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Man Resents Wife For Not Doing The “Husband Stitch” And Makes Fun Of Her Body In Front Of Family
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Man Resents Wife For Not Doing The “Husband Stitch” And Makes Fun Of Her Body In Front Of Family

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Your partner’s support after you give birth is absolutely essential. Your body is going through some major changes during the postpartum period, and it helps to know that you’re not alone and that you’re loved and respected no matter what.

On the other hand, if your significant other keeps making hurtful jokes and comments about how you look, it can make anyone wonder what exactly is going on and whether you know them at all. An anonymous woman, who recently gave birth, opened up to the r/AITAH community about how her husband started making toxic comments about her body, forcing her to move out with their son. Read on for the full story.

Highlights
  • Medical professionals say the 'husband stitch' has no benefit and can cause painful sex.
  • The husband's offensive joke about the wife's body at dinner was the last straw for her.
  • Many internet users supported the woman, calling her husband's behavior abusive.

It can be utterly devastating to realize that the person you married isn’t who you thought they were

Image credits: damirkhabirov / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

A postpartum mom sought some advice on the internet after her husband started insulting her in private and in public

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Image credits: drazenphoto / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Intelligent_Fox_5588

The procedure that the husband wanted his wife to get is outdated and has no benefit

Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo)

The last straw, as the author revealed, was her husband making an offensive joke about her postpartum body while they were having dinner with his family.

She tried explaining why this was so hurtful to her. However, instead of admitting that he was in the wrong, the husband tried to guilt trip her about not having gotten the so-called “husband stitch” after giving birth.

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What the man and the author are referring to, as explained by Medical News Today, is “an extra stitch that some women say they have received during the repair of an episiotomy or vaginal tear. This procedure takes place after delivery to decrease the size of a woman’s vaginal opening.”

The procedure is outdated (it originally traces back to the mid-1950s) and has “no approved medical use or benefit. Healthcare providers should never perform this procedure without the woman’s consent.”

According to MNT, there are no advantages to getting an extra stitch. “The vagina is a muscle that expands during birth but should eventually return to its predelivery state.”

Meanwhile, “Stitching the vaginal opening tighter will likely cause painful sex for both partners.”

So, what the story author’s husband was guilt-tripping her about is a procedure that is not only outdated but has no real benefit, and may actually be detrimental to both of them.

Medical professionals can do a lot to help new moms during the postpartum period

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Image credits: Jonathan Borba / pexels (not the actual photo)

The postpartum period starts immediately after giving birth. Typically, it lasts between 6 to 8 weeks. It officially ends when the mother’s body has nearly returned to its pre-pregnant state.

According to researchers at the University of Kansas, some of the most common postpartum concerns include the so-called postpartum blues, aka baby blues. This is transient depression that is very common during the first week after delivery.

“Women may notice feeling down, anxious, mood swings, crying spells, irritability, and difficulty sleeping. Postpartum blues typically resolve within 2 weeks,” the researchers state.

Other common postpartum issues include intimate partner violence, incontinence, as well as hemorrhoids. This is why it’s so important that doctors, nurses, and healthcare providers put in the effort to support moms after their babies are delivered, not just during the delivery.

After the woman’s story went viral on Reddit and elsewhere on the internet, it ended up getting removed.

Meanwhile, the author’s account got suspended, so we were unable to reach out to her for an update about what happened next.

What would you have done if you were in the mom’s position? What advice would you give her? What did you do to support your partner after delivery? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Many readers were appalled by the man’s behavior. They came out in support of the mom

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Some internet users had some controversial opinions to share

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

Read less »

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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Insomniac
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister had horrific tearing during her first birth, over 100 internal stitches, a few infections, and pretty much every problem you can think of., She couldn't have intercourse for a full year. Her husband didn't complain once. All he cared about was her healing and doing his share of taking care of the baby. He is so annoying to me at times, but I could not have asked for a better husband for my sister or a more devoted, involved father to his children. This woman needs to run. "It's just a joke" is what abusers and bullies do to justify their actions. And then we get worn down, gaslighted that we're overreacting, and end up with trauma. Just get out, OP. Go far away.

Temple
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God bless that man. A friend got a horrible infection after getting an episiotomy and her husband demanded sex. She gave in because he threatened to cheat on her. As she explained, the physical pain of the sex was better than the emotional pain of her husband cheating. I got home and cried. She smelled horrible for months because of this infection at the new stich site, her husband still cheated, and her mother encouraged her to stay with him. That was four years ago, and they are still together.

Load More Replies...
Jaya
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he's so adamant that there be a surgery procedure to make their genitals fit in each other more tightly, he should just get penis enlargement surgery.

Pollywog
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would've asked him about penis enlargement surgery so we could BOTH enjoy sex for a change!!

Ge Po
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had two children and my body never got back to what it was. Yet, we enjoy each other more than before I was ever pregnant. Why? Because experience really does the trick. To know what he likes and what she likes. To know that you can make your partner experience bliss while you do the same, is the real icing on the cake.

Lyoness
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Real men don't expect women to alter their bodies for their own gratification. Wait, replace "real men" with "real people". No sane, decent person would do this.

cherry~
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For anyone interested on learning more about the husband stitch: https://www.healthline.com/health-news/husband-stitch-is-not-just-myth#Episiotomies-decreasing-in-recent-decades

Gen X Feral
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh fuuck him and his extra belly button 😒 How do all these girls keep marrying these congealed piles of monkey shiit in the shape of a man???

brittany
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

some are very very good at hiding. it. my kids dad acted so happy when kids came along. it was only after i got pregnant with our third that he admitted he never actually wanted kids and doesn't even like kids. he only had them because i had said i wanted kids one day and he didnt want to try and find someone else to date. after he said that he told me he would prefer i abort. my girl is turning 4 this year, he can go rot wherever he is.

Load More Replies...
Anna V
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Em there is a thing called husband's stitch? After a woman gives birth to a baby I don't think there should be any kind of husband's medical procedure!

Stannous Flouride
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't downvote her. She misunderstood and asked a legitimate question. Remember, English is not the first language of many of our fellow Pandas.

Load More Replies...
Lena Flising
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. A stupid ”husband stitch” will not make you feel good again. It will hurt you and it will make s*x nigh on impossible. Your body needs to heal from the great ordeal of making a baby and giving birth to the baby. It will take the time it needs. The husband is taking out his frustration on you, and projecting as well. What a horrible family, to laugh at you over insensitive ”jokes”. The baby needs to be with you, and the husband needs to help you, and make the home nice for you. If he fails that, he has only himself to blame if you leave.

Tostones
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG. I am almost old and decently educated and I did not know about this. And yet, not shocked.

Stephanie
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"drop your pants so I can measure how many you'll need" 😂😂 perfect. stay gone, girl. keep that baby away from him so he can't raise another idiot man

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact he said that to her at all.. even if it was a joke made me want to throw up. But that he combined it with the gaslighting... that thing isnt a human being and deserves no rights or considerations one would get.

DrBronxx
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just cannot understand this guy. Ridiculously insensitive and unaware new fathers like this are completely infuriating. I cannot imagine saying anything like that to my wife after she had given birth. He should be stepping up, not insulting her.

Nikole
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t think this has anything to do with him being a new father. He’s just a selfish jackass.

Load More Replies...
Margaret Shannon
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope he gets sick and dies slowly and painfully. Alone. And the same for anyone who agrees with him in the smallest amount.

Hey!
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But the problem was not about the husband's stitch per se, it was about him laughing (and his family too) at her body after giving birth. The fact that he thinks the extra stitch would have helped just made it an idiot. What did he say about her body that was so funny?

DC and S
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're right. The comment about the husband stitch and only caring was the icing on the cake. The "joke" was the cake. I can't think of any comment about a woman's body recovering after birth as funny, or an actual joke versus a complaint veiled as a joke. And it could have been a different story had he acknowledged it and changed his behaviour. No story there. But no... He had to double down and go all in with blame and shame, and insinuating she was a terrible wife for not getting a farce of a medical procedure for HIS sexual gratification. So I can see how people kind of glommed on to that giant pile of flaming red flags. And, it seems some people are just hearing about this for the first time, so, education win?

Load More Replies...
Insomniac
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister had horrific tearing during her first birth, over 100 internal stitches, a few infections, and pretty much every problem you can think of., She couldn't have intercourse for a full year. Her husband didn't complain once. All he cared about was her healing and doing his share of taking care of the baby. He is so annoying to me at times, but I could not have asked for a better husband for my sister or a more devoted, involved father to his children. This woman needs to run. "It's just a joke" is what abusers and bullies do to justify their actions. And then we get worn down, gaslighted that we're overreacting, and end up with trauma. Just get out, OP. Go far away.

Temple
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God bless that man. A friend got a horrible infection after getting an episiotomy and her husband demanded sex. She gave in because he threatened to cheat on her. As she explained, the physical pain of the sex was better than the emotional pain of her husband cheating. I got home and cried. She smelled horrible for months because of this infection at the new stich site, her husband still cheated, and her mother encouraged her to stay with him. That was four years ago, and they are still together.

Load More Replies...
Jaya
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he's so adamant that there be a surgery procedure to make their genitals fit in each other more tightly, he should just get penis enlargement surgery.

Pollywog
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would've asked him about penis enlargement surgery so we could BOTH enjoy sex for a change!!

Ge Po
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had two children and my body never got back to what it was. Yet, we enjoy each other more than before I was ever pregnant. Why? Because experience really does the trick. To know what he likes and what she likes. To know that you can make your partner experience bliss while you do the same, is the real icing on the cake.

Lyoness
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Real men don't expect women to alter their bodies for their own gratification. Wait, replace "real men" with "real people". No sane, decent person would do this.

cherry~
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For anyone interested on learning more about the husband stitch: https://www.healthline.com/health-news/husband-stitch-is-not-just-myth#Episiotomies-decreasing-in-recent-decades

Gen X Feral
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh fuuck him and his extra belly button 😒 How do all these girls keep marrying these congealed piles of monkey shiit in the shape of a man???

brittany
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

some are very very good at hiding. it. my kids dad acted so happy when kids came along. it was only after i got pregnant with our third that he admitted he never actually wanted kids and doesn't even like kids. he only had them because i had said i wanted kids one day and he didnt want to try and find someone else to date. after he said that he told me he would prefer i abort. my girl is turning 4 this year, he can go rot wherever he is.

Load More Replies...
Anna V
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Em there is a thing called husband's stitch? After a woman gives birth to a baby I don't think there should be any kind of husband's medical procedure!

Stannous Flouride
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't downvote her. She misunderstood and asked a legitimate question. Remember, English is not the first language of many of our fellow Pandas.

Load More Replies...
Lena Flising
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. A stupid ”husband stitch” will not make you feel good again. It will hurt you and it will make s*x nigh on impossible. Your body needs to heal from the great ordeal of making a baby and giving birth to the baby. It will take the time it needs. The husband is taking out his frustration on you, and projecting as well. What a horrible family, to laugh at you over insensitive ”jokes”. The baby needs to be with you, and the husband needs to help you, and make the home nice for you. If he fails that, he has only himself to blame if you leave.

Tostones
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG. I am almost old and decently educated and I did not know about this. And yet, not shocked.

Stephanie
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"drop your pants so I can measure how many you'll need" 😂😂 perfect. stay gone, girl. keep that baby away from him so he can't raise another idiot man

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact he said that to her at all.. even if it was a joke made me want to throw up. But that he combined it with the gaslighting... that thing isnt a human being and deserves no rights or considerations one would get.

DrBronxx
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just cannot understand this guy. Ridiculously insensitive and unaware new fathers like this are completely infuriating. I cannot imagine saying anything like that to my wife after she had given birth. He should be stepping up, not insulting her.

Nikole
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t think this has anything to do with him being a new father. He’s just a selfish jackass.

Load More Replies...
Margaret Shannon
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope he gets sick and dies slowly and painfully. Alone. And the same for anyone who agrees with him in the smallest amount.

Hey!
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But the problem was not about the husband's stitch per se, it was about him laughing (and his family too) at her body after giving birth. The fact that he thinks the extra stitch would have helped just made it an idiot. What did he say about her body that was so funny?

DC and S
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're right. The comment about the husband stitch and only caring was the icing on the cake. The "joke" was the cake. I can't think of any comment about a woman's body recovering after birth as funny, or an actual joke versus a complaint veiled as a joke. And it could have been a different story had he acknowledged it and changed his behaviour. No story there. But no... He had to double down and go all in with blame and shame, and insinuating she was a terrible wife for not getting a farce of a medical procedure for HIS sexual gratification. So I can see how people kind of glommed on to that giant pile of flaming red flags. And, it seems some people are just hearing about this for the first time, so, education win?

Load More Replies...
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