Being in a relationship is a wonderful thing that fills your stomach with butterflies and allows you to see the world through rose-tinted glasses. Nevertheless, it can also be hard work that requires mutual respect, open communication, and a whole lot of compromise, whether it’s trying to decide what’s for dinner or choosing where to build your first home.

A young man on Reddit opened up about his experience with relationships and compromise. His partner and himself were invited to attend a wedding, which required a certain dress code. Even though it wasn’t their usual attire, the couple reached a compromise on what they would be wearing.

However, his partner had a change of heart at the very last second and left the guy blindsided. He then decided to go to the wedding without her. Under the username OpportunityNice3227, the man shared his story with the AITA community and asked whether he’s a jerk for leaving his girlfriend behind.

Bored Panda has reached out to the author of the Reddit post. They were kind enough to answer a few of our questions. You will find their thoughts in the text below.

A redditor opened up about attending a wedding without his girlfriend because she wouldn’t follow the dress code

Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)

Image credits: cavanimages (not the actual photo)

Image credits: OpportunityNice3227

Compromise is often one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship. Each person has their own needs and wishes, and no matter how alike a couple might be, no two people can be the same. That’s why it’s important to listen to the other person’s feelings and try to find a middle ground for the sake of the relationship.

Research shows that too much conflict and arguing is one of the main reasons for divorce. And there might be no better means than communication and compromise for putting out fires in a relationship. As in the OP’s case, talking openly with his girlfriend about the wedding dress code helped them reach an agreement. For a moment, at least.

The OP told Bored Panda: “I would like to add that when you love someone, you should learn how to compromise, especially for a small matter like this. And while issues like racism and sexism are important topics, there are places and times to bring them up. Especially in the work area. And a promise should be upheld.”

Good communication skills make it easier to compromise because it allows you to figure out your partner’s needs. Walking in their shoes or at least trying to familiarize with how they view the world can work wonders for the quality of a relationship. It elicits empathy—one of the main antidotes to conflicts that often arise due to lack of communication.

When in a relationship, their partner’s happiness is often tied to the person’s own well-being. And vice versa. Over half of Americans (54%) say that their better half is extremely important to their happiness. That is what makes relationships worth working for. Trying to see the situation from a different perspective or finding common ground might not be easy, but it helps to make it work in the long run.

The couple tried seeing eye-to-eye in the OP’s case as well. After providing his girlfriend with all the information, he was happy to hear that she agreed to the terms of the wedding and would be accompanying him to the celebration. Sadly, what started as a compromise, ended up with an unexpected twist that left the OP wondering—”am I the jerk here?”

It doesn’t have to be a big deal to cause a big dispute. In the couple’s case, it was something as simple as choosing an outfit, however, the clothing was not the main reason. It was the broken agreement, not keeping up with what was discussed just before the sudden change. “It means that she is not willing to compromise and is willing to go back on her word. It means that I can not trust her and I know where I stand”, the OP shared.

While planning the wedding, most couples only hope to have one in their lives, so it’s common for them to think over every detail, including the preferred choice of attire. When it comes to clothing, finding something to wear might be a headache with or without a dress code. However, if it’s stated in the invite, it is there for a reason; the bride and groom expect the guests to follow it on their big day. Ranging from white tie to casual, theme, and everything in between, it covers nearly every possible style there is.

Trying to find the outfit you feel comfortable in and following the stated dress code can sometimes become another example of compromising. The style that is requested might not be what you usually go for, but at times like this, there is no other way but to make it work. Or not to attend the wedding. And at times, as the OP demonstrated, the latter seems to be the lesser evil.

The majority of the commenters agreed on the same opinion

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