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‘Learn Useless Talents’: 40 Useless But Very Cool-Looking Things You Can Learn To Impress Others
When we think about talents, we often imagine something cool, valuable and impressive. From painting to playing an instrument, these abilities immediately bring us into the spotlight and make us a teeny tiny bit better than anyone born without them.
But this online group celebrates exactly the opposite of that. Welcome to the “Learn Useless Talents” subreddit, a miscellaneous home to 694k members who share not just talents, but the most useless ones of all.
“This is a place to learn how to do cool things that have no use other than killing time and impressing strangers,” the group’s description reads, so I leave the stage to some of the best (and most useless!) posts posted here.
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#1
Ima Do This
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#2
How To Gird Up Your Loins When The Wedding Party Is Over
The Scout 2 years ago
That's exactly where this technique once originated. In times when long robes were common for men, "girding one's loins" was a sysnonym for "getting ready to fight". It ist used that way even in the bible: "But you, you must gird your loins, and stand" (Jeremiah 1, 17) or "with your loins girded, your shoes on your feet, and your staff in your hand" (Exodus 12:11).
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Lupita Nyong'heaux 2 years ago
i have actually done this in real life and it works just as well as you imagine! (just the dress part, not the "kill a man" part. cuz that would be illegal and, besides, where would i have hidden the katan- ... ummmm... ok, move along, folks. nothing to see here.)
Juliette Deroulede 2 years ago
Watched a behind the scenes video of Benedict Cumberbatch writhing on the floor while roaring those words... It was hysterical. Had to watch it a dozen times in a row... 😂😂
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Stinky Malinky 2 years ago
That dress ain’t hanging like it is in fig.1 without some dramatic underskirt/s situation, that isn’t going to go into the tied back mode.
Remi (He/Him) 2 years ago
Just throw the underskirt to the underbrush during the phase 2 and you're good to go
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Kainaath Khan 2 years ago
This is how the women in a community of Maharashtra india wear their sarees.
ace lesbian demigirl(she/they) 2 years ago
I will use that advice at my mom's cousin's wedding in June.
Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey 2 years ago
i LOVE this because nonone knows how to actually 'gird thier loins' anymore!
liam newton-harding 2 years ago
Check out Jill Bearup for more advice on sword fighting in a dress... especially if you are the Bride :)
#3
How To Tell Apart Various Language Writings
When we speak about learning new skills, whether it’s something we’re talented in or not, it’s impossible not to address people’s obsession with improving themselves and becoming better in one way or another. Life hacks seem to be everywhere these days, from little things like easily opening stuck jar lids to more profound ones like becoming more productive and learning to use your time wisely on a daily basis.
To better understand this phenomenon that has been everywhere on social media, we reached out to Mike Sturm, a productivity and personal growth expert, who thinks that the current obsession with life hacks is about 2 main things.
“First, we love to be inventors and discoverers. If we believe we've come up with something no one else has, or discovered something that very few others know about, we get a kick out of it. Secondly, many of us really believe that making everything we do as efficient as possible is the way to a great life,” Sturm argues.
#5
How To Split A Donut
#6
How To Make A Grim Reaper Puppet Using Your Sleeve And Hand
On the other hand, “the problem is that if you make something super-efficient, but it's something you probably should have stopped trying to do long ago, you're not any better for it. In fact, you're probably worse off—because you've invested time and energy on this thing that really doesn't bring value to your life,” the productivity coach explained.
#7
How To Make An Amazing Sofa Fort
#8
How To Properly Peal A Post-It Note From The Stack
#9
How To Make A Shadow Turtle
Our obsession with life hacks indicates that we spend a lot of time thinking that what makes for a good life has a lot to do with how we are perceived by others. “Do they think we're cool, smart, innovative, strong, etc.? But what others think of us—even what those close to us think—is just a proxy for what's more important: are we bringing value to others? Are we uncovering meaningful truths in the world? Are we genuinely improving some small part of the world?” Sturm wonders.
“But often times, the things that go viral and get you noticed quickly are not what brings the most value,” he added.
#10
How To Make A Pants Backpack
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
I'm doing this tomorrow and waiting to see how long it takes before someone notices and says "Are those PANTS??"
#11
How To Make A Shower For A Small Bird
#12
Learn How To Draw A Sheep
It’s also worth noting that a lot of life hacks surfing online seem to be either absurd or totally useless, aka how to peel a cucumber with cling tape. In response to this, Sturm quoted Peter Drucker: "There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all."
According to Sturm, we only get one shot at this life (that we know of). “And while I can't deny that it's fun sometimes to figure out novel ways to peel vegetables with household items, there's only a small amount of that kind of stuff that brings real value to your life. There are things that are worth working on to make more efficient. Those are the things that need to be done, because if they're not, then what's important to you will suffer,” he explained.
#14
Well, Then
Den Ver 2 years ago (edited)
I was on a bus tour where someone took a drink from a can of Coke and got stung. They couldn't stop crying, so I asked if it was a Bee or a Wasp -- they didn't know. . . . It Makes A Difference. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I told them, if it was a bee, it would have left behind a stinger and a venom sack. When took a look, I could see it in the roof of their mouth. Using the tweezers from a swiss army knife, I extracted it and solved the problem. Instant pain relief. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . If you've read this far, you've learned some "useless" information like the other people on the bus.
#15
Nato Phonetic Alphabet
Sturm argues that what this all comes down to is getting clear on what's important to you—really important. “What do you want out of this life? What needs to happen for your life to get that way? And if you're not sure yet what you want out of life, then that's the most important thing for you to do right now,” he said and added that “no amount of finding better ways to do mundane things will find that out for you.”
#16
Does Learning Strange Spoken Language Rules Count?
#17
How To Shake Ankles
#18
How To Survive Being Buried Alive
#19
The Gentlemans Guide To Amputation
PickleRick 2 years ago
I'd need a lot of brandy before this no matter which person I am in the equation.
#20
How To Fold A Napkin To Fit Three Pieces Of Silverware
#21
Become The Master Of Shadows With These Simple Steps (Plus Its A Cool Title For Your Resume)
#22
How To Make A Quick Escape
#23
The Names Of Types Of Camera Movements
#24
How To Create Glyphs
#25
How To Make A Stapler Mandala
#26
How To Bounce A Dinner Roll
#27
Make Paper Boat Out Of Toilet Paper Roll
#28
How To Beatbox
#29
How To Fold A Plastic Bag Properly. Not Just Scrunch It Up Into A Ball
#30
How To Find Waldo
#31
You Can Unfold Kinder Egg Pods Into Desktop Catapults
#32
How To Turn Your Cat Into A Bunny
#33
How To Casually Get In Water As A Big Man
#34
How To Loudly Whistle With Four Fingers In Your Mouth
sturmwesen 2 years ago
I nearly barfed trying it. I guess I will keep whistling like a peasant with dry fingers.
#35
How To Draw A Boy From The Word "Boy"
#36
How To Solve A Rubik's Cube
#37
How To Be A Table
#38
How To Make Your Lipstick Last Through Eating
#39
How To Cut An Apple With Your Finger
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What do you think ?
LuckyL 2 years ago
LOVE this list - so useless and I saved a lot of the images, never to look at them again.
Steve Kenney 2 years ago
Next time I need to amputate someone's limb, I have a guide. Last time it didn't go so well.
Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
Your first mistake was using a butter knife.
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Ivo H 2 years ago (edited)
Some of these are actually just plain useful for people in specific professions (picking up ostrich), or for some edge-case scenarios (backpack from pants).
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
This proves that there are no useless talents. If it will make someone else snicker, laugh or wonder, it has proven its worth.
LuckyL 2 years ago
LOVE this list - so useless and I saved a lot of the images, never to look at them again.
Steve Kenney 2 years ago
Next time I need to amputate someone's limb, I have a guide. Last time it didn't go so well.
Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
Your first mistake was using a butter knife.
Load More Replies... Ivo H 2 years ago (edited)
Some of these are actually just plain useful for people in specific professions (picking up ostrich), or for some edge-case scenarios (backpack from pants).
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
This proves that there are no useless talents. If it will make someone else snicker, laugh or wonder, it has proven its worth.
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