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We tend to have an idea of the various things we should know about, taxes, death, and simple math, but we are burdened with the knowledge that we are supposed to know it by a certain age. Out of embarrassment, we just don’t let on that we aren’t sure about something, as at that point we are too afraid to ask.
One internet user wanted to learn what others only realized way too late in life. The lessons ranged from practical to juvenile to poignant, so make sure to upvote your favorites and comment your own experiences as you scroll through. And take notes in case some of these are relevant to your own life.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Hr is there to protect the company, not you. Hr is not your friend.
#2
There's no such thing as "feeling like an adult" I'm 34 and still forget I'm an adult sometimes lol
#3
That my height shapes how people perceive what I say. I'm a 6'4 male with a deep voice. I learned it at 40 when I had a boss who was 6'6. I was suddenly aware of my own height and the power position, looking up to him. I realized pretty much everyone is looking up at me, and I began smiling more and asking people questions about themselves to reduce the power implications of my height.
Dorothy Stovall 1 year ago
Being tall is SUCH AN ASSET. You're always imbued with authority and "power." I'm 5'11" and didn't realize this completely until I was in my mid-30s.
Not knowing something can be embarrassing. Particularly when we know that we are sort of supposed to know it already. Depending on your age, you have perhaps had that feeling of still being a child “faking it” in an adult world, despite being in your mid-twenties. It’s simultaneously relieving and unnerving that most people in the developed world do not actually feel like adults until they are 29. It’s almost like we become adults at 18 and then need a decade testing it to decide if it’s a good fit.
So even if all of one's peers still feel like overgrown children, people still suspect that most are just well-adjusted, and competent and know that pickles are just cucumbers. Or that doves are just white pigeons, which is so deeply shocking that those city trash birds and the symbol of peace are one and the same. But the bottom line is that we tend to project competence to others while overestimating it in them.
#4
That we should shake the CEO's hand with the exact same enthusiasm and firmness as the janitors hand.
#5
That I don't have to become a mother if I don't want to.
DarthSadie 1 year ago
"I don't have to become a mother if I don't want to" odd choice of picture... So that woman must be going to release her kid into the woods after coming to that conclusion
#6
My grandmother had a clock that would break if anyone touched or tried to move it.
I always found that curious. Then some time in my 30s my wife and I were talking and it came up. I was wondering how they moved it out of their house after they passed. As I was explaining “… I think it must have had some delicately balanced mechanism or something that would be disrupted if moved…” my wife’s face made me quickly realize it was just a lie told to young me to keep my dirty clumsy hands off of it.
Also, I’m an engineer.
Many of the examples are simply the age-old issue of hearing a word or phrase before reading it or vice versa. "Piqued my interest," for example, is correct, not "peaked." One would be forgiven for thinking it’s peaked, because in what other circumstances is someone saying piqued? Like many of the annoying parts of the English language, French is to blame. Piqued is simply a rendition of “pique,” meaning irritate or prick in French. From the outside, it seems silly to be judgmental towards a person for confusing a common word for a rare, foreign construction in an idiom.
#7
1. Everyone is just f*cking winging it.
2. “The rules” do not apply evenly.
3. Everyone around you will always prioritize their needs first, regardless of any verbal assurance to the contrary.
9 animals and counting 1 year ago
I have to disagree about number three. Parents put their children's needs first almost 100% of the time.
#8
That just because two people are in love doesn't mean they should be together
#9
Trying to treat myself as I would others.
The ol' reverse golden-rule
Others shared deeper, more personal experiences. From relationships to self-worth, life is the only effective teacher. Many people end up staying in bad, toxic relationships, whether with a partner or just a bad friend group, for longer than they should, even when they recognize the toxicity of the situation. People only know what they know, which is endlessly circular logic and redundant, but remains ultimately true. If a person doesn’t know any better, they will continue to be around people who are just bad for them, since self-worth isn’t really a class one can take at school.
#10
you know metal? that genre of music that's loud and yelly?
it's called metal because it's harder than rock
#11
That I'm an introvert and shouldn't try to replicate the lives of the extroverts around me.
Also, I'm nowhere near as booksmart as I thought I was.
#12
I learned that other people's opinions of me don't matter. MY opinion of me matters, and since I hold myself to an exceptionally high standard....I'M AWESOME!!
Similar to the ignorance about pickles or thinking that one has to buy shoes and clothes to grow into as an adult, many people also feel embarrassed to admit that they are in a toxic relationship or friendship. We see our social circle as a reflection of ourselves, so admitting that they might be bad feels like telling everyone how dumb we are. Embarrassment is a particularly bad teacher since studies show that it doesn’t even create a drive to avoid similar behavior in the future. So it’s mostly your brain making you feel bad but refusing to build something useful out of it. The one upside is that embarrassment means you are more or less mentally normal, as a lack of embarrassment is a sign of psychopathy.
#13
That treating people with respect and being honest are not mutually exclusive
#15
I got a good one! I grew up and Brooklyn, New York. Believe it or not I never knew j walking was a thing. So when I was in my 20’s I ended up in Hawaii thanks to the military. I was crossing Kalākaua Ave in the middle of the street and two cops started yelling at me. They were yelling at me about j walking and I thought they were messing with me. I started laughing and told them that not real. One of them got real mad and wanted to detain me but his partner was like “ where you from? “ I told them Brooklyn and they both started laughing and explained to me that the rest of the U.S. has this thing called j walking. 😂😂 I felt pretty silly afterwards not knowing a pretty common law.
ScarletRos 1 year ago
I used to think jaywalking was actually walking in the shape of a J when you crossed the street.
You can also take heart in the knowledge that, well, knowledge is growing a lot faster than any of us can actually process it. In the English language alone, there are between 500’000 and 1’000’000 books published every year. Even at the lowest estimate, you would need to read 1369.86 books a day to keep up. This equals roughly 57 books an hour. Even the most prolific Goodreads liars are not likely to think that is possible. More importantly, no one around you is reading 57 books an hour, much less just one. And if you want to read what embarrassingly obvious things others learned late in life, check out our other articles here and here.
#16
The adults in my life never had it figured out either, they just made it seem like that to a kid.
#17
Stop expecting things to be fair
#18
If you come from a poor family, you have to work x3 as hard to get ahead.
#19
That the housework can wait awhile. To sit and enjoy the dinner I just cooked with my family. The dishes will still be there when I get to them, they ain't going anywhere lol
#20
That there are no guarantees, you may never find love, tragedy may befall you, you may not win, you may die alone.
#21
On a more serious note. I learned way too late that sometimes I was the bad guy.
I was raised in a house where everyone was so defensive. Nothing was ever anyone’s fault. I still jump on the defense with my husband now.
After some bad decisions and burned bridges I realized that not everyone is willing to overlook you doing something wrong if all you do is say it’s not your fault. You are sometimes the bad guy in someone’s story.
I find it really difficult to deal with my family after realizing this. But hey ho.
#22
Insurance and credit cards. Trying to figure out basic adult finance stuff without any guidance or help will force you to feel like an idiot for a long time.
Shane S 1 year ago
We NEED financial literacy education in schools. How to get a credit card. How to use it. How NOT to use it. What’s a deductible? What’s a copay? What’s in-network? .. And yes, we know our US healthcare system is horrible but it’s governmentally impossible to change it in at least the next two years, so we need to learn to work within the system we’ve got.
#23
That cows had to have had a calf to make milk. They don’t just make milk. I had to be a mom myself and nurse my kid when it dawned on me.
#24
The hole women pee out of isn’t the same hole they stick the tampon in
Kise Miarse 1 year ago
A lot of people (females included) don't figure this out right away. Definite failure in education.
#26
It never made sense to me that we would go under tables during an earthquake, because wouldnt the ground crack open? The table wouldnt do anything then?
Wasnt until last year I realised that it was to stop debris from falling on us. Smh
Karl Baxter 1 year ago
My old man told me that during WW2 the whole family hid underneath his grandma’s dining table during German air raids for the same reason
#27
Life is too short. Take the time to stop and smell the roses. RIP Myles grandpa loves and misses you
Lakota Wolf 1 year ago (edited)
Oh. EDIT: From OP on Reddit: "Watching my grandson die and unable to help. He passed at 29 days from heart issues and had multiple open heart surgeries."
#28
That not everyone has a storyline ongoing inside their heads.
I used to be inside my own and would laugh at things happening in my story, and everyone would look at me funny; so glad that I wear a mask now.
Stephanie Did It 1 year ago
I'm still trying to understand people who say they have no inner dialogue. Do they not realize that ideas, questions, opinions and even worries ARE the inner dialogue? No one's head is empty of thoughts. Or maybe I'm totally wrong.
#29
Why girls in high school often didn't participate during sports class.
"You don't feel well? Why don't you go home if your sick?"
10 years later: aaaaaaahhh...
Abigail Hill 1 year ago
In high school sports classes I always felt like I had to work extra hard when I was going through that or I'd be "weak"... for all of you still in that age, don't feel like that. It's not weak to need to rest when you're in pain. It's taking care of yourself. My mindset was not healthy. Please rest when you need to :)
#30
That my parents are human beings who make mistakes and not perfect divine beings
#31
That my happiness and feelings matter too. I have always felt that I was there to support others and being the best person I can, and all it lead to was people taking advantage of me or making me feel like I did something wrong if I wasn’t what they wanted. I don’t feel that way anymore. I am not going to apologize to people treating me like c**p anymore. I only put my energy into people that actually deserve it now.
#33
“Queue” is not pronounced like “kwee wee”. I learned this in a meeting at work when I mispronounced it.
#34
That sex is nothing to be ashamed of. I grew up in a strict, repressive household. Became sexually active at 18 but felt a lot of guilt over it which didn't go away for a couple years. Those feelings negatively impacted my relationship at that time.
#35
That there are tons of people out there who engage in sexual intercourse with other people not for the purpose of reproduction, but rather for enjoyment reasons, and that I am a part of a minority group of people called "asexuals".
I'm still trying to wrap my head around this, but it has gone a long way to explain why I see so many people in relationships with terrible people who don't want to leave, or why something as unfathomable as cheating to me can seem like something valid to many others.
#36
Actual hygiene. It wasn’t until I was 12 and went to summer camp for the first time that I realized when you shower you’re suppose to wash yourself with soap. I would just wash my hair and hangout for while because I liked the hot water, THANK GOD I DIDN’T SWEAT A LOT.
#38
Boundaries.
PunnyPanda 1 year ago
For real. Nobody modeled or taught me that s**t growing up. When I finally got it, it was like a bolt of lightning. Recently realized that most of the challenges in my life are related to poor boundaries and it definitely threw me through a loop.
#39
I learnt that we're supposed to brush both sides of our teeth . The inner side needs to be brushed as well.
I saw all of the commercials just showing them brushing the outer portion so i assumed that this is the way
#40
It was some point in high school, probably around 10th grade, that it was made clear to me that two non-infected gay men engaging in monogamous non-protected intercourse didn’t magically produce the hiv/aids. To be clear I literally thought the simple act of gay sex resulted in hiv/aids.
Did I say that out loud? 1 year ago
If OP was around in the early 80s like I was then, unfortunately, their beliefs are understandable. The hysteria and misinformation surrounding hiv/aids is difficult to comprehend now. In the UK, terms like "gay plague" were routinely used in the media.
#41
That I belonged to a cult
#42
Pickles are brined cucumbers. Only found out a few years ago. I'm about to turn 42.
#45
That male circumcision is not just a Jewish thing and that I'm circumcised
#46
Parents have names too, learned at like 9 or 10
Francesca Annoni 1 year ago
i have been teaching my kids their first and last names since they were 2...and my and my husbands names, and i have been teaching them our home address, you never know how important this information is when a child gets lost!
#47
My whole life is an embarrassment if that counts. I'm in my thirties and I still struggle with basics.
#49
How to brush my teeth.
I was super neglected as a child so that is something I've always struggled with and even after going to a dentist for 2 years and having exams every 4 months I only learned last month that you need to brush your gums 🤷🏻
#50
Riding a bike at 15
What do you think ?
Ranidae 1 year ago
About 2 years ago I saw the phrase "for all intents and purposes" in a book I read and thought it was a mistake... until I saw it again about a week later in a different book. I'd always thought it was "for all intensive purposes." I guess I had only heard it, not seen it written out before. I'm in my 40's. I still feel 🤦
Agfox 1 year ago
Technically known as a mondegreen https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen
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Ranidae 1 year ago
About 2 years ago I saw the phrase "for all intents and purposes" in a book I read and thought it was a mistake... until I saw it again about a week later in a different book. I'd always thought it was "for all intensive purposes." I guess I had only heard it, not seen it written out before. I'm in my 40's. I still feel 🤦
Agfox 1 year ago
Technically known as a mondegreen https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen
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