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30 Men Are Sharing Their Honest Opinions That Are The Opposite Of What Most Men Think
Interview With Author
A lot of us feel pressured to conform. It takes a lot of guts to voice your opinion when you know the vast majority of people are likely to criticize you for it. That’s exactly what the men of Reddit have been doing on the r/AskMen subreddit.
Redditor M_RONA asked them to share their opinions that are generally unpopular among men, and they’ve been opening up about their honest thoughts. Candid, some might say even vulnerable, these opinions are bound to resonate with quite a few readers who might think the same but might find it difficult to talk about in public for fear of being ostracized.
You’ll find these ‘unmanly’ and ‘unpopular’ opinions below, so have a read and let us know what you thought of them in the comments, Pandas. Upvote the opinions that you agree with and be sure to share your perspective about why men are pressured to conform to a rigid set of ideas, likes, and behaviors.
I reached out to redditor M_RONA, the author of the viral thread, and had a great chat with him about masculinity, the inspiration behind the question, as well as the pressure that many people in society feel to conform to certain standards.
"I think, as men, we need to be more open about our issues and acknowledge the fact that we face some tough [stuff], often imposed on us by other guys," he told Bored Panda. "There’s nothing wrong with being honest about what’s bothering us, and I think just being able to talk about some of the issues we face would be a major contributing factor to our general well-being. Something as simple as just asking our friends how they’re doing in life could go a long way!" Scroll down for the in-depth interview, dear Pandas, this isn't something you'd want to miss.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
If a guy is bashing some woman behind her back saying all sorts of awful things but to her face is being all nice and flirty with the sole goal of f**king her then dropping her, you're getting no "bro code" from me. I will absolutely out you.
I have no problem with hook ups at all, but if you're going to act like a scumbag, I'm going to treat you like one. I don't care if that's labeled as white knighting or whatever the f**k. It's not even about gender, if somebody is being super phony trying to take advantage of somebody else, you have zero respect from me and I will burn you to the ground in whatever way available to me.
Luke Bouley 4 years ago
As a guy, I also say thank you. Gender has nothing to do with it. I would want to know if someone was faking sincerity to me to get something from me.
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Night Owl 4 years ago
I agree. He's a proper human being and a good person and everyone should do the same no matter of their gender and of the gender of the people involved
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Juan Hernandez 4 years ago
That sounds like a former friend of mine he got with a girl to just f**ck her but was super disrespectful and rude to her and he was toxic to the point he was trying to make her kill her self . I helped her get away from him. Now she’s my gf :D and I wuv her so much 🥰
Chris Freeman 4 years ago
I would say most men are like this. Sure, there are scummy dudes, but other dudes do not like them. If you are a pig and announcing to us how you are just trying to get in her pants and them dump her, we will sabotage you at every opportunity. If you are talking to his friend, if his friend is not saying how much his buddy is into a girl, likes her, enjoys being with her, his friend is hinting the dude is not good for your friend. Inside guy info.
Johnny Ward 4 years ago
I could not agree with this more. Some of us are seeking real relationships with women who are just degraded by these dogs. Get the hell out of our way and let real love rise!
GoddessOdd 4 years ago
How refreshing to hear this. Your parents did a wonderful job raising you.
Redditor M_RONA said that he's personally not a big fan of the term 'toxic masculinity' because he feels like it misrepresents reality and sometimes gets used where it isn't applicable. That's not to say it doesn't exist, however, it does mean that the term's sometimes misused. "While I absolutely agree that there are many male traits taken to the extreme that have horrible consequences for the people around them, I think the term is sadly being overused to mislabel normal and perfectly healthy male behavior," he told Bored Panda.
However, he pointed out that he believes that a lot of the harm and pressures put on men are "often put forth by other men." In short, men pressure other men to conform in terms of behaviors, attitudes, character, and activities. This can make any sort of emotional vulnerability extremely difficult. "I saw a ton of examples of that in the comments on my post, where a lot of guys were talking about how, as a man, they found it extremely difficult to talk and be open about their feelings. I think that stems from this notion that men are supposed to be so hardened and stoic that we never let things get to us, and if we ever experience a negative emotion, we shouldn’t process it, we should just bottle it up and 'be a man.'"
RELATED:
#2
It’s ok to call other guys good looking. Not tell them directly, but just be able to tell your friends “hey you know what, that guy over there is handsome”. Doesn’t make me gay, or make me weird in any way. I feel comfortable enough with myself that I can acknowledge there are some damn good looking guys out there, so good for them.
Natalie Bohrteller 4 years ago (edited)
It's even good to tell them directly. I like when my fellow females give me compliments, to me it seems very pure and honest.
Papa Bonez 4 years ago
I have a buddy of mine. I can admit he is a gorgeous man. Has a heart of gold
DennyS (denzoren) 4 years ago
As a guy you should be able to be like, "wth, how is he so good looking?" without worrying. When I was younger I didn't because of how people would react but now I really don't care. Lol
GoddessOdd 4 years ago
It's getting better, at least among younger guys, I think. I am part of a group of people aged 20-65, mostly males. One of our number is just ridiculously good looking. Stop traffic kind of good looking. We all, men and women, acknowledge that he's good looking, much to his embarrassment.
Rick Hoppenbrouwer 4 years ago
If a man is comfortable with his own sexuality it's really not a problem.
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
F**k yeah dude, I'm comfortable with who I am that I can say when a guy is obviously a hot dude, I used to have a platonic man crush on Serj from SOAD.
#3
Sports are overrated. At least watching them is
Calyfan Yelood 4 years ago
my least favourite thing is radio sports. Listening to people watching people playing sport is too far removed
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Mike Crow 4 years ago
It’s almost a cult in some cases. To the point where they will physically attack someone who is wearing the wrong teams clothing.
V 2000 4 years ago
that happens in my country, they are bassicaly gangs that use the colors of a team
Load More Replies... James Hardaway 4 years ago
I was recently talking with a computer science professor who was lamenting about how his college dumps millions of dollars into it's sports programs while meanwhile his students are still using 10 year old computers. I don't think there's anything wrong with sports as entertainment (unless it's proven to cause brain damage such as football) but I do think there's something wrong with prioritizing sports over education.
John Dilligaf 4 years ago
it's all about the money; the college may dump millions of dollars into it's sports programs but those sports programs usually bring even more millions INTO the college. University of Oregon, for example, paid out 120.8 million for its athletic programs, but took in 391.7 million.
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Bobert Robertson 4 years ago
To each their own. Without sports to watch I'd go crazy. But I don't think you're crazy for not wanting to watch too
Lovin' Life 4 years ago
While I enjoy watch some sports, some people will suck the life out of you because you dont pull for the same team they do or you agree or disagree with the referees on a call they make. Some just get violent and its ridiculous. My daughter and her team had to be escorted to their parents cars during a middle school basketball game because of threats being made from the opposite team. REALLY! It is a game. They aren't pros. They are 13 year olds having fun!!!!
Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
You picked an appropriate sport to illustrate there! In the UK, it's rare to play this after primary school unless it's just for a quick laugh.
M_RONA pointed out that having a "hardened mind and a stoic attitude are certainly virtuous values" (and I fully agree), however, taken to the extreme, the notion of 'be a man' can be classified as toxic masculinity if it's all done at the cost of expressing one's feelings.
"I think the top comment on the post right now is about men doing yoga, which has almost exclusively positive effects on both the body and mind, but a lot of guys were finding it hard to begin with because it’s 'something that only women do,' and were expressing discontent at the fact that a lot of their male peers would look down on them if they started doing yoga. I’m not sure if not doing yoga is directly correlated to depression, but the basic attitude of 'men should do this, and women should do that' is hampering to both men and women, I think, something both sexes are guilty of doing, unfortunately," M_RONA mused.
#4
Crying and being emotional is not only normal, but can be a needed cathartic release as well.
There's nothing wrong with wearing your emotions on your sleeve.
fire bug 4 years ago
I am a guy who grew up with four sisters. When we watched a sad part in any movie, it was always my dad and I bawling. I have three daughters now and my wife and girls watch for the tears to flow when something sad happens on a show. I'm a big guy but I cry like a baby when happy or sad.
Melene Majlovic 4 years ago
No you don't cry like a baby, you cry like a MAN! Good for you!
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InfectedVoice 4 years ago
I am a cryer, I cry much more often than my wife, I'm 6'3 and tattooed heavily with a big beard and yesterday I cried at a clip of Gordon Ramsay congratulating a blind contestant on her amazing pie, and don't get me started with anything to do with animals, I grew up in an big Italian family that showed their emotions, and most of us are balanced humans generally.
Sam Yobado 4 years ago (edited)
Men or boys crying was never tolerated where I grew up. I would never perpetuate this stupid notion, but I don't always have helpful reactions to men/boys crying. I need to work on this.
Viviane 4 years ago
How do you handle it? I have several ways to handle people crying: offering hugs; saying, "Ah, that sucks"; or "That's hard"; if they're worried about what other people think of them crying, I assure them "It's okay" or I might take them to another room or outside so that they can have more privacy.
Load More Replies... Mike Crow 4 years ago
My ex girlfriend told me she loved a man who could cry and later got mad at me for crying.
Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
I never hide my emotions. Lots of things make me cry with happiness and I don't care who sees it. I went to see Patti Smith recently and when she played Horses, I broke down in tears and told some strangers afterwards because it was so emotional.
Johnny Ward 4 years ago
Guys, our hearts get touched too. Took me some time to learn this, but now I’m proud to show that I’m human.
#5
Women are abused and poorly treated across the board at a rate that is nothing short of disgraceful
Scagsy 4 years ago
I read recently that there is a correlation between women being abused and the national football team losing. Just let that sink in. A football team lost and so some to$$er thinks it's ok to knock his partner around because of it. As a man that makes me angry and ashamed to be a male.
Penny Fan 4 years ago
Yep, but somehow women are the "over-emotional" sex...
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I I 4 years ago
women are still not treated as equal even after over a 100 years of fighting for rights , always said the world would be better if women ran it
Tamra Stiffler 4 years ago
At least in the US, the current statistic is: 1 in 3 women will experience domestic abuse. One. In. Three.
Brendan 4 years ago
It is awful the way some women are treated. But it is important to consider the men. We make up 40% of domestic violence victims. Yet, a huge majority of shelters accept only women.
Randy Klefbeck 4 years ago
Patriarchal societies are brutal and repressive to women, and the United States is still that.
Tobias Rieper 4 years ago
its terrible to that this happens and it sometimes makes me ashamed of being a man but then i remember any man that puts hands on a woman when its not self defence is not really a man
#6
That both men and women can strictly just be platonic friends with one another without ulterior motives.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
In America, this is a very popular opinion that men and women can't be friends. Quite a shock for me when I went to live there and found that all my "normal" interactions with men were considered flirting or trying to steal someone's man. Living in Europe and Africa, I made lots of male platonic friends that I still have, and we stayed buddies.
Caro Caro 4 years ago
I agree. I get the impression that this is an american thing. My best friend is a bloke, happily married and his wife became a good friend too which makes it easier of course as she's very nice and relaxed.
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Valisbourne Spiritforge 4 years ago
You would not believe the number of men (and more than a few women) that I have met who completely believe men & women only interact with one another for relationships or sex.
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Lovin' Life 4 years ago
I agree completely! I have many Male friends. It doesn't mean I want to be sexually involved with them.
bonnyatlast 4 years ago
I always thought that notion was insulting toward men and tried to give power to making unwanted advances because it was "in their nature" to do so. WTH kind of thinking is that? As a women I am not concerned at all with your sexual orientation. It isn't something I consider in people I befriend. Like mindedness yes. That doesn't mean I want to jump the bones of any guy I'm near. Hardly. Does that statement mean men and women are incapable of separating intellect from desire? What narrow thinking...
I was very interested to find out the inspiration behind the question because it seemed to resonate with quite a lot of redditors. M_RONA was kind enough to share the spark and the motivation behind the thread.
"Honestly, I was taking the metro on the way home from university, and I just randomly started thinking about what kind of beverages I like. When I’m out drinking I usually drink a lot of beer, which I guess is considered more manly than other alcoholic drinks, but for example, I also love me a mean passionfruit daiquiri, which I think a lot of guys would maybe frown upon," he said that this is when he started thinking about societal rules, standards, and expectations.
"I started having a mental conversation with myself about why we set these 'rules' for what we should and shouldn’t drink as men, and I’ve always personally believed that if you think something tastes good, go for it! And from there I thought about all the other rules we set for each other as guys, and what other opinions I have that would maybe be considered unpopular amongst my peers. So that’s basically where the inspiration came from."
#7
Strip clubs are depressing and lame
Scagsy 4 years ago
Went in once with a group of friends and the girls were all there dancing and gyrating for money. I actually felt sad and hated every minute of it. Even when one of the guys paid for me (he thought I couldn't afford) to have a private dance it was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. You have zero connection with this person dancing and yet, there she is, thrusting her bottom in your face. I'm not into 'erotic' dancing, I'm more a personality kind of guy, I guess.
A B C 4 years ago
I do like erotic dancing, but only if I have a deep personal connection with that person - as in, my partner or "at least" friend with benefits (I'm quite glad I'm living in a rather sexually tolerant and liberal bubble, so things sometimes happen with good friends). Strip clubs and brothels/prostitution on the other hand feel like "meat markets" to me =/
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Chris Freeman 4 years ago
Have to agree as well. Short of Dr. visit maybe my least favorite place to ever go. I feel embarrassed for everyone who has to work there, and absolutely not a turn on. Never have understood them. Maybe when we were a more repressed society, but with sexuality everywhere I believe they are as outdated as Playboy magazines.
Lee Macro 4 years ago
Been to a "gentlemans club" once. One of the most boring nights of my life
Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
Same here. The dancers looked as bored as hell, which wasn't exactly a turn on.
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Pungent Sauce 4 years ago
I felt awkward enough the one time I took my dad to a Hooters, no thank you.
Karl Baxter 4 years ago
Just awful. Went on someone else’s works do and there were strippers. Just a strange experience sitting at a table in a darkened room with 100 corpulent middle aged blokes who clearly hadn’t told their wives about the nature of the evening’s entertainment staring glassy eyed at some woman going through the motions. I decided to cut my losses and go elsewhere once the racist comedian came on in the interval.
Brendan 4 years ago
I don't enjoy strip clubs, but the way I see it is the men are the suckers. They foolishly believe the women are into them, and then empty their bank accounts for private dances.
Load More Replies... #8
Working 80hrs a week doesn't make you any more of a man than working 40 hrs a week. We are all out to get bread, stop dehumanizing other men for not working their life away. It’s okay to have weekends off and enjoy life.
fire bug 4 years ago
I totally agree. I am closer to 80 hours than 40 though but I like my job and am always able to take off when I want to. I have three kids so sometime I like to take a random day or half day just for fun. The hours work for me but doesn't mean I am more of a "man" than anyone else. If you are doing something you love and can support what you need to on 20 hours, congrats.
Chris Freeman 4 years ago
I believe the last part is key. I still believe a man should be supporting his family if able, and if his family does not have enough money with him working 40 hours a week, he should work more. However, once the family is taken care of, no need to burn yourself out man if you do not enjoy it.
Load More Replies... James Hardaway 4 years ago
Sort of off topic but the stock photo reminded me: I once worked as a laborer in an extremely noisy, dirty, and dangerous manufacturing job. Some of my male co-workers would refuse to wear ear plugs or safety goggles because they perceived it as being "weak." Personally I'd rather be "weak" than be blind and deaf but maybe that's just me?
Joran Quinten 4 years ago
I started working 4 days instead of 5 as soon as I became a parent. Never going back to working more. Kids are in school these days and those extra hours of me time are really nice. As an addition, my wife and I have an even 50/50 split in taking care of our kids, wouldn't miss that for the world
Amanita Virosa 4 years ago
Just makes you tired and someday on your death bed. You won't say... I wished I worked more.
Tapio Magnussen 4 years ago
Whoever claims is better than others for working 80H/week instead of 40, is st00pid.
Celtic Pirate Queen 4 years ago
Working 80 hours a week doesn't make you "a man". It makes you an absent husband & father. Stop, breathe & think. When you die, what do you want your family to remember? The awesome trips you & your wife took together? Playing with your kids in the backyard? Or the fact you missed ALL of their ball games, school plays and every graduation?
#9
Sitting on the toilet to pee is much more convenient, clean and hygienic. Also using a bit of toilet-paper to wipe the tip instead of shaking
Pungent Sauce 4 years ago (edited)
Plus I can sit for minute in privacy and check BP, total win.
Marco Conti 4 years ago
Same here. I am reading this on the potty. I am also old enough it takes me forever to sprinkle. Getting old sucks.
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California Jones 4 years ago
God I wish the men in my house did that. I mean, where do you think your p!ss goes when you shake it everywhere? I'm so f*cking tired of mopping up my father and brother's urine.
A B C 4 years ago
FFS, why do YOU have to clean their piss? Why don't they do that themselves if they think they have to pee while standing? If I were you, I'd refuse to clean the bathroom unless they change their behaviour.
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Papa Bonez 4 years ago
I really thought I was the only person at a relatively young age(42) that did this. I felt like this was a strike against my manhood by doing it. Plus it is a lot easier when you are wearing athletic pants that don't have a zipper.
The redditor believes that the question might have resonated with so many internet users because guys "find themselves in a position of wanting to do things they might feel like they can't do because of these societal norms we set for ourselves." M_RONA shared with Bored Panda that r/AskMen is a very "open and accepting community," so men often have the opportunity of expressing themselves without being judged. (Being anonymous helps, too.)
"Maybe they saw it as a way to vent about bad [stuff] they’ve experienced, and my post was a good route to filter it through, while at the same time getting a lot of support from understanding peers," he said.
The author of the thread believes that social pressure to conform doesn't care about gender or sex. "I think we all face issues of conformity and set expectations for what we’re supposed to do, and I guess it’s up to all of us to promote and cheer on people who don’t fit into certain categories that we make for ourselves," he explained his thoughts. When I asked whether he'd like to add anything else, M_RONA joked, "Buy and hold GME," referring to the mass buying of Gamestop shares that happened earlier this year.
#10
I like fruity "feminine" drinks!!! I am a whisky/scotch man but give me a Mai Tai and I will drink the s**t out of it. I have never understood why men aren't supposed to like drinks that taste good.
Mike Crow 4 years ago
Why is beer considered a mans drink yet it has lower alcohol % than wine.
ZAPanda 4 years ago
YES!! Thank you. I had an idiot once laugh at me about cider. I pointed out that his beer was 4,5% and therefore my cider at 6% was a "man's drink" and his was the "girly drink". That shut him and his toxic masc up.
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Mike Loux 4 years ago
I remember when the book "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche" came out in the 80's. Pretty sure it was meant to be satire, but a lot of people took it as gospel. I love a good quiche, as well as a fruity drink, and my response to that is, "Real Men Eat Whatever the F**k They Want."
Dean Guttadauro 4 years ago
Instead of saying its quiche lorraine, tell them it is bacon and egg pie with cheese. Not too different from the bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits that "Real Men" get at the gas station with their morning coffee.
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Giles McArdell 4 years ago
I never knew s**t was an ingredient of a Mai Tai, seems a bit wasteful to just drink that part and leave the rest.
Thorfin Wolfsbane 4 years ago
why, in order to be "manly", do you have to "drink the s**t out of it"? Why can't you just sip it with your pinky up? Not manly enough!?
Bacony Cakes 4 years ago
You just described the same thing. That IS drinking the sh*t out of it.
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Danny Phantom 3 years ago
I was out with a few female colleagues a while back, and they went for the cocktails. You can bet I joined them and tried all different kinds of cocktails. That stuff is a lot tastier than a beer (although I can enjoy that too).
#11
Buying tampons for your wife/girlfriend/daughter/mistress/one night stand is not a big deal.
I I 4 years ago
i took the empty pack with me if i could , nothing worse than getting a teenager the wrong type
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
To me, a female, this is a sign of security in gender role/sexuality/etc. I buy his razors, he buys my Always, we're good. The end.
otplus 4 years ago
I really do not get why someone is against it, its just a ****ing bag of stuff, they are not making you use them.
Louloubelle 4 years ago
My husband always said, at least people knew he had a girl (this was when we were dating), and not some loser sitting in his mother's basement playing video games.
smugdruggler 4 years ago
I have 4 stepdaughters. Shopping could get really complicated when they were teenagers.
Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
I think the post mentions this but all the "popular" viewpoints are strictly from the point of view of insecure man boys who need every action they make attempt to show excessive toughness and hardassness.
#12
If it's honest work and you're able to keep on top of the bills, there's no shame in your job. You can live a fine comfortable life without ever setting foot in a college.
Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
Yep! I have a degree in psychology and am an experienced teacher, but I'm working part time as a cleaner right now! No people, no hassle, it's nice.
SumoNinja 4 years ago
History/Anthropology working as a software developer. Wouldn't give up the experience for anything tho. I would do it again if I could.
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InfectedVoice 4 years ago
From cleaner and the sever at McDonalds to the guy who collects trollies at the supermarket, you are all important and you do important work.
Don't Look 4 years ago
I recommend boycotting the bigger colleges. They really are just money pits at this point. There are the smaller, accredited schools and trade schools.
Mike Loux 4 years ago
I started a Computer Science degree in the late 80's, but never finished it. At one point I got a job offer for programming web pages, and it was a pretty easy decision - stay in college and continue paying them...or go into the work force and get paid. Hmm, let me think...Fast forward 30 years and I am still a SW developer, and am still having an absolute blast.
albernistuff 4sale 4 years ago
Mike Roe/Dirty Jobs...he very much comments in the our short-sited emphasis on University vs trade school
dave beasley 3 years ago
True. However an education in not just a means to make a living, sometimes it's just a bucket list thing.
Mare Freed 4 years ago
I ruined my life with college debt. I'm now an administrative assistant. I love my job, but I didn't need college for it.
The pressure for men to conform to a certain ‘ruleset’ of attitudes and behaviors has a lot to do with the prevalence of toxic masculinity, as opposed to healthy masculinity. In short, toxic masculinity is an older set of ‘ideals’ that emphasizes a lack of emotional vulnerability and values aggression.
Psychotherapist Silva Neves from the United Kingdom explained to Bored Panda earlier that toxic masculinity is related to “a general attitude perpetuated by systemic misogyny” rather than specific behaviors.
According to psychotherapist Silva, toxic masculinity is “a set of distorted ideas about what men should be like.” At the core of this harmful idea lie the beliefs that men should “always be winners,” shouldn’t feel vulnerable, and shouldn’t be perceived as ‘weak’ or ‘soft.’
#13
I love chubby girls
13 4 years ago
Nice however does not equal attractive. And you need at least a little bit of mutual attraction. (And the first one to think that by attraction I mean purely physical aspects... that really says something about you).
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von Krawall 4 years ago
My husband only likes chubby girls. He is tall, fit and very handsome it's just his taste.
kjorn 4 years ago
because society shame the one who's thin for going out with someone who's not. they always says: you can do better. damn it... like someone who's skinny is more nice than a chubby one.
A B C 4 years ago
Now that sounds like skinny girls wouldn't be able or willing to love in your opinion. I hope it's just either poor wording or misinterpretation.
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Sean-Paul Bobadilla 4 years ago
Me too. Thin girls are nice. Fit sporty girls are awesome. But there's just something special about chubby girls. I love them to bit.
#14
It's not gay to touch or hug your friends
Scagsy 4 years ago
I used to always give my mates a hug and occasionally I have even given them a peck on the cheek if I hadn't seen them in a while. I think that if you are insecure in your sexuality then this may be the cause of this opinion. I'm secure in my heterosexuality so it's easy for me and I don't have to justify it to anyone.
DennyS (denzoren) 4 years ago
This is it...exactly. Once you're comfortable with your sexuality, it is simple.
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Calyfan Yelood 4 years ago
lockdown is ending here and 60 year olds, who otherwise wouldn't have, are hugging each other like crazy cause they missed each other. It's beautiful
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
And even if you are Gay, it is no business for anyone else to make any derogatory comments.
Evelyn Haskins 4 years ago
My friends know to not hug me :-( Keep you perfumes and cosmetics away from me.
Bruno Portela 4 years ago
I still don't understand why being perceived as gay is a bad thing. So what if it's gay? Is being gay a bad thing?
InfectedVoice 4 years ago (edited)
Dude come on...I've been a hugger since day one, when I'm drunk I want to hug everyone, I will kiss my friends on the forehead when saying bye, I love them so that seems normal to me. Anyone who even says that is remotely about being gay is a f****n moron, not that there is anything with being gay of course.
#15
“Not all men just want to hook up, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Even when I was app dating (in a long term relationship now), I was not dating to hook up. I straight up turned down one night stands and various sexual encounters with women I knew I had no interest in seeing again. The concept that I’d turn down a willing and consenting partner and leave a situation where I could have gotten laid was a foreign and “wrong” idea to everyone I discussed it with. The prevailing opinion was: ‘dude just hookup and bail, even if you know you’re not going to see her again you can have some fun first.’ Don’t know why no one else saw it my way. I just am not into sex with someone I’m not invested in and don’t trust yet.
Steph Harrison 4 years ago
The definition of demisexual, and absolutely nothing wrong with it.
F. H. 4 years ago
Why does this need a special term? It's not a sexual preference as this would imply, it's just being sensible.
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Valisbourne Spiritforge 4 years ago
It's me. And I never heard of the term 'demisexual' until just a few years ago. MAN people thought I was weird as a youth.
Brandon Marlowe 4 years ago
Some still do. -JK. Really I agree, Val. Without an emotional connection, sex just seems like masturbation with better toys.
Load More Replies... mcborge1 4 years ago
So i've not been doing anything wrong all these years. That's good to know. :)
Aroace tiger (any pronouns) 4 years ago
You should probably search up demisexual
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Jeff K 4 years ago
Wait, isn't this normal and common? I didn't even know this was outlier behavior and that there's a name for it.
F. H. 4 years ago
It really isn't. Coining new terms with the word -sexual in them is just fashionable. Calling it that would make it a sexual preference, while it is really just putting other important interests above youre sexual perference in some situations.
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sofacushionfort 4 years ago
Society complicates this, not just by telling demisexual men “sure, but sow them wild oats first or there’s something wrong with you,” but also by expecting ALL women to be demisexual.
Celtic Pirate Queen 4 years ago
My husband & I met online. We talked for a few weeks before we met in person. I made it very clear in our discussions that I didn't do casual sex and if that's what he was looking for, he needed to move along. He was looking for a relationship, not a one night stand as well. We've been together 14 years.
“A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite to these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn't afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women,” the mental health expert went into detail what healthy masculinity looks like.
What’s more, followers of healthy masculinity “embrace gender, sex, and relationship diversities, including gay men and transgender people.” In Silva’s opinion, a person who embraces healthy masculinity “is comfortable with their opinions to be challenged and able to have debates.”
Toxic masculinity potentially poses a danger to both men and the people around them, the psychotherapist highlighted. Toxic masculinity is most often expressed either through violence or the threat of violence.
#16
Most guys don't put nearly as much effort into their attractiveness as the women they think they deserve to date.
Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
Never mind, attractiveness means very little in a relationship. It's 90% about the chemistry between two people.
Monday 4 years ago
While that is true for an already existing relationship, attractiveness has a lot to do with who you start a relationship with. Though it's a lot more to do with being well-groomed than attractive. We could have fantastic chemistry, but I'm never going to find that out if you smell like old cheese and haven't brushed your hair this week since I'm not going to stick around long enough to find out.
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Tami 4 years ago
Just a little would help a lot. A better haircut, neat facial hair if any, clean neatly-trimmed nails, and some moisturizer (especially if you're older).
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Unless you're living in the Netherlands where women hardly use any make up.
I I 4 years ago
my wife dresses for comfort , hasnt worn make up for years , to busy bringing up kids and working to be bothering with all that , i agree , i do the same , we even laugh how weird we look when we do actually get "DONE UP"
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Monica Hayes 4 years ago
actually, good grooming....hands down....dont need designer stuff, just wear clean clothes, freshly washed hair and smell nice,!
GoddessOdd 4 years ago
I have always had a problem with men who are so vain they spend more time getting ready than I do. I went on one date with a guy who was so fascinated looking at himself in the mirror behind the bar, that I left early, so he could enjoy himself. He was very good looking, but seriously... if you're spending two hours to get ready... no matter who you are, you might want to consider your priorities.
Joanne Hudson 4 years ago
I hate seeing a nice girl in a lacy dress, heals, "done up" with a guy wearing a ratty tee shirt, flannel shirt as a "blazer" and old faded jeans. I've seen this with known couples. If she's good enough to be seen in public with, show a little respect.
Celtic Pirate Queen 4 years ago
When I was online dating, before I met my husband, some of the guys looked great - but greatly lacked personality or charm. I met one guy for dinner (HUGE mistake, meet for coffee or lunch first), he was really good looking, but a complete d**k. He was rude & condescending to our server. Nope. I just got up and walked out.
#17
Personality is better than attractiveness. Some of my close buddies try to only go for 10/10 chicks. Like ya that’s good and all but if you can’t even talk to the girl then what’s the point
Pungent Sauce 4 years ago
A lot of people, both men and women, think physical attractiveness is an acceptable substitute for a personality and/or intelligence. They are wrong.
Ellis Reed 4 years ago
In the words of Bianca Del Rio, "Beauty fades, dumb is forever." Not saying all beautiful people are actually dumb but people's looks will always fade, best to find someone with a personality you enjoy because that will stick around forever
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Martin Kaine 4 years ago
Yes, absolutely, but it also works the other way. For some of these "lookers," the more I talked to them, the less attractive they became
Load More Replies... SumoNinja 4 years ago (edited)
i think my wife is beautiful, but she does not meet the standard definition. On the other hand, we play video games together, watch horror movies together, do craft projects together, and a number of other activities that let us talk and really bond over all sorts of things. Someone with looks alone might be good for a night, but an interesting person is good for a lifetime.
Mari 4 years ago
My brother in law went only for the young and attractive girls. Now he's 50, 3times divorced, no kids and depressed.
GoddessOdd 4 years ago (edited)
I have never really understood this. A lot of the exceptionally good looking guys I dated were about as interesting as an empty suit. I am sure a lot of guys feel the same about some of the hotties they've dated. Don't get me wrong, looks are nice, IF they're part of an entire package, but looks are not the most important part of that. If you're marrying for looks, you're going to be out of luck in a few decades, when age takes its toll. Most people who marry for looks are actually practicing serial monogamy; ditching the old one for a new model every few years. Nothing sadder than a person who based their life on their good looks, fighting a battle they can never win with aging.
Supernatural 4 years ago
Yep...I saw a reality tv couple in a London restaurant few weeks back....barely said a f*****g word to each other for 2 solid hours..just stared at their phones
#18
People shouldn’t be pressured to always be high achievers or to have some huge goal they’re working towards. I’m not saying it’s OK to be “lazy,” but equally we don’t all have to be aiming to become senior managers or famous celebs. Some dudes just like to go to the 9-5, put in their time, come home and chill with the family and that’s totally fine.
Elsker 4 years ago
where would we be with only managers and CEO's if nobody wants to do the other work?
Claudia Gotthardt 4 years ago
Some "lazy" people use their time to give immense emotional or other support to others unpaid and unseen.
SumoNinja 4 years ago
It is absolutely ok to be "lazy". as long as you are taking care of your basic needs, if you want to live life as it comes, go for it. You don't have to be driven by achievement if you are happy. 50 years old and I am doing the same job I did when I was 25 and I have no regrets about that. The more I got promoted, the more unhappy I was, so I took a new job with half the pay, but that I could do in my sleep and go home without stress.
Fluffy Griffin 4 years ago (edited)
My hubby was second in command (with the burdens of a CEO) of the last company he worked for. Then he quit and is now only a "lowly manager" of a new company. He is soooooooo much happier. Way less stress.
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
Absolutely, a society works with a balance, but time and time again those in the higher positions are disgusting people.
“The main danger of toxic masculinity is that those men can be emotionally abusive and/or physically violent and sexually violent to women,” the expert said.
“They can also be aggressive to gay people. They perpetuate toxic messages of masculinity so toxic masculinity is usually passed down to their children and peers maintaining the problems,” the mental health expert noted that family members can pass down certain harmful beliefs from generation to generation. That means that widespread positive changes would take a long time to take root.
“Toxic masculinity also harms the men themselves because repressing their own emotions so much can lead to mental health issues, depression, and even suicide. Toxic masculinity harms everybody.”
#19
That being a dad, is in fact, my actual favorite thing to do.
I have painstakingly procured a life, and career, that allows me to exercise at work, practice my hobby during working hours (BJJ). So basically I telework. But I am not monitored. I do all my work that needs to get done on time and early and above standard. So nobody questions what I do during the day. But they do know. I have told my supervisor and when s**t pops, it never gets in the way of work. Balance. So that way all my time when my kids get out of school can be devoted to them with 100% of my attention. That way I can listen to them, really listen to remember those things that are super important to them. I ducking love watching them explore the world and first crushes and turning down boys and my little guy thinking he’s he-man cause he lifted a gallon of milk. Lest we forget that’s a mans first feat of strength to show mommy we are big boys. F**king love it.
Hans 4 years ago
Unpopular? I actually took about a year of parental leave for each child and while most people guessed it would be a career killer, it wasn't (admittedly, I worked a bit every night to keep myself in the loop). What's more important: I got to spent pretty much most of every day of the first year of life of my children with them. That was totally worth it. "They grow so fast" is not only a stupid proverb. They grow so fast! Spending time with them while they are young is but a tiny fraction of your total life. I am grateful that staying home worked for me (which means that many puzzle pieces need to come together), and I wish it to become possible for all who would fancy it – I truly do.
Kevin Beard 4 years ago
I think for some men, the idea that they have a part in child care is unpopular.
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similarly 4 years ago
Here's one: sometimes, as a dad, I got tired of being "bad cop". I got tired of "wait until your father comes home" being used to control the kids. I got tired of coming home from a long day to "guess what your son did today! What are you going to do about it?" Okay. Yeah. I know the Dad's supposed to be scary one. Mom's supposed to be love and cookies, and Dad's the hammer. Sometimes I was okay with it, but sometimes I wanted to be good cop.
Popescu Adina 4 years ago
Not always, for us, dad was the good cop while mom tended to be the bad cop. But we knew we messed up when they stood together... so, this is something that you should talk it over with your wife, IMO.
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Mistiekim 4 years ago
If only all men felt like this! My father never took an interest in me or my sisters. I have very few memories of him doing anything fun with me, only discipline type stuff. When my parents divorced he basically stopped being in my life. I talk to him on the phone maybe 2 or 3 times a year, but that’s it. It has really messed me up in terms of relationships and it sucks. It’s like those people who get a pet only to keep them outside and ignore them. Why get a pet in the first place?!?! In this case, why have a kid in the first place?!?!
kennedy1209 4 years ago
I was a "stay at home dad" for almost a year right after my youngest was born. Couldn't find work. Honestly, it was the greatest year of my life.
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
Not something I will experience but I get it, never had a paternal bone in my body, I like animals and free time too much.
Don't Look 4 years ago
Honestly, it’s way more important to be a dad than to do anything else once you are a dad. That window of opportunity is far too small to waste.
#20
That it’s ok to genuinely want affection
Scagsy 4 years ago
I think my wife thinks I'm like a puppy lately because I keep wanting hugs. (I'm struggling a bit right now).
Chris Freeman 4 years ago
Good for you man. Just like food, your body will tell you what it needs and never any shame in that. We all have different needs, and that is what we do for our partners.
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#21
People can wear whatever clothes they wanna and it doesn't define sexuality!!!!
Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
I tell you, near me, in the UK, I quite often see schoolboys wearing skirts and I feel proud of them for doing so. I saw one lad walking down the street with his dad like that, some boys in a charity shop where one wore a skirt and was buying a dress. Good on them.
ZAPanda 4 years ago
Wow. Our country is super toxic masc about this. I wear "funny" colours and often get asked why I don't wear blue jeans and lumberjack shirts. Well maybe it's because I do not want to look like a patriarch?
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J 4 years ago
Absolutely. As long as its not inappropriate to the situation, its fine - by inappropriate I mean wear a bikini to a black tie/evening dress event. My young granddaughter has male friend who wears dresses and no one bats an eyelid. The only question I had was did he identify as male or female, so I could address him correctly and not cause offence or upset him. :)
Lunar Bicycle 4 years ago
There are a couple of guys I see around the neighborhood that put a lot of effort into their dresses, hats, makeup etc. that they wear. They look awesome. Are they straight? Gay? No? Ace? I don’t care, I’m just happy for them because they look good, and, more importantly, look like they feel good.
Mary Jeffries 4 years ago
I just took both my boys to get their ears pierced. Their decision after a lot of discussions on why some people might flip them s**t for it. They decided they didn’t care and pretty soon we’re going to get more earrings for them to wear.
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
Fat Mike, one of my favourite people in the world, wears dresses and skirts now, and I love him even more for it BUT it probably is easier when you're a multi-millionaire rock star who is fairly famous and only does what he wants. He's always been a sissy and a transvestite but now he's rocking it.
#22
It’s better to have quality sexual encounters instead of quantitative
Susie Elle 4 years ago
Jesus Christ, thank you! I thought I was one of the few who feels like this. I'd rather have great sex once a week than meh-sex five times a week.
Mike Crow 4 years ago
Sex doesn’t always have to be about the finale, learn to enjoy the smaller stuff as well even if it is only holding your partners hand.
Valisbourne Spiritforge 4 years ago (edited)
Intimacy doesn't have to be about sexual intercourse at all. Quality time and closeness are every bit as important, if not more important than sex itself. They can certainly happen more often than sex can!
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#23
Sports are dumb. Everyone packing into crowds so they can fawn over some guys because they can throw a ball through a hoop, or whatever? Dumb. Pointless. A huge waste of time and resources. Think of what we could do if we took all the time and money and attention and passion spent on overly complicated kids games and put it toward something productive or rewarding. It’s a drain on human potential without returning anything. Plus is encourages aggression and tribalism, stupid conflicts and exclusionary behaviors. And we make our education system so much more expensive because we insist on attaching our schools to minor-league sports teams.
Full Name 4 years ago (edited)
I disagree with this one. But I also don't look down on someone who doesn't like sports. In my family sports are fun and bring us together. My wife, son, and I are huge football fans (american football). My son plays football, I coach and my wife is just a big fan of the game. It provides a tight bond in our family that we all really enjoy and gives us a great opportunity to spend quality time together.
Sergio Bicerra 4 years ago
The difference is that you and your family are football fans, the ones that spoil the fun are the ones thet take it way too seriously and personal. I've seen in movies people in the US make barbeques in the parking zones outside stadiums, take a cuople of beers, share with strangers from the neighbour cars and seems a lot of fun.
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Giles McArdell 4 years ago
I am not interested in sports but I do not agree with this. Sports provide enormous enjoyment and social bonding for billions as well as (mostly) promoting good health. The main problem is the exploitation and commercialism that have taken them over and turned them into an industry.
DennyS (denzoren) 4 years ago
I really like football (Soccer) and while I agree they are massively overpaid and fans take things way to seriously (like riots or abusing players when they lose) I still really like it. The euphoria of an entire crowd chanting or seeing your favorite team win makes me very happy. I get what you mean though, especially in the States where the high schoolers don't even get paid for playing, like with basketball.
Sergio Bicerra 4 years ago
I get you! I have no much interest in soccer besides my natiional team. In fact, got aphonic for three days after we beat our common rival in the last world cup qualificatiions, and felt proud to see the fans choring our natiinal anthem in Rusia. Fans are fun, fanatics are dumb.
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DrBronxx 4 years ago
I disagree about the overall premise that "sports are dumb". I also disagree with calling something that other people like "dumb". If you don't like it? Fine. You don't understand it? Fine. I'm sure you have interests and passions that others find equally unappealing and baffling. And using reductio ad absurdum is pointless, because you can do it with anything. "Movies? A bunch of people in a dark room watching other people in makeup tell the made up thoughts of yet more people." Points like that get us nowhere. There is also the assumption here that sports are not productive or rewarding, when for many people they are. The OP does have a point about the education system, though.
Randy Klefbeck 4 years ago
How about dance instead? The most physically demanding and at the same time rewarding thing I ever did was four years of ballet, two years of jazz and modern, and two months of tap. I have played almost every sport imaginable (mixed martial arts for a decade, wrestling in high school for three years...two on varsity, and over a decade of hockey, decades of downhill skiing, tennis, volleyball, downhill mountain biking,...the list goes on and on) and without a doubt, balance, cardio, flexibility and lean strength required was beyond the pale.
Oly-babe 1 year ago
I live in WA an hour from Seattle & I hate Seahawks fans. I couldn’t believe how crazy & aggressive they are. I think watching a bunch of grown men run after a ball & tackle each other it’s boring af & I hate how much they pay professional athletes. They shouldn’t make more than drs, firefighters, EMTs & other 1sr responders
Robin Childers 3 years ago
On the flip side, a lot of kids get scholarships to college when they could never otherwise afford to go. That, to me, is the only good thing about organized sports beyond elementary school.
#24
Being able to beat up another man you have an issue with doesn’t make you the stronger man, or correct.
Thorfin Wolfsbane 4 years ago
We should all study Bruce Lee's "The Art of Fighting Without Fighting"
Tapio Magnussen 4 years ago
Beating a person you have an issue with is not a person thing... unless you pee at all of your house corners.
Kevin Camp 4 years ago
This is true, but upon saying this, sometimes an ass needs kicking too.
Jane Alexander 4 years ago
Being able to beat up another man you don't have an issue with doesn't make a lot of sense either.
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
Being a pretty big dude who can handle himself does have it's uses, I will stand up for any bullying etc and have ejected dudes from mosh pits for groping girls etc. I would rather be able to and not need it then not be able to and get beat up.
Don't Look 4 years ago
🤣 I’m picturing a 10 year old tap a 7 ft tall guy on the knee and say “wanna wrestle?” And the guy just steps back a couple inches because how on earth does one even deal?
#25
I prefer small breasts. A full figured woman with hips and an arse, but small(er) breasts. The whole huge breast phenomenon just doesnt gel with me.
Itty bitty titty committee all the way.
Lemaire 4 years ago
True, but there is definitely a cultural imperative around big breasts that has always baffled me. Also, as others have said, there is more than one way to be attractive. A pretty face on a healthy body is more important than a specific morphology.
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Donkey boi 4 years ago
I don't care what a woman's breasts are like, big, small, saggy, pert, absent... if we're in a position where we're both naked, there's a reason I'm there and it ain't nothing to do with your tits.
Karl Baxter 4 years ago
All breasts are wonderful but, more important, is who they’re attached to.
Zozo🤟 4 years ago
Honestly I kinda needed to hear that :) Sometimes I can be insecure about my flatness and un-curvy-ness
Sergio Bicerra 4 years ago
2 of my ex gf had big breasts, like a 34D, can't remember. They felt unconfortable using pronounced cleavages, and their back pain was just killing them. One opted for breast reduction, and the other still suffers from them. Big breasts can be like "wow" for some men but believe me, you'll thank your size later.
Load More Replies... Pungent Sauce 4 years ago
Never got guys who like a tiny woman but want her to have a back-breaking top shelf. Never met a practical woman who said “I wish these hurt me/got in the way more”
GoddessOdd 4 years ago
As a too generously endowed woman, I longed for smaller breasts, almost as soon as I got mine. When I was 11 I was already attracting unwanted male attention. It's a trait that runs in my family... a younger relative just went thru the agony of reduction surgery, and I don't blame her, but it was an ordeal. All the cutest bras come in smaller sizes. I've never understood why people go for huge boobs, especially big nasty plastic store-bought ta-tas
Natalia Allen 3 years ago
I agree, one thing I would have so loved would have been to wear a beautiful strappy top or dress without a hammock hoisting the girls up and ruining the look. There is something incredibly sexy to me about the thought of that freedom to just be bare.
Load More Replies... #26
Telling your friends you love them is perfectly normal
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
When you spent as many hours as I did in the 90's on ecstasy with your friends, it was the quote of the decade "mate I f****n love you".
Bacony Cakes 4 years ago
That's the essence of humanity in that quote there.
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Sarah Sorbel 4 years ago
There are many languages that there are many words for "love" in order to describe the context. There is romantic love, friendship love, family love, etc.
Mary Jeffries 4 years ago
I often see groups of old guys meeting out for a long breakfast and gab fest. Seeing men value their relationships with other men makes me feel happy. They deserve closeness with others as much as anyone else.
#27
Cooking for yourself is fun as s**t and extremely rewarding.
Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
Yeah man, like how "gay" is it to make food. Eating is for pussies. /S
Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
This is weird. It depends on whether you like cooking. Some people can't stand it so it's never fun.
Popescu Adina 4 years ago (edited)
You have to stop and think why you actually hate it... there is one aspect of it or you are just lazy and want others to do it for you. For example, I hate recipes and rules (like oil should be first or this food needs that ingredients) so I hated cooking too. Until I realised that I can do whatever I want and just taste the food as it cooks and add more stuff to make it better, or invent new ways to cook things. I can never cook the same thing the same way twice but it's fun to play with it and make something good.
Load More Replies... Daniel Atkins 4 years ago
Cooking is a life skill Everyone should learn you may not be a chef but you don't have to eat pre-made junk all the time.
GoddessOdd 4 years ago
I don't think this is an unpopular choice, especially these days. I can cook, but I married a chef, and he LOVED it, so let him.
Andrew Tolar 4 years ago
absolutely true. i grew up with a mom and dad who both cooked and who made sure i knew how to cook as i grew up. until recently i did 90% of the cooking in my household. chemotherapy has cut into my ability to cook much but i certainly look forward to my recovery so i can start doing more of it again.
#28
I get a bit emotional while listening to beautiful music... It's my opinion that men would rather do this while alone.
Kirsten Kerkhof 4 years ago
I made a big man cry (I swear it was completely unintentional, just wanted to share the music) with 'Mille Regretz' by Josquin des Prez. It's a 16th century chanson and IMO absolutely hauntingly beautiful.
Giles McArdell 4 years ago
Occasional bits of music, or other art, books, films etc can make me cry. Sometimes it is the simple realisation that I will never in my life create something as beautiful or profound.
Kevin Camp 4 years ago
I have no problem at all with this. The live version of "The Garden" by Rush was the last song Neil Peart wrote before he passed away from brain cancer. It still breaks my heart to listen to it.
Tobias Rieper 4 years ago
I agree 1000% with this music is supposed to get an emotional response whether its happy motivated or making you cry its like the saying goes life without music would be a mistake
#29
More military related, but women absolutely have a place in the infantry. I had the privilege serve alongside some of the toughest women I’ve ever met. They could outrun and outgun many of our guys any day of the week.
kjorn 4 years ago
say that to China and North Korea. they didn't get the memo
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Valisbourne Spiritforge 4 years ago
You seem to be suggesting that having female infantry would automatically 'lower the bar'? if so, that kind of shoots your "I agree" in the foot doesn't it?
Load More Replies... I I 4 years ago
my friends daughter is in the RAF she's way capable and one of the nicest people you'll meet
Karin Morris 3 years ago
Women also have more stamina and pain resistance than men do. they just aren't physically as strong as most men.
Chris Zaydel 4 years ago
I used to think that any great country wouldn't send it's mothers and daughters to war. I've changed on that, but so has war. We don't typically send tens of thousands into actual battel on foot as in the past. It's much more war from a distance with much less boots on the ground. I know there are some great woman pilots and weapon systems operators, but we can't deny the real physical differences. IMO, no disrespect.
sofacushionfort 4 years ago
Humping 60 lbs of gear: upper body strength nugatory, big legs and a sturdy ass: priceless
backatya 4 years ago
I don't know about that. Where there's women and men in the mix you'll find them getting pregnant. Or some can't haul their load so some men will feel compelled to carry their baggage. Then they have the monthly period to contend with. If men get ptsd then don't you think women are going to be more emotionally worse?
#30
Yoga is a great thing to do if you work laborious jobs.
anarkzie 4 years ago
The problem with yoga is that it is mostly marketed towards women in the West, so few guys try it. I think if more guys gave it a go and stuck it out for at least two weeks you would see this become a popular opinion.
Sean Wickham 4 years ago
That and our fear of farting in front of women who are not our wives or relatives.
Load More Replies... Mike Loux 4 years ago
My wife convinced me to go to a retreat about 10 years ago where we learned Ayurveda, got massages, meditated, and did yoga daily. I got bit by the yoga bug there, and fell in love with the practice. I don't practice it nearly as much as I should, but it is a lot of fun, and you feel incredible afterwards. And remember, savasana (final resting or "corpse" pose) is THE most important pose.
Narwhal Blast 4 years ago
Savasana is my favourite! Not sure why, but it is! Way to go, good for you! I was wondering where all the men who practice yoga were...
Load More Replies... Thorfin Wolfsbane 4 years ago
If it can help Hank Hill's back problem, then it must be alright.
Immortal Emperor Paradox 4 years ago (edited)
Yoga is a great thing to do for everybody. The End.
PitbullmomAF 4 years ago
Also that yoga is hard. There are different styles of yoga and some can be very challenging.
Cinnamon 4 years ago
I attend a yoga gym. It is owned and run by a military veteran couple. They encourage first responders, military, law enforcement to become members. It keeps them healthy, both mentally and physically. Usually a third of my class attendance is males. Still can’t convince my husband to try it yet, though.
Heather Weather 3 years ago
Tell you single friends, the best opportunity to meet an available lady is at the 7:30 weekday yoga class. They are there because they’re busy during the day, working or going to school and don’t have anyone at home asking them why they’re going out, spouse/kids. Then when it’s over, it’s time hang out, like, “Where we headed ladies?” Perfect singles space! Like fishing on a barrel!
#31
Not wanting to be friends with my coworkers doesn’t make me an as**hole. I just know I can’t spare the energy to care about these people’s lives, my own is tiring enough. I love my real friends and I wouldn’t chose to be friends with most colleagues if I met them outside of work.
SumoNinja 4 years ago
In my industry (software development) there is an expectation that you will spend time together outside of work. If you don't you aren't a team player and it is career limiting. like, I spend more time with you than I do with my family already. why would I want to skew that imbalance even further?
Emma Perkins 4 years ago
Yeah, I think a lot of people in software dev work (especially younger people) don't have a lot going on outside of the office, so it's the easiest place to make friends. It's also not my way of making friends though, because inevitably if you leave your job you lose your entire friends circle.
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Feral Heart 4 years ago
At my old job we were all "friends" and "family" which was toxic as sh*t! After switching jobs, decided to keep my life private and not share all personal stuff with them. They are not my friends, they are people I work with and people who pay me to do the job - nothing else!
Giles McArdell 4 years ago
One of my two best friends is someone I work with, perhaps I'm just lucky.
Mike Loux 4 years ago
I can see both sides of this particular coin. I get along really well with my coworkers, and occasionally enjoy hanging out with them outside of office hours, but I don't want to spend my life with them. On the other hand, I met my wife at work, and I DO want to spend my life with her, so there's that.
DennyS (denzoren) 4 years ago
Thank you! Over the years I've become friends with some former co-workers but I'm not there to be make friends. I keep my work and private life very far apart.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Your coworkers are coworkers, your friends are your friends. Never mix them up and never let them mingle. And never introduce a friend to your employer as a potential employee. Trust me, I learned the hard way.
#32
This may be a bit specific, but I'm getting married soon, and I hate how everything regarding the groom/groomsmen is nothing but whiskey, mustaches, and bullets. Sure I enjoy whiskey now and then, but its like mens' only identity is booze and guns. Its so weird.
Kirsten Kerkhof 4 years ago
Similarly: birthday cards. Why can I not find a nice birthday card for my brothers that does not feature beer or soccer? Yes, they like beer, and women's cards overflow with cupcakes and flowers (equally stereotypical), but I just want nice classy grown-up birthday cards that do not feature booze or sports. Thank you.
Erika 4 years ago
I buy cards at the pet shop. If a saucy Corgi with a cake doesn't make you smile I don't need to know you.
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Valisbourne Spiritforge 4 years ago
Not weird, sad. Guns, fishing/hunting, booze, womanizing... that's a MANS man. And it's total bunk.
Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
Because we have been keyholed into being 1 dimensional barbarians by men and advertisers who stress this is as the epitome of rustic, testosterone filled masculinity. Ask my 3 uncles, who drank a bottle of whiskey and a 24 pack of beer a day and died in their low 30s, how manly it is to leave a wife and ton of kids without a dad.
ZAPanda 4 years ago
This is quite specifically an American thing I think? Here it tends to be public humiliation stuff. Quite common to see hazing pranks like "husbands-to-be" wearing nappies ("diapers") made out of bath towels and begging for cash at traffic lights ... that kind of thing. Also quite common to have a stripper come over etc. Horrible. Fortunately my own friends are not idiots so I didn't have this experience.
Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
You'd never have things with guns on in the UK, but things for men are always beer, cars, football, fishing and stuff like that.
Mike Loux 4 years ago
"Do you, Missile Launcher, take this woman, Petunia RoseFlower, to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
#33
It’s ok to be kind
Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
some bro dudes view kindness as weak and feminine....because they are ignorant.
Load More Replies... #34
The feminist and anti-male proponents are not necessarily wrong. Almost universally men have abused positions of power over women, across different cultures on a societal level.
Max 4 years ago
I mean, I don't agree with a lot of anti-male proponents, because they tend to think (or at least act like it's their opinion) that it's an inherant part of being male to be abusive and scummy. And like, no. Men can be good and kind and caring and respectful. Doing so is a choice, just as being abusive and scummy is a choice.
Sky Render 4 years ago
It's usually a lot more complicated than that... When you're hurt repeatedly by multiple men in various ways, it's to be expected that you'd start hating the entire gender. Confirmation bias can set in pretty fast due to the trauma, as it becomes a sensible move for survival to just avoid all males given the relative frequency of abuse from them. Holding the perpetrators accountable for their actions and forcing them to make reparations would certainly help, because when we as a culture let abuse toward women slide, we're just reinforcing for those who have been abused that they're right to hate men.
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SumoNinja 4 years ago
Feminism is critical. Anti-male... it mainly serves to create hostility. And it is essentially sexist because it says "men are like X so you are like X". I understand and am not bothered by women being cautious of me until they know me... but refusing to know me because of my gender isn't social justice. it is just hate.
Donkey boi 4 years ago
I dislike 'anti-male' but I can endorse and support feminism, equal rights, anti-abuse and so on.
similarly 4 years ago
When someone says "men do (x)" and it's something I don't do, I just assume they're talking about some other men and not me, and don't take it personally. Everybody knows that "not all men" do that. Nobody needs to say it. I understand. If my neighbor got attacked by a bear and is complaining about it, it's not really the right time to point out that not all bears attack people, and that very few people statistically get attacked by bears. Now's the time for me to be quiet and let people talk about their problems, and maybe talk about how to keep the world safer for people and bears.
#35
“I have urges, needs” is just another way of saying I can’t control myself.
Donkey boi 4 years ago
I thought it was a way of saying 'I really need some banana ice-cream'?
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
I've been married 11 years, if I try that she will point me in the direction of the bathroom and make a faint gesture with her hand.
Glowdaddy 4 years ago (edited)
How would you discuss, your needs/desires for sex, comfort, support, help or a million other things? Acting on urges and needs in a nonconsensual manner is terribly wrong, but if a romantic/marital partnership can't discuss needs, then there is a good chance the relationship will fail.
SumoNinja 4 years ago
If you use it as an excuse for behavior, definitely. But i do think it is good to communicate with your partner if your needs aren't being met. Still their body, but if they love you, what you want is at least a factor in their decision. Also, women say this too, and it is perfectly valid in the right context. Sometimes guys "put out" for love too.
#36
Fuc**k being stoic and tough. I don't want to be resilient, I want to enjoy life at my own, rather slow and lazy, pace.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago (edited)
Sometimes you have to be stoic and tough to enjoy life at your own, rather slow and lazy, pace. Otherwise there's always someone invading your slow and lazy life.
Theoretical Empiricist 4 years ago
Sometimes I need to simply go to pieces, but I feel like I'm not allowed to.
sofacushionfort 4 years ago
And the ancient’s debate between the Stoics and Epicureans continues.
#37
I believe in child support most men wont agree but to the dudes thats paying and dont want to pay the mother is with the kid EVERY SINGLE DAY they are there for ALL THE APPOINTMENTS and school stuff and he's still not there for that but b**ch about paying some money when its your kid. If the men took the time to understand what the women do they wouldn't b**ch about paying. How about if the men took the kid/s for a wk just a wk straight lets here them complain about child support. They complain about they work schedule but what about the moms that do it with jobs also with better jobs than men
Penny Fan 4 years ago
I've been a single mum and the ex didn't pay very well but it was better than nothing, and I used the money for our child. Current hubby's ex was using the child maintenance to go out and get bladdered every w/e, she even pawned the new trainers he brought for the kid. So while I agree absolutely with CM, some women just take the piss.
Heather Menard 4 years ago
I think they should pay child support, but I don't think they should have to pay so much that they have to live in a crappy apt for her to get her nails done.
Guilherme Bottossi 4 years ago
"If the men took the time to understand what the women do they wouldn't b**ch about paying." Actually they understand they just don´t care. For some men, a woman is made for that.
Bobby 4 years ago
Not sure if child support is a thing outside the USA, but in my experience I have seen men that are required to pay, in my opinion, not enough or too much. An example would be my wife's ex. He doesn't pay anything, even though he is supposed to. Another example is my friend, lets call him John, who had to take on 3 room mates after the divorce because his child support is 50% of his paycheck
An Co 4 years ago
Horrible argument. Ignores reality, presumes a ton of very important facts are one way. Let me ask you a question - if a criminal sneaks into a sperm bank and impregnates herself, should the 'father' pay? Also, are you requiring genetic proof of fatherhood? If someone wants to have a child, and fights to have joint custody, then your logic applies. (regardless of if they get any custody at all.) But all too often you have someone that just had a one night stand (or something where they had even less true responsibility), and boom they are required to pay child support. If a woman has the right to give up a child for adoption, than a man should have the right to never pay child support. At least until a month after being notified that the child is his. But once a man decides to be a father, then YES, he should pay child support.
Tamra Stiffler 4 years ago
If a man wants to avoid the responsibility of being a father, either don't have sex or wear a condom. Otherwise, if you get a woman pregnant, that child is now also your responsibility.
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#38
“Working on an all women team would s**k”.
It’s actually been the most mentally healthy and favourite years of employment in my lifetime.
Mike Crow 4 years ago (edited)
When I was on the HMCS Vancouver (FFH 331) I was on an all female watch (and me of course) and it was awesome because we kicked ass. Our Lt and petty officer never came around because they knew we could handle any task without them.
80 Van 4 years ago (edited)
I worked on an all-woman team for years, and it was a wonderful work experience. Of course, everyone has different personalities and temperaments, so there were amazing coworkers and difficult coworkers, regardless of gender. But, the general tone was a lot more supportive and kind than when I worked on an all-male team in a previous job.
François Carré 4 years ago
I can only see advantages in it, to be honest. No testosterone or c**k contest involved in everyday work interactions. They do have their arguments though, but generally let me outside of it. And they don't hit on me, which I guess would very likely happen if I were a woman in an all-male team (AND I don't hit on any of them, obviously, which would be beyond awkward). My coworkers are also a bit older than me so I've always felt more like I'm surrounded by a team of aunts or older sisters. And now that years have passed, I'm starting to have younger coworkers, so I guess it's legit to see them as my little sisters or my nieces.
Emma Perkins 4 years ago
Sometimes, and this strongly depends on the kind of women you're working with, I think women have been affected by the societal pressure of being kind and accommodating to everyone. They end up being great to work with if people don't take advantage of their desire to keep the peace.
Karl Baxter 4 years ago (edited)
I think work teams are better when there is a balance of men and women. There is a stereotype of all male environments being “laddish” but I once worked in a department as the only man among twelve women and it was the nastiest atmosphere ever. Several women (not all) used the situation to badmouth their husbands and boyfriends in awful ways. I’m glad I wasn’t involved romantically with any of them. I’ve never heard men slag off their partners in such a terrible way.
Pungent Sauce 4 years ago
A far less toxic environment in my experience, but group dynamics always vary.
#39
Hookup culture, pickup artistry, friends with benefits, casual sex, etc. are destructive to a man’s sense of self-worth and the glorification of sex first, commitment later is something modern society and pop culture has completely backwards.
El muerto 4 years ago
the way you live your sexuality is your own. it doesn't make it's bad. why? because it is an option for both men an women...limiting sex to relationship is not the better option, is one option...stop telling people what is the "right" type of life...but that men are celebrated for their sexual freedom while women are chastised for it needs to change
SumoNinja 4 years ago
Agreed. As long as both people are into what is going on, it's cool. Not everyone wants both sex and a relationship. Sometimes they one or they other, and they deserve to be happy just like everyone else.
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kjorn 4 years ago
pression do that to men. i never surrender to pression from others. i do what i want, i wear what i want, i listen what i want. i already being mock for listening some 'girly' music when i was in highschool. i was just.. ok so what? nothing ever stick to me. go F yourself. i love it suck it up
#40
Women aren't complicated and they aren't wonderful. They're just people and that comes with all the good and bad you're able to see in men. You're just either choosing not to see it in women or are naive. Hell doesn't discriminate when hiring and everyone is qualified.
El muerto 4 years ago
this is important, PEOPLE are people, and they are three dimensional, men or women are not worse or better because of their gender, is because who they are...when I was a kid I was riced to see women ass overly good and pure. but I learn the hard way the opposite. but I didn't learn to hate women, but see that they are have as many dark sides as men
#41
Waiting to have sex isn’t a bad thing
For confusion purposes: I mean Waiting not wanting, as in waiting for marriage or a serious relationship
Mike Crow 4 years ago
Don’t have sex just because you think it is what society ants you to do.
kjorn 4 years ago
depend what kinds of Ants. so many kind of ants in the world
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Don't don't have sex because you're told that having sex before marriage makes you dirty and unattractive.
Deborah B 4 years ago
Waiting to have sex until you are in a relationship because you only want to be intimate with someone you love is demisexuality. Waiting because you've been brainwashed that it's dirty or immoral is sad. Judging or shaming someone because they chose to have sex before marriage is wrong.
#42
I don't like to call women chicks and don't like anyone who calls them that
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
Lol I just call everyone mate or dude, mate, I even call my parents mate, it's easier, everyone is mate or dude, regardless of anything else.
Load More Replies... kjorn 4 years ago
or B!tches. i don't understand when it's ok for hiphop music singer to do it so.
similarly 4 years ago
Someone once asked Hugh Hefner of all people "How do you get so many b*****es?" and he answered "Well, first of all, I don't call them b****es."
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InfectedVoice 4 years ago
Chicks is alright here, it's just from the Spanish word for girl, chiquita. Not seen as offensive at all, many chicks call other chicks chicks, "hey chick" is a very common greeting you hear a lot. This guy just sounds like a idiot really.
similarly 4 years ago (edited)
Really? I never knew that. I come from a family with a lot of native speakers (though I'm not one of them), and I also hear relatives call each other "chica".
Load More Replies... SumoNinja 4 years ago
I sometimes feel a little weird calling my wife "baby". I mean, she is not an infant, she is a grown intelligent person, but it is just kind of what stuck and she likes it.
GoddessOdd 4 years ago
I was always shocked when my ex used my name... he never called me anything but Baby, and I liked it. I called him BabyCakes.
Load More Replies... #43
I don’t know if it’s already said but I hate beer (and drinking in general tbh)
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
I love lager, genuinely love it but of course there are many drinks that taste nicer.
Pungent Sauce 4 years ago
Beer is objectively awful, as is coffee. I still enjoy both when the mood hits, lol (coffee more so)
ZAPanda 4 years ago
I think coffee is mostly disappointing, it smells much better than it tastes.
Load More Replies... #44
Going vegan doesn't make you feminine
Pungent Sauce 4 years ago
Guy who held the strongest man title for a few years is vegan, as are an increasing amount of world record and professional athletes. The science is pretty sound, but the meat industry has a lot of money. (I’m speaking as an omnivore)
ZAPanda 4 years ago
I think it should be compulsory for kids to go to abbatoirs in grade 12... just so they know how it is made.
anaona 4 years ago
I think it should be compulsory if you want to eat meat you have to kill the animal yourself at least once a year.
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Latte 4 years ago
I heard going vegan makes you turn into a weird lizard-human (I say this as a regular human)
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
Just hungry and slightly pale and with the smelliest farts of any living animal.
Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
It justs makes you judgemental and tiresome (I say this as a veggie who doesn't go on about it).
Tamra Stiffler 4 years ago
I think some vegans who have done some intensive research into factory farming, etc. have been exposed to some really horrific images and information, and become really passionate about it as a result. That passion can sometimes come across as being very aggressive about their ideas. And yes, judgy too. Not all of us are like that though, I promise.
Load More Replies... #45
I really hate my body hair. Really, just all of it is rough and ugly and whenever I shave I feel so much better about the appearance of my face, legs, etc.
ZAPanda 4 years ago
YES!! most men's stomachs look like a donut fell on a barbershop floor. Horrible.
Reynard 4 years ago
I have a great excuse, I'm a cyclist. We shave our legs mostly because you don't get as much road rash if you fall and it heals a lot quicker. It's a minsnomer that it's for aerodynamics. Another reason I do it is because it feels better. You can feel leg hair whipping your skin in the wind while going 35+ kph. After hours of that you get wind burn.
BaconBenchPress616 4 years ago (edited)
I like my hairy chest/stomach and so does my lady! Though I did enjoy shaving it all in high school.
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
My armpit hair can grow long and look a little messy so my wife trims it for me, apart from that it is what it is.
sofacushionfort 4 years ago
Even the most Neanderthal Male Chauvinist wants you to do something about that unibrow.
Donkey boi 4 years ago
This is my camp! If it's below the head, shave it off! (you can leave you a**e hairy if you get stubble rash).
#46
You don’t need to drive a manual transmission. Automatic cars that get you from A to B are a better driving experience for me. Especially in a city with traffic.
Valisbourne Spiritforge 4 years ago
I'd still argue that everyone should know HOW to drive a stick. Even if it's not what you own or drive regularly. There's always the "what if?" scenario where a stick is the only vehicle around.
anarkzie 4 years ago
Agreed, in the UK it's the norm to learn to drive stick for those reasons.
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Scagsy 4 years ago
Apparently, driving a manual is also a good theft deterrent in the U.S. because most of the thieves only know auto. Please correct me if I'm wrong, Americana pandas.
Pungent Sauce 4 years ago
Referred to as an anti-theft device when disparaging millennials
Load More Replies... ZAPanda 4 years ago
In SA we also have mostly manual. One thing that is pretty cool about it is kickstarting. If your car is flaky (like mine), you get the car rolling and then jam it into gear. I don't know if this works in automatic - probably would (dunno, Park? Drive? mode). Also your response time to shifts is faster without over-revving. If you want to overtake a truck (lorry), say, who's dawdling in front of you, and there's a guy coming up fast behind on the lane you want to be in, shove it in 4th or 3rd and floor it, the pull away is much more responsive than anything automatic. Just my experience (27 years driving)
Grant Barke 4 years ago
Maybe you need a new battery and or alternator. No, you cant push start an automatic.
Load More Replies... Pungent Sauce 4 years ago
I drive a 13 speed manual for work. I just got a new(er) car, and an AT is the best thing ever invented.
Grant Barke 4 years ago
Or buy a car with tiptronic gearbox and enjoy automatic or clutchless manual. Win win.
Mike Loux 4 years ago
It's what I learned on, and on a nice curvy country road, with a sporty little stick, it can be a lot of fun to really work through the gears and absolutely enjoy a nice drive. But most of the time I am totally fine with letting the car do the work for me. ESPECIALLY in traffic.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
I like stirring the petrol and I get bored when I can't shift. I shift from 4 to 5 to 6 and back again for the fun of it.
Pat Bond 4 years ago
More of an age thing I'd say. As youngsters we all learn manual in the UK. I used to love bombing around in my Renault 5 GT Turbo. Now I'm middle aged I love the refined automatic gearbox in my benz and wafting to my next destination in comfort, the thought of changing gears now is too much effort.
Igor914624 4 years ago
I have both auto and manual cars. For driving enjoyment, I prefer the manual transmission. For just commuting I prefer the manual. Even today's sports cars are faster with an automatic. But I am not getting paid to race, so I prefer to row the box myself.
#47
I'm not competitive and it drives a lot of guys nuts. It's like they want me to be devastated when they do better than me at something. I just don't see any point to it especially if there is no money or tangible prize involved. This actual presented itself as a bothersome problem at work. I was #1 in the all the numbers for like half a year. My boss wanted me to egg people on to beat me but I just couldn't find it in me to do. I didn't care and it's not like the numbers were directly helping me in any way. I'm sure the other guys were doing their best, if they needed help I was down to help plus I'm sure most of it was luck. He had me give a "speech" in front of everyone and the first thing he asked was "what do you do better than anyone else here?" it turned into me complimenting everyone individually on what they do better than me and what I've learned from them. Recently someone got around to beating me in survey results and you'd think the dude won the lotto he was so happy. I was happy he was happy but it didn't bother me at all that he beat me
Valisbourne Spiritforge 4 years ago
The attitude of being first or being nothing is just wrong. It's harmful in so many ways. And it permeates the US from the top to the bottom. What's wrong with just doing well? Or your best? Or being competent?
Mike Loux 4 years ago
I think the only real place for that kind of competition is something like the Olympics, where the whole point is to be the absolute best in the world at what you do. I mean, there's nothing wrong with a friendly competition, but the guy who finally beat OP, above, seemed to be anything but friendly, and I have to agree with OP, here. Also, it sounds like OP is in sales, so their boss doesn't care about who wins, they just want everyone to sell more, because PROFIT. And that is its own problem.
Thorfin Wolfsbane 4 years ago
mindless and pointless competitiveness is also known as American Politics.
#48
Using social media is detrimental to your health, especially as a man. The constant pressure to be a better you with every passing day combined with the vicarious living of others through social media is a recipe for suicidal and/or homicidal tendecies. Maybe thats a bit extreme, but it definitely could hurt any man's confidence and brew self hatred.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
I'm on BP a lot. I don't feel any pressure to be better, but that must be because I know I'm simply the best. My wife told me so and she knows all.
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
Not for everyone, some of us just don't give a s**t about what others think, and it's a wonderful thing.
#49
That looking at women from work on social media and commenting on their bodies in a lustful way is not okay. They dress conservatively around you for a reason.... Honestly men/women in the workplace become genderless to me.... In the way of sexualizing. I get it though, some people lust hard.
#50
Men are easy to hang out with. As a guy I feel like the only way to hang out with a guy is to go to his house and drag him out or force myself into a group of guys while girls are more welcoming and say yes more easily if the offer is reasonable but I feel out of place being the only or a small minority of guys. I have no idea where you can find guys who are fun to be around like the guys you see on YouTube and don't have to be drunk to have fun.
Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
The guys on YT are acting. They are unlikely to be so bubbly and happy in real life.
Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
exactly, they are fake and trying to sell you something.
Load More Replies... Karl Baxter 4 years ago
Most of my best friends are women. Much more fun to be with and a lot less uptight.
aj B 4 years ago
Honestly it's a matter of finding similar interests and getting out and about into them and ignoring gender at that point. Problem is many guys hide their interests because they aren't, well take your pick, manly, adult, good, or some other form of enough. However find your interest, go experience it in a group setting and you'll find these kinds of guys.
#51
its ok to complain and express discontent. it helps process your struggles Edit: if you play the tape of your negative thoughts until the end, you can consciously reflect on them. Not to complain like a spoiled child or an adult who is never happy, but with purpose. Men keep bottling things up and it harms them psychologically. Edit2: conversely, women are very good at expecting to receive compassion when they complain, so they feel validated and can heal and move on from what bothers them faster instead of developing drinking/drug/video game addictions
#52
Men's shorts are too long, You shouldn't be skittish about showing some thigh.
Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago
I.e. you want to see mens' thighs. It's a fashion thing, shorts got longer around the 90s and we thought they looked better so it stayed. PS, your username, nah...
Ellis Reed 4 years ago
These comments showcase how different Bored Panda is from Reddit, which is funny because they rip 80% of their articles directly from Reddit. Outlandish usernames are super common over there.
Pungent Sauce 4 years ago (edited)
You should wear what makes you comfortable, regardless of gender, society, or somebody’s opinion on the Internet.
#53
Video games are dumb af and a huge waste of time…
Mike Loux 4 years ago
Definitely disagree with this one. Although there is a lot of toxicity around the online shooter culture (Call of Duty, etc), which might be what this user is aiming at...or not. I prefer offline open-world type games (been playing Skyrim for years), and I think they can be a great way to unwind at the end of a stressful day.
Scagsy 4 years ago (edited)
I find it therapeutic to immerse myself in a game for a couple of hours. The way games are these days (some of the VR ones are amazing) they take your mind off things for a while and allow you a bit of peace from intrusive thoughts, mainly because they need your total concentration and manual dexterity.
similarly 4 years ago
I like video games more than TV. TV is very passive. I just sit and watch. Also, I came from a family that didn't talk during movies and TVs (SHHHHH! I can't hear!). So it wasn't a social experience anyway. In video games, I'm actively moving, making decisions, and in multiplayer, interacting with other people.
#54
People shouldn't have to work for a living. It's fine if you want to, and there's no reason why we can't have jobs where people who want to do them can earn large amounts of money doing so, but there's no point whatsoever in having a society in which everyone is expected to work, and materially punished when they don't. Most jobs that exist don't add any value to society, and exist only because we have set up/inherited this infrastructure. If people want to be "freeloaders" then they should be supported by the state to live that way, where at least their basic material needs are met.
ZAPanda 4 years ago
try thevenusproject dot com ... it explains this in more detail.
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Donkey boi 4 years ago
I'm sorry, is the OP saying that we shouldn't have to do anything and just have everything handed to us, just because? Where does OP think that the things they want given to them come from?
aj B 4 years ago
They specified basic material. Which is pretty much food and housing, and assuming US anyways. The supposed inalienable rights are Life, Liberty, Pursuit of happiness. Dying from exposure or starvation, when both seem to have plenty of unused and wasted product (or are the companies that claim that blatantly lying and getting tax breaks for it) seems like it kind of violates the first one. Don't know about other states but this one has an endless supply of constructing more and more houses and apartments, while constantly having prior ones be for sale/rent.
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
That's the "freeloader" interpretation of a theory to tackle future unemployment. Since more and more jobs are automated there's a concern that somewhere in the near future a lot of people will never be able to get a job, simply because there aren't enough jobs for everyone willing to work. But that doesn't men that people should be free to tell the government that they decline to work and please send them their free money.
Erika 4 years ago
So... If we don't have enough jobs for everyone to work at one, we should only make the people who don't want the jobs have the jobs? Or the ones who don't have the jobs should die so we're back to parity? What exactly are you proposing here?
Load More Replies... otplus 4 years ago
Yeah because the state is not supported by everyone who pay taxes, i do support social security and benefit's, but this ridiculous.
ZAPanda 4 years ago
You think that's money you're earning? it's a number in a bank database, sent to you by the database of your employer's bank. there is no gold in a box somewhere. even if there was gold, it's only "valuable" because we agree it is valuable. physically gold's mostly useful to make computer circuits. other than that, no. So, if the US for example is a fiat currency - merely 'declared' to have value - what 'value' underlies it ? What is it "backed" by? It's an agreed token exchanged for goods, labour etc. The token itself is inherently only worth what it is declared to be worth or exchanged for. Hence: there's theoretically nothing stopping e.g. fed from releasing more cash to give people basic income. Google the phrase "quantitative easing" to see what I mean.
Load More Replies... MyOpinionHasBeenServed 4 years ago
I think I get where the OP is coming from because I get this thought about why people feel they have to do jobs they hate, spend all their time complaining about when they would rather be doing something else. It doesn't mean no one should work, but why not do something you love. There are a ton of careers that needlessly require an expensive degree or certificate, and decades of paying off student loans. If anything, post education should be free.
What do you think ?
Penny Fan 4 years ago
A couple of these say something like "I'm secure enough in my sexuality to..." can I just say that gay men are just as "manly" as hetero men? I don't like that any perceived lack of machismo is seen as gay. I've known some very macho gay men and one or two extremely camp straight men. Still men.
Something 4 years ago
Some should say "secure enough in my masculinity." The ones about complimenting or hugging other men are about sexuality, while the ones about flavored alcoholic beverages and such are about masculinity.
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Vicky Zar 4 years ago
I quite look upon the internet (and therefor Bored Panda) as international. Therefor generalised headlines like these always bug me.It's obvious that in this case US men are meant, but I wish the title would say so. Men in other societies are very different (as in: they are not afraid of their masculinity in the first place, so these thoughts are not as outlandish as they seam to be in the US). And if you do not believe this of Europe, then sure you must do so in cases of vastly different cultures, like some asian ones.
Tami 4 years ago
Glad to see this kind of thinking. BTW there's a great site, "The Art of Manliness" that has a refreshing take on how to be a man with lots of good ideas and advice. I stumbled across it and thought WTF is this macho crap, but was pleasantly surprised by the content. And I'm a woman!
Jaybird3939 4 years ago
I don't think every guy watches, or enjoys, porn. It seems to have fostered a great many odd ideas in some men about what sex actually entails. I would hope most men would enjoy "making love" rather than "pounding the meat".
René Studer 4 years ago
I got bored with going to the gym, so I was interested in taking a pole fitness class as it seems like a fun way to get in shape. They said its a woman only class and offered me private lessons instead but that would have been way to expensive for me.
Penny Fan 4 years ago
A couple of these say something like "I'm secure enough in my sexuality to..." can I just say that gay men are just as "manly" as hetero men? I don't like that any perceived lack of machismo is seen as gay. I've known some very macho gay men and one or two extremely camp straight men. Still men.
Something 4 years ago
Some should say "secure enough in my masculinity." The ones about complimenting or hugging other men are about sexuality, while the ones about flavored alcoholic beverages and such are about masculinity.
Load More Replies... Vicky Zar 4 years ago
I quite look upon the internet (and therefor Bored Panda) as international. Therefor generalised headlines like these always bug me.It's obvious that in this case US men are meant, but I wish the title would say so. Men in other societies are very different (as in: they are not afraid of their masculinity in the first place, so these thoughts are not as outlandish as they seam to be in the US). And if you do not believe this of Europe, then sure you must do so in cases of vastly different cultures, like some asian ones.
Tami 4 years ago
Glad to see this kind of thinking. BTW there's a great site, "The Art of Manliness" that has a refreshing take on how to be a man with lots of good ideas and advice. I stumbled across it and thought WTF is this macho crap, but was pleasantly surprised by the content. And I'm a woman!
Jaybird3939 4 years ago
I don't think every guy watches, or enjoys, porn. It seems to have fostered a great many odd ideas in some men about what sex actually entails. I would hope most men would enjoy "making love" rather than "pounding the meat".
René Studer 4 years ago
I got bored with going to the gym, so I was interested in taking a pole fitness class as it seems like a fun way to get in shape. They said its a woman only class and offered me private lessons instead but that would have been way to expensive for me.
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