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Man Adopts Late BFF’s Daughter, Gets Handed DNA Results Years Later By Snooping SIL
Adopting a child can sometimes be complicated. This is especially true for those who sought custody of the kid because the biological parents were in some way unable to fulfill their duty.
In this story’s case, a man adopted a young girl who tragically lost both of her parents. But that didn’t stop his sister-in-law from conducting a secret DNA test on the child out of sheer nosiness.
The author responded by mocking his brother’s wife, subsequently resulting in family drama. He now asks the AITAH subreddit for validation on whether or not he went too far.
RELATED:
Having an adopted child can sometimes lead to a complicated situation for the foster parent
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual image)
A man had been granted custody of a child who lost both of her parents tragically
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual image)
His sister-in-law DNA tested the child without consent, which led to an embarrassing situation
Image credits: felipecaparros (not the actual image)
The author’s actions caused some family drama, and he’s asking the internet for validation
Image credits: ThrowRASILtester
Consent is required when obtaining DNA from an underaged child
The author’s sister-in-law may have overstepped some boundaries here. According to the DNA Diagnostics Center (DDC), legal parents are the only ones allowed to do unconsented DNA testing.
The sister-in-law should have obtained signed permission from the child’s legal guardian, who, in this case, is the author. The DDC states that testing wouldn’t be possible without said document.
Such protocols are necessary to prevent the mishandling of DNA, especially since law enforcement can use it as evidence. In the worst cases, this could lead to false accusations and potentially ruin lives.
Paternity laws vary in states and regions, and the author didn’t specify his location. Therefore, it isn’t clear if the woman committed violations. However, her actions to satisfy her curiosity and rub it in her brother-in-law’s face is a bad look.
Image credits: Ani Kolleshi (not the actual image)
Dealing with a nosy relative requires a proper response
We’ve all dealt with that one relative who always has intrusive questions during family reunions. They are the ones who inquire about your romantic life and ask why you don’t have kids yet in your late 30s.
Having a proper response may help you better deal with such instances. Author and veteran psychiatrist Dr. Abigail Brenner encourages a direct and firm expression of one’s sentiments, especially when the conversation becomes invasive.
“Know when the discussion or argument has accelerated to the point of no return,” Dr. Brenner wrote in an article for Psychology Today, adding that ending the conversation is the best way to go when it deviates from conflict resolution and becomes more about winning.
There’s also nothing wrong with dodging questions you’re not comfortable answering. It’s an excellent way to set boundaries, as long as you keep it diplomatic.
“You’re allowed to say, ‘Thank you for asking, but I don’t feel like talking about it tonight’ or, ‘Oh, it’s a long story. We can discuss at another time,’” social psychologist Dr. Susan Newman told HuffPost.
The author probably could have avoided laughing in his sister-in-law’s face. However, he responded straightforwardly and did not make retaliatory remarks. His sister-in-law likely embarrassed herself, causing her to storm off.
What’s your take, readers? Is there something the author could have done differently?
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual image)
Most commenters didn’t agree with the sister-in-law’s behavior
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What do you think ?
TribbleThinking 3 months ago
Please do find out if her running Lily's DNA is legal. The attempted "reveal" in front of the child is unforgivable. She's told you what she is, believe her. Ironically of course, there was an actual "reveal", it happened to be of SIL as a malignant attention seeking crazy who thinks nothing of hurting a child if she can get an afternoon's entertainment out of it.
UKGrandad 3 months ago (edited)
IF this happened as told, and if I were in OP's shoes, my reaction would have been different. When psycho-woman came out with the bit about testing Lily's DNA against my brother's and there was no match, I'd have gone with 'I know, and as you're marrying my brother you're going to be a part of this family, so you need to know the family secret. My brother isn't really my brother. The baby my mum gave birth to was really, REALLY ugly so she switched him with a cuter one in the hospital. Don't tell anybody, though, 'cos the last two people who learned of it mysteriously vanished. Now, can I get you a coffee?"
TribbleThinking 3 months ago (edited)
You're my kind of person. I see I have much to learn. *proffers virtual pint*
Load More Replies...
Trillian 3 months ago
"Doing the right thing"? What exactly would this "right thing" be. OP should ask his brother. What possible good outcome could this absolute b***h of a woman have been aiming at?
ॐBoyGanesh 3 months ago (edited)
This. Why is bro rationalizing her with nothing to back it up? It’s so illogical that he must be thinking with something other than his brain or he’s simped out to the point she controls him completely. The bro needs to go until the SIL is gone and he’s recovered from her.
Load More Replies... TribbleThinking 3 months ago
Please do find out if her running Lily's DNA is legal. The attempted "reveal" in front of the child is unforgivable. She's told you what she is, believe her. Ironically of course, there was an actual "reveal", it happened to be of SIL as a malignant attention seeking crazy who thinks nothing of hurting a child if she can get an afternoon's entertainment out of it.
UKGrandad 3 months ago (edited)
IF this happened as told, and if I were in OP's shoes, my reaction would have been different. When psycho-woman came out with the bit about testing Lily's DNA against my brother's and there was no match, I'd have gone with 'I know, and as you're marrying my brother you're going to be a part of this family, so you need to know the family secret. My brother isn't really my brother. The baby my mum gave birth to was really, REALLY ugly so she switched him with a cuter one in the hospital. Don't tell anybody, though, 'cos the last two people who learned of it mysteriously vanished. Now, can I get you a coffee?"
TribbleThinking 3 months ago (edited)
You're my kind of person. I see I have much to learn. *proffers virtual pint*
Load More Replies... Trillian 3 months ago
"Doing the right thing"? What exactly would this "right thing" be. OP should ask his brother. What possible good outcome could this absolute b***h of a woman have been aiming at?
ॐBoyGanesh 3 months ago (edited)
This. Why is bro rationalizing her with nothing to back it up? It’s so illogical that he must be thinking with something other than his brain or he’s simped out to the point she controls him completely. The bro needs to go until the SIL is gone and he’s recovered from her.
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