Standing in front of the altar, we make a vow to be with our spouse for the rest of our lives, in joy and sorrow – but our life, unfortunately, is such that sometimes these promises have to be broken. And then we try build a new family life with another person. This is not always that easy, especially when our new spouse has their own children from a previous marriage.

The history of interaction between stepparents and stepkids is well known in world culture, and often it is not so much interaction as confrontation. Moreover, as is typical, often such conflicts arise literally out of the blue and develop rapidly, threatening the very existence of a newly minted family. As it happened, for example, in a recent story by user u/Ornery_Guarantee_625 from the AITA Reddit community.

The author of the post is going to marry a guy who has a 16 Y.O. daughter from his previous marriage

Image credits: Maryland GovPics (not the actual photo)

One cannot say that the woman didn’t warm up to her future stepdaughter, but the teen made it a habit to prank her

Image credits: Ornery_Guarantee_625

Image credits: josh james (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Ornery_Guarantee_625

The last straw was the fiance’s birthday party when the girl exposed the stepmom’s underwear in front of the guests

Image credits: Thomas Won (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Ornery_Guarantee_625

The author yelled at the teen and stormed out of the house, yet the fiance accused her of ruining his birthday soon after

So the Original Poster (OP) is going to get married to her boyfriend soon and they are also planning to move in together in the nearest future. But for now, the spouses-to-be live separately, and the author of the post, in her own words, faced a serious problem with her fiancé’s 16-year-old daughter. The thing is that the teen does not seem to take her future stepmom seriously and constantly pranks her – the longer this has gone on, the more seriously and offensively.

The woman tried several times to talk to both the teen and her dad, but this did not lead to anything serious. The girl just laughed it off, and the OP’s fiance also said that his daughter is just at that age, and that the OP just needs to endure it as nothing can be done about it. But time passed and the offensive pranks continued, only upsetting the author of the post.

The last straw, as the original poster admits, was her fiancé’s birthday celebration, which was attended by many of their relatives and friends. At some point at the table, the OP saw her underwear hanging in the corner and her stepdaughter, slyly grinning, stated that the woman forgot it at their house last time, so she hung it somewhere where she would see it and not forget it this time.

The author could not stand it, especially since all the people around, including her fiancé, were shocked by this dirty prank. The woman couldn’t help but yell at her stepdaughter, who again tried to make it a joke, but this time the OP was unstoppable. She stormed out of the house and turned off her phone, and when she turned it back on after having calmed down a bit, she found a lot of missed calls and texts from her fiancé, who not only did not stand up for her, but also accused her of ruining his birthday party. Several days passed and the man expected an apology from his fiancee, but she did not at all consider that she had overreacted somehow.

Image credits: SomeDriftwood (not the actual photo)

According to psychologists, such situations, alas, are quite common, and mostly teenagers are the instigators here. Firstly, this is the period of the behavioral crisis associated with growing up. Secondly, the crisis is superimposed by the appearance of another person in their family, whom the child inevitably compares with their biological parent, and very often these comparisons turn out to be far from in favor of stepmom or stepdad…

“Teenagers (and preteens) are rebellious and reactive, and they do exactly the opposite of what they are told. This is a normal and essential part of growing up and becoming a free-thinking, self-reliant adult,” the authors of the FamilyEducation portal note. “While your stepteen strains against the reins of authority (that’s you and your partner), your challenge is to remain calm.”

“When he pushes you away, he’s not deliberately hurting your feelings. It also helps to understand what ‘normal’ rebellion looks like so you can help prevent (or deal with) the more destructive and self-destructive forms. Some high schools have parent education nights that can truly help,” experts claim.

Still, people in the comments do believe that such behavior on the part of the stepdaughter is completely wrong, and even more inappropriate is the actual support of this behavior by her dad. “You deserve to receive an apology from the rude, thoughtless teen who put your underwear on display. This was not a prank, this was a humiliation,” commenters are pretty sure. And some of them even advise the original poster to call off the engagement. Well, as you can see, opinions are significantly divided, so it will be interesting for us to know your point of view in the comments.

The viewpoints on this case from experts and commenters were divided and some folks in the comments even tried to push the woman to call off the engagement

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