I currently have 4 pets. Haven't traveled/gone on vacation for years - the last time was just a one-hour drive down to San Diego for a weekend and we took the oldest cat with us (she was the only pet we had at the time, lol.) OP is NTA. I wouldn't leave any of my pets behind for an ENTIRE YEAR, not even to travel to some dream destination. That's not fair to the pet at all - suddenly their human is just gone, forever (as far as they can tell.) It's really up to the individuals - if you can't bring your pet with you on a vacation/on your travels, if you're willing to board your pet - then that's fine. If you can't, you're also totally NTA for choosing NOT to travel.

She is 100% NTA. Everyone that chooses to be a parent to a human or animal should always make them a priority. Not just when it's convenient. She made a commitment to take care of her pet for the rest of her pets life and I commend her for that. Don't get a pet if you don't feel the same. I would never do that to my cat either. Even if she could leave her cat with her parents, a year is far to long to be away from them. People need to realize pets aren't just cute little accessories to play with when it works for them. ALL pets deserve an owner that will love and care for them for the rest of their (the pets) life.

I would not let the cat fly all the way to Australia (assuming OOP is in Europe or North America). Too many pets died on plane rides due to neglect. That's a life and death risk that all pet lovers should try to avoid, especially when it's only for a year.

Neither are AH, they just have incompatible priorities. She's prioritising her emotional bond with her cat, and her responsibilities as a cat owner. He's prioritising his desire to live and work in Australia. Neither is making their relationship top priority. He could choose to stay, or try to maintain a long distance relationship. She could arrange for her cat to live with a trusted friend or family member and go with him. Neither sees their relationship as being worth a compromise that involves a major sacrifice. It looks like the relationship has reached it's natural end.

People don't really get it. A person's pet is their child. Would you pick up and leave for a year and abandon your baby? Of course not. The moment you chose to have that pet, that's the outcome of that decision. And if you're being a responsible pet parent, that's the only decision you make. Furthermore, if you get involved with a pet parent, that's the life you're choosing. So she's NTA and he is, a little bit of one, for not seeing what he's invested in. He has to know how this cat is her family. He chose to stay and get involved with her for two years. And now he's surprised or upset that choice involves restrictions?

I totally understand staying with your animal.

Who can afford to vacation for a year?!?

When you get a pet, it's not just an accessory you can leave or dispose of when it becomes inconvenient. By adopting a pet, you have agreed to be responsible for the life and well-being of another living being. You can't abrogate that responsibility when it comes in conflict with things you want to do. Her only choices here are to find the cat a new home who will maintain the cat's current lifestyle, or pass on the trip. Since she doesn't want to part ways with her cat, she made the only choice she could. If he can't understand that, he's the AH.

If you want to travel like that then don't own a pet. The bf is an ah for owning a cat with the op and wanting to ditch the cat for a year or more. By the time they leave for the planned trip the cat will have been with them for 4 years. That's just cruel to the animal to abandon it like that. Animals have strong feelings!

From what I understand about cats, an unusually long separation can result in the cat no longer being friendly towards the owner. A year, in regards to cats, is an awful long time to be separated from one's companion/offspring/heated lap/soft can opener.

Well, if that opportunity Is harvesting fruits, then I would stick with the cat. If the work would impact future carrier and give me new life opportunities etc - I would find a person who would take care for her (probably my mother, who has and loves cats), and tried my luck.

Could you perhaps leave it to live with your parents for a year? Then you at least know that it's getting cared for and get regular updates photos etc and then at the end of the year decide whether you want the cat back or carrying on in Australia..

Nta, it's the ops choice. I travelled Australia and absolutely loved it but it isn't for everyone and if you already know you're going to miss your cat before you even go then why do it. The bf needs to make a choice wether he goes alone or stays.

I need more info. Basically I come from an animal loving family. This means if one of us took off for a year there was another to step in and take care of the pet....frankly that ended up being me 80% of the time and I ended up keeping 2 such pets for "reasons". Basically, if you want to travel then it's a hard one but if you don't care then you've made your choice. But if there is no real reason to say no aka. Mum and dad will happily care of the cat or other same same, then you are really missing out on a huge opportunity.

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The cat would p**s off the day after she stopped feeding it and we all know that. She’s better off going to Australia