Let's put this straight: your wife is an AH, and no couple counseling can solve that problem. As a woman, I can perfectly get that my husband would cry, it shows he has a heart and a strong compassion. Get rid of her and get someone more humane who will understand you.

Two of my ex-boyfriends have cried in front of me. I hugged them and held them and did whatever I could to help them feel better. Any partner who berates and belittles you for showing emotion is not the right person for you.

I've spent a night at the emergency ward in an animal hospital with my cat who was in very bad shape, and I've seen three men bawl during that night: my boyfriend, over our cat, a man who probably had to put his dog down and a dad with his wife and child who thought they'd lost their dog in a car accident (when the dog was led into the waitingroom by a vet, alive and kicking). There is no shame in crying and don't let anyone ever tell you there is.

WORSE THINGS HAVE HAPPENED?????? Hello? Who the f**k says that about the Khmer Rouge?

What the wife did is comparable to people who take nice selfies when they visit a concentration camp like Mauthausen, Auschwits or Birkenau, just to mention 3 out of many, many such camps. They probably don't feel anything because 'it's got nothing to do with me', 'it's in the past' and 'what's done is done'. They are probably capable of some degree of compassion, but only for those close to them. OP, unlike his wife, feels connected to, for lack of a better term, the human experience: he's part of it. The wife, on the other hand, has a much more limited view of her place in the grand scheme of things. What it boils down to is that they are not compatible because of this difference. It's better to divorce. Therapy won't help them getting on the same page: at best it will facilitate a cease-fire of an unspecified duration.

It's fine if you don't cry at a museum about genocide, but if you can't understand why someone would cry, that's got to be a clear sign of being sociopath, if not a serial killer/supervillain/Tory.

Wife without empathy sounds unhealthy as fick! I would not have cried... I would have broke down. The image is in my mind now 😱😱😱... the horror of the human kinds behavior makes me sick. Divorce is ok. She will never get your emotions ❤️

The absolute lack of empathy is appalling. Stoicism is ok. It has it's place in some moments of utility but afterwards break down if you need. I internalized a lot of toxic masculinity and when I was younger tried to hide my sensitive nature. I don't anymore and my relationships are much better with clear open communication that respects the reality of emotions. I could not be with someone who could not understand that I'm going to express myself emotionally irrespective of gender. And, c'mon gendering emotions?

Im a straight woman and Ive considered it an honour when the men I was with felt safe enough with me to cry. And yes, I say safe because people are taught that men shouldnt cry. Also the fact that her insult to him was to call him a woman shows she also hates her own gender. She has lots of issues.

I never used to cry because "men don't cry"! Then after my daughter was born, I realized that holding in emotions is unhealthy. I cried when my daughter was born. I have cried watching movies. I have cried at museums showing man's inhumanity to man. I cried when I was diagnosed with an incurable wasting disease. But sometimes I cry because I am just having a bad day. I will say this: holding back sadness also holds back other emotions. The fact that he could be vulnerable in front of her was a level of intimacy she absolutely destroyed. Let her go find that emotionally unavailable man of her dreams so she can wonder why they don't click.

DTMFA! DTMFA! What human being isn't shaken to the core by visiting one of the most hellish places on earth? What POS would think less of their spouse for being affected by seeing the remains of a genocide? In comparison, my husband cried when our pet rat died (so did I) and we comforted each other. I can't fathom to question his manhood for having a human emotion even over something as "unimportant" as a little rodent, let alone a place where so much evil and endless human suffering occured.

There's enough cavemen around for her to shack up with, and there's enough humane women around for him, so why stay together?

I've only ever seen my father crying once (I'm sure he's cried more, I just haven't seen it). It was strange to see, yes, but only in the sense of I'd never seen him so vulnerable and broken. I certainly didn't think him any less of a man (if we're using gender stereotypes as a reference in relation to this post).

Leave her mate, she is someone with little empathy and one that will dictate how you should be to fulfill her fantasy lest you be psychologically assaulted. So like a narcissist I'd suggest. If this is who she is you'll never be happy in the long run. I'm very sorry for you.

I dont even want to know what she thinks is worse than mass baby murder 😬 what a horrible person

I’d be more concerned that she could go through all that and NOT get upset, that was horrible to read about.

I'm thinking it's less that he was crying, and more that she was feeling judged for not crying. She has explained that she intellectually understands the genocide is terrible, but she is also pragmatic about it being extremely common and not involving her directly, so she is going to divorce herself from investing in it. Her husband having a highly emotive and empathetic reaction is therefore probably making her feel judged and like she's a monster or has something wrong with her since she doesn't feel the way people would expect her to feel. No one likes feeling monstrous, so she is warping this into something being wrong with him. He was wrong for showing these emotions, which means she is still good.

She is one giant red flag. The first time my significant other cried in front of me, I started crying with him. That woman entirely lacks empathy.

This is a very nacissistic, shallow sociopath. A pampered high schooler or 'Suzie Sorority' ditz (thanks for the term, SN!) traipse through Nazi Death Camps or the Killing Camps with a shrug, a smirk, & a "Big Whoops!" A mature stable adult does not. DIvorce Her & RUN!

Thank God she's not a therapist, she NEEDS a therapist. That's appalling.

Yeah, as a woman who was married to an abusive man for 25 years, NOTHING in this world is sexier and more beautiful than a man who isn't afraid to cry. NOTHING. Not chiseled abs, not being 6 feet tall, not fancy clothes, an expensive car, a mansion, buying me tons of expensive gifts and taking me out, not one damn thing in this world is more attractive than a man who shows his emotions. Who is soft and warm and caring and empathetic and tender. If she wants a dman "alpha" male who has a permanent resting b***h face and no empathy, there are planty of the jerks out there for her to choose from. You deserve a woman who loves you for who you are. Not this ise hearted witch.

In 2011, one of my cats died after surgery and related complications. One day, a few days after, I sat in the train, going home from Uni ... and got into crying. The conductor came, asked for my ticket ... of course, he knew me and saw me there every day. That for sure has helped the following issue - I just couldn't do anything else than cry. I'd had fallen asleep on the train (a habit I adopted, thankfully so, independet of time of day, as each way, I could get another 30 min sleep in, which otherwise would have been missing), dreamed about how he slept along my side on my bed, woke up, and all I had in my mind were [cat's name] and "never again". I cried until he just went away... After I had somewhat collected myself, a boy, roughly 14...16, made a comment about what a wuzz I was. It's not my proudest moment, but that AH, I straightened to manners pretty rudely. No serious violence, but a glimpse thereof, ... but, anyway, that crying is among the humans' abilities and, pretty much indifferent to culture and stuff is triggered by similar things, would surprise if it weren't for a somewhat raionally sound reason. Darwin had just as much reason to invent crying like Newton had to invent gravity. Or, a lot shorter: Your genitalia shouldn't determine the flow capacity of your eyes or the use thereof. What reason, at all, could be provided therefore, and not be mendelized off in the male populate, if there was a difference between us in that regard?

Wife is a sociopath with absolutely no empathy for other living things. One cold b***h, quite frankly, and I hope this guy runs for the hills. That kind of coldness in the face of this kind of monstrous tragedy is scary. He deserves better than that. And no, crying is not a sign of weakness in males or females. it's something we all need to do at some point or other. This marriage isn't salvageable with counselling.

One of the things I love the most about my SO is how sensitive and empathetic he is. It would be awful to be with someone who thinks that showing emotions is a weakness. This man should run for his life.

Jesus. NTA..Cry, laugh, breakdown, whatever You need to do. The idea that you are less of a person, that you're weak, just because you cried is insensitive and insane. Get rid of her, the whole wife.

What I don’t understand is that she has no feelings for those poor people who were tortured and died. Just because it was long ago doesn’t make it easier to deal with. I think people like her would not be adverse to that kind of thing to happen all over again.

My husband sobbed when we were still dating......I love my big sensitive teddy bear. Whatever happens to me or us, he's mature enough as a man to feel his feelings authentically. He doesn't have to lie to himself or me because of what other men think. He can bare his soul to me without judgment, because he didn't marry those other men. He married ME. 🥺💗

I've been a musician for 50 years and can tell you that many times I've sat with tough manly band mates who have cried over their children, relationships, losses, and jobs. Men are no different emotionally than woman and I'm honored when they feel safe with me as a friend to be open about it. Every male musician I keep in touch with will spend hours on the phone gossiping, as well. Gender expectations are absolutely BS.

Woman here, my ex would cry when he was caught doing things that should not be acceptable.. wonder if she had similar in the past & the reason it set her off. If not, her reaction was BS & should be under scrutiny.

Sounds like OP's wife has fallen for the whole alpha male schtick. She deserves to be with someone as toxic as she is, she might learn to appreciate the one she drove away.

As a woman I believe men should be encouraged to cry. Maybe then we wouldn’t have as much anger in the world. Wouldn’t solve everything but anyone should be allowed to cry. Ops wife is a cold, infantile woman

She sounds like a sociopath. I am sorry that you had to through this. It seems she will never accept you for who you are ,which is normal person in touch with their feelings . And if you cannot count on your wife's support,who's supposed to be there for you and your partner and half in everything,who can you count on? I don't think therapy will sort this as it seems this is who she is inside.

It makes me sick that this is still such a huge problem! Humans should be allowed to show and share their emotions/feelings. I have two sons and a daughter and I try to let them all know it's ok, but I'm so afraid they'll end up with partners like this and it makes me sick

As a woman, I find it disgusting that you wouldn't comfort someone you love when they're hurting. Regardless of gender. He needs to divorce her.

Crying is a healthy thing to do from time to time and a good way to release pent up emotions, his wife just sucks and I can't imagine someone like that being even a half decent life partner. The comments here elaborate as to why quite well. That being said, wtf are all these weird "Women don't want...." as$holes? OP is hurting and the best things they have for him is c**p like that which only reinforces his wife's s****y view on masculinity? Quality women and quality men want partners who are good communicators that are able to express their feelings. This stereotyping a whole gender (regardless of gender) is getting so cringe and given that its part of the problem OP is having, I can't imagine why someone would reply with it.

Your wife is obviously deeply stunted emotionally.. Her ideas are just ridiculous sexism and really really stupid. It would make me sad to be married to someone this stupid.

Enough with the freaking censoring, BP. You censor "ki11ing" but not bashing children's heads into trees until they died? This is ridiculous.

Men are allowed to cry, OP felt tge horror of the murder of those children and that was 100% the correct response to that. His wife obviously has issues about men displaying healthy emotions which speaks to her childhood. This toxic masculinity of putting on a brave face is bad and plain wrong - bottling up emotions by not showing emotions is going to blow at some stage and anger and violence is the most common result. His wife needs to sort out her issues and he probably needs a break from her so he can reevaluate what sort of relationship he wants. Hopefully they can work it out because walking away from an otherwise good relationship is extreme

"Children who had nothing to do with you." I think thats the most telling of her non existent empathy. As lomg as it's not a child she knows or cares about then it doesnt matter.