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“What Is The Most Surprising Thing You Learned When You Started Living With A Man?”: 30 Women Share What Shocked Them
When I first moved in with my partner, he had never owned (or even considered purchasing) a hand towel, an oven mitt, trivets, a spatula, kitchen scissors, more than 2 pieces of silverware, a laundry basket, a chef’s knife that’s actually sharp, or a cutting board big enough to cut anything larger than a lemon. Technically, yes you can survive just fine without any of those things. But my woman brain could not wrap my mind around why you wouldn’t have them when you easily could.
Moving in with someone for the first time teaches you many things about them: their eating habits, their sleeping habits, their cleaning routines (or lack thereof), what they consider to be loud, etc. But if that person is also of the opposite sex, you might be fascinated enough to do a case study in how the other half lives.
Below, we’ve gathered some of the most illuminating (and some slightly disturbing) things women learned from living with men for the first time that they've revealed on Reddit, and I have to say, men never cease to amaze me. From their quirks in the bathroom to the adorably charming ways they surprise their partners, this list is certainly a roller coaster. Be sure to upvote all of the responses that shock you, or that you also only knew from living with a man, and let us know in the comments if you have anything else to add to this list. Then, if you’re interested in hearing from the opposite side after finishing this piece, you can find a Bored Panda article highlighting what men learned from living with women right here!
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#1
Well the first surprise was moving in with my Dad and I was shocked that he never cleaned or cooked. Had a maid for cleaning and ate out for every single one of his meals. And my goodness, men are good at painting the wall with their p**s.
The second surprise was moving in with my SO. Shocked to learn he is incredibly clean, able and willing to cook, and never gets p**s on the wall.
So I guess the thing I learned that would have been surprising to me as a teen is that all men are just as variable as women are. I blame my delay in realizing this on being raised in an all female home and not really having any male role models.
#2
We've been living together for over a year now, and I think my girlfriend is still shocked at how often I have an erection.
"We just had sex! Why are you hard again??"
"You were bending over..."
#3
I learned that sometimes when a man is very very hungover he will take a sad sitting down shower. Discovered my fiancé sitting on the shower floor like a drowned snuffleupagus
#4
Besides my boyfriend, I've lived with plenty of men and what I've learned is that they're all different. Some are slobs, some are fastidious and clean, some are fussy and some have odd habits. It's almost like they're individual people with their own personalities. It's truly bizarre.
My BF is way fussier than I am though, I've noticed. I think I'm kind of a slob though, so it makes sense.
Robert Trebor 1 year ago
"It's almost like they're individual people with their own personalities". Yay, you noticed!
#5
Men don't like to just talk, they like to fix problems.
Men don't pay attention to details, they like to condense to essence. This is why a "how did your day go?" convo lasts twelve seconds.
A lot of men would prefer their women bottomless in a man's shirt than in some fancy lingerie that takes ten minutes to figure out how to dismantle.
Men do not need a lot of space for stuff, but the space they have is sacred and should not be encroached upon. Leave him his closet and his garage workshelf, and he'll be happy. If he insists on a mancave, best to let him have one and do not mock it.
Men are literally mystified by why it would take more than four minutes to get ready to go out. They are even more mystified why women would bother to go through that ritual if you're not going to see anyone you know when you go out.
For many, many, many men, words of praise, acknowledging accomplishment and stature, are the most generous acts of love you can provide.
Men literally become uncomfortable in their bodies without a sexual release after a couple days. It's not like they just don't think about it if it doesn't happen. If it doesn't happen, then that's all they can think about.
Premislaus de Colo 1 year ago
This one is actually a good example of what guys are like in general. Some other posts seem like concerning a particular person only
#6
How often men seem like they have something wrong, but they don't. For the first couple of months that we were living together I was convinced that he already hated living with me because there were so many times that he would zone out and not speak and give short answers.
Turns out that he would just have something on his mind completely unrelated to our relationship.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
this is the most important thing to understand. If we want to complain we will do so. If we are quiet it means all is well.
#7
They have different "rules" about things. A shirt is not dirty unless it's smelly, wet, or has fresh stains on it. They'll wear it again before choosing to wash it. Making the bed every morning is not required, it's a waste of time. "But what if we have company?" "Why would they go look at our bed? If they did, what's wrong with it being unmade? They might *gasp!* know that we sleep there?" It's a lot of practicality and efficiency vs making things look nice and "wasting" time.
#8
They don't need 3 meals a day. They just need a giant meal once or twice.
Natalie Bohrteller 1 year ago
Or they just eat all day and you wonder why they're not getting overweight. Life is unfair.
#9
This might be just specific to my boyfriend, but I was surprised at how much he was willing to compromise. He stopped leaving the toilet seat up, he hates vacuuming but he'll mop, and if I cook he cleans. I was honestly expecting cohabitating to be a real struggle, but it has strengthened our relationship tenfold.
#10
Pooping time is sacred and a great time to catch up on the news and browse some reddit.
Can be slightly inconvenient when I need the bathroom and he's been in there for 1/2 an hour though.
#11
Despite his balding hair, he insists on buying voluminizing shampoo.
Babe, that's not going to fix it.
#12
Most men don't have a garbage can in their bathroom.
Hey guys, if you want to impress your lady friends, put a god damn garbage can in the bathroom! We have stuff we need to put in there sometimes!
Natalie Bohrteller 1 year ago
Totally true! And once there is one, he will use it most and never change the bag lol
#13
He can wiggle his penis.
You know how some people can wiggle their ears, or just the tip of their nose? If we're laying around in bed, he sometimes 'waves' at me.
I didn't know it could move that much on its own.
#14
That when men have a cold, the world is ending. They can have a stuffy nose and sore throat and I would think they had cancer. One day I will go through the very intense and painful process of childbirth, and then maybe I will understand how a man feels when they're sick for a day.
Edit: I get it. All of you guys are superman and never complain about being sick unless you're super, dying sick.
Deborah Harris2 1 year ago
My Ex husband said that women are built for pain and if someone can bleed like a sacrificial goat for 5 days solid once a month and still live then let him die with his man flu in peace :D
#15
If all of your socks are the same color and the same style, you don't have to mate them. You can just stick them in a drawer and pull out two random socks without even looking at what you're grabbing.
Llewella 1 year ago
This made my life sooooo much easier, living with 3 men that have the same size shoes. We now have a big basket full of identical socks!
IamMe 1 year ago
I do this, too. My sons all wear around the same size shoes, there's really no way to sort out who's socks are who's, so they all go in the sock bag.
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boredkoala 1 year ago
Same...I just make sure they're about the same thickness and height and I'm good to go!
Load More Replies... DeoManus Argentem 1 year ago
I'm a male (39) and from high-school through just a few years ago would buy individual pairs of nice socks... Now it's just multiple 20-packs of solid cotton blacks for sport/casual, and as many identical pair of solid black Egyptian cotton for business/formal! Two separate drawers, and no worries if one gets damaged/stained/lost! It's way more satisfying than you'd imagine!
Evelyn Haskins 1 year ago
I finally disciovered that my DH piut his socks into his cupboard WITHOUT pairing thm, So i had a great collection of his clean unpaired socks in the laundry and he had a cupboard full. No now he gets them all w***y-nilly and must pair them for himself.!
Amy-Lee Kempi 1 year ago
Mine does this! They are all black, but not the same… so when I pair them I watch to match the seams. But I don’t know why I still bother…
Seanette Blaylock 1 year ago
My husband convinced me to go that route (I do have two different colors, but they're in different parts of the drawer). He hates unfolding them, I hate folding them.
El Dee 1 year ago
Is it just me? I've genuinely never lost a sock in the washing machine (or drier) Where do they go??
Seanette Blaylock 1 year ago
I've heard the tongue-in-cheek theory that there's a sock/anti-sock pairing. When they meet, one sock decays into hanger emission which accumulates in a closet and becomes wire hangers. :)
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AliJanx 1 year ago
Or, buy a "lingerie bag" and put all your socks in the lingerie bag and then the dryer. If your socks are all diff colors, easier to match when you pull them out of the bag.
Seanette Blaylock 1 year ago
I use that for my fabric masks. Makes it easier to get them out of the washer to hang-dry. The ones I use shrink like crazy if they sneak into the dryer.
Load More Replies... #16
That when taking a dump their penis can accidentally touch the rim of the toilet bowl.
I had lived with a couple other dudes before my husband and never knew this was an issue. Then we bought a house and both of the toilets needed to be replaced. He spent a stupid amount of money at Home Depot on these toilets with elongated bowls and I was perplexed and irritated...until he explained why.
#17
My wife learned that I cannot poop and hold a conversation at the same time. If I'm on the porcelain throne, then I demand solitude. I will not answer inanities like whether my blue shirt needs a wash or the kitchen is on fire.
#18
Something I've noticed since moving in with my SO is how much I enjoy having someone to help me out with stuff.
I've always had kind of bad roommates who tend to not do their fair share of the work (to be fair, I'm a neat freak, so my standards are definitely set higher than the average person's). My SO, though, is always willing to help me out with anything I ask.
I also love having a perpetually available adventure buddy. Even if I just want to go to the grocery store, he's always willing to come with me.
#19
Men are always hungry. They can check the fridge many times during evening to check if there is something tasty and ready to be grabbed. Also, if recipe says that it serves 4, it actually means that it serves 4 women or 1 man.
michael piscopo 1 year ago
That's true about the portions: I do the shopping - when it says serves 4 I halve it (uh-oh, better get two) and family size if it's lasagna....
#20
I can roll over, wake my boyfriend out of a deep sleep, wiggles my eyebrows and say " you horny?" We do the sexy times, He is happy, I am happy, he goes back to sleep, I take shower and do whatever.
Edit: we actually talked about it. I got horny one night and didnt wanna wake him up so I just ignored it and went back to sleep. Told him about it the next morning and he said I should have woke him up, he is always ready. Every time I have done this he has never said no. As we are still youngish, both of us around 30ish, I guess as we get older it'll start to diminish.
Edit again: clarified some things. He is the type that usually can fall back to sleep, he really doesn't mind. I wouldn't blue ball him.
Also this is my highest comment.
#21
How fun it would be to be able to make spontaneous plans.
How wonderful to have someone to snuggle with before you fall asleep.
How much more intimate it is to share the details of your day in person than over text.
How hard it would be when he moved out.
#22
My SO and I both have full time jobs. I often work 12:00-22:00 but he works morning to early afternoon. Often when I get home from work I've got the most amazing dinner and a hot bath waiting for me. When we get random days off together we go mountain biking, or swimming, or stargazing. It's so comforting having someone like that there for you. We've been together for three years now :)
michael piscopo 1 year ago
That changes over time. After half a century, sharing some of your insulin supply is romantic....
#23
He wanted to get one of those little rugs that go around the toilet so he could "miss". Evidently he believed those rugs exist to be peed on.
#25
Shaving is a sacred ritual. My husband closes the bathroom door, and takes his time shaving, then he comes out flawless.
#26
My husband will turn on the bedroom a/c to its highest setting and then pile three heavy blankets on top of himself. Then complain that it's too hot. Every. Single. Summer. Night.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago
Aha is your husband one of our hedgehog alien troop in disguise? We all have that trait. Hedgehogs love to snuggle in big heavy blankets.
#27
They gossip just as much as women do.
#28
Am male, what my wife said most surprised her/baffles her is my bladder. When I go to bed, if I need to pee, I will. If I don't, I won't. And then I'll sleep the night with nary a stir. And might not pee for a few hours after I get up.
On the flip side, she pees as part of her going to bed routine, otherwise she'll have to get up in the middle of the night to pee. She doesn't understand how I can go 12+ hours without peeing.
#29
My girlfriend made me realize how much I play with my balls during the day.
#30
So much nakedness.
What do you think ?
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago
Exactly it's really irritating. People are people. Not their gender.
Load More Replies... Blackheart 1 year ago
I grew up with a lots of boys. Here is something I noticed. Say a baseball is hurtling towards him. The first thing he covers up is not his head on his shoulders.
Leo Domitrix 1 year ago
Gee, you move in with someone and it's not what you expected. Shock, horror./s/ Also, BP, can we end the gender-centric posts? It's really 1. boring and 2. just clickbait. I only clicked to say that...
KBT 1 year ago
You know you can make your own articles about whatever you want right?
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Nikki Angulo 1 year ago
The one about using blankets as curtains isn't even in there, but I've done that when I haven't had curtains readily available, and even when I've gotten curtains I've waited a long time before bothering to use them because I'm lazy, lol.
Evelyn Haskins 1 year ago
This is Great Australian Adjective stupid. I lived all my life (before marriage) with a father! So about the only thing I learned about men was that not all of them are as selfish as my father.
Joss 1 year ago
The only one of these that's been consistent with all the guys I've lived with as an adult is socks and I know my dad was always fastidious about laundry and annoyed at the bras mom took off and left hanging random places. *And* half of these I fit the guy description while my partner doesn't. I call bulls hit on the whole thing.
Aisling Raye 1 year ago
I couldn't get through this. People are different. Other than silly stuff like "how much he plays with his balls" (and it's not like there is a universal time allotment on that either) this was mostly just ridiculous amounts of gender stereotyping. BP did a similar post about women a while back. It was just as irritating as this one.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago
Exactly it's really irritating. People are people. Not their gender.
Load More Replies... Blackheart 1 year ago
I grew up with a lots of boys. Here is something I noticed. Say a baseball is hurtling towards him. The first thing he covers up is not his head on his shoulders.
Leo Domitrix 1 year ago
Gee, you move in with someone and it's not what you expected. Shock, horror./s/ Also, BP, can we end the gender-centric posts? It's really 1. boring and 2. just clickbait. I only clicked to say that...
KBT 1 year ago
You know you can make your own articles about whatever you want right?
Load More Replies... Nikki Angulo 1 year ago
The one about using blankets as curtains isn't even in there, but I've done that when I haven't had curtains readily available, and even when I've gotten curtains I've waited a long time before bothering to use them because I'm lazy, lol.
Evelyn Haskins 1 year ago
This is Great Australian Adjective stupid. I lived all my life (before marriage) with a father! So about the only thing I learned about men was that not all of them are as selfish as my father.
Joss 1 year ago
The only one of these that's been consistent with all the guys I've lived with as an adult is socks and I know my dad was always fastidious about laundry and annoyed at the bras mom took off and left hanging random places. *And* half of these I fit the guy description while my partner doesn't. I call bulls hit on the whole thing.
Aisling Raye 1 year ago
I couldn't get through this. People are different. Other than silly stuff like "how much he plays with his balls" (and it's not like there is a universal time allotment on that either) this was mostly just ridiculous amounts of gender stereotyping. BP did a similar post about women a while back. It was just as irritating as this one.
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