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Family Pushes Son To Have Kids To Carry On Their Name, He Plans A Surprise They Won’t Like
Family Pushes Son To Have Kids To Carry On Their Name, He Plans A Surprise They Won’t Like
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Family Pushes Son To Have Kids To Carry On Their Name, He Plans A Surprise They Won’t Like

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When two people get together, more often than not, they have to deal with each other’s families. Those families can be loving and respectful and support their children in their decisions. In those cases, the in-law relationships flourish.

However, sometimes people encounter families that are a bit too much. The extremes reach completely opposite ends with parents that are too distant, dismissive, and careless or way too involved, restrictive, and demanding. All of those couples have quite a bit to manage together.

This seems to be the case with the protagonists of this story shared on the subreddit Petty Revenge. The family of one of them has been bothering the couple about having children. Their persistent pushing has been so annoying, the couple decided to do something about it. Scroll down to read what happened.

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    Having children is a big decision that couples should be freely making by themselves

    Image credits: J carter (not the actual photo)

    However, some in-laws like to put additional pressure on them, just like it happened with this couple

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    Image credits: Yaroslav Shuraev (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Meetmebythebeans

    Image credits: wendel moretti (not the actual photo)

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    Taking the husband’s family name when getting married  is very popular in the US

    The decision to take the wife’s name is quite unusual, especially when you consider the traditions of the English-speaking world. Taking the husband’s last name is very prevalent there. So much so that in the 2010s, only 22% of women in the US kept their maiden names after marriage.

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    The reasoning behind the change often relates to tradition and wanting to create a cohesive family unit. A lot of the time, having the same surname also makes paperwork easier, the bureaucracy being especially complicated when it comes to children.

    Image credits: Alena Darmel (not the actual photo)

    In general, changing the family name is not a common occurrence everywhere

    However, the name-changing tradition is quite foreign in many other countries, some of which even prohibit doing so after marriage. For example, in France, the only legally recognized name you can have is the one that is on your birth certificate. Couples can still use their spouse’s name colloquially and in social settings, but not in any official paperwork. Similar laws forbidding taking on your spouse’s name are in place in Belgium, The Netherlands, and Italy.

    The reasons for keeping the names are quite simple and often not even political. Many just want to keep their identity and avoid paperwork. With a lot of people getting married later in life, it often means that they’ve already lived with the name long enough for it to be a part of them. In addition, many already have established careers and they don’t want their professional life to suffer because of surname confusion.

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    Image credits: Andre Furtado (not the actual photo)

    The decision should suit the couple before anyone else

    Taking on the wife’s name is probably the most misunderstood choice of them all. According to HuffPost’s survey, the majority of people think it’s at least a little odd. Mostly, because people are socialized from a young age to expect for the woman to change her name upon marriage.

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    When it comes to couples picking the wife’s name over the husband’s, the reasons are often also often practical. Sometimes it’s related to children, other times it has to do with family and how close or distant the partner is to them. Often the wife’s name simply sounds better.

    Many come to the decision of taking the wife’s surname after discussing what works best for both partners. Which is, in general, the best way to approach the matter for anybody. So, if you are about to get married, don’t take anyone’s name for granted and have an open-minded conversation instead.

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    The story garnered a lot of positive reactions and suggestions. The protagonist responded to them, sharing a few more insights into her situation

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    Agne Steponaityte

    Agne Steponaityte

    Writer, Community member

    Read more »

    Agne Steponaityte is a writer at Bored Panda. After getting a BA Film Production degree in England, Agne moved around Europe living and writing in Lithuania, Belgium, and Portugal. Now, together with her partner and daughter, she is residing in Munich, Germany. Her favourite book is East of Eden, favourite movie – There Will Be Blood, favourite show – Succession.

    Read less »
    Agne Steponaityte

    Agne Steponaityte

    Writer, Community member

    Agne Steponaityte is a writer at Bored Panda. After getting a BA Film Production degree in England, Agne moved around Europe living and writing in Lithuania, Belgium, and Portugal. Now, together with her partner and daughter, she is residing in Munich, Germany. Her favourite book is East of Eden, favourite movie – There Will Be Blood, favourite show – Succession.

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

    Read less »

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

    What do you think ?
    Lorrie Rothstein
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The in laws are assuming the biological child will be a boy

    E V
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jokes on them if it's girls who change their last name anyway. Or their grandson changes or doesn't have kids either. Lol

    Load More Replies...
    Carole G.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not their lives, not their business. You two do you. I was adopted & had a great life. If you adopt Thank You in advance.

    R Dennis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can understand the family's sadness... as I get older, I feel like I will eventually disappear. My daughter is still young, but says she doesn't want kids. I am okay with it - not that she needs my permission. But none of my siblings have children and I know they get melancholy about being "a dead end". (Their words individually, not mine.) That said, they need to accept their children's choice and live with it otherwise they are just ruining the family they do have.

    Nykky
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Enjoy the time you do have. That's all you can do

    Load More Replies...
    GadgetGirl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, so many comments saying "but you could do this thing to still have kids". OP said they don't want kids. Full stop. "Maaaaybe adoption later" sounds like placating people who want them to have kids.

    Sir Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    just to seal the deal even more vasectomy and hysterectomy/tubal ligation too. Just to really let them know.

    megabeth
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She should have her breasts surgically removed to prove what exactly?

    Load More Replies...
    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was divorced, I went back to my maiden name for various reasons. When my daughter and son were eventually divorced, they each chose to change to my maiden name rather than the name of their always absent father's name. I found that interesting. Only my oldest son has kept his father's name, though.

    Rick Seiden
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've got two nieces, a sister (not the nieces' mom) and two cousins all adopted. They are no less part of my family than anyone else. I hope that OP goes no contact with her in-laws before they adopt, because those in-laws will always look down on their grandchild(children) and those poor kids will know it.

    Jared Robinson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is beautiful. Hoping you can give babies new last names and they don't have to have yours. I hate my family name.

    Nerenahd Dhaneren
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I gave my kids my mother's last name.My father was a bit upset, but I said: dude, it's just a name, 1/4 of their DNA is you, so chill.

    Load More Replies...
    Jedimstr1
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First off, I'd tell them to have more kids themselves if they want the name to go on. 2nd I'd tell them to f*** off if I don't want kids, then that is that (the more they pressure, the more resolute I get) 3rd it's not up to them, this is my life and I live it AS I SEE FIT. Finally, if they choose to keep asking, I will tell them that not only will I tell them one last time, they will not hear from me for a very long time.

    michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s not like they are the only people in the world from that lineage for crying out loud

    Load More Comments
    Lorrie Rothstein
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The in laws are assuming the biological child will be a boy

    E V
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jokes on them if it's girls who change their last name anyway. Or their grandson changes or doesn't have kids either. Lol

    Load More Replies...
    Carole G.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not their lives, not their business. You two do you. I was adopted & had a great life. If you adopt Thank You in advance.

    R Dennis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can understand the family's sadness... as I get older, I feel like I will eventually disappear. My daughter is still young, but says she doesn't want kids. I am okay with it - not that she needs my permission. But none of my siblings have children and I know they get melancholy about being "a dead end". (Their words individually, not mine.) That said, they need to accept their children's choice and live with it otherwise they are just ruining the family they do have.

    Nykky
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Enjoy the time you do have. That's all you can do

    Load More Replies...
    GadgetGirl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, so many comments saying "but you could do this thing to still have kids". OP said they don't want kids. Full stop. "Maaaaybe adoption later" sounds like placating people who want them to have kids.

    Sir Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    just to seal the deal even more vasectomy and hysterectomy/tubal ligation too. Just to really let them know.

    megabeth
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She should have her breasts surgically removed to prove what exactly?

    Load More Replies...
    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was divorced, I went back to my maiden name for various reasons. When my daughter and son were eventually divorced, they each chose to change to my maiden name rather than the name of their always absent father's name. I found that interesting. Only my oldest son has kept his father's name, though.

    Rick Seiden
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've got two nieces, a sister (not the nieces' mom) and two cousins all adopted. They are no less part of my family than anyone else. I hope that OP goes no contact with her in-laws before they adopt, because those in-laws will always look down on their grandchild(children) and those poor kids will know it.

    Jared Robinson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is beautiful. Hoping you can give babies new last names and they don't have to have yours. I hate my family name.

    Nerenahd Dhaneren
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I gave my kids my mother's last name.My father was a bit upset, but I said: dude, it's just a name, 1/4 of their DNA is you, so chill.

    Load More Replies...
    Jedimstr1
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First off, I'd tell them to have more kids themselves if they want the name to go on. 2nd I'd tell them to f*** off if I don't want kids, then that is that (the more they pressure, the more resolute I get) 3rd it's not up to them, this is my life and I live it AS I SEE FIT. Finally, if they choose to keep asking, I will tell them that not only will I tell them one last time, they will not hear from me for a very long time.

    michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s not like they are the only people in the world from that lineage for crying out loud

    Load More Comments
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