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Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers

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In a world governed by unattainable beauty standards, photo editing, plastic surgeries, flawless skin, timeless youth, perfect smiles and… the list is endless, appearance is something that it seems our society is wildly obsessed with.

A national survey from Allure found that the first thing 64% of people notice about someone is how attractive he or she is. And half of us—that's every other person—think appearance defines us significantly or completely. Now think of the professional careers, job interviews, dates, and overall success, and it clicks—the way we see beauty has indeed a very ugly side.

So when someone asked women on Reddit this uncomfortable question, “What are the lesser-known problems of being an unattractive woman?” the brutally honest and often sad responses started flowing in.

Below are some of the most revealing ones that should really make us all stop and reflect on why we judge others so much and how we can change that.

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#1

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers People being rude to you, especially men. If they’re not attracted to you, then you don't deserve respect nor decency.

dontbesuspecious1 , Keira Burton Report

Final score:

263points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

This extends to disabled women and women with chronic illnesses. “You have diabetes because you are overweight” and “it’s a lifestyle choice”. I was BORN with it as are many so how is that a lifestyle choice? Cruel

99points

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#2

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers If a skinny, pretty girl dresses super casual with no effort, it’s cute and trendy, but if I do it I’m lazy and don’t care about my looks.

loalenatrice , Andres Ayrton Report

Final score:

261points

Stefan 3 years ago

Skinny and pretty are two different things.

43points

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#3

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers When someone does genuinely find you attractive and you think it's a joke

taco_h0e , Callum Shaw Report

Final score:

241points

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)

I find it hard to believe and accept compliments about my looks. I also don't think my friends and family who say things like that are liars coz that's insulting to them. So I just say thank you with an awkward laugh. It's all so confusing.

48points

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We reached out to the author of this Reddit thread who said he believes that we all live in a world that’s too obsessed with looks. According to BaymaxTheBot, “everyone has social media and if you do not have it, it seems that something must be wrong with you. We take 1000 pictures of ourselves to share the one we think we look the best in.”

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According to the author who posted the question on r/AskWomen, sharing your selfies on social media is one of the easiest ways to receive external validation. Moreover, “everyone chases confidence and a boost to their self-esteem. That's what gets you hooked to social media; the constant need to seek this feeling of self-reassurance,” he said.

#4

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers As a fat woman: not being able to go to 90% of my doctor's visits without my weight being brought up. I mean, that's fine in a checkup or physical, but if I go in because I have a sinus infection, I don't really feel the need to discuss how fat I am right at that moment unless it's somehow going to clear up my sinus infection.

Electronic-Cow7250 , cottonbro Report

Final score:

231points

Alexandra Nara 3 years ago (edited)

Nope ...it's even dangerous if a doctor is always focussed on weight. My doc was so obsessiv blaming my weight for every issue she didn't notice some cancerous cysts-she was just not looking for other reasons. And each feeling " something is wrong with my body" makes me a hypochondric - cause " fat persons don't have a feeling for their own body" Lost my trust to many docs because of this and sadly- I know I'm not the only one And by the way - my BMI is " only" 30, I do yoga and trail-trecking and have hashimoto syndrom-Most docs know that and ignore it still.

94points

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#5

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers Oh, I'm excited for this one. I'm pretty attractive, I get hit on regularly - I'm attractive enough to appeal to a wide swathe of individuals, but not so attractive as to be intimidating.

But I wasn't always, for five years I was fat because of medication. Last year, I got super toned and lost the weight when I went off the meds. I'm now training for competitive powerlifting.

I was cute before I gained the weight, but somehow, my thirties have been amazing - this weight loss left me with anime eyes and cut cheekbones, a look I've never had before.

I am treated better in every facet of my life and it has given me genuine body dysmorphia that I have been in therapy for.

Men offer me free things, they constantly hit on me; women ask for advice constantly, and all ANYONE wants to discuss is how I look, which is the least interesting f**king thing about me.

Pretty privilege and thin privilege are absolutely real, and the worst part is finding out that my biggest fear - that I was worth less to society when I weighed more - was absolutely f**king true.

Thanks, society, for the super awesome body dysmorphia you have now given me.

What's interesting is that I spent so many years in the shadows that I have zero interest in coming out of them anymore, but just like when I was fat, people think they have some sort of right to discuss my appearance blatantly.

It's disgusting, and all it does is show how incredibly undervalued women are for anything other than our looks.

Final score:

207points

Jihana 3 years ago

Yeah, I feel this one. I have always been fat. But about 20 years ago I lost a lot of weight due to mental health problems. I only ate about an apple a day and nothing else. I was slim but not unhealthy looking, because of course I still had that thyroid problem. It was CRAZY how people treated me once I was slim, even my own family was nicer. Of course once my depression was over and I started to eat normally again I gained all that weight back, and of course I got invisible again. I always resented the attention I got when I was slim, because I always knew that people were never interested in ME, only in my looks. I am strangely relieved that men leave me alone now, being ugly is a great way to filter out the shallow types.

72points

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#6

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers That no matter how often your significant other tells you that you’re beautiful, you constantly compare yourself to more attractive women and feel that you’ll never be enough.

Warai-Kitten , Alex Green Report

Final score:

191points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

Gave that up years ago. It leads nowhere happy

30points

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When asked what he thought of the overwhelming responses his questions received, the Redditor said he did not expect this amount of attention nor this amount of people relating in some way.

When it comes to judging others by their appearance, BaymaxTheBot said that it really depends on the person, but usually, “we put an emphasis on appearance because it's the first thing we notice about the other and according to this perception we are more or less willing to associate with someone.”

#7

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers People thinking that you don't have the right to like yourself or thinking that your confidence is 'brave.' F**k off.

GettingThere1212 , Jeff Denlea Report

Final score:

188points

Sedona 3 years ago

And if I post a picture of myself I'm automatically promoting obesity....

49points

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#8

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers Spending ages trying to dress up nicely only to go outside and realize that everyone else is still a million times more attractive than you.

Ethereal-Glow , Polina Tankilevitch Report

Final score:

176points

Chithra Warrier 3 years ago

Exactly. I can't express how much I relate to this it's so true. My parents keep telling me that I look good but afterwards once you go outside you still feel ugly. Worst feeling in the world.

31points

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#9

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers Being invisible next to your friends. They're all having fun, and you just sit there, and no one is talking to you

khajiitidanceparty , Lisa Report

Final score:

157points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

The they aren’t your friends then if they do that

78points

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#10

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers Unsolicited weight loss/health advice (that is often wrong and does not consider my health at all) and unsolicited advice on how to be attractive to men.

loalenatrice , Andres Ayrton Report

Final score:

142points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

Keep it to yourself. You don’t have the right nor do you know what’s going on mentally or medically

25points

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#11

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers That you should be grateful that any man wants to sleep with you and it’s selfish to think that you deserve to be in a relationship with respect. I’m apparently fine to sleep with but heaven forbid they take me outside the house and be seen with me even if they themselves aren’t conventionally attractive.

bbbbbbb9999 , Jaymantri Report

Final score:

140points

littlesaresare 3 years ago

Yep. You just have to tolerate the abuse, because you sure as hell will never deserve better.

19points

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#12

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers It’s a lot harder in the office. Women have a hard enough time rising to higher ranks or being taken seriously but it’s very annoying when the pretty women are taken more seriously. Heck same is true for men. Good looks win jobs

Nancy2421 , Sigmund Report

Final score:

121points

Tami 3 years ago (edited)

I worked in an engineering group, and it didn't seem like this at all. The female engineers mostly had average features that they didn't much enhance with makeup, and many didn't wear any makeup; some were overweight, some were not, and they tended to dress in line with the guys in their group—business casual for the older set, jeans and T-shirts among the young people.

7points

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#13

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers Most men assumed that I was going to be easy — as in easy to have sex with — because they think I have no self-esteem and seek validation with sex.

_Lilith_89 , cottonbro Report

Final score:

115points

Zwiebel Suppe 3 years ago

And even if you are ok with "being easy" because you, too, want to have casual sex, they'd still look down on you somehow and be disgusted in a way. That is so twisted.

41points

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#14

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers Fewer job opportunities. Attractiveness plays a part in getting hired.

marymoon77 , fauxels Report

Final score:

110points

Jihana 3 years ago

After I lost my job one of my former colleagues told me: "Well, now you have time to lose weight. Just only eat every second day, and you even can get grumpy now because we won't see it. I mean...you can't go to a job interview looking like this" F*ck you, Katharina!

44points

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#15

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers People constantly trying to fix me. My aunty asked me how I was going to get a man with a body like mine and my dressing style. Mind you, she is pushing 50 with no man, but OK.

Forsaken-Vermicelli3 , Dương Nhân Report

Final score:

110points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

I don’t need fixing thanks

28points

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#16

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers Empathy and sympathy. People want to comfort you when you're the cute, pretty crier, protect you. I rarely see ugly people being the face of depression or mental illness on social media.

Not so much when you're ugly. It's kind of just awkward.

PikaBooSquirrel , Liza Summer Report

Final score:

96points

D. Pitbull 3 years ago

Ohhh.. .no, when you're not considered "pretty" - when you're upset, crying or otherwise needing support people get ANGRY with you... they get *irritated* that you're wasting their time and "making a scene" and "overreacting"... you also get LOTS of reminders about how you should be super grateful for the little scraps of pity thrown at you ... you know... things like ... lucky that you weren't abandoned as a baby.

14points

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#17

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers Sometimes I feel bad for my partner, thinking he's embarrassed or could do better.

Sensitiverock85 , freestocks.org Report

Final score:

91points

Helenium 3 years ago

Before i married my skinny super handsome husband i said he can call it off as he can do better with someone prettier as im over weight, i ha an eating disorder and lost aton of weight but then i put it back on double, still married me and i said if you find someone else in the mean time i wont blame you at all

19points

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#18

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers When I was fat, they would hit on my significant other right in front of me. When I’m slim, they look at him and immediately look at the floor and walk away.

catniagara , Katerina Holmes Report

Final score:

90points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

The double standard is disgusting

37points

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#19

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers I lost a lot of weight after getting married & you'd be surprised how many people have said to me "Awww, he loved you for what you were on the inside!" The implication of course being he didn't find me attractive before but for some reason pursued me anyway - girl, what?

Cyclibant , Jennifer Burk Report

Final score:

87points

Anzelle Van Der Vyver 3 years ago

This is funny, why would he marry you if he didn't like / love you!!! People are so shallow really! I hope you have many more happy years of marriage!

20points

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#20

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers I was treated differently than my attractive friends. People were less helpful to me, left me out of everything (especially photos), and only wanted me around when it suited them.

Ethereal-Glow , Mor Shani Report

Final score:

84points

MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago

Ever have a photo studio photographer argue with their colleague who will take your photo? I don't like photographers for this reason. They always seem annoyed and angry with me while being so nice to everyone else in the group.

14points

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#21

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers I was ugly as a pre-teen and teenager, and whenever I said that some other woman was mean to me, I just got told “oh you are just jealous of them!”. Like, wtf, no?!

It also felt like people were able to bully me as much as they wanted to and that my claims were untrue. Just because I was ugly doesn’t mean I was lying. Somehow ppl just trust attractive people more for some crazy reason.

These days I’m cute, but I don’t put much effort in. Sometimes people get annoyed at me for not “using my potential”. No, I don’t wanna spend 1h each morning applying makeup. Who do I wanna impress? I’m cute enough to not be treated like s**t, and I have no desire to be hit on or looked at by every random dude. Let me just live my life ok?

Cute_Mousse_7980 , M. Report

Final score:

83points

Ross Warren 3 years ago

I blame the media. Did you ever notice that the heroic character is almost always attractive while the villain is usually ugly?

40points

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#22

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers I think growing up the “ugly duckling” can have bad effects on your mind and cause you to put up with bad behaviour from men. I legit thought I was ugly and unlovable and that I was lucky to have any guy interested, so I had a beggars mindset and put up with his terrible behaviour.

It’s now that I realise that I had actually had a glow up and hadn’t realised. I look at old photos and see a beautiful young woman. I was just so stuck in my past that I couldn’t embrace myself or be confident.

Your perception of yourself really does determine how you let others treat you

thanarealnobody , Zhivko Minkov Report

Final score:

81points

ZAPanda 3 years ago

absolutely. I remember kids at school telling me i was ugly, then the other day i showed a picture of myself at 16 to a female friend and she was like, "OMG if you were at my school you would have been jumped by all of us!" so... yeah. your self-image is generally false.

24points

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#23

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers That specific feeling when everyone gathers to take a group picture and hands the phone to me to take it. Ouch

jupiterjazz87 , NordWood Themes Report

Final score:

76points

Deja Katz 3 years ago

I’d f**k it up every time

16points

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#24

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers People leaving you for your best friend when they realise she's prettier.

No she hasn't ever gotten with them, but they've left with the intention of getting with her

blopdab , Claudia Wolff Report

Final score:

69points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

She’s a good friend if she’s blown that fantasy time after time in defence of you

47points

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#25

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers Being called sir in shops. Not being able to contribute to the conversation when other women share stories of men hitting on them because it never happens

vpetmad , Anastasiya Gepp Report

Final score:

65points

Julie C Rose 3 years ago

I’ve hardly ever had to deal with being creeped on and I’m glad about that. That stuff can be scary.

19points

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#26

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers well as a chubby and “ugly” person, most often people think you are dumb and uninteresting and you have no right to date/like attractive people because they are out of your league. when I was a teen people would say straight to my face that I was ugly…they don’t say it anymore, but I can feel it…ahahah

dallasdina , Daniela Dávila Report

Final score:

64points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

I have an indent in my left temple from major brain surgery 8 years ago. I am sick and tired of people trying to get me to fix it. It’s fine and any cosmetic surgery won’t work because of the plates underneath. All it does by bringing attention to it is make people feel less than

27points

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#27

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers Guys lying saying you're obsessed with them just to get other girls to laugh and be like "eww really??"

Krazygirl1234 , Kat Smith Report

Final score:

61points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

Cruel

16points

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#28

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers I hate when people comment or say, 'I wanna have your self-esteem/confidence!' as if it was a compliment. It isn't — they're just using other words to call the person ugly.

tealgirl94 , Vinicius Wiesehofer Report

Final score:

60points

Caro Caro 3 years ago (edited)

Women can do this to other women. It's not alway about looks but sometimes these women are themselves so terribly insecure and don't understand how the secure woman can be so confident (or seems like she is confident).

22points

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#29

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers A guy telling me "He usually wasn't attracted to women like me" in other words fat girls.

Seriously

einahpetsg , Laura Tancredi Report

Final score:

60points

Caro Caro 3 years ago

So you took off your stiletto shoe and shoved it up his a$$?

41points

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#30

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers Being 21 and knowing there is a big chance you have to live your life alone and never getting married.

Lots of people gonna say nooo you find the right one eventually but then I always think of my teacher who looked like me and she was 50, never been married and living alone with two cats.

daydreaming-g , Ekaterina Report

Final score:

58points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

Don’t underestimate the peace of living with animals

89points

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#31

Being told to wear different clothes because they'd suit me better and to wear makeup because it brings out my best features.

Yes that's true, but why should I put in that much effort when you're the one that cares, not me.

love_Carlotta Report

Final score:

29points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

Don’t wear it. I prefer not to have pimples

7points

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#32

If you're an ugly, unattractive, or (especially) overweight woman, expect to have to work harder to get a job, raise, or promotion. Even women discriminate against other women in favor of the more attractive candidate--even if the unattractive/overweight woman is cleary more qualified. Not all, but many. I've faced this many times.

unimaginableUnicorns Report

Final score:

29points

Ivana 3 years ago

I think this one should be higher. Attention from random men isn't something to envy but being seen as more valuable at work is.

6points

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#33

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers That it automatically means I don't take care of myself, that I don't care about how I look/what I eat/my health and so on. People who don't take care of themselves are often seen as unattractive (even though they probably have mental health issues) which then compounds how ugly you are seen to be.

Otherwise-Status-Err , Kat Smith Report

Final score:

27points

Gelato Cat 3 years ago

I feel bad, because I always have an airy quality around me, or I look anxious or something else unpleasant, mental illnesses and mental diagnostics can get physical and I hate it

4points

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#34

I've found that being ugly, or at least, perceiving yourself as ugly and not being at peace with it, can lead to heavily holding yourself back. You take fewer social risks, assume people dislike you, and just generally self-isolate. And with those who accept you for who you are, you feel that you have to be overly agreeable and funny to keep them around. Taking as little space as possible becomes the goal.

The sad thing is, most of my ugly features are the result of poverty and untreated mental health issues from my childhood. I suspect this is the truth for a lot of people--money and adequate healthcare goes a long way. For a lot of people, appearance is a major class indicator. Of course, fatphobia, racism, sexism, and agism also come into play.

I know I'm below average, but I am much happier at times where I am simply indifferent to my looks. I think that studying art and human anatomy really helps, because you start to find a real appreciation for all the different kinds of faces and bodies in the world. The best people to draw are often very unusual looking!

It may also help that I'm on the asexual spectrum. Other people seem to care a LOT about attractiveness. I still often wonder if 'hotness' is just this weird fake concept that we've all agreed to pretend makes sense. Apparently, for most people, appearances can even make them faintly aroused, I guess? For them, I can only imagine that that adds a lot of weight to the importance of looks; arousal is pretty powerful stuff.

quagmaia Report

Final score:

26points

MyOpinionHasBeenServed 3 years ago

This resonates with me the most.

3points

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#35

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers People, mostly men, telling me it’s “inspiring” that I don’t wear makeup. I’m not trying to make a statement or empower women, I literally just hate wearing it lol. It reminded me of how people would tell a fat woman who posted a bikini pic on social media that she’s inspiring or that they’re “proud of her”. Why can’t we just be told that we’re pretty or beautiful

kaylintendo , Anderson Guerra Report

Final score:

23points

Kanuli 3 years ago

Maybe you should not have to be told you are beautiful, because that’s subjective anyway. And the only judgment that should count should be your own. So let me ask: why don’t you find yourself beautiful? And do you have to be told that, for it to be false/true?

3points

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#36

It impacts the way you allow yourself to feel pleasure - the way you feel about your body drastically impacts how good you allow yourself to feel through it. Whether it's dancing or sex, if you feel like your body being seen is shameful, it really hinders you from enjoying it fully.

peachandpeony Report

Final score:

22points

Anzelle Van Der Vyver 3 years ago

This is true for me too...

4points

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#37

It’s not the fact that we want men to pay attention to us, that isn’t it. It’s that we are invisible when our more conventionally attractive friends are around. I can’t tell you how many times my hot friends and I have been out somewhere and I end up just wandering away because it feels SO awkward that these men are like, so afraid that I’ll take even a friendly introduction as “I’m interested in this ugly girl” that they will meet everyone, say hi, talk to them etc and just pretend I’m not standing there. Bro I’m not trying to get into your pants but it’s f**king weird when you pretend I’m a house plant

Alexa, play “Lower Your Expectations” by Bo Burnham

f**k_you__shoresy Report

Final score:

22points

Christina L 3 years ago

If your friends can't sense how uncomfortable you are and can't see for themselves how you are being treated as though you are invisible, yet continue to engage with the ones who are treating you this way, you may need new friends. Just my perspective.

0points

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#38

Putting make-up on and suddenly getting all the compliments and attention you always wanted. It doesn't make me feel better it makes me feel like I have to be perfect to be given the same energy as others.

onyxxu20 Report

Final score:

20points

Zephyr Anthem 3 years ago

When it happens to me i'm like "great, you'd rather have me to not being myself"... F*ck off... i'l keep being me and wear what i want when i want to ...

3points

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#39

People not wanting to be friends with you for being ugly. I'm the ugly one bro why are YOU mad about it?

taco_h0e Report

Final score:

20points

buttonpusher 3 years ago

Then there's the other end of it. Women who are only friends with "ugly" people so that they look better and don't have competition. People can be crap.

5points

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#40

You can't get help. When you seriously need it for something regarding your work or life.

But when people give you attention (without asking) you know something is up and they are trying to use you.

_________Ello Report

Final score:

20points

Ravens Mom 3 years ago

1000% relate

0points

#41

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers When I was fat, 99% of the rare attention I received was from dudes who clearly saw me this way. I was frequently fetishized.

rizaroni , Andres Ayrton Report

Final score:

19points

Monday 3 years ago

Well that's...normal in a sense. Just like 99% of the initial attention you'll receive from guys when you're skinny will be from dudes who are attracted to that body type. What I don't understand is why is it "normal" to be attracted to slender bodies but "a fetish" to be attracted to larger bodies?

25points

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#42

The way my body distributes and holds fat is basically the reverse of what would be accepted in today’s (american) beauty standards: top heavy, hold fat in my face. I hate getting my picture taken because it’s so easy to have a bad angle. My mom always does this thing where she insists on taking photos when I’m around (either by myself or with other family) and she will spend minutes directing me on how to hold my face and angle my head and to lessen my smile and open my eyes wider to try and improve the picture. I think she means well but it is very humiliating and I end up hating the picture anyway.

Significant_Spud_ Report

Final score:

19points

Anzelle Van Der Vyver 3 years ago

Wow, you should talk to your mom about this - it will cause more issues in the future. Some people don't like taking photos and some do, and if you are someone that doesn't like getting your picture taken but they insisted on taking a photo then they should let you pose the way you want to.

9points

#43

I have a bit of a different answer to this. A lot of other comments have mentioned being treated worse by other people and being denied opportunities. While this is true, I've found that a lack of confidence has been far more damaging and made me self sabotage several times, which I'm sure would not have happened if I was conventionally attractive. I let my physical unattractiveness bleed into insecurities about literally everything else about me when I had no reason to.

Yes, I had fewer people attracted to me romantically, but even at my heaviest and peak unattractiveness I did have really great guys interested in me. I sabotaged all of it and never ended up dating them because of my insecurities. Ditto for career opportunities, especially since in my field, people giving preference to good looking people isn't much of a thing thankfully.

For ages I was blaming my unattractiveness for my lack of a love life and it was a bitter pill to swallow when I finally realised it was my insecurities which held me back a lot more than unattractiveness.

Final score:

18points

Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago

I know that feeling, and I know it is unjustified. Your low self-esteem tells you that your shitty life is because of your behavior, of your insecurities... That's BS. The only thing that held you back was the hatred you received from people for being ugly. There is no self-sabotage, you are just the innocent victim of the unfairness of life. I know it is more comfortable to assume that it was your fault, but it takes a lot of self-awareness to admit the truth : it was not your fault, that's just the world that's shitty.

3points

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#44

Totally different types of social interactions.

When I'm all made up and beautiful what I usually get are sleasy comments and unsolicited chivalry (like a man would give me his place in a bathroom queue in a bar, but then he would come to my table and expect me to chat with him for it)

But when I'm wearing an old hoodie and no makeup, things go differently: people are more likely to be rude, like in the same bar the same man would cut me in the same bathroom line.

Both are equally bad, but they hit different places and I feel like it is the source of women misogyny. If everyone is always rude to you, you start to think that those beautiful girls get it so easy, and you lose track of how bad they can have it, and vice versa.

Capybarinya Report

Final score:

18points

Cecily Holland 3 years ago

It’s not a reflection on you but them

7points

#45

People getting sickly sweet and telling you ' you're soooooo beautifullllll' when you simply ask them how something looks on you. The both of us know they're faking it.

themorbidmango Report

Final score:

18points

Christina L 3 years ago

"You have such a pretty face!" I hate that one! Like, what?

1point

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#46

Kindness. I am not overweight, I used to be, but I’ve been all over the board with weight. I think I am just an ugly woman. Men and women are not very kind to you if you are not pretty. They will treat you like you are invisible or not worth acknowledging. They will cut in line. They will give you the pity look.

NekoNekoEri_Eiko Report

Final score:

18points

Caro Caro 3 years ago

Please stop calling yourself ugly.

2points

#47

Someone Asks About The “Lesser-Known Problems Of Being An Unattractive Woman,” They Give 30 Heartbreaking Answers The intense anxiety that arises during family events when it’s photo time. My cousins are all very beautiful and love posting to Instagram and all that. My family is big on photos. I’m the only one who isn’t photogenic at all. I have a lazy eye, and my face is just generally asymmetrical.

angel_aight , PICHA Report

Final score:

17points

Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago

I can relate. I hated photos, and now I do even more since my hips ballooned and my chest stayed flat.

4points

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#48

Having the office dress code unfairly enforced on you. There is a dress code at work. For years it was not enforced and everyone dressed casually until the new manager showed up. Suddenly I needed to wear shirts with a collar and she would”let me continue wearing jeans”. Everyone else could wear anything they wanted including, yoga pants, t shirts with graphics, jeggings, skin tight pants, cargo pants, cotton shirts that were not ironed, sneakers, etc.

She had ever right to enforce the dress code, but not just on the fat employee.

pokeylittlepuppie Report

Final score:

17points

Helenium 3 years ago

i worked in a clothes shop and they had a competition for worst dressed, guess who won as im over weight and wear baggy things, also pulled in to the office for not wearing make up, i didnt have time and im depressed, its hard enought o get out of bed

10points

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#49

If you complain about anything (valid) Ex.

-getting s**ttier assignments at work

-not getting credit you deserve for assignment

-point out something unfair that was said to you by co-worker

you are met with...

'she's just jealous'

CuspChaser111 Report

Final score:

17points

#50

Being overlooked and ignored.

Final score:

14points

LongCoolWomanInABlackDress 2 years ago

personally I see that as bliss. I don't like drawing attention, and while no one would look at me when seated they do stare when I get up because I seem to be freakishly tall (6ft, female). I hate it.

0points

#51

I’m short and fat. I’m what people call cute, which is annoying. I’m never the one people notice. I hate getting pictures taken because I am a lot bigger than I was 10 years ago. Barley have any friends, so that’s not a problem.

Itchy-Bitch Report

Final score:

14points

Pearl 3 years ago

I'm sure Barley doesn't have friends. But you do! Friends that care bout you.

5points

#52

Its actually just really nice. I was attractive when I was younger and couldn’t even step out of the house without getting hit on.

Its bloody lovely to walk the streets now and know nobody would want to touch me because they find it hard just to look at me hahaaaaa.

fluent_flatulence Report

Final score:

13points

Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago

You just described my life but this is kinda of mean at the same time... Sometimes comments like this are the opposite of helpful.

4points

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#53

Having to save your friends at bars from unwanted or awkward interactions with the many guys that flock to your attractive friends. Almost like a designated unattractive friend

Final score:

13points

Claire Stanfield 3 years ago

Have had to do this many times, but never thought it reflected on me. We have to look out for each other.

0points

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#54

Im not unattractive but I am not a sexy woman. Im 32 but i still look 18 so men dont take me seriously especially in the office, they assume I am not competent due to me being a petite girl meanwhile my co worker whose is a leggy beautiful woman gets all the attention. Sad reality

Final score:

13points

ZAPanda 3 years ago

TBH on this one, you need to just outshine them so much that they burn up in your flame. Outdo them at everything. Make them suffer. You definitely do not want or need their attention.

5points

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#55

Never getting out of minor traffic infractions. Always being the point of access from suitors wanting to date your attractive friends/siblings. Only getting invited to social events because your attractive friend was invited. Having to find new ways to accentuate your attractive qualities, such as intelligence, humor, domestic skills, talents, self sufficiency, etc as you can’t just look at us and find us attractive. This list goes on.

Significant_Spud_ Report

Final score:

11points

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Liucija Adomaite

Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

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I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

What do you think ?

Paula Marowsky 3 years ago (edited)

Being not able to look at you in the mirror, because you really don't like what you see. Or people telling you how "ugly ducklings" became beauty pageant princesses if they put enough effort to it... meaning you could use some surgical enhancement.

13points

Samantha Lomb 3 years ago (edited)

Just get rid of mirrors. It works for me. Much happier without. And of course ignore Shitlord Ryan. He really never has anything nice to say.

2points

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Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago

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Suz66 3 years ago

Do you ever have anything nice to say? You're comments are always so hurtful!

6points

Kitty Jordan 3 years ago (edited)

It saddens me to see how many of these say, "As a fat woman...". I understand that our culture promotes the ideal that skinny is the only way to be pretty, but it perpetuates the idea that any woman can be pretty if only they would lose weight, which is not the case. (And I'm saying this out of personal experience. I am not an attractive woman. That's okay, I think I'm pretty intelligent and funny and have other attributes to make up for it. But the truth is, I was not attractive when I was 135 lbs. and I was not attractive when I was 175 lbs). When we hold up this standard that all you have to do to be pretty is be skinny, it A. reinforces that overweight = ugly, which is wrong, and B. makes people who are genuinely not blessed in the looks department, even when they are healthy or slim, feel invisible, which is already a problem as unattractive women are routinely overlooked in our society.

12points

BorPand8 3 years ago

I don't know why people downvoted you

1point

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Evil Little Thing 3 years ago

A friend of mine has been losing weight for the past year for health purposes, and her husband is angry at her. He claims to be less attracted to her, and accuses her of losing weight in order to attract other men. They are in therapy.

10points

Iggy 3 years ago

Her husband sounds scared of losing control of the relationship or of losing her. He sees her becoming slimmer and more conventionally attractive, which means she will get hit on more. It sounds like like he has low self esteem. .

12points

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Paula Marowsky 3 years ago (edited)

Being not able to look at you in the mirror, because you really don't like what you see. Or people telling you how "ugly ducklings" became beauty pageant princesses if they put enough effort to it... meaning you could use some surgical enhancement.

13points

Samantha Lomb 3 years ago (edited)

Just get rid of mirrors. It works for me. Much happier without. And of course ignore Shitlord Ryan. He really never has anything nice to say.

2points

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Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago

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Suz66 3 years ago

Do you ever have anything nice to say? You're comments are always so hurtful!

6points

Kitty Jordan 3 years ago (edited)

It saddens me to see how many of these say, "As a fat woman...". I understand that our culture promotes the ideal that skinny is the only way to be pretty, but it perpetuates the idea that any woman can be pretty if only they would lose weight, which is not the case. (And I'm saying this out of personal experience. I am not an attractive woman. That's okay, I think I'm pretty intelligent and funny and have other attributes to make up for it. But the truth is, I was not attractive when I was 135 lbs. and I was not attractive when I was 175 lbs). When we hold up this standard that all you have to do to be pretty is be skinny, it A. reinforces that overweight = ugly, which is wrong, and B. makes people who are genuinely not blessed in the looks department, even when they are healthy or slim, feel invisible, which is already a problem as unattractive women are routinely overlooked in our society.

12points

BorPand8 3 years ago

I don't know why people downvoted you

1point

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Evil Little Thing 3 years ago

A friend of mine has been losing weight for the past year for health purposes, and her husband is angry at her. He claims to be less attracted to her, and accuses her of losing weight in order to attract other men. They are in therapy.

10points

Iggy 3 years ago

Her husband sounds scared of losing control of the relationship or of losing her. He sees her becoming slimmer and more conventionally attractive, which means she will get hit on more. It sounds like like he has low self esteem. .

12points

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