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Man Wonders If He Should Confess The Reason He Won’t Attend Sister’s Bridal Party
Forbidden romance in real life isn’t as pleasing and sexy as sometimes portrayed in films and novels. It often leads to a problematic situation for everyone involved, and the story you’re about to read is proof of it.
Today’s account comes from a 26-year-old man who fell in love with his sister’s fiancé. With a keen intent on keeping feelings to himself, he declined a special role in the ceremony without saying why.
This infuriated his sister, and he now asks the AITAH subreddit whether he was wrong for his actions.
RELATED:
Falling in love with the wrong person often leads to a complicated situation
Image credits:Kampus Production (Not the actual photo)
A man ended up developing romantic feelings for his sister’s fiancé
Image credits: 1footage (Not the actual photo)
To keep everything under wraps, he rejected his sister’s offer for him to be part of the bridal party
The author addressed some of the commenters’ questions
Image credits: helpme__2
Family secrets can affect the dynamic in the long run
The post’s author and his sister were on bad terms leading up to the wedding. According to experts, the eventual relationship strain only adds to the current burden of the secret keeper.
“Holding a secret about one topic may prevent the secret holder from being emotionally vulnerable in other facets of family life, for fear of letting one’s guard down. They may live in fear of being found out,” licensed family therapist Sarah Epstein wrote in an article for Psychology Today.
As for how it affects the family dynamic, Epstein says it could last for a long time.
“Family secrets that center on rule violations and taboo subjects, however, tend to create strife. Individual secrets lead to isolation and anxiety about the secret emerging.”
Image credits:Budgeron Bach (Not the actual photo)
Self-honesty is key when keeping a secret from the family
In today’s story, the author has deemed it necessary to withhold information from his sister. If this is something you’re dealing with, experts recommend doing a thorough self-evaluation.
Writer and mental health coach Andrea M. Darcy advises asking yourself how you will affect everyone around you.
“If your secret is something you hide out of a fear of judgment, then consider if the secret is serving you in a positive way without actually hurting others,” Darcy wrote in an article for Harley Therapy.
And if things become too unbearable, Darcy advises seeking help.
“Secrets are better out than in. But if you feel fear, shame, anger, or resentment at the thought of sharing your secret, or you just aren’t sure you can navigate it all alone, it might be time to reach out for support,” she wrote.
The author is on the right track by asking for support from his sister’s fiancé. Professional help can be an option, but ultimately, they must prevent further damage to their already-strained relationship.
Image credits:Priscilla Du Preez (Not the actual photo)
The author provided more context in his responses to some comments
Some people thought he was in the wrong
While others sided with him
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What do you think ?
Marianne 5 months ago
There are many people in these comments who are painting this very black and white. It's not like the fiance doesn't have feelings for OP's sister anymore. Also OP didn't chose to have feelings for his sister's fiance. And why on earth would it be the right thing for him to tell his sister not only that he has feelings for her fiance, but that they were reciprocated? That's a joice that her finace has to make. And he's surely not a monster for wanting to protect her feelings. It's a tough situation with difficult emotions, there's no easy way out.
Invisible Potato 5 months ago
NTA, his feeling get him into difficult situation, and he choses to opt out and remove himself from the equation. He developed feelings for his sister Bi husband-to-be and his Brother in law-to-be obv have some feelings too. He didint act on those feelings, he didint keep it secret, he didint hurt anyone, only himself. Give him a break, its hard enough to be gay, its even harder when everyone is sayig YTA becase he had feeloings for someone...
Annabelle 5 months ago (edited)
It’s hard to be Gay, but I don’t think in this particular situation it makes any difference. For example if he was heterosexual and his brother would have had a fiancée this would be just as hard. I totally agree with the give him a break part, because he did the best he could do in this situation. Edited to make it a bit easier to read
Load More Replies...
Binky Melnik 5 months ago
I’m relieved to see from the comments here that I’m apparently not the only 🫏🕳️ who feels this poor man is NTA. The first comment above in support of him was exactly what I was thinking, and I felt so awful about the people piling onto him. Whew! I can’t remember a previous “AITA?” where I was on the 🫏🕳️’s side, so it relieves me enormously to discover I’m not the only one!
Marianne 5 months ago
There are many people in these comments who are painting this very black and white. It's not like the fiance doesn't have feelings for OP's sister anymore. Also OP didn't chose to have feelings for his sister's fiance. And why on earth would it be the right thing for him to tell his sister not only that he has feelings for her fiance, but that they were reciprocated? That's a joice that her finace has to make. And he's surely not a monster for wanting to protect her feelings. It's a tough situation with difficult emotions, there's no easy way out.
Invisible Potato 5 months ago
NTA, his feeling get him into difficult situation, and he choses to opt out and remove himself from the equation. He developed feelings for his sister Bi husband-to-be and his Brother in law-to-be obv have some feelings too. He didint act on those feelings, he didint keep it secret, he didint hurt anyone, only himself. Give him a break, its hard enough to be gay, its even harder when everyone is sayig YTA becase he had feeloings for someone...
Annabelle 5 months ago (edited)
It’s hard to be Gay, but I don’t think in this particular situation it makes any difference. For example if he was heterosexual and his brother would have had a fiancée this would be just as hard. I totally agree with the give him a break part, because he did the best he could do in this situation. Edited to make it a bit easier to read
Load More Replies... Binky Melnik 5 months ago
I’m relieved to see from the comments here that I’m apparently not the only 🫏🕳️ who feels this poor man is NTA. The first comment above in support of him was exactly what I was thinking, and I felt so awful about the people piling onto him. Whew! I can’t remember a previous “AITA?” where I was on the 🫏🕳️’s side, so it relieves me enormously to discover I’m not the only one!
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