So I bought that shirt from TikTok that says, "Teach a man to fish and he'll turn around and try to teach you to fish like he invented it and you're an idiot." This girl on TikTok, I can't find her, please tag her, let her know I love that shirt. Anyway, I wore that shirt to work at our brewery. And a man was like, "Hey, what that shirt mean?" And I explained it to him. And he was like, "No, I think it kind of gives me biblical vibes" and told me about how it represented Jonah in the belly of the whale, which did not even make sense. But yes, a man did try to mansplain my mansplaining t-shirt to me.

One time I went to the grocery store with my ex boyfriend because I needed tampons, and I had made a comment about how I thought the tampons were getting so expensive. And he straight up told me to stop complaining. And I said "No tampons and pads should be free because it's something that a woman needs and something that they just can't control" then he says "No, buying one box of tampons is like buying a bulk item from Costco." And I was like, "What are you talking about? Some of the boxes only have like 10 or 20 in them. That's not a lot." And he tries to tell me that women only need one tampon throughout their whole entire cycle. I'm full on arguing with him in the middle of the grocery store saying "No, you have to change them every couple hours or you can get toxic shock syndrome and get really really sick and potentially die." And he said, "See you're paying for something that could be deadly. Of course it's not going to be free." I broke up with him after that.

So a little bit of backstory here. I'm seven months pregnant. And at 20 weeks I posted a bump update. And I had a guy messaged me and say that it's disgusting, that I'm flaunting my weight gain. And I was like, "Dude, I'm pregnant." And he's like, "No, women's bodies aren't supposed to get bigger when you're pregnant. Your body is equipped with the room to carry an entire child and that any weight gain, swelling is because you're eating your cravings and you're being unhealthy and hurting your child." I pray that this man never reproduces.

I was just leaving Lowe's and the kind gentleman decided to inform me that the veterans parking at Lowe's is for the veteran and not the spouse. Sir, sir, why do you think I'm parked there?

A friend of mine asked me to share her story because she doesn't have TikTok. Her name is Madi as well, full name Madilynn. And she has a long last name with a bunch of random letters on it. Also, she's a scientist. She's very smart. Okay. She's in some kind of training class for work. And the male teacher decided that she spelled her own name wrong, so he corrected it for her. He told her to pay more attention to detail and that he fixed her mistake. He changed the ending of her last name to what he thought it was supposed to be and took the second -n off of her first name, because that just didn't seem right to him. This has happened her whole life. People tell her her last name is spelled wrong. No, I think she knows how to spell her name. Thank you very much.

I don't know if this counts, but this one time this guy was telling me something and I was like, "I don't think that's correct." And he looked at me and he said, "Well, I'm very well read and I have an IQ of 130" and that prompted the best comeback of my life. I said "Sir, do not flex being well read on an English major, I read dissertations for fun. Do not flex having a high IQ on me when I was in my school's gifted students program, the minimum IQ requirement for that is 130. Your high IQ is my bare minimum." He didn't want to talk after that. I don't know why.

Okie dokie, I feel like as an athletic female this was just made for me. So, my specialty is benchpress. Most of you guys that follow me already know that, you already know that I'm a state record holder, and that I am pushing for nationals in the next couple years. Hopefully, to take the title that'd be really cool. Most of you already know that right? Okay. Benchpress is a predominantly male activity, apparently. I swear to God if one more man comes up to me in the gym and says, "Oh, honey, honey, honey, honey, you can't bench that." "B***h the hell I can't? I bet I can rep it for more than you can. Okay, so step off." They're always trying to critique my form and I'm like, my guy, you're just making yourself look stupid.

I once had a male coworker told me that by putting my body out there on the internet, men weren't gonna take me very seriously. And then when I tried to explain to him that I'm literally doing this for everybody but men, like men are literally the last person on my list that I hope my content reaches. He told me that that was misguided because men are really in control of a lot of things. So I need men on my side. Seriously, I'm a fat lesbian who preaches body positivity and smashing the patriarchy to the girls, gays and theys. Do you know what, if a straight cis man stumbles across my profile that I hope he gets educated. But other than that, move on.

I have a lot of these and most of them come from first dates, but my favorite is the time a man asked me what I studied in undergrad. And I told him I studied Middle English literature, medieval literature. And he spent the next several minutes explaining that Shakespeare was meant to be performed and viewed on stage, not studied in classrooms on paper, and I'd probably wasted my time. Of course, Shakespeare is not medieval literature.

Off duty OBGYN here. Where do I begin? So I used to do circumcisions on newborn baby boys and a dad was very specific on how he wanted his son circumcision done and offer to show me his own circumcision, so that I would see exactly what he was referring to. I refused. And more than once that a gentleman had to explain to me how to repair an episiotomy to his exact specifications immediately after the delivery of his child. And then in the office, more than once gentlemen insisting that I give their partners medication so that they would want to have relations with them. And of course, there's the more than once that I was told in front of people's partners that I was too pretty to be a doctor.

I once had to explain to a man, that I was sleeping with, that a woman does not pee out of her clitoris, but that we have a urethra it's called urethra meatus. And it's located below the clitoris but above the vaginal opening. And I spent several hours arguing back and forth with him about this. And he kept insisting that I was wrong and he knew better because he was a biology student  and had passed as an anatomy class with flying colors. And finally I had to sit him down on the floor and take off my pants and show him, and afterward, he insisted that my vagina was deformed because women peed from the clitoris.

One time this 20 ish year old dude was telling me that it's not possible to pee with a tampon in. And I was like, "Yeah, it is, the urethra and the vagina are different things." And he just like wasn't wrapping his mind around it and he just continued to argue with me. And I was, "First of all, I'm literally both a female and a female that works in women's health and wants to become an OBGYN. Like, I'm not sure why you think you have the right to argue with me on this in the first place. Also, like how stupid you have to be to think that."

So I used to work front desk at a hotel and I was chatting with a guest one day, and at one point he asked what my name was. I said my name is Cartier. And he was like, "Oh, that's interesting. How's that spelled?" And so I spelled that for him. And he was like, "Um, no." And I was like, "What do you mean no?", and he was like, "That's pronounced car tee err." And I was like, "Um, no, actually, it's French. So it's pronounced Cartier. But Cartier is fine in English." And then he proceeded to argue with me about it back and forth. Trying to be like, "No, -er does not make an -a sound" and I was like, "Not in English but in French in does." And then he was like, "Okay, but it's French. Can you even name one person who speaks French?" And I was like "En fait, moi je parle français."

So I'm a certified athletic trainer. I did my master's thesis on concussion in sport. I deal with it every day elbow, apple, carpet, saddle, bubble, you know what I'm talking about, yeah, so I know them in and out. I was standing on the sideline of a football game guy gets hit, he kind of goes down, does a whiplash type of counter-coup type of mechanism. And I just see a light go out in his eyes, he does not look like he's there. So I immediately go over to him. I'm going to pull him off to do a quick eval when a coach literally steps in front of me says, "No, I was standing right there. I saw him he didn't get hit in the head." I said, "I know. But he hit his head on the ground. You don't have to get directly hit in the head to have a concussion." He says "No, that's not true. I played football all my life. I know." This guy literally is body checking me, will not let me do a concussion eval on this kid. Keeps bringing up how he's played football all his life, so he knows. I said, "Are you a medical professional?"

I don't know if this is so much like mansplaining or it is just men, but I gotta say my fave is whenever a man tries to say that getting kicked in the nards is worse or as bad as child birth. Honey, I've seen you crush your peanuts and I've also seen dozens of women deliver children. What happened to you, when you took a trip to pain station in between your legs? Huh? You went "Oh" and you doubled over for a few seconds and then you got up, smack your buddy on the a**, and took a shot. So many things that happens to a woman when she delivers a human but just one of them is she's not even cleared for sexual activity for at least six weeks. I've accidentally kicked my husband in his downtown during foreplay and we continued onward. I think you're gonna make it, I think you're gonna be fine.

So as most stories would start, I was dating this horrible guy. We're both in college, I'm studying biology. I told him this fun fact that being polydactyl, having more than five fingers, is a dominant trait. When I learned this in class, my mind was blown. So excited to tell him this. And he laughs at me. He starts telling me all these things, that it's absurd, my professors wrong. They don't know what they're teaching us. I mean, he was a business major, obviously, he would know. So, I tried explaining the Punnett Square to him about dominant recessive genes. And he stops me mid sentence and just says, 'I can't take you seriously right now.' Basically, he wouldn't hear me any further until I had come back after researching it more. Really tried explaining that just because it's not desired, doesn't mean it's not dominant. You know, joke's on me. I have to admit I was wrong because obviously a business major would know more about genetics.

So I'm a book editor. And I had to explain to a full grown man that women do not get their periods while they're pregnant. He had a pregnant character and there was some plot point for drama where she starts bleeding and they think it's a miscarriage. So it's this big sort of emotional thing. And the plot point was explained by it not being a miscarriage, but being a period, and she's like, eight months pregnant or something. So, I came back with all these suggestions. I'm like, "There's other reasons why she could be bleeding, can't be a period though. Like just anatomy. This is how it works." And he literally sent me a long, detailed email about how, yes, women do have their periods while they're pregnant. This man was like 50.

So I was writing on a show once and we did a table read to go through all the sketches that was written. And a man turns to me and explains why one of the sketches was funny that I wrote. And I just said, "Oh, yeah, I'm glad you understood the jokes I wrote. Now I don't have to explain them. Good job!"

One time this guy tried to explain to me that women's vaginas are just one giant labia. I told him "Well actually, women have two pairs of labia majora and the labia minora." He double down and told me that I was wrong. And that it's incredibly dangerous that sexually active women, like myself, don't have a basic understanding of our own bodies.

He told me "You can't get pregnant on your period" and I was like "Yes you can" and he was like "No you can't, I'm a medical student, I know what I'm talking about", and then I was like, "No uterus no opinion."

I had a male coworker argue with me one time about how I couldn't work the 24 hour on call because the staff quarters only had showers and not tubs, and women need tubs, and how can I respond at a moment's notice when I'm dealing with my menstrual cycle. It was all very unprofessional. Keep in mind this is a very religious person that was married to his wife when they were 16. They were only 19 at this time, but they lived a very traditional life. She was a stay at home wife. Eventually, I just asked him "Hey, why don't you just tell me and explain to me, why I need a bathtub for my menstrual cycle?" Long story short, this man's wife told him that women have their menstrual cycle for three weeks. And the only time you can have sex is for a couple days when you're ready to receive God's gift. I'm assuming when you're ovulating. For the other three weeks, women need to lay in the bathtub for two hours every night and be left the f**k alone so she can let the blood out. To f**k with her game I told him that God looks down on women working, so our periods are cut down to only one day and we deal with it on our days off. Educate f**king kids.

About a year ago my mom had been briefly dating this guy and on the night that I met him, he picked me and my mom up in his truck. And it was a pretty chilly night. It was like January or February. My mom was feeling chilly. She was sitting in the front seat, so she decided to turn off the AC. I sh**t you not. He decided to explain to her that AC in fact stood for air conditioning. And that even if she was cold, she was not allowed to turn off the AC because that means that the air in the car would not be properly conditioned. Word for word, he explained that to her and me in the backseat. My mother has a PhD. Not that that even has anything to do with this, but I was flaming with rage in the backseat, and she broke up with him shortly thereafter.

I was 19, stuck in the car with my dad on a trip and having a hellish period. So I happen to mention how bad the cramps were. And my father, a normally, you know, palatable aging hippie with a master's degree in science, turns to me and says, 'Maybe if you worshiped your uterus, it would be nicer to you.' Excuse me, Jim.

A man once told me that Jeff Bezos didn't own any stock because all of his net worth was tied up in his ownership of Amazon. A share of stock is ownership of a company. He effectively owns Amazon because he owns like 35 million shares with Amazon stock. That's what stock is. That's what it is.

When I was working at Spencer's a guy came in and he was looking at our jewelry cases. And he noticed, at the time we get these little at home, do it yourself ear piercing kits and he tried talking to me about how horrible those are for your ears and like "That's not the proper way to do piercings." I was like, "Well yeah, I know but I'm just paid to sell the products. I've no saying what we carry here. I just don't have a say in that." And he tried talking to me about the proper way to do piercings with clams and hollow needles and how it's more like a hole punch and all that stuff. And I was, "Well, yeah, I know." And it's grown man who had no visible body modifications, piercings, tattoos, anything, was looking at the metal hanging out of my f**king face. And he goes, "I don't really think you understand what I'm trying to say. I have a buddy who does piercings and I'm always down at a shop and I'm seeing him do this all day long." You're right. I just like don't know about piercings.

One time I was at my husband's work function and one of his co workers asked me what I do for a living. I said, "Oh, I'm getting my PhD." He goes, "Oh, what are you writing on?" I say, "Oh, I actually do sci fi adaptations of the canon, mostly comic book adaptations of like the "Odyssey In Outer Space", that kind of thing." It's kind of my line. He goes, "Oh, you must be really excited for the Octavia Butler comics that are coming out soon." I go "What?" And he goes, "Octavia Butler was a really famous sci fi writer. She wrote a lot of Afrofuturism, I don't know have you heard a 'Parable Of The Sower' or 'Kindred' Those are kind of her most famous works and you should really check them out. They sound relevant to your work." I said "I don't, do you possibly mean adaptations of her work?" And he goes "No, I think they're gonna be original comics that Octavia Butler is gonna be involved in writing." And I go "I don't think so." And this man proceeds to really double down, he really thinks Octavia Butler's coming out with comics, so eventually interrupted I go "Sir, Octavia Butler passed away in 2006."

So, I have an accent and when guys asked me where I'm from and I say Iceland a lot of them will reply with something like here's the thing about Iceland and tell me a fact about my own country.

Oh, yes, please. I'm a comedian and I used to do a joke about my bra size. And I would say G42. To make the joke work, I said G42. Okay. And I had a male comedian, an old male comedian, come up to me and he was like, "You're doing it all wrong, because like, no one understands what you're saying. Do you know anything about bras. You know, bra size?" Do I know bras? Um, yes, I do. And then he just went on to say that no one understood it because I didn't say 42G I said G42. It was ridiculous. I mean, to be honest, I think he was just mad because my boobs are bigger than his like, that's jealousy.

So a few weeks ago, I was on a date in Colorado with one of my friends. And I was explaining my van built to him and telling him all about the work that I did on it and my solar setup. And I have 750 watts of solar power available to me on my van, which was a very intentional choice. It's a huge investment. It's, I knew what I was doing, wanted to run sewing machines, all the stuff that I need to work and potentially be able to install an industrial sewing machine in it one day. Anyways, this man gets up from across the patio comes over interrupts our conversation to ask me if I understand that's a lot of solar power. And if I was aware, because it was just so crazy to him that I have that much solar power, and he just wanted to make sure that I knew that that was a lot. Okay.

Okay? Do you guys know that TikTok trend where people are like, "Oh, did you spend all day scrolling on TikTok? Or did you like spend your time curating an algorithm blah blah blah." Okay, so I posted a video like that format and had this guy leave this comment "you stole this content, you need to credit the original creator." And then he tags this other creator who gives career advice. But, I made the trend. I literally posted it, May 5th, I mean, I'm really not mad. I have a couple accounts that steal all my ideas. Some literally word for word, but that's how TikTok works. I don't really care about getting credit. It's just funny when people get mad at me for not crediting somebody who, copied my thing.