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“Better late than never.” This often-used expression may apply to arriving at 10 a.m. for a 9:30 meeting or taking up Brazilian jiu-jitsu at 48 years old. It’s also for those valuable lessons we learn through experience and, sometimes, through life’s difficult moments.
Today, we’re discussing the latter by revisiting an old Quora thread titled “What’s something that you learned embarrassingly late in life?” People candidly shared their realizations about the toxicity of social media, the power of meditation, and people-pleasing, among many others.
This list of responses will likely make you think about your own epiphanies. Feel free to share them below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Always be ready to survive alone. Some people suddenly change, today you're important to them, tomorrow you're nothing to them and that's real life.
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#2
You get into bed and are preparing for a good sleep.
You feel like you wanna pee.
It's cold out there, so you decide to hold it back.
“I would be in a deep sleep in minutes anyway”, as you lied to yourself.
You tossed and turned for 2 hours, finally you put on your slippers, rushed to the toilet.
You have wasted 2 hours making up your mind, 2 hours that could have been used for a good rest.
When something is bothering you in your life, be it sand in your shoes, long-due homework, a school bully, sexual molestation in office, you figure it out ASAP.
Troubles simply won't straighten themselves out, you wanna have a better life, you fix your troubles the very moment they emerge, and fix them once and for all.
#3
During my teenage years, I would travel often to my native place of Chennai, India. It would mostly be a regular family visit to meet my ageing maternal grandparents.
I used to be extremely shy during those days. spending most of my time alone or with my cousins - Mona and Lavanya. Both of them are a year younger than me. This allowed us to be tight-knit cousins discussing on wide range of topics every time we meet.
As soon as I entered the home, I would have a quick 2 minute formal chat with both of my grandparents and right away engage in conversations with my cousins. My brother Jeevan, on the other hand, is a jovial type, cracking jokes with everyone in my family, including my grandparents.
He would spend hours and hours talking with my grandfather. I always wondered why he would spend time with his instead of exciting conversations with us.
The day came when my grandfather was seriously ill. He asked us to visit him one last time.
With shivering voice and tears in his eyes, he knew his time was up and said goodbye to each one of us. He passed away the next day. My grandmother passed away due to cancer in the next year.
As years passed, I grew out of my teenage personality into a mature person. After I joined college, I came in contact with a girl who shared amazing stories of her moments with her grandparents. I tried to understand her love for her grandparents but couldn’t as I didn’t experience it, although I had the opportunity.
That moment was an eye opener. I missed the opportunity to have amazing moments with my grandparents. Moments I could have shared with my loved ones in the future.
But I can’t undo this one mistake of mine even if I try, even if I’m extremely sorry.
I learnt a valuable lesson. Death takes away the moments you can live with your near and dear ones. I vowed to never repeat this mistake with my other family members and close friends.
Build loving memories with your loved ones while they are alive, before death takes away that opportunity. There’s no point asking for another chance after they’re gone.
#4
Tying my shoes.
When I was a kid, I learned a lot of things earlier than a lot of kids, but I never did learn to tie my shoes correctly. My parents even figured out the problem at the time. They tied their shoes opposite from one another. Either way works OK, but you have to be consistent about it. I developed the habit of tying shoes partway like Mother did and partway like Daddy did. My parents were puzzled by my frustration and unwillingness to practice until they figured out what they were doing.
I wore loafers a lot anyway, so it didn’t much matter, and the way I tied would work long enough to get me through gym class. And sometimes I probably tied shoes in a consistent manner, just not all the time.
I was in Boy Scouts, and I could tie all the knots that I was supposed to. It just never occurred to me to apply what I knew to tying my shoes.
Over the years I didn’t give the matter much thought. But a few years back I put some strings that were too long in my shoes, and as they came loose, I kept stepping on them. I got tired of that, so finally I went to the internet and found a page that explained how to do it. I now tie them consistently like that page instructed.
In the meantime, I had studied five languages and got several degrees. I just had never mastered a basic childhood skill.
Papa 4 days ago
I taught my sister, who is 18 months younger than I am, how to tie her shoes. Of course I tied her shoes while I was facing her, so that's how she learned, so to this day (almost 60 years later), the way she ties her shoes mirrors the way I tie mine instead of exactly the same way. (Hopefully I explained that properly.)
#5
Not me but one of my friends.
He had a rather amusing revelation. He only started wearing glasses in 2017 during 10th grade.
Prior to that, he genuinely thought that everything was supposed to become blurry around 20 feet away.
It wasn't until then that he realized people could see individual green leaves, not just a vague green blur.
Talk about realising something embarrassingly late.
Don't listen to me 4 days ago (edited)
Not funny. That's not embarrassing for him, or amusing. Maybe for you. It's very sad for him & has happened for lots of us. Though I'm surprised its still happening today with all the help that children now can get. I've seen video of babies being fitted with glasses & being amazed to suddenly see things.
#6
Hold on to friends from your past, no matter how hard or weird it can be to stay in touch. Good relationships grow and adapt to time and distance. As easy as it can be to let someone fade away, strong friendships are worth the effort.
#7
That there are 3 holes down there, for a woman. I was a biology student in school but never paid attention to details, maybe I was too young for that. One we were discussing about menstrual cups, then I (and my friend) asked, “what if we want to pee?”. My friend looked at us in shock, and said “There is a separate passage for the menstrual blood” I know! It's unbelievable to me too! Facepalm!
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 4 days ago
A scary amount of people don't know this. Ive given many biology lessons to people.
#8
What I think it took me way too long to learn is how to be happy and content with myself as a person, and how to live in the moment. I spent all of my teen years into my 20s and 30s in a daze. I hated myself, hated my life, blamed others for what was essentially my own shortcomings.
It wasn’t until I hit my 40s that I began to figure all of this out. First and foremost, if you have an issue with someone else’s behavior, it could very well be yourself that has that issue. I fell in love at 17 for the first time and for the next four years I struggled - WE struggled - to have a happy relationship, but it just wasn’t happening. And I blamed him for my unhappiness - if he wasn’t doing this or that, then I’d be happy. So we broke up and I spent the next twenty or so years in relationship after relationship, all with the same problem. One day it hit me that the only one responsible for our feelings is US. And then I stopped living for tomorrow and began to live just for right now - and that is the only time that matters - RIGHT NOW.
Here is the ironic part: that guy I fell in love with at 17? We hooked back up after 35 years and now we’ve been married for five years and we are happy with ourselves and with each other. I feel sad that I wasted so much of my life expecting others to fill the holes inside me, when the power to be happy was in my hands all along.
#9
In elementary school, my friends would often ride bikes together after school. They often invited me to join them, and I always refused because I didn’t know how to ride bikes! I would fall off every time I attempted. My friends started making fun of me (in a rather friendly way) because they thought that everyone that age should know how to ride bikes (we were 9–10).
I finally learned to ride bikes at the embarrassingly late age of 14.
Sergio Bicerra 4 days ago
I learned how to ride about... 25 I think. Never had a bike, my sis had but she was taller than me so couldn't even sit on it.
#10
So many things. Soooo many things
But I'll just explain one. Swallowing.
APPERENTLY, I never swallowed food before a year ago.
I had an incident where I was eating an apple slice. And I coughed and ended up swallowing it, and I told my friend that it was the creepiest feeling to have something solid go down my throat and I didn't choke at all becuase it was small.
And his response was. “You mean…eating normally? Like swallowing? “
I was flabbergasted. Of course it's not normal, it went down solid dude like as in a whole piece that still had some level of solidness.
He then explained undeniable proof. People eating noodles whole without chewing.
It was then that I realized I don't swallow food, at all. I just chew until it disappears entirely (which is why I dislike some chewy meats, since I don't swallow them it takes like 10-15 minutes to eat a piece)
Freaking, earth shattering discovery.
Also I still can't force myself to swallow food like that, only rarely like. An individual fourth of a bean or something well chewed.
Super disturbing to me.
#11
Early in life, I wished that I learned that just because adults were arguing, did not mean they hated one another or that the ‘end was near.’
Later in late, I wished I learned that not everyone is for you. Live your truth and light.
#12
All my life, I've kicked off and kicked up a fuss whenever I faced a problem. The little things that ordinary people let go by the wayside and not usually react to have got me in so much trouble until finally, late in life, I got my head around it—for instance, driving over several times a plastic bottle of cola because the fizz erupted all over my legs while driving. Just silly little bouts of extreme temper erupting over nothing. It wasn't until late in life that a police officer told me,” It's not what happens, but how you react to it that matters,” and it's true; it's how we deal with any given situation in life that really matters. I only wish that I had the intelligence years ago to stop making the same mistakes that have got me in so much trouble that could have easily been avoided. But life is a learning experience; it's a pity that it took me 55 years to realise.
ucp 4 days ago
Better late than never. I used to erupt then quickly calm down as a way of processing. To me, this felt sane, as I had completed the cycle of dealing with the issue. However, my girlfriend told me it scared her. So I adapted my process, because I don’t want people thinking I’m actually angry.
#13
Trying to live by “Keeping up with Joneses”. I fell for this notion from of my own insecurities. My own “well, I work hard”. My own lack of discovering it is better to invest in a few enriching things or experiences rather than in many indulgences.
Social Media, advertising and commericals make us think we really need the newest gadget, car, fashion, or home. Why is there always a new trend out? To keep you buying more.
You will feel like you “made it” if you just get ________ (fill in the blank”).
Yes, the shiny new thing are fun to look and play with, but we soon tire of these things.
Live frugually. Don't let the stuff own you. You can still have fun. Find out what is really important to you and save for those few things.
I assure you that you will not regret it.
Earonn - 4 days ago
Material things DO matter. Don't feel bad because you fell in love with something that is not an experience. Because you know what? It's about WHY you want that material thing. You love knitting and you get good, expensive needles you love to use? Well done! And as for experiences: yes, they are nice and important. But they are not everything and you will forget a lot of them. There is a healthy place in the middle, and where that place is, everyone has to figure out for themselves.
#14
What is something that is embarrassing to admit you learned late in life?
In order to get the attention of others and also to show to them that I am smart and intelligent, I started to do some mannerisms - like grew french beard, speak in English with a different modulation (different to Indian English), speaking a bit loudly to attract attention etc.
After sometime I realized the stupidity of such things. I was totally embarrassed about what I did - in fact those mannerisms would have made me a laughing stock.
Even now when I see someone doing such things, I put myself in their shoes and feel very ashamed and uncomfortable.
#15
I have always believed that learning is not a means to an end, but an end in itself. One thing, however, I did say to new people entering my team, obviously before I became a freelance, was “You can make as many mistakes as you like during your probationary period, as long as you make each mistake only once”. Alternately, to quote Otto von Bismarck, “Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others”.
Ace 4 days ago (edited)
I recall chatting to colleagues, all of whom had higher degrees ( masters or PhDs) when I was in my 30s, having not gone to university, and having the sudden realisation that most of them went on to higher education not just because they wanted to get a good job and career, but because they +wanted to learn_ stuff. Was quite mind-blowing to me at the time. I never suffered, career-wise, from lack of university education, BTW, but if I had my time again I would probably do things differently. Oh, and the colleagues had no idea I didn't have a degree, we were all working at the same sort of level. Was only embarrassing for them when they needed to know what letters to put after my name on a publication I'd co-authored with a professor, two doctors and two MScs. The realisation on their faces when I told them I had none was quite amusing.
#16
I thought the belly button was a genuine knot that the doctor tied from the umbilical cord and then he pushed it in to make an inward belly button. I blame both people with outie belly buttons that looks like a small knot and my mother who told me that a skilled physician can make the difference between an innie and an outie. My mind took 1 and 1 and made 3. I shall not reveal the age at which I realized the truth, because you know, dignity.
#17
As I age, it amazes me to see how much I’ve changed from year to year. In all the hustle and bustle to get somewhere, do something, and be someone, it’s humbling to realize how much I have learned up to this point, and how little I actually know.
I’m reminded how imperfect I am and how much work I need to do on myself to be the kind of person I want to be. Each day, I struggle with uncertainties, insecurity, fear, and doubt.
This is what I feel and maybe you relate in some way.
No one gets through life without struggle and pain. Learn to struggle with dignity and overcome your challenges.
You are in control of your hopes and dreams. If you are not, someone else will control them for you.
It is always your decision who you let into your life and who you leave out. It is always a matter of personal boundaries.
No one can put you down unless you give them permission.
Life will never be fair, and dwelling on it will only make you resentful.
Your kids are not you. Never assume they want to follow in your footsteps. Treat them as individuals, not clones.
Don’t take life too seriously. No one actually knows what the hell they’re doing. We just generally try to do a reasonably good job with what we have in the context of our current existence.
I know one thing for sure, life goes by really, really fast. Live each day so that, at the end, you're reveling in how amazing your life was, not regretting all the things you did or didn't do.
#18
1-Debt will beat you down if you don’t stay away from them. Will make you mentally and physically ill, and will also attract a whole range of negativity.
2-Whoever you marry has/must match your fundamental values and vision towards life, otherwise you’re trapped in some sort of emotional jail. Make sure to take this step once you’re grown up enough (after 33 preferably).
3-There’s a time for specfic things, do them when you’re supposed to or consciously decide not to do them due to right and coherent reasons; otherwise you start a path full of regrets.
ucp 4 days ago
33 is such an arbitrary age. Especially if you want to build a family with children. I met my wife when I was 20, and we started dating just after my 21st. She is two years younger. But it was (and remains, now I’m 50) right. Growing up, I was convinced that I’d never marry, so this wasn’t a conscious meeting. We are right for each other - we do share fundamental values..
#19
People are extremely superficial.
You may not have realized it if you are exceptionally attractive or social. But the thing is, most people don't want to be around you unless you provide them with some form of instant gratification. This can come in the form of being exceptionally humorous, pleasing to look at, or good at something.
It doesn't matter who you are on the inside, if you don't immediately have something to offer people on the outside. You could save the world, and become a celebrity for a few years, but if you aren't socially gifted, your fame will be extremely temporary.
Being an extrovert who also happens to have extreme social anxiety, this was one of the hardest lessons I've had to come to terms with over the past 7 years.
#20
For me there are three that come to mind. I think the first major one is simply context. What do I mean by that? Well I suppose you could call it other things and something like awareness would also do it. Let me explain. As you go about your day, you’ll witness a lot of things such as the motorist getting upset because some other driver jumped in front of them. True enough, you could probably sympathise with his anger and maybe you’d be angry too. But this is precisely what I mean by context. As we get older (and hopefully wiser) we start to view things from broader angles. We’ll ask ourselves questions like “does this really matter?”, “is anger the appropriate response?”. In short we look at the wider context (the bigger picture) of any given life situation. We place them in…context. So, whereas your much younger self will perhaps get angry, harbour grudges, refuse to deal with certain people etc etc, the older version has that ability to see any situation for what it is. And, in general, they’ll reach the conclusion that “no, this is not important”.
But, some people sadly never reach this stage. They hold on to bitterness as if their very lives depends on it. And, for them, simple little grudges end up becoming the foundational stones for long, deep rooted feuds.
And this brings me on to my second lesson: that simple ability to apologise. Someone once said to me words to the effect of: “I never apologise, it’s beneath me and it makes me look weak”. This one’s always stayed with me quite simply because I’ve always believed that the absolute converse to that statement is true. Surely, a heartfelt apology (not the politician who’s been caught type apology!) is a display of strength, isn’t it? It’s a person saying “what I did or said was wrong. I acknowledge that, please forgive me”. Surely it’s the weaker, arrogant person who clings on to their position despite knowing that they are plainly in the wrong? But, therein lies a problem: some people genuinely believe that they are never wrong. I can understand those situations where one had absolute belief in an given situation but, I’ve yet to meet the person who is never truly wrong.
My last lesson is time. It’s precious. It’s a one way street and once it’s gone; it’s gone. And with it goes opportunities. I’m clearly stating the obvious here but, some people don’t get that. They live in a way that suggest that they believe time is endless. Now if only they had some…context.
#21
That no one wants you to be better than them, even if they’re family members. Rarely, someone will help you through life without giving you vague advice that won’t help you that much. You’ll have to figure out most of the things by yourself. And some of the people you were counting on to guide you through life will just confuse you more. So, trust in your judgment ability and don’t you ever stop learning.
ucp 4 days ago (edited)
“ That no one wants you to be better than them”: not true. My mother has her faults, but she raised me to trust in my abilities, and encouraged me to succeed. One particular university professor took it upon himself to push me to succeed professionally, whereas he was comfortable in academia. My last boss before I retired wanted me to stay, in order to take her role as she said that I had “so much potential”. People in corporate structures, or family, may be jealous, but that does not mean that *no one* wants you to be better than them.
#22
1. Social media is toxic (especially Instagram), it makes your time wasted by watching someone else’s fake life. It lowers your self esteem.
2. Life is not fair. Some people are luckier than you. You did good things to other people, it doesn’t ascertain that people will treat you good too.
3. Never expect too high. The more you expect when it doesn’t meet your expectation the more it’s gonna hurt.
4. You can’t make everyone happy. Make your decision and live it with no regrets.
5. When it’s ok according to you, it could be not for someone else.
6. Working out is good. One should start it earlier and be more disciplined in it.
7. Love doesn’t come in an instant. It involves many processes. But when it comes you don’t need reason for it.
8. Everyone has 3 faces. First, the one that they show to the world and stranger, second, the one that they show to family, spouse and close friends and the third, the one that they only show to themselves.
9. Communication, negotiation and marketing are important skills. No matter what field you are in, you should learn these soft skills.
10. I wish I found Quora earlier . I get knowledge and experience of other people by reading their answers and I also can share mine by writing.
11. Language is important. I wish I could learn Chinese and Japanese earlier.
12. Sometimes, you can’t change people. You change yourself to suit them.
13. Too much thinking will stop your acting.
#23
1. As humans we want to believe that we are always right and we try to justify our actions. We sometimes see ourselves as the hero always but we can do things which can hurt greatly the people around us. The worst thing is that some of us don’t even notice it.
2. Being alone for some time is good for your mental health.
3. Holding grudges just makes us worst off. Forgiveness is supreme.
4. When you’re kind, people will always want to take advantage of learn. Learn to set boundaries between you and people.
5. Be very careful what you say to people. Words pierce like an arrow.
6. be kind to everyone, people are going through a lot these days and most of them will not show it to you.
7. Love yourself.
keyboardtek 4 days ago
Regarding number 2: “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone”. Blaise Pascal.
#24
How babies are made.
Up until early high school, I thought weddings were magical: When a man and woman got married at the altar and had the “You may now kiss the bride” moment, the woman would instantly become pregnant upon smooching her new husband.
Why else would all the attendees cheer so fervently afterwards? And wasn’t the copious amounts of food meant to help feed both the wife AND her baby?
As you can tell, procreation wasn’t exactly conversation fodder in our household back then.
Eventually, I learned a thing or two about the truth. Yep, it’s the storks :)
#25
1. When i was much younger i thought i knew everything and tried to change the world. Now i am 84 i have learned i dont know everything and now concentrate on changing myself
2. Kindness is a quality the deaf can hear, the blind see, and dumb want to shout out about
3. The 2 most important days of my life are the day I was born and the day i found out why
4. I believe in love
5. I believe God loves me
6. My parenrs did their best
7. I did my best
8. Mistakes are not a death sentence but a door to a bigger world
9. God did not make me to save the world but myself and as an example of what to do and what not to do
10. Most who hate me hate themsekves more
#26
I couldn't talk to her the night before.
I was tired from giving exam came home and went out for a while to chill. When I got home, still tired but watching TV and she was using the sewing machine. She asked how my exam was, I hesisted a little and lied that it was tough but I wrote what I knew. The truth was the question paper pattern was changed this year and I got nervous and couldn't write anything. After lying to her I stood up embarrassed and told her I was going to bed as I was tired and sleepy and that I had ate outside so no dinner. I got into bed, and closed my eyes. I was called at dinner time by her and I went and had a little something and she told me she was going tomorrow, I asked her back “where was she going to?” She smiled and replied “To Mahamaya Temple”. I exclaimed, “oh yeah I remember”, I wished have a nice trip and went to bed again.
That night it was past 30th March at 2am an earthquake woke us up. She woke up and warned us about it. Earlier when earthquake occurred I always went out but that day I thought it will pass even though she did warn us. I went back to sleep.
The next day, I woke up nobody was home except my dad who retired a few years back. After brushing my teeth I asked where was she, he reminded me that she had left for the temple early with the rest and will be back by late night. I not thinking much about it opened as she does goes on trip to visit temples often. I switched on my laptop and wanted to waste some time so played Accepted The Teen Comedy Movie. While watching it, my father came and said that there was an accident that happened to the car where she was and the rest. Not knowing any details I asked my father if so could join, he said I shouldn't as there will be nobody home. After that I heard a rukus outside and went out, I saw lot of people gathering and people getting ready to leave to the place where the accident happen.
Till now I'm clueless of what the real scenerio is. After my father left I started to get the news that it was a severe accident where two of my neighbors aunt's had passed away, my grandma, and my one of my aunt. I was trying to contact my mother but the phone wasn't ringing. That's how the day passed without no answer about her. Dad's phone was too switched off. I wasn't thinking of much as I knew nothing would happen to her as she was religion woman.
That night I asked one of my uncle what news was there about my mom, he told she's fine with a few scratches and bruises. Sigh, It was relief.
The next day, I was waiting for a call to come. And out of nowhere when coming from outside to the house I saw people crying, I asked what's wrong, and that moment I lost everything. She was no more. People had been lying to be since yesterday. She was gone by this time the day earlier when I was watching Accepted. I broke down. I had never cried like that ever. I didn't get to say her goodbye. I felt hopeless that day. I went to back of our house held my mouth and cried. People came up to me to console.
A lot happen later that night. The point is I knew I could never have my mother back and love her as much as she loved me. I was an asshole being tough. Not talking much with Mom. I loved her but I could never show her and I never can. I lost a lot that day. I couldn't talk to her when she left. I try not to remember about that day but it's my mother of course.
It's been 1 year and 8 months now since my besutiful mother passed away. What I regret is that I could never show how much I love her. And it's late to regret about it. I miss her food everyday, as now some other woman comes to cook for us. I have forgot how her food taste like. It feels strange when I see her huge picture in the drawing room everyday. My dad is now alone. Nothing is the same. I got into the college she dreamt for me to be in. But she is not here to be proud of her son.
I just love her is all I want to say even if it's too late.
And on the tenth day my 4 years old cousin passed away
UncleJohn3000 4 days ago
Your mother wouldn't want you to suffer like this. Honor her memory by picking something about her you admire and move yourself in that direction.
#27
We can’t rely on the media alone to properly inform us. The amount of press that a problem receives doesn’t necessarily reflect the true severity of the problem; the problem could be even more serious than the press indicates. A problem that definitely needs more press is the threat that introduced species often pose to native species. The Hawaiian goose, or nene, was estimated to have numbered about 25,000 at the end of the 19th century. By 1947, they had declined to 30. This was because the settlers cleared the birds’ habitat for farmland, hunted them for their meat, and introduced domestic livestock and (accidentally) rats. In the hope of controlling the rats, the small Indian mongoose was also introduced. However, like the rats, the mongooses are now a threat to Hawaii’s native wildlife, including the nene. By 1993, however, the nene was estimated to number about 500, as a result of intense conservation work.
Source:
•Few, Roger. “Oceanic Islands”. Macmillan Children’s Guide to Endangered Animals, Marshall Editions Ltd., 1993, pp. 90–91.
#28
You know my parents sheltered me so well from society and when I got out of my own and I started seeing how really s***ty people are and why my dad told me to never change and always be thoughtful in kind but to not let people take advantage of me and now I see why
#29
1. Dad was right, save first before you start spending.
2. Your reward is not in heaven. Only lazy lads say this.
3. Life is actually short. Nothing lasts forever.
4. Money is not the root of all evil. The lack of money is.
5. Never sacrifice your progress for a friend. They might not do the same if the tables were turned.
6. Stop trying to make everyone love you. You need enemies to succeed.
7. Find something you love, something you can lean on to, something that would keep you going. You need something to fall back on when you get depressed.
8. Networking is important. Never underestimate anybody.
9. Politics and religion are just as important as oxygen and CO2, they have killed nations and developed some.
10. Never take any opportunity for granted. See that school you have access to and hate so much, some other kid just wishes he had something close to that.
11. Classical music is good.
12. Read as many books as possible. No knowledge is ever lost.
13. Mom and Dad always wanted the best for you.
#30
What is something you found out late in life you should have known earlier but just didn't?
A couple things - family related.
I grew up understanding my maternal grandfather died in a hunting accident. (in 1946) when my mom was about 1 or so. It was only around 2011/2013 or so that I found out it was not an accident - well the accident was that he was shot, the person who shot him was actually attempting to shoot his uncle. It is one of the reasons on my mom’s side of the family guns were not a thing.
I also found out relatively recently, that my mom was diagnosed with type II diabetes, this made me a bit upset, as she knew pre 2013 and delayed telling us until after her mom (my grandmother passed 2013)
The reason this was/is important is that my father was diabetic, as was his father - so the fact type II diabetes is on BOTH sides of my family means I am that much more likely to develop it. Since then my identical twin was diagnosed with diabetes. So it is very likely that I will develop it at some point. I am hoping to delay it as long as possible with diet and exercise. (Not always good on the diet side, but my numbers are still decent.)
The key for me is that families often keep secrets, but keeping secrets can be harmful
Not knowing that my mom’s dad was actually murdered means I just thought that grandma did not like guns because they were dangerous - accidents happen, but it is a 100% different context when you learn it was not an accident but a deliberate act, just that the shooter hit the wrong person..
Not knowing my mom was diagnosed with type II diabetes meant that I had that many fewer years to change my lifestyle. (Yes I could and did make some changes due to my father’s diagnosis - but my father was obese for much of their adult life, at least since I was 17/18, my mom was not big on exercise, but has always been relatively average weight, knowing that would have meant I would have made some lifestyle changes
By keeping secrets from those who have a right to know, you prevent them from making informed decisions about things that may impact them.
In my case - views about guns and health decisions.
#31
(1) Dreams? Nightmare?
Why you get nightmares?
Dreams mainly occur in the rapid-eye movement stage of sleep—when brain activity is high and resembles that of being awake.
Anxiety and depression causes nightmare.
Why you get Hiccups ? Ohh! I thought somewhere someone is missing me :(
The throat muscle contracts repeatedly, the opening between the vocal cords snaps shut to check the inflow of air and makes the hiccup sound.
(3)You cannot make everyone happy.
(4)You don't need people to love you.
(5)Surfing internet can be the best utilization of time and waste of time both. Depends!
(6) Marks does matter, so does looks.
(6) Dal chawal, Rajma, samosa none of these are born in India.
I really thought these dishes are Indian originated!
(7) Your brain doesn't know the difference between reality and expectations.
#32
I have no idea. Most of us know things that we believe to be “common knowledge” that isn’t commonly known. If we’re told that something is “common knowledge”, there’s no way to be sure it is without information drawn from a statistically significant sample drawn from the population. Maybe a group that performs that sort of research would be enlightening. I suspect that they’d learn that there’s a lot less “common knowledge” than most of us believe. Maybe it would inspire more discussion between those of us who have differing “common knowledge”. If there is some group doing this sort of research, they need to make their existence more well-known … or is that “common knowledge” that I have yet to learn?
Michael Largey 3 days ago
"Common knowledge" is like "common sense". There's less of it than the name implies.
#33
There are few learnings from my past :
1. People are not always what they appear to be.
2. Life is an unpredictable journey. You get the surprises when you don't even expect them.
3. Your true well wisher is your Family.
4. Don't expect the others to be like you. They don't behave as per your behavior , they react as per their approach & mentality.
5. Money matters a lot.
6. Your health is the best asset in your life. Take care of your body coz it's the only place where you have to stay entire lifetime.
7. Your Emotional quotient is an important part in your life. You must be strong not just physically but emotionally as well.
8. People will use you according to their needs.
9. Your knowledge is something which can rise you above all.
10. Life is given once, so don't waste time & enjoy every second of it.
There are many more things , but I think that's enough for today.
I will charge for further Consultation 😅😅😅
Katie Allen 3 days ago
aren't all surprises unexpected? I'm getting tired of people believing all families are supportive.
#34
1. That body language speaks a lot more than actual words. It matters. A lot.
2. You can always earn money. It's not a big deal. Your world is not going to end because you don't have a fixed income. Something else will work out.
3. Saying No is important. People don't get offended as much as you think.
4. You use only less than 10% of stuff you possess. Get rid of that stuff that you hardly ever use, you will have that many less things to worry about.
5. What people say when they are angry, aren’t things they mean. They regret it often. Forgive angry people. It’s okay, they are only human.
6. There are no winners in an argument. Only losers. Don’t ruin your relationships arguing about things that don’t really matter.
7. Nothing is complicated. Not as much as you assume. It's just your mind playing tricks with you. If you get down to it, it’s all really simple and clear.
8. Loving your partner is a choice, not a feeling. And your character is the choices you make.
9. No one in this world will stand up for you like the way your parents do. Always be there for them.
Earonn - 4 days ago
2. - until it doesn't. // 4. 10% any given time but 80% over the course of one or two years. No, I won't throw away something I know I will use // 6. an argument doesn't ruin a relationship but putting up with stuff without speaking up ruins your peace of mind // Some things are complicated, that's why we have experts. The world isn't simply black and white. // If love is a choice why did so many wives commit suicide before they could get a divorce and take care of themselves? // A lot of people will stand up for you and it's not always your parents. Parents can be s**t.
#35
Early in life, I wish I’d fully learned just how different the US (republic) is from America (the society that the US is supposed to serve). Later in life, wish I’d belatedly learned of some people believing that damnation to eternal hellfire is considered a divinely just punishment for anything.
#36
That my mother is a narcissist a cold hearted calculating monster and still is as she steals my children and grandchildren what reason I don't know she has every single trait of a narcissist which I am 52 now took me 49 years to work out that there's nothing wrong with me it's her it's so hard I still love my mother the last word she spoke to me she told me I was dead to her cos I obviously figured her out and she knew it I don't know but I've had to re-evaluate my whole life what I believed in and how it was not the way that I should be it's really so twisted I have spent 21 years this year Christmas is On My own because my mother has alienated me from my whole entire family makeover my children my grandchildren my grandmother my aunties uncle's cousins they all refused to talk to me I'm not even a bad person I've never even done anything that she can validate that would even warrant this behaviour so I am sad to say that'even though my mother is a cruel monster I still love her because that's what normal people do love their mother
#37
I adopted three girls some months ago, they were not babies or anything like that, they were much older. Having said that, learning to be a mom this late in life can be a challenge. Most women learn to be a mom when a baby is born, these women are much older. When I married Harold, he has a 6-year-old daughter, and while she can be wild. I am to learn how to be a mom to her at the level that I am accepted, but she won't be walking all over me either. Harold understands that very well.
#38
I learned late about the importance of ‘Networking’ and ‘Social Media’. But, I am trying hard to cover it up so I do not live my life with regrets.
I was using social media to pass my time and nothing else. That is where I was wrong. I burnt my fingers but I do not want you to.
Of course, it's certainly up to you how you are using social media. But, do not use social media less. I mean, use it more intentionally and deliberately.
Follow the people who inspire and motivate you,
Connect with the expert you can learn from,
Send a request to people who can guide you,
Spread the knowledge you know about,
Develop genuine and positive friendships,
Stop mindlessly scrolling, hating, complaining and engaging in negativity and bitterness.
Follow the 'MINDSET', instead of following the 'LIFESTYLE'. You ain't that rich my friend, but your mind definitely is.
So yeah, I am using social media to expand my network and I regret why I didn’t use it properly earlier.
Cheers!
#39
This is my lesson:
1. Though life may put me hell tough situations but I will NEVER put myself down.
2. I will face it with and beyond my courage.
3. In the time I will make self development, I will invest in me for the future.
4. Everything is a blessing in disguise. So no embarassing moment. It's good that the embarrassing moment have chosen to hug me, rather than troubling others :). I will face it nicely.
#40
That love is a waste of time except for when it's for your parents or friends.
CherylTunt 4 days ago (edited)
Obviously you have something you need to deal with , lots of people find love and it’s not a waste of time.
#41
You are the creator of your life. Not even a single event can occur against your will.
If everyone around you makes you angry and irritated, it means subconsciously you are angry with some aspect of yourself that you are unaware of yet. Once you are at peace with yourself, the outside environment has no power over you.
Outside environment never had any power over you. Realize that it’s YOU who has given the remote control to your emotions to the external environment. Once you become aware of this, it becomes so easy to get back the control one step at a time.
Until you realize this, life would try to teach you the same lesson through different experiences, just the way different TV soap operas portray the same drama.
#42
For me is it the importance of healthy relationships with your spouse, family, friends and God. I knew it was important earlier but didn’t spend as much time as too busy with career and all or understand how important it is. I want to encourage you to see the importance and invest the time in healthy relationships and find the how it impacts your life. Most important for me is my personal relationship with Jesus Christ and by reading the Bible, praying and following his example brings so much hope, joy and peace. If you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, I pray that you will and find the hope, joy and peace that only He can bring!
Deborah 4 days ago
I'm Jewish. I have friends who are Muslim. I know people who are agnostic or atheist. A relationship with anyone, let alone Jesus, is not important to everyone! Believe what religion you want, but don't try to convince anyone else who believes differently that yours is the only way.
What do you think ?
Tamra 4 days ago
You are so much kinder than I am. The word bull$hit passed through my mind quite often while reading these.
Load More Replies... UncleJohn3000 4 days ago
I just got so much 'moral fiber' that I have to go the Little Pandas' room down the hall.
Tamra 4 days ago
You are so much kinder than I am. The word bull$hit passed through my mind quite often while reading these.
Load More Replies... UncleJohn3000 4 days ago
I just got so much 'moral fiber' that I have to go the Little Pandas' room down the hall.
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