Well, there goes my faith in humanity. How cruel can you be? Dating as an adult comes with baggage. Most often, the person you fall in love with has loved someone else in the past. Don't see that as a threat. Be grateful that the former partner helped them become the person you love now. Honour the whole of their journey instead of demanding they delude you and themselves into believing you're where it starts. OP dodged a huge bullet, and I hope and pray he gets his photos back.

To whoever needs to hear this. You don't stop loving a departed spouse. Most people find room in their hearts to love again but don't expect them to forget the love they lost, it's just not like that.

When someone tells you who they are, believe them. Don't go back to that woman.

she's an horrendous human being and so are her friends that agree with her

I (then 50) met my boyfriend (then 53) only five months after his wife died of breast cancer. That sadness, grief and regret were a big part of him at that time. We talked about his wife, I acknowledged the importance of their relationship. I never- not once- felt intimidated by their love. I felt like she would want me to love him. He's a great guy..and he loves me with all his heart. We're lucky to have found one another. It's been over five years since her death. He still has a picture of her in her wedding dress, in the living room, with a battery operated candle that he keeps going. I think it's his way of honoring and remembering her. The picture doesn't bother me. He can leave it there forever if he'd like. We do live separately (my youngest just turned 18, so soon we'll buy a house together). But I'm at his house a lot. As best friends I think it's important to support each other. He's been a great support to me.

What she did was theft. She stole your mementos. You can try to see if they are backed up to a computer too. Or the cloud. Honestly would this happen if it was a pet you had thats passed and then got a new one with her? Oh toss that it's in the past. She needs help. Too clingy. And those were moments in your life. I wouldn't care about the nudes either. It's like a painting of a nude. You loved her and her body an it was part of your life. You kept that private at least. Try the cloud and any backed up services too. Even if you messaged a photo to someone maybe they have a copy for you. And next time keep your phone password private. Regardless why they need it or you need to prove you're loyal. I'd never ask someone to prove it if I trusted them.

Holy c**p. How could anyone think that's ok???? How selfish can you be?

This is really old. I seriously hope he's found someone who's not crazy to be with by now.

Besides kicking her out of your life, I would pursue any criminal or civil charges possible. I would sue her for emotional distress, and NO, I do NOT care if she has "issues." She doe snot deserve sympathy for those issues either. Actions have consequences, and she deserves to suffer them. At the bare minimum, you need to sue her in small claims cost for every penny you spend to recover those photos plus your legal fees.

Always keep a backup of what is important, and don't put all your eggs in one basket. Especially phones are prone to breaking down, as many of them live a really hard life, so don't count on them as a safe way to store precious information. That being said, a phone is basically a computer, and what happens when you delete files on a computer is pretty much just that it overwrites the index telling you where you can find your things, and then it frees up that part of the memory so other programs can write data to it. So there is a chance that the pictures are still in there, you just need special software that can find them and rewrite the index. But if you continue to use the phone/computer, that information will slowly be overwritten in time and they get corrupted and will get lost. So turn off the phone and get someone to dig out what images there still may be in there.

Reading this almost made me cry and certainly made me angry. I lost my husband 14 years ago and the thought of someone destroying all our photos together breaks my heart. I've been with my fiancé now for 6 years and not once did he ever ask me to get rid of anything I might still have from my late husband. My fiancé understands that our relationship is solid and I love him, but that there's always a place in my heart for my late husband. And yes, I still keep a small framed photo of the two of us in a side table and that's okay.

Holy s**t..... what she did was unconscionable. After my stepmom passed away, my dad started dating another woman. I did not like her, but really it was bc she was only 2 years older than me and tried to tell me she was my new "mom". Yeah. Anyway, she tried to throw everything of my moms away- when they split and my dad moved on to someone else, this woman helped him create a wall of memories for my step mom; all her pics and accomplishments, her Sheriffs badge, etc. I thought that was really sweet of her to do this. Why anyone in their right mind would delete pics off someone else's phone is beyond me. I don't even go into my husbands phone. Bc I trust him. Obviously this chick doesn't trust him, so it's better that they split anyway.

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Nta. 1. Never give your password to an overprotective and clingy gf/bf. 2. Break up with her and please take some time with yourself.

OP's first mistake was giving his password to his girlfriend. I keep my passwords even from my wife. That's because I have a unhealthy porn obsession, but that's another story.

Have been married for over 41 years. My former husband (6 months) had been married off and on since he was 14. I told him to take 6 months. Stay out of the bars. Away from the women. Spend some time figuring out what HE wanted out of life. He did it. A couple years later he remarried. We had lunch one day. He said his new wife "is jealous of you. I keep telling her she shouldn't be jealous. She should be grateful. If you hadn't knocked me into shape she wouldn't be able to live with me, either."

If she felt what she was doing was right, she would have had a conversation. Not try and do it when he's not around his phone and then just wait for him to find them missing. She 100% knew

Bored panda really so low on content that they're digging through years old reddit posts

Yeah, he should not let that crazy girl back into his life. Sounds like a set up for future abusive and controlling behaviour if she went that far so quickly in their relationship. Very possessive. Reminds me of this British documentary where a man was almost killed by his girlfriend about repeatedly abusing him. He should have given himself more time to heal from his wife’s death before dating again. And be more discerning in the future. If someone shows you red flags, walk on past. You ain’t changing them with your love and it ain’t worth it to your self-esteem just to have a warm body in your life. Better to be alone.

So glad he got rid of her

Clearly she has no respect for others privacy and no respect for boundaries but I think her comment about "having photos of a dead girl" is really what takes the cake, because not only does it speaks volumes of her lack of emotional maturity but it cements the fact that she knew who it was, she knew that she had passed away, and yet she brought up the fact that his wife was dead and gone just to hurt him even more! Most of the time, most people out there are going to have some kind of relationship history or past relationships before meet the person that they're currently with. It doesn't matter what trust issues you personally have, you have to be an adult and accept that people had a past before they met you.

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Dating a widower here: This is awful! My BF commented that he could move the big picture of his [late] wife that’s in the living room and I was like, Hell, no. She’s not competition! I’m sure your GF has good points but she’s also got some major issues.

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Ah, kids - a lot of immaturity from that GF. It's absolutely not okay to try and retcon someone's life like that. Even the saucy photos: it's up to the OP to decide whether he wants to delete them or not. Even if he wasn't attached to those memories, it's still not okay to do that without consent. OP did the right thing by throwing her out.

Honestly, if my now-wife would hang on to photos of her ex, naked photos no less, I'd have an issue with that. But the ex is not dead. So that may be different. I think the girlfriend was not in the right and she sounds like a freak but OP needs to be aware of the fact that a new relationship usually involves "getting rid" of the previous ones. Also: don't give other people your phone password, unless it's someone you. trust your with life

OP rushed things for sure. His wife passed away, and he started a new relationship merely 12 months later. That's way too soon. The new woman in his life deserved to be the sole focus of his attention and not be forced to share him with his deceased wife. If OP wanted to keep a few pictures of his late wife, he should've uploaded them to his computer or a thumb drive. Keeping them on his phone means that he wanted to look at them all the time. And that, in turn, means that he wasn't ready for a dedicated new relationship. His girlfriend is much better off without him.

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My question is... why didnt you inform your GF, before you move in togethe, that you were once married and she died? You said she didnt know who that woman was... maybe if you had been more transparent with her this wouldn't have happened? Also, unless you guys get married, you shouldn't share your PW with insecure people....