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40 Parents Share How They Tried Teaching Their Kids Life Lessons, But It Didn’t Go As Planned
Raising children is no easy task, and pretty much every parent wants their kid to succeed in life. That’s why time and again, they try to pass on precious wisdom to make sure they grow up to be generally good human beings. However, even when moms and dads have the best of intentions, their lessons sometimes reveal unexpected results.
If that sounds familiar to you, we hope that you’ll find comfort in knowing you’re definitely not the only one. One Reddit user decided to find out what funny accidents parents had when they shared advice with their young ones. They asked, "What lessons have you tried to teach your kids that completely backfired?" and thousands of stories rolled in.
Bored Panda handpicked some of the best answers from this thread to make up a collection of hilarious parenting mishaps for you to enjoy. So continue scrolling, upvote the ones you enjoyed most, and share your own anecdotes in the comments below!
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#1
Taught my daughter that whining and begging doesn't get her what she wants. She needs to make a logical argument. I now live with a 12-year-old lawyer who is really good at making me change my mind on house rules
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#2
Told kids that if they were bad they would get coal in their stockings on Christmas. "What's Coal?", they asked. Well, it is a rock that you can light on fire. They now want coal.
#3
When I was about 2 years old my family was at a game in Angel's stadium. My mother went to the restroom and left me and my siblings with my dad. While he was busy watching I wandered off. When they eventually found me I was halfway around the stadium. A crowd had gathered to watch as a police officer held me out at arm's length while I screamed "call the police, this man is not my daddy" over and over again. My parents had taught me stranger danger but forgot to teach me what police look like.
#4
Taught my now 16-year-old to always compliment people who insulted you. We were in a Burlington Coat Factory in Michigan when my mother was shopping for a bathing suit to take to Florida. There were few to choose from, so she was complaining. My kid was 4.
A woman tried on pants and said something rude to my mom who was asking my opinion and my daughter caught on that my mother was agitated. She squeezed out behind me and told the woman,
"Your teeth are such a pretty yellow!"
#5
My dad tried to implement the whole you MUST eat ALL the food on your plate in our house during meals. My mom was never a fan of that lesson, but my dad was stubborn so she just let it go. Well, one day my sibling had 2-3 bites of food left on their plate, and was very clear that they were absolutely full and couldn't eat another bite. Dad wasn't having it and insisted they could not leave the table until all the food on their plate was gone. My sibling realized they weren't going to convince our dad that they were too full and finished the last few bites and then proceeded to vomit on the table and our dad. He stopped enforcing the rule after that.
Little Wolf 2 years ago
this rule is a little gross though! like i get why its a thing but i don't really like it
#6
My youngest boy would never listen, and he was always totally fearless. He was also always really lucky. Damn near every time either of us told him "don't do that, you're going to get hurt", he would do it and then not get hurt. So we ended up teaching him that when we said not to do something, that probably meant it was a fun thing to do. I remember really hoping that he would fall and break an arm or something non-life-threatening or disabling like that so he would stop constantly giving us heart attacks, which is weird to say as a parent but it never happened so it doesn't matter anyway. He never got anything worse than a small scrape or cut that could be cleaned and covered in five minutes before he was back at it again. Looking back I'm just glad this was before there was anything like Jacka** around to further encourage that s**t.
Now he's a stunt man for movies. Can't say I'm surprised.
#7
When my daughter was 10, she wanted to try out for a community theater version of Beauty and the Beast. She got nervous though, and almost backed out, because she was so sure she wasn't going to make it.
My husband, who did some acting in high school, stepped in and said that he would also audition, even though he knew he was never going to make it. He wanted to demonstrate to her that it's okay to audition for something that you don't think you're going to make.
She ended up not only just making it, but she got the part of Chip. My husband got the part of Maurice, Belle's father. He didn't even want to be in a goddamn play
Tweetysvoice 2 years ago
And now they will have a shared connection that will last a lifetime. What a gift!
#8
A coworker of mine was trying to teach her kid the "don't talk with your mouth full" rule. Instead, the kid just spits out their food when they want to talk.
Children are the absolute masters of malicious compliance.
#9
My kids were begging for a pet. I don't want to take care of a pet, and I told them that they don't clean up after themselves without me hassling them, so why would they clean up after a pet without me hassling them. Told them if they could keep their room clean for 6 months without me telling them, they could get a pet.
The youngest child proceeds to clean the room, then moves clothes and a sleeping bag into the hallway and locks his door so his room can't get dirty as he sleeps in the hallway.
Shelli LotusFlower 2 years ago
Evil genius. He’ll either grow up to be a stock broker or a gambler’s bookie.
#10
Not a parent but when I was around 12, my father suspected that I stayed up late playing video games, even though I didn't. One night he went into my room and told me that I shouldn't play my Game Boy Advance past bedtime because I needed to rest. That's when I realized I could play my Game Boy Advance past bedtime, and I've suffered from insomnia since then.
Unwelcomed Guest 2 years ago
This happened to me growing up. I was always getting in trouble for all sorts of things like smoking (I was around 9 when I was first accused of smoking) after years of accusations and groundings for something I had never done and with new found confidence (hormones) in adolescence I figured if I was going to be punished for something I probably should do it. The irony is because the accusations had been happening for so long people stopped caring so I got away with pretty much everything.
#11
Told my children repeatedly that if I found any more mess/junk on their bedroom floor, I would be donating it to the thrift store. I told them they had 15 minutes to clean it up off the floor.
Came back to find everything picked up, except they went into the kitchen cupboards and had put every food they didn't like in a nice neat pile right in the middle of the floor.
#12
Read a book that suggested you ask your kid what an appropriate punishment for misbehaving would be and then carry it out. 6 yo son pinched his brother or something, so we asked what an appropriate punishment would be. He said, “pluck out my eyeballs and throw me over a cliff?”. We didn't follow through. And stopped reading parenting books.
Lovin' Life 2 years ago
Perhaps you should offer choices for punishment as for them to not be so drastic.
#13
Not a parent, but as a child, I noticed my sister was writing her name on the walls when she was drawing on them with crayons. Taking on the role of Helpful Big Sister, I informed her if she was going to graffiti things she shouldn't write her name and give herself away.
A few weeks later, she was carving patterns into the wooden desk in the study and carved my name into it instead.
#14
My sister tried to teach her kids not to gamble, so she bought a few lottery tickets to show them that they were all going to be losers. She won $500
Jon Rindfleisch 2 years ago
Had a boss that used to curse us for "wasting money on the lottery"... one day he finally broke down and bought a $1.00 ticket and won $800 and couldn't stop buying them after that. Ended up in counseling for gambling addiction...
#15
Not a parent, but I work in a school.
At my school we have a lot of kids with learning disabilities (more than in your average school, as we have a special program for it and get special funding), so one of the first lessons of the school year is "everybody needs different things to learn, and if somebody is getting something different from you it's because that's what they need to learn at school." You know, a kid-friendly way of explaining accommodations.
Now, the usual accommodations we offer are special chairs/wiggle seats, extra breaks during the day, and extended testing time and tests were taken in a quiet room. One kid, however, has decided to take the 'everyone learns differently' lesson to heart and now talks in a fake-British accent (I live in America btw) all day. Because 'it helps him learn.
Then all of the other kids started talking in fake accents.
#16
I taught them about democracy. Now everything’s a vote and when they don’t get their way they call me a dictator.
Deno J Gualtieri 2 years ago
Only half the lesson here... 1) What a democracy is, and 2) Not everything is a democracy.
#17
Saw a clip on local news about a toddler saving her mom's life by calling 911 when she collapsed. Figured it was a good idea to teach my toddler 911. Had two cops at my door 5 minutes later.
#18
My wife tried to explain the concept of heaven to our 5-year old after great-grandpa passed. My daughter did not believe one ounce of it. She responded, "you're making that up mommy, you can't be in heaven and a cemetery at the same time".
#19
My parents tried to start a chore/payment system around the house. There was a list of chores and then payment for them.
"Clean guest bathroom...$1.50. " First, I just kept using that bathroom, so it needed cleaned daily. Basically got paid to poop. They stopped that after the first week.
Next, I realized it didn't say WHO had to do the cleaning. I'd pay the neighborhood kids to do it instead. I'd give them $1 to clean the bathroom and pocket the $.50. I did that one for like, 3 weeks before the other parents found out and I got yelled at.
#20
One of my 5-year-old twins was still having occasional accidents because she would get so caught up in playing/doing something else that she just wouldn't go and would pee her pants. To combat this we would give her a special prize of some variety when she wouldn't have an accident. This, in turn, caused her twin sister to START having accidents so she could get prizes for not having accidents (even though she was fine on this front beforehand.) We had to rethink our methods.
#21
Not me but my dad teaching the nephew. He hated smiling so in pictures my dad would tell him to say "whiskey". When he tried cheese it wasn't the same. Anyway, at school, the principal was taking a picture of the class and told everyone to say "cheeeeese!"
My nephew very loudly says WHISKEEEY.
#22
My child asked about sex because he heard it at school so the wife and I had an age-appropriate discussion with him (10yo). Informed him that it's something that men and women do when they are in love and want a child.
He then got angry accusing us of having sex even when we don't want more children. My wife and I couldn't be in the same room without him for about a month after that day. If we were sitting on the couch together he'd had to sit between us like our chaperone.
#23
We've been working with our 2-year-old on holding hands when we cross the street or walking through a parking lot. After a couple of weeks, he tried holding his own hands. I have to give him credit since I never specified whose hand he had to hold.
#24
My parents did the thing where they gave 4-year-old me a sip of Budweiser under the impression that I could say that it was yucky and then turn it into some lesson about not drinking Mommy and Daddy drinks, or whatever. I instead took a sip and said "Mmm! Can I have one?"
The lesson that beer is good has lasted to adulthood.
#25
My parents taught me to call 911 when I saw somebody doing something illegal. I called the cops on the Wiggles movie I was watching when I was 5 because a clown stole a cake.
Luckily the 911 operator realized I was young, my story didn't make sense because it was a kid's movie, asked to talk to my mom before sending out cops.
Shelli LotusFlower 2 years ago (edited)
Took my son to see the Wiggles in ‘02. They’d walk around the stadium giving out roses to kids. Can’t tell you how many mom’s tried to get in on that so they could flirt. Not gonna lie tho, I watched them as much as him for that reason. SAHM life got tedious at times lol.
#26
Taught my four-year-old that you're not allowed to say that food is gross if you haven't tried it. Apparently, I'm not allowed to criticize her booger eating until I try it.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
Reminds me of an old joke: What's the difference between snot and broccoli? Kids won't eat broccoli.
#27
Not a parent, but my in-laws love telling this story about my fiance.
He was resistant to potty training, and they eventually got him to start using the potty by telling him that he had to be out of pull-ups before a family trip to Disney World, because "Mickey Mouse only sees big boys and girls." And also who wants to log a diaper bag around Disney?
Anyway, it went great, they had a great trip... and the day after they got back, he pooped in the living room. When asked, he said "I don't gotta use the potty cause I already saw Mickey Mouse." They very firmly told him that if he was old enough to use logic, he was far too old for diapers, and that was the end of that.
BAWK BAWK BAKAW 2 years ago
only sees boys and girls? hehe im invisible to mickey mouse, i must adjust to my newfound invisibility power!
#28
I've been teaching my kids that life isn't always fair. The tantrums when one is invited to a birthday party have been too much. It's been helping, some.
Then I was playing tic tac toe with my youngest. She covered up the column she wanted to use to win. When I told her that cheating isn't fair and I didn't want to play if she was going to cheat, she reminded me - "life isn't fair, momma."
Touche, kiddo.
IeabellAlakar@aqueenofaplanet 2 years ago
Nothing is fair. Especially Undyne the Undying. (Seriously, I need help.)
#29
Not my story but my girlfriend’s: she and her sister were given a penny for every ant they killed from inside the house. They had to present the dead ants on scotch tape. Next thing you know, they were leaving out food under the counter to lure additional ants inside the house in order to make more pennies. There were caught. Parents were not impressed.
WilvanderHeijden 2 years ago
History keeps repeating itself. Just search for "The Cobra Effect".
#30
Successfully taught my child to question authority. Forgot I was an authority
Ally MacMann 2 years ago
I don't think this one is easy. Sometimes authority figures do bad things and children need to encouraged to speak up. But other times it's a parent or a teacher telling them to do something they don't feel like doing. Finding the right balance in a way that children can properly understand is one of the big challenges of parenthood.
#31
Tried explaining to my daughter that she can always trust me. That anything I do is always for whats best for her. I told her that while she wont believe it now, or even in a few years, eventually shed say "Dad you were right. You are the smartest man I know." I said I knew this because when I was a kid the same thing happened, and eventually I had to tell Poppy he was right, he was the smartest man I know. She responded with "Well wouldnt that mean Poppy is the smartest man I know then? Not you?" She was 7 at the time. 3 years later and I still laugh about it.
Ray Arani 2 years ago
This is actually sort of a dangerous thing to teach children, that an authority figure is always right and knows what's best and that they should trust them unfailingly. They are likely to apply that to all authority figures and some authority figures do not have their best interest in mind. It's okay for kids to know their parents are flawed. It might mean explaining your reasoning to them more often, but that might also lead to children who are more likely to speak up if an adult is doing something to or around them they shouldn't be. Also, if they think your perfect because you told them so, then they realize your not and that you are capable of mistakes and poor decisions like the rest of the world, they will feel lied to or think you're a narcissist, either way it's broken trust.
#32
When my son was about 3 or 4 he started to ask about how babies are born. I sat him down and gave him a very simple, age appropriate explanation.
He just looked at me, shook his head and said just said 'No.' Very calmly but in a 'I can't believe you think that's how it works' tone of voice like I'd told him fake news.
I was prepared for difficult questions and even prepared for the fact that he might ask me things that even I didn't know, but I was completely unprepared for him to just simply not believe me when I told him the truth. I just sat there not knowing what to do while he went back to playing lego.
#33
Not a parent but one time my parents grounded us from using their dishes because we never washed them, they said from now on we had to buy our own paper dishes and plastic cups/utensils.
I went that day to the dollar store and stocked up. Come dinner time none of my siblings had. I sold them all plates/utensils at a huge markup. This went on for several days as my lazy siblings kept putting off going to the store. Best punishment ever.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Why would the parents give disposable things as an option if they wanted the kids to wash the real ones? Taking away items doesn't seem like an effective method for this type of thing.
#34
My little brother refused to eat while my gf and I were babysitting him. My gf decided to explain the concept of food as an energy source to him. Which he then proceeds to use an excuse to not do s**t. Anytime you told him to do something, he said he couldn’t because he would run out of energy and pass away.
#35
Playing carnival/fair games is a waste of money. My son wanted to spend his $20 to win a Pikachu stuffed animal from his allowance that he saved up. WE told him he would be wasting his money and he would not win. He spent $15.00 and won the biggest prize.
Snorkeldorf 2 years ago (edited)
Same with claw machines. Let my daughter play one at a movie theater thinking it would be a good example of gambling and losing money. She grabbed a stuffed toy and got it out. Then played again and won again. After that, my daughter, me, her step dad and her grandma became addicted to claw machines. Sure we spent a lot on the toys we grabbed, but we had loads of fun and once a year we donated all the toys to the local hospital during their annual toy run.
#36
not me buT my sister. Dad after having a long conversation about teaching her to say pardon instead of what...
my dad calling up the stairs "what are you doing?"
sister "mumbles"
dad "what are you doing"
sister "mumbles"
dad "WHAT?"
sister yelling "DON'T SAY WHAT SAY PARDON!!!"
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I've never understood the problem some people have with saying what. It's a legitimate question so why is it unacceptable?
#37
My daughter ran down the stairs so I sent her back up so she could walk down them properly. She promptly fell down the entire flight.
#38
Taught them to read early. My son could read by age 4, and my daughter by age 3. This leads to some unwanted conversations as they will read things over your shoulder when you aren't expecting it. Or even just signs on the road. "You're going too fast, Daddy. It says 55 mph and you're going 70."
#39
I wanted to teach my son the value of money and work ethic because he kept wanting Robux... I decided it would be a great teaching moment, and a win-win opportunity as he was just getting to the age in which I think he should start doing chores around the house. He really wanted to buy some skin or something, so I created a chore chart and gave each chore a value. We established a schedule and everything. It was working out majestically, every day without asking he was doing dishes, cleaning his room, picking up the dog poop, it was epic. Then one day, I came home and nothing had been done. I asked him "hey man, what's up with the dishes? Oh and go pick up the dog poop too." He simply replied, "Nah". Fighting back rage, I simply said, "excuse me?" He said, he made enough money over the last x days that he bought his skin and he was good now. It was hard to argue.
#40
Not my story, but I heard it from a friend a long time ago:
She got a book for her kids about people from different races and cultures, designed to show the world is full of more than just white people.
Which was fine, until one day in a supermarket, when her daughter, pointing at someone down the aisle, said "look mummy, a black man".
What do you think ?
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
My dad told me when he was a kid his class was sent to the library, where the librarian told them they mustn't rub their shoes on the carpet and then zap each other with static electricity. Needless to say this resulted in the kids going "WOW, you can do that? COOL!" and zap-happy chaos ensued.
K Witmer 2 years ago
During potty training I would give my daughter a few M&Ms if she went in the potty. She then would take the poop from her diaper and put it in the potty and show me to get her chocolate. She only did that twice. It was funny. She was potty trained in a couple of weeks and she's had a chocolate addiction for 17 yrs now but who doesn't?
James016 2 years ago
We have been teaching some independence so he will be OK later in life (autistic 7 year old) Things like getting the milk from the fridge, pouring it into a glass and putting the milk back, things like that. One morning about 9.15am during school holidays I went downstairs to make a tea and I found him sitting on the sofa eating a Cornetto, he had found the box at the bottom of the freezer so he helped himself.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
My dad told me when he was a kid his class was sent to the library, where the librarian told them they mustn't rub their shoes on the carpet and then zap each other with static electricity. Needless to say this resulted in the kids going "WOW, you can do that? COOL!" and zap-happy chaos ensued.
K Witmer 2 years ago
During potty training I would give my daughter a few M&Ms if she went in the potty. She then would take the poop from her diaper and put it in the potty and show me to get her chocolate. She only did that twice. It was funny. She was potty trained in a couple of weeks and she's had a chocolate addiction for 17 yrs now but who doesn't?
James016 2 years ago
We have been teaching some independence so he will be OK later in life (autistic 7 year old) Things like getting the milk from the fridge, pouring it into a glass and putting the milk back, things like that. One morning about 9.15am during school holidays I went downstairs to make a tea and I found him sitting on the sofa eating a Cornetto, he had found the box at the bottom of the freezer so he helped himself.
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