bring it to them. Otherwise, why be in a relationship with him? What does he provide besides that? Something like this isn't usually an isolated incident. He needs to respect your boundaries for your title and if not, just let you explain since his delicate head can't handle it. Which I will point out is strange an engineer isn't smart enough to be able to explain his wife's job.

Momifer
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oof. I felt this to my core. Like OP, I have 2 very large degrees in scientific majors. My ex would tell people I was his retirement plan. I'd laugh and tell people that my day job was (insert what I was doing at the time)

Karina
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Oh, im sorry. My soon to be ex cant remember 8 stringed words togheter. Im a marine biologist working with turtle-rehabilitation".

Page intentially left blank
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The man has a fragile male ego. He needs to get over it and acknowledge his wife's accomplishments, instead of belittling her. Wife needs to call him out - in front of as many people as possible.

Lana Bowers
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her husband is an engineer, so she could cone up with some stupid way of referring to his work like "repairman" or something

Hannah
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This. This right here is why I'm still and likely always will be single. I've watched and heard one too many people waste their life on a person they thought was Mr/Mrs Right, only to be treated like sh*t. Not me. No siree. I'll gladly be lonely the rest of my life it it means never putting myself in this kind of position.

FM MD
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wwow an engineer that doesn't know how to say biologist, what a chump, you should toss him into the sea

Helena
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've met very few engineers with social skills and far fewer who aren't just super arrogant.

FlamingRed
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Start telling everyone your husband is a draftsman. When he freaks out, tell him it's just too much trouble to remember what he really does and that the fake job title is funny. Actually, I would seriously be considering divorce. He's doing this intentionally because he needs his woman to be "less than" him. I would not want to live with someone like that.

Nitka Tsar
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I see divorce in their future. He’s SO disrespecting her!

Orysha
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nope he is not an engineer at all, he's just a professionnal insecure as.shole. She should start introducng him this way. Of course, that might be the first step to divorce.

laura lee
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He thinks he has a hilarious "joke" that keeps failing that's why he's adamant to "prove" its hilarity to her by doing this over and over until he gets the right response and can go "seeeeee, funny" and he's insecure.

angela curry
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For whatever the reason, perhaps financial, this man is being a D***, probably won't change and should be divorced!

Hphizzle
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Repeat after me: Ma. ‘Ma’ reen. ‘reen’ biol. ‘biol’ ogist. ‘ogist’ marine biologist. ‘Aquarium tour guide’

Paula Wynn
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

DEFINITELY NTA!!! Hubby doesn't like your new career, for some reason. Did he want you to STAY in nursing? A GOOD husband would brag, "MY WIFE WAS A NURSE, BUT WENT BACK TO EARN ANOTHER DEGREE IN MARINE BIOLOGY. SHE'S SO SMART!" His refusal to properly state your position seems to be a power play at this point. I wonder how he'd feel if you told people that he fixed engines instead of saying he was an engineer. I'd seek professional help to get to the bottom of this. He's being EXTREMELY disrespectful to you and your accomplishments!!!

Denise McCaskill White
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Introduce him as a maintenance man instead of an engineer, see if he has problem with you giving an incorrect job title for him.

Weak Knees
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate the "you're overreacting" being leveled from someone who's acting like a horse's patoot. Are all the people you meet non-English speakers? I've lived in the desert all my life and don't care for the ocean, but I can figure out what a marine biologist is and does.

Jean Grey
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He knows precisely what he's doing and his lie that he 'can't remember' to introduce & address her correctly is simply a way of escaping consequences (it's called 'weaponized ignorance' and it's a manipulation tactic of domestic abusers). This toxic game he's playing with her is his passive-aggressive way of knocking her down a peg to take away her power from having made such a great achievement and loving the job she does - while he's done nothing equally as ambitious. And he will never stop doing this to her. This is his default, go-to tactic when dealing with women who make him feel 'less of a man'. Every time she outshines him from now on, he will make it his mission to knock her down. She needs to divorce him and never look back. He's poison to a partner and if she stays, he will diminish her until she's on her knees, making herself smaller to feed his overblown ego. He's a gross narcissist.

Clara Stallworth
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe OP should introduce her husband as "one who designs such-and-such", which would make him look like less than an engineer (yeah, I'm petty); that would give him a taste of his own medicine!

Susy Hammond
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It isn't difficult to say marine biologist. Maybe he's the guy that shovels the coal into the engine, or feeds the dalmatian at the local firehouse were he a firefighter. He's a monumental jerk. I'd have had it, too. "He belittles his wife's career because he thinks it's funny"--that's his job title.

Marian Moore
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He sounds very insecure and doesn't like the fact that his wife has a job that she loves. He is the one with the problem and if he wants the marriage to work, he needs to stop being an idiot.

tjames19701962
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Introduce him as a train conductor. It's funnier than engineer...

The Starsong Princess
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Embarrass him every time he does this and tell him it’s really funny when he protests. But the real problem is he is threatened by your career. It was ok when you were a nurse because that’s a pink collar job but his masculinity is threatened by your current job. This marriage is in trouble because there’s a lot of contempt here.

Lorrie Rothstein
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All I’m thinking of is George Costanza saying he was a marine biologist. The sea was angry that day. Why would marine biologist be so hard for the husband to remember?

Damned_Cat
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's definitely some jealousy about her having such a unique profession. Perhaps when she introduces him, she can just say he does "some kind of fabrication".

marianne eliza
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband is seriously insecure over his wife equaling and perhaps surpassing him intellectually. And he's showing it by his passive-aggressive behavior. Been there.

roddy
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try introducing him as a handyman. Then maybe he'll get the picture.

Kerry Fletcher
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hi I'm a marine biologist, this is my husband frank. He pokes around stuff.

Susan Schlee
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should tell people that he "plays with trains", when asked what her husband does. Or interject with this when someone is asking him what he does, just like he did to her!

Vicki Mathison
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would correct him and say aw he gets confused sometimes. That's should end that. If not get a divorce, why be with someone who wants to minimize you.

Suzie
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How hard is it to say "Meet my wife. She's a marine biologist."? He probably feels a inferior now with his engineering degree. I hope she starts introducing him as her first husband.

Charlie
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So he's an engineer and claims memory loss 🤔 he's definitely lying here. OP sayings he doesn't let her talk but takes control of the conversation so he's obviously upset and petty. He doesn't see ur work as important or life-saving as nursing. Which is untrue. He seems to not care about animals and probably finds u stupid going from human healthcare to animal advocate. OP this is ur life, ur say. People seems to think because ur in a, relationship they have a say in their partners life. They don't. We are unique individuals with unique personalities and tastes. U found your place and doing what u love. Keep going. Next he tries this just cut him off, laugh and U introduce ur own self

Don't even
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since engineering is a broad field make a joke with his job. "this is my husband, he drives trains or something"

Jay Curran
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There seems to be something more going on here. The article doesn’t say whether or not the wife took a large pay cut to start her new career and maybe the husband resents it. Nursing pays a lot more since Covid, over 100K to start in my area. It sounds like they didn’t discuss the consequences of starting a new career. I don’t think we know the whole story.

HUH?
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When he tells people he’s an engineer. You tell them yes he drive the kiddie train at the mall. Then walk off, get in the car, drive home, pack a bag, block his number, send text that you’ve had enough & check into a hotel for a few days. Anyone calls and gives you the “oh he didn’t mean it” ignore them too.

Brian Tarr
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, George Costanza was proud to pretend to be a marine biologist! (Though of course he would've preferred that Jerry had said he was an architect.)

Crystal Nordstrom
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Call him a mechanic the one that comes up with unnecessary ideas making a easy process harder oh yeah that's engineer my bad

Lily
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, I'd probably get all wiseass and correct him saying the big words stump him. And then day them slowly. He’s doing it to undermine you. He’s mocking and cruel and insulting. Give it back in doses he can’t take.

S C
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he's a jerk and he's very jealous of her new job. so he's belittling her to make himself feel more important.

Canadadreams
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I always wonder why can’t men show off their wives with their great achievements or accomplishments, proudly to others? It will make him look awesome. Rather they belittle their wives before others thinking tht they are showing off themselves in more value than the wives, but in reality they are embarrassing themselves disrespecting the wife. They are showing themselves in bad light. Can’t really help their egoistic minds and attitudes. Give respect and take respect idiom came into being seeing such a******s. U got to take charge and belittle him in reverse. And the excuse he is giving, saying he can’t remember the details… oh my god cant tell u how ridiculous that sounds. Is he really working as an engineer or he works as janitor or something and lying to u, as he is not able to remember simple 2 English words. U got to verify his job. Finally to tell u the fact, HE IS DOING IT ON PURPOSE AS IT GIVES HIM THE KICK BELITTLING YOU. He doesn’t want to remember those words period.

Comment Deleted
Community Member
2 months ago

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POST IS OVER A YEAR OLD. Complete waste of time reading this as it is no longer current .

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