
Man Teaches Entitled Mom A Lesson That Having Kids Doesn’t Automatically Grant Her PTO Whenever
There’s no question that being a working parent is difficult. Juggling your children’s school and extracurricular schedules with deadlines at work while trying to maintain a strong relationship with your partner can be overwhelming. But the truth is, even people who don’t have kids can still be extremely busy and are equally entitled to time off from work.
One man recently reached out to Reddit detailing how he was pressured to swap vacation days with a colleague because she’s a parent and he’s not. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
This man was thrilled about the trip that he booked months ago
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But now, he’s facing immense pressure to swap vacation days with a colleague just because she has children
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ZooterBobSquareCock
Image credits: Yan Krukau / Pexels (not the actual photo)
74% of employees believe that parents are treated better than childfree adults in the workplace
Despite all of the talk about declining birth rates that we’ve heard in recent years, having children is still the norm in a lot of places. A Gallup report from 2023 found that 69% of adults in the United States had kids, and 15% didn’t have any yet but planned to in the future. In fact, only 8% of adults had no interest in ever becoming parents.
And when it comes to raising kids nowadays, it is important for parents to have ample support. We all know “it takes a village,” which means moms and dads shouldn’t be expected to do it alone. Parents deserve to have access to paid maternity and paternity leave, affordable childcare, reasonable medical bills, etc. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that parents should be the only ones getting support.
Because it’s still not the norm to be childfree, many adults without kids report feeling overlooked and undervalued in many aspects of their lives. And one place where this is particularly prevalent is at work.
A survey from ResumeLab found that a whopping 72% of employees have noticed childfree workers being treated unfairly simply because they don’t have kids. And 74% of workers believe that parents are treated better in the workplace than childfree adults.
Some examples of this include being denied time off, which 63% of childfree workers have experienced, and being required to work overtime, which over two thirds of childfree workers have experienced. 70% of workers without kids also say they’ve been given a greater workload than their colleagues that are parents at least once. And 85% of survey respondents said parents get priority when planning vacation days.
Image credits: Mateusz Dach / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Everyone is entitled to vacation days, whether they have kids or not
This often happens because employers assume that it’s not a big deal if people who aren’t parents have to stay late or move their vacation days, because they don’t have children waiting for them at home. And why would they need specific days off if they don’t have to plan around their children’s schedules? This issue is particularly prevalent when it comes to holidays, as parents are rarely forced to work on Christmas yet childfree employees are usually expected to.
But everyone is entitled to time off from work, and it’s unfair to deny anyone days off, whether they are requesting them to hang out with their kids or relax on the couch with their cat. Everyday Health notes that taking vacations can be crucial for employees’ physical and mental health.
Taking time off might lower your risk of heart disease, reduce stress and anxiety, reduce depression, improve productivity and increase your overall life satisfaction.
One study even found that a vacation lasting only four or five days had a positive impact on participants’ self-reported health and wellness after they returned home, especially when they were completely detached from work during that time. Meanwhile, those who still did some work during their vacation reported worse health and wellness after their trip.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this man was right to stand his ground and refuse to move his vacation? Feel free to weigh in. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar workplace drama right here.
Many readers took the author’s side, assuring him that he’s under no obligation to change his plans
However, a small minority didn’t like how he handled the situation
Poll Question
How do you feel about Lisa's reaction to her coworker's refusal to swap vacation dates?
Understandable, she's under pressure as a parent.
Overreacting, as she should have planned earlier.
It's a normal workplace conflict, nothing unusual.
She should have communicated better.
YTAs are at it again! Whoa, big surprise there. OP wasn't in the least bit rude. At my last job I was asked to come in on a Saturday to take care of some things because "you don't have a family." No, I have neither husband no kids. I do have a mom I spent a lot of time with. I do have things I do for fun and relaxation. I did not come in.
For crying out loud! If you have kids, they are YOUR kids and YOUR responsibility, not anyone else's. If you feel you have to mention that having kids is hard, then why did you have them? Having kids is hard if you don't plan accordingly. Your lack of planning doesn't constitute an obligation on my part. It doesn't take a village: it takes two parents who take responsibility for a situation they chose to be in
Yes, I've known plenty of single parents who plan better than Lisa. You have to plan ahead especially as a single parent. Who was going to watch her children during that school break? Oh nobody...because she didn't plan ahead and now she's gotta scramble and convince someone else it's their problem?
Maybe Lisa should have checked the school calendar at the beginning of the year. It's not like they just spring a school break on you. She had as much of an opportunity to request that time off as he did. I wonder what she'd say if he told her she could have it as long as she reimburses him for those non refundable tickets. Is he supposed to lose thousands of dollars because she didn't think ahead?
Ask her to pay for all your vacation costs and then maybe you’ll think about it.
"you don't understand what it's like to raise kids" HAH!!! Well mam, YOU don't seem to understand that your kids are YOUR responsibility and your lack of planning is as well. Gosh, childless me had similar discussions so often with colleagues and the entitlement always baffled me. I'm so glad I'm retired now and don't have to deal with this anymore...
F**k off YTAs - her kids, her problem. "Must be nice" - yes, it jolly well is which is why we do not have kids. To have the flexibility. We put the FLEX in flexibility, in fact.
Same happened to me in a job..I always accommodate for the workers with children. Sickness, doctors Holidays Xmas New year. I ate up all the bad shifts. One time my GF flew in from Italy as a suprise for my Birthday. I needed one shift changed from a week day to a Saturday and then all refused with petty excuses. Not smart on their part because I did the shift rota. Learnt my lesson.
Getting the cold shoulder from her sounds like the absolute best case scenario. But let her know that she can be more organised and book time off earlier. School calendars aren't a last minute surprise.
😶 The cheek of her... The Feel-Entitled Parent/s are the worst.
When did "be more understanding" become "do what they want you to do"
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
If that "cold shoulder" is in ANY way affecting your work or team morale, you immediately email manager and an HR rep with all details. Period. Temper tantrums in the workplace should not be tolerated.
Hear hear. She asked, he said no. End of. Sulking about it is petty, childish and won't change a thing. He even said sorry and explained why and it wasn't until she got snotty with him that he pointed out that his time is no less valuable, so the YTAs can get in the bin! He doesn't have to be understanding - it's literally nothing to do with him whatsoever. Her mistake not to put in for time-off the minute the school publishes the holiday dates.
For 20 years I was splitting my vacation days in 2 groups: last 15 days of March and first 15 days of September. Thus I was avoiding conflict with a colleague, avoiding the crowds and obtaining better prices. Only once the pic in the office asked me to change this, to accommodate another colleague. I replied with just a hard look and she left me alone.
"You don't know what it's like to be a parent"?!?!? Thank the gods! Because if I acted like her or the YTA trolls I'd think back and say "someone please kick my a*s because I am being so very unreasonable! Just because I don't have kids, it doesn't mean I'm wasting my time. OP has legit reasons to go on a vacation and lady let me tell you, your kids mean absolutely squat!
I hate that argument that people without kids are not as important. I a have a kid and like a responsible adult knew what I was signing up for. If I forget something time wise, it is my fault and no one else's. I have to eat the consequences of my stupidity. My time is no more valuable than any one else's.
OP made a tactical mistake by saying he doesn't *want* to change his plans. That left a door open for further "negotiation" and the co-worker attempted to go through it.
In my country we say "nadie te mandó" meaning "No one forced you", meaning, the guy didn't force her to get married and have a bunch of children, meaning is not the guy's fault she's tied down for time.
I don't have children. Yet my taxes help pay for your children's education. You're already one up on me, don't ask for more.
I love how people think if you don't have kids you just have loads of free time and zero responsibility.
Someone else's planning failure is NOT my emergency. NTA, all day long.
"A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."
YTAs are at it again! Whoa, big surprise there. OP wasn't in the least bit rude. At my last job I was asked to come in on a Saturday to take care of some things because "you don't have a family." No, I have neither husband no kids. I do have a mom I spent a lot of time with. I do have things I do for fun and relaxation. I did not come in.
For crying out loud! If you have kids, they are YOUR kids and YOUR responsibility, not anyone else's. If you feel you have to mention that having kids is hard, then why did you have them? Having kids is hard if you don't plan accordingly. Your lack of planning doesn't constitute an obligation on my part. It doesn't take a village: it takes two parents who take responsibility for a situation they chose to be in
Yes, I've known plenty of single parents who plan better than Lisa. You have to plan ahead especially as a single parent. Who was going to watch her children during that school break? Oh nobody...because she didn't plan ahead and now she's gotta scramble and convince someone else it's their problem?
Maybe Lisa should have checked the school calendar at the beginning of the year. It's not like they just spring a school break on you. She had as much of an opportunity to request that time off as he did. I wonder what she'd say if he told her she could have it as long as she reimburses him for those non refundable tickets. Is he supposed to lose thousands of dollars because she didn't think ahead?
Ask her to pay for all your vacation costs and then maybe you’ll think about it.
"you don't understand what it's like to raise kids" HAH!!! Well mam, YOU don't seem to understand that your kids are YOUR responsibility and your lack of planning is as well. Gosh, childless me had similar discussions so often with colleagues and the entitlement always baffled me. I'm so glad I'm retired now and don't have to deal with this anymore...
F**k off YTAs - her kids, her problem. "Must be nice" - yes, it jolly well is which is why we do not have kids. To have the flexibility. We put the FLEX in flexibility, in fact.
Same happened to me in a job..I always accommodate for the workers with children. Sickness, doctors Holidays Xmas New year. I ate up all the bad shifts. One time my GF flew in from Italy as a suprise for my Birthday. I needed one shift changed from a week day to a Saturday and then all refused with petty excuses. Not smart on their part because I did the shift rota. Learnt my lesson.
Getting the cold shoulder from her sounds like the absolute best case scenario. But let her know that she can be more organised and book time off earlier. School calendars aren't a last minute surprise.
😶 The cheek of her... The Feel-Entitled Parent/s are the worst.
When did "be more understanding" become "do what they want you to do"
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
If that "cold shoulder" is in ANY way affecting your work or team morale, you immediately email manager and an HR rep with all details. Period. Temper tantrums in the workplace should not be tolerated.
Hear hear. She asked, he said no. End of. Sulking about it is petty, childish and won't change a thing. He even said sorry and explained why and it wasn't until she got snotty with him that he pointed out that his time is no less valuable, so the YTAs can get in the bin! He doesn't have to be understanding - it's literally nothing to do with him whatsoever. Her mistake not to put in for time-off the minute the school publishes the holiday dates.
For 20 years I was splitting my vacation days in 2 groups: last 15 days of March and first 15 days of September. Thus I was avoiding conflict with a colleague, avoiding the crowds and obtaining better prices. Only once the pic in the office asked me to change this, to accommodate another colleague. I replied with just a hard look and she left me alone.
"You don't know what it's like to be a parent"?!?!? Thank the gods! Because if I acted like her or the YTA trolls I'd think back and say "someone please kick my a*s because I am being so very unreasonable! Just because I don't have kids, it doesn't mean I'm wasting my time. OP has legit reasons to go on a vacation and lady let me tell you, your kids mean absolutely squat!
I hate that argument that people without kids are not as important. I a have a kid and like a responsible adult knew what I was signing up for. If I forget something time wise, it is my fault and no one else's. I have to eat the consequences of my stupidity. My time is no more valuable than any one else's.
OP made a tactical mistake by saying he doesn't *want* to change his plans. That left a door open for further "negotiation" and the co-worker attempted to go through it.
In my country we say "nadie te mandó" meaning "No one forced you", meaning, the guy didn't force her to get married and have a bunch of children, meaning is not the guy's fault she's tied down for time.
I don't have children. Yet my taxes help pay for your children's education. You're already one up on me, don't ask for more.
I love how people think if you don't have kids you just have loads of free time and zero responsibility.
Someone else's planning failure is NOT my emergency. NTA, all day long.
"A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."
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