Gaming is a widely loved pastime for many people around the world. In the U.S. alone, 190.6 million people say they play video games at least for an hour per week. You can do it alone, you can do it with a friend, you can do it with a partner – as long as you don’t have to share a PC, preferably.

For this couple, that became a bit of a problem. A woman went on a trip for a week and let her girlfriend game on her computer. When she returned, her GF was officially hooked. As there was only one computer at their place, a cheeky war of who was getting to play first began.

Bored Panda wanted to know more about how gaming habits impact relationship dynamics. So, we reached out to Dr. Rachel Kowert, a researcher on the uses and effects of digital games. She told us more about the benefits of video games for couples and how much gaming can actually be too much. Read her expert insights below!

A woman introduced her girlfriend to gaming and let the GF use her computer while she was away

Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

When she came back, she started regretting it as the GF was now fully hooked on Baldur’s Gate 3

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)

Image source: Slavaa

Enjoying video games together can positively influence a couple’s relationship

Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)

We might be used to the stereotype that gaming is a ‘guy thing’ reserved for boyfriends. However, research shows that 48% out of the 212 million video gamers in the U.S. are female. What’s more, it’s not a solitary activity as many would imagine. Gaming can actually bring couples closer.

We asked Rachel Kowert, Ph.D., an Ottawa-based psychologist to share her expertise on the topic. Dr. Kowert’s research interests include the psychology of games and, more recently, the relationship between mental health and video games.

“Online gaming is a great way for couples to spend time together,” Kowert says. “Engaging in a shared activity, where couples are working together (or perhaps playfully working against each other) can foster closeness, intimacy, and be a fun way to spend a Friday night together.”

“The research has found that playing online games comes with far more benefits than risks,” she adds. Indeed, one survey found that couples who game report it having a positive influence on their relationship.

But how can couples enjoy video games when there’s only one gaming setup at home? “There are plenty of ways for couples to play together even with one gaming setup,” Dr. Kowert says.

“First of all, there are a range of mobile games that couples can play on their smartphone – no special setup needed. However, if you do happen to have a console, there are a range of couch co-op games for two players!” She recommends ‘It Takes Two,’ a widely popular game in that regard, and the winner of ‘Best Family Game’ and ‘Best Multiplayer Game.’

It’s not about how many hours we spend gaming, but whether it negatively affects our physical and mental well-being

Image credits: Umut Sarıalan (not the actual photo)

The girlfriend in this story fell victim to the age-old gamer problem: there’s just not enough time in the day to finish a game! Sometimes, gamers run the risk of overdoing it, potentially harming their physical and mental well-being. But how can we know how much gaming is too much gaming?

Some researchers suggest a number as a point of reference for how much might be too much. One study from Oxford University claims that playing for more than 21 hours every week (three hours per day) can start to have a detrimental effect on one’s well-being.

Rachel Kowert, Ph.D., however, isn’t so quick to rely on numbers only. “How much is too much is probably the most common question I receive,” Dr. Kowert tells Bored Panda. “While there is no magic number, if you are starting to suffer negative consequences in other areas of your life – physical health, psychological health, not meeting one’s responsibilities, etc. – that is when it becomes too much.”

“50 hours in five days sounds like a lot,” Kowert admits. “But is it inherently a problem based on numbers alone? Not necessarily. Perhaps they had a week’s vacation. Perhaps during this week, they were eating, moving, and meeting necessary obligations in the other waking hours of their day.”

“All to say, the issues are not in the numbers alone but rather in the consequences one may be suffering because of it,” Dr. Kowert explains.

“Yet another relationship strained by BG3 and its infinite rizz,” people in the comments quipped

However, the author wasn’t alone in her experience; some gamers had the same thing happen to them

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