Life with kids usually means there’s quite a lot of commotion and running around. And unsurprisingly, some children wander off to places they shouldn’t be, which can lead to some unpleasant situations.

Redditor u/buizel123 told the AITA community about the encounter he had with a parent whose child crawled under his table in a restaurant. The OP’s reaction to the kid angered the parent, who came to scold the man about it and called him a jerk. The situation split the online community into two camps, the majority siding with the redditor nevertheless.

It’s a parent’s responsibility to stop their child from wandering off to places they shouldn’t be in

Image credits: ASphotostudio (not the actual photo)

Someone else’s kid was crawling under this man’s table while he was having dinner at a restaurant

Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)

Image credits: buizel123

Being in a public place doesn’t mean the parent can count on the public to take responsibility for their child

Being in a bustling public place with kids might not be easy for the parents nor for the strangers around them. The little explorers are fueled by curiosity and the abundance of distractions in the environment, which is one of the reasons they tend to run off. When they do, it’s a parent’s responsibility to make sure they’re safe and, preferably, not interfering in someone else’s activities.

While some bystanders don’t mind someone’s four-year-old catching up with what they’ve been up to, others might not be equally as excited about it. The OP wasn’t too happy about someone else’s kid crawling under his table while he was trying to enjoy a dinner with his friend. When the situation escalated, the parent felt the guy was in the wrong for yelling at the kid, turning a blind eye to the fact that the kid shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

Some people feel entitled to others watching over their children. They might expect that because their offspring is little, others will try to make sure they’re safe and sound everywhere they go. However, parents and guardians should be the ones bearing responsibility for their kids unless they’re staying with someone who has agreed to watch over them. Agreeing to look after a child, which entails taking the responsibility, is way different from having to deal with a tiny human that presented themselves in front of you out of nowhere.

Image credits: Gültac Əşrəfli (not the actual photo)

There are some steps parents can take that help teach children proper behavior in public

Teaching a child to behave in public is a difficult task. That is why Boys Town Pediatrics suggested that it’s worth practicing at home before going out in public. Starting with a familiar place can make it easier to apply the same rules elsewhere, where the number of all sorts of distractions is typically way higher.

Boys Town Pediatrics also pointed out that one of the ways to encourage proper behavior is setting clear expectations and praising the child for following them. It’s beneficial to let the child know what’s expected of them in a certain environment (going to a restaurant, for instance, might have slightly different expectations from going grocery shopping), and letting them know that they’re doing a good job when they are.

In an article for Psychology Today, developmental psychologist and expert in children’s behavior and parenting, Nancy S. Buck, PhD, also emphasized the importance of setting clear-cut expectations to young children; it is one of her seven success strategies for taking your kids out in public. The other ones include planning for the outing and including something fun or enjoyable in the plan, as well as reviewing the pre-discussed rules before entering the premises of the public place.

The parenting expert also suggested asking the child if they think they can follow the rules that day before entering the place. She pointed out that it’s likely the most important step, as if the kid says they’re not in the mood to behave, it’s best to cancel the mission and put a raincheck on the activity. Other strategies involve asking if the offspring remembers the plan if they start misbehaving all of a sudden, and self-evaluating the way both sides stuck to the plan.

These rules apply to taking the kids to a restaurant as well, as they can help manage the little ones easier and avoid them wandering off or disturbing others. And that would allow people to avoid situations similar to the one the OP shared in his story.

Image credits: Francesca Cinel (not the actual photo)

The majority of the redditors in the comments were on the OP’s side

Some thought both sides were at fault in the situation

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