That's awful, I'm so sorry you went through that

Good thing you got out of that one!

It works like milking a cow: pressure on, pressure off. Only he's milking you for your energy. This is no New Age metaphor. It's the real deal; just look at yourself in the mirror and see how fast you've aged.

Good you got away, you would have ended up in the basement....

When you go get your stuff - don't go alone. Bring at least one other person, chances are they'll not show their true face if someone else is there. Going alone is unsafe.

Don't go alone. Even if you have to have just someone else on the phone with you. Take the police if you have to! This is a bad person! Try to go when they aren't there. Worst case, leave your stuff behind. Better than some of the outcomes I've seen/ been through.

Call the police and tell them you need an escort to get your things, and are afraid he will harm you. Do not underestimate this person, "probably wont" isn't worth risking your life!

leave your stuff... buy more stuff. Don't ever go back.

Don't say anything! Do not try and ask why or try to get a reason for what he did. Don't listen to a word he says if he's trying to sweet talk you. Or he's gonna get violent and dangerous which is what you should count on. Do not go alone, go with friends or family members that you trust. If you are too embarrassed then you go with the cops. He might try to keep your stuff as a way of controlling you, don't allow it. Take proof that you lived there to the police station, tell them what you said here, unfortunately sometimes the cops don't care. Talk to a higher up cop. Then cut all contact, change numbers and email if need be if blocking him doesn't work. Block private calls. There will be days when you feel like you really need some closure or you deserve an explanation and you are going to call him. Don't do it, have a plan in place for who you are going to call when those times happen. He showed you who he is, don't let him hurt you again

You don’t need to say anything. You just need to save your life, he’s sick. Run talk to the police don’t let him get any control over you

Yeah you need to leave

Do not I repeat do NOT go there alone prayers for you to get safely through this. ❤🙏🏻❤

I’m sorry but yeah it’s time to go. That’s how my 13 year abusive marriage ended. It’s scary but plan it out. It’s easier now. That’s what I would have told my younger self.

"DO NOT GO ALONE" is very good advice

I would say do not go back and get your stuff when he's there. Absolutely not! You don't need to explain anything, ever! If you must say something, keep it simple and don't get into a dialogue about it. Any dialogue about why you are leaving, is not a winning situation. It's just another effort to manipulate and control you. Know that you're not alone, and our desire for love has opened every one of us up to feeling like fools. So don't feel bad, but have a bit of happiness inside that you are getting out. Stay safe, and I hope he does not know where you're at.

Call the local police and have an officer or two meet you at the home to get your stuff. The police I've dealt with take the x outside and chat while you gather your stuff. If your x is stupid and threatens you he should get arrested.

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You can get the police to go back with you.... but you will only have a short time to grab everything.... I would do that.

Don't go to pack up alone. I would even have a police officer there. Also a male friend/family member. Be safe.

dont say anything. bring the police with you & get a restraining or protection order. please press charges!

Cut if off cold turkey. Don't take calls, texts, FB or anything else. I tried to break it off with a guy who was over the top. He threatened to kill himself if I didn't come back. I couldn't, I'd moved out of town (not because of him), and nothing happened.

Make sure you don’t tell him where you are moving to. Change your phone number and get another email address. Make social media accounts private. You will heal and not all relationships are this toxic. Your not alone.

Get someone to go with you, preferable the police or sheriff.

Run like hell away from the this toxic manipulator! Yale someone with you when you go to get your belongings, for safety’s sake!

Sometimes you realize too late that there is nothing you will ever say/not say right, ever do/not do right. Nothing is ever right

Do not go by yourself if possible. I'd recommend contacting the police and explaining the situation. They may be able to do a civil standby to get your belongings. I don't know how much you have there, but if you don't live together, it's worth considering letting whatever material possessions you have behind. Oh, and get a protection order or a no contact order. He's less likely to harass and possibly harm you if he knows he'll go to jail. I had to move across state to escape my abuser. Best thing I ever did for myself.

I would call the local police department and give them a heads up that you are going to pick up your things and you may have to call them to defuse an altercation.Bring reinforcements with you when you go.You may want to bring a can of mace or a razer just to be on the safe side. If you have a key maybe plan to go get your things while he is at work. Maybe park down the road and wait for him to leave. I would wait for about 15 minutes in case he possibly forgets something and comes back for it. Once you enter pack at lightning speed hopefully with a couple of people with you to expedite things.Very happy you are getting out of this toxic and dangerous relationship. I wish you all the best. If he harasses you request an order of protection against him.

File a PFA (Protection From Abuse) and have him served, so he will have to leave the residence. Law enforcement can serve him, but not all agencies will escort you to get your belongings. Take someone with you, make sure they have a phone available so 911 can be called, should something happen.

The OP didn't actually post this here - it's from Reddit. In any case, It sounds to me like the SO had a psychotic break. She should definitely go back only with somebody, or not even this. It doesn't mean that he's a manipulative sociopath, but it does mean that she should not go back unless she's with people who can help her if he becomes violent. Like with oxygen masks in airplanes - first help yourself, then see if there is anything you can do for them. If he turns out to be having a psychotic episode, she needs to decide if she's going to take responsibility for this, and build a plan that protects her too. If not, she should get far as possible, and never come near again.

Buy new stuff

Ask that he not be there when you go. Take male friends or family members with you when you go Take everything you need go quickly don’t linger.

Call the non emergency police number and explain you are trying to leave an abusive relationship and need a police escort to get your things safely. Most police departments will arrange to help you or refer you to domestic violence program that helps women escape and many of these groups have hidden safe houses if it's too dangerous for you to be alone right now.

If he hurt you, it's gone too far. Go with several people when you go to retrieve you belongings.

Please do not feel bad. He is a bad person. You did nothing wrong because you didn't know. You know better now. Please be safe.

CALL the police, let them know you just want to get your things. Just pack s few bags and leave the rest.

I had to have friends with me when I broke up with an ex. Then I foolishly went back and he tried to kill me...never go back. I had his bruised handprint around my throat for months. Along with others but that was the worst.

You poor poor thing... Just say I'm leaving this relationship is abusive and you are not respecting me. No matter what he says just leave.

Oh honey..

"Psychically hurt" you? Report the man to a medium! But seriously, if he's physically hurting you, that's bad. That being said, no one ever owes another person hugs and kisses. You two aren't working out. Bring another person with you to the house at a time you suspect your partner won't be home. Pack only your most essential things. And leave.

Get away from her. Now. My mother was the same way. She only showed affection and approval if I did something to please her, which wasn't very often. She was big on calling my sister and I names, belittling us in front of people and giving us the silent treatment. I was always too fat and was sent to Weight Watchers at 14yo. I was 5'4 and 130lbs at the time. It continued into my adult years. One day she told my 10yo daughter, "No offense, but I think you're gonna be the fat one of the family." I lit into her and didn't speak to her or let her see my kids for several years. Then I softened and let her come back around. It only took a short time before her real self started to show through, again. I separated her from my family and have never looked back. Save yourself. Go be happy! You DO NOT have to be around someone just because they gave birth to you!

Always trust your gut!

Many of these people are terrifically charismatic and that gets you going. After that he just had to use the Alfred Hitchcock approach: Show the scary thing once, and for the rest of the movie the audience is terrified by just imagining it.

I actively encourage my other half to go out with her friends. Sometimes she goes for a girly weekend! How else am I going to get some me time and have her come home smiling like the Cheshire cat?

Absolutely right about colleagues. So often the ones who are trying to find out something they can use against you later.

What I noticed here is how he would not accept your boundaries.

Tbh, on a first date, I'd cut the guy some slack. He sounds really nervous, infatuated, and worried that you won't like him. If you don't like him, then that's that. But a lot of people try to avoid arguments on a first date. If it continues by the third or the fourth date, then I'd be concerned.