SIX YEARS !!!!! Leading someone on or withholding information that was wholly relevant, given his expression of desire to have kids, is more than a grace period to figure out how to broach the subject. Not being forthcoming upon the proposal is no better than outright lying. Which this woman did, anyway. The wheels of diabolical manipulation have been spinning for quite some time. I hate to be the one to bring up gender division, but had they been reversed it would have been a “girls’ girl” looking out for her fellow sister. This guy had been in OPs life for 6 years, so they were friendly acquaintances, at least. Which isn’t even a bare minimum for getting someone’s back. You don’t knowingly allow people to get f****d over by dishonestly & wit holding. No matter who the person doing it is.

Sounds like they did the right thing. The right choice isn’t always the one that makes everyone like you.

6 years with someone who openly and publicly displays his wishes and dreams of having children and you say nothing about being infertile? The brother heard enough to feel bad for the guy clearly not knowing...yet the fiance, the one who claims to love him was OK with lying. Imagine all the sexy nights of pillow talk, the intimate evenings discussing their future and she never once owns up that his dreams are not viable and they will need either a surrogate or adoption. He deserves better. If she had been honest from the start, I have no doubt he would have looked at all the alternatives,aka. He can still be a biological father via surrogacy,as a prime example. Six years could have included a plan to make his dream come true and stay with the woman he loves. But instead he finds out she is a liar and has lied for 6 years.....

Maybe it wasn't OP's place to say but Adam definitely had a right to know, the outcome shows this was likely a huge deal breaker for him. If the situation was reversed and Adam was the one that was infertile, the YTA crowd would probably be the first to roast him for lying to Emma.

I was in a similar situation as the sister- I had a serious illness that nearly killed me when I was in my early 20s- complications from that meant essentially I'm infertile. If somehow I even managed to conceive, I probably wouldn't carry a child to term. My best path to being a parent would either be to be involved with someone who already has children or to adopt. It's not a difficult subject to broach at all, at least it wasn't for me. With everyone I've dated, kids have come up pretty early in the conversation (you know, the whole "what are you looking for in a relationship" conversation). It was pretty easy to say, "this happened to me and so this is how it's going to be". Or even before the subject has come up, just in casual conversation, I've made comments about it. It's very easy to not lie.

Why would you want to marry someone you couldn't talk to about your health? What is wrong with her? Whatever it is, glad the fiancé found out now that she's a manipulative snake who thinks so little of him that she won't share basic facts about her life with him under the pretext that he's so shallow he wouldn't marry an infertile woman.

I'm confused by the 'not your secret to tell' thing as OP had every reason to believe it was not a secret and was even tactful to only include parties they had reasonable expectations of being in the know. Sounds like sister was just leading on the fiancé and hoping he would give up after they tried for a while.

As someone who cant have kids, he is NTA. We found out after we were married and several miscarriages. It was the beginning of the end. I dont blame my ex ( he was adopted and it was not good ). OP should respond with " but sis, you said he knew and was fine. I would have never said anything otherwise". All those " but there are ways now" people are missing the point. She lied about something major. If she had told fiance " i might not be able but we can see" would have been different.

Sis had 6 years to come clean. Maybe it wasn't OP's "place" but at that point Adam deserved to know

It's not OPs secret to tell, but it's absolutely astounding that she hasn't told him in six years and had no intention of doing so before the wedding. She's done this to herself and people on her side saying "you should have kept your nose out of Their business" what do they think was going to happen when he found out AFTER the wedding??? A messy divorce that's what! She should have gave him the vital information so he could make a decision about what happens next, then discuss the implications and what they can do because she can't have children. But no, she's lied massively and instead of being sorry, she using her anger to blame someone else. Every family member knew that she couldn't have kids, but watched and listened to him adoringly talk about having kids knowing that she couldn't? You're AHs too! This was NEVER going to be anything but messy and heartbreaking for one, but could have been very different had she disclosed the truth early on. NTA OP

Ugh. The whole "not his secret to tell" rational feels so problematic and enabling. It's just an excuse to try to detach ourselves from our complicity in behaviour we know to be unacceptable and bad. Secrets that are deeply harmful to others and will continue to be should never be kept "secret" and SHOULD be called out. We teach this to children FFS. "Yeah, I knew he was peeping in windows at night but it wasn't my secret to tell" "I knew she had a gambling problem and was blowing through their life savings fast, but it wasn't my secret to tell" "I knew she hated his twin daughters and planned to ship them off to boarding school, but it wasn't my secret to tell." "I knew he was having affairs, but it wasn't my secret to tell."

I had to have a hysterectomy at age 25, after having my daughter, or bleed to death. I have always been very upfront about telling men I dated that I could not have children. Many ran away afterwards. Some accepted it and later changed their minds stating they DID want bio children and hurried to have affairs. I think it's only fair to tell someone a hard truth initially rather than later I also feel that if the other person LOVES them, they can and will accept that, and plan for children in alternative manner. I also think that once accepted, they do NOT get to drop the person if they change their minds. That when THEY need to be honest and deal with the situation THEY chose rather than cheat, blame, and bully with guilt.

6 years is a very long time to omit this huge thing. And to expect everyone else to lie while denying him the life he wants to live is not cool. Sure, the brother might have broached it differently but ultimately he did the right thing, imo.

So many are focused on this not being OP's secret to share. I rather think it wasn't the sister's secret to keep. She lost that right when she spent 6 years lying to Adam and didn't come clean when he proposed. I hope Adam finds someone who's honest and sister gets the help she needs. I wonder if this is some serious denial mixed with duplicity and magical thinking on the sister's side.

As a woman with fertility issues I know how important it is to have that conversation, I've had relationships end because they wanted biological children I could not offer. She fully intended to try to keep it a secret and play it off as being unable to conceive until she convinced him to adopt. She should have told him years ago and she lost that chance it was now up to those around them to inform her fiance of the lie.

So evenly split in the polls this time!

I agree with the "ultimatum" people. He should have told the fiancee, but should have given his sister the opportunity first. As for the "not your business people" What sort of sociopaths are they? What next "yes, you sister is cheating on her fiancée, but you're a AH for telling him"? Or maybe he should also be quiet if his sister is abusing her fiancée? As for "they could still have biological children"? Based on the story, the sister's operation would preclude anything that exists in modern technology. Idjits.

Regardless of situation her brother had no business outing her and he's definitely an asshöle

Sounds like a lot of horrible people that also are on the low end of the intelligence spectrum

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After OP let the cat out of the bag he figures out it wasn't his place to say anything.

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Both sisters are AH’s. One for misleading her husband and the other for meddling. OP could have had a proper intervention with her sister first, motivate her to come clean.

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This was not your tale to tell, brother.