i can't be the only one who vaguely misses 2020, in a weird sort of way. edit: the amount of people upvoting this is sad, i'm sorry so many people are so stressed with life right now. stay safe, i love you all, try to prioritize yourselves 🩵

Learning about America's health policies, education policies, cost of livelihood gave me nightmares, BRO WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PAY A THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR AN AMBULANCE????

The groaning of even trying to achieve a squat would do me in.

My grandmother flew spitfires. That's pretty cool thing to find out.

but did you put it in rice

Every. Damn. Day.

biatchhhhhhhhh imma cry wherever i wanna cry

I was all hyped up & then not so much 🙃

yeah it think they burned em like witches

Hahahaaaaaa!

the stress i felt from procrastinating that task for so long overrode any joy i would feel from completing it, sorry

Crises upon crises (unrelated but crises is such a weird word)

And you can't get up from one and go back to sleep in the other.

New Gig work opportunity - "Mobile valet" Like uber, but you summon a valet, who gets dropped off at your destination, takes your car, and drives around Toronto or finds a parking space until you message them, then meets you, hands your car back, and charges you $25 per hour. Valets have QR badges you scan when you give them your keys. You get a $2 per hour discount if you select to let them pick up and drop off other valets to gigs with your car during your booked window. For an additional fee, they can take your car to be washed, and/or detailed, charge the battery and drop off your drycleaning. The evening service includes a "Drive me home" option for drinkers, where the valet drives you home in your own car and gets collected by an uber. It's cheaper than downtown parking, a door to door service, and you never have to look for a parking space again.

I wouldn't argue, give me seventeen wishes please

Connecting flights. Not everyone is flying to Cincinnati. Many of them are flying beyond Cincinnati. "Beyond Cincinnati" is the name of my new work in progress post-apocalypse novel.

“Hey, I think they fell for it!”

yes. this needs to be higher really. they're just convection ovens.

Oh my Godness sake 🎶Girl you know it's true🎵

The cute kitten pfp is just a cover up😂

but how will you benefit capitalism then? /s

Mine already did....

After reading “Dean’s Big Book of Answers” I cried when I didn’t understand how many years it was going to be before the Sun exploded, thinking it was going to be sooner. I don’t know if I would be as upset now!

as long as you use your turn signal

Not about the specifics of friendship, just that those “friends” happen to be people

Nailed it!

One reason for this is because people in the past could not predict bad weather the way we can now, and one major reason for all the sunken ships is because they kept going through that area during hurricane season. They have about 6 hurricanes a year, usually between June and November

I was going to say Robin Williams, but good answer!

haha we're all screwed jolly good

👁👄👁

only half? so lucky

So, cold cereal it is.

Saving this one

La di da at least yours has a sophisticated accent

“If he watches Friends reruns one more time, Imma lose it.” (I proceed to watch another Friends rerun, wondering why I’m hearing screaming from the bushes outside).

Someone has clearly been taking the Mickey out of him!

~~~ Let us be lovers we'll marry our fortunes together ~~ I've got some real estate here in my bag

✨dissociation✨

My fun fact at one team building thing was "I work at the library" which would have been a super fun fact, if it wasn't a library staff team building thing.

So, heres my fun fact about me. You know, sometimes when I'm... Oh, wait, have you ever... No, never mind. Anyway, socks, right? They're like... But back to the point, did you... Well, actually, forget about that. So, goldfish... Oh, wait, did I mention... Um, never mind.

Say something like, "I am a researcher from another planet. My mission is to spend a human length lifetime among you observing your behavior. The information I report will determine the future of your species." Pause for two beats, then say, "So far, it's not looking good."

"I despise these types of icebreakers."

Luckily I had some warning of this, so I could think of something good but actually true

Make that fun fact something completely out of pocket. They can't verify if it's true or not, so make it crazy but somewhat plausible for the best results.

The dental hygienist asked me what I did for fun and I said (everybody can join in) I don't have any fun. She was taken aback so I said I garden. Lots of fun, I know.

None of my facts are all that fun, actually.

There are no facts about me

This.

So relatable. Just cried about that very thing this week.

Then they're doing a s**t job cos unhappy leads to unalive for lots of us.

Fun fact male bees have no father but do have a grandfather

Its important to have lots of glasses with water around, in case of aliens

Finals week or my final week, stay tuned.

Yes, punished for being competent.