‘Learn Useless Talents’: 40 Useless But Very Cool-Looking Things You Can Learn To Impress Others
When we think about talents, we often imagine something cool, valuable and impressive. From painting to playing an instrument, these abilities immediately bring us into the spotlight and make us a teeny tiny bit better than anyone born without them.
But this online group celebrates exactly the opposite of that. Welcome to the “Learn Useless Talents” subreddit, a miscellaneous home to 694k members who share not just talents, but the most useless ones of all.
“This is a place to learn how to do cool things that have no use other than killing time and impressing strangers,” the group’s description reads, so I leave the stage to some of the best (and most useless!) posts posted here.
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Ima Do This
You're the best! Totally going to do this and share!! Your legacy will live on!! When this takes off make sure you get the credit!!
As it will be opened on arrival if you're more subtle glitter is the devils spunk and could be used to ruin an office
Load More Replies...Slightly more useful, if you get junk mail you don't want and it has a return address on it, you can simply cross out your address and write return to sender on it. If it is addressed to someone who has died, then also write deceased on it, and they should remove them from their mailing list (it has worked on several that my late FIL was getting and they were upsetting my MIL).
Thank you! I still get mail for my dad who died in September 2020
Load More Replies...I once worked for a company that sent out flyers with return envelopes. The company didn’t care at all about having to pay $2.50 for someone to send them a bunch of paper. To them, it’s worth it because that person opened the envelope in the first place. You’re only messing with the person in the mail room who has to dispose of that paper, who wasn’t even the one to mail it to you in the first place.
Sign. Now for the TRUTH. When you buy a Business Reply Mail permit you agree to pay for return mail up to 1 ounce (about 28 grams) or a postcard. The US Post Office can only 1) forward qualifying mail or 2) return mail if there is a valid return address (different from the permit address) or 3) destroy the offending mail as a 'dead letter'. You can mail a brick, but it will be discarded by the post office. Sorry. And yes, it's always been this way.
Anything over 16 ounces needs to be hand-delivered to the post office waiting for payment. A brick will be delivered to the dead-letter office while waiting for someone to pay for delivery (I worked for this type of office and they didn’t pay for anything above once ounce).
Load More Replies...I used to work for a direct mail marketing business. We had the most wonderful, lovely people in the mail department. I wouldn't wish this on them. Seriously, people. The company doesn't care or see what you are sending. The staff that stands up 8 -12 hours per day at minimum wage opening mail and return packages do. So, have a care. Your petty fun isn't doing anything, just recycle it
Unless OP also writes the "to" address somewhere, that's going straight to the dead letter pile.
Correct. It's a window envelope - address needs to be visible.
Load More Replies...I open junk mail and save whatever is blank to use as scrap paper. The rest gets shredded and composted.
Saw a post where a guy stick the pre paid envelope to the outside of a box then filled the box with rocks.
Junk mail can be used for scrapbooking. Or could just put bin/trash can under the letter box
This is true, but don't make it too fat or it won't go through all the machines it needs to be sorted correctly. In the picture above, it would be better to wrap all those shreds in one piece of paper on the inside of the envelope so the outside remains smooth. That barcode on the bottom is what the machines read.
I have been doing this for years, BUT all I enclose is the donation slip with my NAME and ADDRESS with note 'Please remove from mailing list'. They usually do that.
Make the effort. Cross out your name on the pre-printed card and write “ Please take my name and addressor your mailing list”. If there is NO pre-paid envelope, look for a 1-800 number. Call and make the same request. As a last resort, use your own stamp. It’s worth it. Save trees, and fuel. STOP the junk mail.
Been doing this for many years. They have to pay the postage regardless of what they get back. I might get 2 pieces every 6 months or so.
Thank you for doing this. I am convinced it is people like you, that are responsible for the fact that you almost never see those annoying envelopes anymore, at least not i Denmark
I've been doing this for ages. Add a few pennies to really ramp up the weight.
in the book 'Steal this Book" by Abbie Hoffman, pub in 1971, he says to wrap a brick in brown paper and attach the envelope to the front to mail. yet, they are still sending these envelopes out today...he also tells you how to use your tape recorder and record the sound of coins dropping into a pay phone, then use the recording when the operator tells you how much to put in.....this actually worked.....then.....
Decades ago, it was suggested that we should wrap a brick and use their return labels.
I've done this before in the UK. It soon stops them sending you junk mail if you write "Stop sending me cr@p I'm not interested" when you return the confetti 😉
My husband once fought one of the unions that tried to represent state employees. He took all their "No postage necessary" postcards, glued them to bricks, and dropped them in the mailbox.
Just keep in mind that marketing costs (such as return postage) get factored in to the price you pay for the product.
This does not always work. Because people have taken this idea and ran with it, by putting these things on bricks, and all manner of situation, the postal office is allowed to dispose of letters that are obvious attempts at forcing the sender to pay by weight. So if it has an open window that shows shredded paper in it, they'll discard it. If it's attached to a brick, it gets tossed. If it's grossly overweight from what is expected, they'll toss it.
Mail carrier. I hate it when you do this. That s**t is heavy and if you're on a walking/park and loop route we have to carry it.
It helps to have an actual address showing through the envelope window. That envelope is going no where.
Be careful placing metal plates in these. I’ve always filled them with paper and mailed back; however, I moved into a home with curtains weighted with 2” X 3” metal plates. I had 100’s of them so I taped them together and stuffed the envelope with them. A very short while later, I received a call from my local Post Master informing me that my thick e envelopes had destroyed one of their very expensive sorting machines. He gave me a direct order to never mail plates like that again or he was going to come after me to fix the next machine I broke. Returning with trash is fine, but avoid solid plates unless you want a very uncomfortable conversation.
Load More Replies...I've done this in the past. Not many solicitors use the postage paid envelopes anymore. The most objectionable senders seem to also want you to pay the postage
In the UK we get the same kind of junk mail s**t from companies that give you an envelope to send back your reply. I once stuffed empty catfood pouches into the envelope and sent it back :')
I've been doing this for a while ... I admit it, it brightens my day a little!
You magnificent human! I will be sending little pouches of cement and gravel wrapped in cling wrap from now on.
Important to note that Business Reply Mail like this is considered First Class mail and absolutely WILL be delivered. And will cost a bit as well 😁 And kids just LOVE sending letters
Now, I just have to figure out how to stop receiving other peoples' junk mail.
I've done this many, many times. It gives me a small degree of satisfaction knowing that they company is paying for scraps of paper.
Attach it to a brick with zip ties...not that i've ever done such a dastardly thing. Right? Sure.
I've heard of people mailing bricks, you can tape the envelope to the package as an 'address label'
I feel like this would upset the post carriers more than anyone. They may not even deliver it, would they?
Load More Replies...I do this, but have never added extra weight. Today, I learned a new twist.
I used to do this a lot!! Just be careful, some have added barcodes to scan which could trace back to your address. Otherwise, fill it as much as possible and make those bums pay!
So using a paper shredder and an envelope are "Useless But Very Cool-Looking Things You Can Learn To Impress Others," eh?
First, this is a lovely way to use things that are trash but not harmful to handle, like bubble wrap lined paper mailers, stickers, etc. Second, be sure to write something like "You are formally notified to take my name off this mailing list and all affiliate lists" and scribble a signature because notification in writing IS actually legal even if it's scrawled on something they sent to you. After I started doing this, I rapidly decreased the number of letters I was sent. Also, while not really nice to the post office, if there is a return envelope but it isn't postage paid, you can sometimes use the cancelled stamp. I only do this when I am frustrated in part by the roll that the post plays in physical spam though.
Used to be able to tape to boxes and fill with rocks, ah the good old days
I once had a book club kept sending me the World of Poetry book over and over and I never ordered it. They finally sent me a postage-paid label so I added several heavy metal canister reel-to-reel radio tapes as well as a brick and sent it back. I think it was close to 45 pounds.
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When we speak about learning new skills, whether it’s something we’re talented in or not, it’s impossible not to address people’s obsession with improving themselves and becoming better in one way or another. Life hacks seem to be everywhere these days, from little things like easily opening stuck jar lids to more profound ones like becoming more productive and learning to use your time wisely on a daily basis.
To better understand this phenomenon that has been everywhere on social media, we reached out to Mike Sturm, a productivity and personal growth expert, who thinks that the current obsession with life hacks is about 2 main things.
“First, we love to be inventors and discoverers. If we believe we've come up with something no one else has, or discovered something that very few others know about, we get a kick out of it. Secondly, many of us really believe that making everything we do as efficient as possible is the way to a great life,” Sturm argues.
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On the other hand, “the problem is that if you make something super-efficient, but it's something you probably should have stopped trying to do long ago, you're not any better for it. In fact, you're probably worse off—because you've invested time and energy on this thing that really doesn't bring value to your life,” the productivity coach explained.
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Our obsession with life hacks indicates that we spend a lot of time thinking that what makes for a good life has a lot to do with how we are perceived by others. “Do they think we're cool, smart, innovative, strong, etc.? But what others think of us—even what those close to us think—is just a proxy for what's more important: are we bringing value to others? Are we uncovering meaningful truths in the world? Are we genuinely improving some small part of the world?” Sturm wonders.
“But often times, the things that go viral and get you noticed quickly are not what brings the most value,” he added.
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I'm doing this tomorrow and waiting to see how long it takes before someone notices and says "Are those PANTS??"
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It’s also worth noting that a lot of life hacks surfing online seem to be either absurd or totally useless, aka how to peel a cucumber with cling tape. In response to this, Sturm quoted Peter Drucker: "There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all."
According to Sturm, we only get one shot at this life (that we know of). “And while I can't deny that it's fun sometimes to figure out novel ways to peel vegetables with household items, there's only a small amount of that kind of stuff that brings real value to your life. There are things that are worth working on to make more efficient. Those are the things that need to be done, because if they're not, then what's important to you will suffer,” he explained.
Owlpple
Well, Then
I was on a bus tour where someone took a drink from a can of Coke and got stung. They couldn't stop crying, so I asked if it was a Bee or a Wasp -- they didn't know. . . . It Makes A Difference. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I told them, if it was a bee, it would have left behind a stinger and a venom sack. When took a look, I could see it in the roof of their mouth. Using the tweezers from a swiss army knife, I extracted it and solved the problem. Instant pain relief. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . If you've read this far, you've learned some "useless" information like the other people on the bus.
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Sturm argues that what this all comes down to is getting clear on what's important to you—really important. “What do you want out of this life? What needs to happen for your life to get that way? And if you're not sure yet what you want out of life, then that's the most important thing for you to do right now,” he said and added that “no amount of finding better ways to do mundane things will find that out for you.”
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I'd need a lot of brandy before this no matter which person I am in the equation.
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LOVE this list - so useless and I saved a lot of the images, never to look at them again.
Next time I need to amputate someone's limb, I have a guide. Last time it didn't go so well.
Your first mistake was using a butter knife.
Load More Replies...Some of these are actually just plain useful for people in specific professions (picking up ostrich), or for some edge-case scenarios (backpack from pants).
This proves that there are no useless talents. If it will make someone else snicker, laugh or wonder, it has proven its worth.
LOVE this list - so useless and I saved a lot of the images, never to look at them again.
Next time I need to amputate someone's limb, I have a guide. Last time it didn't go so well.
Your first mistake was using a butter knife.
Load More Replies...Some of these are actually just plain useful for people in specific professions (picking up ostrich), or for some edge-case scenarios (backpack from pants).
This proves that there are no useless talents. If it will make someone else snicker, laugh or wonder, it has proven its worth.