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Guy Shares His Reasoning Behind Refusing To Give A Pregnant Lady His Bus Seat, People Are Not Convinced
There are some things that most of us do without thinking because they seem like common sense. If you see someone struggling to carry their groceries or having a hard time crossing a busy street, you help them out. Someone falls down? You give them a helping hand and get them back on their feet.
So it only seems natural that when you see a pregnant woman on public transportation that you get up and offer her your seat. It’s the polite thing to do after all. Especially if she asks. Unfortunately, it seems like proper manners weren’t drilled into everyone.
One man took to the r/AITA subreddit to find out whether or not he was a jerk for refusing to give his seat to a “heavily pregnant lady” because he was exhausted from work. He didn’t get up even when she directly asked to have his seat. Check out the full story below.
A redditor shocked the internet with their story about why they refused to give up their bus seat to a pregnant woman
Image credits: Sharkshock (not the actual photo)
Image credits: myfeetf**kinghurt
The Reddit community was almost unanimous: this guy was a huge jerk and he was clearly in the wrong. I mean, there’s no real way around it, the guy was so wrong, it actually hurt our inner moral compasses a bit. And as a guy with three siblings, I’m appalled.
But as much fun as it is to judge someone, don’t forget that being exhausted day-in and day-out shifts our judgment. What seems immoral to someone who’s well-rested might seem like no big deal for someone else who’s so tired, they can’t think straight. It’s not an excuse to act like a big [whoops, can’t use those words here] to other members of your local community, however.
Being tired is no excuse to let your morals go
“I was tired and had a long day, and I don’t know why we need to keep perpetuating the idea that breeding somehow means your entitled to people’s seats. I’m tired, too, we’re all tired in this pandemic,” the redditor wrote in their story, showing his contempt for people who choose to have families.
What’s more, the redditor suggested that everyone’s exhausted during the pandemic and everyone deserves a break. True, but that’s what separates good people from the rest: the former go the extra mile to help others in need, the latter are content to be bystanders.
You might not get a gold medal, a standing ovation from the public, or a superhero’s cape for lending someone a hand, but you’ll be an actual everyday hero.
The situation was perfect for the redditor to help a person in need, as well as learn a lesson about how they can do the right thing even after a 10-hour shift at work on their feet. But they wasted the opportunity to prove that they’re better than they thought they were. Nobody’s forced to give up their seat for a pregnant woman, but it’s a sign that something’s probably off with your values if you choose not to.
So instead of leaving a good impression for everyone on the bus, the redditor drew their ire. What’s more, they got a good talking-to from their family members once they got back home.
Giving up your seat isn’t just about being ‘nice’
There are plenty of reasons to give up your seat to a pregnant woman besides being an upright member of society who thinks about more than just themselves, however. The Alpha Parent writes that pregnant women can experience back pain, especially as they’re getting closer to delivery. The pain can reach the legs, so having a place to sit down is a godsend.
What’s more, standing still for longer periods of time (like during a ride on public transportation) can be dangerous. “When standing, a pregnant woman’s heart rate increases, cardiac output decreases, and blood pressure falls. When the woman then takes a sitting position, her heart rate, cardiac output, and blood pressure returned to normal.”
Furthermore, nausea, fatigue, weak joints, and the need to urinate frequently (an urge that increases while standing because gravity pulls the baby into the mother’s bladder) are all reasons why grabbing a seat on the bus is vital. And, in our humble opinions, these reasons trump someone’s physical exhaustion from 10-hour shifts.
It’s rare to see the internet so united. Like you could’ve expected, people were roiling with anger
What do you think of the situation, dear Pandas? Do you think that the redditor was definitely in the wrong like most internet users did or would you give him a pass because he was tired from work? When’s the last time you gave up your seat to someone in need or helped a complete stranger? Let us know in the comments below.
What do you think ?
Carol Emory 3 years ago
I think it's unfair to single this guy out as the asshole when any person could have offered their seat. Why does it fall on the guys to be chivalrous in this kind of situation. You can't tell me that there wasn't one single non-pregnant woman that could have offered her seat too? And I understand about how much pain he was in..I've been there too where your feet hurt so bad that they start cramping up on you. Is he an a-hole...for bringing up how the pregnancy is not his fault...yeah. For not giving up his seat...I'm inclined to say he wasn't the only one on that bus.
Brandy Grote 3 years ago
He was the closest to the door, apparently. He clearly said "but he can deal". He was tired, not disabled or injured or AT RISK OF FALLING.
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MRSS 3 years ago
Ok so I am on the fence with this so please just hear me out first. While myself personally I would have given up my seat for a pregnant woman as well as a elderly person and someone who is handicapped. I do understand this Mans thought as well. I work on my feet and have a physical job of lifting heavy car and truck parts and am at work 13hrs a day. I am fried and my feet and back kill. There were others on the bus who could have moved as well. Again, I would have moved regardless but don't pin it all on this Guy.
June 3 years ago
He could have begin with "please could you ask someone else?" maybe?
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JamezyJamez 3 years ago
This is a great debate topic I can use with my students. I'm a teacher in Japan and I teach jr high and high school students English debate. In Japan we have designated seats for the elderly, disabled and pregnant. Those seats are rarely occupied by others unless the train car is relatively empty and such folks aren't needing them. There isn't a culture of men giving up something for women here, but a huge reverence for the elderly. I found myself conflicted after reading this; I wasn't ready to pounce on the tired dude after his shift, though the way he described the pregnant woman was callous and undermined his argument. In any case, this would be an interesting case study to bring to my students. A learning experience is better than trading barbs online.
Evil Little Thing 3 years ago
In the US we have those seats too, and the fact that she was asking this one dude to get up instead of anyone else suggests that he was sitting there.
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Sum Guy 3 years ago
I'm with the guy on this... I might not agree with the wording of other things, This should have ended with the No and either she try someone else or stand. Sure it would have been nice for this guy to stand up, but she isn't entitled to the seat unless it's a marked priority seat.
Mimi777 3 years ago
True. I’ve been pregnant and had a really tough one and was miserable all the time especially when I had to walk or stand. I never felt right asking someone for their seat I didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to say yes. It was really nice if someone willingly got up and offered me their seat though.
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giovanna 3 years ago
It's not HER fault you decided to have a job where you have to stand for 10 hours and ALSO don't have the money to buy a new car straight after your old one.
Charlotte Dupre 3 years ago
So if no one is at fault it's first come first serve.
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Tabitha L 3 years ago
Agreed. She can ask. And he can say no. Both are fine. But yelling at someone for not giving up their seat is not OK.
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Freddie Saturn 3 years ago
He is not alone you know. Just unlucky for him sit next to her. I bet plenty of seats on the bus, just everybody just want to make him a scapegoat.
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 3 years ago
I agree. Every able bodied person around her is the AH. At least ONE of them should have let her have the seat. I bet those same people that do not care if she falls and loses the baby are pro life people that say no to women's choice of having an abortion, but could care less about them once they are born.
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Laura Craig 3 years ago
Why do people like this always talk like women magically get pregnant all by themselves. "It was HER choice to get pregnant". When I was pregnant it was with my long term partner of many years. All through my pregnancy I was preparing to be the stable nuclear family. Two months after I gave birth, he left me for the mistress I didn't know he had. I didn't CHOOSE to become a single mother. I didn't CHOOSE to be solely responsible for my child both emotionally and financially. I didn't CHOOSE any of that, but you know what, I dealt with it and raised a gorgeous, wonderful boy. We need to have some compassion for one another as a society. Otherwise, what are we doing?
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Laura, stop being a dumb liar. We women have had to fight for our right to choose. Barry is right, you think everything is about you. Like every other Becky / Karen. Super self centered and zero self awareness, talking about your weird little life and then demanding society give you more. Ew ew ew. You’re the kind of woman who has the right to choose and yet isn’t worthy of it. Just ready to throw all your power back into the hands of a man because you’re too feeble minded to control your own body. Gross, and you have kids. Vom. 🤢
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Lis A 3 years ago
YTA for the line about not being able too afford a car. Maybe she's using public transit as a green alternative.
Alexis draskinis 3 years ago
Or maybe her car met the same fate as his...
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Stille20 3 years ago
The idea that her getting an abortion is the simpler solution to you giving up your seat for 10 minutes just shows how self centered this person is. I get it, he is tired, and it is rude of this woman to presume, but when you refuse to give up a seat to someone who needs it more, expect scorn.
María Hermida 3 years ago
Who decides she needs it more? Why? Because she is pregnant? Or because she is a woman? Unless it is a priority seat, she had no right to that seat. True, it would be nice, but it's not compulsory, and the fact that she's quick to use her "single mother" status to gain an advantage is disgusting.
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arlene ng 3 years ago
It's the "breeding" for me. Could be a troll simply because of the fact that he's sharing it online, but as a pregnant woman I've seen people act that way ( it didn't bother me the least tbh)
Isabella 3 years ago
I call it breeding too. Humans are animals as any other, no superior at all. Oftentimes worse than earthworm. And yes, humans breed. If you are expecting and wanting the baby - you may want to call it otherways, but in biological terms and factual notes - breeding is correct form. Same as foetus, not a baby. And pregnant woman not mother.
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Rissie 3 years ago (edited)
Having to work and stand on your feet 10 hours a day and using public transport complemented with a nice brisk 20 minute walk is a choice too. According to American standards. Dude needs to realize her life is just as sucky as his and both are just living by the rules of society. He is the only one with an actual choice at that specific point in time and that's to be an asswhipe or to be a general nice person. He made clear what he is by even putting that reasoning out there. An egotistical self overrated individual. If the use of his car was really just an insurance payout away, giving up your seat once in public transport wouldn't be a problem. Forker :)
Frank Ropen 3 years ago
Sure because we all could freely decide which jobs we get.
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Kisses4Katie 3 years ago
What state is he in where abortions are free? I've never heard of one.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Me either! Maybe he means on a sliding scale? Or does Medicare offer misoprostol or whatever? Planned Parenthood in Maryland and Virginia charge based on income so technically I guess it could be free if you’re unemployed?
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Leo H 3 years ago
Ever notice they single out "a guy"...and not any other passanger..how do we know he isnt disabled or has a medical condition. Why isnt reddit karen giving up her seat?
Stille20 3 years ago
This guy would who gave us great detail about his day and pain and why he was so tired would certainly have told us he had a disability.
Load More Replies... Sandra 3 years ago
There are a couple of conclusions 1. There were other people to give up their seat, not only him. 2.yes she was pregnant, you are tired and balance is bad, i am pregnant but i also know how it is to be exhausted after a day of work. 3. I dont like the way he presents on the pregnancy and choice, yes it is a choice to keep or not the baby. Her mother most likely had that choice as well, as long as u dont know what pregnancy feels like, try to empathise. 4 she can lose the pregnancy if she falls, if you fall u get a bruise. She falls, she ends up in the hospital.
Jackson Gohn 3 years ago
She asked. He said no. That should've been the end of the story. This is a free country and she and the old man we're out of line by expecting somebody to do something that they aren't required to do.
Ant Harris 3 years ago
Sorry but not sorry, going to be unpopular but tough. The guy is working hard and has politely explained yet the woman's entitlement is the problem here. It is part her choice. Being pregnant is a condition not an illness. If it was someone genuinely disabled or clearly old and in need then I would offer it and wouldn't even avoid it like this guy (he said he tried not to make eye contact). However, just because you are a single mum to be doesn't give you magic entitlement, morals are not universal nor are so called manors. In my country this woman and child are likely to be given a lot of money by the state that's not including the reduced healthcare and schooling. In other democratic capitalistic societies they wouldn't get the state support she and her child will, all paid for by this hard working man. Nah, sorry let the man rest, that's probably all she's done all day anyway.
Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago
i agree with you on this. she literally could have asked someone else
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Adam Francis 3 years ago
There's a lot of problems with this. We live in such a disconnected society. We're in this world together. We're responsible for other humans no matter what their circumstances or ours.
María Hermida 3 years ago
No. Sorry. That's not true. Do you give money or buy food to every homeless person you see? Do you donate money to the nearest soup kitchen? Do you volunteer to visit the lonely elderly in your neighbourhood? No? Then stop being hypocritical and stop that nonsense of "we are responsible for other humans". We are not, and nobody really cares. Including you.
Load More Replies... Solrac 3 years ago
1. A young man might need to be seated too, for example because of pain or tiredness. 2. There were other people there too. 3. He could have just said his feet hurt, because social pressure and comments can get nasty. 4. The whole breeding reasoning and comments are unnecessary. 5. This story seems fake.
Joe McRee 3 years ago (edited)
I'm sure she is in pain. But couldn't she wait like 5 minutes until someone got off the bus to take their seat. I don't blame this guy for not giving up his seat. I hate interacting with people irl. I would have just turned the other way and then it would be like a signal to her not to talk to me and go ask someone else.
EQXL 3 years ago
He's clearly a douche, but more upset about some things he's saying in his reasoning than actually not standing up. She could have asked somebody else as well and nobody stood up before she even asked him. And on the devils advocate part, what does feminism say? I know I now sound like a D**k, but we live in a world where people can also get offended when you (try/offer) help them. Are we in this case to assume a pregnant woman does need help?
Heather Williams 3 years ago
Any one of the people on the bus could have given up their seats, it does help if it is the closest seat to the door though. And if you are sitting in a disabled seat (some buses and trains have these) without a disability (visible or invisible) then you must give that seat up to someone who needs it. I have plantar fasciatis which causes serious (and sometimes excruciating) pain in my heels and is triggered by standing for long periods but when I took public transport I would always offer my seat to anybody that got on rather than just making a fuss about it.
Frankenfrog 3 years ago
Pregnancy doesn't entitle you to a damn thing. People need to get off their high horses.
Justin Marshall 3 years ago
Pregnancy is a choice and not a condition. Where's the sympthay for people with cancer and are too weak to stand? Where's the sympathy for people who had knee surgery and are in pain? Society expects everyone to bow to the whim and command of every Preggo just because "it's the decent thing to do". I will never give up my seat because someone is pregnant. I will always give it up for the disabled or elderly. As a friend once said regarding pregnant women on public transport: "She should have screwed someone with a car!"
Chordelia Marie 3 years ago
Honestly, if I was the dude I would have said no too. Is He an asshole i mean a little but so is the lady no one has to hive her their seat and it would be just as easy to be like oh ok and i dont know ask someone else.
Random Anon 3 years ago
I do not think the dude is an asshole. Giving up your seat or any sort of "courtesy" decisions is kind of like charity to me. You do or you don't, it's up to you and none of anyone's business why.
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 3 years ago
Sure, everyone has an equal right, or at least first come first serve. But it us up to each individual to decide if they want to help a fellow human being in need. Has no one ever helped you before?
Load More Replies... Lily Mac 3 years ago (edited)
It would be different if he had an invisible disability or something but he was just tired after work, welcome to the club mate. I'm on my feet for 8-10 hours in my place too and I know you should still give up your seat for someone who is pregnant. It's not that she's tired and uncomfortable it's that its literally more dangerous for someone who's pregnant to stand. He just sounds like a baby. Having said that, he's not the only AH in the situation because nobody offered their seat initially either.
peter howard 3 years ago
Why is everyone jumping to the tune of he told her to get an abortion when that isn't the case at all. It's idiots like you who convince yourselves of other people's wrong doings. Don't jump on the band wagon and think for yourself
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Because this is a collection of some of the dumbest liars on our side of the political spectrum. BP houses some of the dumbest people online who aren’t Republicans.
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Phoenix 3 years ago
Bit hard, if the guy was the only one targeted for not getting up it doesn’t make sense. I’m sure there were plenty of other people on that bus/train that could’ve given it up compared to him, who accordingly works like 10 hours a day on his feet. However it is simple courtesy to give up your seat to those with disadvantages. And yes it was her fault for getting pregnant, or not and just decided to keep the baby. But imagine when your mom was pregnant, would you want someone to give up their seat. Also sayings breeding is just wrong.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
This asshole also fails to understand that, once he’s home he’ll be off his feet and feeling like new again very shortly. When the pregnant lady gets home she’ll still be pregnant—-sore, incredibly uncomfortable, and now potentially in pain or losing her baby, since she and the nice older gentleman both fell because selfish asshole planted his ass in his seat and ignored them. I hope Karma’s got one hell of a medieval “party” planned for this bastard.
fenixrising1972 3 years ago
I'm a woman and I've had three kids and I would never expect someone else to make themselves less comfortable just so I can be lazy. It's not that hard to stand just because you're pregnant.
Jods 3 years ago
It’s not as bad as the incident in the UK last week. A lady slipped outside her house and because of her disability could not get to her feet unaided. She asked a Royal Mail postie if he could help her up but he said he couldn’t as he was too knackered and simply walked away. I don’t care which country any such incidents happen in I just worry where our common decency and willingness to help others has gone.
Claudette Zewell 3 years ago
Everyone pays. Everyone is entitled to sit. Unfortunately seats are hard to get esp peak hrs. No its the guy’s right to sit. Its not an automatic entitlement. She got pregnant. Pregnancy is s condition, not a serious affliction.
Daphne Williams 3 years ago
Pregnancy can come with a wide variety of side effects, from the minor to the truly awful. If she falls, it could be a trip to the hospital, or the loss of her child. If you are able-bodied, and won't be seriously injured if you fall down, you should give up for seat for people that might be, including the disabled, elderly, and pregnant. Period. This is just fundamental human decency.
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Israel Martinez 3 years ago
Every bus has a section for elderly, handicapped or pregnant persons ... but, even if there was no other seats available, that means the bus is packed and if it's packed, that means there about 20+ other people that could have offered her a seat ... she just chose his and he paid the price for not "complying" ...
Paul Viktor 3 years ago
If we are talking about how he is an "as**ole" because, even after he politely disagree to give away his seat, he still was "rude" on social-morale aspect of the situation - don't forget to call out pregnant woman and that old man an as**oles too, because she didn't need to call him names just because he refused to give a seat. And old man could have just given the seat without calling him names as well. Being pregnant or an old man doesn't mean you can be as**oles to everyone around you, as well as being tired doesn't mean you can be a jerk.
*˚tacocat˚* 3 years ago
I honestly think this guy is a bit rude, but he's had a hard day, give him a break. She could have asked someone else, as if he was as tired as he says it would have been visible. But him saying she can just get an abortion and shouldn't have a kid is definitely not right.
RoseTheMad 3 years ago (edited)
I'll get disliked for this, but don't think he's 100% an asshole. How was anyone on that bus to know he wasn't invisibly disabled? (as far as we can tell, he isn't, but how was anyone to know, as well as the fact he isn't required to divulge his disability to a stranger) Anyone on that bus could have given up their seat. As for the old man, age doesn't always = unable bodied. I have low mobility, as well as chronic pain (fibromyalgia) which can lead to fatigue and dizziness, meaning being on my feet just isn't a 100% viable idea. Some days I can walk for miles, others I can barely get down the street. I have a bus pass, and I get stares enough for that, but honestly it annoys me so much when people assume I'm perfectly able bodied and don't need a seat. Callous as it is, you have the choice to get pregnant or not in most cases. I didn't have any choice regarding my disabilities. Yet most times I still end up giving my seat up.
Anna McHugh 3 years ago
I am 100% with this guy. I don't believe that we should have any more kids; the world is terrible, life is too hard, and being human is a burden. We're shoved into this life and have no choices except fight to survive or kill ourselves. The woman who chooses to have a child has done just that - she's chosen, and she's chosen for the child she's created. NOBODY owes her anything, and she's added another burden to an already overpopulated world.
Jen Albert 3 years ago
I've seen it mentioned on Bored Panda and other places on how you can't judge people when it comes to handicap parking. When the person has the valid permit. On how just because it looks to you that person does not need the space you don't know their physical issues. How come the same is not implemented here? Why should people who look like they are in better physical shape than you be required to give up a seat.
Crochet lady 3 years ago
Do people not realize this guy is trolling for a reaction? Lots of people farm for downvotes. This was a ridiculous fairytale.
Chufi Giaffo 3 years ago
Hard to believe anyone could b that stupid. I'm 90 and without hesitation I would have offered her my seat.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago (edited)
You’re 90?! Wow. I guess I never think of the elderly online
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KT 3 years ago
Wow that guy is a pathetic excuse for a human being. We're all f*****g tired but you god dam give your seat to a pregnant woman you piece of s**t
Luke Oakridge 3 years ago
Why are you assuming that the pregnant woman is more tired than he is?
Load More Replies... Martha Murphy 3 years ago
This guy seems to be selfish and have a lack of empathy, as well as bad manners, which makes him a jerk.That makes him similar to a lot of other people. If he's interested in becoming a better person, he certainly has that opportunity. So his feet hurt. How does he know the other person's feet (or back, etc) aren't hurting worse than his?
Jade Lynn - Panda's Brat 3 years ago
The way this guy writes about the experience does make him sound like a jerk. If he had been nicer about the situation and explained to her why he did not want to get up then she could have moved on to the next person and asked them to get up. Just because he is closest to the door doesn't mean he's the one who is most able to give up a seat. When I did 12 hour shifts on my feet all day all I wanted to do for the rest of the night was sit.
John C 3 years ago
I'm reminded of George Carlin's response to those "Baby On Board" car signs: "So I'm supposed to modify my driving habits because your birth control failed?" :) In that situation I think I would have offered my seat, but that's my choice. This guy made his choice. I will not shame him for it, and shame on the rest of you for doing so.
Random Panda 3 years ago
"Baby On Board" signs are for first responders in case of an accident, so they know to look for the baby first.
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Laura Chen 3 years ago
When i was pregnant, i would never compel anyone to make them get up and then shame them after. You don't know their situation. What if you shame them and they bring out a cane? Currently (post pregnancy), I had a stroke, have back issues, walk with a limp and have bad balance. I would feel horrible if a pregnant woman tried compelling me to let her sit and I'll have to explain all that without a physical indication (cane). Obviously i would be grateful if a stranger gave up a seat for me while pregnant, but that would be voluntary. I wouldn't thrust my stomach in someone's face to make them get up unless it was dire need.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
It’s funny how the voices of pregnant women all got slammed to the bottom for not agreeing that the man was wrong.
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Casey McAlister 3 years ago
I mean, yeah, his attitude is kinda assholish, but I don't really believe that the whole bus was full of old, pregnant and disabled people. They all, apart from one old man, just happily sat there. What's weird is that he decided to tell his family for some reason and take it to the Internet. It's such a ridiculous non-issue, really.
Aragorn II Elessar 3 years ago
I was raised to treat women respectfully: holding doors, offering my seat, offering to pay for stuff, etc.
lenka 3 years ago
I've been pregnant using public transport in Australia. Yes, most of the time people make room but I would honestly not recomend it. I had to ride standing up more often than I should have, and sometimes the pain in my hips and pelvis was actually enough to ask someone to move for me when no one offered. On one occassion I even gave up my seat to an elderly lady when no-one offered her a seat.
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CCTheVampire 3 years ago (edited)
I understand this guy completely. My father also works 10 hours a day as a construction worker(he's also a single parent, as my mother left us in 2018), and at his current job, goes up and down 8 flights of stairs pretty much all day checking on the other foremen and making sure they're doing their jobs. When he comes home, he's usually limping. So I don't think this guy is the a**e. It was just by chance that lady went up to him. She could have gone up to anyone else. I'd say she was at fault here, but I'm open for debate.
Hale Hoa 3 years ago
I think it is his right to not give up the seat. He is not a nice guy but reading what he has to go through after 10 long work hours it is reasonable. I am a woman and also had a kid but it was my choice so I didn’t expect any special treatment. I do not think women should expect special treatment for being pregnant. If women want equality then they should be tough enough to act their part.
Barbara Love 3 years ago
So everyone else on the bus kept their seats also right? I remember years and years ago taking the bus to work from Oakland to San Francisco, I was pregnant there were no empty seats so I had to stand and no one offered their seat to me male nor female. So I stood. Would not have thought of asking a guy for his seat. And the crying because she didn’t get her way is a bit much. We judge far too much without giving a thought to the other person and the choice was his after all. And if the old guy and pregnant woman had been holding on they would not have fallen. Bottom line we all have the choice of deciding for ourselves what we want to do period, without owing the world a explanation. It was his choice and he had the right to say no.
Tammy Gundaker 3 years ago
I don’t like his line of thinking, he don’t have a car because of an accident... maybe her car was totaled too? The getting pregnant part was asinine, but you know what? Women want equality? Well, that was equality.
carol Vaughn 3 years ago
I agree with him totally, so she pregnant, it not his fault, I will give up a sit for the elderly or handycap, but not a pregnant woman, and yes I know how it feels to stand on my feet while pregnant, as for the fall, it was the reason for the bus drivere to slam on the brake, if I was the driver I would of told both pregnant woman and old man to stop or get off they are causing a problem, with the other riders,
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
I get being tired, but this accusation that it's her own fault for becoming pregnant is bonkers.
Laura Mende 3 years ago
Happened to me with an old lady once. Same story as this guy, I worked 10 hrs and did overtime as well. In the subway home, there was this old lady and I just said I'm tired too. So what is this all about? It's not a crime to be tired, next time I will share my seat...
Antonia Brighton-Dali 3 years ago
Absolutely down to personal choice. I personally would not give up my seat. I get nauseated on public transport and need to sit down (facing forwards only) to minimise that. That answer doesn't change for elderly people either. Too many unpleasant interactions from trying to be nice. Possibly disabilities. No one owes you a seat in life. If you get to the seat first, fair enough. I'd never ask someone to move so I could sit even though standing up means I feel extremely sick during the journey and sometimes for up to an hour afterwards. It.Is.No ones.Obligation.To.Stand.Up.Just.Because.You.Decided.To.Add.To.The.Overpopulation.Of.The.Planet. (Say it again for the people at the back). Your kid, your choice. Not my problem. (Y) 'No' Is a perfectly valid answer, if someone continues harassing after that point it should be treated like any other nuisance passenger on public transport. Ask them nicely to leave you alone or you'll get the driver/conductor and have them escorted off.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I would have given up my seat, because I think it should be a knee jerk reaction to just be nice and regret it later lol. But I fully agree with his premise and I think it’s immoral of her to put her CHOICE on someone else. It isn’t the man’s choice to be poor and need a bus. It’s the woman’s choice to get pregnant and keep it knowing she will have to be on the bus pregnant. I think it’s a valid choice, but one she shouldn’t impose on a random man who did not impregnate her.
Rebecca Bandy 3 years ago
It’s manners 101, which means he was rude to not offer, but it also means she was rude for asking. While his logic is technically true, it’s not gracious. And asking someone else to give up his seat is also not gracious, because she doesn’t know his situation. It’s not an entitlement contest. We’re on the honour system to be gracious to others. That’s what manners are.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I SOOO agree. It’s a politeness thing that should have been unspoken. If he didn’t get up, the assumption should just be he’s too tired or disabled to stand. Both parties would need to be more polite. Are you British?
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Rita Shapiro 3 years ago
I don't think it's wrong to point out that having a child is a choice. Unfortunately, it may not stay that way for long... there is a lot of opposition to abortion, birth control, and even rudimentary sex ed. And I'd also like to point out that there are invisible disabilities such as heart and mobility problems. Someone might feel that they are entitled to my seat because they are gestating, but I'm not giving it up because standing is painful for me. I should not be judged for not explaining why.
Nymphadora Tonks 3 years ago
It was rude of him to refuse to give up his seat. You don't know how long she has been standing. You can die from pregnacy and child birth, but not from standing. In a way, the woman was also rude. She could've asked someone else for their seat, but instead she begged for the one she knew she wasn't going to get. Both people could've been nicer.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
You DO know how long he was standing. If it’s a standing competition, he would win. So by your thinking, he should have the seat since he stood longer.
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Lisa 3 years ago
I just think he's an asshole because he lectured her instead of just saying no. And there were other people on the bus who also could give up their seat. It's been awhile since I used public transit but there should be seating specifically for pregnant/elderly near the driver. And if one chooses to sit in one of those seats, be prepared to give it up.
Vanja Timmers 3 years ago
I would prefer sitting too, but the feeling I get from doing something nice for someone else is more important to me
June 3 years ago
One day, in the subway. All the seats were taken by middle aged men. A heavily pregnant woman came in. None of the men gave her a sit. Then I stood up on my crutches with my broken leg to give her mine. She said "no, crutches, broken leg... it's ok". I insisted. All the men stood up to give their seat. We have assholes here, but not such assholes. Not about the facts, but about the way he talks about it. Insensitive, egoistic asshole.
Kat Hi 3 years ago
"Nobody’s forced to give up their seat for a pregnant woman, but it’s a sign that something’s probably off with your values if you choose not to." So all he does is, he takes his own needs serious and has his bounderies. It´s not his problem. If it s so risky for the woman to take a bus, as you describe it...then well, maybe she shouldn´t take the bus. She can ASK. But he has the RIGHT to neglect and say NO. Because he HAS A GOOD REASON. He is in pain. That is a good reason. She is the one who has to accept. She cannnot expect that and she has to respect the needs of others as well. It´s a acceptable reason. So nothing wrong. She can ask someone else. And that´s it. Shouting at him for falling -sry, but that´s twistet fault. It´s not his fault. It happends and if there s a guilty person, that it s the busdriver for not looking after his passengers. He saw, that there s a pregnant women. He is in charge. Not the one whose feet are sore. Stop twisting things up
Asking for a Friend 3 years ago
It’s incredibly inconsiderate not to give up one’s seat to someone who is pregnant or elderly. This happened to me when I was pregnant, and even had people on MUNI bumping up against my belly. It’s shameful to be honest. Tired feet are no comparison to how a woman’s body can feel towards the end of pregnancy. It’s called compassion. Sad that so many people don’t get that concept. For the record, I always give up my seat for pregnant women, elderly people, and kids. Just don’t be a punk!
Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 3 years ago
*perspective: I am a female who has had 2 full pregnancies* This was on BF as a very truncated version, unsure whose was first as I don't It was worded on there differently and I sided with the guy. I think adding "they fell" and one of them being elderly is supposed to gain empathy. so convenient he was elderly and waited that long- which is partially why I don't think the story was true. That said...she should be able to sit, but why only that guy? Why didn't someone immediately offer? He is in pain as well. Maybe he had hidden disability and had a balance problem? Are there handles to hold onto?
William Waterstone 3 years ago
What a load of judgmental crap. The guy had legitimate reasons and was obviously not the only one on the bus. Others could have given their seat up. The guy was correct not to make the sacrifice as it was not good for his health either. He was right to take a stand by not standing. He had to deal with the fallout of judgmental idiots and could have handled that a bit better, but overall he did the right thing and those in judgment of him, did the wrong thing.
Luna Laluna 3 years ago
Theoretic question, what if he'll have hidden disability? Not necessarily happy to talk about it in front of everyone in the bus. Who's more privileged to have a sit, pregnant women or disabled man?
Dippin Dot 3 years ago
Again, don't judge a book by its cover... this guy appeared to be in able health, but what if he wasn't? It's just like when you see someone parked in the handicapped spot who looks like they are in quite good health, but in reality has a darn good reason to be parked there. Both handled the situation poorly, but just because you are pregnant doesn't give you a free pass to have strangers bend over backwards for you because you ask.
Jim Patrick 3 years ago
I am pretty damn sure he would have stayed that he was not in able body healthy if wasn't after listing all his other excuses, I worked on my feet, I have a 15 min walk after, ... I am sure he would not have missed staying it also. The fact is he is just one of the many that think they are entitled, my stuff is more important than anyone else. Lack of consideratoin(empathy, morals) for others because he is too important. I work on feet 8,10, sometimes 12 hours a day with a lot of fast paced walking, stop & go and by no means young any longer(especially in my field of work), I would have not hesitated and she would not even had to ask because I would have already offered my seat to her.
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Very Bored Panda 3 years ago
I am on both sides he could have just politely said he declined and said but you can ask another person.
Sam Yobado 3 years ago
Where I'm from there are designated bus seats in the front for the elderly, disabled, pregnant or with children. You can sit there but must move if someone who needs it gets on. On packed buses those seats are always full. I was once standing on a packed bus when an elderly woman with a cane got on. A young man refused to give her his seat, and the rest of those front seats were already taken with people who they were for. Others were offering seats to her, including other elderly and women with children. Because it was a designated seat though, the bus driver was allowed to stop the bus until the young man got off the bus, not up from his seat, off the bus, because he didn't follow the rule. The transit police were called and he got off when he saw them coming. He was ticketed, and not allowed back on. It delayed us all 10 minutes, but we didn't care, we all clapped and cheered. People like this exist and some require consequences.
Daphne Williams 3 years ago
The craziest part is you think being an asshole is okay.
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elStiJneriNO 3 years ago
Since the guy asked "AITA". Yes you are. A "No,can you ask someone else please" vs "why don't you abort your baby, that's not my problem"
Just JoLynn 3 years ago
You do realize he didn't actually say those words to her right? He says he politely said no then expressed his dickheaded opinion on the matter when explaining the story.
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1 year ago
Instead of those one person seats, I think public transit should consider having bench seats so people can just scoot over and everyone's happy Passengers can also consider investing in one of those folding stick seats when you need to sit down and finding a public transit seat it's just not possible
1 year ago
An alternative when you can't give up your own seat is the scoot over and share half of it if design allows Another alternative is for passengers to consider investing in one of those folding stick seats when you just can't find a seat when you need it
Daniel Saenz 2 years ago
Pregnant, disabled, and elderly all have priority seating on the bus and for any person not wanting to give up their seat you truly are a special kind of asshole get your head out of your ass and realize the world doesn't revolve around you these people deserve the seats more than your privileged ass if that was my mother or gf you did that I would have lost it. People like you are lazy scum.
Dio 3 years ago
I don't think he was in the wrong. People are loosing their s**t about him bringing up abortion, but it's not made clear if he said that directly to her or not. If he did then yea he was out of line, but I think he just said that for the story so people aren't saying "well what if she couldn't afford it". Then people are bringing up that it was his choice to work a job where he's on his feet all day, and yes it was his choice but he was on the bus first and he has a right to the seat.
AspieGirl88 3 years ago
While it may be “first come, first serve”, meaning you aren’t going to be physically forced to give up your seat; should you choose to remain seated, you merely lower your self-worth that much more & in the eyes of (almost) everyone in the vicinity, you’ve become a snake. It’s perhaps even considered social suicide, depending on how many people find out about your reluctance to help someone in need. While other people could’ve solved the issue much quicker, they didn’t & in this instance, you get singled out. Could’ve been handled a little bit better, that’s for sure... 🤷♀️
Cherry 3 years ago
Honestly this is just selfish thinking. If she's a single mother, she could've also been coming home from a job where she'd been on her feet all day. When I was pregnant, my feet would swell 5× their normal size if I was on them for an hour. I also suffered from dizziness and could fall from standing on STEADY ground. Yeah, i agree someone else could've given up their seat, but she asked him and he could've been nicer about it. He doesn't know if she worked the same amount or longer and was having the same issues
Katie Sheets 3 years ago
I mean he should have offered the seat to her BUT I TOTALLY GET WHAT HE MEANS ABOUT PARENTS EXPECTING THEM AND THEIR KIDS TO BECOME THE CENTER OF EVERYONES UNIVERSE THAT THEY ARE AROUND. Sure the safety factor is the biggest thing here since she was pregnant. But dude was exhausted and I know that level of tired when most people dont! Sonetimes ya just gotta be the bigger person even when it is PHYSICALLY so hard to.
Jeff Caligari 3 years ago
Hey if she had practiced social distancing she wouldnt have gotten pregnant, lucky its not covid. Covid might be better to have than a baby. Probably cheaper. Was she wearing a mask? Did she cough on you.. you should get checked out. I hope you are Ok.
Tamara Kroonen 3 years ago
The bus driver could also have made an exception so the pregnant lady could still sit on one of the other free seats. Some people want to let a pregnant lady sit, but due to health reasons they just can't. Why should you defend your "NO" with your medical record? It is not that pregnant women have a monopoly on seats. This guy had a really good reason for not giving up his seat. Although he could have been more polite and suggested her to please find someone else. Don't jugde a book by its cover. You never know why someone declines. It isn't fair to just blame it on "he is a lazy millenium".
Daniel Hurtado 3 years ago
Mom told me a story, when she was young, in any public transit system, no matter which one, people used to take care of disable people, women, childs and elders, when one of these peopl got up all the males inmediatly stood up and offer their seats cause the meaning of chivalry was not seing as some sort of "male chauvinism" that current gens believe is bad, we used to treat women the same way we wanted to be treated, because thats is respect, because open the car door to a woman is respectful, because to slide the chair to help her sit is respectful not some sort of disgusting idea people nowadays have, up to this day I changed my mind and my behaviour, If you are not pregnant, elder or disable i dont care how much your feets hurt my seat is mine, because is not fair that the "feminism" is wanting to impose benefits and not caring about duties specially for women, because the patriarchy is just the hay doll they make to have an evil enemy to fight, and not something real.
Daniel Hurtado 3 years ago
This behaviour is consequence of this modern political times, and is disgusting to read this kind of expressions, "You shoulndt get pregnant if you cant afford a car", "Abortions is free why dont you get one", this AH deserve less respect than a used toilet paper, because his attitude is deplorable.
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Truth is a B**** 3 years ago
NTA whatsoever! Next let some guy with a car know I you up. Women who play the “single mom” card are annoying as F!
Hypatia Vasilios 3 years ago
He's clearly trolling, no one behaves like that. He's just winding everyone up.
Elida Lechuga 3 years ago
Not the asshole for not giving up the seat but yes an asshole for your attitude and choice of words.
Willson Gordon 3 years ago
Wow, it's unbelievable how the shining moral sense is coming out of ppl mouths in these situations when it's not about themselves. Yelling and verbally abuse someone because he didn't give his sit to a pregnant woman isn't just as socially immoral as not giving your sit to a pregnant woman? His mistake was his remarks, and her mistake was to play the victim while there were plenty of other ppl sitting around. He didn't want to give her his sit. So what? Maybe he was sick or maybe he also had a problem. Not all disabilities are as visible as a pregnancy, you know? I actually feel bad for the education of the future baby. All of you with flawless moral sense, did you ever stand 10h up on your feet? That gives backpain and affects the balance as well! Ofc, everything is ok with bullying someone, but it's an odious crime to not give up your sit to a pregnant woman. You should all be ashamed of yourself just as much as you say that guy should be ashamed of what he did.
Cindy Bock 3 years ago
They singled out the guy for not giving up his seat. How many other people were there onnthe bus? Did any of them even offer her a seat before she HAD TO ASK this man for his seat. He was on his feet 10 hours working, that does include the time he walked to the bus or to hisjob. He was on his feet longer than a person sleeps at night. I. Can understand him saying no, there were other people on the bus who she could ask. It isn’t his job to make sure she had a seat. I don’t think he should be singled out. That isn’t fair!
Jacqueline Burgess 3 years ago
In my view two wrongs don't make a right. If you are on your feet and tired I get it. The burning pain is excruciating. That is sufficient reason enough. The other part of his supporting arguments was irrelevant. The woman could have also asked openly for someone to kindly offer their seat because of her situation. I am a female. I have had two small kids strapped to me on a crowded bus. It has never been my view that anyone should feel obligated to give me their seat. Its a matter of choice. Yes I do believe in chivalry but in this case its like we want to crucify the guy for being human.
Hayley Benoit 3 years ago
well I mean I get that when your pregnant that you want a seat. But hey It wont hurt the baby to stand if you can't find one.
Nike 3 years ago
That story has exactly the same attitude - why should i care, she wanted a baby, contraception, abortions, blabla...Come on! You can apply this approach to any scenario - it’s not my fault he’s old, he wanted to live; it’s not my problem that someone is disabled, i’m also dead tired. Don’t be that miserable person. If we had this approach to life, world would be a terrible place! What I see here is complete lack of empathy. This person obviously hasn’t had a chance to develop empathy through adolescence and childhood. We’re born hardwired with capacity for empathy, but its development requires practice. The idea of working until your due date and maternity leave that lasts 3 weeks is incomprehensible for the rest of the world, but that’s a different topic 2/2
Nike 3 years ago
DC Metro 2019. 8 months pregnant, getting on the train after working all day and looking for available seat. I spot the guy who is standing and have his bag spread across 2 seats. I stand there hoping he’d move his bag, but instead, he decides to ignore me. When i finally asked him if i could seat there, he said he was saving the seat for a friend?! (He moved later looking for a friend who was suppose to get on the same train). I was shocked and disappointed, I have to admit. I’m relatevly new to the US, and in Europe there are seats reserved for elderly, disabled and pregnant. This is probably the time when i realized how cruel and cold this place is. Not to mention manners or just being polite! I’m not going to go into details about womens’ anatomy and why they’re ‘disabled’ in a way during and after pregnancy. And it’s not about me, I’m a fit mom who can handle standing after working all day, but i know other women who had terrible health issues during their pregnancies 1/2
Neill Powell 3 years ago
First and foremost Don't expect people to give you a place to sit. These days men are learning to ignore women like an unnumbered member of the rest of the people on transport. Pregnant or not. You can thank your feminist overlords for that one. If you need a place to sit, ask.
Faith Hurst 3 years ago
This could depend a lot on your pregnancy. I worked full time with both and was also a student with one. My son sat on just the right spot to cause a severe pain in my left lower back and hip. I was on my feet all day and finishing my degree, yeah, it was my choice to decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, but it was so painful that by the time I got home most nights it was too late. I never asked anyone for their seat but I as very appreciative of those who offered. When I was pregnant with my daughter I was also on my feet all day but I wasn't as sick and she never found that spot her brother did, so I felt pretty good the whole time and most of the time someone offered a seat I declined. She may have chosen to continue a pregnancy but he chose a job that kept him on his feet all day and required a 20 minute walk home from the bus. We all make decisions.
JP callaghan 3 years ago
Always give up your seat for and elderly person, pregnant lady, or someone with a disability. It's just good manners, and considerate
Blackheart 3 years ago
Well, he's an a**hole. And a stupid one at that, posting it to the internet.
Terry Cline 3 years ago
I experienced the same situation about 30 years ago. I was about 8 months pregnant and boarded the bus. No seats were available so I looked at a few of the business men sitting there hoping one would give up their seat. Nope, so I hung on the pole hoping for a smooth ride. You know who got up and told me to take his seat? A young black gang member. He was a member of the Bloods (red bandana, etc). I told him loudly so the others could hear, "Thank you, your mother raised you well." Never judge a book by its cover.
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 3 years ago
I've been reading over these comments the last few days. I hope the next generations take care of their fellow humans better than we have done. I didn't realize so many people were willing to just turn a blind eye and be selfish. Who cares how people got into their situations? We are all living right now. And we if don't look out for each other, we have no hope.
Steve in Denver 3 years ago
I would have ripped that jerk's headphones off so fast and pulled him out of that seat. Selfish little creep.
cursed--alien 3 years ago
There are reasons that someone would take a bus other than they can't afford a car. For me the reason I don't drive is because I'm scared of learning to drive cuz I'm scared of accidentally killing someone.
Jessica Pentland 3 years ago
I've had this happen to me on the London Tube. I was heavily pregnant and trying to manage a toddler. I looked around and no one would give up their seat for me. People these days...
Vicky Z 3 years ago
the serious problem is that he started judging her for her choices he had no right to do that! and sorry but yes he was rude! The polite thing would be to say I'm sorry but I have problem with my feet could you ask someone else? all the rest was unnecessary and he is asking exactly what? He expects to tell him well done? We have to care for other people too and I don't think the problem was that he was tired I'm pretty sure he wouldn't stand anyway! He just wanted to be rude!
Robin Patton 3 years ago
OK, I believe is Karma and I've got a perfect example. My husband and I were in Las Vegas and decided to take the bus to a show instead of fighting parking. On the way back the bus was pretty empty and we got to sit together. A pregnant lady got on the bus and my husband immediately gave her his seat (last one available). At the next stop a large group of scantily clad show girls got on the bus completely surrounding my hubby. It was perfect karma for his selfless act. He was a happy man.
Joshua Brenneman 3 years ago
F**k a guy with car next time. I wouldn't give you my seat after 12 hours of physical labour just because you took a hot messy creampie.
PAN-da (hehe get it) 3 years ago (edited)
(1/3) i'm gonna give my input on this, even though no one really cares: this man, he ITA. everyone down here is in the comments talking about how getting pregnant is a choice, not a condition, and yes, pregnancy is not a "condition", but it's not always a choice either. this man says that he lives in a state where abortions are free, and only 16 states have abortions paid for by taxes. while we don't know what state he's in, he is suggesting that this woman should have gotten an abortion for HIS OWN PERSONAL PREFERENCE. I REPEAT HE SAID SHE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN AN ABORTION SO SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK FOR A SEAT ON THE BUS. also, i think we are ignoring the fact that we have literally no idea the circumstances of this lady's pregnancy. all we know is that she is a single mom and the man stated she was "heavily pregnant". someone else in the comments suggested that the woman could have been raped and gotten pregnant, which is a valid theory. the woman could have gotten pregnant from a
PAN-da (hehe get it) 3 years ago (edited)
(2/3) previous relationship. maybe even a broken condom from a one night stand! WE DON'T KNOW. who is he to judge what she should and should not have done after getting pregnant? sure, maybe it was a choice to get pregnant, but that doesn't mean she's not having problems in her pregnancy! from the description, it seems like she is maybe in her third trimester, so her baby would weigh around 6 1/2 pounds, not to mention the amount of weight she may have lost/gained during the pregnancy. carrying this amount of weight can put a lot of strain on your back and legs, this is common knowledge. we and the man also have no idea what she has been doing for the day. yes, working a 9-5 job on your feet all day can be tiring, my ankles hurt after 5 hours at a concession stand, so i can't imagine 8 hours of that, but who knows? this woman could have done something way more labor intensive. even if what she was doing wouldn't make YOU tired, she is heavily pregnant. imagine working a 9-5 job on
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Natalie Kudryashova 3 years ago
The thing with making it about her choice though. He says it like she was asking for the seat because she chose to wear stilettos that day, a choice that affects only her. In a society, women “choosing” to “breed” is a foundation of the society continuing to exist in any shape of form. If women decided to stop “breeding”, no human being would be left alive in 100 years’ time. That is why pregnant women and children are generally more protected - they are literally the FUTURE of HUMANITY.
Natalie Kudryashova 3 years ago
Can’t recall the last time I read something so self-centred and out of touch. You are a tired but able bodied person she is a heavily pregnant person. You give up your seat, end of story. Standing in a bus when you’re tired can suck, but standing in a bus when you’re heavily pregnant can suck x10 times more. You give up your seat to the person who needs it more than you, be it because they are old or sick. You don’t own the seat, you didn’t pay any more for it than she did. Sure, you can refuse, but then you need to accept that yes you’re being the asshole. You can’t eat your cake and have it too.
Isle_of_stressed_pilots 3 years ago
YTA. I was on his side until he mentioned her "poor life choices" of getting pregnant when he literally made "poor life choices" for getting a job that results in him having sore feet.
Not Available 3 years ago
This is a great example of just about everything everyone disagrees about in society today. Some people would say him giving up his seat would be him looking at her as less or weaker but at the same time wanting equity so there must be a magic seat somewhere that all the rest of the people on the bus should find for her. Some people would argue that she got a seat from a the other person because of the other person's willingness to compete for this woman's appreciation, and the desired results happened for two of the three without adding any additional resources (seats) to the situation. I personally think you should always be respectful to people but being kind is a choice to make situation to situation. No one person owes any other person (except your own children) support, help, assistance of any kind. People can chose to be kind or not. They should realize that kindness is more rewarding though.
Kay blue 3 years ago
Could the bus driver have done more. I got on a full bus with my baby daughter who was in my arms as I had to collapse the buggy and leave it in on the luggage rack. The driver yelled down the bus that he wasn't going anywhere until someone gave me a seat. I've seen it before with disabled/elderly/pregnant women etc.
Julie Phipps 3 years ago
Ok, so why didn't all these do gooder people on the bus offer their seats up. Why did she have to ask ? Why did she ask him? Why didn't she ask someone else?
Johanna 3 years ago
He is an asshole, but he's not the only one in the bus. There where plenty people, maybe one of them could have offered his seat. There are not enough informations. I understand that he was exhausted und so he refused his seat. Okay. But than telling her this stupid s**t about abbortions etc and ignoring her and the old man when they had fallen is beyond assholery. Why did not one else offered his seat? Did he sit on a seat for disabled people or pregnant women (in Germany they are always near the entrance and you have too give up those seats if your are neither disabled nore pregnant)?
Donna Cheung 3 years ago
As a woman who'd been pregnant, I wouldn't say that this man was an a**hole if based only on the fact that he didn't give up his seat. I get it; you paid the fair, you have the right to sit down if you got on when there 's a free seat. I mean, you may be tired/ in pain/ there may be people who are younger than you who could give up their seat. So yeah, he'd be a selfish guy but I wouldn't say he's an a**hole just based on that. But he absolutely is a jerk for writing a whole post about how the woman is wrong, and how he's actually proud of the way he reacted. I sincerely hope he won't "breed".
BluEyedSeoulite 3 years ago
I read a more condensed version of this story and it was a split. I totally understood both sides and I've been in both places. However, this more descriptive version makes him the asshole and shows that he needs to be more considerate of others. Maybe HE should have had enough money saved up to buy a new car immediately after his car was totaled. Maybe that woman isn't single by choice, maybe her husband just died. Maybe he just disappeared after clearing their bank account. Maybe she just sold her car to buy a new heater for her house after hers broke. Give people the benefit of the doubt! He could have sucked it up and stood until someone else got off. If she falls down, it can be a serious issue, he just gets bruised. Plus, if he ass in priority seating, he is definitely the asshole.
Anne Nielsen 3 years ago
You need to go see the Wizard of Oz you need both a brain and a heart!
Nizumi 3 years ago
He chose to draw attention himself with his post, expecting people to come to his defense - he deserves the backlash. I'm actually more disgusted with his whiney "justification" than his behaviour on the bus.
María Hermida 3 years ago
And what about HER whiney justification? Being a single mother doesn't give people more rights. He might be rude, but she is an entitled bit...
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Michael Hooper 3 years ago
I think everyone is overreacting. Why couldn't EVERYONE help and stand for a few minutes each. He deserved some consideration too. What would everybody be saying if he wasn't a working man. So give him a break, EVERYONE has an opportunity to be a nice "guy", but instead decided to act self righteous toward him. If they were that concerned any one or all of them could have given up their seats for a few minutes.
meowgie catster 3 years ago
ok his reasoning is s**t but I can see his point, but he should have been better about it and maybe asking her to ask another person if it was really that bad for him. but also he sounds like he's just being a lazy selfish ass
blugeagua 3 years ago
We don't even really know HOW she got pregnant. What if it wasn't her choice?
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Because if she was raped and she kept it, it was by choice. Also because statistically that’s not even a reasonable assumption.
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Catalina Nagy 3 years ago
There are reserved seats for pregnant/elderly/disabled passengers. If she really needed to have a seat she should have called out to whomever was willing to give it to her. She just singled out this guy. She was pregnant, maybe he had a bad knee. And this whining about being a pregnant single mother..... he was right - not his problem. (I am female, 60+, no children by choice)
Steven Rose 3 years ago
We need more public transportation available so that those who need a seat will have one.
John Montgomery 3 years ago
I'm not sure which is worse here, but I'm very glad this isn't the Orville because that's exactly what got the scientist lobotomised.
Barbara Skolly 3 years ago
As someone who was pregnant in winter and had a jacket that concealed it well i had many standing train rides. Towards the end when my feet were swollen i started exaggerating my waddle and opened my jacket when I boarded. Normally someone would clear a seat quickly but occasionally it took some judgmental glances from others for someone to give up a priority seat (seats that give priority to elderly, disabled and pregnant)
Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago
we're saying this guy is a bad person, but she literally could have asked someone else when he said no, so maybe SHE'S in the wrong here (ok probs gonna get downvoted to death but i had to say it)
Znaya 3 years ago
Anyone could have offered her a seat, there was no need to write about it and become personal, when another seat became empty the person could have taken it problem solved, people overthink things and use excuses, with the pregnant lady there were things that might have happened that were beyond her control, the guy would still have had his sore feet when he made it home 😀
Brandy Grote 3 years ago
He said "but he can deal" meaning he wasn't disabled, just tired. His stubborn refusal caused TWO people, no, 3 counting the baby, to risk injury. How would the asshole feel if she went into labor from falling? Maybe her car got wrecked, too? What a lowlife worm.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Imagine being so entitled that someone not giving you their own thing is somehow stubborn. “Won’t somebody think of the children!!?!” - Karen Grote
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Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
If this is real, it's disgusting. Hard to tell if it's baiting, but tbh I wouldn't put anything past humanity these days :(
Joseph Burke 3 years ago
The guy was perfectly correct. It's not his problem that a single woman chose to get pregnant and now can't find a seat on the bus. If chivalry is dead, it's because feminists killed it. If the feminists are correct, that women don't need men to do things for them, then I don't see the problem. So either they are right or they are wrong. Which is it? You can't spend your whole life screaming about how women don't need men but then still expect them to go out of their way for you.
NatalieC 3 years ago
We don't all share the same values. This person has little to no empathy. Is he a bad person because of it? IDK. Some people are just like that.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Literally anyone could look at you and say that you have no empathy because you didn’t care how the guy felt. By your own thinking, you yourself have no empathy.
Load More Replies... Marcellus the Third 3 years ago
Nobody forced him to take the 10h standing job, nobody asked her to get pregnant so that balances out. However, anybody who used the word "cherish" to describe time sat on a bus with headphones on is beyond reasoning so there's no point.
Justin Marshall 3 years ago
Pregnancy is a choice and not a condition. Where's the sympathy for people with cancer and are too weak to stand? Where's the sympathy for people who just had knee surgery and are in pain? All you see is a preggo demanding the world bow to her every whim and command. I will never give up my seat because someone is pregnant. I will always give it up for the disabled or elderly. As a friend once said regarding pregnant women on public transport: "She should have screwed someone with a car!"
Melanie Wittmier-Steffler 3 years ago
Men need to feel all the pain involved with pregnancy. Her feet were most likely swollen from water retention and high blood pressure that can be life threatening. Her back was out of alignment due to belly imbalance. Her breasts are heavy and painful. She may still be nauseated and standing on a bus can add dizziness and lightheadedness. The excess weight of placenta filled with baby, fluids and new veins feeding baby push organs into painful positions, standing causes leaking urine. Yeah, this is just a few things before labor & birth to look forward to.
sturmwesen 3 years ago
Oh come on... you talk as if any pregnancy is the same for everyone. We had 4 colleagues that were pregnant the last year and most are like "pregnancy is not a disability" . I do not deny some have heavy sideeffects but in the end you can not compare pain between people. What one considers inconvenient another may find tremendously hurting. You do not know the pain or struggle of others. So ask if you want a seat but accept if another person has different reasons and priorities.
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Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago (edited)
I cannot bloody believe people defending this enormous s crotum of a man. "abortions are free" maybe go boil yourself in liquid feces
Kenny Kulbiski 3 years ago
I got as far as the old man calling him a " damn millennial " and decided the whole thing was fiction. Not very good fiction either.
Crochet lady 3 years ago
So people REALLY think this fairytale woman opened up about her martial status to some incel on a bus to try to win his seat? And even if this story were true his logic is faulty: just because the state they live in has access to free bc and abortion doesn't mean that's the state where she got pregnant. Furthermore for all he knows she also worked 10 hour shifts on her feet all day but is ALSO pregnant.
Tom 3 years ago
This article has made me lose massive faith in Bored Panda because it presents such a one sided view, it doesn't present his replies to the comments which answer some questions. Don't get me wrong though, he's still an a-hole for not giving up his seat. I don't care how tired I am, if there is someone who has more need of a seat than me then I will gladly vacate it for them.
Jolita zit 3 years ago
Never seen a bus with only two seats. She could ask someone else. But I guess flipping out on the youngest generation is universal thing in all countries. I once was screamed at just because some old dude pull over my car at the petrol station and wasn't happy that I didn't move the car the second I fill my tank. Even tho I need to pay at register first for it to be able to be used again. But he went to the petrol station ant start screaming to move my car (I was buying some food as we traveled around the country). There were other 5 petrol pumps. But he went ballistic over me. Cuz I am young female with a Learner sticker on the back of my car. I moved the car.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
If you think equality has “consequences,” then you don’t believe in equality.
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Magicalmarilyn 3 years ago
When I was pregnant I did not expect anyone to do anything for me. I ride the bus, I stand if there is no seating. I know what it's like to work ten hours on your feet and be dead tired but I do choose to do it. I don't expect to have someone give up their seat for me because maybe they have had a long day and are really tired. And just how many other people were on that bus? I'm sure others could have given her a seat. Why didn't the old man do it at first if the millennials are so bad?
Daphne Williams 3 years ago (edited)
Pregnancy can come with a wide variety of side effects, from the minor to the truly awful. If she falls, it could be a trip to the hospital, or the loss of her child. If you are able-bodied, and won't be seriously injured if you fall down, you should give up for seat for people that might be, including the disabled, elderly, and pregnant. Period. This is just fundamental human decency. I've been exhausted on the bus plenty of times, and I've always given up my seat for someone that looks like they could be more seriously injured if they fell down. It's truly disheartening to see so many people can't see this.
Kat Hi 3 years ago
Sry, but the pregnant woman can not expect everyone to please her, just because she is pregant and a single mom. So what? Others have to work 10 hours straight standing. And yes - that IS pain in your feet. It´s missing respect from her side. Not the other way around. Start thinking clearly please.
Kat Hi 3 years ago
yeah...common sense, that you have to give away your seat...your own needs count nothing...when there a woman, who put herselve in that situation and then expects everyone to take care of her. Otherwise you are an ashole. Like this post here showes. Jesus, I f*****g hate this world. GUY - I ´M WITH YOU. It´s the other ones who are asholes. Definitly. It´s just f****d up and twistet moralism.
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
So why does he have to give up his seat and none of the others do? Anyway, you’ll always be the asshole when it’s about breeders, because they are somehow holy and untouchable. I agree with the guy. She made a choice, live with it.
Laura Pantazis 3 years ago
I would have said NTA. I feel for the guy. Standing for 10 hours straight is extremely hard on the feet. There were others who could have given up their seats.
Barbz (He/They) 3 years ago
This is kinda hypocritical... he gave her the "it was your choice, abortion and the pill are free, car blah blah" But its HIS choice to work at a job that aches his feet, its HIS choice to take public transit, its HIS CHOICE to not take his own advice and get a car. He's an able-bodied human that isn't suffering through the agony that is carrying another being in your ovaries. His self-centered being ended up with a pregnant woman and an elderly man falling. The man could've hurt himself and the woman could've lost her baby. he is the a-hole.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Nobody chooses to be poor and have a bad job. You sound like Donald Trump.
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Serenity Kinney 3 years ago
THAT IS IT! I HAVE LOST ALL MY FATE IN HUMEN POEPLE. I WANT YOU TO KNOW, GUY IN POST, THAT YOU ARE A BAD BAD PERSON, I HOPE YOU FALL WHEN YOU GET OLD, OR IN ANOUTHER MULTIVURES WHEN YOU ARE A PREGNET WOMEN, YOU ARE THE WORST ONE EVER. i am 11 and i hate, HATE, HATE!!! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago (edited)
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Laura Dawson 3 years ago
I think it is fair he is an asshole - we can apply his thinking to his situation, if he's on his feet 10hrs a day & feels pain, get a desk job. It's not like it was an everyday occurrence. A heavily pregnant woman can be unbalanced & a lot of women can barely walk for more than a few minutes at a time due to the pressure. He seems to be a bit of a snob - who uses the word "breeding" that's like Nazi talk. Her circumstances are not relevant. She only asked if she could sit down. He is a grade A asshole.
Shombuly 3 years ago
Give this bs a rest folks. The stable bulges in danger of toppling entirely with so many high horses. Before declaring judgement, carefully self-assess and ensure that you are an infallible paragon of virtue who has NEVER done or said anything you regret. If you indeed find yourself flawless, ...well then you're full of s**t. So by all means, comment away till your dark deceptive heart's content.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I enjoyed reading this, but it’s also just platitudes. Just say your opinion and move on.
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menna asf (he/him) 3 years ago
Thats disgusting. WHat goes on in your mind? And defending yourself with "abortions are legal" What if this was the common case where she WANTS a child? Idk it's just common sense to give up something someone else needs more than you?
Megan Johnson 3 years ago
I can see his perspective. Working on your feet all day, maybe serving jerk customers. It sucks. I do believe he should have given up his seat. I don't think anyone had a right to demand it and berate him afterward. I can't stand strangers feeling entitled to anything from me. But he should be more mindful of trying to rid the world of common decency. One wonders how much he benefits daily from the societal "rules" he's rebelling against. He might find life a lot harder and less enjoyable should people pay that forward to him.
BringOnTheDownvotes 3 years ago
NTA im tired of people thinking every single last "decent" action needs to be done by men. There were clearly other people on that bus and everyone looked at the young guy to step up and do the work. No. It should not be the sole responsibility of one demographic on a bus full of people. If she's in a position where she's unable to walk or stand then she wouldn't be traveling. I also agree with the fact its on her she decided to get pregnant with zero support or the other responsibil party simply because she's chosen to make her life difficult doesn't mean others need to pick up the slack. I have 3 kids and I would never expect a total stranger to do s**t for me or them let alone crucify them because they decided they didn't want to. Yall think the world owes you everything and it doesn't. Youre on own quit expecting strangers to take care of you
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
I walk with a cane on my bad days and I *still* give up my seat to the elderly and pregnant. (Or place on elevator, etc.) The only story we can ever fully know is our *own*. ..... Karma will get the OP worse than any internet comment.
GirlFriday 3 years ago
This guy is the A-hole no matter how you slice it and necessarily because he didn't give up his seat which any decent human would have done.
lara 3 years ago
Personally, I never expected anyone to make a "special" exemption for me. I was not handicapped, I was pregnant. Women all around the world get pregnant, carry babies for nine months, plow, clean house, cook, work, take care of farms, etc., and never expect anyone to make a "special case" of them. She's pregnant, not blind, not disabled, not crippled, not in any way, shape or form incapable of standing up holding onto a strap or pole. So what if her back "hurts" or she is "out of balance." Does she really expect the world to stop for her because she is pregnant/
J. Zingler 3 years ago
So, you have "No right" do sit down on specially signed seats if you are disabled or pregnant or just elderly?
lenka 3 years ago
This has nothing to do with chivalry, and everything to do with human decency. Pregnancy causes physical pain in the hips and pelvis, swelling in the legs and feet and instability due to the weight distribution. It is not only painful, but dangerous for pregnant people to stand on public transport.
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Katie 3 years ago
Seriously this guy is an absolute tool of a person who does not have any manors what so ever
Ylenia Vitangeli 3 years ago
Yes, suggesting an abortion instead of giving up your seat, says a lot about the type of man you are...the one to avoid
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 3 years ago
I bet if the tables were turned and his pregnant wife needed a seat he would start to think differently.
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Doggo Froggo 3 years ago (edited)
My father once watched a whole train carriage of relatively young people ignore and refuse a heavily pregnant woman their seat. Obviously he gave her his seat when she got to him (he was right at the end) but it is just disgusting how thoughtless people can be. I appreciate the point that the man in the story was feeling xyz but his reasoning was unacceptable.
EQXL 3 years ago
I've had somebody jump over my crutches when I tried to get to a seat which become available after already limping into balance for a while where nobody stood up.
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Jenny Schmidt 3 years ago
I have a slightly different take, and i have been that pregnant woman. Why is it that woman should be coddled and considered as weak? For me it would be about who has a greater need. I remember reading about a US woman soccer player who while pregnant did intense workouts. And this guy is an essential worker tired from a long day. I'm not saying in this case he needed the seat more, just that it's a reasonable question to ask.
Frank Ropen 3 years ago
I bet every single one of the commenters had at least once in their life time acted rude to another person after a long exhausting day of work. Or let's change the perception. Imagine her as a Karen demanding a seat from health worker after long 10 hours shift during the corona pandemic.
Don Quixote 3 years ago
I’d bet the person who wrote this isn’t actually the guy who didn’t get up.
Kat Hi 3 years ago
I´m sry, but I am a 100% with the writer, that didn´t want to give away his seat, because he is standing all day long. It´s his right as well. Freedom of one person ends, where freedom of another person begins. And in this case, the pregnant woman wanted to take the freedom of the man with the sore feet. He was tired as well and it´s not like pregnant women can not stand at all. Also other persons, who didnt have any reason to sit (such as PAIN!!!!) could have stood up and offered the seat. Those ones, who don´t mind. So I would say it´s pretty brave from the writer and he is just a hundret percent right. He has his own problems and I wouldn´t say, being pregnant is any more reason then having sore feet after a 10 hour shift. What fuckes me off the most is this f*****g shitty moralism, that exists in society. Your really have to stop it. It´s the real thing, that makes the world worst. Bored Panda, I am not a fan anymore.
Daphne Williams 3 years ago
"And in this case, the pregnant woman wanted to take the freedom of the man with the sore feet. " - this might be the stupidest sentence I've read today. Congrats.
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Barry Publow 3 years ago (edited)
Judging is imposing your own personal moral, ethical or religious beliefs on another person who simply does not share your thoughts, opinion or point of views. Would you all just STOP it! There are more seats on the bus than the one this guy occupied. So he didn't want to give it up. More or immoral? It's no one's business but the individual who made his own person choice for his own personal reasons. All she had to do was ask someone else FFS!
Dawn Cline 3 years ago
I've recently been pregnant and I'm on the fence as well. I'd never ask someone to give up his seat. I have no idea what he was going through. I'm a grown woman. It kinda sucks to stand like that, but I did it. That being said, he was an asshole, not because he didn't give up his seat, but because he thought his reasoning made him less of an ass when, in fact, he became more disgusting.
DC 3 years ago
Of course he is the asshole. Take a pregnant woman, and everyone else, no matter the situation, automatically is wrong and wronging her. I've had a few encounters with pregnant Karens and their sense of entitlement is just impressive. It is totally about being kind and nothing else. Just as a shift of hard work isn't a visible sign that you may be exhausted, a pregnancy isn't a sign that you're weak and stressed and practically broken all the time. Also - the bus was obviously as full of people in seats as it can be during covid. Why isn't any of the other people the asshole, why him? Also, there are a lot of disabilities you don't see at first sight. I get up every single time I'm asked friendly, and often enough don't even wait to be asked, but if the first thing happening is that I'm yelled at - no chance, and if it's triplets - not my fault. Just be kind and that's about it. It will be returned.
Iapetos 3 years ago
Hope he never gets any children as he doesn't seem to comprehend the reasons why people get kids...
theo 3 years ago
There is nog real reason to get childeren. And when you het pregnant, it is still your own choice.
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brian mathieson 3 years ago
This seems like a social justice comment section. She should of been banging a dude with a car. Take a taxi next time. Not his problem.
Katchen 3 years ago
She can’t stand like anyone else; her center of gravity is altered so she’s more likely to fall over.
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Katchen 3 years ago
Have you been to Bavaria? I lived there for five months and if I stood up when the bus stopped, I would be shoved back into my seat by the people pushing past me to get out. Self-closing doors would slam in my face because the people a few steps in front of me would not hold the door for the people behind them. An old lady getting on a train tripped getting on and the people closest to her stared at her, rather than helping her up.
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Katchen 3 years ago
Working the job that tires his feet is no one’s choice but his own.
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Alexis draskinis 3 years ago
So treat all pregnant women like the world should've treated your mom? I mean, your mom let a dude ejaculate inside her & ended up with you & your comments let the world know that was a mistake. And since i have no connection to you, i have no moral concerns telling your loser self how horrible the mistake of your birth truly is...
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 3 years ago
I think it's unfair to single this guy out as the asshole when any person could have offered their seat. Why does it fall on the guys to be chivalrous in this kind of situation. You can't tell me that there wasn't one single non-pregnant woman that could have offered her seat too? And I understand about how much pain he was in..I've been there too where your feet hurt so bad that they start cramping up on you. Is he an a-hole...for bringing up how the pregnancy is not his fault...yeah. For not giving up his seat...I'm inclined to say he wasn't the only one on that bus.
Brandy Grote 3 years ago
He was the closest to the door, apparently. He clearly said "but he can deal". He was tired, not disabled or injured or AT RISK OF FALLING.
Load More Replies... MRSS 3 years ago
Ok so I am on the fence with this so please just hear me out first. While myself personally I would have given up my seat for a pregnant woman as well as a elderly person and someone who is handicapped. I do understand this Mans thought as well. I work on my feet and have a physical job of lifting heavy car and truck parts and am at work 13hrs a day. I am fried and my feet and back kill. There were others on the bus who could have moved as well. Again, I would have moved regardless but don't pin it all on this Guy.
June 3 years ago
He could have begin with "please could you ask someone else?" maybe?
Load More Replies... JamezyJamez 3 years ago
This is a great debate topic I can use with my students. I'm a teacher in Japan and I teach jr high and high school students English debate. In Japan we have designated seats for the elderly, disabled and pregnant. Those seats are rarely occupied by others unless the train car is relatively empty and such folks aren't needing them. There isn't a culture of men giving up something for women here, but a huge reverence for the elderly. I found myself conflicted after reading this; I wasn't ready to pounce on the tired dude after his shift, though the way he described the pregnant woman was callous and undermined his argument. In any case, this would be an interesting case study to bring to my students. A learning experience is better than trading barbs online.
Evil Little Thing 3 years ago
In the US we have those seats too, and the fact that she was asking this one dude to get up instead of anyone else suggests that he was sitting there.
Load More Replies... Sum Guy 3 years ago
I'm with the guy on this... I might not agree with the wording of other things, This should have ended with the No and either she try someone else or stand. Sure it would have been nice for this guy to stand up, but she isn't entitled to the seat unless it's a marked priority seat.
Mimi777 3 years ago
True. I’ve been pregnant and had a really tough one and was miserable all the time especially when I had to walk or stand. I never felt right asking someone for their seat I didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to say yes. It was really nice if someone willingly got up and offered me their seat though.
Load More Replies... giovanna 3 years ago
It's not HER fault you decided to have a job where you have to stand for 10 hours and ALSO don't have the money to buy a new car straight after your old one.
Charlotte Dupre 3 years ago
So if no one is at fault it's first come first serve.
Load More Replies... Tabitha L 3 years ago
Agreed. She can ask. And he can say no. Both are fine. But yelling at someone for not giving up their seat is not OK.
Load More Replies... Freddie Saturn 3 years ago
He is not alone you know. Just unlucky for him sit next to her. I bet plenty of seats on the bus, just everybody just want to make him a scapegoat.
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 3 years ago
I agree. Every able bodied person around her is the AH. At least ONE of them should have let her have the seat. I bet those same people that do not care if she falls and loses the baby are pro life people that say no to women's choice of having an abortion, but could care less about them once they are born.
Load More Replies... Laura Craig 3 years ago
Why do people like this always talk like women magically get pregnant all by themselves. "It was HER choice to get pregnant". When I was pregnant it was with my long term partner of many years. All through my pregnancy I was preparing to be the stable nuclear family. Two months after I gave birth, he left me for the mistress I didn't know he had. I didn't CHOOSE to become a single mother. I didn't CHOOSE to be solely responsible for my child both emotionally and financially. I didn't CHOOSE any of that, but you know what, I dealt with it and raised a gorgeous, wonderful boy. We need to have some compassion for one another as a society. Otherwise, what are we doing?
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Laura, stop being a dumb liar. We women have had to fight for our right to choose. Barry is right, you think everything is about you. Like every other Becky / Karen. Super self centered and zero self awareness, talking about your weird little life and then demanding society give you more. Ew ew ew. You’re the kind of woman who has the right to choose and yet isn’t worthy of it. Just ready to throw all your power back into the hands of a man because you’re too feeble minded to control your own body. Gross, and you have kids. Vom. 🤢
Load More Replies... Lis A 3 years ago
YTA for the line about not being able too afford a car. Maybe she's using public transit as a green alternative.
Alexis draskinis 3 years ago
Or maybe her car met the same fate as his...
Load More Replies... Stille20 3 years ago
The idea that her getting an abortion is the simpler solution to you giving up your seat for 10 minutes just shows how self centered this person is. I get it, he is tired, and it is rude of this woman to presume, but when you refuse to give up a seat to someone who needs it more, expect scorn.
María Hermida 3 years ago
Who decides she needs it more? Why? Because she is pregnant? Or because she is a woman? Unless it is a priority seat, she had no right to that seat. True, it would be nice, but it's not compulsory, and the fact that she's quick to use her "single mother" status to gain an advantage is disgusting.
Load More Replies... arlene ng 3 years ago
It's the "breeding" for me. Could be a troll simply because of the fact that he's sharing it online, but as a pregnant woman I've seen people act that way ( it didn't bother me the least tbh)
Isabella 3 years ago
I call it breeding too. Humans are animals as any other, no superior at all. Oftentimes worse than earthworm. And yes, humans breed. If you are expecting and wanting the baby - you may want to call it otherways, but in biological terms and factual notes - breeding is correct form. Same as foetus, not a baby. And pregnant woman not mother.
Load More Replies... Rissie 3 years ago (edited)
Having to work and stand on your feet 10 hours a day and using public transport complemented with a nice brisk 20 minute walk is a choice too. According to American standards. Dude needs to realize her life is just as sucky as his and both are just living by the rules of society. He is the only one with an actual choice at that specific point in time and that's to be an asswhipe or to be a general nice person. He made clear what he is by even putting that reasoning out there. An egotistical self overrated individual. If the use of his car was really just an insurance payout away, giving up your seat once in public transport wouldn't be a problem. Forker :)
Frank Ropen 3 years ago
Sure because we all could freely decide which jobs we get.
Load More Replies... Kisses4Katie 3 years ago
What state is he in where abortions are free? I've never heard of one.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Me either! Maybe he means on a sliding scale? Or does Medicare offer misoprostol or whatever? Planned Parenthood in Maryland and Virginia charge based on income so technically I guess it could be free if you’re unemployed?
Load More Replies... Leo H 3 years ago
Ever notice they single out "a guy"...and not any other passanger..how do we know he isnt disabled or has a medical condition. Why isnt reddit karen giving up her seat?
Stille20 3 years ago
This guy would who gave us great detail about his day and pain and why he was so tired would certainly have told us he had a disability.
Load More Replies... Sandra 3 years ago
There are a couple of conclusions 1. There were other people to give up their seat, not only him. 2.yes she was pregnant, you are tired and balance is bad, i am pregnant but i also know how it is to be exhausted after a day of work. 3. I dont like the way he presents on the pregnancy and choice, yes it is a choice to keep or not the baby. Her mother most likely had that choice as well, as long as u dont know what pregnancy feels like, try to empathise. 4 she can lose the pregnancy if she falls, if you fall u get a bruise. She falls, she ends up in the hospital.
Jackson Gohn 3 years ago
She asked. He said no. That should've been the end of the story. This is a free country and she and the old man we're out of line by expecting somebody to do something that they aren't required to do.
Ant Harris 3 years ago
Sorry but not sorry, going to be unpopular but tough. The guy is working hard and has politely explained yet the woman's entitlement is the problem here. It is part her choice. Being pregnant is a condition not an illness. If it was someone genuinely disabled or clearly old and in need then I would offer it and wouldn't even avoid it like this guy (he said he tried not to make eye contact). However, just because you are a single mum to be doesn't give you magic entitlement, morals are not universal nor are so called manors. In my country this woman and child are likely to be given a lot of money by the state that's not including the reduced healthcare and schooling. In other democratic capitalistic societies they wouldn't get the state support she and her child will, all paid for by this hard working man. Nah, sorry let the man rest, that's probably all she's done all day anyway.
Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago
i agree with you on this. she literally could have asked someone else
Load More Replies... Adam Francis 3 years ago
There's a lot of problems with this. We live in such a disconnected society. We're in this world together. We're responsible for other humans no matter what their circumstances or ours.
María Hermida 3 years ago
No. Sorry. That's not true. Do you give money or buy food to every homeless person you see? Do you donate money to the nearest soup kitchen? Do you volunteer to visit the lonely elderly in your neighbourhood? No? Then stop being hypocritical and stop that nonsense of "we are responsible for other humans". We are not, and nobody really cares. Including you.
Load More Replies... Solrac 3 years ago
1. A young man might need to be seated too, for example because of pain or tiredness. 2. There were other people there too. 3. He could have just said his feet hurt, because social pressure and comments can get nasty. 4. The whole breeding reasoning and comments are unnecessary. 5. This story seems fake.
Joe McRee 3 years ago (edited)
I'm sure she is in pain. But couldn't she wait like 5 minutes until someone got off the bus to take their seat. I don't blame this guy for not giving up his seat. I hate interacting with people irl. I would have just turned the other way and then it would be like a signal to her not to talk to me and go ask someone else.
EQXL 3 years ago
He's clearly a douche, but more upset about some things he's saying in his reasoning than actually not standing up. She could have asked somebody else as well and nobody stood up before she even asked him. And on the devils advocate part, what does feminism say? I know I now sound like a D**k, but we live in a world where people can also get offended when you (try/offer) help them. Are we in this case to assume a pregnant woman does need help?
Heather Williams 3 years ago
Any one of the people on the bus could have given up their seats, it does help if it is the closest seat to the door though. And if you are sitting in a disabled seat (some buses and trains have these) without a disability (visible or invisible) then you must give that seat up to someone who needs it. I have plantar fasciatis which causes serious (and sometimes excruciating) pain in my heels and is triggered by standing for long periods but when I took public transport I would always offer my seat to anybody that got on rather than just making a fuss about it.
Frankenfrog 3 years ago
Pregnancy doesn't entitle you to a damn thing. People need to get off their high horses.
Justin Marshall 3 years ago
Pregnancy is a choice and not a condition. Where's the sympthay for people with cancer and are too weak to stand? Where's the sympathy for people who had knee surgery and are in pain? Society expects everyone to bow to the whim and command of every Preggo just because "it's the decent thing to do". I will never give up my seat because someone is pregnant. I will always give it up for the disabled or elderly. As a friend once said regarding pregnant women on public transport: "She should have screwed someone with a car!"
Chordelia Marie 3 years ago
Honestly, if I was the dude I would have said no too. Is He an asshole i mean a little but so is the lady no one has to hive her their seat and it would be just as easy to be like oh ok and i dont know ask someone else.
Random Anon 3 years ago
I do not think the dude is an asshole. Giving up your seat or any sort of "courtesy" decisions is kind of like charity to me. You do or you don't, it's up to you and none of anyone's business why.
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 3 years ago
Sure, everyone has an equal right, or at least first come first serve. But it us up to each individual to decide if they want to help a fellow human being in need. Has no one ever helped you before?
Load More Replies... Lily Mac 3 years ago (edited)
It would be different if he had an invisible disability or something but he was just tired after work, welcome to the club mate. I'm on my feet for 8-10 hours in my place too and I know you should still give up your seat for someone who is pregnant. It's not that she's tired and uncomfortable it's that its literally more dangerous for someone who's pregnant to stand. He just sounds like a baby. Having said that, he's not the only AH in the situation because nobody offered their seat initially either.
peter howard 3 years ago
Why is everyone jumping to the tune of he told her to get an abortion when that isn't the case at all. It's idiots like you who convince yourselves of other people's wrong doings. Don't jump on the band wagon and think for yourself
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Because this is a collection of some of the dumbest liars on our side of the political spectrum. BP houses some of the dumbest people online who aren’t Republicans.
Load More Replies... Phoenix 3 years ago
Bit hard, if the guy was the only one targeted for not getting up it doesn’t make sense. I’m sure there were plenty of other people on that bus/train that could’ve given it up compared to him, who accordingly works like 10 hours a day on his feet. However it is simple courtesy to give up your seat to those with disadvantages. And yes it was her fault for getting pregnant, or not and just decided to keep the baby. But imagine when your mom was pregnant, would you want someone to give up their seat. Also sayings breeding is just wrong.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
This asshole also fails to understand that, once he’s home he’ll be off his feet and feeling like new again very shortly. When the pregnant lady gets home she’ll still be pregnant—-sore, incredibly uncomfortable, and now potentially in pain or losing her baby, since she and the nice older gentleman both fell because selfish asshole planted his ass in his seat and ignored them. I hope Karma’s got one hell of a medieval “party” planned for this bastard.
fenixrising1972 3 years ago
I'm a woman and I've had three kids and I would never expect someone else to make themselves less comfortable just so I can be lazy. It's not that hard to stand just because you're pregnant.
Jods 3 years ago
It’s not as bad as the incident in the UK last week. A lady slipped outside her house and because of her disability could not get to her feet unaided. She asked a Royal Mail postie if he could help her up but he said he couldn’t as he was too knackered and simply walked away. I don’t care which country any such incidents happen in I just worry where our common decency and willingness to help others has gone.
Claudette Zewell 3 years ago
Everyone pays. Everyone is entitled to sit. Unfortunately seats are hard to get esp peak hrs. No its the guy’s right to sit. Its not an automatic entitlement. She got pregnant. Pregnancy is s condition, not a serious affliction.
Daphne Williams 3 years ago
Pregnancy can come with a wide variety of side effects, from the minor to the truly awful. If she falls, it could be a trip to the hospital, or the loss of her child. If you are able-bodied, and won't be seriously injured if you fall down, you should give up for seat for people that might be, including the disabled, elderly, and pregnant. Period. This is just fundamental human decency.
Load More Replies... Israel Martinez 3 years ago
Every bus has a section for elderly, handicapped or pregnant persons ... but, even if there was no other seats available, that means the bus is packed and if it's packed, that means there about 20+ other people that could have offered her a seat ... she just chose his and he paid the price for not "complying" ...
Paul Viktor 3 years ago
If we are talking about how he is an "as**ole" because, even after he politely disagree to give away his seat, he still was "rude" on social-morale aspect of the situation - don't forget to call out pregnant woman and that old man an as**oles too, because she didn't need to call him names just because he refused to give a seat. And old man could have just given the seat without calling him names as well. Being pregnant or an old man doesn't mean you can be as**oles to everyone around you, as well as being tired doesn't mean you can be a jerk.
*˚tacocat˚* 3 years ago
I honestly think this guy is a bit rude, but he's had a hard day, give him a break. She could have asked someone else, as if he was as tired as he says it would have been visible. But him saying she can just get an abortion and shouldn't have a kid is definitely not right.
RoseTheMad 3 years ago (edited)
I'll get disliked for this, but don't think he's 100% an asshole. How was anyone on that bus to know he wasn't invisibly disabled? (as far as we can tell, he isn't, but how was anyone to know, as well as the fact he isn't required to divulge his disability to a stranger) Anyone on that bus could have given up their seat. As for the old man, age doesn't always = unable bodied. I have low mobility, as well as chronic pain (fibromyalgia) which can lead to fatigue and dizziness, meaning being on my feet just isn't a 100% viable idea. Some days I can walk for miles, others I can barely get down the street. I have a bus pass, and I get stares enough for that, but honestly it annoys me so much when people assume I'm perfectly able bodied and don't need a seat. Callous as it is, you have the choice to get pregnant or not in most cases. I didn't have any choice regarding my disabilities. Yet most times I still end up giving my seat up.
Anna McHugh 3 years ago
I am 100% with this guy. I don't believe that we should have any more kids; the world is terrible, life is too hard, and being human is a burden. We're shoved into this life and have no choices except fight to survive or kill ourselves. The woman who chooses to have a child has done just that - she's chosen, and she's chosen for the child she's created. NOBODY owes her anything, and she's added another burden to an already overpopulated world.
Jen Albert 3 years ago
I've seen it mentioned on Bored Panda and other places on how you can't judge people when it comes to handicap parking. When the person has the valid permit. On how just because it looks to you that person does not need the space you don't know their physical issues. How come the same is not implemented here? Why should people who look like they are in better physical shape than you be required to give up a seat.
Crochet lady 3 years ago
Do people not realize this guy is trolling for a reaction? Lots of people farm for downvotes. This was a ridiculous fairytale.
Chufi Giaffo 3 years ago
Hard to believe anyone could b that stupid. I'm 90 and without hesitation I would have offered her my seat.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago (edited)
You’re 90?! Wow. I guess I never think of the elderly online
Load More Replies... KT 3 years ago
Wow that guy is a pathetic excuse for a human being. We're all f*****g tired but you god dam give your seat to a pregnant woman you piece of s**t
Luke Oakridge 3 years ago
Why are you assuming that the pregnant woman is more tired than he is?
Load More Replies... Martha Murphy 3 years ago
This guy seems to be selfish and have a lack of empathy, as well as bad manners, which makes him a jerk.That makes him similar to a lot of other people. If he's interested in becoming a better person, he certainly has that opportunity. So his feet hurt. How does he know the other person's feet (or back, etc) aren't hurting worse than his?
Jade Lynn - Panda's Brat 3 years ago
The way this guy writes about the experience does make him sound like a jerk. If he had been nicer about the situation and explained to her why he did not want to get up then she could have moved on to the next person and asked them to get up. Just because he is closest to the door doesn't mean he's the one who is most able to give up a seat. When I did 12 hour shifts on my feet all day all I wanted to do for the rest of the night was sit.
John C 3 years ago
I'm reminded of George Carlin's response to those "Baby On Board" car signs: "So I'm supposed to modify my driving habits because your birth control failed?" :) In that situation I think I would have offered my seat, but that's my choice. This guy made his choice. I will not shame him for it, and shame on the rest of you for doing so.
Random Panda 3 years ago
"Baby On Board" signs are for first responders in case of an accident, so they know to look for the baby first.
Load More Replies... Laura Chen 3 years ago
When i was pregnant, i would never compel anyone to make them get up and then shame them after. You don't know their situation. What if you shame them and they bring out a cane? Currently (post pregnancy), I had a stroke, have back issues, walk with a limp and have bad balance. I would feel horrible if a pregnant woman tried compelling me to let her sit and I'll have to explain all that without a physical indication (cane). Obviously i would be grateful if a stranger gave up a seat for me while pregnant, but that would be voluntary. I wouldn't thrust my stomach in someone's face to make them get up unless it was dire need.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
It’s funny how the voices of pregnant women all got slammed to the bottom for not agreeing that the man was wrong.
Load More Replies... Casey McAlister 3 years ago
I mean, yeah, his attitude is kinda assholish, but I don't really believe that the whole bus was full of old, pregnant and disabled people. They all, apart from one old man, just happily sat there. What's weird is that he decided to tell his family for some reason and take it to the Internet. It's such a ridiculous non-issue, really.
Aragorn II Elessar 3 years ago
I was raised to treat women respectfully: holding doors, offering my seat, offering to pay for stuff, etc.
lenka 3 years ago
I've been pregnant using public transport in Australia. Yes, most of the time people make room but I would honestly not recomend it. I had to ride standing up more often than I should have, and sometimes the pain in my hips and pelvis was actually enough to ask someone to move for me when no one offered. On one occassion I even gave up my seat to an elderly lady when no-one offered her a seat.
Load More Replies... CCTheVampire 3 years ago (edited)
I understand this guy completely. My father also works 10 hours a day as a construction worker(he's also a single parent, as my mother left us in 2018), and at his current job, goes up and down 8 flights of stairs pretty much all day checking on the other foremen and making sure they're doing their jobs. When he comes home, he's usually limping. So I don't think this guy is the a**e. It was just by chance that lady went up to him. She could have gone up to anyone else. I'd say she was at fault here, but I'm open for debate.
Hale Hoa 3 years ago
I think it is his right to not give up the seat. He is not a nice guy but reading what he has to go through after 10 long work hours it is reasonable. I am a woman and also had a kid but it was my choice so I didn’t expect any special treatment. I do not think women should expect special treatment for being pregnant. If women want equality then they should be tough enough to act their part.
Barbara Love 3 years ago
So everyone else on the bus kept their seats also right? I remember years and years ago taking the bus to work from Oakland to San Francisco, I was pregnant there were no empty seats so I had to stand and no one offered their seat to me male nor female. So I stood. Would not have thought of asking a guy for his seat. And the crying because she didn’t get her way is a bit much. We judge far too much without giving a thought to the other person and the choice was his after all. And if the old guy and pregnant woman had been holding on they would not have fallen. Bottom line we all have the choice of deciding for ourselves what we want to do period, without owing the world a explanation. It was his choice and he had the right to say no.
Tammy Gundaker 3 years ago
I don’t like his line of thinking, he don’t have a car because of an accident... maybe her car was totaled too? The getting pregnant part was asinine, but you know what? Women want equality? Well, that was equality.
carol Vaughn 3 years ago
I agree with him totally, so she pregnant, it not his fault, I will give up a sit for the elderly or handycap, but not a pregnant woman, and yes I know how it feels to stand on my feet while pregnant, as for the fall, it was the reason for the bus drivere to slam on the brake, if I was the driver I would of told both pregnant woman and old man to stop or get off they are causing a problem, with the other riders,
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
I get being tired, but this accusation that it's her own fault for becoming pregnant is bonkers.
Laura Mende 3 years ago
Happened to me with an old lady once. Same story as this guy, I worked 10 hrs and did overtime as well. In the subway home, there was this old lady and I just said I'm tired too. So what is this all about? It's not a crime to be tired, next time I will share my seat...
Antonia Brighton-Dali 3 years ago
Absolutely down to personal choice. I personally would not give up my seat. I get nauseated on public transport and need to sit down (facing forwards only) to minimise that. That answer doesn't change for elderly people either. Too many unpleasant interactions from trying to be nice. Possibly disabilities. No one owes you a seat in life. If you get to the seat first, fair enough. I'd never ask someone to move so I could sit even though standing up means I feel extremely sick during the journey and sometimes for up to an hour afterwards. It.Is.No ones.Obligation.To.Stand.Up.Just.Because.You.Decided.To.Add.To.The.Overpopulation.Of.The.Planet. (Say it again for the people at the back). Your kid, your choice. Not my problem. (Y) 'No' Is a perfectly valid answer, if someone continues harassing after that point it should be treated like any other nuisance passenger on public transport. Ask them nicely to leave you alone or you'll get the driver/conductor and have them escorted off.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I would have given up my seat, because I think it should be a knee jerk reaction to just be nice and regret it later lol. But I fully agree with his premise and I think it’s immoral of her to put her CHOICE on someone else. It isn’t the man’s choice to be poor and need a bus. It’s the woman’s choice to get pregnant and keep it knowing she will have to be on the bus pregnant. I think it’s a valid choice, but one she shouldn’t impose on a random man who did not impregnate her.
Rebecca Bandy 3 years ago
It’s manners 101, which means he was rude to not offer, but it also means she was rude for asking. While his logic is technically true, it’s not gracious. And asking someone else to give up his seat is also not gracious, because she doesn’t know his situation. It’s not an entitlement contest. We’re on the honour system to be gracious to others. That’s what manners are.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I SOOO agree. It’s a politeness thing that should have been unspoken. If he didn’t get up, the assumption should just be he’s too tired or disabled to stand. Both parties would need to be more polite. Are you British?
Load More Replies... Rita Shapiro 3 years ago
I don't think it's wrong to point out that having a child is a choice. Unfortunately, it may not stay that way for long... there is a lot of opposition to abortion, birth control, and even rudimentary sex ed. And I'd also like to point out that there are invisible disabilities such as heart and mobility problems. Someone might feel that they are entitled to my seat because they are gestating, but I'm not giving it up because standing is painful for me. I should not be judged for not explaining why.
Nymphadora Tonks 3 years ago
It was rude of him to refuse to give up his seat. You don't know how long she has been standing. You can die from pregnacy and child birth, but not from standing. In a way, the woman was also rude. She could've asked someone else for their seat, but instead she begged for the one she knew she wasn't going to get. Both people could've been nicer.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
You DO know how long he was standing. If it’s a standing competition, he would win. So by your thinking, he should have the seat since he stood longer.
Load More Replies... Lisa 3 years ago
I just think he's an asshole because he lectured her instead of just saying no. And there were other people on the bus who also could give up their seat. It's been awhile since I used public transit but there should be seating specifically for pregnant/elderly near the driver. And if one chooses to sit in one of those seats, be prepared to give it up.
Vanja Timmers 3 years ago
I would prefer sitting too, but the feeling I get from doing something nice for someone else is more important to me
June 3 years ago
One day, in the subway. All the seats were taken by middle aged men. A heavily pregnant woman came in. None of the men gave her a sit. Then I stood up on my crutches with my broken leg to give her mine. She said "no, crutches, broken leg... it's ok". I insisted. All the men stood up to give their seat. We have assholes here, but not such assholes. Not about the facts, but about the way he talks about it. Insensitive, egoistic asshole.
Kat Hi 3 years ago
"Nobody’s forced to give up their seat for a pregnant woman, but it’s a sign that something’s probably off with your values if you choose not to." So all he does is, he takes his own needs serious and has his bounderies. It´s not his problem. If it s so risky for the woman to take a bus, as you describe it...then well, maybe she shouldn´t take the bus. She can ASK. But he has the RIGHT to neglect and say NO. Because he HAS A GOOD REASON. He is in pain. That is a good reason. She is the one who has to accept. She cannnot expect that and she has to respect the needs of others as well. It´s a acceptable reason. So nothing wrong. She can ask someone else. And that´s it. Shouting at him for falling -sry, but that´s twistet fault. It´s not his fault. It happends and if there s a guilty person, that it s the busdriver for not looking after his passengers. He saw, that there s a pregnant women. He is in charge. Not the one whose feet are sore. Stop twisting things up
Asking for a Friend 3 years ago
It’s incredibly inconsiderate not to give up one’s seat to someone who is pregnant or elderly. This happened to me when I was pregnant, and even had people on MUNI bumping up against my belly. It’s shameful to be honest. Tired feet are no comparison to how a woman’s body can feel towards the end of pregnancy. It’s called compassion. Sad that so many people don’t get that concept. For the record, I always give up my seat for pregnant women, elderly people, and kids. Just don’t be a punk!
Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 3 years ago
*perspective: I am a female who has had 2 full pregnancies* This was on BF as a very truncated version, unsure whose was first as I don't It was worded on there differently and I sided with the guy. I think adding "they fell" and one of them being elderly is supposed to gain empathy. so convenient he was elderly and waited that long- which is partially why I don't think the story was true. That said...she should be able to sit, but why only that guy? Why didn't someone immediately offer? He is in pain as well. Maybe he had hidden disability and had a balance problem? Are there handles to hold onto?
William Waterstone 3 years ago
What a load of judgmental crap. The guy had legitimate reasons and was obviously not the only one on the bus. Others could have given their seat up. The guy was correct not to make the sacrifice as it was not good for his health either. He was right to take a stand by not standing. He had to deal with the fallout of judgmental idiots and could have handled that a bit better, but overall he did the right thing and those in judgment of him, did the wrong thing.
Luna Laluna 3 years ago
Theoretic question, what if he'll have hidden disability? Not necessarily happy to talk about it in front of everyone in the bus. Who's more privileged to have a sit, pregnant women or disabled man?
Dippin Dot 3 years ago
Again, don't judge a book by its cover... this guy appeared to be in able health, but what if he wasn't? It's just like when you see someone parked in the handicapped spot who looks like they are in quite good health, but in reality has a darn good reason to be parked there. Both handled the situation poorly, but just because you are pregnant doesn't give you a free pass to have strangers bend over backwards for you because you ask.
Jim Patrick 3 years ago
I am pretty damn sure he would have stayed that he was not in able body healthy if wasn't after listing all his other excuses, I worked on my feet, I have a 15 min walk after, ... I am sure he would not have missed staying it also. The fact is he is just one of the many that think they are entitled, my stuff is more important than anyone else. Lack of consideratoin(empathy, morals) for others because he is too important. I work on feet 8,10, sometimes 12 hours a day with a lot of fast paced walking, stop & go and by no means young any longer(especially in my field of work), I would have not hesitated and she would not even had to ask because I would have already offered my seat to her.
Load More Replies... Very Bored Panda 3 years ago
I am on both sides he could have just politely said he declined and said but you can ask another person.
Sam Yobado 3 years ago
Where I'm from there are designated bus seats in the front for the elderly, disabled, pregnant or with children. You can sit there but must move if someone who needs it gets on. On packed buses those seats are always full. I was once standing on a packed bus when an elderly woman with a cane got on. A young man refused to give her his seat, and the rest of those front seats were already taken with people who they were for. Others were offering seats to her, including other elderly and women with children. Because it was a designated seat though, the bus driver was allowed to stop the bus until the young man got off the bus, not up from his seat, off the bus, because he didn't follow the rule. The transit police were called and he got off when he saw them coming. He was ticketed, and not allowed back on. It delayed us all 10 minutes, but we didn't care, we all clapped and cheered. People like this exist and some require consequences.
Daphne Williams 3 years ago
The craziest part is you think being an asshole is okay.
Load More Replies... elStiJneriNO 3 years ago
Since the guy asked "AITA". Yes you are. A "No,can you ask someone else please" vs "why don't you abort your baby, that's not my problem"
Just JoLynn 3 years ago
You do realize he didn't actually say those words to her right? He says he politely said no then expressed his dickheaded opinion on the matter when explaining the story.
Load More Replies... 1 year ago
Instead of those one person seats, I think public transit should consider having bench seats so people can just scoot over and everyone's happy Passengers can also consider investing in one of those folding stick seats when you need to sit down and finding a public transit seat it's just not possible
1 year ago
An alternative when you can't give up your own seat is the scoot over and share half of it if design allows Another alternative is for passengers to consider investing in one of those folding stick seats when you just can't find a seat when you need it
Daniel Saenz 2 years ago
Pregnant, disabled, and elderly all have priority seating on the bus and for any person not wanting to give up their seat you truly are a special kind of asshole get your head out of your ass and realize the world doesn't revolve around you these people deserve the seats more than your privileged ass if that was my mother or gf you did that I would have lost it. People like you are lazy scum.
Dio 3 years ago
I don't think he was in the wrong. People are loosing their s**t about him bringing up abortion, but it's not made clear if he said that directly to her or not. If he did then yea he was out of line, but I think he just said that for the story so people aren't saying "well what if she couldn't afford it". Then people are bringing up that it was his choice to work a job where he's on his feet all day, and yes it was his choice but he was on the bus first and he has a right to the seat.
AspieGirl88 3 years ago
While it may be “first come, first serve”, meaning you aren’t going to be physically forced to give up your seat; should you choose to remain seated, you merely lower your self-worth that much more & in the eyes of (almost) everyone in the vicinity, you’ve become a snake. It’s perhaps even considered social suicide, depending on how many people find out about your reluctance to help someone in need. While other people could’ve solved the issue much quicker, they didn’t & in this instance, you get singled out. Could’ve been handled a little bit better, that’s for sure... 🤷♀️
Cherry 3 years ago
Honestly this is just selfish thinking. If she's a single mother, she could've also been coming home from a job where she'd been on her feet all day. When I was pregnant, my feet would swell 5× their normal size if I was on them for an hour. I also suffered from dizziness and could fall from standing on STEADY ground. Yeah, i agree someone else could've given up their seat, but she asked him and he could've been nicer about it. He doesn't know if she worked the same amount or longer and was having the same issues
Katie Sheets 3 years ago
I mean he should have offered the seat to her BUT I TOTALLY GET WHAT HE MEANS ABOUT PARENTS EXPECTING THEM AND THEIR KIDS TO BECOME THE CENTER OF EVERYONES UNIVERSE THAT THEY ARE AROUND. Sure the safety factor is the biggest thing here since she was pregnant. But dude was exhausted and I know that level of tired when most people dont! Sonetimes ya just gotta be the bigger person even when it is PHYSICALLY so hard to.
Jeff Caligari 3 years ago
Hey if she had practiced social distancing she wouldnt have gotten pregnant, lucky its not covid. Covid might be better to have than a baby. Probably cheaper. Was she wearing a mask? Did she cough on you.. you should get checked out. I hope you are Ok.
Tamara Kroonen 3 years ago
The bus driver could also have made an exception so the pregnant lady could still sit on one of the other free seats. Some people want to let a pregnant lady sit, but due to health reasons they just can't. Why should you defend your "NO" with your medical record? It is not that pregnant women have a monopoly on seats. This guy had a really good reason for not giving up his seat. Although he could have been more polite and suggested her to please find someone else. Don't jugde a book by its cover. You never know why someone declines. It isn't fair to just blame it on "he is a lazy millenium".
Daniel Hurtado 3 years ago
Mom told me a story, when she was young, in any public transit system, no matter which one, people used to take care of disable people, women, childs and elders, when one of these peopl got up all the males inmediatly stood up and offer their seats cause the meaning of chivalry was not seing as some sort of "male chauvinism" that current gens believe is bad, we used to treat women the same way we wanted to be treated, because thats is respect, because open the car door to a woman is respectful, because to slide the chair to help her sit is respectful not some sort of disgusting idea people nowadays have, up to this day I changed my mind and my behaviour, If you are not pregnant, elder or disable i dont care how much your feets hurt my seat is mine, because is not fair that the "feminism" is wanting to impose benefits and not caring about duties specially for women, because the patriarchy is just the hay doll they make to have an evil enemy to fight, and not something real.
Daniel Hurtado 3 years ago
This behaviour is consequence of this modern political times, and is disgusting to read this kind of expressions, "You shoulndt get pregnant if you cant afford a car", "Abortions is free why dont you get one", this AH deserve less respect than a used toilet paper, because his attitude is deplorable.
Load More Replies... Truth is a B**** 3 years ago
NTA whatsoever! Next let some guy with a car know I you up. Women who play the “single mom” card are annoying as F!
Hypatia Vasilios 3 years ago
He's clearly trolling, no one behaves like that. He's just winding everyone up.
Elida Lechuga 3 years ago
Not the asshole for not giving up the seat but yes an asshole for your attitude and choice of words.
Willson Gordon 3 years ago
Wow, it's unbelievable how the shining moral sense is coming out of ppl mouths in these situations when it's not about themselves. Yelling and verbally abuse someone because he didn't give his sit to a pregnant woman isn't just as socially immoral as not giving your sit to a pregnant woman? His mistake was his remarks, and her mistake was to play the victim while there were plenty of other ppl sitting around. He didn't want to give her his sit. So what? Maybe he was sick or maybe he also had a problem. Not all disabilities are as visible as a pregnancy, you know? I actually feel bad for the education of the future baby. All of you with flawless moral sense, did you ever stand 10h up on your feet? That gives backpain and affects the balance as well! Ofc, everything is ok with bullying someone, but it's an odious crime to not give up your sit to a pregnant woman. You should all be ashamed of yourself just as much as you say that guy should be ashamed of what he did.
Cindy Bock 3 years ago
They singled out the guy for not giving up his seat. How many other people were there onnthe bus? Did any of them even offer her a seat before she HAD TO ASK this man for his seat. He was on his feet 10 hours working, that does include the time he walked to the bus or to hisjob. He was on his feet longer than a person sleeps at night. I. Can understand him saying no, there were other people on the bus who she could ask. It isn’t his job to make sure she had a seat. I don’t think he should be singled out. That isn’t fair!
Jacqueline Burgess 3 years ago
In my view two wrongs don't make a right. If you are on your feet and tired I get it. The burning pain is excruciating. That is sufficient reason enough. The other part of his supporting arguments was irrelevant. The woman could have also asked openly for someone to kindly offer their seat because of her situation. I am a female. I have had two small kids strapped to me on a crowded bus. It has never been my view that anyone should feel obligated to give me their seat. Its a matter of choice. Yes I do believe in chivalry but in this case its like we want to crucify the guy for being human.
Hayley Benoit 3 years ago
well I mean I get that when your pregnant that you want a seat. But hey It wont hurt the baby to stand if you can't find one.
Nike 3 years ago
That story has exactly the same attitude - why should i care, she wanted a baby, contraception, abortions, blabla...Come on! You can apply this approach to any scenario - it’s not my fault he’s old, he wanted to live; it’s not my problem that someone is disabled, i’m also dead tired. Don’t be that miserable person. If we had this approach to life, world would be a terrible place! What I see here is complete lack of empathy. This person obviously hasn’t had a chance to develop empathy through adolescence and childhood. We’re born hardwired with capacity for empathy, but its development requires practice. The idea of working until your due date and maternity leave that lasts 3 weeks is incomprehensible for the rest of the world, but that’s a different topic 2/2
Nike 3 years ago
DC Metro 2019. 8 months pregnant, getting on the train after working all day and looking for available seat. I spot the guy who is standing and have his bag spread across 2 seats. I stand there hoping he’d move his bag, but instead, he decides to ignore me. When i finally asked him if i could seat there, he said he was saving the seat for a friend?! (He moved later looking for a friend who was suppose to get on the same train). I was shocked and disappointed, I have to admit. I’m relatevly new to the US, and in Europe there are seats reserved for elderly, disabled and pregnant. This is probably the time when i realized how cruel and cold this place is. Not to mention manners or just being polite! I’m not going to go into details about womens’ anatomy and why they’re ‘disabled’ in a way during and after pregnancy. And it’s not about me, I’m a fit mom who can handle standing after working all day, but i know other women who had terrible health issues during their pregnancies 1/2
Neill Powell 3 years ago
First and foremost Don't expect people to give you a place to sit. These days men are learning to ignore women like an unnumbered member of the rest of the people on transport. Pregnant or not. You can thank your feminist overlords for that one. If you need a place to sit, ask.
Faith Hurst 3 years ago
This could depend a lot on your pregnancy. I worked full time with both and was also a student with one. My son sat on just the right spot to cause a severe pain in my left lower back and hip. I was on my feet all day and finishing my degree, yeah, it was my choice to decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, but it was so painful that by the time I got home most nights it was too late. I never asked anyone for their seat but I as very appreciative of those who offered. When I was pregnant with my daughter I was also on my feet all day but I wasn't as sick and she never found that spot her brother did, so I felt pretty good the whole time and most of the time someone offered a seat I declined. She may have chosen to continue a pregnancy but he chose a job that kept him on his feet all day and required a 20 minute walk home from the bus. We all make decisions.
JP callaghan 3 years ago
Always give up your seat for and elderly person, pregnant lady, or someone with a disability. It's just good manners, and considerate
Blackheart 3 years ago
Well, he's an a**hole. And a stupid one at that, posting it to the internet.
Terry Cline 3 years ago
I experienced the same situation about 30 years ago. I was about 8 months pregnant and boarded the bus. No seats were available so I looked at a few of the business men sitting there hoping one would give up their seat. Nope, so I hung on the pole hoping for a smooth ride. You know who got up and told me to take his seat? A young black gang member. He was a member of the Bloods (red bandana, etc). I told him loudly so the others could hear, "Thank you, your mother raised you well." Never judge a book by its cover.
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 3 years ago
I've been reading over these comments the last few days. I hope the next generations take care of their fellow humans better than we have done. I didn't realize so many people were willing to just turn a blind eye and be selfish. Who cares how people got into their situations? We are all living right now. And we if don't look out for each other, we have no hope.
Steve in Denver 3 years ago
I would have ripped that jerk's headphones off so fast and pulled him out of that seat. Selfish little creep.
cursed--alien 3 years ago
There are reasons that someone would take a bus other than they can't afford a car. For me the reason I don't drive is because I'm scared of learning to drive cuz I'm scared of accidentally killing someone.
Jessica Pentland 3 years ago
I've had this happen to me on the London Tube. I was heavily pregnant and trying to manage a toddler. I looked around and no one would give up their seat for me. People these days...
Vicky Z 3 years ago
the serious problem is that he started judging her for her choices he had no right to do that! and sorry but yes he was rude! The polite thing would be to say I'm sorry but I have problem with my feet could you ask someone else? all the rest was unnecessary and he is asking exactly what? He expects to tell him well done? We have to care for other people too and I don't think the problem was that he was tired I'm pretty sure he wouldn't stand anyway! He just wanted to be rude!
Robin Patton 3 years ago
OK, I believe is Karma and I've got a perfect example. My husband and I were in Las Vegas and decided to take the bus to a show instead of fighting parking. On the way back the bus was pretty empty and we got to sit together. A pregnant lady got on the bus and my husband immediately gave her his seat (last one available). At the next stop a large group of scantily clad show girls got on the bus completely surrounding my hubby. It was perfect karma for his selfless act. He was a happy man.
Joshua Brenneman 3 years ago
F**k a guy with car next time. I wouldn't give you my seat after 12 hours of physical labour just because you took a hot messy creampie.
PAN-da (hehe get it) 3 years ago (edited)
(1/3) i'm gonna give my input on this, even though no one really cares: this man, he ITA. everyone down here is in the comments talking about how getting pregnant is a choice, not a condition, and yes, pregnancy is not a "condition", but it's not always a choice either. this man says that he lives in a state where abortions are free, and only 16 states have abortions paid for by taxes. while we don't know what state he's in, he is suggesting that this woman should have gotten an abortion for HIS OWN PERSONAL PREFERENCE. I REPEAT HE SAID SHE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN AN ABORTION SO SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK FOR A SEAT ON THE BUS. also, i think we are ignoring the fact that we have literally no idea the circumstances of this lady's pregnancy. all we know is that she is a single mom and the man stated she was "heavily pregnant". someone else in the comments suggested that the woman could have been raped and gotten pregnant, which is a valid theory. the woman could have gotten pregnant from a
PAN-da (hehe get it) 3 years ago (edited)
(2/3) previous relationship. maybe even a broken condom from a one night stand! WE DON'T KNOW. who is he to judge what she should and should not have done after getting pregnant? sure, maybe it was a choice to get pregnant, but that doesn't mean she's not having problems in her pregnancy! from the description, it seems like she is maybe in her third trimester, so her baby would weigh around 6 1/2 pounds, not to mention the amount of weight she may have lost/gained during the pregnancy. carrying this amount of weight can put a lot of strain on your back and legs, this is common knowledge. we and the man also have no idea what she has been doing for the day. yes, working a 9-5 job on your feet all day can be tiring, my ankles hurt after 5 hours at a concession stand, so i can't imagine 8 hours of that, but who knows? this woman could have done something way more labor intensive. even if what she was doing wouldn't make YOU tired, she is heavily pregnant. imagine working a 9-5 job on
Load More Replies... Natalie Kudryashova 3 years ago
The thing with making it about her choice though. He says it like she was asking for the seat because she chose to wear stilettos that day, a choice that affects only her. In a society, women “choosing” to “breed” is a foundation of the society continuing to exist in any shape of form. If women decided to stop “breeding”, no human being would be left alive in 100 years’ time. That is why pregnant women and children are generally more protected - they are literally the FUTURE of HUMANITY.
Natalie Kudryashova 3 years ago
Can’t recall the last time I read something so self-centred and out of touch. You are a tired but able bodied person she is a heavily pregnant person. You give up your seat, end of story. Standing in a bus when you’re tired can suck, but standing in a bus when you’re heavily pregnant can suck x10 times more. You give up your seat to the person who needs it more than you, be it because they are old or sick. You don’t own the seat, you didn’t pay any more for it than she did. Sure, you can refuse, but then you need to accept that yes you’re being the asshole. You can’t eat your cake and have it too.
Isle_of_stressed_pilots 3 years ago
YTA. I was on his side until he mentioned her "poor life choices" of getting pregnant when he literally made "poor life choices" for getting a job that results in him having sore feet.
Not Available 3 years ago
This is a great example of just about everything everyone disagrees about in society today. Some people would say him giving up his seat would be him looking at her as less or weaker but at the same time wanting equity so there must be a magic seat somewhere that all the rest of the people on the bus should find for her. Some people would argue that she got a seat from a the other person because of the other person's willingness to compete for this woman's appreciation, and the desired results happened for two of the three without adding any additional resources (seats) to the situation. I personally think you should always be respectful to people but being kind is a choice to make situation to situation. No one person owes any other person (except your own children) support, help, assistance of any kind. People can chose to be kind or not. They should realize that kindness is more rewarding though.
Kay blue 3 years ago
Could the bus driver have done more. I got on a full bus with my baby daughter who was in my arms as I had to collapse the buggy and leave it in on the luggage rack. The driver yelled down the bus that he wasn't going anywhere until someone gave me a seat. I've seen it before with disabled/elderly/pregnant women etc.
Julie Phipps 3 years ago
Ok, so why didn't all these do gooder people on the bus offer their seats up. Why did she have to ask ? Why did she ask him? Why didn't she ask someone else?
Johanna 3 years ago
He is an asshole, but he's not the only one in the bus. There where plenty people, maybe one of them could have offered his seat. There are not enough informations. I understand that he was exhausted und so he refused his seat. Okay. But than telling her this stupid s**t about abbortions etc and ignoring her and the old man when they had fallen is beyond assholery. Why did not one else offered his seat? Did he sit on a seat for disabled people or pregnant women (in Germany they are always near the entrance and you have too give up those seats if your are neither disabled nore pregnant)?
Donna Cheung 3 years ago
As a woman who'd been pregnant, I wouldn't say that this man was an a**hole if based only on the fact that he didn't give up his seat. I get it; you paid the fair, you have the right to sit down if you got on when there 's a free seat. I mean, you may be tired/ in pain/ there may be people who are younger than you who could give up their seat. So yeah, he'd be a selfish guy but I wouldn't say he's an a**hole just based on that. But he absolutely is a jerk for writing a whole post about how the woman is wrong, and how he's actually proud of the way he reacted. I sincerely hope he won't "breed".
BluEyedSeoulite 3 years ago
I read a more condensed version of this story and it was a split. I totally understood both sides and I've been in both places. However, this more descriptive version makes him the asshole and shows that he needs to be more considerate of others. Maybe HE should have had enough money saved up to buy a new car immediately after his car was totaled. Maybe that woman isn't single by choice, maybe her husband just died. Maybe he just disappeared after clearing their bank account. Maybe she just sold her car to buy a new heater for her house after hers broke. Give people the benefit of the doubt! He could have sucked it up and stood until someone else got off. If she falls down, it can be a serious issue, he just gets bruised. Plus, if he ass in priority seating, he is definitely the asshole.
Anne Nielsen 3 years ago
You need to go see the Wizard of Oz you need both a brain and a heart!
Nizumi 3 years ago
He chose to draw attention himself with his post, expecting people to come to his defense - he deserves the backlash. I'm actually more disgusted with his whiney "justification" than his behaviour on the bus.
María Hermida 3 years ago
And what about HER whiney justification? Being a single mother doesn't give people more rights. He might be rude, but she is an entitled bit...
Load More Replies... Michael Hooper 3 years ago
I think everyone is overreacting. Why couldn't EVERYONE help and stand for a few minutes each. He deserved some consideration too. What would everybody be saying if he wasn't a working man. So give him a break, EVERYONE has an opportunity to be a nice "guy", but instead decided to act self righteous toward him. If they were that concerned any one or all of them could have given up their seats for a few minutes.
meowgie catster 3 years ago
ok his reasoning is s**t but I can see his point, but he should have been better about it and maybe asking her to ask another person if it was really that bad for him. but also he sounds like he's just being a lazy selfish ass
blugeagua 3 years ago
We don't even really know HOW she got pregnant. What if it wasn't her choice?
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Because if she was raped and she kept it, it was by choice. Also because statistically that’s not even a reasonable assumption.
Load More Replies... Catalina Nagy 3 years ago
There are reserved seats for pregnant/elderly/disabled passengers. If she really needed to have a seat she should have called out to whomever was willing to give it to her. She just singled out this guy. She was pregnant, maybe he had a bad knee. And this whining about being a pregnant single mother..... he was right - not his problem. (I am female, 60+, no children by choice)
Steven Rose 3 years ago
We need more public transportation available so that those who need a seat will have one.
John Montgomery 3 years ago
I'm not sure which is worse here, but I'm very glad this isn't the Orville because that's exactly what got the scientist lobotomised.
Barbara Skolly 3 years ago
As someone who was pregnant in winter and had a jacket that concealed it well i had many standing train rides. Towards the end when my feet were swollen i started exaggerating my waddle and opened my jacket when I boarded. Normally someone would clear a seat quickly but occasionally it took some judgmental glances from others for someone to give up a priority seat (seats that give priority to elderly, disabled and pregnant)
Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago
we're saying this guy is a bad person, but she literally could have asked someone else when he said no, so maybe SHE'S in the wrong here (ok probs gonna get downvoted to death but i had to say it)
Znaya 3 years ago
Anyone could have offered her a seat, there was no need to write about it and become personal, when another seat became empty the person could have taken it problem solved, people overthink things and use excuses, with the pregnant lady there were things that might have happened that were beyond her control, the guy would still have had his sore feet when he made it home 😀
Brandy Grote 3 years ago
He said "but he can deal" meaning he wasn't disabled, just tired. His stubborn refusal caused TWO people, no, 3 counting the baby, to risk injury. How would the asshole feel if she went into labor from falling? Maybe her car got wrecked, too? What a lowlife worm.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Imagine being so entitled that someone not giving you their own thing is somehow stubborn. “Won’t somebody think of the children!!?!” - Karen Grote
Load More Replies... Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
If this is real, it's disgusting. Hard to tell if it's baiting, but tbh I wouldn't put anything past humanity these days :(
Joseph Burke 3 years ago
The guy was perfectly correct. It's not his problem that a single woman chose to get pregnant and now can't find a seat on the bus. If chivalry is dead, it's because feminists killed it. If the feminists are correct, that women don't need men to do things for them, then I don't see the problem. So either they are right or they are wrong. Which is it? You can't spend your whole life screaming about how women don't need men but then still expect them to go out of their way for you.
NatalieC 3 years ago
We don't all share the same values. This person has little to no empathy. Is he a bad person because of it? IDK. Some people are just like that.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Literally anyone could look at you and say that you have no empathy because you didn’t care how the guy felt. By your own thinking, you yourself have no empathy.
Load More Replies... Marcellus the Third 3 years ago
Nobody forced him to take the 10h standing job, nobody asked her to get pregnant so that balances out. However, anybody who used the word "cherish" to describe time sat on a bus with headphones on is beyond reasoning so there's no point.
Justin Marshall 3 years ago
Pregnancy is a choice and not a condition. Where's the sympathy for people with cancer and are too weak to stand? Where's the sympathy for people who just had knee surgery and are in pain? All you see is a preggo demanding the world bow to her every whim and command. I will never give up my seat because someone is pregnant. I will always give it up for the disabled or elderly. As a friend once said regarding pregnant women on public transport: "She should have screwed someone with a car!"
Melanie Wittmier-Steffler 3 years ago
Men need to feel all the pain involved with pregnancy. Her feet were most likely swollen from water retention and high blood pressure that can be life threatening. Her back was out of alignment due to belly imbalance. Her breasts are heavy and painful. She may still be nauseated and standing on a bus can add dizziness and lightheadedness. The excess weight of placenta filled with baby, fluids and new veins feeding baby push organs into painful positions, standing causes leaking urine. Yeah, this is just a few things before labor & birth to look forward to.
sturmwesen 3 years ago
Oh come on... you talk as if any pregnancy is the same for everyone. We had 4 colleagues that were pregnant the last year and most are like "pregnancy is not a disability" . I do not deny some have heavy sideeffects but in the end you can not compare pain between people. What one considers inconvenient another may find tremendously hurting. You do not know the pain or struggle of others. So ask if you want a seat but accept if another person has different reasons and priorities.
Load More Replies... Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago (edited)
I cannot bloody believe people defending this enormous s crotum of a man. "abortions are free" maybe go boil yourself in liquid feces
Kenny Kulbiski 3 years ago
I got as far as the old man calling him a " damn millennial " and decided the whole thing was fiction. Not very good fiction either.
Crochet lady 3 years ago
So people REALLY think this fairytale woman opened up about her martial status to some incel on a bus to try to win his seat? And even if this story were true his logic is faulty: just because the state they live in has access to free bc and abortion doesn't mean that's the state where she got pregnant. Furthermore for all he knows she also worked 10 hour shifts on her feet all day but is ALSO pregnant.
Tom 3 years ago
This article has made me lose massive faith in Bored Panda because it presents such a one sided view, it doesn't present his replies to the comments which answer some questions. Don't get me wrong though, he's still an a-hole for not giving up his seat. I don't care how tired I am, if there is someone who has more need of a seat than me then I will gladly vacate it for them.
Jolita zit 3 years ago
Never seen a bus with only two seats. She could ask someone else. But I guess flipping out on the youngest generation is universal thing in all countries. I once was screamed at just because some old dude pull over my car at the petrol station and wasn't happy that I didn't move the car the second I fill my tank. Even tho I need to pay at register first for it to be able to be used again. But he went to the petrol station ant start screaming to move my car (I was buying some food as we traveled around the country). There were other 5 petrol pumps. But he went ballistic over me. Cuz I am young female with a Learner sticker on the back of my car. I moved the car.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
If you think equality has “consequences,” then you don’t believe in equality.
Load More Replies... Magicalmarilyn 3 years ago
When I was pregnant I did not expect anyone to do anything for me. I ride the bus, I stand if there is no seating. I know what it's like to work ten hours on your feet and be dead tired but I do choose to do it. I don't expect to have someone give up their seat for me because maybe they have had a long day and are really tired. And just how many other people were on that bus? I'm sure others could have given her a seat. Why didn't the old man do it at first if the millennials are so bad?
Daphne Williams 3 years ago (edited)
Pregnancy can come with a wide variety of side effects, from the minor to the truly awful. If she falls, it could be a trip to the hospital, or the loss of her child. If you are able-bodied, and won't be seriously injured if you fall down, you should give up for seat for people that might be, including the disabled, elderly, and pregnant. Period. This is just fundamental human decency. I've been exhausted on the bus plenty of times, and I've always given up my seat for someone that looks like they could be more seriously injured if they fell down. It's truly disheartening to see so many people can't see this.
Kat Hi 3 years ago
Sry, but the pregnant woman can not expect everyone to please her, just because she is pregant and a single mom. So what? Others have to work 10 hours straight standing. And yes - that IS pain in your feet. It´s missing respect from her side. Not the other way around. Start thinking clearly please.
Kat Hi 3 years ago
yeah...common sense, that you have to give away your seat...your own needs count nothing...when there a woman, who put herselve in that situation and then expects everyone to take care of her. Otherwise you are an ashole. Like this post here showes. Jesus, I f*****g hate this world. GUY - I ´M WITH YOU. It´s the other ones who are asholes. Definitly. It´s just f****d up and twistet moralism.
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
So why does he have to give up his seat and none of the others do? Anyway, you’ll always be the asshole when it’s about breeders, because they are somehow holy and untouchable. I agree with the guy. She made a choice, live with it.
Laura Pantazis 3 years ago
I would have said NTA. I feel for the guy. Standing for 10 hours straight is extremely hard on the feet. There were others who could have given up their seats.
Barbz (He/They) 3 years ago
This is kinda hypocritical... he gave her the "it was your choice, abortion and the pill are free, car blah blah" But its HIS choice to work at a job that aches his feet, its HIS choice to take public transit, its HIS CHOICE to not take his own advice and get a car. He's an able-bodied human that isn't suffering through the agony that is carrying another being in your ovaries. His self-centered being ended up with a pregnant woman and an elderly man falling. The man could've hurt himself and the woman could've lost her baby. he is the a-hole.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
Nobody chooses to be poor and have a bad job. You sound like Donald Trump.
Load More Replies... Serenity Kinney 3 years ago
THAT IS IT! I HAVE LOST ALL MY FATE IN HUMEN POEPLE. I WANT YOU TO KNOW, GUY IN POST, THAT YOU ARE A BAD BAD PERSON, I HOPE YOU FALL WHEN YOU GET OLD, OR IN ANOUTHER MULTIVURES WHEN YOU ARE A PREGNET WOMEN, YOU ARE THE WORST ONE EVER. i am 11 and i hate, HATE, HATE!!! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago (edited)
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Load More Replies... Laura Dawson 3 years ago
I think it is fair he is an asshole - we can apply his thinking to his situation, if he's on his feet 10hrs a day & feels pain, get a desk job. It's not like it was an everyday occurrence. A heavily pregnant woman can be unbalanced & a lot of women can barely walk for more than a few minutes at a time due to the pressure. He seems to be a bit of a snob - who uses the word "breeding" that's like Nazi talk. Her circumstances are not relevant. She only asked if she could sit down. He is a grade A asshole.
Shombuly 3 years ago
Give this bs a rest folks. The stable bulges in danger of toppling entirely with so many high horses. Before declaring judgement, carefully self-assess and ensure that you are an infallible paragon of virtue who has NEVER done or said anything you regret. If you indeed find yourself flawless, ...well then you're full of s**t. So by all means, comment away till your dark deceptive heart's content.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I enjoyed reading this, but it’s also just platitudes. Just say your opinion and move on.
Load More Replies... menna asf (he/him) 3 years ago
Thats disgusting. WHat goes on in your mind? And defending yourself with "abortions are legal" What if this was the common case where she WANTS a child? Idk it's just common sense to give up something someone else needs more than you?
Megan Johnson 3 years ago
I can see his perspective. Working on your feet all day, maybe serving jerk customers. It sucks. I do believe he should have given up his seat. I don't think anyone had a right to demand it and berate him afterward. I can't stand strangers feeling entitled to anything from me. But he should be more mindful of trying to rid the world of common decency. One wonders how much he benefits daily from the societal "rules" he's rebelling against. He might find life a lot harder and less enjoyable should people pay that forward to him.
BringOnTheDownvotes 3 years ago
NTA im tired of people thinking every single last "decent" action needs to be done by men. There were clearly other people on that bus and everyone looked at the young guy to step up and do the work. No. It should not be the sole responsibility of one demographic on a bus full of people. If she's in a position where she's unable to walk or stand then she wouldn't be traveling. I also agree with the fact its on her she decided to get pregnant with zero support or the other responsibil party simply because she's chosen to make her life difficult doesn't mean others need to pick up the slack. I have 3 kids and I would never expect a total stranger to do s**t for me or them let alone crucify them because they decided they didn't want to. Yall think the world owes you everything and it doesn't. Youre on own quit expecting strangers to take care of you
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
I walk with a cane on my bad days and I *still* give up my seat to the elderly and pregnant. (Or place on elevator, etc.) The only story we can ever fully know is our *own*. ..... Karma will get the OP worse than any internet comment.
GirlFriday 3 years ago
This guy is the A-hole no matter how you slice it and necessarily because he didn't give up his seat which any decent human would have done.
lara 3 years ago
Personally, I never expected anyone to make a "special" exemption for me. I was not handicapped, I was pregnant. Women all around the world get pregnant, carry babies for nine months, plow, clean house, cook, work, take care of farms, etc., and never expect anyone to make a "special case" of them. She's pregnant, not blind, not disabled, not crippled, not in any way, shape or form incapable of standing up holding onto a strap or pole. So what if her back "hurts" or she is "out of balance." Does she really expect the world to stop for her because she is pregnant/
J. Zingler 3 years ago
So, you have "No right" do sit down on specially signed seats if you are disabled or pregnant or just elderly?
lenka 3 years ago
This has nothing to do with chivalry, and everything to do with human decency. Pregnancy causes physical pain in the hips and pelvis, swelling in the legs and feet and instability due to the weight distribution. It is not only painful, but dangerous for pregnant people to stand on public transport.
Load More Replies... Katie 3 years ago
Seriously this guy is an absolute tool of a person who does not have any manors what so ever
Ylenia Vitangeli 3 years ago
Yes, suggesting an abortion instead of giving up your seat, says a lot about the type of man you are...the one to avoid
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 3 years ago
I bet if the tables were turned and his pregnant wife needed a seat he would start to think differently.
Load More Replies... Doggo Froggo 3 years ago (edited)
My father once watched a whole train carriage of relatively young people ignore and refuse a heavily pregnant woman their seat. Obviously he gave her his seat when she got to him (he was right at the end) but it is just disgusting how thoughtless people can be. I appreciate the point that the man in the story was feeling xyz but his reasoning was unacceptable.
EQXL 3 years ago
I've had somebody jump over my crutches when I tried to get to a seat which become available after already limping into balance for a while where nobody stood up.
Load More Replies... Jenny Schmidt 3 years ago
I have a slightly different take, and i have been that pregnant woman. Why is it that woman should be coddled and considered as weak? For me it would be about who has a greater need. I remember reading about a US woman soccer player who while pregnant did intense workouts. And this guy is an essential worker tired from a long day. I'm not saying in this case he needed the seat more, just that it's a reasonable question to ask.
Frank Ropen 3 years ago
I bet every single one of the commenters had at least once in their life time acted rude to another person after a long exhausting day of work. Or let's change the perception. Imagine her as a Karen demanding a seat from health worker after long 10 hours shift during the corona pandemic.
Don Quixote 3 years ago
I’d bet the person who wrote this isn’t actually the guy who didn’t get up.
Kat Hi 3 years ago
I´m sry, but I am a 100% with the writer, that didn´t want to give away his seat, because he is standing all day long. It´s his right as well. Freedom of one person ends, where freedom of another person begins. And in this case, the pregnant woman wanted to take the freedom of the man with the sore feet. He was tired as well and it´s not like pregnant women can not stand at all. Also other persons, who didnt have any reason to sit (such as PAIN!!!!) could have stood up and offered the seat. Those ones, who don´t mind. So I would say it´s pretty brave from the writer and he is just a hundret percent right. He has his own problems and I wouldn´t say, being pregnant is any more reason then having sore feet after a 10 hour shift. What fuckes me off the most is this f*****g shitty moralism, that exists in society. Your really have to stop it. It´s the real thing, that makes the world worst. Bored Panda, I am not a fan anymore.
Daphne Williams 3 years ago
"And in this case, the pregnant woman wanted to take the freedom of the man with the sore feet. " - this might be the stupidest sentence I've read today. Congrats.
Load More Replies... Barry Publow 3 years ago (edited)
Judging is imposing your own personal moral, ethical or religious beliefs on another person who simply does not share your thoughts, opinion or point of views. Would you all just STOP it! There are more seats on the bus than the one this guy occupied. So he didn't want to give it up. More or immoral? It's no one's business but the individual who made his own person choice for his own personal reasons. All she had to do was ask someone else FFS!
Dawn Cline 3 years ago
I've recently been pregnant and I'm on the fence as well. I'd never ask someone to give up his seat. I have no idea what he was going through. I'm a grown woman. It kinda sucks to stand like that, but I did it. That being said, he was an asshole, not because he didn't give up his seat, but because he thought his reasoning made him less of an ass when, in fact, he became more disgusting.
DC 3 years ago
Of course he is the asshole. Take a pregnant woman, and everyone else, no matter the situation, automatically is wrong and wronging her. I've had a few encounters with pregnant Karens and their sense of entitlement is just impressive. It is totally about being kind and nothing else. Just as a shift of hard work isn't a visible sign that you may be exhausted, a pregnancy isn't a sign that you're weak and stressed and practically broken all the time. Also - the bus was obviously as full of people in seats as it can be during covid. Why isn't any of the other people the asshole, why him? Also, there are a lot of disabilities you don't see at first sight. I get up every single time I'm asked friendly, and often enough don't even wait to be asked, but if the first thing happening is that I'm yelled at - no chance, and if it's triplets - not my fault. Just be kind and that's about it. It will be returned.
Iapetos 3 years ago
Hope he never gets any children as he doesn't seem to comprehend the reasons why people get kids...
theo 3 years ago
There is nog real reason to get childeren. And when you het pregnant, it is still your own choice.
Load More Replies... brian mathieson 3 years ago
This seems like a social justice comment section. She should of been banging a dude with a car. Take a taxi next time. Not his problem.
Katchen 3 years ago
She can’t stand like anyone else; her center of gravity is altered so she’s more likely to fall over.
Load More Replies... Katchen 3 years ago
Have you been to Bavaria? I lived there for five months and if I stood up when the bus stopped, I would be shoved back into my seat by the people pushing past me to get out. Self-closing doors would slam in my face because the people a few steps in front of me would not hold the door for the people behind them. An old lady getting on a train tripped getting on and the people closest to her stared at her, rather than helping her up.
Load More Replies... Katchen 3 years ago
Working the job that tires his feet is no one’s choice but his own.
Load More Replies... Alexis draskinis 3 years ago
So treat all pregnant women like the world should've treated your mom? I mean, your mom let a dude ejaculate inside her & ended up with you & your comments let the world know that was a mistake. And since i have no connection to you, i have no moral concerns telling your loser self how horrible the mistake of your birth truly is...
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