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Guy Shocked At GF’s Reaction To Him Defending His Mom And House: “Doesn’t Believe In Violence”
Guy Shocked At GF’s Reaction To Him Defending His Mom And House: “Doesn’t Believe In Violence”
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Guy Shocked At GF’s Reaction To Him Defending His Mom And House: “Doesn’t Believe In Violence”

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The possibility of an intruder breaking into your home is a truly terrifying one. In 2024, there were around 2.5 million burglaries in the U.S. It’s natural to want to protect your material belongings and loved ones, but people often disagree on the ways to do that.

This couple got into an argument after the boyfriend refused to apologize for the way he defended his home and his ailing mother. The girlfriend believed that violence was never the answer, and the guy was more of a realist. Both refusing to budge, they reached an impasse: who was actually right?

RELATED:

    After one fateful night, a man and his GF found out they had differing views about protecting their home from intruders

    Night view of a dimly lit house exterior, front porch light on, suggesting a cautious home defense stance.

    Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)

    As their conflict continued, the guy sought opinions online on whether he handled the attempted home invasion badly

    Text about a man defending his decision to use a gun against intruders during a home invasion incident.

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    Text discussing a man defending his decision to threaten intruders with a gun after a break-in attempt.

    Text describing a man defending his decision to confront intruders with a gun, detailing his protective actions.

    Text about a guy threatening intruders with a gun if they attempted to break in again.

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    Text recounting a man's decision to threaten intruders with a gun despite objections.

    Man in a white shirt arguing with a woman in a black blazer, gesturing defensively in a heated discussion.

    Image credits: pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Text discussing police response to intruders, highlighting security concerns and protective actions.

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    Text describing a man's defense of his decision to confront intruders with a gun for his family's safety.

    Text image discussing a debate on violence and self-defense decisions.

    Text expressing a person's defense of their decision to protect themselves and others with a gun.

    Image credits:

    Image credits: freepik

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    It can be hard when couples disagree about political issues, yet they should still strive to find common values in their differing views

    Couples have disagreements about lots of things: what to eat for dinner, whose parents to visit for Thanksgiving, and where to put that new artwork one of them just bought. However, some conflicts can be about their core beliefs, such as having children, the institution of marriage, or gun ownership.

    A 2024 poll revealed that when dating, 27% of women think that owning a gun is a red flag. In contrast, only 13% of the respondents who were men thought the same. But would it be a deal-breaker? According to one survey, it might be, because it’s the fifth most popular interest that would be a deal-breaker for both men and women.

    So, when partners disagree about ownership, it can become quite a strain on the relationship. Generally, experts recommend respecting each other’s views and opinions, however hard that might be. The partners don’t need to agree on the issue, they just need to respect one another’s opinion.

    According to Gottman-certified therapist Dr. Kathy McMahon, it’s hard, maybe downright impossible, to change your partner’s political views. The same goes for such an issue as gun ownership. Yet you still should strive to understand your partner’s perspective.

    “Couples can strive to find common values, such as a shared commitment to justice, compassion, or the well-being of their family, to bridge the gap between their differing beliefs,” Dr. McMahon writes.

    Image credits: freepik

    Men and women in the U.S. have very different views towards firearms

    If we were to believe gender stereotypes, we would probably say that the conflict in the OP’s story is a classic one. Man believes he’s the protector of the house, hence, he gets a firearm and isn’t afraid to use it just like any other guy in an ’80s action movie. Interestingly, data shows that men are more likely than women to own guns; almost two times more likely!

    According to a 2022 Gallup survey, there’s a pretty significant gender gap when it comes to gun ownership and attitudes towards its laws in the U.S. More men than women have been gun owners in the past 20 years, for example. In 2022, 43% of men said they own a gun, while only 22% of women admitted to being gun owners.

    Men and women also have differing views when it comes to gun ownership laws. Women tend to have stricter opinions, thinking that the country needs to regulate gun ownership more. In fact, 62% of women respondents said that the sale of firearms should be made more strict. In contrast, 51% of men thought the same.

    Interestingly, even if they’re gun owners, women would want to see stricter gun laws, as 40% of the women respondents said so. Men, on the other hand, seem to be more lax, as 32% of the respondents said they would like gun ownership to be more regulated.

    Many people sided with the man: “I would take a very long look at my girlfriend”

    Reddit user defends decision to threaten intruders, mentions using a revolver, rifle, or shotgun, followed by a skillet.

    Online discussion about self-defense with firearms, highlighting differing perspectives on gun use for protection.

    User defends his decision to threaten intruders with a gun in an online comment exchange.

    Reddit thread discussing a guy's decision to threaten intruders, with opposing views and concerns about violence.

    Reddit comments discussing a man's defense of using a gun to threaten intruders.

    Comments discussing and defending the use of a gun for defense, mentioning being Texan.

    Reddit comments discussing defending a home and gun owner responsibilities.

    Reddit comment with 17.1k points, discussing defending mother.

    Comment defending decision to threaten intruders, emphasizing logic and protection of home and family over potential danger.

    Reddit comment defending decision to threaten intruders with a gun, suggesting a shotgun is more intimidating and amusing.

    Comment questioning intention of intruders and suggesting not to shoot them, related to defending decision with a gun.

    Text exchange defending decision to threaten intruders with a gun, citing safety concerns and potential harm.

    Comment referencing a guy defending his decision to threaten intruders, criticizing a girlfriend's lack of understanding.

    Online comment defending decision to threaten intruders, questioning someone's reaction and loyalty.

    Text comment defending gun threat against intruders, praising decision for prioritizing safety over criminals' concern.

    Reddit comment defending the right to threaten intruders with a gun for home and family protection.

    Comment discussing defense decision, mentioning privilege.

    Reddit post discussing life experiences, mutual respect, and defending decisions on safety.

    Reddit comment defending a guy's decision to confront intruders, discussing police response.

    User comment defending the decision to threaten intruders with a gun in a discussion thread.

    Reddit comment defending decision to threaten intruders with a gun, describing potential danger escalation.

    Reddit comment discussing self-defense, mentioning use of a gun to deter intruders.

    Comment text defending use of a gun against intruders.

    Reddit comment defending decision to confront intruders, mentioning flight or fight reactions.

    Comment supporting decision to threaten intruders, citing self-defense and slow police response in rural areas.

    Text post discussing reactions to a home invasion and threatening intruders.

    Reddit comment by TheRoundSuperman: "Nta" with 38 points.

    Comment supporting decision to defend against intruders, addressing relationship stress.

    Comment discussing defending intruders with a gun for protection, mentioning an older woman's perspective on safety.

    Comment supporting use of gun for defense against intruders, mentioning relationship advice.

    Comment discussing relationship impact after threatening intruders with a gun.

    Comment supporting self-defense with a gun, referencing family protection and constitutional rights.

    Others blamed him for not taking gun safety seriously and possibly putting his mother and GF in even more danger

    Comment discussing self-defense laws and consequences of threatening intruders with a gun.

    Comment criticizing a man's decision to threaten intruders with a gun, questioning his actions and firearm use.

    Reddit comment discussing a home intrusion and gun defense decision.

    Comment criticizing a person's decision about gun use against intruders.

    Reddit comment discussing the risks and consequences of defending against intruders with a gun.

    A text response defending a decision to threaten intruders, emphasizing understanding and different perspectives.

    Comment criticizing gun threat as a response to intruders, calling the person violent.

    Comment criticizing a decision to threaten intruders with a gun, suggesting alternative actions for safety.

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    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Read less »
    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Rugilė Baltrunaitė

    Rugilė Baltrunaitė

    Author, Community member

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    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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    Rugilė Baltrunaitė

    Rugilė Baltrunaitė

    Author, Community member

    This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

    What do you think ?
    similarly
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What does GF seriously think these people are going to do if they get inside? Does she seriously think they'll all become friends and sit around and drink tea and talk about love and peace?

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the GF is one of those people who do not accept/understand that bad things can happen to you even in the safety of your own home (the "it'll never happen to ME!" mindset.) GF probably doesn't think that she could be raped and killed in her own home if someone broke in. Asking them to leave won't work, and sometimes the police won't show up in time even if you call them as someone is breaking in (not saying that the cops won't come immediately, but saying that one can be raped and killed within minutes - before the police arrive.) We had an ex-employee break into our home in 2020 and assault my elderly mother - my dad's caregiver called the cops and luckily a police cruiser was literally one block away, but it still took him ~3-5 min to arrive. The ex-employee wasn't armed (fortunately) and I had run downstairs when I heard noises, and all 5'5" of me was roar-screaming at the dude (he was at least 6'5", lol) to eff off, but my rage stunned him long enough for the cop to arrive.

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    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What world do some of these YTAs live in? Those guys weren't there to give you a copy of the Watchtower or talk to you about your car's extended warranty. I have a Taurus Judge with home defense loads, makes a mess of the intruder and I don't kill any neighbors. However, shooting through doors is an absolute no no.

    Papa
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You mentioned not killing the neighbors. That's why when my daughter moved into an apartment by herself I bought her a shotgun instead of a pistol. Someone knocked on her door once in the wee hours, saying it was a pizza delivery. She didn't order a pizza, and told him so, but he said she should take it anyway, and wouldn't leave. She finally grabbed the shotgun and racked it. After hearing that distinctive sound he decided it was time to go.

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    Lantana Howell
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA unless you stay with her. You did the right thing and she is unlikely to change her mind. This is the epitome of an irreconcilable difference.

    Ash
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sadly, you can't fix stupid. (referring to gf in this situ)

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    ThisIsMe
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll keep this short. Once upon a time, I was that GF. But then one day, still light outside and I'm home alone as my husband had just gone to run an errand. Someone starts trying to beat down the side door of my very suburban home. It continues while I yell at them, while on phone with police, stops shortly before police arrive. I didn't own a gun because I didn't believe in violence. I own a gun now, have a concealed carry permit (although I never carry the gun with me), have taken shooting lessons, and would not hesitate to shoot someone coming through a door into my home. PS. They found the guy a few houses away in a different subdivision, covered in blood from where he used a table leg to beat the doorknob - leg broken and cut him. Canine founds him easily. He was charged with aggravated vandalism and trespassing, served 90 days. Changed my life. Okay, I guess this wasn't short LOL

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In this discussion, your existence is invaluable. Thank you for posting what you did. Is there anything you can think of (other than a real life situation) that could have changed your mind.

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    Valerie Woods
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sir, I suggest you get yourself a girl from a country setting. She'll have more common sense, life skills, and most likely a gun of her own.

    Orysha
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most of the ytas are stupid morons. Unless there was a cop patrol in the neighbourhood, they often come too late (if they come). Don't expect intruders to nicely wait for them. The girlfriend is either totally naive or an accomplice.

    Wheeskers
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Screw THAT. You start breaking in our house you're gonna get blasted. When some one breaks down her door and takes advantage... Your GF may feel differently.

    Jessica S
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dude used EOF. Escalation of force. Shout, (make the perps verbally aware you're armed.), show, (show your weapon), shove,(shove perp away), shoot to wound, shoot to kill. It a situation like this EOF is crucial. It's allowed to skip levels of the perps are not responding or continue the crime. True, laws are different all over the country but in that situation, id rather be ready than watch my loved ones suffer.

    Dusty's mom
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do not have children with this woman. She'll hand the babies over to the first person across the threshold. You can do way better for your future progeny!

    Sea Squirrel
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once used my huge MagLite and a lot of noise to chase away a guy who tried to get in. The rushing adrenaline and anger made me so strong and aggressive that I didn't only scare him. I also scared myself. Could have ki!!ed him. It's a good thing that I don't own a gun. (and I should have called the police, but that didn't even cross my mind)

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I took a firearms safety course years ago in order to at least familiarize myself with guns/how to shoot. I don't have any interest in owning a gun, but I didn't want to be scared of them. We did a "roleplay" session at the end of the course where they put up a big projector screen and gave you a laser-gun, and played a (random) filmed scenario that you had to participate in like a play/scene. The instructor could pause and choose different "endings", depending on how you acted/reacted. I got a scenario where I was an armed security guard and someone had climbed the fence. I apparently told him to freeze and said other things, but I was so full of adrenaline (and terrified, lol) that I didn't remember what I said 30 seconds afterwards. But apparently my voice dropped several octaves and was VERY intimidating (according to the instructor and the other students.) I now call that my Gun Voice XD But yeah, for most people, being aggressive and threatening is scary and can scare us too!

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    Just stopping by
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He needs to find someone else she's going to get him killed. Too naive.

    CP
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Every person was too naive at certain points in their life. Is that a hard and fast rule you have?

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    and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am very, very anti-gun. I absolutely would have had no problem with OP in this situation. Was it the best choice? Who knows. Did it work? Yes, and that’s what’s important.

    ElfVibratorGlitter
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a white lady. I own guns and other less than lethal weapons. If you come into my house, I will shoot you. I do find the shotgun (and racking it) to be a lot more effective in scaring off people than the 9mm snub nose I have. Black, white, purple, green...we all deserve to be safe in our own homes. Period.

    Disgruntled Panda
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You're a p***y because you didn't shoot them". WHYYYYYY??? Because you didn't jump on the chance to shoot someone?

    Nichole Harris
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dude is seriously nta ....I don't even think I'd have been that lenient..... Y'all gotta leave or I'm shooting 😂 one warning..... In my county and state I just gotta drag them inside🤣

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fantastic. Thank you for your service to the community 😄

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    Dragons Exist
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is gf a main character in a 2010s animated kids superhero series? Seems like it, the way she somehow thinks that there's never ANY reason to threaten someone with a gun (would she rather have them break in and get shot without a threat? the police definitely wouldn't have gotten there fast enough)

    WorkAholic1
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, definitely NOT the AH. I'm a white woman from a nice quiet town. I wholeheartedly agree with you! Someone trying to kick in the door to MY house at 3 a.m.?! Yes, sir, I'm calling the police and I'm grabbing a gun and doing exactly what you did. Your girlfriend is a sheltered soul. Bless her for believing that violence is not necessary or needed, but she needs a reality check. I wonder what her solution to what happened would be?

    TheReader19
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a black woman in the uk, we aren't aloud to have guns here. But believe me; I've given my daughters and myself a knife under our beds

    Gogubaci
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    gf didn't grow up past peppa pig

    Schmebulock
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    GF is a stupid twat. It's never going to work long term, break up and move on.

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No blood spilled so NTA. He could have yelled at those guys without the gun and just lied and they would have ran. Thieves are cowards. They're looking for targets of opportunity. It doesn't take much to scare them off.

    Robin Roper
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But he told them he had a weapon and they didn't leave. They only left when they heard the weapon c**k.

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    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are far more likely to shoot a friend or family member than an intruder when you are waving a gun around. Also, as a black man, it’s unlikely to end well for you. You should defend your home but dial it way back.

    CP
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It isn't waving a gun around, it is having a gun in the home. But yes, you are more likely to harm someone that is of no threat to you.

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    Sarah Léon
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last year, someone (a kid I think) manage to come into my house during the night to steal my wallet. I heard a noise and saw a light but I thought it was from a car and didn't move. When I got up, I found the backdoor opened and my wallet gone. Thankfully the police retrieved the wallet and everything inside (except 3€ because that's all the money I had...) so everything was fine. But what if I'd gone down that night ? What if I'd seen the guy and he'd seen me ? I had some nightmares for a few nights after that and now I check my doors twice before going to bed. I live in France and I can't have a gun and I think guns are scary so I won't have one if I could. But I have a BBgun that looks very real and I know I would show it if someone would try to come into my home. If they try to force themselves inside, it's not for milk and cookies so they deserve what they'll have.

    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm non-confrontational as all hell and I wouldn't be screaming "DON'T SHOOT THEM" when someone is trying to break in. I agree with the comments that GF was in on it.

    Lyoness
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am again incredibly glad I live in a country where it's very hard to get ahold of a gun unless you're law enforcement. I truthfully don't know a single person with a handgun, simply because we don't need them.

    Je souhaite
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe she'll feel differently about things if she ever finds herself fighting for her own life

    Rizzo
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She will not protect you with her life. Drop her.

    Anna Drever
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’d like to think I’m a pacifist but if someone is breaking into my home then I’m going to defend myself and my loved ones. Pacifism isn’t about rolling over and letting others harm you. In an ideal world we’d all love one another, but back on planet reality…

    René Sauer
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Little sheltered Disney princess.

    Kim Kermes
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Old white suburban woman. WTAF was she not calling 911? The only thing I'd have done differently was to yell I'm shooting the first one through the door, and anyone that comes after them, then backing to the kitchen door. Only if she's otherwise fantastic is it worth trying to educate her with a vist to the local PDs homicide department for some graphic details, preferably with photos.

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only time I'll ever accept gun violence, under potential threat. I am not advocating violence but when push comes to shove, I'd rather be the one pulling the trigger than taking the bullet, blade etc. What was OP's delulu GF thinking??? Kicking at the door is not a threat? I would like to wish no harm unto others, but if the delulu GF and these YTA dumbskulls ever find themselves in this kind of situation, well, can't say they weren't told to prepare for it aka change that moronic mindset that violence isn't the answer. It isn't ALWAYS the answer instead. Good luck in talking down the perpetrators trying to barge in or waiting for the police who could be miles away while that door holding them back is just a splinter away from snapping. SMH!!!

    FluffyDreg
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA but responses could have been better. I don't like guns but I have respect for people who use them as they are designed for. Obviously panicking isn't good, but since he seems genuinely understanding that his actions could have been better? That's not an AH thats someone frightened and trying his best, while learning to be better. Sometimes you DO have to defend yourself. It's not ideal, and violence shouldn't be where you go FIRST. But if someone is threatening you? Your life first. Then you can worry about theirs.

    Carol Bland
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Girlfriend is a hypocrite. She didn't call the police to resolve it without violence. She didn't go and reassure your mother. She didn't put the teakettle on. She didn't light incense.

    James King
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Despite what the reality-denying among us like to believe, there are people out there that want to do unspeakable things to you, and focused violence is an effective deterrent.

    Nina
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pampered white princess will never understand. It'll be cruel to hope she does one day, but the truth is, she probably will.

    BrownEyedPanda
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My brother had an obnoxious friend who took a liking to my older sister. He could never speak at a normal decibel (HEY, PRECIOUS!) One fine morning, before 6am, he decides to beat on our front door, looking for my brother. "HEY, PRECIOUS! PRECIOUS!" Rather pìssed, my sister answered the door and snapped, "Will you keep it down?! My dad's asleep!" He immediately pushed past her, entered my father's room, and shouted, "HEY, HOW YOU DOING, M**********R?!"

    BrownEyedPanda
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My father said nothing, just slowly sipped his coffee, the quiet demeanor unusual for him. The reason? Underneath the covers, locked and loaded, was his .38 special. He was an ex-con, and the gun wasn't registered. He knew what the consequences were, should he decide to pull the trigger. But he had three daughters in the house, all under the age of 20. That was where his concern lay. There are no atheists in foxholes, but there ARE idiots in cemeteries.

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    jmdirks
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTA's are insane on this one. My first thought is that gf is in on it and dose't want her criminal friends hurt.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We call people like that girlfriend "rabbit people". They stand there and shiver while the neighborhood evil stomps on their babies and ends them. Worthless. I'd dump her. Your life is worth so much more than a criminal's life.

    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG OP dump this limp-wristed little girl and find a real woman worth her salt!

    CP
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am no fan of guns, but this story is fine. Threatening to shoot someone isn't shooting someone. Had he blindly shot through the door, that would be another story.

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a college professor like this. Said he wouldn't use violence to defend himself, his wife, or his (then minor) children. I always wondered how he found someone as stupid as him to have children with. I'm sad to learn there's more than one woman like this out there.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did OP dump her dim-witted a$$ yet ?

    BookFanatic
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    White chick from a sheltered background here. If somebody breaks into my house, far as I'm concerned they're fair game for however I can defend myself. That includes guns.

    Kathy Dragonfly
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh wow, has bp been taken over by the shoot-first-ask-questions-later gun lobby since yesterday? That was fast!

    Dragons Exist
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then what? Tell the intruders and hope they run off, then sit and wait until they get there? Do you realize that they could've broken in and robbed / murdered / ràped / etc and gotten out before the police got there?

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    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    White woman here 60 yrs old I live out in the sticks in uk n im often alone when my kids are out at work they 23-20 n if anyone tried s**t here first they meet my dogs ! Then they meet me I know which one’s safer it ain’t the dogs !!! n the one is a rottie corso ! Other a staffie both lush soppy dogs wouldn’t recommend attacking any of us mind but if guns were legal in uk id have no problem having one for protection I am also housebound to and op def NTA your snowflake gf is ! She’s pathetic and I,ll bet she was in on it given her attitude sometimes just the threat of a gun is more than enough like hearing my bigger dog bark is no one said you would have used it just made it clear you would if needed you did what any sane person would do blessed be n I hope your mums ok x

    Nils Skirnir
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I really don’t believe this one. At least not the entirety of the gf’s supposed comments.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are a LOT of people who are afraid of guns (which is not a bad thing in and of itself) but do not realize/understand that bad things can happen to you even in the safety of your own home (the "It'll never happen to ME" mindset.) GF probably doesn't want to accept that she can be raped and killed in her own home if someone breaks in, and that asking them nicely to leave won't help, and sometimes the police won't show up in time even if you call them as someone is breaking in - not that the cops won't come immediately, but that you can be raped and killed within minutes. I honestly think the GF's comments are real - she is one of those people who blanketly thinks "all guns are evil" (they are inherently not evil, they are just things until someone uses them for crime.)

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    similarly
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What does GF seriously think these people are going to do if they get inside? Does she seriously think they'll all become friends and sit around and drink tea and talk about love and peace?

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the GF is one of those people who do not accept/understand that bad things can happen to you even in the safety of your own home (the "it'll never happen to ME!" mindset.) GF probably doesn't think that she could be raped and killed in her own home if someone broke in. Asking them to leave won't work, and sometimes the police won't show up in time even if you call them as someone is breaking in (not saying that the cops won't come immediately, but saying that one can be raped and killed within minutes - before the police arrive.) We had an ex-employee break into our home in 2020 and assault my elderly mother - my dad's caregiver called the cops and luckily a police cruiser was literally one block away, but it still took him ~3-5 min to arrive. The ex-employee wasn't armed (fortunately) and I had run downstairs when I heard noises, and all 5'5" of me was roar-screaming at the dude (he was at least 6'5", lol) to eff off, but my rage stunned him long enough for the cop to arrive.

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    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What world do some of these YTAs live in? Those guys weren't there to give you a copy of the Watchtower or talk to you about your car's extended warranty. I have a Taurus Judge with home defense loads, makes a mess of the intruder and I don't kill any neighbors. However, shooting through doors is an absolute no no.

    Papa
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You mentioned not killing the neighbors. That's why when my daughter moved into an apartment by herself I bought her a shotgun instead of a pistol. Someone knocked on her door once in the wee hours, saying it was a pizza delivery. She didn't order a pizza, and told him so, but he said she should take it anyway, and wouldn't leave. She finally grabbed the shotgun and racked it. After hearing that distinctive sound he decided it was time to go.

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    Lantana Howell
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA unless you stay with her. You did the right thing and she is unlikely to change her mind. This is the epitome of an irreconcilable difference.

    Ash
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sadly, you can't fix stupid. (referring to gf in this situ)

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    ThisIsMe
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll keep this short. Once upon a time, I was that GF. But then one day, still light outside and I'm home alone as my husband had just gone to run an errand. Someone starts trying to beat down the side door of my very suburban home. It continues while I yell at them, while on phone with police, stops shortly before police arrive. I didn't own a gun because I didn't believe in violence. I own a gun now, have a concealed carry permit (although I never carry the gun with me), have taken shooting lessons, and would not hesitate to shoot someone coming through a door into my home. PS. They found the guy a few houses away in a different subdivision, covered in blood from where he used a table leg to beat the doorknob - leg broken and cut him. Canine founds him easily. He was charged with aggravated vandalism and trespassing, served 90 days. Changed my life. Okay, I guess this wasn't short LOL

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In this discussion, your existence is invaluable. Thank you for posting what you did. Is there anything you can think of (other than a real life situation) that could have changed your mind.

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    Valerie Woods
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sir, I suggest you get yourself a girl from a country setting. She'll have more common sense, life skills, and most likely a gun of her own.

    Orysha
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most of the ytas are stupid morons. Unless there was a cop patrol in the neighbourhood, they often come too late (if they come). Don't expect intruders to nicely wait for them. The girlfriend is either totally naive or an accomplice.

    Wheeskers
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Screw THAT. You start breaking in our house you're gonna get blasted. When some one breaks down her door and takes advantage... Your GF may feel differently.

    Jessica S
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dude used EOF. Escalation of force. Shout, (make the perps verbally aware you're armed.), show, (show your weapon), shove,(shove perp away), shoot to wound, shoot to kill. It a situation like this EOF is crucial. It's allowed to skip levels of the perps are not responding or continue the crime. True, laws are different all over the country but in that situation, id rather be ready than watch my loved ones suffer.

    Dusty's mom
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do not have children with this woman. She'll hand the babies over to the first person across the threshold. You can do way better for your future progeny!

    Sea Squirrel
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once used my huge MagLite and a lot of noise to chase away a guy who tried to get in. The rushing adrenaline and anger made me so strong and aggressive that I didn't only scare him. I also scared myself. Could have ki!!ed him. It's a good thing that I don't own a gun. (and I should have called the police, but that didn't even cross my mind)

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I took a firearms safety course years ago in order to at least familiarize myself with guns/how to shoot. I don't have any interest in owning a gun, but I didn't want to be scared of them. We did a "roleplay" session at the end of the course where they put up a big projector screen and gave you a laser-gun, and played a (random) filmed scenario that you had to participate in like a play/scene. The instructor could pause and choose different "endings", depending on how you acted/reacted. I got a scenario where I was an armed security guard and someone had climbed the fence. I apparently told him to freeze and said other things, but I was so full of adrenaline (and terrified, lol) that I didn't remember what I said 30 seconds afterwards. But apparently my voice dropped several octaves and was VERY intimidating (according to the instructor and the other students.) I now call that my Gun Voice XD But yeah, for most people, being aggressive and threatening is scary and can scare us too!

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    Just stopping by
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He needs to find someone else she's going to get him killed. Too naive.

    CP
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Every person was too naive at certain points in their life. Is that a hard and fast rule you have?

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    and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am very, very anti-gun. I absolutely would have had no problem with OP in this situation. Was it the best choice? Who knows. Did it work? Yes, and that’s what’s important.

    ElfVibratorGlitter
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a white lady. I own guns and other less than lethal weapons. If you come into my house, I will shoot you. I do find the shotgun (and racking it) to be a lot more effective in scaring off people than the 9mm snub nose I have. Black, white, purple, green...we all deserve to be safe in our own homes. Period.

    Disgruntled Panda
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You're a p***y because you didn't shoot them". WHYYYYYY??? Because you didn't jump on the chance to shoot someone?

    Nichole Harris
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dude is seriously nta ....I don't even think I'd have been that lenient..... Y'all gotta leave or I'm shooting 😂 one warning..... In my county and state I just gotta drag them inside🤣

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fantastic. Thank you for your service to the community 😄

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    Dragons Exist
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is gf a main character in a 2010s animated kids superhero series? Seems like it, the way she somehow thinks that there's never ANY reason to threaten someone with a gun (would she rather have them break in and get shot without a threat? the police definitely wouldn't have gotten there fast enough)

    WorkAholic1
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, definitely NOT the AH. I'm a white woman from a nice quiet town. I wholeheartedly agree with you! Someone trying to kick in the door to MY house at 3 a.m.?! Yes, sir, I'm calling the police and I'm grabbing a gun and doing exactly what you did. Your girlfriend is a sheltered soul. Bless her for believing that violence is not necessary or needed, but she needs a reality check. I wonder what her solution to what happened would be?

    TheReader19
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a black woman in the uk, we aren't aloud to have guns here. But believe me; I've given my daughters and myself a knife under our beds

    Gogubaci
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    gf didn't grow up past peppa pig

    Schmebulock
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    GF is a stupid twat. It's never going to work long term, break up and move on.

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No blood spilled so NTA. He could have yelled at those guys without the gun and just lied and they would have ran. Thieves are cowards. They're looking for targets of opportunity. It doesn't take much to scare them off.

    Robin Roper
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But he told them he had a weapon and they didn't leave. They only left when they heard the weapon c**k.

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    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are far more likely to shoot a friend or family member than an intruder when you are waving a gun around. Also, as a black man, it’s unlikely to end well for you. You should defend your home but dial it way back.

    CP
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It isn't waving a gun around, it is having a gun in the home. But yes, you are more likely to harm someone that is of no threat to you.

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    Sarah Léon
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last year, someone (a kid I think) manage to come into my house during the night to steal my wallet. I heard a noise and saw a light but I thought it was from a car and didn't move. When I got up, I found the backdoor opened and my wallet gone. Thankfully the police retrieved the wallet and everything inside (except 3€ because that's all the money I had...) so everything was fine. But what if I'd gone down that night ? What if I'd seen the guy and he'd seen me ? I had some nightmares for a few nights after that and now I check my doors twice before going to bed. I live in France and I can't have a gun and I think guns are scary so I won't have one if I could. But I have a BBgun that looks very real and I know I would show it if someone would try to come into my home. If they try to force themselves inside, it's not for milk and cookies so they deserve what they'll have.

    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm non-confrontational as all hell and I wouldn't be screaming "DON'T SHOOT THEM" when someone is trying to break in. I agree with the comments that GF was in on it.

    Lyoness
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am again incredibly glad I live in a country where it's very hard to get ahold of a gun unless you're law enforcement. I truthfully don't know a single person with a handgun, simply because we don't need them.

    Je souhaite
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe she'll feel differently about things if she ever finds herself fighting for her own life

    Rizzo
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She will not protect you with her life. Drop her.

    Anna Drever
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’d like to think I’m a pacifist but if someone is breaking into my home then I’m going to defend myself and my loved ones. Pacifism isn’t about rolling over and letting others harm you. In an ideal world we’d all love one another, but back on planet reality…

    René Sauer
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Little sheltered Disney princess.

    Kim Kermes
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Old white suburban woman. WTAF was she not calling 911? The only thing I'd have done differently was to yell I'm shooting the first one through the door, and anyone that comes after them, then backing to the kitchen door. Only if she's otherwise fantastic is it worth trying to educate her with a vist to the local PDs homicide department for some graphic details, preferably with photos.

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only time I'll ever accept gun violence, under potential threat. I am not advocating violence but when push comes to shove, I'd rather be the one pulling the trigger than taking the bullet, blade etc. What was OP's delulu GF thinking??? Kicking at the door is not a threat? I would like to wish no harm unto others, but if the delulu GF and these YTA dumbskulls ever find themselves in this kind of situation, well, can't say they weren't told to prepare for it aka change that moronic mindset that violence isn't the answer. It isn't ALWAYS the answer instead. Good luck in talking down the perpetrators trying to barge in or waiting for the police who could be miles away while that door holding them back is just a splinter away from snapping. SMH!!!

    FluffyDreg
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA but responses could have been better. I don't like guns but I have respect for people who use them as they are designed for. Obviously panicking isn't good, but since he seems genuinely understanding that his actions could have been better? That's not an AH thats someone frightened and trying his best, while learning to be better. Sometimes you DO have to defend yourself. It's not ideal, and violence shouldn't be where you go FIRST. But if someone is threatening you? Your life first. Then you can worry about theirs.

    Carol Bland
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Girlfriend is a hypocrite. She didn't call the police to resolve it without violence. She didn't go and reassure your mother. She didn't put the teakettle on. She didn't light incense.

    James King
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Despite what the reality-denying among us like to believe, there are people out there that want to do unspeakable things to you, and focused violence is an effective deterrent.

    Nina
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pampered white princess will never understand. It'll be cruel to hope she does one day, but the truth is, she probably will.

    BrownEyedPanda
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My brother had an obnoxious friend who took a liking to my older sister. He could never speak at a normal decibel (HEY, PRECIOUS!) One fine morning, before 6am, he decides to beat on our front door, looking for my brother. "HEY, PRECIOUS! PRECIOUS!" Rather pìssed, my sister answered the door and snapped, "Will you keep it down?! My dad's asleep!" He immediately pushed past her, entered my father's room, and shouted, "HEY, HOW YOU DOING, M**********R?!"

    BrownEyedPanda
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My father said nothing, just slowly sipped his coffee, the quiet demeanor unusual for him. The reason? Underneath the covers, locked and loaded, was his .38 special. He was an ex-con, and the gun wasn't registered. He knew what the consequences were, should he decide to pull the trigger. But he had three daughters in the house, all under the age of 20. That was where his concern lay. There are no atheists in foxholes, but there ARE idiots in cemeteries.

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    jmdirks
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTA's are insane on this one. My first thought is that gf is in on it and dose't want her criminal friends hurt.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We call people like that girlfriend "rabbit people". They stand there and shiver while the neighborhood evil stomps on their babies and ends them. Worthless. I'd dump her. Your life is worth so much more than a criminal's life.

    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG OP dump this limp-wristed little girl and find a real woman worth her salt!

    CP
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am no fan of guns, but this story is fine. Threatening to shoot someone isn't shooting someone. Had he blindly shot through the door, that would be another story.

    Bookworm
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a college professor like this. Said he wouldn't use violence to defend himself, his wife, or his (then minor) children. I always wondered how he found someone as stupid as him to have children with. I'm sad to learn there's more than one woman like this out there.

    LongFang
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did OP dump her dim-witted a$$ yet ?

    BookFanatic
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    White chick from a sheltered background here. If somebody breaks into my house, far as I'm concerned they're fair game for however I can defend myself. That includes guns.

    Kathy Dragonfly
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh wow, has bp been taken over by the shoot-first-ask-questions-later gun lobby since yesterday? That was fast!

    Dragons Exist
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then what? Tell the intruders and hope they run off, then sit and wait until they get there? Do you realize that they could've broken in and robbed / murdered / ràped / etc and gotten out before the police got there?

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    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    White woman here 60 yrs old I live out in the sticks in uk n im often alone when my kids are out at work they 23-20 n if anyone tried s**t here first they meet my dogs ! Then they meet me I know which one’s safer it ain’t the dogs !!! n the one is a rottie corso ! Other a staffie both lush soppy dogs wouldn’t recommend attacking any of us mind but if guns were legal in uk id have no problem having one for protection I am also housebound to and op def NTA your snowflake gf is ! She’s pathetic and I,ll bet she was in on it given her attitude sometimes just the threat of a gun is more than enough like hearing my bigger dog bark is no one said you would have used it just made it clear you would if needed you did what any sane person would do blessed be n I hope your mums ok x

    Nils Skirnir
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I really don’t believe this one. At least not the entirety of the gf’s supposed comments.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are a LOT of people who are afraid of guns (which is not a bad thing in and of itself) but do not realize/understand that bad things can happen to you even in the safety of your own home (the "It'll never happen to ME" mindset.) GF probably doesn't want to accept that she can be raped and killed in her own home if someone breaks in, and that asking them nicely to leave won't help, and sometimes the police won't show up in time even if you call them as someone is breaking in - not that the cops won't come immediately, but that you can be raped and killed within minutes. I honestly think the GF's comments are real - she is one of those people who blanketly thinks "all guns are evil" (they are inherently not evil, they are just things until someone uses them for crime.)

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