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Mugging Unveils Long-Hidden Secret: “He Has Been Cheating On Me For Over 2 Years”
Everyone deserves some degree of privacy, even in a committed relationship.
While Reddit user EcstaticGarden9961 understands this, he decided to breach that of his boyfriend’s.
In a post on r/TwoHotTakes, the man explained that he wouldn’t have done this normally, but lately, he had this hunch that something was off. So, when an unusual opportunity presented itself and he gained access to his partner’s messages, he just couldn’t resist the temptation.
Now, he’s left grappling with the moral implications of his actions and the painful truth he uncovered.
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These men were living together, but it was as if they were having two different relationships
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One stayed at home and thought they were exclusive while the other traveled around the world and partied with others
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: EcstaticGarden9961
Image credits: Guillaume Issaly / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The mere fact that you want to go through your partner’s phone might already be a sign that something’s wrong
“[Digital snooping] says that you don’t trust that what your partner tells and shows you is who they really are,” psychologist Ryan Howes explains, “and that their true self is [instead] reflected in their communication and searches on their phone.”
Such secret surveillance can perpetuate even more secretive behavior in the relationship. But many still do.
According to a survey conducted by Secure Data Recovery, 66% of Americans admit to snooping through their current or ex- partner’s device.
And while about half (53%) report finding something incriminating or concerning, just a little over a third report not feeling any regret or remorse afterward.
Yes, “it could mean that you have tangible evidence that your partner is being deceptive,” Howes says. “Maybe there have been concrete examples of this from the past, or maybe you know they have a history of infidelity … You’re searching because you want confirmation that they are being deceitful or that they aren’t.”
However, it’s also possible our partner hasn’t done anything and we’re just paranoid.
“You bring an irrational fear into the relationship that they aren’t really honest and/or committed to you,” Howes adds. “If you don’t have any evidence to suggest otherwise, and you search anyway, you’re probably the one intruding on their privacy and doing damage to the relationship. Your fears may be more based in your self-esteem, your capacity for intimacy, or your history of being deceived in past relationships.”
Rather, we should think about why we’re feeling suspicious of our partner in the first place. Do they have a history of lying and cheating? Have they given you a reason to think they might be hiding something from you?
If so, we should instead try to bring up our worries in a mature, non-confrontational way. However, relationships can be messy, and there’s no one magical solution for every couple.
As his story went viral, the man joined the discussion in its comment section
What do you think ?
Jason K 11 hours ago
This is a major issue in all relationships, but particularly problematic among gay men. Over half of gay men in a committed relationships admit to cheating on their significant other. The reality is, this is the norm rather than the exception. There are some interesting articles on gay men flight attendants, with many picking that career for the potential for hookups around the world.
ॐBoyGanesh 10 hours ago (edited)
As a very queer gold star gay I upvote you, too. For anyone interested on why this type of infidelity is particular to gay men and the delayed experiences they’ve had to have, largely due to being constantly having to repeatedly out themselves and not always allowed to be their authentic selves in a world that rarely validates their desires/relationships, etc., there’s a wonderful book. It’s written specifically for gay men, but I feel it’s the most important read for any ally. It’s called The Velvet Rage by Alan Downs.
Load More Replies...
Scott Rackley 11 hours ago
Flight attendants get around. I had a cousin who was one, some of the stories she told me, damn.
Jason K 11 hours ago
This is a major issue in all relationships, but particularly problematic among gay men. Over half of gay men in a committed relationships admit to cheating on their significant other. The reality is, this is the norm rather than the exception. There are some interesting articles on gay men flight attendants, with many picking that career for the potential for hookups around the world.
ॐBoyGanesh 10 hours ago (edited)
As a very queer gold star gay I upvote you, too. For anyone interested on why this type of infidelity is particular to gay men and the delayed experiences they’ve had to have, largely due to being constantly having to repeatedly out themselves and not always allowed to be their authentic selves in a world that rarely validates their desires/relationships, etc., there’s a wonderful book. It’s written specifically for gay men, but I feel it’s the most important read for any ally. It’s called The Velvet Rage by Alan Downs.
Load More Replies... Scott Rackley 11 hours ago
Flight attendants get around. I had a cousin who was one, some of the stories she told me, damn.
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