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164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine’s Day

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If every song is inherently about love, then finding a joke dedicated to this chemical brain reaction is far rarer. But we did it! We have scoured the Internet, checked every thread and every post, and found enough funny material to dedicate a complete list to adorable love jokes. And you know what, it’s right on time for Valentine’s day, so you might just have the perfect source for greeting card inspiration in front of your very own eyes.

So, the things you are about to find on this list are: the cutest jokes on bees meeting their honey, the silliest pick-up lines, the most adorable puns on doctors having crushes, and, of course, some healthy satire on the institution of marriage. So really, a love joke for any occasion, any Valentine’s Day plans, and even for those who aren’t paired up at this instant. Alas, with the help of these silly jokes, who knows, you might just attract someone’s attention!

And while we know that some of you cringe the very hardest upon seeing anything sweet or cute, we can bet that these love jokes will make even the iciest heart thaw at least a tiny bit. If you are still determined to prove us wrong, though, try and read this article without uttering any ‘awwws’ and ‘oooohs’ even in the solitude of your cranium. If you honestly succeed, our bows are deserved, but if not - a ‘we told you so’ might be issued. Well, anyway, let’s just go to the silly jokes and check them out for ourselves, shall we? Of course, don’t forget to vote for the love jokes that made you squeal with joy and share this article with your loved ones (even if it’s a cat).

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#1

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day My friends laughed at me when I said I had a hot date and said that she was imaginary.

The joke is on them, though. They’re imaginary, too.

33points

Rose Romano 2 years ago

I hate to admit this, but I can relate.

6points

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#2

If I ever have a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s.

It’s never been used.

31points

Oak Ruiz 2 years ago

Damn.

3points

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#3

I’m in a long distance relationship. My girlfriend is in the future.

28points

DUN DUN 2 years ago

Lightyears away?

5points

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#4

A relationship without trust is like a phone without service. And what do you do with a phone without service? You play games.

28points

DUN DUN 2 years ago

Let;'s play You're it!

8points

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#5

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day When one satellite dish falls in love with another, what’s the best part of the wedding?

The reception.

27points

Vicky Z 2 years ago

At least this wedding will be interesting as long as I have my phone

2points

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#6

Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?

The calendar!

25points

DUN DUN 2 years ago

And who doesn't? ME!

18points

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#7

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

25points

#8

The T-Rex told his girlfriend, “I love you this much” as he stretched out his arms as far as he could.

His girlfriend said, “That’s not very much.”

24points

DUN DUN 2 years ago

That should be enough for you

5points

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#9

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day What do you call two ants sharing a slice of pizza in Italy?

Romance.

23points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago (edited)

Romance in many latin languages have a different meaning than english..it signifyes some glamourous Love between man n woman,like the story of Romeo n Juliet....not Just a vulgar TV soup Opera

2points

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#10

What happens when you fall in love with an encyclopedia?

You get in-fact-uated.

20points

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#11

My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

19points

DUN DUN 2 years ago

You can, but I'm compatible with Android, my soul mate

8points

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#12

My new girlfriend works at the zoo. I think she's a keeper.

19points

#13

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?

He'll dessert you.

18points

heystobit1231 2 years ago

He gave you up, he let you down, he ran around and desserted you

1point

#14

Did you hear about the porcupine who was near-sighted?

He fell in love with a pincushion.

18points

#15

What did the volcano say to express his love to his girlfriend?

He said, “I lava you so much!”

18points

DUN DUN 2 years ago

THERE IS A DISNEY SONG "LAVA" ON THIS IDEA! WATCH/LISTEN IT RN!!!

10points

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#16

Don't break anybody's heart; they only have one. Break their bones; they have 206.

18points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

Yeahhh,that.s what Ana Condas do when embrancing some lovers

2points

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#17

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day Why did the soccer player dislike Valentine’s Day?

He hated getting red cards.

17points

#18

Had a nice long chat with my husband today after our WI-FI went down.

He seems like a nice guy.

17points

#19

How do tightrope walkers find romance?

Online dating!

16points

#20

What did the octopus say to its octopus crush?

“I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.”

16points

Annie Bieber 2 years ago

👾👾👾

0points

#21

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day My wife thinks I don’t respect her privacy enough. At least, that’s what it says in her diary.

16points

Crazy Dubagay 2 years ago

Lol

2points

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#22

Do you like vegetables because I love you from my head tomatoes.

16points

Kai 2 years ago

tomatoes are fruits though aren't they?...

1point

#23

I'm trying to date a philosophy professor, but she doesn't even know if I exist or not.

15points

#24

Let's commit the perfect crime together. I'll steal your heart and you can steal mine.

15points

#25

Spouse #1: "I love you."

Spouse #2: "Is that you or the wine talking?"

Spouse #1: "It's me. Talking to the wine."

15points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

N I Love wine more than humans lovers...they satisfy my inner ego above all

1point

#26

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day They say that when you meet the right person, you know immediately. So how come when you meet the wrong person it takes a year and a half?!

15points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

Then it s a no...no..for remainder of life

1point

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#27

Being in a relationship is just yelling "WHAT?" from different rooms for thirty years and then you die.

15points

#28

They keep saying the right person will come along.

I think mine got lost.

14points

LaKalynn Galloway 2 years ago

or their just left....

1point

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#29

My girlfriend just told me that she didn’t care what she got for Christmas, as long as it had diamonds in it.

Looks like somebody’s getting a pack of cards.

14points

#30

Why is Spider-Man the perfect boyfriend?

Because he’ll always stick beside you.

14points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

But beware of a Black Window spiderwoman

2points

#31

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!

14points

Vic 2 years ago

it goes from there to "I find your lack of faith disturbing" pretty quickly..

3points

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#32

What happens when your boyfriend pokes you in the eye?

You stop seeing him for a while.

14points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

'Cause he been arrested for assault, a very common crime nowdays..hoje he stays in jail for a loooong time

1point

#33

We're not socks. But I think we'd make a great pair.

13points

DUN DUN 2 years ago

If we're not socks, we can't lose each other too! Yay!

7points

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#34

What did the light bulb say to the switch?

“You turn me on.”

13points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

Or off..

3points

#35

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day What do you get when you kiss a dragon?

Burnt lips.

13points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

When u Kiss a frog it becomes an enchanting bonde young prince...but if the animal is a Dragon it will digest you entirely

2points

#36

Sorry if this is extra cheesy, but you have a pizza my heart.

13points

#37

The secret to a successful long-term relationship is the ability to laugh at the same joke 3,682,000 times.

13points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

Hahhhhhhhhhh...lol..but I will stop here, I do not wish that level of sucesso,defitly

2points

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#38

What did one little flame say to the other?

“We’re a perfect match.”

12points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

We are consuming ourselves with a burning Love passion

1point

#39

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

12points

#40

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day I always wanted to marry an Archeologist. The older I would get, the more interested she would become!

12points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

But archeologists Love always terminate in ruins

2points

#41

Why is it annoying to date a chef?

Because you get roasted too much!

12points

#42

What is it like to date a dentist?

They’ll always make you smile.

12points

#43

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl, who?
Owl always love you!

12points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

Well, you own me that too

0points

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#44

What do you call a pair of spiders that just tied the knot?

Newly-webs.

12points

#45

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day Never laugh at your girlfriend's choices. You're one of them.

11points

#46

How do you make a crush notice you if they don't believe in love at first sight? You pass by them again.

11points

#47

What did one boat say to the other? Are you up for a little row-mance?

10points

#48

Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.

10points

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#49

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day I like to show my girlfriend who's the boss in our house. I do this by holding a mirror up to her face.

10points

#50

What happens when you date a girl whose ex-boyfriend was a clown?

You get some big shoes to fill.

10points

#51

Even if there wasn't gravity on earth, I'd still fall for you.

10points

kristina law 2 years ago

These are so adorable lol corny and cheesy yes.But still cute!

2points

#52

Just went on a date with a welder.

Man, were the sparks flying!

10points

#53

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day I just saw two zombies on a date.

And they say romance is dead.

10points

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#54

What did the snake say to his girlfriend?

“Give me a little hiss.”

10points

#55

My girlfriend is the square root of -100.

She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.

10points

#56

Why is it difficult to impress the police? Because they don’t like anyone who steals hearts.

10points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

Só what? Robbers are yet worse ,one of these rascalls ran away after getting my necklace Gold chain with a pure 24 karats small heart attached to that

-1point

#57

Confucius says "Love one another. If it doesn’t work, just interchange the last two words."

10points

#58

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day I once fell in love with a girl who only knew 4 vowels. She didn’t know I existed.

10points

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#59

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” She replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”

10points

#60

Which song do sunflowers listen to when their girlfriend goes to work?

“Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone.”

9points

#61

Why is it risky to date a photographer?

Because you might get shot.

9points

#62

Why shouldn’t you date a poet?

Because they might go from bad to verse.

9points

#63

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day What is the worst thing about dating astronauts?

They don’t like to give you any space.

9points

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#64

I'm single by choice. Unfortunately, it's not my choice.

9points

Laura Probst 2 years ago

Story of my life.

1point

#65

I just ended a long-term relationship today. I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.

9points

#66

LOVE stands for Loss Of Valuable Energy.

9points

Sky Render 2 years ago

I thought it stood for Level Of ViolencE.

0points

#67

A husband was throwing knives at his wife’s photo and missing the target. All of a sudden, she called to ask what he was doing. His reply was, “I am missing you.”

9points

#68

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day My partner asked to play doctor…

So I kept him waiting outside the bedroom for three hours!

9points

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#69

What's the difference between love and marriage?

Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.

8points

#70

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

8points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

Relationships are equations that never equalizes

1point

#71

I must be a snowflake because I've fallen for you.

8points

#72

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day What happens when you fall in love with a chef?

You get buttered up.

8points

#73

What did the squirrel say to his lover?

“I’m nuts about you!”

8points

#74

Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend?

He was losing interest.

8points

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#75

My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters... But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk".

8points

#76

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day What do you call it when two nachos fall for each other?

A relation-dip.

8points

#77

Do you know what happened when one girl fell in love with a mechanic? Their relationship had a breakdown.

8points

#78

How does it feel to date a deep-sea diver?

You drown in their love.

8points

#79

What did the mobile phone say to the Wi-Fi router?

“I think I feel a special connection between us.”

8points

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#80

Wife: “Do you want dinner?”
Husband: “I don’t know. What are my choices?”
Wife: “Yes or no.”

8points

#81

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day When you are in love, it is the most glorious two and a half days of one’s entire life.

8points

#82

Your name must be Autumn, because I’m fall-ing hard for you.

8points

#83

The difference between true love and dinosaurs: We're sure that dinosaurs once existed on this earth.

8points

#84

Why should you never marry a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them!

8points

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#85

How do you tell your boyfriend that your relationship isn’t working out?

You stop going to the gym with him.

8points

#86

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day What's common between a girlfriend and an X-ray machine?

Both can see right through you.

8points

#87

What do you call your girlfriend if she doesn’t text you when she gets home?

Homeless.

8points

#88

Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?

Yes, it is February 14th.

8points

#89

My husband is of the opinion that I am absolutely crazy. But if he is the one who decided to get married to me, then that makes him even crazier than I am.

8points

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#90

Love is in the air? What about the Oxygen!

8points

#91

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day When do bees like to get married?

When they find their honey.

7points

#92

You are like dandruff because I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.

7points

#93

Why should you never break up with a goalie?

Because he is a keeper.

7points

#94

What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?

Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.

7points

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#95

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day What happened when the two vampires went on a blind date?

It was love at first bite.

7points

#96

What do you call two birds in love?

Tweet-hearts!

7points

#97

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore, who?
Eyesore do love you a lot.

7points

#98

If I were a transplant surgeon, I'd give you my heart.

7points

#99

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day Which is the best season for bed bugs to get married?

The spring.

7points

#100

Why do painters always fall for their models?

Because they love them with all of their art.

7points

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#101

What did one light bulb say to the other?
I love you watts and watts.

7points

#102

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and me together.

6points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

Y ?????

1point

#103

Do you know why the Queen of Hearts married the King of Hearts?

Because they were utterly suited for each other.

6points

#104

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day Why did the baseball player have trouble dating?

He always had a hard time getting to first base.

6points

#105

What did the astronaut’s girlfriend say to him when he proposed in outer-space?

“I can’t breathe!”

6points

Bacony Cakes 2 years ago

I think this joke stopped being funny in 2020.

0points

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#106

What was the stamp’s way of confessing his love for the envelope? He said, “I’m stuck on you!”

6points

#107

My girlfriend left me because she couldn’t handle my OCD.

I told her to close the door five times on her way out.

6points

#108

What kind of architecture makes people fall in love?

Heart deco.

6points

#109

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day Why did the man accuse his wife of robbery?

She stole his heart.

6points

#110

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are.

But, I laugh more.

6points

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#111

What did the Australian zoologist do with his sweetheart?

Spend koala-ty time together.

6points

#112

Why did the square break up with the circle?

She wasn’t edgy enough.

6points

#113

What do you call two rabbits in bed?

Snuggle-bunnies.

6points

#114

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day What do you call a pair of fish?

Sole-mates.

6points

#115

You’re like asthma because you take my breath away.

6points

#116

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone?

That's your common sense leaving your body.

6points

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#117

My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that...

6points

#118

My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up." "Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."

6points

#119

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day What did the lung say to his girlfriend?

“You take my breath away!”

6points

#120

A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more than twice a week.

6points

#121

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

6points

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#122

I had a one night stand last year that went horribly wrong.

We’re married now.

6points

#123

My wife keeps telling me that I’m the cheapest person she has ever met in her life. I’m not buying it.

6points

#124

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day What type of ship has two mates but no captain?

A relationship.

6points

#125

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

Sure, they're very scent-imental!

6points

#126

I think my girlfriend has a blind fetish. Last night she said we should stop seeing each other.

6points

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#127

The hardest part of any relationship is when it's not your turn to talk.

6points

#128

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?

It was the icing on the cake.

6points

#129

Are you from Starbucks?

Because I like you a latte.

6points

#130

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Juno.
Juno, who.
Juno that you're the love of my life?

6points

#131

Are you a banana?

Because I find you a peeling.

6points

#132

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day Love is not having to hold in your gas anymore.

6points

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#133

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?

6points

#134

Why did she fall for the high-fat, low-carb diet?

Because it was the keto her heart the whole time.

6points

#135

Why is Elvis Presley sentimental?

Because he can’t help falling in love with you.

6points

#136

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day I used to date a girl that reported the weather. We’d have a stormy relationship.

6points

#137

Are you a florist? Because ever since I met you, my life has been rosy.

6points

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#138

Women are like telephones. They love to be held. They love to be talked to. But, if you press the wrong button, you’re disconnected.

6points

#139

Love is a very complex matter of chemistry. And that is why my partner treats me like toxic waste!

6points

Bacony Cakes 2 years ago

lol wife bad - Boomers

0points

#140

How did the telephone propose to its girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

5points

#141

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day What's the difference between love and marriage? Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.

5points

Nilce nice Bizancio 2 years ago

Love in the beggining is Just like a delicious lollypop but when marriages arrives it ends up as a stick

0points

#142

What does the ghost call his true love?

My ghoul-friend.

5points

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#143

What did the hopeless romantic baker say to his dough?

I knead you!

5points

#144

What happened when the candle went dating?

It found the perfect match.

5points

#145

Why did the melons get married in a church?

They cantaloupe.

5points

#146

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day The funniest joke of all time is my love life.

5points

#147

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

5points

#148

Why do men believe in love at first sight?

It saves them a ton of money.

5points

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#149

How do you get a banker to fall in love with you?

Pique their interest.

5points

#150

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day My parents won't say which of their six kids they love the best, but they have told me I finished just out of the top five.

5points

#151

What happens when two ropes fall head over heels for each other?

They tie the knot.

5points

#152

What do you call two raindrops who have fallen for each other? Rain-beaus.

5points

#153

What’s the best thing about dating an architect?

The foundation of the relationship is strong!

5points

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#154

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day How do you ask a foodie out on a date?

You say, “Lettuce meat for dinner.”

5points

#155

How do atoms know that they are falling in love?

They feel a strong force between each other.

5points

#156

What would the earth say to the sun if they started dating?

“My entire world revolves around you.”

5points

#157

What did Mr. Broom say to his wife?

“You absolutely swept me off my feet!”

5points

#158

I have been happily and blissfully married for 5 years… out of a total of 20.

5points

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#159

Why are artichokes so beloved?

They're known for their hearts.

5points

#160

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day Love is when I walk to the other side of the classroom to sharpen my pen just so I can see her. And then I realize that I am holding a pen.

5points

#161

I want to spend the rest of my life trying to get out of debt with you.

5points

Bacony Cakes 2 years ago

Funnyn't.

0points

#162

Why did the bartender get back with her boyfriend?

Because he kept asking for one more shot.

5points

#163

Why do brides cry at their wedding?

Because they can’t marry the best man.

5points

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#164

164 Corny Love Jokes That Are Right On Time For Valentine's Day Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.

4points

Saimonas Lukošius

Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts.

Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

What do you think ?

Bacony Cakes 2 years ago

JESUS F*CKING CHRIST IT'S JANUARY

2points

Zedrapazia 2 years ago

Why's that here? It's not Valentine's Day yet

2points

Bacony Cakes 2 years ago

JESUS F*CKING CHRIST IT'S JANUARY

2points

Zedrapazia 2 years ago

Why's that here? It's not Valentine's Day yet

2points

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