YTA and this is the form guide for turning your kids into a karen

My parents loved to pull the "we provide you food and shelter" card pretty much my entire life. So I was constantly anxious and guilty and learned how to fawn to keep them from yelling at me (which generally meant letting my younger sister take whatever she wanted from my room, including cash I'd earned if she happened to find it). They now claim they don't understand why I have PTSD from my childhood and they don't understand why my sister has no boundaries and takes whatever she wants from anyone.

Guess who he's gonna go no contact with at 18, and no invite to his wedding. And YTA and your bratty 8 year old.

It's time to teach your child that she A) is not entitled to other people's stuff and while she can ask they have every right to say no b) can't tantrum her way out of any unpleasant situation.

Now, the younger child believes she is entitled to things her brother buys. She will be going through his things and demanding stuff all the time under threat of you'll get in trouble if you don't give it to me. The boy also believes those are the terms, this his upset, not just over a little candy but over being allowed no personal property. To fix it she will need to tell both children she f'd up and hold a firm line with the girl for a while. If she doesn't, he will be out of her house and out of her life as soon as possible and the relationship is toast. Might seem small to her but these things matter.

Sounds like OP is applying to the Evil Stepmother club. All the kids are minors. It's her legal obligation to buy them food. That one of those minors acquires some food on his own doesn't change OPs obligation, nor does it mean that child assumes some of the parenting duties.

forcing someone to share something is not teaching them how to share, it's teaching them that parents are allowed to bully their children. and BTW, "we buy groceries with OUR money so we can use the same logic" ... uh no. you are the parent and are RESPONSIBLE for providing those things for your children.

OP is TA. Her argument that she and her husband shop for groceries that her stepson eats is ridiculous. Food you buy for meals is a necessity. Snacks are a luxury. OP spends his own money on his snacks so they're his to share as he pleases.

As the oldest of 5 (by a 10 year difference) my entire life has been shared with my siblings. For the most part I don't mind, when I buy things for myself, I usually get them in expectation that I'll share with my siblings, but they never assume that I will be sharing with them. Unless I have told them they can have something, it will usually sit right where it was left until someone asks about it. Our new thing right now is Capri Sun, I like to take them in my work lunch because I'm an adult and a juice pouch at work makes me happy, I buy 3 boxes every two weeks and said just leave me enough for work. When they put them in the fridge they had separated out 8 specifically for me and even after all theirs were gone and I'd have extra on a day when I forgot to take one to work with me they weren't touched. If she wanted the older sibling to share she should have given him a reason too, like teaching the young one to respect boundaries so that he wouldn't feel the need to hoard his snack

YTA. Parents are LEGALLY required to provide adequate food, shelter, and clothing for their children. It is by no means the same as a 17-year-old buying candy, snacks, and games with money they earned or was given to them. Way to go, Evil Stepmother; you screwed up big time. I can see it now: when Bratty Stepsister has a birthday or Christmas is here, Stepbrother will have no gift for her? Why? Because it's the parents' responsibility, of course. Stepbrother buys his own car, but won't take Stepsister anywhere; after all, she didn't finance the vehicle or pay for gas. Playing favorites with children is a recipe for disaster. Once the stepson moves out, he'll have little to no reason to return. Dad was right in calling his wife out about catering to her kid; she's a Harpy-In-Training.

Sounds like she just wanted her daughter to get the candy so she'd shut up and not get the baby anymore upset than she had with her crying. She's definitely TA. Not just because she couldn't explain to her daughter that what her stepson bought was his and he doesn't need to share but because she also chose to give the daughter what she wanted instead of actually being a mindful parent to all involved smh. Shameful

Yes, Wicked Step-Mother, YTA. I don't know why you even needed to ask.

YTA. Another example of people who shouldn't be having children - and now she has 2. Great way to raise more entitled brats for society to have to deal with. 🙄

That’s so messed up. You forced your stepson to handover something he had gotten for himself through honest hard work just because you didn’t want to parent your 8 year old. You’re like a school bully making kids hand over their stuff with threats. Your 8 year old can spend her OWN money (or yours) if she wants candy. You stole from him because it took any effort off you to deal with a kid he has zero responsibility for but you do. Comparing his rarely enjoyed treats with daily basic food your legally required to give the dependants iincluding him in your household is a pathetic move. No wonder your daughter is an immature brat with no ability to self regulate, she gets that from her mom. Replace his candy immediately and apologize.

For en dårlig forelder hun er, har selv både voksne og små barn og de minste vet fra barnehage alder forskjellen på mitt og ditt.

My son is 2 and I am teaching him that concept that he doesn't get everything he wants. My daughter is about to be 21 my SIL is about to be 23. They have a 7month old. They are my son's godparents as well. I buy groceries for us and them to help out since my daughter is still in school. If they buy something I tell them if they don't want to share with him don't let me know what it is he wants do not give into him. I don't like giving my son candy he can have 1piece a week. He has fruit snacks freezie pops jello fruit and veggies. I will have them give him one of those instead. My daughter and SIL gives him stuff I don't when he's out with them but I will never use I buy food for them for them to give into my son. Kids always want what they see. If she never was nosey she would have never known he had candy and would have never asked for any. Nobody have to give anything to anybody's child. I don't care how old they are, or what you do for them. That is your choice and the child is you

Life lesson skipped over 😒 Sharing is Caring but No means No. No whining No crying if the other person doesn't want to share.

You are the worst kind of parent. YTA

No one mentioned the 8yo rooting through his stuff. Boundaries.

My rule has always been simple: If big brother is going to eat a treat in a common area he has to share. If he stores and eats personal treats in his room they are off limits. This prevents teasing. However, I'm blessed with a big brother who buys his little brother snacks almost every paycheck. Don't know how that happened. I should add little brother is not allowed to go into Big brother's room and demand treats.

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NTA. You taught your stepson a very valuable lesson: don't marry someone you might get divorced to after having a kid.

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All these stories convince me is all this "blended family" stuff is c**p.

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Step mom did not handle that well . Having said that neither did the teen. What child doesn't want some candy. Dont be flaunting what you have in front of an 8 yr old. Yes she needs to learn the word no brother needs to learn to be kind to his younger siblings.

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She was wrong in her approach & solution, but that 17 yo is an AH, too. He knew he had candy he wasn't willing to share, then let the 8 yo go through it just to say 'no, cause it's mine.' How about a discussion first that attempts to encourage an empathetic approach from the teenager so he can grow a little?

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I'm gonna say EAH. OP is an AH for forcing the teenager to share. Teenager was an AH for not sharing. 8yo was an AH for whining about not getting her way. Dad was an AH for blowing up about it to the mom. Pretty much the baby is only one in the clear here.