ADVERTISEMENT

The hardest thing about a failed relationship is the lessons after a breakup. They come at us when we are at our lowest moments when it seems like the world around us is against us. The rose-colored glasses come off, and reality hits us — we think about the mistakes we made and their consequences. After all, the best lessons are the ones that come from mistakes — yours or others’. But, if you are looking for a way of getting over a breakup, you have to accept the fact that you will change.

The best breakup and love lessons are the ones that help us change — for the better or worse. Change is good, especially after ending a loving relationship with a person you truly cared for. If the breakup was your mistake, you change for the better by looking at what you did and trying to become a better person. If the breakup came from your partner, then you might change for the worse — become more pessimistic and tend to write everything off as fake red flags. However, the life lessons that we learn in the process are always trying to help us. Sometimes, these lessons cost us our time, and other times — a piece of ourselves.

The best lessons of love are the ones that are clear in the message they are trying to convey. Break up, make up, and move on — if this lesson is not enough, other internet users have something to teach you. For example, Life_Rub6905 asked an interesting question on the popular AskReddit group — “What's the most valuable lesson you've learned from a failed relationship?” As with many hard lessons, some are more worthy of learning than others, so be sure to upvote the ones you liked. If you have a lesson of your own, share it in the comments below. Otherwise, if you have a friend going through a horrible breakup, share this list with them.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

Two colorful birds fighting on the ground "It's OK to argue. It's not OK to hurt each other when you argue.

It's OK to expect things from each other. It's not OK to keep score against your partner.

It's OK to have different views about living together. It's not OK to undermine the views of your partner."

Jakomus Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
21points
Add photo comments
POST
ukachukwuokpara avatar
Zephyr
Zephyr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a good piece of advice if both parties are matured intellectually

Vote comment up
2
2points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
You May Also Like:
#2

"Better to be alone than be with a person who makes you feel alone."

Creative-Aardvark558 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
21points
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#3

Happy woman standing with bouquet of tulips "No relationship is better than a bad relationship. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

UncertaintyP213 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
20points
Add photo comments
POST
#4

Small kid jumping in the middle of the road "Never stay for the kids. Sometimes a house divided is happier."

Superb_Sorbet_9562 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
19points
Add photo comments
POST
dreama-robinson35 avatar
MotherRobinson
MotherRobinson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I grew up like this too. My folks divorced when I was 21. I was happy for them. My mother has a very low opinion of marriage as a result of her divorce and is still hurt and resentful towards my father. My father remarried and moved on and is happy. I still have a good relationship with both of them.

Vote comment up
0
0points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#5

Man kissing a woman on forehead "You can genuinely love someone, or be genuinely loved by someone, and still be incompatible as relationship partners. Someone can genuinely love you and still hurt you terribly, unintentionally, purely just because of who and how they are; and you don't have to accept it and stay just because of the love."

HallowskulledHorror Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
18points
Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#6

Happy woman standing outside "If a person doesn’t let you be yourself, then they don’t want you, they just want something from you."

level 1 Embarrassed_Sea_544 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
17points
Add photo comments
POST
#7

"If someone has mental health issues it’s no justification for abuse."

NeiClaw Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
17points
Add photo comments
POST
#8

Pot full of money and a small plant "Make sure you have you’re financing in order to be able to walk away at any point, never find yourself financially trapped with someone you don’t want to be with."

reddit.com Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
16points
Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#9

"The effort the other party puts in is the amount they care. One person cannot solo-carry a relationship."

Fleadude55 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
16points
Add photo comments
POST
ukachukwuokpara avatar
Zephyr
Zephyr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But we try, shout out to those who do you have a heart big enough for two

Vote comment up
2
2points
Vote comment down
reply
#10

"If you break up, cut all contact with them. Don’t drag this out."

reddit.com Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
16points
Add photo comments
POST
cartoon-ghostss avatar
cartoon.ghostss
cartoon.ghostss
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My last boyfriend came out as aroace when we broke up and he's still one of my best friends. This isn't applicable to any relationship

Vote comment up
0
0points
Vote comment down
reply
ADVERTISEMENT
#11

Mothmaninfishnets said:
"Don’t lose yourself in your S/O it can be hard to find your own identity again after the relationship ends."

RiverLover27 replied:
"Agreed. After I left my first husband (musician/music snob), I remember listening to a new album I bought and wondering if I liked it. I genuinely didn’t know if I could ‘allow’ myself to, because he hadn’t told me if it was good or not. It makes me shake my head now, but it took so long to be able to make decisions for myself again."

Mothmaninfishnets Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
15points
Add photo comments
POST
#12

"Just because someone understands you doesn't mean they respect you."

BrokenAce255 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
15points
Add photo comments
POST
kw_5 avatar
K W
K W
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes people that are predatory or interpersonal exploitive have honed emotional intelligence because it helps them get what they want.

Vote comment up
0
0points
Vote comment down
reply
#13

Woman and man hugging and looking themself into the eyes while sitting on bean bag "You can't make people love you."

TinyAngryIndividual Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
15points
Add photo comments
POST
#14

Frozen animated movie scene "You have to let go when you know it's time to let go."

theyulz Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
15points
Add photo comments
POST
ukachukwuokpara avatar
Zephyr
Zephyr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

🎶 Let it go let it go I can't hold it back anymore 🎶 sorry I know low hanging fruit, couldn't help myself, I'll show myself out

Vote comment up
3
3points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#15

Abandoned boat with flags in an island's beach "Do not ignore any red flags in the beginning; they don’t go away or disappear with time."

ChileMonster505 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
14points
Add photo comments
POST
michelle_hawkins avatar
MichelleDonut
MichelleDonut
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If your partner's temper frightens you, and they won't agree to get into anger management therapy immediately, run! It never gets better.

Vote comment up
1
1point
Vote comment down
reply
#16

Man with a suitcase walking down the road "Get out the first time your gut told you to."

Best_Fondant_3027 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
14points
Add photo comments
POST
jbunting242 avatar
RabidChild
RabidChild
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And don't go back. When they show you who they really are, believe them.

Vote comment up
1
1point
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#17

Taylor Swift pointing fingers at herself "Sometimes I am the problem."

auntiepink007 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
13points
Add photo comments
POST
#18

Woman laying and looking forward "If you think they're lying, they probably are. Trust your instincts."

NICEnEVILmike Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
13points
Add photo comments
POST
kw_5 avatar
K W
K W
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OK but I love that this photo is from a movie about a sociopath married to a narcissist.

Vote comment up
1
1point
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#19

Man on a rock in a beach "Some people's destiny is to be alone (and I can say that after 20 yrs since my divorce at 40, it's wonderful)."

red_echer Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
13points
Add photo comments
POST
#20

"What you put with you end up with."

Possible-Reality4100 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
12points
Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#21

"What you say to your significant other matters. Words cut very deeply and sometimes those wounds don't heal."

r2wa Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
12points
Add photo comments
POST
#22

Person standing on the mountain on a sunrise "People change. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, sometimes for themselves, and sometimes for other people. Sometimes, they don't even notice that they've changed. Sometimes they do.

The person you've got together with may have been a lovely person. But a single event can change them into an entirely different person. Be it a diagnosis, death in the family, losing a job, or something else."

BandicootSVK Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
11points
Add photo comments
POST
#23

Man putting a wedding ring on woman's finger "Wait at least a year more than you originally think you should prior to getting married. Discuss deal breakers with your partner and make sure both of you understand what will endanger the relationship."

WagonHitchiker Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
11points
Add photo comments
POST
ukachukwuokpara avatar
Zephyr
Zephyr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can prepare as much as you like but humans will behave like humans and still f**k s**t up

Vote comment up
4
4points
Vote comment down
reply
#24

"All the love and support in the world can't fix a broken person that isn't trying to fix themselves."

ihatetwizzlers Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
11points
Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#25

"Find someone who wants to be with you and does not NEED to be with you. Both parties being independent and strong are crucial."

720hp Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
11points
Add photo comments
POST
#26

Woman holding hands on man's face and both are smiling "Be thankful for the love they could give and be thankful for the love they couldn't, for there are lessons in both."

Mega5010 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
11points
Add photo comments
POST
#27

Person thinking statue "You never REALLY know what's going on in someone else's head."

majesticalexis Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
10points
Add photo comments
POST
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#28

"To choose my partner and see if we are compatible instead of changing myself to fit them or picking the first one that's interested in me."

zreine Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
10points
Add photo comments
POST
#29

"Sometimes you can be two good people who just want different things for your futures. Your relationship didn't fail. It just ran the course it needed to.

My first love was someone I truly expected to marry, but he wanted children and wanted his dream job in the Midwest. I didn't want children, and I wanted a life full of international travel and living by the ocean. There were a lot of tears and grief in realizing we had to let each other go. We're now both in our forties and each living the lives we wanted in very different places. I look back on our time together with nothing but fondness. We can still learn from people and not end up with them."

Weird-Traditional Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
10points
Add photo comments
POST
jbunting242 avatar
RabidChild
RabidChild
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We need to face the fact that humans do not mate for life. If that were true lifelong marriages would be easier to achieve more common. Even in nature pairing for life is not the norm.

Vote comment up
1
1point
Vote comment down
reply
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#30

Man and woman with candles on a mountain overlooking the city "You should never have to beg, but you should be willing to ask. For anything and everything you want in a relationship. Date nights, flowers, chores getting done, etc. I get that asking a million times sucks, but some people will never be the ones to think to do the task on their own. But if you have to beg, plead, yell, fight, for those basics, then what you actually need to do is leave."

GenericNerdGirl Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
10points
Add photo comments
POST
#31

"Opposites might attract but similarities are what keeps people together."

letsgoooo90091 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
10points
Add photo comments
POST
ukachukwuokpara avatar
Zephyr
Zephyr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too much similarities makes relationships become stagnant

Vote comment up
2
2points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#32

"If you break up once, don't go back for another try. They're still the same person, and so are you. There are always exceptions to the rule, but not many."

Dazzling-Concept Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
10points
Add photo comments
POST
#33

Woman smiling "No relationship is strong enough to make you feel loved and appreciated if you hate yourself."

TheHouseOfApples Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
10points
Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#34

Woman with closed eyes holding a hand on her heart "To love myself more and never put someone else on a pedestal."

-denisaioana Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
9points
Add photo comments
POST
#35

"In general I have learned how to identify and deal with a narcissist."

Commander_Cold Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
9points
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#36

"Love isn’t enough."

reddit.com Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
9points
Add photo comments
POST
rennak-lily09 avatar
River wolf
River wolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wish it was, but if so, I would already have a girlfriend… then again, there’s still a chance.

Vote comment up
1
1point
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#37

Man smiling sarcastically "That Narcissists don't change."

Highness_7 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
9points
Add photo comments
POST
#38

"If someone says they don’t love you believe them the first time."

Legitimate_Length263 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
9points
Add photo comments
POST
#39

"Love is not like a rollercoaster, up (you are treated like a god) and down (you are treated like a demon). It's more like a slow river, calm and peaceful. This peace is what I have in my current relationship."

IdeMoraes Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
9points
Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#40

"Establish better boundaries."

ConstructionThick146 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
9points
Add photo comments
POST
#41

"Communication without action is just complaining. I'd lay out what problems we were having only to be told I'd need to be patient but nothing was ever acted on. I ran out of patience."

id_drownformermaids Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
8points
Add photo comments
POST
#42

"Just because you take responsibility for your shortcomings doesn’t mean they will."

SeasonalBeing Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
8points
Add photo comments
POST
#43

Woman sitting on a bench overlooking a city "Doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together some relationships aren’t worth saving and you’ll be better off without them."

reddit.com Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
8points
Add photo comments
POST
#44

"Don't endure abuse thinking they'll suddenly realize they're being abusive and love you more for staying."

Glass-Load1425 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
8points
Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#45

Two persons hands in the sky "That you should not be in a relationship to 'save' someone from themselves or help them 'escape' a difficult time in their lives."

workruneatsleep Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
7points
Add photo comments
POST
ukachukwuokpara avatar
Zephyr
Zephyr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because they'll choose for themselves when they're better and you may not like their choice, avoid heartbreak

Vote comment up
2
2points
Vote comment down
reply
#46

Woman and man hugging and sitting on the bench "That love isn't as forever as it feels at the time.

It can really hurt. It's so hard to walk away, especially after years of closeness. It feels like the end of the world.

But with time, that pain becomes only a dull ache that may at times spring up like a longing for that one amazing summer in your teens or that extra special vacation you took in 2004.

I am not going to be cliché and talk about time healing all wounds, but I do think love — and the pain of love's loss — is temporary in the grand scheme of life. Humans have proven through history to be resilient, and you are human."

UnyieldingConstraint Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
7points
Add photo comments
POST
#47

"Stand up for myself. Be myself."

irqee Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
7points
Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#48

"That my life and my needs should come first. If I can’t prioritize my own happiness, I’ll never connect enough to prioritize anyone else’s."

Compulsive-Gremlin Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
7points
Add photo comments
POST
#49

"Don't wait for the 'right time' to break up. There is never a right time or a good time to do it and holding on for that perfect moment just traps you in a miserable relationship longer than you need to be."

Cold_Hour Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
7points
Add photo comments
POST
#50

Two girls cycling in a mountain track "Make sure you have SOMETHING in common besides your job first."

HaCo111 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
6points
Add photo comments
POST
#51

"Even if someone is acting like you’re in a relationship, if they say they don’t want one, they’ll never commit."

winterfern353 Report

Vote arrow up
Vote arrow down
5points
Add photo comments
POST
mariah_gabrich avatar
Belladonna.dreams
Belladonna.dreams
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was "with" someone for 2 years. Everytime I'd ask where I stood with him he'd respond with "why do we need to put a label on it? Lets take it one day at a time" then was accused of cheating when I slept with someone else.

Vote comment up
0
0points
Vote comment down
reply
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!