Man Shares His Experience Of His Drink Being Spiked At A Bar, Other Men Open Up About Their Stories
Interview With AuthorBeing drugged on a night out is nothing to laugh about, no matter if you’re built like The Mountain or like Sansa Stark. And the sad thing is, being drugged when you’re a man will quickly show you which of your friends are real and which ones you should rethink your relationship with. Because the latter are laughing at you and can’t see what the big deal is.
Imgur user HerculesSnoochSlammer proved that society has double standards when it comes to having your drink spiked when you’re a man by sharing what happened to them and how everyone reacted. It’s worrisome. And it needs to change.
Hercules opened up to Bored Panda that he’s feeling a bit better now. However, yesterday he was feeling pretty bad, as he assumed he “fell, quite hard.” The day after being drugged, he was “disoriented and almost in shock or disbelief,” wondering whether this really happened to him.
An Imgurian opened up about how their friends reacted to the fact that he got drugged at a bar
Image credits: HerculesSnoochSlammer
Image credits: HerculesSnoochSlammer
Image credits: HerculesSnoochSlammer
Imgurian Hercules told Bored Panda that he personally isn’t sure that there is a double standard at work here. “I believe it’s more dangerous for women just because of what we hear and see with the awful stories of what happens,” he said. Unfortunately, men arent taken as seriously just because most people think ‘we’re always down for a good time.’ Everyone enjoys fun, but I personally enjoy it under my control and in my parameters.”
Hercules urged everyone to be vigilant, know their surroundings, and always keep an eye on their drink. Having a friend around also helps stay safe. “People who do this sort of thing don’t always need a motive I’ve found out. Sometimes, they just want to see what happens and cause terror.”
Researchers from the University of South Carolina found that drugging is “more than simply an urban legend” after looking at data collected from over 6k students at 3 universities. Shockingly, they found that 7.8 percent of students reported incidents where they said they had been drugged. Meanwhile, 1.4 percent opened up that they had either drugged someone or knew someone who had done that to someone else.
Other Imgur users stood in solidarity with Hercules and shared stories of them or their loved ones being drugged as well
Hercules’ candid post on Imgur immediately went viral. In just 8 hours, it got more than 104.7k views, over 4.6k upvotes, and was commented on more than 600 times. Someone also thought that the Imgurian’s honest story was worth being awarded a green emerald.
Imagine if the situation were reversed and the victim was a woman, instead of a 6’4″, 215-pound man. Would people’s reactions have changed? Almost certainly, yes. It looks like, as a society, we only condemn the horrible act of drugging someone if it happens to some people but not others.
That’s a double standard right there. That shaming from his friends that Hercules had to go through might be one of the reasons why not as many men come forward with stories of vulnerability and abuse. Because they know that they might be laughed at for not being ‘manly enough’ and for being in a vulnerable position.
Losing an entire block of 12 hours of time sounds incredibly scary and it’s a wonder that Hercules managed to somehow get home almost safe and sound, barring some bumps and bruises and a 91-dollar charge to their card.
The Imgurian advised everyone, no matter their gender, to keep an eye on their drinks when out in public. After Hercules’ post, some other internet users shared their own stories.
As Hercules put it, we could all stand to be a bit more sensitive, especially when it comes to sensitive topics: “Just take things your male friends say seriously. If they joke about something dark, pry a little deeper. They don’t want to be a bother 99% of the time but are trying their best to swallow their pride and ask for help.”
I hear things like this all too often. Men are often dismissed, laughed at or rejected when they talk about any sort of abuse, threat or even their feelings. This needs to stop. These are our partners, sons, fathers, friends etc. They too deserve to feel safe and be able to speak up.
reminds me of that one post you made about male abuse heres the link if anyone wants to read it https://www.boredpanda.com/the-forgotten/
Load More Replies...It's a tragedy that male victims of abuse including cases such as this, as well as male victims of domestic and sexual violence are dismissed. No wonder men don't come forward. Many people don't even believe that men can be taped by women, and male victims of domestic abuse as often viewed as weak. It's abhorrent. If you are a male victim, please know that there is help out there even if it doesn't seem like it. You don't have to suffer in silence.
I feel like we need to grow up as a society and realize that anything can happen to anyone your trauma and experiences matter no gender or race no matter what you said or did its not your fault its sad shame on everyone who laughed at him!!!
Happened to me. I'm not going into the details. Just saying it does happen to men, regardless of their sexual orientation.
I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope you're doing alright now.
Load More Replies...I think I may have shared this story before. I used to work with a registered sex offender who was actually the victim of the crime. When he was 21 years old, his roommate’s 15 year old sister drugged and raped him. The roommate finds the two naked together and in order to protect her own ass, the girl cries rape. Her story falls apart in court and she eventually confesses that she wasn’t raped but she had actually drugged and raped my co-worker. The judge immediately releases my co-worker from custody. Two weeks later, he’s arrested again. The state decided, despite the fact he was the victim of rape and did not consent to sex, he still engaged in sexual activity with a minor and it’s an intolerable offense in which he was not immune from punishment. He spent six years in jail for statutory rape and has to spend the rest of his life as a registered sex offender. This is the condensed version of the story but it is 100% legit. I did his background check and saw the court documents myself.
This is horrible. Sounds like some arabic states - A story about a raped woman in Dubai comes to mind. She was a western woman, and when she reported being raped she got taken into custody for having sex outside of marriage...
Load More Replies...NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER ACCEPT A DRINK YOU HAVEN'T SEEN POURED AND NEVER LEAVE YOUR DRINK UNATTENDED i bounced for years and spiked drinks happened almost daily , it's sad but true , men do it to girls for sex or to other men for a "laugh" if you feel unwell or funny after one drink phone a friend/parent and get them to take you home or for medical help if its a bad spike ( bad spikes can kill you , it happens when they put too ,much in your drink )
As a female, it absolutely disgusts me that people are willing to downplay assault on men because they "should be stronger" or because "a man can't be r*ped", then turn around and are advocates for people to not dismiss female trauma. Honestly, we NEED to stop with toxic masculinity. While I'm 100% for taking women's assault seriously, I refuse to be a person who supports hurt women then laughs at hurt men.
Unfortunately, this happened to me too. Years ago I was out with some friends at a clubbing and we drank some beer. I, then 24 M and gay, met a guy at the bar and we startet chatting. All of the sudden I became really what I felt drunk, and just wanted to go home. I hopped in a cab when all of the sudden the guy jumped also into the cab and gave the driver his address. I fell asleep in the cab and just woke up as he was about to almost carry me into his flat. I hardly could walk by myself. As he wanted to be intimate I got enough strengh to get him away from me and I somehow got out of his flat and got into another cab and got away as quickly as possible. When I told my friends or other persons they just shrugged it off as I was implying that I would want it, but I'm sure that I was drugged because I never felt that way before or ever after again. Since noboy believed my side I didn't talked about it until now.
It is strong of you to share, thank you. I had no idea this happened to men (I don't do bars so I'm oblivious to what goes on beyond movies and news reports). Sharing the details, while painful, is super helpful to others so they know what to look out for, like the sudden 'drunk' feeling. Thank you for being brave and sharing your experience
Load More Replies...Once drinking with a buddy, we ordered a shot ironically called a memory eraser. It was the last thing either of us remember for hours. I woke up at home on the couch with the front door wide open. We had both been drinking beer before, so we told ourselves it must have been a bad drink combo, but it was so odd I have never forgotten. I have always been embarrassed by it so I don't typically tell anyone.
This made me sad that his friends only knew to react by laughing it off. We wonder why young men have the suicide rate they do. They have never learnt as children how to listen to each other's problems and just say 'that sounds horrible, how are you feeling now?'. Nothing is done to help boys to learn these skills, instead people boast that boys are better than girls because when they have a problem with someone they just resort to physical violence and then it's over and done with. I refuse to believe it is 'natural' that men don't want to be there for each other, otherwise male mental health problems wouldn't be the issue they are.
Very surprised now that people are still drugging drinks. It's so disrespectful. He should go back to that bar and demand to see the security tapes and who was charging on his tab. If they refuse he should call the police. Honestly male or female it's endangerment and luckily he didn't drive. Also theft. Prob more too. Just angry this happened to him.
This is heartbreaking. When someone tells you they've been drugged and possibly assaulted, LISTEN, no matter what their gender.
I used to work at a Rape Crisis hotline and all the calls I got were men telling me this exact story.
There's a certain RnB/Pop star who has stated that she used to drug men regularly to rob them. Despite a public confession on social media she has never faced prosecution and many of her fans still love her. Having been drink spiked more than once, I think she's scum.
This is horrible. Male rape, drugging, and abuse happens. I'm so sorry to hear that you were laughed at.
I'm a female teacher and always tell both my female and male students to be careful with their drinks! Some of the male students joke about it at the start, but when I tell them about they could get robbed or a girl could try to force a child on them they sobber up.
Good point. I'm going to have the talk with my nephew as well.
Load More Replies...Today's society it's all about : f**k you white mens. you don't have problem. why do you think men don't talk? have a high suicidal rate?
It's just must harder for people to believe that white men have been the victim of a crime or some kind of discrimination. This leads to it being much more shameful for them to report it, because they're supposed to have all the "privilege". We have to just start ignoring everyone's race and gender and understand that suffering is suffering, no matter who experiences it.
Load More Replies...Um no. It is good advice, especially when needing to gather information to give to a doctor. If abrasions are found, it could help get a rape kit test. The advice is solid.
Load More Replies...I didn't get drugged but I was harassed and sexually assaulted by a female boss. She would constantly ask me about whether I was circumcised or snipped. Told me about her gentalia, told me about explicit dreams she had about me. On a work trip, after drinking she put her hands down my pants in public. In addition, she would constantly put down and attack my spouse, despite not knowing her; trying to sow division. Eventually, after we no longer worked together but had stayed in contact - she was well connected in a small industry and could damage my career - she turned on me, started spreading lies, and then started threatening to falsely accuse me, which forced me to engage a lawyer. Despite this, despite evidence, where she admitted to assaulting me, no one took it seriously. Successful, attractive woman - i'm an average guy at best - so it was dismissed with the usual, I must have liked it, wanted it, was lucky to have it happen, "if it did happen".
It doesn't only happen to women... but what sux is that how many guys would laugh at it as say "you got lucky!" WOW!
yo have to be a super shitty friend if one of your friend, man or woman, come to you telling that something happen to them, and you laugh
Happened to me back in the 70s when someone dropped a Quaalude in my beer. I've always had a lower tolerance for downers and an hour later I was reportedly out like a light. I woke up the next day all alone in an after-hours punk club after the sun had risen. I only learned later that my friends had prevented others from writing on my face with markers. I was told these hard-core punks stayed close and told people, "No. That's Stan. People don't fVck with Stan." 40 + years later I still recall it warmly.
My work mate was spiked one night, a big dude as well, luckily he managed to make it to our office building about 15 mins away from where he was. He was found outside the lift (elevator) passed out and covered in puke, by the security guard, the dude doesn't even drink alcohol.
I was drugged about 24 years ago. I didn't even realise at the time. Fortunately I had friends take me home and look after me. It was only about 5 years later that I even heard about date rape drugs and realised that was what happened to me. Stsy vigilant folks x
It has happened to me in Miami, Munchen, and Elkins West Virginia, where they wanted to know where I really was from. But I know a bit of drugs and it's difficult for me now to loose control.
Why would I disbelieve a man being drugged? For theft, for a "joke" (that has happened), to be assaulted sexually (yes, it happens).....It may be "less likely", but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I'm tired of this being a gendered issue. It's wrong. The end.
I hear things like this all too often. Men are often dismissed, laughed at or rejected when they talk about any sort of abuse, threat or even their feelings. This needs to stop. These are our partners, sons, fathers, friends etc. They too deserve to feel safe and be able to speak up.
reminds me of that one post you made about male abuse heres the link if anyone wants to read it https://www.boredpanda.com/the-forgotten/
Load More Replies...It's a tragedy that male victims of abuse including cases such as this, as well as male victims of domestic and sexual violence are dismissed. No wonder men don't come forward. Many people don't even believe that men can be taped by women, and male victims of domestic abuse as often viewed as weak. It's abhorrent. If you are a male victim, please know that there is help out there even if it doesn't seem like it. You don't have to suffer in silence.
I feel like we need to grow up as a society and realize that anything can happen to anyone your trauma and experiences matter no gender or race no matter what you said or did its not your fault its sad shame on everyone who laughed at him!!!
Happened to me. I'm not going into the details. Just saying it does happen to men, regardless of their sexual orientation.
I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope you're doing alright now.
Load More Replies...I think I may have shared this story before. I used to work with a registered sex offender who was actually the victim of the crime. When he was 21 years old, his roommate’s 15 year old sister drugged and raped him. The roommate finds the two naked together and in order to protect her own ass, the girl cries rape. Her story falls apart in court and she eventually confesses that she wasn’t raped but she had actually drugged and raped my co-worker. The judge immediately releases my co-worker from custody. Two weeks later, he’s arrested again. The state decided, despite the fact he was the victim of rape and did not consent to sex, he still engaged in sexual activity with a minor and it’s an intolerable offense in which he was not immune from punishment. He spent six years in jail for statutory rape and has to spend the rest of his life as a registered sex offender. This is the condensed version of the story but it is 100% legit. I did his background check and saw the court documents myself.
This is horrible. Sounds like some arabic states - A story about a raped woman in Dubai comes to mind. She was a western woman, and when she reported being raped she got taken into custody for having sex outside of marriage...
Load More Replies...NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER ACCEPT A DRINK YOU HAVEN'T SEEN POURED AND NEVER LEAVE YOUR DRINK UNATTENDED i bounced for years and spiked drinks happened almost daily , it's sad but true , men do it to girls for sex or to other men for a "laugh" if you feel unwell or funny after one drink phone a friend/parent and get them to take you home or for medical help if its a bad spike ( bad spikes can kill you , it happens when they put too ,much in your drink )
As a female, it absolutely disgusts me that people are willing to downplay assault on men because they "should be stronger" or because "a man can't be r*ped", then turn around and are advocates for people to not dismiss female trauma. Honestly, we NEED to stop with toxic masculinity. While I'm 100% for taking women's assault seriously, I refuse to be a person who supports hurt women then laughs at hurt men.
Unfortunately, this happened to me too. Years ago I was out with some friends at a clubbing and we drank some beer. I, then 24 M and gay, met a guy at the bar and we startet chatting. All of the sudden I became really what I felt drunk, and just wanted to go home. I hopped in a cab when all of the sudden the guy jumped also into the cab and gave the driver his address. I fell asleep in the cab and just woke up as he was about to almost carry me into his flat. I hardly could walk by myself. As he wanted to be intimate I got enough strengh to get him away from me and I somehow got out of his flat and got into another cab and got away as quickly as possible. When I told my friends or other persons they just shrugged it off as I was implying that I would want it, but I'm sure that I was drugged because I never felt that way before or ever after again. Since noboy believed my side I didn't talked about it until now.
It is strong of you to share, thank you. I had no idea this happened to men (I don't do bars so I'm oblivious to what goes on beyond movies and news reports). Sharing the details, while painful, is super helpful to others so they know what to look out for, like the sudden 'drunk' feeling. Thank you for being brave and sharing your experience
Load More Replies...Once drinking with a buddy, we ordered a shot ironically called a memory eraser. It was the last thing either of us remember for hours. I woke up at home on the couch with the front door wide open. We had both been drinking beer before, so we told ourselves it must have been a bad drink combo, but it was so odd I have never forgotten. I have always been embarrassed by it so I don't typically tell anyone.
This made me sad that his friends only knew to react by laughing it off. We wonder why young men have the suicide rate they do. They have never learnt as children how to listen to each other's problems and just say 'that sounds horrible, how are you feeling now?'. Nothing is done to help boys to learn these skills, instead people boast that boys are better than girls because when they have a problem with someone they just resort to physical violence and then it's over and done with. I refuse to believe it is 'natural' that men don't want to be there for each other, otherwise male mental health problems wouldn't be the issue they are.
Very surprised now that people are still drugging drinks. It's so disrespectful. He should go back to that bar and demand to see the security tapes and who was charging on his tab. If they refuse he should call the police. Honestly male or female it's endangerment and luckily he didn't drive. Also theft. Prob more too. Just angry this happened to him.
This is heartbreaking. When someone tells you they've been drugged and possibly assaulted, LISTEN, no matter what their gender.
I used to work at a Rape Crisis hotline and all the calls I got were men telling me this exact story.
There's a certain RnB/Pop star who has stated that she used to drug men regularly to rob them. Despite a public confession on social media she has never faced prosecution and many of her fans still love her. Having been drink spiked more than once, I think she's scum.
This is horrible. Male rape, drugging, and abuse happens. I'm so sorry to hear that you were laughed at.
I'm a female teacher and always tell both my female and male students to be careful with their drinks! Some of the male students joke about it at the start, but when I tell them about they could get robbed or a girl could try to force a child on them they sobber up.
Good point. I'm going to have the talk with my nephew as well.
Load More Replies...Today's society it's all about : f**k you white mens. you don't have problem. why do you think men don't talk? have a high suicidal rate?
It's just must harder for people to believe that white men have been the victim of a crime or some kind of discrimination. This leads to it being much more shameful for them to report it, because they're supposed to have all the "privilege". We have to just start ignoring everyone's race and gender and understand that suffering is suffering, no matter who experiences it.
Load More Replies...Um no. It is good advice, especially when needing to gather information to give to a doctor. If abrasions are found, it could help get a rape kit test. The advice is solid.
Load More Replies...I didn't get drugged but I was harassed and sexually assaulted by a female boss. She would constantly ask me about whether I was circumcised or snipped. Told me about her gentalia, told me about explicit dreams she had about me. On a work trip, after drinking she put her hands down my pants in public. In addition, she would constantly put down and attack my spouse, despite not knowing her; trying to sow division. Eventually, after we no longer worked together but had stayed in contact - she was well connected in a small industry and could damage my career - she turned on me, started spreading lies, and then started threatening to falsely accuse me, which forced me to engage a lawyer. Despite this, despite evidence, where she admitted to assaulting me, no one took it seriously. Successful, attractive woman - i'm an average guy at best - so it was dismissed with the usual, I must have liked it, wanted it, was lucky to have it happen, "if it did happen".
It doesn't only happen to women... but what sux is that how many guys would laugh at it as say "you got lucky!" WOW!
yo have to be a super shitty friend if one of your friend, man or woman, come to you telling that something happen to them, and you laugh
Happened to me back in the 70s when someone dropped a Quaalude in my beer. I've always had a lower tolerance for downers and an hour later I was reportedly out like a light. I woke up the next day all alone in an after-hours punk club after the sun had risen. I only learned later that my friends had prevented others from writing on my face with markers. I was told these hard-core punks stayed close and told people, "No. That's Stan. People don't fVck with Stan." 40 + years later I still recall it warmly.
My work mate was spiked one night, a big dude as well, luckily he managed to make it to our office building about 15 mins away from where he was. He was found outside the lift (elevator) passed out and covered in puke, by the security guard, the dude doesn't even drink alcohol.
I was drugged about 24 years ago. I didn't even realise at the time. Fortunately I had friends take me home and look after me. It was only about 5 years later that I even heard about date rape drugs and realised that was what happened to me. Stsy vigilant folks x
It has happened to me in Miami, Munchen, and Elkins West Virginia, where they wanted to know where I really was from. But I know a bit of drugs and it's difficult for me now to loose control.
Why would I disbelieve a man being drugged? For theft, for a "joke" (that has happened), to be assaulted sexually (yes, it happens).....It may be "less likely", but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I'm tired of this being a gendered issue. It's wrong. The end.
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