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30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online My son was 3. We were leaving Target. He left my sight as I was adjusting my bags. Maybe two seconds, tops. Poof. He was gone. I try to act cool , but my true crime podcast obsession got the best of me. The store locks down. We are all looking for him. People are checking cars outside. I’m calling my son’s name louder than any intercom system. We were just about to call police.

And then my toddler slides out of the cart area and acts like,”’Sup?” He decided it would be a most excellent idea to shimmy underneath the carts and sit there as the world turns inside out searching for him.

I hugged him and yelled at him for a good 10 minutes, ugly sobbing.

100/100 grateful for my Target folks. We catered lunch for them as a huge thank you and sorry my kid is an a-hole.

Italics12 , Conny Sandland Report

Final score:

294points

POST

Emerald Ocean 2 years ago

I misread it and thought the kid came zooming by ON THE CART yelling Sup. I was laughing so hard. LOL

166points

nervousdonut , el cajon yacht club Report

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online When I was a kid my mom was watching me play while hanging laundry. When she turned to hang a garment I discovered a “bouncy spot” in the grass and fell down a 100ish year old abandoned well. She said that day took years off her life.

Final score:

293points

POST

Walking On Sunshine 2 years ago

Is that you baby Jessica?? That's terrifying!

142points

Shelbi S 2 years ago

You just made me snort!

19points

Kookamunga 2 years ago

I would like to know the ending of the story - did it end well?

34points

Jo Johannsen 2 years ago

You well be pun-ished for that.

27points

SilentBob731 2 years ago

Nope, the person who wrote the story died. It was a message from the other side.

13points

Vicky Z 2 years ago

Well said!!

4points

olx 2 years ago

i thought that log in the back was legs sticking out the ground 😭

22points

Dana Lynn 2 years ago

I scrolled back up to see what you meant!!! So worth it!!!!🤣🤣

11points

Elizabeth Sieben 2 years ago

While moving into a new house, toddler me got tired, went behind the couch and fell asleep. My mom freaked, called the cops, cried, then found me after I started snoring.....

14points

Glirpy 2 years ago

And now you fight crime dressed like a bat.

6points

Heather Menard 2 years ago

What's that Lassie Timmy fell in the well

5points

Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago

Oh well, it was bound to happen eventually.

4points

Mark Howell 2 years ago

You're not called Timmy and own a collie dog ?? ;o)

2points

Legend_Trooper 2 years ago

1point

StregAnna 2 years ago

Years ago, here in Italy, a little boy died this way :'( the tragic story of little Alfredino, who fell into a well, tore the whole country apart.

1point

Edamame 2 years ago

oh jeez

1point

Reyna Rudy Dharsono 2 years ago

I- Oh my god. Kinda like Alice in Wonderland, without a rabbit

0points

Anthony Admire 2 years ago

What Lassie... Timmy is stuck in a well!!!! Again... He'll wait until I finish laundry

0points

Alycia Fowler 2 years ago (edited)

Same thing happened in my yard! My kids were in the yard playing with their uncle and then suddenly their uncle was sunk down into the ground to his neck He is 6 foot 4. The whole section of the yard had been propped up by railroad ties. I never look at yards the same now. Who knows what the heck is under them lol

0points

catching_comets , Infrogmation of New Orleans Report

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online We moved into our new house on Halloween in 2001. Most of the heavy lifting was done, so the wife decided to begin unpacking the important stuff and I would take our 8 year old daughter out trick or treating. We stepped outside and I realized I left my phone.

Standing on the front porch I tell her..."Don't move, I have to get my phone. I'll be right back. Do not move."

Narrator: She moved.

New neighborhood. Kids and parents everywhere. I'm running up and down the street frantically and after about 15 minutes later I spot a family, mom and dad and a handful of rugrats...with mine in tow.

They had a good laugh telling me they just turned around and there she was, having appeared out of nowhere. Decided to stay close assuming some hysterical parent would eventually come running.

Final score:

261points

POST

Henry Russell 2 years ago

the same thing happened when my little sister who was like four walked out door and thankfully was found by a group of teenagers when my mom found her

69points

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online I glanced at the salt, and toddler daughter grabbed a whole new potato off my plate and shoved it in her mouth. She then tried to swallow it and choked. Longest 15 seconds on my life getting it out of her. Learn child first aid people! They are suicide machines as toddlers.

Mischeese , stu_spivack Report

Final score:

251points

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Andreas Zacho 2 years ago

Kamiru, I'm guessing you are a non-parent.

40points

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online It was 23 years ago, but still fresh in my mind.

I looked in my rearview mirror, and my son, in his car seat, was happily gazing out the window, gnawing on a chicken McNugget.

I hadn't been to McDonalds in weeks.

My memory is fresher than that Mcnugget was.

seattleite4 , GillyBerlin Report

Final score:

250points

POST

Frances M 2 years ago

All I can think of is the level of preservatives needed to keep that thing from turning green...

79points

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online I was making dinner for my twin 18mo when boy twin starts to fuss, so I carefully put the knife about a foot away from the edge of the counter. I intentionally put it away from the edge because my girl twin is NOT to be trusted. I go change my boy and turn around and my girl is casually holding my large, sharp chopping knife. I had to get it from her like a hostage negotiator so she wouldn’t run away with it. I couldn’t figure out how she got it so I looked at the video and as soon as my back was turned she was grabbing the cutting board to pull the knife closer and then immediately skipped over the carrots and peeler to grab the knife. I was clearly correct in not trusting that feral child

try_new_stuff , rick Report

Final score:

235points

POST

Jessica Rabbit 2 years ago (edited)

"I was clearly correct in not trusting that feral child" had me crying with laughter...

178points

Angelic_Demoness , César Rincón Report

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online My older brother was the kind of baby that would get into things if you didn’t pay attention to him for second and it drove my parents crazy. My aunt told my mom she was just a bad parent so my mom said “Ok then. You babysit him tomorrow when I’m at work.” The next day my aunt called my mom while she was work freaking out. There was white smoke coming from up stairs and it turned out that my brother got ahold of baby powder and was just going ham on it upstairs. After that my aunt apologised to my mom.

Final score:

230points

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Orange is aging 2 years ago

Never say that parent don’t know what they’re doing or are “bad parents” (unless they actually are). You probably don’t know the HALF of what their children do!

150points

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online She found some glitter

Selphis , Kate Ter Haar Report

Final score:

219points

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Frances M 2 years ago

🤣

73points

#10

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online Not me but my wife. Our two younger kids are 14 months apart. When our daughter was around 3 and our son was 2, my wife went into the garage to grab a frozen pizza out of the deep freezer and one of the kids, not sure which one, shut the door and locked my wife in the garage. She was banging on the door and could hear the little boogers in there laughing at her. My wife was not amused, she got a flathead screwdriver from my toolbox and manage to unlock the door. This all took 15 minutes or so, when she got in the house they were in their room watching cartoons and eating cookies they manage to steal. They would’ve left her out there all night. Its funny now 10 years later but my wife was scared s**tless. We have kept a spare key hidden in the garage ever since.

1980pzx , Newtown grafitti Report

Final score:

199points

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Kookamunga 2 years ago

Once I saw her screwdriver, I had to find a picture of the Mom.... giant-lady...f555e4.jpg

80points

#11

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online I was shopping in Sears with my son who was 4 years old at the time. I had to speak to one of the employees and I turned and he was gone in a matter of seconds.frantically calling his name, people are helping me look for him 10-15 minutes go by I'm crying I am extremely distressed of course and I hear a man calling and waving "over here over here " I run over to where he was and there is my 4-year-old sitting on a riding lawn mower that was on display making his vroom vroom noises, happy as a lark.

moogiemomm , Mike Mozart Report

Final score:

187points

POST

ForgotMyPWSendHelp 2 years ago (edited)

Can't help but be reminded that John Walsh's son Adam disappeared from a Sears around the same age. His partial remains were discovered several weeks later, and John Walsh went on to become a victim advocate and create the TV show America's Most Wanted. His personal tragedy has led to a lot of missing children being tracked and found and a lot of violent criminals being captured.

121points

#12

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online I had been drinking scotch one evening while doing dishes. So I'm standing at the sink. I hear my 3 year old stumble into the room, pull a chair out from the table and climb up. I'm not thinking anything of this until I hear a small voice say "Juice!" as I turn to watch him dump about 1/2oz of single malt into his mouth. This was immediately followed by a gasp, then he turned bright white, then bright red.

He went to bed early that night.

theservman , waferboard Report

Final score:

176points

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Caro Caro 2 years ago

Aaaand slept through the night and was quiet (hung over) the next day?

91points

Regular_Award_3200 , William Tung Report

#13

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online Getting ready for my first Christmas party at a company. It's a family affair. We all looked great. Hubby was already in the car, ran to the bedroom for something I forgot, we were running a little late. Ended up going to to the party with my 3 year old looking like a smurf because he thought my blue nail polish was "just like mommy's makeup". Still to this day don't know how he got the cap unscrewed because he's 10 now and can't open an already cracked bottle of water to save his life

Final score:

163points

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Emerald Ocean 2 years ago

Hahahahaha! The last sentence got me!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

118points

#14

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online Left my son at the kitchen counter while preparing pancakes. One minute he’s there, the next thing I know he’s successfully empties the syrup bottle All. Over. The. Couch. I mean puddles of syrup in our cushions and pillows. First time as a parent I remember calling my mom crying because I was at such a loss for how to clean it all up.

ashleynr12 , mroach Report

Final score:

163points

POST

May 2 years ago

I once babysat my 3 year old niece, who was the most well behaved little girl. She was drawing peacefully at the kitchen table, when I left her for 2-3 minuets to go pee. In those minuets she had run to the other bathroom, grabbed a shampoo bottle and squirted shampoo all over the couch, kitchen chairs and her fathers very expensive soundsystem. I was impressed with how much she had managed to cover. No permanent damage, thankfully. But a whole lot of cleaning up.

79points

#15

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online Not my kid, but about 20 minutes ago a toddler just kinda... wandered into my apartment. I had the door unlocked so maintenance could come in and out while working on something. My daughter and I heard the TV go on and sure enough some little blonde girl with cute pigtails is just plopped down watching cartoons. Lol. Her parents were probably s***ting bricks.

GarbageDayyyyy , Julian Tysoe Report

Final score:

159points

POST

best turtle 2 years ago

just casually break into someones house to watch tv

81points

peripateticpeople , Quinn Dombrowski Report

#16

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online Went to the toilet, leaving the newborn asleep on a blanket on the floor (on top of a large fluffy carpet). 3 year old was watching tv nearby. Came back to find baby literally rolled up in carpet like a dead body, 3 year old sitting on top, with a cushion under him too. Still don’t know how he did it at all let alone so quickly, and how the baby was totally chilled and unharmed.

Final score:

158points

POST

VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 2 years ago

Ah yes, the only purpose of siblings. Cushion.

107points

#17

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online I was the child in question, two years old at the time. We were at the beach, where about two feet into the sea there's a shelf where it suddenly gets twice as deep. My parents were distracted by my brother, so didn't notice me wander into the surf. When they next looked up, all the could see was my hat away floating on the water. Panic set in, and my dad sprinted into the sea. Discovered that I was still wearing the hat, and was somehow floating completely vertical with just the hat showing above the water.

Turns out this is not that uncommon! Remember, when you're near a body of water, never stop watching the kids.

lankymjc , anokarina Report

Final score:

139points

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Debbie 2 years ago

You cant never stop... like you said yourself, distracted by your brother. Even if there are 10 adults watching 1 kid, they can all get distracted by something at the same time, and that kid then has an accident/wanders off. Being startled by a seagull makes you look around, stepping on a sharp seashell, picking up the toy the kid has dropped. It can be anything.

67points

#18

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online I work from home. My son is usually with me while I work in the evening. One night I take a call, he was sitting on the floor next to me playing with his cars (he's three). The next minute, I look over and watching him as he is flying through the air next to me. He had climbed up on our table and just launched himself off! I always mute myself when I'm not speaking when he's home so thank god the customer didn't hear my OH MY GOD as i caught him lol

[deleted] , 455992 Report

Final score:

138points

POST

best turtle 2 years ago

he came in like a falling bird!

36points

#19

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online So we took the kids (7, 3, 3 and 3) to a water park. One of us would stay in the kiddie area with 2 of the triplets and the other parent would take one of the 3 year olds and the 7 year old on a ride. It was working pretty well.

Note, the kiddie area was mostly contained, but there was no gate or anything. At one of the swaps, we blinked for a second and our adventurous 3 year old was gone. Instant oh f**k panic. Get security there, staff is looking, I'm running around looking.

Anyway, we eventually found him. He had ridden a waterslide with my wife earlier, and decided "That was fun, I'm gonna do it again" The 3 year old had gone back to get in line for the waterslide by himself, and they found him about 2 from the front of the line.

RoboNinjaPirate , Bradley Gordon Report

Final score:

130points

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Walking On Sunshine 2 years ago

Oh Lord, what a ride you are in for.

60points

#20

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online My daughter said "Ouch" and was looking at her thumb. A few minutes later the same thing happened. That is when I realized she was trying to stick a paper clip in an electrical outlet.

Fortunately no harm. I think that was the last time she was allowed to go to work with daddy.

Morganzata , david pacey Report

Final score:

119points

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Cecily Holland 2 years ago

⚡️⚡️

25points

#21

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online I had taken my four year daughter into a public toilet in France, which was next to a main road. As we left, I let go of her hand for a split second as I looked away to close the door behind us. When I looked back she was running into the main road as she'd seen her Mum on the other side. From where I stood, my view of the road was obstructed so I couldn't see if any cars were coming, and she had gone too far for me to catch her. By a complete miracle, she got safely over the road. It sends shivers down my spine remembering the helpless terror I felt when I saw her in the middle of the road.

Goose-rider3000 , Glenn Beltz Report

Final score:

118points

POST

Henry Russell 2 years ago

thank heaven she made it over the road

68points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#22

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online When my daughter was little, probably about 3, she went with me to shop for some tools. I turned away to look at something and heard behind me "Daddy, what's this?" "Uh, honey, that's an axe. Please give it to me." She did, and all was well, but I'm glad my wife wasn't there--she would have panicked.

retailguy_again , Peter Murphy Report

Final score:

93points

POST

Orange is aging 2 years ago

I saw the axe picture and audibly said “oh no”

55points

#23

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online My toddler at the time grabbed a stick of butter out of the fridge and tossed it into the fish tank. Minutes later all the fish were floating dead in the fish tank. Last time we owned fish

earthenfirebrand , David Kinney Report

Final score:

92points

POST

May 2 years ago

I've never owned fish, but how did cold butter kill them so quickly? Did they nibble it and instantly die from an allergic reaction?

46points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#24

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online Went to pee , put my kiddos in there room with the door open and the gate up. I also had the bathroom door open...come out to find a dozen eggs cracked on the kitchen floor and into the butter and my youngest covered in peanut butter naked. My now ex husband was sleeping...I walked into our room woke him up and tagged out..my brain was fried at that point. To this day I have no clue how they escaped, they are 16&18 now.

HolyPallyGirl , J E Theriot Report

Final score:

92points

POST

pat hayes 2 years ago

how long were you gone????

41points

#25

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online Woke up once and my two sons had climbed out of a window onto a flat roof. They were 1 and 3. I still don't know how they even got the window open.

[deleted] , storebukkebruse Report

Final score:

92points

POST

M O'Connell 2 years ago

My parents were afraid of this happening and screwed blocks of wood to the window frames in my bedroom so the bottom sash could only open 3 inches.

56points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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#26

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online My daughter was 18 months old. Standing in between my husband and me in the kitchen, arm distance from both of us. She slipped, fell and broke two front teeth.

Why_So_Slow , Caitlin Regan Report

Final score:

86points

POST

Qibli of the SandWings 2 years ago

All I want for (past) Christmas is my two front teeth

34points

imwalkingafteryou , Bernard DUPONT Report

#27

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online Growing up we had a shed with our laundry room attached to our porch. My mom had me sitting on the floor of the porch playing with some toys (I was about 2), while she was doing laundry. I was just out of her eyeline for the time it takes to start a load of laundry, but by the time she turned around I had somehow managed to find a snake and had picked it up and was playing with it.

Final score:

84points

POST

Emerald Ocean 2 years ago

When I was one I grabbed a yellow jacket and was playing with it. Got stung. Haven’t gotten stung since

35points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#28

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online Telling it on my dad's behalf. On a fishing trip and I fell in a rapid while playing on the rocks. Never a strong swimmer, just kinda started my travel to the sea. He barely caught me by the arm.

Dangercakes13 , Ralph Daily Report

Final score:

80points

POST

Emerald Ocean 2 years ago

Scary😳

35points

#29

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online He was playing outside in the sand box just 10 feet from me. I had the window and door open and could hear him playing. Suddenly I was aware that he wasn't making any noise. I couldn't find him. I searched the yard, I asked strangers on the street and made a larger and larger circle and met my neighbors. 10 long minutes and he was nowhere. He had curled up in his stroller and was asleep.

DarrenEdwards , Nenad Stojkovic Report

Final score:

76points

POST

ForgotMyPWSendHelp 2 years ago (edited)

I might get some flack for this, but I don't like the idea of letting a child small enough to still be in a stroller play outdoors in an open yard while the parent is indoors, even with a window and door open. If it's a fenced-in back yard, that seems fine. But kids can disappear in the blink of an eye, as this poster learned. They were lucky the kid didn't wander too far away or take off running into the street.

76points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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#30

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online I was sitting in a high chair, climbed out of it, onto the counter, and stole my mother’s coffee.

All she did was to put her shoes at the door, 3 feet away

FANTOMphoenix , Peachyeung316 Report

Final score:

75points

POST

May 2 years ago

My nephew had to be strapped in to his highchair. One time we were clearing the table and he pulled the tablecloth to get a hold of the cake that had been left in the middle of the table. We came back to find him face deep in it.

70points

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#31

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online Obligatory not a parent: I was watching my sister's kids and told them we would grill for dinner and have pie. I went to the bathroom, came back, and the pie was ALL OVER the living room. When I asked them what happened, they told me it was daylight savings time, so dinner was now. I couldn't help but laugh.

RubyRogue13 , Drmies Report

Final score:

16points

POST

ForgotMyPWSendHelp 2 years ago

What kind of pie is that?

9points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#32

Not a parent, but my little brother somehow made it to stick 3 discs and a 50ct coin into the Wii. We needed tweezers to get them out again

[deleted] Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Raluca Ciocian Ardeleanu 2 years ago

Again....hahaha

1point

#33

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online On more than one occasion my daughter jumped into her bath fully clothed. I was turned around to get the bubbles or her toys or something and then SPLOOSH. She was like 2. Lol

Most recently I was sitting down after finishing some chores and she walked up to me really proud with a chunk of her hair. "Look mama, I cut my hair!" She just turned 5...

kannakantplay , Peter Lindberg Report

Final score:

15points

POST

M O'Connell 2 years ago

Doesn't every kid cut their own hair at some point?

14points

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

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#34

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online when my sister, brother and I were young, probably 2, 4 & 5 or thereabouts...my mom left the room for 2 minutes and in that time we had managed to spray an entire container of baby powder around the room. She said it looked like it had snowed in there.

happy_freckles , james keller Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Barbara L Bristow 2 years ago

My nephew did that with powdered sugar all over the living room

3points

#35

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online My mom recounted a visit at the zoo where I ran into the pond and she had to fish me out before I submerged myself under the water.

TituCusiYupanqui , Serhio Magpie Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Emerald Ocean 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-2points

#36

My mom had gotten me one of those huuuge snickers bars for Christmas one year. My kiddo was 3 at the time, I was doing something and come back to the kitchen to see the snickers with the chocolate eaten off of one end, like, teeth marks scraping off the top layer of chocolate, and the whole thing in the trash. Kiddo was smart enough to try and hide his crime.

[deleted] Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago

Aw man. I hope they got a new Snickers bar; I would have been really ticked off.

9points

#37

Nothing compared to others , but last week I took my 3yo son to use the public urinal after dinner in the city, I look away and he’s lent forward and placed his hands on the urinal to watch the water fall over his hands… gross to say the least

mickenrorty Report

Final score:

13points

POST

dee dee 2 years ago

Well his immune system got a cool workout so I guess it's a win?

8points

#38

30 Crazy Yet Hilarious “I Looked Away For One Second” Stories Shared By Parents Online I looked away for 1 second and my son (1yr at the time) ate my pack of cigarettes that I thought he couldn't reach. Called poison control and they told me he'd be fine, and he'll probably throw up. When he did throw up, noticed he only ate a little bit if the tobacco, no filters or anything. I quit soon after that.

Iamthe8percent , Falko Report

Final score:

8points

POST

May 2 years ago (edited)

What? Poison control thought a 1yr old had eaten a pack of cigarettes and said the kid would be fine? That's either gross incompetence or this story is made up. That amount of nicotine would have been deadly.

22points

Some time ago, Robertas used to spend his days watching how deep the imprint in his chair will become as he wrote for Bored Panda. Wrote about pretty much everything under and beyond the sun. Not anymore, though. He's now probably playing Gwent or hosting Dungeons and Dragons adventures for those with an inclination for chaos.

Read less »

Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

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What do you think ?

POST

Annamagelic 2 years ago

Toddlers can be surprisingly fast when they want to, are exceptionally creative problem solvers, and have absolutely no sense of self preservation. I believe every one of these stories, and that the parents in question were all being reasonable, responsible people supervising their children as well as is humanly possible.

27points

Rissie 2 years ago

I would not call it problem solving, chaotic creativity is more like it. I'm happy my oldest wasn't like that (sure he had some bumps and bruises but never the put a metal object in the socket kind of adventures) and the youngest was a little more spunky, but still well within manageable limits. Keeping him contained at playgrounds and at those indoor play areas was the best way to let all that energy out. I like to believe that providing ample other opportunities to let that out is the way to go. As in, if I couldn't take it anymore, which was pretty fast, I would go somewhere where they had fun and I had coffee. Yes. Great combo.

5points

Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago

I need to go and hug my kid because apparently she was the most angelic toddler ever

21points

ForgotMyPWSendHelp 2 years ago (edited)

Yeah, my girl is chatty and a little smarty pants who thinks she's grown when she's only 2-and-a-half, but thankfully the worst she's done so far is scribble on the wall.

5points

not your average weirdo 2 years ago

When I was like 7 my parents had left the room, so I grabbed a fistful of powdered sugar and tried to eat it. My parents came back into the room, asked me what I ate, and I started laughing. There was powdered sugar everywhere 😂

11points

Caro Caro 2 years ago

Some of these stories gave me the palps and I'm not even a mum!

8points

tuzdayschild 2 years ago

For about the first 5 years, nature has their brains locked on test and discovery mode. No reservations, no filters, just 'what does this do' and 'how does this taste'. You can't fight it.

6points

Shelbi S 2 years ago

Thank you for reminding me that not having children is the best thing I could ever do for my mental health! LOL!

6points

Who Panda 420 2 years ago

Amen! See my comment below lol

0points

Pille P 2 years ago

As a baby/toddler I managed to pull a container full of permanent marker ink (soviet union, mom had to refill markers by soaking the felt innards in ink over night) from a window sill all over me right before we were supposed to go somewhere. My brand new clothes were for the dumpster and mom had to soak and scrub me for days. Luckily my face was clean so she had to put on new clothes and take me with her like I was. At about 3 I pulled soot out of the heating oven into moms freshly washed plates and crawled into the oven to sleep.

5points

MikeWheelerFan 2 years ago

Crawled into the- wow

1point

Who Panda 420 2 years ago

When my little brother was a baby he was sitting by the stove and my mom told him don't touch the burner it's hot. He decides to be tough and says it's not hot and goes to touch the burner the next thing we hear is his scream. Lesson learned. Also one day when I was watching him I turn my back for a moment and he had taken a stick of butter off the counter and smeared it all over the floor and the counters I don't know how he got it done so quick but it took forever to clean up the grease smears! That may be one reason I don't have children now. LOL I can love my friend's children and send them home at the end of the day

3points

John Smith 2 years ago

Best sort of kids, someone elses. Much more fun to be the uncle that buys them the drum set, than the parent that has to explain why they can't play it at 3am. :)

2points

NIKKI ADDO 2 years ago

My parents lost me at the zoo when I was a toddler and found me sleeping with the sheep in the petting zoo. It’s still one of my favorite stories and my parents always tell it like that was when they knew I would be a HUGE animal lover.

3points

Shanique Gordon 2 years ago

I was at a toddler pool party with my husband. The pool was big but it was a blow up pool on the porch. My son was 2 at the time There were several older children in the pool so I put him in a float. There were adults all sitting to the side of the pool. My husband and I were also pretty close we could see the pool and our son clearly. But I was eating a patty n it was really hot, n was trying to break off a piece to give my husband who at this time was watching me break it. Just looked down a couple seconds. When I looked up I didn't see my son. The other children were blocking him. Then I saw his feet in the air. I ran as fast as I could to get my son, who was still in his float. By this time another adult saw me running and assisted me to pull him out. It seemed he got knocked over in the float n was upside down in a pool pull of children n surrounded by adults n noone saw my son. It was really really scary.

2points

De Burke 2 years ago

Those floats are insanely dangerous because of this. Jackets are a much better option.

0points

C 2 years ago

When my kid was 11 months old there was one morning I wasn't feeling so great, and had just cleaned up a puddle of cat puke which made me feel even more nauseous. Went into the kid's playroom and lay down on the couch. Kid's on the floor right next to the couch, got plenty of toys, he's fine for a bit. Lay back for, no joke, 30 seconds tops, didn't even close my eyes. Look down at my kid. He's COVERED in poop. It's everywhere. All over his clothes, his toys, the floor, the wall, his hands, his face, he's shoveling it into his mouth, and when he sees me looking at him he breaks into a literal $h!t-eating grin and reaches out for me. All I could do was stare, jaw dropped, and yell for my husband. Sure didn't help my upset stomach feel any better, that's for sure :D

2points

Rissie 2 years ago

Poop? In their mouth... If it was a puppy I would advice you to feed it pineapple. Yes that works. For puppies. Not sure about small humans.

1point

GoodWolf 2 years ago

When my cousin was 2, he wandered off to the main road to look at cars when my aunt was turning her back for a second. This was back in the DDR. There were tanks on that road. Luckily, some neighbor found him and brought him back safely. Also, when I was 14 I was supposed to watch my baby sister. Went to the bathroom, came back to find her sitting amidst the shards of a broken bottle in a puddle of olive oil in the kitchen. She was unharmed, thankfully.

2points

SilentBob731 2 years ago

Ah, chilluns. They're vicious little animals but their coats are worth a fortune. ;-)

2points

Nanette Pacelli 2 years ago (edited)

I put my kids down for a nap 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 year old and decided to take a nap myself. My then husband came home and shook me awake screaming where are the kids? I said they're in their room for a nap. He said they weren't. My daughter managed to open the back door and took her brother for a walk. I found them a block over. They couldn't have been gone very long because a woman was asking my daughter where mommy and daddy were as I came running up. I had never been so scared in my life. we lived in a small town in Kentucky at the time, very rural.

1point

MikeWheelerFan 2 years ago

When I was maybe 7 my mom went to walk the dog. She asked if I wanted to stay inside or go with her. I chose to stay inside. Well like 5 minutes later I decide to come outside, and I guessed that she had gone a different way than she did. The whole neighborhood was looking for me by the time I got back, completely oblivious as to what I caused.

1point

Oana-Mihaela Rizea 2 years ago

When i was about 4 I went into the bathroom and locked myself in. The rule in my house was that only the adults are able to use the lock on the door not the kids, but I was feeling like I could achieve that level of greatness as well so I got up on a stool turned to lock on. My mum and dad were used to me staying in the bedroom and listening to my disney story cassettes so no one batted an eye for about an hour. I decided that it was enough and wanted to get out of the bathroom. Got up on the same stool and tried to put the lock off but it turns out I needed more power for that and tried for a good 15 minutes. I started crying hysterically seeing myself trapped in the bathroom . The lock couldn`t be open from the outside so all I could hear is my mum crying that her child was trapped in the bathroom while my father was trying to get the door open. He ended up needing to break the window that was on the door to be able to open it. Went out like nothing happened and got myself a snack.

1point

Lovin' Life 2 years ago

Children can shave years off your life in a matter of seconds. Maybe that's why my hair turned completely gray while in my 20s. My daughters shared a room with 2 twin beds. I had sent them to bed but had to go and quieten them several times. Youngest got up to go to the bathroom. She comes out of her room afterwards screaming that my older was gone. I looked at her bed , outside, and everywhere. Called the police and they came and began searching. She was in her bed, sound asleep. She was thin so you couldn't see her the way the blankets were covering her. I was embarrassed but more relieved than anything!

1point

Denise .Russell 2 years ago

From what I was told: about 2 years old, mom comes in to do her nightly check and notices the crib is empty. She starts panicking and starts looking around for me be spying movement out of the corner of her eye and up. She turns and low and behold, there I am with pillow and blankie atop this 8 foot tall bookcase sound asleep. I had undone my cribs gate, crawled out, pulled the shelves of the bookcase out and climbed up it to the top to sleep. Course even at an earlier age, I knew how to take my own crib apart as well as taking outlet covers off by watching my dad use a screwdriver.

1point

Red 2 years ago

I was one of those quiet and creative kids and my mom has a ton of those stories. I don't remember this, but I was maybe 3, it was winter, when a neighbor kid broke his leg. I was fascinated by the cast. So, later my grandma gives my mom a humongous tube of white toothpaste and my mom said something like it's too big, it's going to harden up. We all went to bed, and I quietly got up found the toothpaste and covered my legs up with it, making a cast like the kid had. Went back to our room to show it to my mom. She says she started nervous laughing, woke my grandma up and took me to the shower to wash up with warm water because it was winter and I covered myself with minty toothpaste. She puts me back to bed, I lift my shirt and behold, my whole torso has toothpaste, bellybutton is nowhere to be found, completely filled up. So there we go again, at this point she decided to give me a bath, cleaned my bellybutton with q tips, tucked me in again and kept watch. 😅

1point

Jacob Nunez 2 years ago

When i was like seven or six I remember going to the bathroom and grabbing my mothers razor to rub my fingers on it. I cut myself. Woke my mom up and showed her the cut. She put a bandaid and went back to sleep. I went back into the bathroom. And cut myself again.

1point

Stephanie Cunningham 2 years ago

My mom and I were putting away groceries when my baby sister was 2 or 3. After about five minutes, we noticed she wasn't in the kitchen with us, and Mom sent me to check on her. I found her, standing on the bathroom sink, with one of her dad's razors in her hand and little cuts all over her face. When I asked what she was doing, she said, "shabing my pace."

1point

Susan Bosse 2 years ago

When my sister (43 now) was about 2 (I was 11), we lost her in the mall. Looking everywhere. Mom is ready to call the cops. We hear "9 to 5" playing from a dress shop. There she was. Singing and dancing to a CROWD of people. Relief and anger flooded me and my mom. She's been there for a while. I guess it never dawned on a single person to call mall security about a lone 2 year old little girl. We just laughed at this story over Christmas.

1point

Rissie 2 years ago

They probably all thought mom was there enjoying it too.

2points

Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago

At Christmas lunch my nephew stole and unwrapped his dad's chocolate and ate about half of it, while there were five adults right there at the table with him. Nobody noticed (not even his dad, whose lap he was sitting on) until he started throwing a fit because it was dark chocolate and he didn't like the taste! They really are insanely fast and stealthy.

1point

Yvette Shore 2 years ago

I remember putting my two tinies in their restraints on the back seat of the car and placing my full bag of groceries between them. They were unusually quiet as we drove home. When we stopped at some traffic lights, I turned around. Great big grins and an almost empty grocery bag. They had been dropping items out the half open car windows for the last fifteen minutes!

0points

Brenden Kaye Fisher 2 years ago (edited)

When I was almost 2, I managed to scale a wall onto the master bathroom vanity. My mom, alerted by our dog that something was amiss during nap time, found me munching on iron supplement pills. Turns out they looked like my Flintstone vitamins. Poison control said go to ER ASAP. At the hospital on base (USAF) the Pediatric Flight Surgeon wanted to start two IVS for medication to counteract the iron. When the nurses came in to set it up, they took one look at me ( I was happily playing with toys on bed) and told my mom they would have to figure out a different way to administer the medicine. When my mom asked why they said “Ma’am, the IVs need to go into her neck, but we cannot even see it.” I was a butterball of a baby with rolls for days. While the doc and nurses were looking for alternatives, dad shows up after scouring the bathroom. He accounted for all the pills except one. I was observed overnight and released. No IVs administered. Took my mom awhile to let me nap alone in my room after that.

0points

Janice Adya 2 years ago

My neighbor lived across the road with her 3 young children, the youngest being a son, who was about 18 months old. One day I was in my basement, and I heard my dogs going crazy barking upstairs, so I assumed they saw a squirrel out the slider door, because that would make them go nutty like that. The barking became more intense, so I went upstairs to check, and there in my dining room was little Denny, looking calm and unfazed, excited to see my dogs. We lived in the country, but this was a paved road, with traffic going typically 55+ miles per hour. I didn't want to startle him with my absolute fear and shock, so I just said, "Hi, let's go see Momma," and proceeded to take him back over. She was hysterically running out of her house. She was in tears and so scared. She had left him for a moment with his older sisters watching a movie, and when she came out of the bathroom, she asked them where their brother was and the were so engrossed in the movie, they didn't even answer. Yikes.

0points

John Smith 2 years ago

I am pretty sure that up to a certain age. Children are capable of becoming almost liquid and pour though gaps. My brother (@ 2 yo) managed to get through a hole that didn't look big enough for his head to go through. Repeatedly. We even found him in the basement once, he disappeared and managed to some how get into the basement. To this day we don't know how he did it.

0points

Olivia Johnson 2 years ago

When I was two or three my mom left me in a room to play while she cooked dinner. She said it got too quiet so she went to go looking for me... she found me. She said I looked funny but couldn't figure out what it was exactly that's when my 7 year old sister yelled... "SHE HAS NO EYEBROWS!" 👀. I had seen my mom shape her eyebrows with a razor and decided that might be a good idea! I shaved them clean off. I'm glad they grew back LOL. 😂

0points

Squee She 2 years ago

I feel like a lot of these heard the threat "I hope you have a kid JUST like you!" 🤣

0points

Steven 2 years ago

You can't make these stories up! It is truly amazing that so many youngsters DO survive !

0points

Ola Pe 2 years ago

Having read these I’m starting to appreciate the fact that my kids are teenagers and the only thing that might make them rum frantically is serach of good wifi connection 😉

0points

Nikki Sevven 2 years ago

I think a lot of these parents looked away for a lot more than "one second."

0points

Gay Williamson 2 years ago

This brings back so much trauma! My then 3 year old middle had just been dispatched from the tub while I dried off the 1 year old. He disappeared for an hour, completely naked. The entire neighborhood was searching for him, his 5 year old brother was traumatized for years, constantly needing to know where he was. He'd fallen asleep under a pile of clothes in the laundry room and only awakened after I dropped the lid to the washer and yelled his name for what was probably the hundredth time.

0points

Lightningstar 2 years ago

my then 2-year-old cousin (who can't swim) has jumped into the pool when i was turned around for at most 5 seconds and everyone else was inside. this happened at least twice in a month.

0points

Hatred Pony 2 years ago

5 crackheads downvoted my comment.😂

-1point

Hatred Pony 2 years ago

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POST

Annamagelic 2 years ago

27points

Rissie 2 years ago

5points

Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago

I need to go and hug my kid because apparently she was the most angelic toddler ever

21points

ForgotMyPWSendHelp 2 years ago (edited)

Yeah, my girl is chatty and a little smarty pants who thinks she's grown when she's only 2-and-a-half, but thankfully the worst she's done so far is scribble on the wall.

5points

not your average weirdo 2 years ago

11points

Caro Caro 2 years ago

Some of these stories gave me the palps and I'm not even a mum!

8points

tuzdayschild 2 years ago

For about the first 5 years, nature has their brains locked on test and discovery mode. No reservations, no filters, just 'what does this do' and 'how does this taste'. You can't fight it.

6points

Shelbi S 2 years ago

Thank you for reminding me that not having children is the best thing I could ever do for my mental health! LOL!

6points

Who Panda 420 2 years ago

Amen! See my comment below lol

0points

Pille P 2 years ago

5points

MikeWheelerFan 2 years ago

Crawled into the- wow

1point

Who Panda 420 2 years ago

3points

John Smith 2 years ago

Best sort of kids, someone elses. Much more fun to be the uncle that buys them the drum set, than the parent that has to explain why they can't play it at 3am. :)

2points

NIKKI ADDO 2 years ago

3points

Shanique Gordon 2 years ago

2points

De Burke 2 years ago

Those floats are insanely dangerous because of this. Jackets are a much better option.

0points

C 2 years ago

2points

Rissie 2 years ago

Poop? In their mouth... If it was a puppy I would advice you to feed it pineapple. Yes that works. For puppies. Not sure about small humans.

1point

GoodWolf 2 years ago

2points

SilentBob731 2 years ago

Ah, chilluns. They're vicious little animals but their coats are worth a fortune. ;-)

2points

Nanette Pacelli 2 years ago (edited)

1point

MikeWheelerFan 2 years ago

1point

Oana-Mihaela Rizea 2 years ago

1point

Lovin' Life 2 years ago

1point

Denise .Russell 2 years ago

1point

Red 2 years ago

1point

Jacob Nunez 2 years ago

1point

Stephanie Cunningham 2 years ago

1point

Susan Bosse 2 years ago

1point

Rissie 2 years ago

They probably all thought mom was there enjoying it too.

2points